Another Eternity

Prologue

I feel a pressure in my head like none I’ve ever felt before. My eyes have gone crazy, and I’m seeing the scene unfolding before me in stark, psychedelic relief. The squeezing becomes more and more rhythmic, and my vision suddenly tunnels. My heart starts to race as the scenes from my heretofore idyllic life play out in front of me, as if they were holograms. I’m confused, and begin to panic in serious fashion. What on Earth is going on?

I make eye contact with my friend, who seems to look right through me. A guttural cry pierces the air. Is that unnerving sound coming from me? I try to take a deep breath, but it’s not happening. I hear panting, but it’s not coming from me. I hear someone say, She’s almost here! WHO is almost here? Can anyone hear me? WHO IS ALMOST HERE?

Suddenly, everything’s gone. Everything’s gone except for the tunnel and the squeezing. There are no thoughts in my head. There is nothing.

And then, just as suddenly as there was nothing, there is SOMETHING. There is brightness, and crying, and a pair of strange hands touching me all over. My perspective is warped. There is a man dressed in strange papery clothes, who seems huge, looming over me. He sticks something in my mouth and squeezes it, making me gurgle and begin to cry.

"Hi, little one. Welcome to the world! Come meet your mommy!" he says softly. My mommy? What in the hell is going on? I’m confused by all of the activity. A nurse pops something on my head and wraps me in something soft and warm, then hands me to a tall, handsome man.

Time seems to stand still again as I watch the ceiling above me, blinking in my confusion. And then, there she is… my best friend. Oh, there you are, angel, she whispers.

Chapter 1

The alarm buzzed loudly from the headboard of their glorious feather bed, where they were nestled tightly together. She reached over her husband to turn the annoyance off and threw back the covers in one swift motion.

No!! Will objected. Ten more minutes, Leigh! It’s too cold to face the morning yet! He jerked the heavy hand-sewn quilt back over the two of them, entrapping her in his warm embrace.

Will, I have to get up! I have to get the girls ready for the first day of school! And what do you mean by cold? I’d bet you anything it’s already 80 degrees outside! This is Texas, not New York! She shoved him away good-naturedly and quickly escaped his grasp.

Leigh walked to the girls’ suite, thusly named because of its massive size for two children of only 5 and 7. Fully expecting the need of a crowbar to pry them out of their beds on this first day of the new school year, she swung the door open and prepared to regale her daughters with her grandmother’s famously off-key Good Morning to You. Shockingly, however, Juliana, the anxious kindergartener, was sitting at their desk, fully dressed and scribbling furiously on a sheet of paper with a purple crayon.

Good morning, precious girl! What are you doing up so early? Leigh brushed the curls away from Juliana’s face and gave her a quick kiss on the forehead.

Juliana’s expression was priceless: her brow was furrowed in a manner that reminded Leigh of her own mother’s serious face… the look she saw frequently as a teenager when she was late for curfew. She tried with only mild success to keep the smile off of her face while her youngest daughter began to speak.

Mommy, she said in a very grown-up tone, I had to get up early so I could write you a list of things to do today.

Leigh guffawed internally. What on Earth do you have on the list, sweetheart? Mommy will be very busy today, just like always!

Juliana thrust the paper at her mother. On it was a drawing of the house, with flowers in the front beds, what Leigh assumed was a gleaming, clean vehicle in the driveway, a dog frolicking in the yard, and smoke curling from the chimney. "Daddy said that you will be very sad that I am starting kindergarten and the house will be empty. You shouldn’t be sad, because I have to go to kindergarten. It’s the rules. So you should work on those atrocious flower beds, wash the van, and buy me a dog."

Leigh giggled again, which made Juliana frown. Leigh kissed her forehead and said, "Sweetheart, first of all, you sound as if you are starting college, using words like atrocious. I have a full day scheduled as it is, including washing the van, so the flower beds will just have to wait… and we have discussed the dog issue! Nice try, though! Now, let’s wake up your sister and go downstairs for breakfast. It’s kindergartner’s choice today!"

Chocolate chip pancakes!!!!!!! Juliana proclaimed, and tore out of the bedroom door at a sprinter’s pace. Leigh smiled as she walked to Reagan’s side of the suite. Her daughters’ shared room was just like her dorm suite in college with two bedrooms at each end and a common area joining them. She slid the pocket door into the wall and found her oldest child sitting on the edge of her bed, also fully clothed, reading a book.

"My goodness! What has gotten into my children today? How long have you been awake, doodle bug?"

Reagan placed her book neatly on her bedside table, marking her place with a braided bracelet she’d made at her day camp during the summer, and looked up at her mother with a bored expression. Jules wouldn’t let me sleep. I had to help her with her buttons, anyway, so I just decided to get dressed myself.

Leigh assessed her daughter’s pleated skirt and even sock cuffs. Why couldn’t your father have your organizational skills and attention for details, hmmm? Reagan smiled proudly. She was very particular, but it had always worked out to her advantage, especially if it was noticed by her equally-organized but very busy mother!

Thanks, Mommy. I heard Jules say chocolate chip pancakes. Can I help with breakfast?

Sure thing, sweet pea! I have an extra apron you can wear to keep those pretty new clothes clean. We’d better get hopping! The Baker bus leaves in less than an hour!

Leigh went back into the master bedroom to get dressed quickly for the day. Will was already up, freshly showered and shaven. I tried to wait for you, Love-Leigh, but I thought perhaps the kids had already captured your attention for the day.

She walked up to her husband, got on her tip-toes, and planted a wet kiss on his lips. "I’m sorry, honey, but those girls constantly astound me. They were both fully clothed, just waiting for me to come tell them it was time for breakfast! Juliana was drawing me a diagram as to what I could do to stay busy enough not to miss her, including doing something with the atrocious flower beds and buying her a dog!" Will laughed loudly as he slipped on his signature pair of blue jeans and khaki shirt with his company logo over the left breast pocket.

We can never say we didn’t put enough sass in those little ladies, can we? he mused. Leigh shook her head, slipping into a comfortable yet stylish sheath dress and threw a light cardigan over her arms. She dabbed a bit of her favorite perfume behind her ears and applied deodorant, then braided her long honey-colored hair and assessed her reflection in the old-fashioned mirror.

Will came up behind her, wrapping her up in his arms. "You don’t look old enough to have a kindergartener, much less a kindergartener and a second grader!" She spun around and planted a kiss on him.

This is why I stay married to you, William Baker… you flatter me! Pancake time! The couple walked hand-in-hand down the old farmhouse’s staircase and entered the kitchen. Reagan had the apron neatly tied around her neck and waist, while Juliana colored at the breakfast bar.

Good morning, my lovelies! Will bellowed. Who’s making me pancakes?

Reagan jumped up and down, screaming, Me, Daddy! Me and Mommy are making chocolate chip ones! Will grabbed her up in his arms and swung her playfully around the kitchen. She squealed in delight.

Leigh paused a moment, watching her family romp playfully about the kitchen. This is really what it’s all about, Leigh thought to herself. My life is complete.

Will placed a hand on her shoulder, shocking her out of her reverie. Well, what are we waiting for, Mommy? Let’s get crackin’ on them pancakes!

Chapter 2

Leigh drove into a visitor’s parking space at the elementary school. This is it, girls! First day of school is officially under way! She unbuckled her seat belt, grabbed the digital camera from the console, and bounded out of the car. Let’s hit it!

Juliana hopped out of her booster seat and put her Barbie backpack on her shoulders, excited to get started. Reagan slid the van’s door open and helped her sister step down onto the pavement. Leigh watched as her eldest adjusted her little sister’s hair band and straightened her collar. There, she said quietly. You’re all set for your first day of kindergarten now!

Leigh bent down to kiss both of their cheeks. I am so proud of you both! You look amazing, and I know today will be a great one! Juliana’s boundless excitement was making her twitch in anticipation. Leigh choked back her own tears of pride and shock. Was it possible that her baby was in kindergarten???

She sniffled, but quickly straightened herself up. Okay, girls. A quick picture in front of the school’s front doors and we’re on our way! The girls leapt into action, holding hands as they skipped to the entrance. They posed like professionals as Leigh flipped the camera’s viewfinder open.

On the count of 3, she instructed. One, two, three! The girls’ image immediately popped up on the screen, showing two little blond-haired beauties, beaming from ear to ear.

It’s a framer! she said. Okay! Let’s get you to your classes!

Juliana froze in horror. Mom, I know where to go. You go home. You have things to do today!

Leigh couldn’t stop the tears from springing forth then. It was her worst nightmare come to life… her babies didn’t need her anymore! Not even a quick look at your classroom? I’d like to get a picture of you at your desk for the scrapbook!

Juliana shook her head adamantly. No, Mommy. It’s okay. You go home. I’ll let you take a picture of me in my classroom some other time.

She spun on her heel and took off down the kindergarten hallway. It certainly looked like she knew where she was going, and they had visited the classroom a few days prior at Meet the Teacher night. Leigh stood stoically, blinking back the tears that just wouldn’t seem to stop. Suddenly, she felt a touch on her hand. She startled, looking down to see Reagan looking up at her with great concern.

Leigh smiled. I’m okay, honey. Just a teensy bit of what the professionals like to call ‘empty nest syndrome,’ and perhaps an ounce or two of shock. Reagan let the breath she’d been holding out in a rush.

Thank God, Mom, I thought you’d had a stroke! Gotta go! She planted a wet kiss on Leigh’s cheek and took off down the hallway herself.

Leigh collected herself and went back to the van. As she adjusted her seatbelt, she glanced in the rearview mirror at the empty seats in the back. The minivan had never felt so vacuous. She backed out of her parking space and joined the line of cars inching forward slowly, leaving the school’s parking lot.

Dialing Will’s mobile number on her cell, she took a deep, shaky breath. Hey, babe! I suppose you have the Princess Patrol deposited at school? She nodded, momentarily forgetting that she was on the phone with him, not face-to-face.

Honey? he asked, concern mounting in his voice. Are you there? Are you okay?

Oh, gosh, sweetie, I’m sorry. Juliana just basically told me she didn’t need me anymore. I can’t believe our baby is so grown up now! Suddenly, she couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. She sobbed openly into the phone.

Leigh? Do I need to come get you? Are you okay? The concern in his voice was almost as overwhelming to her as her daughter’s newfound independence.

No, no… I’m okay. I just need a moment to collect myself. I have a million things to do today, not the least of which is my yearly exam! Her appointment was scheduled for later in the morning, and she wanted to get there early, hopefully to be seen prior to her appointment time. She hated going to the gynecologist’s office. She hated seeing all of the pregnant women, knowing that she and Will hadn’t been able to conceive that wished-for third child for whatever unknown reasons. They had silently agreed that if God didn’t grant them a child in His own time, they wouldn’t seek fertility treatments or undergo any of the numerous procedures that might end in pregnancy. They simply didn’t have the funds for that sort of thing, and refused to go into debt, or raid their daughters’ college funds, for something that might not be successful in the end.

Will’s voice muffled as he talked to one of his employees for a moment, then came back on the line. Do I need to come with you?

Absolutely not… it sounds like you’ve got a busy day ahead of you as well. I am fine. I’ll call you after the appointment! I know you’ll want all the details of the life and times of my girlie bits! Will chuckled.

You know it, doll face. If I can’t be there, I insist upon a play-by-play! I love you. Talk to you soon.

She smiled into the phone. I love you, too. Bye. She plugged her phone into the charger, and cranked up the radio. Since the girls weren’t in the car to protest her choice of music, James Taylor’s soothing tones blared out of the speakers.

Ah, yes… Jimmy T., you calm me! She finally pulled free of the school’s long line of slow-moving traffic and made her way to the doctor’s office.

As she pulled into the parking lot of the OB/GYN clinic, a very pregnant woman was hauling herself out of a car that looked far too small for her rapidly-expanding girth. Leigh bounded out of her car and raced to help the poor woman out of the sitting position.

Oh my God, you are a lifesaver! the woman exclaimed. The one appointment my husband can’t attend and I’m trapped in the Civic like a beached damned whale!

Leigh grabbed the woman’s arm and helped lift her to standing. It’s no problem. I remember these days like they were yesterday! She reached into the woman’s car and retrieved her bag, slinging it familiarly over the woman’s shoulder. Here you go!

The mom-to-be breathed deeply, trying not to show how exerted she was from the excavation. I am so ready for this part to be over. I miss my feet! I have great ones, and I can’t even see them to enjoy it!

Leigh laughed heartily. Be careful what you wish for. They might not look even remotely like you remember them once this is all done! My feet widened with each pregnancy! Now I have to shop in the ‘extended sizes’ section of the shoe store! She extended her hand to the young woman. I’m Leigh Baker.

The woman shook Leigh’s hand warmly and replied, Kate… Kate Parker. The women walked into the office together, chatting amiably the whole way. As they signed in, the receptionist glanced at the sheet quickly.

Ah, both of you are here to see Dr. Teems. He is at the hospital performing an emergent c-section, but called moments ago to say he’d be here within the hour. Would you like to wait, or reschedule?

Leigh frowned… her worst nightmare: arriving early hoping to be seen early, but trapped nonetheless! I have nothing better to do. My babies started school today, so I might as well wait.

Kate placed a swollen hand on her equally swollen abdomen. It’d take me an hour to put myself back in the car, so I might as well stay here, too.

The receptionist smiled warmly at the women. Have a seat then, ladies. We’ll get you in as soon as we can!

Leigh helped Kate sit in one of the more comfortable chairs in the waiting area and shoved an ottoman under her feet. Ah, Leigh, where in the world have you been all my life? She grabbed a magazine and began to fan herself. I wanted to get pregnant and have the baby in the spring, so I wouldn’t have to contend with this Texas heat… but dammit all if I didn’t make sure I had the hardest months of pregnancy in the hottest part of the year!

Leigh laughed. I did the same thing. All our planning went out the window when we conceived our first by accident!

First? Kate asked. You mean you’ve done this more than once? You are a goddess among women!

Leigh pulled her wallet out of her bag, flipping to the most recent photo of Juliana and Reagan. This is my oldest, Reagan. She’s 7 going on 40. And then here is my sweet Juliana, who started kindergarten today. She’s 5.

Kate sucked in her breath. They are gorgeous, Leigh! A couple of real beauties! She patted her baby bump and said, I hope this little angel is as pretty as they are. It’s not easy being an ugly girl in this day and age!

Kate! Leigh exclaimed. "Are you implying that you are ugly? No way! And if you’re implying your child might come out ugly, you should be ashamed of yourself!" She giggled loudly.

Hey, I’m a realist, Leigh. I’ve seen some ugly babies in my day, and I’m just saying… I hope my child isn’t one of them! Kate laughed as she spoke, her pregnant belly jiggling like Santa’s.

Leigh replaced her wallet. Just be glad you’re blessed with a pregnancy. We wanted another one, but it just hasn’t happened.

What is wrong? Are you here for fertility help?

Nope, Leigh answered. We decided if it didn’t happen naturally, it just wasn’t meant to happen at all. I’m here for my yearly.

Ah yes, Kate exclaimed. The Great Spelunking Expedition! Gotta love it! Leigh rolled with laughter.

You are a woman after my husband’s heart. He makes thousands of crude jokes about visits like these. He insists that I call him afterward to give him all the raunchy details. He’s deranged.

Kate nodded knowingly. "Yes, my husband is the same way. He’s far too into this whole womanly thing. I told him if he likes it so much, he can have the next one."

So your baby is a girl? Leigh inquired. Kate nodded.

Much to Grant’s dismay. He was so looking forward to having a boy. Soccer and football and hunting and all that testosterone-induced crap.

Leigh shook her head. Men. They’re all the same. Will wanted boys, too, ‘til Reagan came out minus the essential parts. It took two seconds, Kate. Two seconds for her to have him wrapped around her tiny little finger. Don’t worry about it at all!

"Oh, I’m not worried about it. He’s really getting into it now that we’re so close. He’s ceremoniously placed the pellet gun behind the front door to ward off all the boys, you know. He won’t agree to any of my names, though! He doesn’t have anything meaningful to suggest for a name, but he certainly poo-poos on all my suggestions!"

What do you have in mind? Leigh asked.

Nothing off the wall! I love the name Abigail, but he says it sounds too ‘First Lady.’ ‘No daughter of mine will be First Lady. She’ll be PRESIDENT!’ She rolled her eyes. Then I thought of Madison, but THAT one is ‘too popular.’ Allie is ‘too cutesy,’ Casey is ‘too generic,’ and Hannah is ‘too old.’

Leigh stroked her chin thoughtfully. Wow. So he’s picky. That’s never good!

Kate nodded dramatically. You’re telling me. I’ve given up. I figure, once we see her, a name will pop into our brains. And if not? She can be called Infant Girl Parker. It’s starting to have a great ring to it!

The women laughed loudly, tears streaming down their faces. Oooh, I better stop. I woke Infant Girl up with all this and she’s kicking me in the bladder! Can you help me up? I need to go pee! Leigh jumped up and helped get Kate on her feet.

Leigh flipped through a random magazine as she waited for Kate to return from the restroom. She’d never had such fun with a perfect stranger. She knew her new friend would be a fantastic mother. With that sense of humor, who wouldn’t be? Her daughter would be a lucky, lucky girl.

Kate waddled back to the waiting room and flopped into the cushy chair again. Ahhhh. Because I feel like I’ve known you all my life, I think I can say this without too much embarrassment. But that was an AWESOME piss.

Leigh blushed deeply and laughed. Wow, Kate. I was just sitting here saying your daughter would be so lucky to have you for a mother, but now that I hear you sounding like a sailor, I’m not so sure anymore! She winked at the pregnant woman.

Ah, hell, Leigh. You have no idea. I’m on my best behavior right now! I’ve never met anyone quite like you, who laughs at all my jokes! She adjusted her shirt, which had ridden up to expose the elastic tummy panel in her maternity shorts.

Leigh smiled warmly at the young woman. You are a delight, and I’m so glad I drove up on your ‘situation’ this morning. I really needed this laughter today!

I’m glad you drove up on my ‘situation,’ too, or they might’ve had to call a crane! The woman laughed jovially as the receptionist called for Kate.

Lucky! Leigh called out.

Kate called over her shoulder, I need your phone number! We can’t let this be goodbye!

I wouldn’t dream of this being goodbye, Kate! I’ll leave my number with the receptionist if I don’t see you before you leave, okay? Leigh reached into her bag and pulled out a pad of paper. See? I’m writing it down right now!

Kate’s voice could be heard as the door to the hallway closed, Good! Later, Leigh!

Yes, see you later! Leigh replied.

Chapter 3

As Leigh redressed after her examination, the doctor knocked on the door softly. Leigh? Care to join me in my office across the hall? It’s more comfortable in there.

Sure, Dr. Teems. Be right there! She quickly gathered her bag and cardigan, slipped into her shoes, and stepped into the hallway. Soothing lullaby music was being piped into the hall via speakers recessed into the ceiling. She entered his office and closed the door behind her. I swear, Doc. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were trying to lull us all to sleep with that music out there!

Dr. Teems grinned sheepishly. "Gosh, you’re onto me! If you’re all asleep, perhaps I could take a nap, too! No rest for the weary OB/GYN, you know! He opened Leigh’s rather thick medical record and folded his hands on top of it. Now, let’s get down to business."

Leigh sat in one of the high-back leather chairs across from the good doctor’s desk and folded her own hands on top of her purse. What’s the matter? Am I dying?

Dr. Teems’ mouth gaped open. Leigh! Why do you think you’re dying? I wouldn’t beat around the bush with you like this if I thought you were dying. I hate that! It’s so… impersonal!

Leigh let out a huge sigh of relief. Thank you, Doc. I appreciate that. I’ve always hated coming to this office for that reason. I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop! My life is far too perfect, you know!

The doctor smiled, clearly relieved with her response. The news that he was about to deliver to her wasn’t what she wanted to hear, and he hated that for his friend. After all these years of caring for her reproductive health, he had come to think of her and of Will as just that… friends.

You are not dying, but the news I have to give you isn’t necessarily the best news either. His somber expression made Leigh’s heart race in anticipation and fear.

What? What is it? Her hands started to tremble, and she didn’t try to stop them from doing so.

"Leigh, I’m afraid you might not be able to conceive ever again. I know you and Will would like another child, but you have been trying for five years now. Since you have decided not to undergo the fertility testing and treatments, we’ve hit a brick wall here. You might have issues with your ovaries. Your fallopian tubes might be blocked. You might have a mild case of endometriosis preventing the lining of your uterus from building up enough to support a pregnancy. Given the fact that you still have a monthly cycle and don’t have symptoms of other conditions such as PCOS, I’m just thinking your body has said, ‘Enough,’ and won’t produce another pregnancy. I’m not saying it’s not possible to have another baby, but I’m just pouring all of my years of experience into this assumption. I don’t want you to spend the next 5 years of your life wondering why it’s still not happening. Does that make sense?"

Leigh took a deep breath, taking in the doctor’s words. It was exactly as she had feared, but hadn’t she and Will already come to peace with this exact situation? They’d given it up to God, and