The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert, Revised and Updated
Written by John M. Gottman, PhD and Nan Silver
Narrated by Eric Michael Summerer
4.5/5
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About this audiobook
This book is the culmination of his life's work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward in their approach, yet profound in their effect, these principles teach partners new and startling strategies for making their marriage work. Gottman helps couples focus on each other, on paying attention to the small day-to-day moments that, strung together, make up the heart and soul of any relationship. Being thoughtful about ordinary matters provides spouses with a solid foundation for resolving conflict when it does occur and finding strategies for living with those issues that cannot be resolved.
Including questionnaires, exercises, and quizzes in a supplemental PDF, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.
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Reviews for The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
382 ratings18 reviews
What our readers think
Readers find this title to be a great book with a wealth of good information and knowledge for successful relationships. It provides helpful tips, guides, and activities for couples to build friendship and improve their relationship. The book emphasizes the importance of planning and continuous effort to grow and flourish in a relationship. Although the audiobook version may not be recommended for everyone due to the tests and lists included, overall, this book is highly recommended for those seeking a blissful marriage and relationships.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Absolutely phenomenal book highly recommend it if you want to improve your marriage and prove your communication skills and just learn more about yourself this is a great book to start
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5This is a great book with a wealth of good information and knowledge for a successful marriage
Listening to it is a great way to revisit these principles again and again - Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Really good book with a practical approach . Highly recommend it!
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5With so many tests and lists in this book, I can't recommend the audiobook version, unless you skip the "rate your situation" sections altogether. There's a lot to be learned here, though. I guess that the core message of this book is that every relationship takes planning and continuous effort to grow and flourish.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I loved it. It's a must read - listen. Wow. Thank you Gottman. I will Definitely listen again.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Very helpful tips, guides and activities for couple to build friendship
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The best book for relationships , you will understand several things happening on yours and how to improve them. Even if you are not going through hardships you will find it useful to improve it even more.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5An excellent guide to a blissful marriage and relationships. Highly recommend it!
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I picked up this book when I read an excerpt about a long-married couple who swept all of their major problems under a rug and never discussed their relationship. I was curious to discover how they could be considered "happily married" when they broke all the rules of communication and compromise.
What I discovered through reading this book is irreconcilable differences exist in EVERY marriage, even happy ones!
Mr. Gottman shows how to live with irreconcilable differences in seven simple steps. Of course, simple does not necessarily mean easy!
If you're in a romantic relationship and wondering if it's possible to learn how to live with a messy partner when you're neat, or how to live with a compulsive shopper when you're a saver, or how to live with a partner who must socialize every night when you just want to stay home and curl up with a good book, then this is a MUST READ. You'll gain valuable insight and practical advice on the nature of true love and what it takes to live "happily ever after."1 person found this helpful
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The first 2 or 3 chapters contain the findings of the "Lovelap." which is what I consider somewhat new information on marriage.
Also helpful is the activities proposed for couples to practice.
And then...the rest of the book says the same thing other marriage books says.
I don't know why I expected something different. That's on me I guess. - Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Both helpful now and helpful as a set of resources to return to in the future, as it is very practically oriented towards structuring questions, reflection, and conversation in helpful ways.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I was hoping to be struck by lightning with this book. My marriage is pretty solid but I could always use improving in the relationship department (who couldn't?). So I was a little worried when the first piece of advice sounded something like this, and I'm paraphrasing: if you can accommodate each other's "crazy" side and handle it with caring, affection and respect, your marriage can thrive. Talk about a duh moment. Of course ANY relationship is going to benefit from caring, affection and respect. The advice gets better and as a result I do see my relationship differently. If I had had more time with the book I would have tried some of the quizzes and exercises. Maybe next time.
- Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5I guess I deserve what I get for buying a book that promises to save my marriage when saving my marriage is most assuredly not what I'm trying to do, but all the obvious stuff about getting along and not having contempt for one another that's in here seems to presume that everyone has a lot more good faith and is also just a lot more bumblingly terrible at conducting human relationships than I actually believe to be the case. Like, not that we have bad faith, per se, but it's just not as goddamn simple as "Ohhhhhh, no contempt! Eureka!" I think the detailed lists of questions to ask your "partner" or whatever and exercises to build bonds (providing you opportunities to "make a bid," in Gottman parlance, for your opposite number's affection) are fine and all, though the sad catch-22 of broken-down relationships is that the more you need to do stuff to shore up your bond, the less willingness to do so you probably have--but then also in addition to that, they are certainly not exercises made for people with small children, because who's got the time.Ah, but why am I yelling at you, John Gottman. You're not even real.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Lots of great advice, however I would not recommend the audio. There are many lists and they read through all of them.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Straight talk from the greatest American researcher on marriage. Dr. Gottman brings both experience and science to bear on what separates great relationships from poor ones. It also includes a number of great exercises for you and your partner.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Although I am a divorce lawyer, I consider myself more successful if my client gets back together and fires me. For any client interested in giving it another try, I always recommend this book first. It’s simple, research based, and there are work books and videos to help.If you are considering a marriage counselor, they better know Gottman’s extensive works well.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Everyone who is married or even thinking about being married should have this book.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Gottman debunks many myths about divorce (primary among them that affairs are at the root of most splits). He also reveals surprising facts about couples who stay together. They do engage in screaming matches. And they certainly don't resolve every problem. "Take Allan and Betty," he writes. "When Allan gets annoyed at Betty, he turns on ESPN. When Betty is upset with him, she heads for the mall. Then they regroup and go on as if nothing's happened. Never in forty-five years of marriage have they sat down to have a 'dialogue' about their relationship." While this may sound like a couple in trouble, Gottman found that they pass the love-lab tests and say honestly that "they are both very satisfied with their relationship and they love each other deeply."Through a series of in-depth quizzes, checklists, and exercises, similar to the ones he uses in his workshops, Gottman provides the framework for coping with differences and strengthening your marriage. His profiles of troubled couples rescued from the brink of divorce (including that of Rory, the out-of-touch doctor) and those of still-happy couples who reinvigorate their relationships are equally enlightening. --Erica Jorgensen