I’ve Been Secret Friends With My Son’s Ex for 30 Years
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Each installment of The Friendship Files features a conversation between The Atlantic’s Julie Beck and two or more friends, exploring the history and significance of their relationship.
This week she talks with a woman whose best friend is her ex-boyfriend’s mother—and more than 30 years into the relationship, they still haven’t told him they’re friends. They discuss how their friendship has evolved since the days when Alison thought she might one day be Karen’s daughter-in-law, why Karen hasn’t told her son about Alison, and how the lines between “friend” and “family” have blurred for them.
The Friends:
Karen Johnson, 79, a retired secretary who lives in Vancouver, Washington
Alison Silva, 51, a landlord who lives in Portland, Oregon
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
Julie Beck: Your friendship has an unlikely origin story—tell me how you met.
Alison first came to our house
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