Roger's PROFANISAURUS
attack of the mallards phr. Descriptive of the experience of being followed around by a noisy duck. With bad breath. ‘I do apologise, Ken. I seem to be having an attack of the mallards.’ ‘No problem, Janice. We’ll just put it down to nerves. Now let’s play Popmaster!’
bitter truth, the 1. n. Title of a 2003 William Lashner novel featuring a “jaded Philadelphia lawyer” which has three-and-ahalf stars on Amazon, where it is available used from £1.54. 2. phr. The working man’s equivalent of “In Vino Veritas”. Setting the record straight when pissed up on Tetleys
bomb threat euph. A suspicious package which looks like the owner has stuffed socks, vegetables, sausages etc. into his scads in order to make his explosive payload look bigger. ‘Nice bomb threat there, Mr Plant.’
bongo fury 1. n. Title of a 1975 album by Frank Zappa and Captain Beefheart which has got three-and-a-half stars on AllMusic. 2. n. Furious and frenetic bout of debugging the hard drive following a temporary internet outage.
boss fart n. The final - and most deadly - blast that concludes a session of flatulence. ‘Sorry dear, that was the boss fart on the blower. I’ve got to go and take care of some paperwork.’
International propaganda shenanigans whereby shady, state-employed malefactors set up fake social media accounts in order to influence political someone .
