The Midwest Survival Guide: How We Talk, Love, Work, Drink, and Eat . . . Everything with Ranch
Written by Charlie Berens
Narrated by Charlie Berens
5/5
()
About this audiobook
Everything you need to know to survive in the greatest place on Earth
Have you ever had a goodbye lasting more than four hours? Do you lack the emotional capacity to say “I love you” so you just tell your loved ones to “watch out for deer”? Have you apologized to a stranger because she stepped on your foot? If you answered yes to any of these questions, there’s a good chance you’re a Midwesterner—or a Midwesterner at heart.
Even if you answered no, you probably know someone who held the door for you from two football fields away. He likely waved at you and said, “Hey there,” like you organized the church bar crawl together. That was a Midwesterner in the wild. We understand that your interaction was strange—but it’s likely to get stranger. Don’t wait until they stick their head in your second-floor window to invite you over for a perch fry because they climbed on your roof to clean your gutters. There’s no need to pull the pepper spray; this species is helpful by nature. And the relationship could be very symbiotic—but only if you let it happen. And that’s where this book comes into play.
Inspired by my comedy tours across the Midwest and life growing up in Wisconsin, this book is an exploration into my favorite region on Earth. Some may think the Midwest is just a bunch of bland flyover states filled with less diversity than a Monsanto monoculture. But scratch that surface with your buck knife and you’ll find rich cultures and traditions proving we’re more than just fifty shades of milk.
So whether you’re a born-and-bred Midwesterner looking to sharpen your skill at apologies or a costal elite visiting the in-laws for the holidays, this book will help you navigate the Midwest, with everything from the best flannel looks to dating and mating rituals (yes, casserole is involved) to climbing the corporate corn silo to how to handle a four-way stop—and every backyard brat fry in between.
And for those of you who don’t like reading, don’t worry—we’ve got pictures! Toss in illustrations, sidebars, quizzes, and jokes worthy of a supper club stall and The Midwest Survival Guide is just the walleye-deep look into this distinctive, beautiful, and bizarre American culture you’ve been looking for.
Supplemental enhancement PDF accompanies the audiobook.
Charlie Berens
Charlie Berens is an Emmy Award–winning journalist, comedian, musician, and creator ofThe Manitowoc Minute, a comedic online news series that covers everything from national news to used bubblers (what some might call “water fountains”) for sale on Kenosha’s Craigslist.The Manitowoc Minute and Berens’s other sketch videos consistently get millions of views online, and he has performed stand-up for sold-out crowds around the country. He has been featured on Comedy Central, Fox, CBS Sports Network, TBS Digital, MTV News, and more. Before his career in comedy, he worked in local news and won an Emmy Award for “The Cost of Water,” an investigative report on pricing water in climates experiencing drought. Berens’s album Unthawed hit the #1 spot on the Billboard bluegrass albums chart and #6 on the comedy albums chart. He also hosts the weekly CripesCast podcast. One of twelve children, Berens lives in Milwaukee.
Related to The Midwest Survival Guide
Related audiobooks
Yes, You're Pregnant, But What About Me? Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5NPR Road Trips: Family Vacations: Stories that Take You Away Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5NPR Road Trips Collection Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Don't Make Me Pull Over!: An Informal History of the Family Road Trip Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Stuff You Should Know: An Incomplete Compendium of Mostly Interesting Things Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Greatest Beer Run Ever: A Memoir of Friendship, Loyalty, and War Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Canada Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Dave Barry's Book of Bad Songs Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Way I Heard It Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Oh, Florida!: How America's Weirdest State Influences the Rest of the Country Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Welcome to Dunder Mifflin: The Ultimate Oral History of The Office Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Best. State. Ever.: A Florida Man Defends His Homeland Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Sh*t My Dad Says Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Enslaved by Ducks: How One Man Went from Head of the Household to Bottom of the Pecking Order Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Daditude Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Dad, How Do I?: Practical ""Dadvice"" for Everyday Tasks and Successful Living Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5People I Want to Punch in the Throat: Competitive Crafters, Drop-off Despots, and Other Suburban Scourges Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Bro Code for Parents: What to Expect When You're Awesome Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Bored of the Rings: A Parody Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Kindness and Wonder: Why Mister Rogers Matters Now More Than Ever Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Politically Correct Holiday Stories: For An Enlightened Yultide Season Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5A Bathroom Book for People Not Pooping or Peeing but Using the Bathroom as an Escape Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Overstated: A Coast-to-Coast Roast of the 50 States Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Boogers Are My Beat: More Lies, But Some Actual Journalism from Dave Barry Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Do Penguins Have Knees? Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/550 Great American Places: Essential Historic Sites Across the U.S. Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Humor & Satire For You
Nothing to See Here Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Sure, I'll Join Your Cult: A Memoir of Mental Illness and the Quest to Belong Anywhere Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A Man Called Ove: A Novel Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Killing the Guys Who Killed the Guy Who Killed Lincoln: A Nutty Story About Edwin Booth and Boston Corbett Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come: One Introvert's Year of Saying Yes Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How Y'all Doing?: Misadventures and Mischief from a Life Well Lived Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5ADHD is Awesome: A Guide to (Mostly) Thriving with ADHD Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Paradise Problem Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Margo's Got Money Troubles: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Anxious People: A Novel Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Yes Please Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Spoiler Alert: You're Gonna Die: Unveiling Death One Question at a Time Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Librarianist: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Tidy the F*ck Up: The American Art of Organizing Your Sh*t Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Summary: Lessons in Chemistry: A Novel by Bonnie Garmus: Key Takeaways, Summary & Analysis Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The Soulmate Equation Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Scrappy Little Nobody Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Love and Other Words Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Devil Wears Scrubs: A Short Comedic Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Humans: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Last Black Unicorn Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Sh*t My Dad Says Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Big Swiss: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A Dirty Job Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Furiously Happy: A Funny Book About Horrible Things Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Britt-Marie Was Here: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Mary Jane: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How to Stay Married Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5
Reviews for The Midwest Survival Guide
8 ratings1 review
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Hilarious!! But yet truthful. I loved it. Welp, I spose it’s time to post this.