I’m the One Who Survives: An Excerpt from ‘The Postcard’

Claire,

I called this morning to tell you I wanted to talk to you about something, but that I needed to put my thoughts down in writing. Organize them. So here they are.

You know I’m trying to find out who sent the anonymous postcard to Lélia, and obviously, this whole investigation has stirred up a lot of things inside me. I’ve been reading a lot of books and I stumbled across this quote from Daniel Mendelsohn in The Elusive Embrace: “Like a lot of atheists, I compensate by being superstitious, and I believe in the power of first names.”

The power of first names. That little phrase did something funny to me. It made me think.

I’ve realized that, when we were born, Mom and dad gave us both Hebrew first names as middle names. Hidden first names. I’m Myriam and you’re Noémie. We’re the Berest sisters, but on the inside, we’re also the Rabinowitz sisters. I’m the one who survives, and you’re the one who doesn’t. I’m the one who escapes. You’re the one who is killed. I don’t know which is the heavier burden to bear, and I wouldn’t dare to guess. It’s a lose-lose situation, this inheritance of ours. Did our parents even think about that? It was a different time, as they say.

Anyway, Mendelsohn’s words shook me up. And I’m wondering what I—you—we should do with these names. I mean…I’m wondering what we’ve done with them so far, and I’m wondering how they’ve affected us, silently, invisibly. Affected our personalities and how we