Moody Food: A Novel
4/5
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About this ebook
Ray Robertson
Ray Robertson is the author of nine novels, six collections of non-fiction, and a book of poetry. His work has been translated into several languages. He contributed liner notes to three Grateful Dead archival releases: Dave’s Picks #45, the Here Comes Sunshine 1973 boxed set, and the From the Mars Hotel 50th Anniversary Deluxe Edition. Born and raised in Chatham, Ontario, he lives in Toronto.
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Reviews for Moody Food
9 ratings1 review
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5MOODY FOOD, by Ray Robertson. I literally ripped through this book. I mean I just hated to put it down. A riveting read about the fast-changing pop music scene of the mid-sixties, it's a must-read for gray-beards like me who came of age in those exciting times. Robertson's tale of hippie-culture in Toronto's Yorkville, introduces us to American draft dodger, Thomas Graham, and his band the Duckhead Secret Society, formed to launch an entirely new kind of music, "Interstellar North American Music," a fusion of several disparate kinds of music. The story is told by Bill Hansen, a college dropout bookstore clerk, who falls under the spell of Thomas and becomes the band's drummer. Bill in turn brings in his folk-singer girlfriend, Christine, to play bass and sing high harmony with Thomas, who imports another American, an aging drunk named Slippery Bannister, a steel guitar wizard.If ever a novel nailed the essence of the "sex, drugs and rock & roll" culture of the 60s, it's MOODY FOOD (title taken from a line in Shakespeare's ANTONY AND CLEOPATRA which describes music as "moody food"), because the first two elements are here in abundance. The rock & roll is there too, but mixed liberally with George Jones, Buck Owens, Little Richard, Elvis, Chuck Berry, Gordon Lightfoot, Joni Mitchell, etc. - it's all in there: pop, rock, R&B, country, gospel, folk.In his acknowledgements, Robertson credits the music and the influence of Gram Parsons, and although there are probably a number of parallels to Parsons, Robertson's Thomas Graham is a totally fascinating creation that carries the story along at a careening pace. But so too is the narrator, Bill Hansen, who tells not just Thomas's story, but his own too, as he falls deeper and deeper under Thomas's influence, delving into ever harder and harder drugs. Because the drugs and the addictions get darker and deeper as the story progresses.To tell the truth, I didn't remember much about the short flameout career of Gram Parsons, but this book got me curious, had me looking him up, listening to a few of his tunes from the 60s and early 70s. There have been a number of bios written about Parsons and how he left a lasting mark, despite dying young. Stints with the Byrds, the Flying Burrito Brothers, the International Submarine Band, as well as a brief but memorable collaboration with Emmylou Harris. It was one of those truth-is-stranger-than-fiction kind of lives. I may have to take a look at one of those biographies now. But this book, MOODY FOOD, is first-class fiction, writing that soars, climbs and crashes, just like its subject. A damn fine novel. Very highly recommended.
Book preview
Moody Food - Ray Robertson
says.
1.
I MET THOMAS GRAHAM in a bank. He was withdrawing, I was depositing.
Fall hadn’t managed to elbow out of its way yet all the humidity and baking haze of September lingering summer, but I’d decided to brave heatstroke anyway and broken out my buckskin jacket and slid into the friendly snug of my favourite pair of Levis. Impossible, I’ve always maintained, to be the best you can be when you’re not wearing pants. Maybe this is northern prejudice, or maybe I’m just unnaturally sensitive about my legs. Anyway, there I was in my jacket and jeans.
And there was Thomas. In white cowboy boots and a red silk shirt with a little silver cross peeking out underneath, all topped off with a white jacket covered with a green sequined pot plant, a couple of sparkling acid cubes, and a pair of woman’s breasts. The jacket glowed, I swear, and I’d had nothing stronger that morning than a cup of coffee. He was also the only other guy in the bank in blue jeans and with hair hanging down past his collar.
They’d given him some kind of form to get started on while he waited in line, and he was squinting and grinning at the thing like it was written in a language he couldn’t quite understand but for some reason was getting quite a kick out of anyway. Probably high, I thought. He looked up at me from the piece of paper and blew a few brown strands of hair out of his eyes.
"Now that, sir, is one fine article of clothing," he said, lifting a long thin finger, pointing at my fringed jacket.
It took me a second to recover from the jolt of his southern accent. There’s a place over near Kensington Market,
I said. Good stuff. Cheap, too.
Much obliged,
he said. Using the pen he’d been given by the bank, he scribbled down what I’d just told him on the back of his hand. Information recorded, Thomas Graham,
he said, offering his hand.
Bill Hansen.
Pleased to meet you, Bill.
A blue-haired teller signalled that it was Thomas’s turn at the counter. Thomas gave me a wink and loped right up. Afternoon, ma’am,
he said.
Later, after counting out my $23.50 monthy loan payment and signing my receipt, I noticed Thomas with the teller and some obviously important higher-up at the bank—he had to be important: he was balding and wearing an expensive suit—joking and laughing like old friends. At one point the man in the suit actually clasped Thomas by the shoulder to give him a paternal squeeze. My own teller sourly tore off her part of the carbon receipt and didn’t thank me for being part of the Royal Bank family.
I had to walk right past him to escape the bank’s partitioned maze, and Thomas turned away from the two behind the counter and put a hand on my arm. Hey, Buckskin Bill,
he said, Uncle Owsley says thanks for the tip.
He stuck out his hand. See you around?
Sure,
I said.
I smiled, shook his hand, and didn’t open my fist until I was well down Avenue Road.
When I did: two tabs of Owsley acid. Everyone who prided himself on being in the know knew about Owsley Stanley, the mad chemist of San Francisco’s Haight-Ashbury. But here I was actually holding a couple of his legendary powder kegs.
Won’t Christine be blown away? I thought. And wait until I tell her about the guy who gave them to me.
2.
OKAY, JUST A LITTLE background music: Toronto, 1965 in particular.
For anyone starting to let his hair grow long and wanting to hear some good music and maybe even check out some of that free-love action you’d read about going down in places like California, that would basically mean Yorkville, just north of Bloor Street. No more than three blocks in all, Yorkville was our very own city within a city, every street, alley, and low-rent hippie-converted building bursting with the sounds of loud music and the sweet smell of incense and overflowing with like-minded friendly, freaky faces. There was the Inn on the Parking Lot, the Riverboat, the Mynah Bird, the Penny Farthing—coffee shops and folk clubs, basically—where you could listen to Joni Mitchell and Ian and Sylvia and a million others no one has ever heard of since. Everyone drank lots of coffee and smoked plenty of cigarettes and you could play chess outside if the weather was nice and there was pot if you wanted it and all the girls, it seemed, were eighteen years old and tall and thin with the kindest eyes and long dark hair and none of them wore bras even if there really wasn’t all that much love going on, free or otherwise.
But maybe that was just me. As a University of Toronto second-year dropout of no fixed major working part-time at a second-hand bookstore with no guitar-strumming ability of my own, I wasn’t on anybody’s love-to-love-you-baby list. At least not until Christine showed up one day at Making Waves.
The Making Waves Bookstore wasn’t much more than the entire first floor of a paint-peeling Victorian house near the corner of Brunswick and Harbord crammed to the walls with the owner, Kelorn Simpson’s, own book collection, most of it accumulated over twenty years of academic gypsydom. Kelorn was a fiftysomething psychedelicized Ph.D. in English literature with a framed degree from Oxford and dual portraits of Virginia Woolf and Timothy Leary hanging over the front counter to prove it. She was also near-messianic in her need to educate, physically and otherwise, the young female undergraduates who would drift into the bookstore from the university just a few blocks away, as well as reluctant as hell to sell any of her books. Which is how I started working for her in the first place.
After she saw how disappointed I was when she barely even looked at the cardboard box I brought by full of an entire semester’s worth of practically new books, and then how pissed off I became when she wouldn’t sell me her City Lights Pocket Book copy of Howl (a cute girl in black leotards with jet-black hair and no makeup in my Modern American Poetry class told me to read it when I’d asked her out to a Varsity Blues hockey game; she also declined my invitation to the hockey game), Kelorn made me take off my coat and gloves, poured me a cup of mint tea, asked why I needed money so badly that I wanted to sell all my books, and why I wanted to read Allen Ginsberg.
After I told her about the cute girl with the jet-black hair and how I’d dropped out of U of T a few months before and how the bank was calling in my loan and how I’d have to move back in with my parents in Etobicoke soon if I didn’t get a job, Kelorn asked me if I wanted to work at the bookstore.
Doing what?
I asked.
Nothing.
You want to pay me to do nothing.
Practically nothing,
she said. Open and close up when I’m busy. Brew a pot of tea now and then. Help out the customers.
But you don’t sell anything. How am I supposed to help out the customers?
Kelorn set down her cup of tea on the counter. You’re not buying anything and I’m offering to help you, aren’t I?
So when people come in you want me to offer them jobs working here?
Leaning a heavy arm on the countertop, the massive collection of beads, religious medallions, and junk jewellery hanging around her neck set swinging and crashing against each other as she shifted her weight, I thought you said you needed a job,
she said. At an even six feet and with a figure that now—thirty years on and my own 28-inch waist as much a memory as my 8-track collection—can be charitably called Rubenesque, Kelorn, I came to find out, had a way of stopping the talking when there just wasn’t anything worth left to say.
I told her I’d take the job. Told her thanks.
On my way out the door she called out my name and fluttered the copy of Howl across the room. An advance against your salary,
she said.
I put the book in my pocket and said thanks again.
And one more thing, Bill?
she said.
Yeah?
Beatnik girls don’t go to hockey games.
Days at the bookstore, nights prowling around Yorkville, and my hair grew longer and winter into spring. I’d stare outside at the leaves bursting their buds while upstairs Samantha or Roxanne or Gretchen, the very same girls who wouldn’t have given me a second look across the room in Introduction to Philosophy 101, writhed away under Kelorn’s experienced hands before shuffling downstairs from her top-floor apartment wearing freshly fucked-flushed faces and carrying Woolf’s A Room of One’s Own and Norman O. Brown’s Life Against Death, the building blocks of Kelorn’s very own Great Books course.
But I managed to keep up on the rent on my room and shared bath on Huron Street near the university and not fall too far behind on my bank loan, and even when I couldn’t afford to or didn’t feel like getting high, the music around the clubs was usually good and the girls, if unattainable, even more beautiful than the summer before. And the guitars chimed away while we all waited around for what was going to happen next.
When I’d go back home to Etobicoke to visit, my mother would plead with me to cut my hair and my father would read aloud from the pulpit of his easy chair any one of an increasing number of editorials starting to show up in the Toronto Daily Star or Toronto Telegram about the moral decay of our young
and the pied pipers of popular music leading our younger generation headfirst into the hazards of political anarchy and sexual promiscuity
and I’d play right along, as if I’d just come back from a six-hour orgy and was way too tired to go into it, couldn’t even be bothered to defend me and all my raging pagan friends.
Truth was, though, never having to go to the barber any more and hearing some good tunes and getting high once in a while aside, when, I wondered, was some of that moral decay going to come my way?
I wasn’t then and am not now what you’d call a big reader. The hundreds of spines I must have cracked over the counter of Making Waves and the book-crammed cases lining the walls of this Tilbury farmhouse were and are liars both, making everybody and even myself sometimes think I just might be someone who knows something about something. But, then as now, I simply like the feel of being close to so much dedicated conviction and craft, surrounded at every turn by walls and walls of clean black type. Maybe because mine was the first generation to get plunked down in front of the TV whenever mum wanted a quick and easy kiddy-break, eyelids begin to hang heavy and attention span flickers before too many pages manage to get turned.
Or maybe I just wasn’t intended to be one of those who know or think or feel too much, my place the place of steady but plain beat-keeping. But sitting here tonight, a lazy yellow lab by the name of Monty sleeping on the kitchen floor at my feet, maybe a mere metronome is not the worst thing a person can be. Because flip the coin of too much and the other side always comes up too little. Always.
But the next best thing to actually knowing what you’re talking about is memorizing a few good lines and trotting them out at just the right moment. Like when Christine came into the store for the first time wanting to buy one of Kelorn’s recently acquired treasures, a Viking first edition of Kerouac’s On the Road.
You’re telling me you’ve got to ask the owner for permission to sell me this book?
she said.
I’m saying I can ask her when she gets back if she wants to sell it, but I don’t think she will.
Come outside with me for a second,
she said, opening the shop door, tinkling its bell. Seeing me hesitate behind the desk, C’mon,
she said.
It was only the first week of April and we both had our hands buried in the pockets of our jeans. But the afternoon sun was warm on my face and the air was beginning to smell more and more like a full-out blooming was only waiting for the right moment to spring.
What does that say up there?
she said, pointing at the sign over the door to the shop.
Okay, I get your point, but I’ve still got to—
No. What does that sign say?
Making Waves Bookstore.
Exactly,
she said, pulling the pen out of my shirt pocket and scribbling something on a piece of paper she’d taken out of her beaded shoulder bag. Stores sell things. This is a store. Therefore, the owner will sell me the book. Here’s my number. Get her to call me with a price.
She stuck the pen back in my pocket, flashed me a peace sign, and departed down Harbord. Wonderfully long, at least my five-foot-ten, and handsome more than merely pretty with a Yorkville-unfashionable stubbly bald head and strong, sharp features and intense brown eyes, I was glad Kelorn wasn’t there.
Why do you want the Kerouac?
I called out after her.
She turned around.
Hesitating only a moment, Because,
she said, the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of—
—of everything at the same time,
I took over, finishing Kerouac’s sentence for her, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn.
The girl smiled. Impressed or maybe only amused, I wasn’t sure. But she smiled.
You give me a call, too,
she said. I’m playing a gig at the Bohemian Embassy tomorrow night and you can come by my place before if you feel like it and, you know, whatever.
I said maybe I would, okay, maybe, yeah, and put her number in my pocket and the Kerouac under the counter and made myself a fresh pot of mint tea. I liked the sound of whatever. Whatever, I thought, just might be what I’d been looking for.
And time cannot mist out this. How, from the next day’s first but not last furious fucking, to how Christine, moments after completion of the inaugural act, took a drink of water from a glass on the floor beside her mattress and leaned over as if to post-coital kiss but, instead, patiently passed cool water from her mouth to mine, everything she did in bed—to me, to herself, to us—seemed wholly holy natural, yet, at the same time, shatteringly erotic, every hungry gesticulation body-stirring earthy. And later, after her solo acoustic act between poetry readings at the Bohemian Embassy, all night long all that I didn’t know yet about all the things a man and woman stoked by a little hash and a lot of just-met lust can do to and for one another.
But you’ve flipped through the magazines and seen a late-night cable movie or two, and even if it feels like it at the time, no two people ever invent sex, so no need here to blather on and on about what went where and who wailed what. But to this day, never again like that. Never. Aching muscles, for instance, where I didn’t even know I had any. And coming to work straight from spending the night at her place and within an hour having to go and jerk off in the bathroom because Christine getting herself off with her nimble fingers while straddling me backward all I could see, hear, taste, smell. Et cetera, et cetera, all known positions and speeds.
And it was fun having a girlfriend again. Christine was smart and hip and always knew about all the musicians and authors you were supposed to listen to and read that it usually took Canadian hippies a year after the fact to discover. Because as much as it might not have felt like it, Yorkville was still Toronto, and Toronto was still Canada, the kind of place where it had been a crime ten years before to drink a beer in your own backyard.
Thanks to Christine, though, I was probably the first one in the audience able to sing along with her Fred Neil covers, and I even had my own copy of Last Exit to Brooklyn before Kelorn did. And the fact that Christine played Yorkville so much meant that I had something to do with my evenings, a legitimate reason to sit around all night drinking espressos with a step out the back door at the break for a quick jay. And that, for a while, for most of that summer, enough.
Then, late one night early in September, after one of Christine’s shows—just before I met Thomas, in fact—after organic banana bread from Yorkville’s combination head shop and munchie mart, the Grab Bag, and after fifteen minutes of fairly predictable lovemaking, Christine shook her head no to our usual post-doing-it doobie, left the bed, and leaned out my small room’s small window that looked directly onto the bricked wall of the house next door.
The stifling heat all the more so for the kiln-sized dimensions of my room, I decided to attribute the lackluster shows Christine, even by her own admission, had been mailing in of late as well as our own recent less-than-banshee-like coupling—even my own heavier than usual toking—to the same sweaty source. Just as soon as this damn heat and humidity lifts... . I sparked up, the joint’s tiny orange end the room’s only light.
"What do you want, Bill?" Christine said, head still hanging out the window. I could just make out the soft white outline of her bare ass and legs softly glowing in the dark, her long back and all the rest of her curving gently upward into the hot black night filling up the room.
For you to bring that gorgeous body of yours back to bed and smoke some of this fine dope with me.
I mean,
she said, as if she hadn’t heard me, what do you want out of life? What do you really want?
I inhaled, held, swallowed, breathed out. In terms of what?
I said.
In terms of ... I don’t know. Like, where do you think you’ll be twenty years from now?
Geez, Chris, I have a hard enough time trying to imagine what I’m going to wear to work tomorrow.
Does that bother you?
she said.
No.
Really?
I don’t know.
She came back from the window and sat down on the edge of the bed, took the joint and toked. Her beautiful pear-shaped breasts hung down dipping away from each other left and right, slightly defeated and depressed looking drooping there like two ends of a fleshy frown.
They say Dylan’s gone electric for good,
she said.
Yeah.
Maybe I should go electric,
she said, passing me back the joint. What do you think?
Well, that depends, I guess.
On what.
On whether you want to. I mean, do you want to start playing electric guitar with a band?
She took back the spliff before I’d had a chance to put it to my lips, inhaled deeply and didn’t pass it back. After a while, I guess that’s the problem, then, isn’t it?
she said.
What is?
I guess I don’t know what I want.
Naked arm around naked shoulder, I pulled her gently to me, eased us both down on the bed and under the thin white sheet, all the covers the sweltering room would allow.
Wait until the fall,
I said. Nobody knows what to do or think in this damn heat.
I crushed out the roach and kissed her on top of her bristly head goodnight.
But it was too hot to sleep lying there so close together so we separated and clung to opposite sides of the bed. And even then neither of us could seem to drop off, even with my little rotating General Electric fan going full blast. So we sparked up another joint and sat cross-legged on the bed with our backs to the cool white plaster wall listening to Dylan’s latest, Highway 61 Revisited.
And Dylan, it seemed, sure had gone electric. That thin, wild mercury sound right through until morning, the September sun blazing back up and creeping down the alley between my house and the next, the light and the heat and the fierce music charging out of the speakers for just a moment almost one.
He woke up with money all around him, nickels, dimes, quarters, and even a few crumpled dollar bills, all of it surrounding him on the warm morning mattress, a few of the smaller coins sticking to his arms, the imprint of their designs only now beginning to fade as he sat up at last, allowing them all to slowly fall away.
Open-stage Saturday nights at The Steer mean Sunday morning hangovers so intense that blinking equals wincing and not all that much you can do about it but gently close your eyes and try not to breathe too hard and lie there silent and still until extreme thirst, hunger, or the need to urinate absolutely necessitates getting up.
But worth it, though.
Easing himself back down on the mattress, rolling over out of the line of direct sunlight pouring through the window, Thomas manages a sliver of a smile.
Oh yes, worth it.
The toughest, shit-kickingist country and western bar in the state of California circa 1965 is the Steer, located in the city of Industry, California. The sign on the highway states that Industry is twenty-four miles east of Hollywood, but it’s actually approximately 100 million miles away. This is Redneck Country. Work, death, and then, the Good Lord willing, heaven.
Sitting by himself at the back of the club drinking his own pitcher of Budweiser with only his guitar on the chair next to him for company, Thomas Graham waits for his turn at the microphone. Thomas Graham in blue satin bell-bottoms, white rattlesnake-skin cowboy boots, and a genuine Nudie jacket from Nudie’s Rodeo Tailors decorated with hand-sewn sequins in the shape of acid cubes, a woman’s ripe bosom, a green marijuana leaf climbing up each arm, and a flaming red cross emblazoned across the back.
Finally, after the guy in the wheelchair singing I Walk the Line
and the trio of grandmothers doing an a cappella version of Ruby, Don’t Take Your Love to Town,
the bored MC in the white Stetson chewing away at his Redman with a clipboard in one hand and the mike in the other announces, Okay, next up, Thomas Graham. Are you out there, Thomas?
The long walk from the back of the bar to centre stage gets the hooting and wolf-whistling and calls to Get a haircut!
started. By the time he’s settled himself on the wooden stool and tuned his instrument and adjusted the microphone, it’s hard to hear the guitar introduction to his first song over the noise from the crowd.
Not waiting for the audience to quiet down, Thomas sings the opening verse, then another, then goes into the chorus, but with about as much luck at being heard as before. A couple of people think they might actually recognize the song this faggy long-haired hippie is playing, though, and slow down their ruckus long enough to place what it is.
It’s all the opening Thomas needs.
One or two, or maybe even a few, actually begin to really hear him now, but most quit their cackling and hollering just to identify More and More,
the Webb Pierce song barely audible just below the clamour of the crowd. Webb is pure Nashville, one of the big boys, a fat white guy in a crewcut with eight Cadillacs and a guitar-shaped swimming pool. At least this Graham guy knows enough to know a good song.
But before the next number is even halfway over, no more hooting or hollering and all eyes and ears aimed at Thomas singing a Hank Williams song and letting everyone in the universe know he’s so lonesome he could cry. And he could, too, any fool could hear that. Just listen to that boy sing.
Like a back rub on the brain.
Like drinking velvet out of a glass.
Like hearing God hum.
Thomas finishes up with a recent Bob Dylan tune, Subterranean Homesick Blues,
a mile-a-minute bluesy thing with slightly surreal sputtered lyrics that no one in this dark, smelly bar would have ever thought they’d be nodding their heads along to even if you had sworn to them on their momma’s tattered black Bible they would be twenty-five minutes before. And then a gentlemanly, Thank you, everyone, for listening, and good-night,
and Thomas slinks across the beer-puddled floor back to his table by the washrooms.
Before he can refill his glass from what’s left of his warm pitcher of beer, darkness at the edge of his table in the form of three very large men in overalls and scuffed, steel-toed workboots. The Trimar he’d gobbled down an hour before he’d arrived at the club is really starting to kick in now, and Thomas wonders whether he’s seeing triple. Animal tranquilizers, after all, have been known to do so such things.
The one Thomas thinks is in the middle leans his baseball mitt–sized hands (car grease under every nail) on the edge of the table and slowly zooms his hairy face in close.
Me and my buddies here, we were gonna take you out back and kick your ass,
he says. But you sing real nice so we wanna buy you a beer instead.
A white reptile-skinned cowboy boot scrapes a chair away from the table.
Only if you boys will do me the honour,
Thomas says, making room so his three new friends can sit right down.
3.
I MEAN, I’M UP there trying to be cool about it, but it’s my show, right? You’ve seen my set a hundred times, Bill, you know I always take requests and try to encourage everybody to get involved. But this guy just wouldn’t stop. I mean, at the end of every song he’s, like, ‘Merle Haggard! Wanda Jackson! Jimmie Rodgers!’
I’d had to miss Christine’s Tuesday night gig at the Riverboat because of inventory at Making Waves—believe me, taking inventory at a bookstore that rarely ever sells a book is no eight-hour day—and we’d made plans to rendezvous at my place after the show. Christine was striding up and down the length of my tiny room.
And then, just when I thought I’d caught a break after he got up and split after the first set and I’m just starting back up again, just getting into ‘I Ain’t Marching Any More,’ the front door bursts open and here he comes again. But this time he’s not alone, this time he’s got three of those go-go dancing bimbos from the Mynah Bird with him. And of course he somehow manages to get them all settled in at the same table he had before, right in front.
"Three of them?" I said.
The Mynah Bird was a certified Yorkville hippie hangout, but with a strip club exterior for the entire street to see, the club’s owner one day deciding that what he really needed to separate his place from all the others jockeying for our coffee money along the avenue were several bikini-clad dancing girls shaking and shimmying in a second-storey glass booth out front.
Christine stopped her pacing.
Feeling like you really missed out on something, Bill? Maybe if you had been there tonight you could have taken one of them off Mr. Shitkicker’s hands.
No, no, I’m only saying I’m surprised that—
Christine resumed her pacing.
So then it starts all over,
she said. ‘Lovely, lovely, why that’s just lovely, but how about a little Miss Patsy Cline now, darlin’? I just know you could do the old girl justice.’
Hey, this guy,
I said, is he tall and about our age, maybe a little older? Brown hair, white cowboy boots? Like the guy I told you about I met at the bank?
Christine didn’t hear a word I said.
So by now I’ve about had it. I finish up the song I’m doing, put down my guitar, and walk off twenty minutes before the set’s supposed to be over. Go right to the very back of the club to sit by myself for a while and have a smoke and get my head together, you know?
I nodded.
And I’m almost starting to wind down when over walks one of the Mynah bunnies in her four-inch heels with a message and a cup of coffee that I didn’t order. ‘Thomas wants you to know he thinks you’ve got a lovely voice and wonders if he can borrow your guitar.’ I take a sip of the coffee and almost gag—the thing is half coffee and half whisky—and tell her he’s welcome to my guitar but that the owner doesn’t let audience members up on stage except during the Monday night hootenanny. ‘Groovy,’ she says, and hops off back to their table. In the time it takes me to light a new cigarette there he is on stage tuning my guitar.
Christine was at the window now sitting on the sill, trying to find the moon way up there somewhere between my building and the next.
And then what?
I said.
Giving up on the moon, she came over and sat down beside me on the bed.
And then the funniest thing happened,
she said.
Did he finally get to do his country thing?
"Yeah, but ... no. I mean, that’s the weird part. I’m not quite sure what he did. I mean, it definitely sounded like country—you could definitely call it country, I guess. But also, I don’t know ... religious, like gospel music or something. But not in a churchy way, you know? I don’t know how to explain it."
What was it called? Was it his own tune?
After he was done he said it was a Hank Williams song. And I don’t know Hank Williams from Adam, but I don’t think any country singer ever sounded like that.
Did he say what the name of it was?
‘I’ll Never Get Out of This World Alive.’
Christine got up from the bed and fished out of her purse the clear plastic overnight bag she carried with her whenever she was staying over.
And then what happened?
I said.
Just what I told Miss Universe would happen. Bernie came out from the kitchen and saw that somebody else besides me was up on stage and told him to get off, that open stage was Monday night, and not to do it again.
What did this guy say? Did he get mad?
Christine had her hand on the door knob to my room. The shared bathroom was at the end of the hall. No,
she said. Not at all, actually. He just set down my guitar, shook Bernie’s hand, told him, ‘You’ve got one wonderful place here, sir,’ and asked the waitress for a round of coffee and tea and espresso, whatever anybody was having. For the entire house.
Get out of here.
For everybody in the place.
We both smiled.
And I got this.
Back to the dresser and out of her purse, a single red rose.
Where’d you get that?
I said.
After I’d finished my whisky and coffee—
I started laughing.
I had to!
she said, laughing along. If Bernie had found out somebody’d smuggled in booze and that I—
Okay, okay,
I said, holding up my hand.
She looked down at the rose. After I shot the shit with Bernie for a while and was halfway out the door, guess who comes running up the stairs after me?
"He gave you the rose?" I said.
Uh huh. ‘For a fine country lady, whether she knows it or not.’
It had to be the same guy I’d run into at the bank the week before, I thought. It just had to be.
Christine stuck the rose between her teeth and fluttered her eyes her hick-glamorous best.
I took the rose back out.
Hurry up and brush, you fine country lady. Your country boyfriend’s got another ten hours of inventory to do tomorrow.
After we’d surprised ourselves with the first really raunchy, eye-to-eye, good-and-grinding screw we’d managed in a while, I got up to light a candle and brought back to bed with me the gift Thomas had slipped me at the bank.
Do you think it’s the real thing?
Christine said. She was up on one elbow holding the covers to her neck with one hand and the two tabs of acid in the palm of the other. Fall had finally fell. Although a sauna in the summer, my room was like a morgue even on the earliest of autumn nights. Christine pulled the blankets higher and tighter.
I don’t know,
I said, but this guy strikes me as the sort to be pretty serious about his drugs.
And it doesn’t look like he’s hurting for bread,
she said.
We both looked down at the acid.
In spite of our fairly regular toking habits we were both, all things considered, pretty tame users. Heroin, coke, and speed were as yet