My ABBA tribute – at the police station

Mother has been buoyed by my first substantial job of the year – and became particularly giddy when she heard it would involve two days a week working in an office in a far-off city.

‘With multiple trains, he’ll be gone before we’re even up,’ she gabbled excitedly as she scraped butter substitute onto a celebratory crumpet. Crumpets are normally reserved for surprise death notices of perceived enemies. Father and I often reflect that if Mother could