It’s Not Me, It’s You!: Impossible perfectionist, 27, seeks very very very tidy woman
Written by Jon Richardson
Narrated by Jon Richardson
4.5/5
()
About this audiobook
A control freak looks for love (women who leave wet teaspoons in sugar bowls need not apply).
‘I haven’t woken up with a cup of tea by the bed for seven years. It seems such a small thing but it’s one of a thousand things I miss about having someone around to take care of me. I have spent my entire adult life getting things the way I want them and all I want now is someone to give it all up for.’ Jon Richardson
Is your filing faultless? Your CDs, apostrophes, cutlery all in the right places? Can you eat a biscuit in the correct way? Then Jon Richardson (single for seven years and counting) could be your ideal man…
Living alone in a one bedroom flat in Swindon, 27 year old Jon has had far too much time on his hands to think. In fact to obsess. About almost everything. Jon’s obssessive compulsive personality disorder has seen him arrange the coins in his pockets in ascending size and colour code his bookshelves. It takes him less than 90 seconds to locate a receipt for a pair of shoes he bought in 1997. Over to the filing cabinet and R for receipts, S for shoes.
But Jon doesn’t want to be like this, in fact he would quite like to share his life with someone. But who could that someone be? Someone like himself, a quarrelsome perfectionist only with breasts and less body hair? Absolutely not. But who exactly is Jon looking for and where will he find her? Faced with a loveless future filled with his own peculiar quirks and perfectionism, Jon sets about his search for The One. The question is, will he mind her keeping the knives to the left of the forks in the cutlery drawer or organising the CDs by genre and not alphabetically?
Jon Richardson
Jon Richardson is a 28-year-old stand up comedian from Lancaster. His first solo Edinburgh show, concerning his OCD tendencies, was nominated for the Best Newcomer award at the 2007 Edinburgh Festival. His 2009 show about his resulting perfectionsim was nominated in the Best Show category. He lives in Swindon.
Related to It’s Not Me, It’s You!
Related audiobooks
The Satsuma Complex Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Leave Me Alone Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5When the Balls Drop Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Dirty Daddy: The Chronicles of a Family Man Turned Filthy Comedian Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5In My Defence, I Have No Defence: Stories about trying to be better Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5David Mitchell: Back Story Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How to Cope with Mitchell and Webb Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Becoming Johnny Vegas Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5My Shit Life So Far Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A Class Act: Life as a working-class man in a middle-class world Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5And Away... Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Scotland’s Jesus: The Only Officially Non-racist Comedian Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Work! Consume! Die! Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5I, Partridge: We Need To Talk About Alan Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5How Did All This Happen? Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Ramble Book: Musings on Childhood, Friendship, Family and 80s Pop Culture Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Animal: The Autobiography of a Female Body Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Look Who It Is!: My Story Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Do You Know What?: Life According to Freddie Flintoff Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Sex Power Money: THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Livin' the Dreem: A Year in My Life Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThat’s Your Lot Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Funny You Should Ask . . .: Your Questions Answered by the QI Elves Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Springfield Confidential: Jokes, Secrets, and Outright Lies from a Lifetime Writing for The Simpsons Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Stephen Colbert's Midnight Confessions Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Bloody British: A Well-Meaning Guide to an Awkward Nation Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Surprisingly Down to Earth, and Very Funny: My Autobiography Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Bill Hicks: The Essential Collection Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Fern Brady: Male Comedienne Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5War Paint Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Humor & Satire For You
Killing the Guys Who Killed the Guy Who Killed Lincoln: A Nutty Story About Edwin Booth and Boston Corbett Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A Man Called Ove: A Novel Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Yes Please Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Nothing to See Here Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Soulmate Equation Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How Y'all Doing?: Misadventures and Mischief from a Life Well Lived Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Sure, I'll Join Your Cult: A Memoir of Mental Illness and the Quest to Belong Anywhere Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Margo's Got Money Troubles: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come: One Introvert's Year of Saying Yes Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Paradise Problem Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Summary: Lessons in Chemistry: A Novel by Bonnie Garmus: Key Takeaways, Summary & Analysis Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Happy People Are Annoying Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Librarianist: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Love and Other Words Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5ADHD is Awesome: A Guide to (Mostly) Thriving with ADHD Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5A Dirty Job Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Tidy the F*ck Up: The American Art of Organizing Your Sh*t Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Anxious People: A Novel Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Britt-Marie Was Here: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Mary Jane: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Humans: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Spoiler Alert: You're Gonna Die: Unveiling Death One Question at a Time Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How to Stay Married Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Scrappy Little Nobody Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Unf*ckology: A Field Guide to Living with Guts and Confidence Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Furiously Happy: A Funny Book About Horrible Things Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Office BFFs: Tales of The Office from Two Best Friends Who Were There Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5This Is Going to Hurt: Secret Diaries of a Young Doctor Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Big Swiss: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Related categories
Reviews for It’s Not Me, It’s You!
39 ratings2 reviews
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5This was a great insight into the mind of someone like Jon and it managed to be funny too. Great book.
- Rating: 1 out of 5 stars1/5No wonder why he's alone. Cringy and not funny at all.