Just Desserts
By Mary Daheim
3.5/5
()
About this ebook
When the garishly grotesque clan of wealthy carpet-sweeper magnate Otto Broadie sweeps down upon Judith McMonigle's Hillside Manor Inn, it looks like there'll be a wild night of drinking, dining, and fortune-telling in the offing. But when their soothsayer-for-hire Madame Gushenka drops dead after someone douses her tea leaves with bug killer, harried hostess Judith and her irrepressible cousin Renie are left to clean up the mess. One of the Brodie bunch would dearly love to sweep the Madame's murder under the rug, however, and that might mean eliminating the nosy Ms. McMonigle as well. But with the help of her one-time beau, policeman Joe Flynn, Judith is determined to rattle the dust off some closeted family skeletons, in order to coax a killer out of hiding before coffee is served.
Mary Daheim
Mary Richardson Daheim is a Seattle native with a communications degree from the University of Washington. Realizing at an early age that getting published in books with real covers might elude her for years, she worked on daily newspapers and in public relations to help avoid her creditors. She lives in her hometown in a century-old house not unlike Hillside Manor, except for the body count. Daheim is also the author of the Alpine mystery series.
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Reviews for Just Desserts
82 ratings7 reviews
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The first in this series, this book introduces a B&B owner who is a widow and works with a former boyfriend to find the culprit. The detective did not tell her not to investigate, like every other official said to the woman attempting to solve the murder. That is a plus for him.But there were just too many people for me to follow the story line, particularly when one male was involved with nearly every female character over time. My head was spinning. Looking forward to the second book in the series to see if those issues are resolved.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Just Desserts by Mary Daheim is a 1991 publication.This is the first book is the long running Bed & Breakfast cozy mystery series. With the thirtieth installment set to release soon, I thought it would be fun to go back to the very beginning to see how far the series has progressed. I will confess that I have been much more diligent in following Mary’s “Emma Lord- Alpine” series, than this one, and I have not read every book in the series, but have skipped around here and there with it. However, I’m familiar with the characters and the set up and it’s always fun to touch base with them from time to time. This first book introduces us to Judith and her cousin, Renie, who end up embroiled in the most unusual murder mystery at the Hillside Manor Inn. To make matters even more uncomfortable, Judith’s former fiancé, Joe, is the lead investigator on the case, which stirs up some painful feelings between them, but could also lead Joe to discover a huge secret that Judith has been keeping for over twenty years. The mystery in this case is over the top and to say it is implausible in putting it mildly, but at the same time it was fun to see these characters before the series truly developed because it gives me a greater appreciation of the later installments. The author basically jumps right in without giving the reader a lot of background on Judith, Renie, or Joe. We learn a little more about how Joe and Judith’s wedding was thwarted, but not enough to give us an explanation of why the wrong was not righted a long time ago. So, I found this area rather puzzling. However, the trademark quirky characters that drive Judith and Renie crazy are all here, and gets the series launched, although, looking back on it, it was built on a rather shaky foundation. Still, that just goes to show you, it always pays to stick with a series for at least three installments before deciding to stick with it or let it go. Since these books are quick and easy reads, I think I will read a few more of them in order to get a good solid opinion of the series as a whole before diving into the latest chapter in this series, especially since I’ve only checked in with it sporadically. So stay tuned.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5This book was a typical locked door mystery. The murder occurs at the B&B owned by Judith McMonigle when the Brodie family checks in because their own house is being fumigated. For fun step-mom Oriana, decides to hire a fortune teller who ends up dead.Good premise, but way too many characters with little development who were never sufficiently identified as to how they related to each other, poor police interaction and IMO, below par writing. That said I enjoyed but doubt I'll pick up the next one anytime soon.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5This was an odd book, even for a cozy mystery. The characters waffled between believable and engaging to flat caricatures that switched back and forth between regular language and slang that would have been more appropriate in a 1940's nor...a bad one.The story was interesting though the mystery started to get to muddied and in the end just fell apart and as usual in these books the experienced law men were all but useless while an armature sleuth solved it all.That said I still had fun reading it and I did enjoy the two main characters. Only for the fan of cheesy, fluffy cozy mysteries.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Very funny book! I liked this story so much better than Creeps Suzette. It actually made me want to read more of the Bed-and-Breakfast mysteries. It did seem very unlikely that the police would share so much of the investigation info with Judith and her cousin, though. This book made the police detectives seem very ineffectual.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5First book in a series. Set in the pacific northwest in a bed and breakfast. Extremely lame.The ambulance attendants determine a person has been poisoned rather than had a heart attack, though there are no symptoms, or anything lying around to deduce that from.The police sequester everyone in the B&B, because of the poisoning, but never check the food, or the liquor, or prevent the remaining guests and staff from eating and drinking. In fact the police join them in eating and drinking.The main character, the B&B owner, and her side kick cousin are busybodies. They are eavesdropping and sneaking around to listen in on their guests in person, and on the telephone, even before there is a murder. Ick.They have a cat that they hope gets killed, a smoking, cranky granny in a walker, and the guests are worse.This was a RL book group read and not a series I will be continuing with.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5When a murder is commited in her Bed and Breakfast, Judith McMonigle is horrified, stuck with some of the most unpleasant people in the town and reunited with her old flame, who left her with a packed suitcase for what was to be their elopement when he married someone else. Wealthy carpet-sweeper magnate Otto Brodie has descended upon Hillside Manor Inn for a family get-together, a little children baiting and perhaps to reveal the contents of his will. When the fortune teller Brodie hired drops dead at Judith's dinner table, the gloves come off and the skeletons come out of the closets. Judith ends up being instrumental in solving the case, because, as she tells her cousin Renie"People just like to talk to me."
Book preview
Just Desserts - Mary Daheim
ONE
JUDITH GROVER MCMONIGLE thrust the phone away from her ear a good two feet, knocked her coffee mug off the kitchen counter, and booted her cat, Sweetums, into the open cupboard under the sink. At the other end of the line, Oriana Bustamanti Brodie was covering every note of the scale, beseeching Judith to change her mind.
We’re fumigating,
Oriana wailed. Carpenter ants. It smells. It’s impossible. And Otto is counting on this weekend with the family!
A disheveled Sweetums was eyeing Judith with open hostility. His orange fur bore traces of chili beans and apple peel. Any other cat would have ignored revenge for the sake of cleanliness. In Judith’s opinion, Sweetums was as unnatural as he was filthy.
I’m sorry,
Judith said, for the third time, bringing the handset up to her mouth while she threw a dish towel onto the spilled coffee and began swirling it about with her foot. I’m booked, have been since November.
But you told me January wasn’t a busy month!
Oriana had launched into her full-throated Act Four, Scene Three voice.
It isn’t,
Judith agreed as Sweetums put a paw in the coffee, sniffed, and choked up a hairball. Only two of the four rooms are taken, but you’d need all of them for your…family, right?
Somehow, family
wasn’t a word she readily associated with Otto and Oriana Brodie; horde
sprang more easily to mind.
The sigh that heaved over the phone line possessed seismic force. Otto will be sooooo disappointed.
The mezzo-soprano voice that had mesmerized indiscriminating opera lovers in second-rate houses dropped several notches. We would have paid extra for the short notice.
Another time, maybe,
Judith said pleasantly, if firmly, and replaced the handset as Sweetums slipped out through his cat’s door into the back yard. As much as she hated turning guests away, Judith was relieved. The Brodies might be considered by many on Heraldsgate Hill to be prominent personages, given his wealth as a carpet-sweeper mogul and her fleeting fame in the music world. But Oriana’s demands conveyed a hint of desperation which put Judith off.
Not that she had either the time or the inclination to indulge in speculation on neighborhood eccentricities. Widowed for almost three years, she had hurled herself into establishing the family home as a bed-and-breakfast known as Hillside Manor. At the moment, she barely had time to finish mopping up the mess left by the coffee and Sweetums before her mother came thumping into the kitchen on her walker.
Where’s my Tums?
she demanded, giving the walker an extra whack for emphasis.
Up your nose,
muttered Judith, grateful that Gertrude Grover was nearly deaf as a post. More loudly she said, Try your housecoat pocket, left-hand side.
She checked the Caesar’s Palace coffee mug for cracks with one eye, while watching her mother with the other.
Damn,
breathed Gertrude, how’d they get there?
The telephone saved Judith from having to answer. It was Dorothy Dalgleish, calling from Pinetop Falls, a small logging community some fifty-five miles to the northeast.
"Oh, Mrs. McMonigle, I’m so sorry! wailed Dorothy Dalgleish.
We’re going to have to cancel this weekend. Homer is sick."
That’s a shame,
said Judith with feeling, though more for herself than the ailing Homer. I hope it’s nothing serious.
It’s always serious with Homer,
Dorothy responded with a touch of annoyance. "Bronchitis, this time. He will work out in the woods in the worst weather. But that’s the life of a gyppo logger. You’re on your own, with no big timber company behind you."
Judith could sympathize, at least with Homer’s private initiative. Tell him to take care. You, too. Mrs. Dalgleish.
"He will. We will, asserted Dorothy.
In fact, put us down for next weekend. If you can."
Judith could and did, filling Hillside for the first weekend of February. A glance at her reservation book gave her mixed pangs of satisfaction and apprehension. Since opening the B&B in May, she was already discovering a pattern to bookings: Weekends up through October were generally full; so were most weekdays during the summer. Business revived in mid-November, but dropped off dramatically after New Year’s. St. Valentine’s had been taken since early December, but there were a lot of blank spaces until April. Maybe she should add catering to her repertoire. Or try to book more wedding receptions. Perched as it was on the steep hill on a dead-end street, the big old house was ideal for romantic getaways and for visiting shoppers who didn’t want the hassle or expense of a downtown hotel. Tourists, however, had yet to beat down Judith’s door. Perhaps that would change if she could get listed in one of the national guidebooks. She’d made various contacts, from AAA to specialty publishing companies, but so far without any payoff. Patience, she told herself; patience—and the cultivation of a tough hide—had gotten her through eighteen years of marriage.
Where’s Mike?
Gertrude inquired, her pugnacious jaw thrust out above the gaudy green and red of her housecoat collar.
Judith was somewhat startled by the question. Her mother might be ornery, even absentminded, but she was hardly senile. Away at school,
she replied in a much less certain voice than she usually employed.
Of course he’s away at school,
growled Gertrude. What do you think I am, daffy?
She rummaged in her other pocket and pulled out a package of cigarettes. I meant, where is he at school? I thought he was off on some half-assed field trip.
Oh!
Judith ran a hand through her prematurely graying hair. Idaho, some place. Priest Lake?
She knew, of course, but momentarily went blank. As a forestry major, her only son had already been on several field trips which seemed to focus on how much beer could be sneaked into one’s backpack rather than how much knowledge could be crammed into one’s skull.
What are those damned fools doing at that university, teaching kids how to camp? No wonder education costs so much—they waste it on all those frills!
Gertrude plunked herself down in a captain’s chair at the kitchen table and lit a cigarette. And what’s he going to do when he gets out? Grow into Paul Bunyan?
The question emerged in a cloud of blue smoke.
Well, he’s already dating Babe, the Blue Ox,
Judith replied, recalling the Viking-like Kristin of Christmas past. A sports medicine major, Kristin had carried Judith’s eleven-foot unsheared Douglas fir into the house with one hand. It was no wonder Mike had described his girlfriend as awesome. I don’t know, Mother, I just hope he ends up doing something he likes. He’s got almost two more years, after all.
Seems like he’s been there for ten already,
rasped Gertrude as the phone rang again. Face it, kiddo, he could turn out like his father. The closest Dan McMonigle ever got to work was when you put his ashes out in the toolshed.
With a baleful glance for her mother, Judith answered the phone in her professionally charming manner. The voice at the other end went on nonstop for three minutes, signing off in a flood of tears. Judith sighed and put the phone down. The Hunicutts,
she said. Their second honeymoon turned into a trial separation. Damn.
Wiped out, huh?
Gertrude stabbed her cigarette into an ashtray made out of a clamshell. Sweetums reentered the kitchen, growling menacingly at Judith as he made for his food dish just inside the pantry door.
January is thin,
said Judith, slamming the reservation book shut. I wish I were.
She gave her blue jogging-suited figure a disparaging glance, though in fact, she was a tall woman who could have easily carried another ten pounds without much detriment. Her hand strayed to a pile of bills in an English biscuit box. Christmas seems like six months ago instead of barely one, except for paying for it.
Gertrude was unwrapping a fresh batch of Tums. I thought you were going to close up for two weeks this month anyway and wallpaper the living room. Why don’t you get off your butt and do it now that you’ve got the chance?
Watching Sweetums lick his chops after polishing off his cat tuna, Judith eyed the packages of wallpaper that reposed in the back entryway. I could. Or,
she went on grimly, feeling not unlike Marie Antoinette heading for the guillotine, I could call Oriana Brodie.
I could call that fathead a lot of things, but she wouldn’t much like most of ’em,
said Gertrude, chomping on her Tums.
Judith acknowledged her mother’s remark with a vague gesture, then opened the phone book. I wonder why they moved back here from Palm Springs in the first place,
she murmured. I would have thought Oriana would have preferred something more posh than Heraldsgate Hill.
Otto. The old fart always had a sentimental streak, according to your father, rest his soul.
She waved a hand in a haphazard sign of the cross on her forehead. Otto used to cry like a baby in poetry class, especially when they read Rupert-What’s-His-Name.
Brooke,
supplied Judith, waiting for the phone to be answered at the Brodie residence four blocks away in distance, but a world apart in hard cash.
A breathless Oriana gulped her hello, explaining that she had been on her way between the main body of the house and the guest quarters over the triple garage. It’s the only part not being fumigated,
she said. Oh, my lungs! I shall have to give up practice this afternoon.
Judith was tempted to suggest that Oriana simply give up, period, but instead conveyed her message with forced enthusiasm.
But how fortunate!
cried Oriana. Otto will be ecstatic!
Ecstasy as embodied by the porcine Otto Brodie struck Judith as a vision of Porky Pig hoofing madly away on his stout little trotters. To Oriana, she merely expressed pleasure and asked if any members of the party suffered from allergies. During the first month of her tenure as mistress of Hillside Manor, a superior court judge had been hauled away in an ambulance after eating crab dip. Judith had suspected that her son had substituted Sweetums’s cat tuna, but discovered later that the judge had a violent seafood allergy and that his wife was furious with him for not inquiring as to the ingredients in Hillside’s hors d’oeuvres. Since then, Judith had been careful about her guests’ dietary eccentricities, feeling that the screeching arrival of aid cars and emergency vehicles might give Hillside a bad name.
Allergies,
mused Oriana, sounding not unlike Tosca mulling over the choice between surrendering to Baron Scarpia and jumping out the window of the Farnese Palace. Otto has sinus, but mostly from dust and pollen. As for the others, I think not…but you must remember I haven’t been stepmother to Otto’s brood for all that long. Of course, Harvey is a doctor. As for the fortune-teller, she won’t be dining with us except perhaps for dessert.
Fortune-teller? Dessert?
Judith grimaced into the phone. Actually, I do breakfast, not dinner…
…promptly at seven-thirty, or Otto gets…unruly. And Harvey sulks, while Lance tends to wander off. Mentally, that is, and Guinevere is never on time unless you absolutely insist on punctuality for meals.
Oriana had interrupted like an orchestra conductor giving instructions to a slightly dim-witted lead singer. Judith’s protests died aborning.
Facing a hopeless task, she decided to take advantage of what appeared to be a good thing. Roast beef is ten dollars a plate, salmon eight dollars, and chicken, ah, seven-fifty. I only do one entree per party. Which will it be?
she asked cheerfully. If Oriana expected dinner as well as breakfast, she’d damn well pay for it.
There was a pause at the other end. We pay for the roast beef or salmon or chicken? I didn’t realize…
A deep masculine voice rumbled in the background. Roast beef,
Oriana said quickly. Cream puffs for dessert, if you will, and do make one for the fortune-teller.
The phone clicked in Judith’s ear.
Cream puffs?
Judith shrieked into the handset. I should have told her they’d cost another two-fifty each!
Cream puff, my foot,
muttered Gertrude, lighting up another cigarette while Sweetums preened against her baggy stockings. Otto’s no cream puff, he’s one tough customer. When he isn’t bawling, that is. Hey!
She grabbed the walker and swung it at Sweetums. Beat it, you mangy little fleabag!
Sweetums pounced; Gertrude retaliated with the rubber-tipped leg of the walker. Cat and contraption became an orange and silver blur.
Judith ignored the encounter; she was busy counting china. My service for twelve has dwindled to eight,
she said, more to herself than to her mother, who was still wrestling with Sweetums and the walker. I wonder if the fortune-teller knows where to find odd lots of Wedgwood’s Pembroke pattern?
Odd lots is right,
her mother snorted as the war with Sweetums wound down to its inevitable conclusion. After Gertrude whacked the walker against the wall, an ear-shattering screech ensued. Sweetums abandoned the field and fled into the dining room, leaving behind a trail of fur. Lots of odd ones in that Brodie family,
remarked Gertrude, panting a little. I’d search ’em before they left come Saturday noon.
Disinclined to argue, Judith looked at the art deco calendar on the refrigerator. It was Thursday; Saturday suddenly seemed far away. The house would be empty tonight, tomorrow would be taken up with grocery shopping and fixing the impromptu dinner. Judith’s logical mind toted up the price tag to feed the brood of Brodies, plus a fortune-teller for dessert: A rib roast for eight would probably cost over fifty dollars, plus potatoes, vegetables, bread, and condiments. Maybe they’d expect liquor, too. It was possible that the impulsive figure she’d given Oriana was going to backfire. Especially with the cream puffs.
What’s the matter?
demanded Gertrude, seeing her daughter’s worried expression. Screw yourself again?
Judith uttered a truncated laugh. Well, nobody else has offered.
Watch your mouth,
snapped Gertrude, leaning on the walker and getting to her feet. What kind of a girl have I raised?
With a show of indignation, she clumped out of the kitchen toward the back stairs. Besides, if you’re talking about romance,
she rasped over her shoulder, there’s always that damned cat.
TWO
JUDITH HAD TO give the Brodie family their due: They arrived promptly though almost simultaneously at six-thirty p.m. Friday night, sporting luggage with various designer labels, the rain blowing in behind them. Judith’s regular cleaning woman-cum-laundress, Phyliss Rackley, had called in sick. But a last-minute crisis had been averted when, as if in answer to a prayer, good old Cousin Renie had phoned not two minutes later, announcing that she had made the deadline for her annual report design, her husband had gone to a creative dream seminar for the weekend, the kids were away, and she was going to put her feet up and watch Brides-head Revisited on video, eat microwave popcorn, and drink six gallons of Pepsi. Judith demolished her cousin’s own creative dream in ten seconds by asking her to fill in for Phyliss.
Who are all these goofy people?
Renie demanded when she peeked out through the swinging kitchen door into the dining room between tosses of romaine lettuce.
Judith explained even as she tested the rib roast and started the gravy. Otto Brodie lives over on the Bluff, in that big old stone house with the topiary animal shrubs. He made his fortune in bombs during World War II, and then cleaned up—so to speak—with carpet sweepers. He’s retired now, and that’s his second wife, Oriana, who
—she paused long enough to grab the peppermill, grind it too fast, and sneeze—was once an opera singer of some renown if little talent. Otto’s two kids—if that’s how to describe the Hulk and the Bulk—are Lancelot and Guinevere, his first wife, Minnie, being into King Arthur.
Aha! The house with the blue baggie over it. Fumigating, which is why they’re here, instead of there.
Renie diced the tomatoes with verve. Lance played pro football and Gwen writes dirty books, right?
She saw Judith nod from behind her Kleenex. Don’t blow your nose in the gravy, coz, it looks bad in the tour books. Gwen’s been married about ten times and Lance’s wife does something on TV. If I ever watched anything but PBS and sports, I’d know what it was. Lance I remember. He played wide receiver for the old Hollywood Stars and retired early with a bum knee or something. Out-of-Bounds Brodie, he was called, because he always ran for the sidelines.
No wonder the Stars went kaput,
commented Judith, smoothing out the lumps in the gravy with a wooden spoon. Mrs. Out-of-Bounds, otherwise known as Mavis Lean-Brodie, is the anchor for KINE but is on vacation this week.
That accounts for the brittle but sincere façade,
said Renie, examining a cucumber. I knew I’d seen her, but I thought she was the demo lady at Falstaff’s Market.
Judith ignored her cousin’s ignorance of the local media. The little weasel is Otto’s nephew, and he may look like an idiot but he’s actually Harvey Carver, a big-shot surgeon at Norway General. His wife is the original Mrs. Do-Good, can’t think of her first name, Nellie or Tilly or something like that. Check your PBS donation list.
I did. They misspelled our name. How the hell can you screw up Jones? Bill says it was a subconscious effort to fulfill his need for anonymous charity.
Bill is full of crap,
said Judith, though not without affection. I’d like to see him psychoanalyze this crew. I don’t know why, but they make me nervous. I should have wallpapered instead.
Renie leaned against the door, taking another peek at the assembled guests who had, to Judith’s immense relief, brought their own liquor supply. Indeed, Otto appeared to be well on his way to what Oriana had delicately referred to as unruly.
Lance looked vaguely cross-eyed, or perhaps merely vague. Mavis was regarding her husband with benevolent disapproval, while Gwen twittered at her cousin Harvey in a voice that could only be described as jarring.
Who’s the dark-haired guy in the cheap suit?
Renie whispered, letting the door close discreetly.
That’s a very expensive suit, made cheap only by the wearer, whose arrival, I must say, certainly disconcerted both Mrs. Brodies and Mrs. Carver,
replied Judith, leaving the gravy long enough to test the potatoes. I take it they had not met him before and were expecting someone—or something—else. The ascot’s a bit much, as is his name, Felix ‘Dash’ Subarosa, and he’s Guinevere’s current whatever. They’re, er, engaged.
Really.
Renie exchanged raised eyebrows with Judith. Cute. Are they ready for the salad, or shall we turn them out in the back yard so they can graze?
Mother’s already out there setting the cat on fire.
She poured some of the potato water into the gravy and stirred like mad. Actually, Mother is over at the Rankers’s for the evening. They’re watching old Nazi movies. You know how worked up Mother gets over Goebbels.
My mother still thinks his first name was George. Do the Rankers still fight like heavyweight champs?
Judith scraped the sides of the of the gravy pan. Not since the kids moved out. They haven’t had a TKO since both of them threw Carl Jr. out the upstairs window.
She sampled the gravy and nodded. Not bad, just a bit thin.
I think the Rankers are fun,
said Renie, giving the lettuce one last toss, not to mention good-hearted. Okay, let’s do the honors with the salad. Whatever happened to the rest of your Wedgwood? You’re down to eight in just about everything except the dessert plates.
Dan used to throw them at me,
Judith replied without rancor. Except for the soup tureen, which he threw at the TV set, missed, and sent through our picture window in the house on Thurlow Street.
I always told you it was a rotten neighborhood,
said Renie, as Judith began bearing salad plates out of the kitchen. I’m so glad you’re back on Heraldsgate Hill. You’ve got to admit it’s a lot more peaceful up here.
So far,
Judith noted dryly, and wondered why the words stuck in her throat. Shrugging off the uncharacteristic sense of doom, she stepped into the dining room and immediately felt the old house wrap its arms around her.
Oak, darkened by age and numerous applications of varnish, lent the first floor of the house a sense of dignity. A small bay window curved out at one end of the room, though its view was limited to the Rankers’s living room, where the drapes were now tightly drawn. An authentic Venetian chandelier hung from the ceiling over the oval table, and a breakfront crammed with four generations of bric-a-brac took up most of the wall opposite the kitchen door. The room opened up into the large living room at one end, and another, smaller door led into the entry hall, which housed a former coat closet converted by Judith into a half bath. A red azalea sat in the middle of the table, and two cyclamen plants, one white, one pink, reposed at either end of an oak and marble washstand that Judith used for bar service. The table linen was from Ireland, the crystal from Italy, the sterling an English heirloom from Grandmother Grover. As always, Judith felt a sudden rush of pride at her creation. All those risks she’d taken might still pay off. The old house had required a lot of work and it needed even more, yet she had managed by dint of a bank loan and her own labor to turn Hillside Manor into a cozy retreat. Indeed, it was more than that, though Judith herself could not have identified the intangible quality of hospitality that was due not so much to creature comforts as to her own innate knack with people.
Feast time,
she announced breezily, setting the salads down at each place. It’s a real treat for me to host a sitdown dinner for a change, especially for hometown folks.
The lie was glib, the smile convincing. Rolls coming up. Here,
she urged, tapping the back of the Jacobean chair at the head of the table, Mr. Brodie, this is your place, with your daughter-in-law on your right and Mrs. Carver on your left. Mrs. Brodie, you have the honor of sitting at the other end of the table, then Dr. Carver and your stepson, and we’ll put Mrs., uh, er
—she faltered, not immediately recalling Guinevere’s present married name—Tweeks in the middle on this side, and Mr. Subarosa directly across, between Mrs. Lean-Brodie and the doctor. All right?
It seemed all right to Mavis, Dr. and Mrs. Carver, Guinevere, Oriana, and even Dash, who, Judith noted, was not wearing socks despite the chilly January weather. Lance, however, looked uncertain until he got his cue from Mavis. As for Otto, he was staunchly clinging to a bottle of scotch and grinning lewdly at his hostess. Judith thought his hazel eyes weren’t as unfocused as they should be, considering his apparent state of semi-stupor.
Hey, I’ll take my seat, but I’d rather have yours!
he chuckled, making a pass at Judith’s backside with his free hand. How about sitting on my lap? Isn’t true you’re the hostess with the mostes’?
Absolutely,
replied Judith, deftly stepping out of Otto’s reach, but bestowing a dazzling smile on the lecherous carpet-sweeper king. Experience had taught her that fast feet were as important in her business as a quick mind. The mostest being dinner, most of which is still in the kitchen.
She glanced at Oriana, whose full lips were pursed with practiced disdain. It was Guinevere, however, who hurtled to the rescue.
Come on, Daddy,
she said in a soothing voice, wrenching the bottle away and steering him into his chair. Guinevere was a big woman, taller than Judith and built along more Amazonian lines. In her early forties, she still exuded girlishness despite her size, and would have been pretty except for the garish makeup and overdone wool jersey jumpsuit trimmed with mink. You mustn’t keep us in suspense! We’re all so excited to hear what the fortune-teller is going to say about our futures!
About your inheritances, you mean,
growled Otto, finally sitting down with a large plop. Completely bald, he looked considerably