Viz Magazine

Letter bocks

CHILDREN nowadays are soft as shite, whereas in the 60s, 70s and 80s kids were hard as fuck. Thinking about it, it may have had something to do with all that asbestos in the classrooms. So come on. Let’s bring back asbestos and have tougher kids.

Hasto, Cramlington

I CAN’T help thinking that this government would not be getting away with their appalling behaviour if the Tories had employed Dame Thora Hird as a special adviser. When the likes of Suella Braverman started airing their rather robust views on how this country should be run, the common sense clog-sparker would simply shut them down by shouting something like “Oh pull yer ’orns in why don’t yer?!” whilst ‘donkey-stoning’ the front step until it gleamed.

Mike Hayley, Penrith

I LIVE in the town of West Bridgford in Nottingham. It is situated on the south bank of the river Trent and on the east side of Trent Bridge. There’s nothing ‘west’ about it at all. Honestly, the quicker we leave the EU the better.

Tarquin Golightly, West Bridgford

THANKS National Grid for your email warning of yellow snow. I’m not really a fan of any snow, but the yellow stuff definitely tastes funny.

Matt Keane, Peterlee

FC have the Latin motto s – ‘Second to None’ on their club crest. However, they are currently in sixth place in the Northern Premier League East division, a full 32 points behind league leaders Worksop Town. If they wins – ‘Second to Worksop Town’.

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