Foreverland: On the Divine Tedium of Marriage
Written by Heather Havrilesky
Narrated by Heather Havrilesky
4/5
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About this audiobook
“Full of razor-sharp, big-hearted wisdom…. Couples should read this book aloud to each other instead of writing vows. People who never want to get married should read this book anyway.” —Leslie Jamison
An illuminating, poignant, and savagely funny examination of modern marriage from Ask Polly advice columnist Heather Havrilesky
If falling in love is the peak of human experience, then marriage is the slow descent down that mountain, on a trail built from conflict, compromise, and nagging doubts. Considering the limited economic advantages to marriage, the deluge of other mate options a swipe away, and the fact that almost half of all marriages in the United States end in divorce anyway, why do so many of us still chain ourselves to one human being for life?
In Foreverland, Heather Havrilesky illustrates the delights, aggravations, and sublime calamities of her marriage over the span of fifteen years, charting an unpredictable course from meeting her one true love to slowly learning just how much energy is required to keep that love aflame. This refreshingly honest portrait of a marriage reveals that our relationships are not simply “happy” or “unhappy,” but something much murkier—at once unsavory, taxing, and deeply satisfying. With tales of fumbled proposals, harrowing suburban migrations, external temptations, and the bewildering insults of growing older, Foreverland is a work of rare candor and insight. Havrilesky traces a path from daydreaming about forever for the first time to understanding what a tedious, glorious drag forever can be.
Editor's Note
Marriage is a project…
New York Magazine’s longtime “Ask Polly” advice columnist shares candid reflections on the monotony of matrimony, as well as the unspoken, often complicated emotions associated with the life milestone. Other married folks will nod along while reading this witty and realistic take on the lifelong project that is marriage.
Heather Havrilesky
Heather Havrilesky writes the popular Ask Polly advice column on Substack and is the author of What If This Were Enough?, How to Be a Person in the World, and Disaster Preparedness. She has written for the New Yorker, the Atlantic, the New York Times Magazine, and NPR’s All Things Considered, among others, and also maintains the Ask Molly newsletter, written by Polly’s evil twin. She lives in Durham, North Carolina, with her husband, two daughters, and two dogs.
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Reviews for Foreverland
76 ratings7 reviews
What our readers think
Readers find this title difficult to enjoy due to dislike of the main character and lack of focus on the marriage itself. However, the fabulous writing, relatable secret thoughts, and scathing honesty make it worth checking out for those who can relate to a cynical view of life. The author's truth and the amalgam of masculine/feminine syncretism are commendable."
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I like books that make me lol in places, some of her secret thoughts are so relatable :)
1 person found this helpful
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Fabulous writing. I’m glad I’m not married to her though. Also, if you don’t have kids, you’ll want to skip several chapters that won’t be interesting at all. I wanted more about the marriage itself.
1 person found this helpful
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I enjoyed the scathing and cynical honesty of this book. It's definitely not for everyone, but if you can relate to a cynical view of life, it may be worth checking out.
1 person found this helpful
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5HH has what it takes: heart and balls. She’s the perfect amalgam of masculine/feminine syncretism….wish more women especially would tell their truth.
- Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5It is so difficult for me to enjoy a nonfiction book when I dislike the main character. Such was the case here.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Excellent, enjoyable book on the impossibility and imperfection of marriage and the people in one. Her direct, colloquial prose and narration had me laughing out loud at points, and her reflection, analysis, and insight had me marking sections for deeper consideration. Excellent balance of humor and thought.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5It's funny because it's true. I cannot get enough of Heather Havrilesky's sentences.