Writer’s block? I’ve got reader’s block

In the vexing matter of the New Year and the laval eruption of fresh optimism that supposedly comes with it, I cleave like a barnacle to the guidance of the late Enver Hoxha.

Addressing his people at the dawn of 1967, the Albanian dictator underscored a hard-won reputation for wanton cheeriness. He said, ‘This year will be harder than last year. On the other hand,’ continued Marxist-Leninism’s very own Mrs Mopp, ‘it will be easier than next year.’