Roger’s PROFANISAURUS
arsejection moulding n. The kind of sit down toilet adventure that requires you to tease your nipsy back into roughly the right shape afterwards. A humpty dumpty that changes the way you walk. See also (like a) hedgehog through a cheesegrater.
ballistics n. The science of jizzbolts.
bet Freds n. A tight group of loud, Lynx-deodorant smelling, thirty-something men - who only refer to each other by nicknames - hanging around the bar in amomentarily trendy establishment.
bio-break 1. n. Term used by business wankers when they need to have a five minute interregnum between meetings in order to answer the call of nature. 2. n. A monkey’s fagbreak.
bring down the gavel 1. phr. What an auctioneer on Bargain Hunt does in order to bring everyone’s suffering to a close. 2. n. The highly audible sound made by the toilet seat when it releases itself from the back of the thighs, indicating the conclusion of someone’s duties. ‘Ah, it sounds as though the Lord Chamberlain has brought down the gavel at last. Although I’d give it ten minutes if I
