Sienna’s Monster
Sienna lived with a monster, but no one else knew it.
The first time Sienna realized that her monster wasn’t like the rest was in 4th grade. The whole grade assembled in the auditorium. A police officer watched them enter from his place on the stage. His stern presence and heavy uniform covered the room in a quiet and serious mood.
Officer Charles told the kids that they had a right to live in a safe home and explained that not every kid had a happy family – some lived with monsters! Little Sienna’s eyes widened with hope.
He is talking about me! I’m not the only one living with a monster?!
She knew Officer Charles would tell them all about her monster, and then save her!
“The signs of living with a monster are easy to spot if you know what to look for. If your friend displays scratches on their body, those may be from a monster. Remember, monsters have four claws on each forelimb, so the scratches come in sets of four and are often quite deep.”
With these words, Officer Charles snuffed out that small spark of hope. Sienna’s monster had never scratched her, at least not yet. She lived in constant fear of the hooked blades at the end of her monster’s fingers, though she had never felt their burn on her skin.
Officer Charles continued, “Monsters also frequently drink alcohol – they need this fuel so they can breathe fire. Of course, humans drink alcohol too, but monsters drink much more at one time and then breathe fire over their whole family soon after. If you or a friend are living with someone who burns their child in fits of anger, these are clear signs of a monster in hiding.”
The officer went on to explain how to help a friend or where to seek help for yourself, but Sienna hardly heard him. She knew then that her monster would never be found out. No one would save her. Sienna’s monster never drank alcohol, and he never scratched her with his forepaws.
But Sienna knew, even at 9, that something was wrong in her life. If nothing was wrong with him, there must be something wrong with her.
Maybe I was overreacting. Maybe he wasn’t a monster at all. He always said I was a drama queen. Maybe he was right.
Sienna, September 2020, age 18
As her parents drove away, Sienna wasn’t sure how she was supposed to feel. She looked to other faces for a cue, but couldn’t decipher what she saw. Her breaths came shallow and fluttering. She was finally at college. So many unknowns faced her. She didn’t know which one to worry about first. Classes? Homework? Navigating campus? How to arrange her room? Her roommate?
Yes. That was her biggest concern. Who was this person she would have to share a tiny room with for the next year? What if she was terrible and mean? Sienna steeled herself to be strong no matter what horror awaited her.
When Clara first set foot in their fourth floor, ten by nine room with a slanted ceiling, she had a smile on her face. The room was already cramped with two desks, two dressers, and two beds. Clara’s parents followed her in, and the four of them pressed in close to all fit into the small space – Sienna felt suffocated.
Fortunately, Clara’s parents did not stay long. After introducing themselves, they hugged their daughter in turn and relieved the space of their presence.
Clara was Sienna’s height and, to Sienna, the perfect build. She was not skinny, but she was certainly not overweight. Her hair was dark and fell all around her face in bouncy ringlets.
Of course, I would end up with little miss perfect body for a roommate.
Most strikingly, her face was kind and conveyed curiosity and excitement without a hint of fear. Sienna tried mimicking the smile of the girl she was to live with as they said their obligatory pleasantries but guessed it came out lacking the joy smiles are intended to convey.
The freedom of being in college brought more stress than relief to Sienna. She had never been presented with so many choices before. It was all too much sometimes. She was often on edge and found herself irritated by every small thing. It didn’t
