IN THE MOOD FOR LOVING WES ANDERSON

—I don’t like symmetry. I don’t like the frame telling me, “Look at me, I am the frame, I am your master” I don’t like selfies that distort faces. I don’t get team spirit and I really don’t like the uniform of team spirit, otherwise known as the scout movement. I am incapable of hatching even the simplest of plans or devising even the flimsiest strategy; any of those things that help cement team spirit. Nostalgia makes me queasy. I don’t believe in love at first sight, especially in films. Ever since Jack Nicholson got his nose slit in , I don’t like films with characters who walk around with a bandage on their face or on their nose. Whenever I see a. I don’t like new films that quote old films, watching them makes me feel old. I prefer old films that quote new films, watching them makes me feel young. I don’t like it when everything appears to be so perfectly in its place, I don’t know where mine is. I feel I should take off my shoes before going in. I feel too old to take everything at face value but too young for tongue–in–cheek. I don’t like misfits or oddballs, in particular teenagers and especially when they carry on acting like teenagers when they aren’t.