ass napkins n. Shit tickets, particularly ones half-inched opportunistically from a fast food establishment. Also crapkins, job application forms.
awakening wonder 1. phr. How wholesome family entertainer Russell Brand apparently refers to his bold, free-thinking fans. 2. n. A hungover shart at about 6am on a Sunday; something to wake you up bright and early, ready for a shambling trip to the nearest retail park to buy a nice new mattress.
ballooga caviar n. An acquired taste; a sticky, saline condiment which a posh fellow might spread on his crumpet. ‘More ballooga caviar, Master Rees-Mogg?’ ‘A soupçon, Jeeves. I’ve got double Maths this afternoon.’
balloon bender n. A lady who, during the rigours of making the beast with two backs, releases fanny farts that sound like a children’s party entertainer creating a giraffe by twisting them long ones together.
BBAA abbrev. What a well-brought-up young man-about-town runs his flannel over when the boiler’s fucked, viz. Bellend, Balls, Arsehole, Armpits. Also gentlemen’s wash, vicar’s bath, workman’s plunge.
Blakey’s, right up to the phr. Pushing something in as possibly far as it can go. ‘Camilla’s eyes burned into Charles’s like two fire-filled garnets. “Am I the first?” he murmured into her ear as he undid his Coronation robes. “Yes of course my dear,” she replied breathlessly, as he shoved his knob in right up to the Blakeys. “Give or take.”’ (from The Newly Coronated Prince who was by Barbara Cartland).
