Finding Your Favorite Calvin and Hobbes Comic Strips
By Steve Kurtz
5/5
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About this ebook
Have you ever found yourself remembering a favorite Calvin and Hobbes comic strip and wanting to see it again? Or have you ever wanted to read all the Tracer Bullet or Spaceman Spiff comic strips? Well, this is the book you need. This book contains a detailed description of all the Calvin and Hobbes comic strips. The description includes the original print date of the strip, characters and words used in the strip, along with a reference to which of the Calvin and Hobbes collection books that strip can be found in. Search for the strips you want to read, check the bibliography to see which books the strips are in, and once again enjoy one of the best comic strips ever published.
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Finding Your Favorite Calvin and Hobbes Comic Strips - Steve Kurtz
Finding Your Favorite Calvin and Hobbes Comic Strips
Published by Steve Kurtz at Smashwords
Copyright 2010 Steve Kurtz
Smashwords Edition, License Notes
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
Table of Contents
Chapter 1 - Introduction
Chapter 2 - How To Use This Guide
Chapter 3 - 1985
Chapter 4 - 1986
Chapter 5 - 1987
Chapter 6 - 1988
Chapter 7 - 1989
Chapter 8 - 1990
Chapter 9 - 1991
Chapter 10 - 1992
Chapter 11 - 1993
Chapter 12 - 1994
Chapter 13 - 1995
Chapter 14 - Bibliography
Introduction
My first knowledge of Calvin and Hobbes came from my brother, Mark. He had recently graduated college and had come to stay with me while looking for employment. Mark asked me one day whether I read the Calvin and Hobbes comic strip. Up until then, I hadn’t.
At first, I couldn’t figure it out. I was confused by whether Hobbes was a toy tiger, a real tiger, or both. It’s the same issue mentioned by the comic strip artist, Bill Watterson, in The Calvin and Hobbes Tenth Anniversary Book
, pg. 22.
After a while, I came to enjoy the comic strip. The words that were used, the art work, as well as the situation of the strip itself won me over. I read the strip religiously from then on. I bought the books so I could read them whenever the mood struck. While there was some replication among the books, all the strips were in at least one of them.
I would occasionally think of a strip I particularly liked. I’d go through all the books, trying to find that specific comic strip. Around that same time, I read web postings from people asking if anyone knew where they could find certain comic strips. They’d have some idea of the characters or the situation, or they might remember some of the dialog. Everyone had the problem of finding the strip in one of the books.
Using a combination of the Calvin and Hobbes website and researching through my local library’s microfilm for the daily papers, I documented the dates each comic strip originally appeared in the newspaper. I have compiled this information into a Calvin and Hobbes Comic Strip Guide.
How To Use This Guide
This is simply a chronological sequencing of the Calvin and Hobbes comic strips, all 3150 of them. Initially, there is the date that comic strip first appeared in the newspaper (in mm/dd/yy format). There were two times that Bill Watterson went on sabbatical, and the newspaper repeated comic strips during those times. This guide does not take repeat print dates into consideration.
A description of the comic strip comes next. I tried to explain what was happening in the strip, who the characters were, and I used some of the dialog from the comic strip. My hope was to make the description complete and true enough to the strip that anyone could search on these factors and find the entry.
Lastly, there are the references to which book(s) and page(s) a given comic strip appeared. The first number is the book, with the second number being the page in that book the comic strip can be found. The name of the book can be found by looking at the bibliography page, using the book number as reference. A semicolon separates entries, so if there is a chain of three different number sets, it simply means that particular comic strip appeared in three different books. Every occurrence of the strip is listed, except as noted below. The books used are the Andrews and McMeel books, starting with Calvin and Hobbes
and ending with Calvin and Hobbes: Sunday Pages 1985-1995
.
The bibliography and references do not include The Complete Calvin and Hobbes Volumes 1 – 3
. That three volume box set includes all the comic strips in chronological order. The dates of the strips are listed on the bottom of each page. Using this book as a guide, once you have the date, you can easily find it in the box set.
You simply use your reader’s search function, entering words you remember from the strip you’re looking for. You can search by date if you know when the strip originally was published in the newspaper or if you just want to see a strip from a certain date. Lastly, you can just read through the descriptions, and if you read something you like, you can go find that strip.
1985
11/18/85 Calvin is off to check his tiger trap. Since Calvin baited it with a tuna fish sandwich, he's sure he'll have caught a tiger. Calvin tells his Dad that tigers will do anything for tuna fish. Hobbes, hanging by his foot in the trap, says tigers are kind of stupid that way. 1,6; 3,19; 14,29
11/19/85 Calvin asks Dad what he should do when he catches a tiger. Perturbed, Dad replies Calvin should bring it home and stuff it. Hobbes, sitting in the kitchen, tells Calvin (who's looking for more food in the refrigerator) he can't eat another bite. 1,6; 3,19
11/20/85 Dad yells at Calvin to go to sleep and to quit making noise. Calvin blames Hobbes for jumping on the bed. Dad says Hobbes was not jumping on the bed, and that Calvin should go to sleep. Calvin tells Hobbes that he was the one jumping on the bed. Hobbes says Calvin was the one playing the cymbals. 1,6; 3,19
11/21/85 Miss Wormwood tells Calvin to put his tiger in his locker. Calvin protests that Hobbes would suffocate. Miss Wormwood allows Calvin to put Hobbes under his seat. Calvin is relieved and promptly asks Hobbes for some math assistance. 1,7; 3,20
11/22/85 Dad tells Calvin good night. As he's leaving, Calvin asks if he isn't going to say good night to Hobbes. Dad does so. Hobbes complains about there being no story or smooch. Calvin calls Hobbes a sissy and tells him to go to bed. 1,7; 3,20
11/23/85 Calvin looks at his dinner plate and asks Dad what it is. Dad replies Calvin should taste it, he'll like it. Calvin thinks you know you'll hate it when they won't tell you what it is. 1,7; 3,20
11/24/85 Calvin asks Dad to check under the bed for monsters, which he does. Then, he asks to have the dresser checked. Dad refuses. Calvin is sure that's where the monsters will be hiding, and that they'll come out when Calvin goes to sleep. Calvin decides to be proactive by arming himself with a suction dart gun and giving Hobbes a horn. The plan is to irritate the monsters by honking the horn, then shooting them. As they execute their plan, a monster comes in the door. Dad, with several suction darts sticking to him, asks Mom to come upstairs. Calvin is heard saying he was going to finish off the monster when he found his baseball bat. 1,8; 3,21
11/25/85 Calvin asks whether there are any monsters in his room tonight. Multiple replies of no
come from under the bed. Calvin threatens to use a flamethrower on any monster coming out. Hobbes asks whether Calvin really has a flamethrower. Calvin replies that if the monsters can lie, so can he. 1,9; 3,22
11/26/85 Calvin asks his Mom whether he can drive the car home. Mom replies no. Calvin wonders if he could steer the car. Mom replies no. Calvin asks whether he can work the gas and brakes. Again, Mom says no. Calvin replies his Mom never lets him do anything. 1,9; 3,22
11/27/85 Calvin is in the sandbox. He sees the bustling city with new buildings. He describes the farmer going to market. Calvin then fills up a bucket with water. He then mentions that the serene metropolis lies directly beneath the Hoover Dam. 1,9; 3,22
11/28/85 Calvin says dinner smells like bat barf. Dad sends him to his room. Mom thinks that might be a bit harsh, but Dad holds firm. Dad says Calvin needs to learn manners. He also says Calvin won't starve. Calvin and Hobbes are seen on the telephone ordering extra pepperoni. 1,10; 3,23
11/29/85 Miss Wormwood takes Calvin to the office to see the principal. Spaceman Spiff is captured and is being taken for torture. He knows the aliens are after the formula to the atomic napalm neutralizer. Spiff springs into action. The principal asks Miss Wormwood why Calvin is eating his hall pass. 1,10; 3,23
11/30/85 Calvin and Hobbes are riding the wagon down the hill as Calvin asks if Hobbes believes in fate. Hobbes questions whether Calvin means our lives are predestined. Calvin confirms that he is thinking that the things they do are inevitable. As they fly into the air after flying off the end of a pier, Hobbes states that is a scary thought. 1,10; 3,23
12/01/85 Calvin is placed into the tub for a bath. He can't believe his parents would do that to him. Suddenly, a suds monster rises from the tub and attacks Calvin. As the battle goes on, Mom yells up to Calvin to quiet down. Calvin gets the best of the suds monster and sends the fiend to his death. As Mom comments to Dad about Calvin letting the water out already, Calvin walks by naked and tells her to believe it. 1,11; 3,24
12/02/85 Dad is informed his poll scores are low, especially with 6-year-olds. Dad will have to adopt some key planks to keep his position. Dad comments that some special interest groups are going to be in for a surprise. 1,12; 3,25
12/03/85 Hobbes asks Calvin about the new girl in school. Calvin doesn't know her name. Hobbes wonders if she's nice. Calvin doesn't care. Hobbes asks the big question of whether Calvin likes her, which gets an emphatic NO reply. 1,12; 3,25
12/04/85 Calvin sees the new girl coming and yells a question asking if that's Susie Derkins' face or if a possum is stuck in her collar. He then yells that she should have a debilitating brain aneurysm. Hobbes says she's cute, to which Calvin wants Hobbes to go away. 1,12; 3,25
12/05/85 Susie asks to join Calvin eating lunch. Calvin tells Susie he has a squid eyeball sandwich. Susie doesn't believe him and tells him not to be so disgusting. Calvin replies by indicating he likes to suck out the retinas. Susie calls for Miss Wormwood, while Calvin asks whether she wants a bite of his sandwich or was just leaving. 1,13; 3,26
12/06/85 Calvin, up in a tree house, tells Susie she can't come up and that no girls are allowed. Susie wonders why he would think she'd want to sit up in a tree anyway. Calvin thinks about that and decides she's taken all the fun out of sex discrimination. 1,13; 3,26
12/07/85 Calvin is swinging and lets himself go. As he flies into the air, he realizes he has a problem. He calls Houston to report a negative on that orbit trajectory. 1,13; 3,26
12/08/85 Miss Wormwood calls to Calvin about not paying attention. Spaceman Spiff shoots the atomic napalm neutralizer at the snarling cur, but to no avail. Spiff runs off to a nearby cave, where he smells something awful. Suddenly, a light comes on, and Spiff finds himself in the midst of several monsters. Calvin runs out of the teachers lounge, as they ask who that was. 1,14; 3,27
12/09/85 Calvin is lying in bed with a thermometer in his mouth watching soap operas. He hears dialog about Mary's skimpy negligee, about the couple being married (but to other people), and a plan to murder their spouses. Calvin thinks he learns more when he stays home from school. 1,15; 3,28; 14,32
12/10/85 Calvin asks if he can set fire to his mattress. Mom replies no. He then asks if he can ride his tricycle on the roof. Mom replies no. Calvin then asks for a cookie. Again, Mom replies no. Calvin realizes she's onto him. 1,15; 3,28
12/11/85 Mom is carrying Calvin to bed. Calvin warns that Hobbes will messily devour anyone bringing him to bed before 9:00. Mom shows that Hobbes is in the washing machine. In bed, Calvin complains that was a fine time for Hobbes to take a bath. 1,16; 3,28
12/12/85 As Hobbes is drawing a picture, Calvin asks whether Hobbes watched the movie on TV last night. Hobbes says no. Calvin then asks whether Hobbes watched the game. Hobbes says no. Calvin asks whether Hobbes watched any TV last night. Hobbes says no. Calvin then asks what he did watch. 1,16; 3,29
12/13/85 Calvin has a stand by the sidewalk selling insurance. Susie stops by and says what a dumb idea that is and asks why anyone would buy insurance from him. Calvin then pulls out a slingshot and fires a round at Susie. 1,17; 3,29
12/14/85 Calvin climbs out his bedroom window on sheets bound together. He walks along in the darkness. Calvin stops at a pay phone to call Dad. Calvin states it's now three in the morning, and does Dad know where Calvin is? 1,17; 3,29
12/15/85 Spiff is being pursued. His hyper-freem drive fails. A frap ray nearly misses. Finally, Spiff is hit. He's going down and wonders if he'll make it. As Calvin lands on the ground after coming down the slide, he kisses the sweet ground. Miss Wormwood thinks maybe Calvin should play on the swings instead. 1,18; 3,30
12/16/85 Mom asks whether Calvin is bringing Hobbes to school again. She asks whether the kids make fun of him for doing that. Calvin replies that Tommy Chesnutt did, but no one did anymore. Mom asks what happened to Tommy. Calvin replies that Hobbes ate him. Hobbes comments that Tommy needed a bath. 1,19; 3,31
12/17/85 Dad comes into the bedroom yelling that Calvin is making too much noise and is supposed to be asleep. Calvin replies he's hitting monsters under the bed. He's using a baseball bat. Dad shows Calvin he's mistaken by pulling Hobbes out from under the bed. Calvin says it's a good thing he occasionally missed with the bat. Hobbes agrees and asks to see the bat for a minute. 1,19; 3,31
12/18/85 Calvin is playing with some toys. He has a sports car going 200 miles an hour. He has a cement truck coming in. Then, he has an inflammable chemical truck driving up. Calvin looks up and says this ought to be good. 1,19; 3,31
12/19/85 Calvin is digging trenches in the yard, then building dirt berms. Mom comes out yelling at Calvin about what he's doing to the yard. Calvin replies he's making speed bumps. 1,20; 3,32
12/20/85 Calvin and Hobbes are lying on a hill. Calvin wonders where they go when they die. They think about it awhile, and Hobbes wonders if it's Pittsburgh. Calvin wonders whether Hobbes is referring to where they go if they're good or if they're bad. 1,20; 3,32
12/21/85 Calvin and Hobbes are wandering in the tall grass. Hobbes says they're lost again. Calvin, in his pith helmet, says that lost
isn't in the vocabulary of brave explorers. Hobbes wonders if mommy
is. They both cry out mommy
. 1,20; 3,32
12/22/85 Calvin finishes building a snow fortress. As he and Hobbes are inside, Calvin rants about being invincible. That the fort is impenetrable, and that they rule and are immune to any onslaught. Calvin then looks over at Hobbes, who is grinning widely. Hobbes then smacks Calvin with a snowball. 1,21; 3,33
12/23/85 Calvin notices there isn't a stocking over the fireplace for Hobbes. Calvin asks where Santa will put Hobbes' loot if there is no stocking. Mom assures Calvin she'll make a stocking for Hobbes. Mom looks over at Dad and asks about Hobbes' loot. Dad says not to look at him, he's done shopping. 1,22; 3,34
12/24/85 Calvin and Hobbes are in bed. Calvin asks whether Hobbes is still awake, which he is. Downstairs they go. They wait at the fireplace, and Calvin says when Santa drops his bag down, Hobbes should grab it and Calvin will close the flue. 1,22; 3,34
12/25/85 Calvin looks at Hobbes with sad eyes and apologizes for not getting Hobbes a gift or a card. Hobbes says it's alright, as he didn't get anything for Calvin. Hobbes gives Calvin a big tiger hug for being his best friend. Calvin calls Hobbes a big sissy and tells Hobbes he is squeezing Calvin so hard tears are coming out. Hobbes tells him Merry Christmas
. 1,22; 3,34
12/26/85 Calvin and Hobbes are sledding down the hill as Calvin asks how long it will be till bedtime. Hobbes guesses six or seven hours and wonders why Calvin asked. As they fly off the hill, Calvin hopes his Mom will notice they're missing by then. 1,23; 3,35
12/27/85 Calvin is hammering nails into a table. Mom runs out yelling, asking Calvin what he's doing. Calvin looks at the nails in the table and asks whether that's a trick question or something. 1,23; 3,35
12/28/85 Susie asks Calvin whether he wants to play house. Calvin asks how you play. Susie explains that he comes home from work, then she does. Then, they argue about their jobs and about who will microwave dinner. 1,23; 3,35
12/29/85 Calvin is sitting at the table with a bowl of oatmeal. Mom tells Calvin to eat the oatmeal, not play with it. The oatmeal jumps out of its bowl and bounces around the table. Calvin stabs at it while yelling death to oatmeal
. He chases the vile glop around. Mom comes to the kitchen and sees the mess. Mom then yells at Dad. She says it's Dad's fault they didn't have a sweet girl. It's his chromosome that was the problem. Dad watches Mom go off, sits back into his chair and says he just lives there. 1,24; 3,36
12/30/85 Hobbes is reading a newspaper while Calvin watches TV. Hobbes reads that by age 6, children have seen a million murders on TV. Calvin finds that very disturbing. He believes he's been watching all the wrong channels. 1,25; 3,37
12/31/85 Calvin is at the dinner table and refuses to eat the green stuff. Dad replies that it's toxic waste that will turn him into a mutant if he eats it. Calvin devours the meal. Mom says there has to be a better way to get him to eat. 1,25; 3,37
1986
01/01/86 Calvin comes into the living room asking Dad why he lives there with Mom instead of in an apartment with several scantily clad female roommates. Dad looks up with eyes wide open. Calvin trudges off grumbling about how you ask a simple question, and you get your television privileges revoked. 1,25; 3,37
01/02/86 Calvin asks Hobbes if he's ever kissed a girl. Hobbes replies that he has kissed a few. Calvin asks what it was like. Hobbes grabs Calvin and plants a big kiss on him and says only a lot more so
. Calvin tries to clean his lips while he says he was hoping it wasn't so fuzzy. 1,26; 3,38
01/03/86 Calvin asks Hobbes what he finds attractive in women. Hobbes replies that he has always been partial to redheads...with green eyes...and long whiskers. 1,26; 3,38
01/04/86 Calvin, the werewolf, looks for a human sacrifice. He trudges past Dad, mouth hanging open, saying hi, and Dad replies back. Then, Dad yells for Calvin to stop drooling. 1,26; 3,38
01/05/86 Calvin smacks Susie in the back of the head with a snowball. Susie, enraged, rolls up a huge snowball. Calvin taunts Susie about the size of the snowball and her inability to throw it. Susie walks up to Calvin, picks him up, and deposits him in the snowball. 1,27; 3,39
01/06/86 Miss Wormwood asks the class who will be the first to do his book report. Calvin, sitting at his desk with a smile on his face, is chosen. Calvin just sits there as Miss Wormwood calls his name again. Then, Spaceman Spiff pulls his death ray blaster as the monster approaches him. 1,28; 3,40
01/07/86 Calvin sits at his desk looking at a math problem. He answers that he cannot answer that question as it is against his religious principles. Calvin figures it's worth a shot. 1,28; 3,40
01/08/86 Calvin and Hobbes are on the hill, and Calvin asks Hobbes what he thinks happens when they die. After thinking about it, Hobbes replies they play saxophone for an all-girl cabaret in New Orleans. Calvin asks if Hobbes believes in heaven. Hobbes replies to call it what you like. 1,28; 3,40
01/09/86 Calvin and Hobbes are in their treehouse, wearing paper hats and brandishing swords. They're a fierce and dirty band of cutthroat pirates. Calvin tells Hobbes to keep an eye out so no girls come on board. Calvin reiterates that they're a murderous bunch of pirates. Hobbes wants to know who they smooch. 1,29; 3,41
01/10/86 Calvin and Susie are walking to school. Calvin asks what Susie is bringing to show and tell. Susie replies she has a note she wrote to her Congressman. Calvin is bringing some dead bugs he got from his windowsills. As Susie leaves, Calvin says that this way, his Mom didn't even have to pack a lunch. 1,29; 3,41
01/11/86 Calvin and Hobbes are on a Cub Scout trip, but are hopelessly lost again. Calvin replies that he's always prepared. With his full backpack, they can stay out for weeks. As Hobbes grabs one of the dozens of comic books from the backpack, he comments that they can do that as long as they don't get hungry. 1,29; 3,41
01/12/86 Calvin is home from school. As he enters his bedroom, Hobbes attacks him. They tussle, and Mom is forced to yell for Calvin to quit crashing around. Calvin tries to explain that he was fighting for his very survival against Hobbes' attack. Mom is more concerned with having to sew Hobbes up again, so she asks Calvin to do something quiet upstairs. Calvin complains to Hobbes that Mom always takes his side. Hobbes taunts Calvin by sticking his tongue out and saying that Mom wanted another tiger, not him. 1,30; 3,42
01/13/86 In school, Susie hands Calvin a note and asks him to pass it to Jessica. She asks he not read it, because it's a secret note. Calvin takes the note, gets a mischievous look on his face, and reads the note. It calls Calvin a stinkhead and says she told him not to read it. 1,31; 3,43
01/14/86 Calvin fumes from being humiliated and vows Susie will be sorry if she passes another note to him. Susie then does just that. She gives Calvin another secret note for Jessica. This time, Calvin yells to Miss Wormwood that Susie is passing notes and that she should read the note to the class. Miss Wormwood reads the note telling Jessica that Calvin is a squealer. Calvin murmurs a comment to Susie about hoping she knows a good dentist. 1,31; 3,43
01/15/86 Susie and Calvin are on their way to the principal's office as Susie stops to wonder if they'll get paddled. She believes she won't because she's a girl. Calvin wonders why that makes a difference. Susie informs him that girls have more delicate heinies. 1,31; 3,43
01/16/86 Susie is complaining to Calvin about not wanting to get spanked. She's worried it will go on their academic transcripts. She sniffles. Then, she unleashes a threat to Calvin that he'll answer to her parents if Susie doesn't get a Master's degree. 1,32; 3,44
01/17/86 The principal calls Susie and Calvin into his office. Susie yells that it's all Calvin's fault. Calvin yells that Susie's started it. Calvin wants to know if they're getting spanked. Susie promises to never pass notes again. They both cry and wish they were dead. The principal looks up and thinks that he hates his job. 1,32; 3,44
01/18/86 The principal tells Susie and Calvin he wants them to pay more attention in class. Susie agrees. The principal tells them to return to their class. Susie heads off. Calvin just stands in front of the principal's desk as he repeats himself about going back to class. Spiff sets his blaster on medium well
as the Zorg draws near. 1,32; 3,44
01/19/86 Hobbes asks Calvin what he's watching on TV. Calvin replies that the show is garbage that would insult a six-year-old. Hobbes asks why he doesn't watch something else. Calvin tells him the other shows are worse. Hobbes asks why he watches TV at all. Calvin tells him that there's nothing else to do. Hobbes indignantly tells Calvin that he could read a book, write a letter, or take a walk. He says Calvin will wish he had more memories when he's old and looks back on these years. Calvin agrees, but stays in front of the TV. Hobbes decides to join him. 1,33; 3,45
01/20/86 Calvin points the remote control at the TV set, clicks it, and the TV goes off. Smiling, Calvin walks to the living room where Dad is sitting. Calvin points the remote control at Dad, clicks it, and says rats
when nothing happens. 1,34; 3,46
01/21/86 Calvin asks Mom if he can remove his floorboards and build a secret passageway. Mom says not to be ridiculous, and that he'd come through the kitchen ceiling if he tried it. Calvin walks up to his room and asks Hobbes how quietly he thinks they can nail the boards back in. 1,34; 3,46
01/22/86 Calvin asks Dad what this disgusting slimy blob on his plate is. Dad replies that he should try it. Calvin wants to know what if he does try it and doesn't like it. Dad replies that if that happens he will build character. As Calvin peeks over his dinner plate, he comments on how Dad is always looking out for him. 1,35; 3,46
01/23/86 Mom yells up the stairs for Calvin to get up. She goes to his bedroom door, tells Calvin it's nearly 7:30 and asks if he's ready. Calvin replies he's coming. There sits Hobbes with Calvin's shirt and cap on. Hobbes tells Calvin that he knew it wouldn't work. Calvin believes it didn't work because Hobbes didn't put on Calvin's pants. 1,35; 3,47
01/24/86 Calvin asks Hobbes if he knows where babies come from. Hobbes says no. Calvin then wonders how a person would find out. Hobbes asks to see the back of Calvin's shirt. He then informs Calvin that he came from Taiwan. 1,36; 3,47
01/25/86 Calvin comes in the door and yells a question about when lunch is to his Mom. She's busy in the kitchen. Calvin yells that he's hungry and wants to eat now. Calvin receives a map to the refrigerator. 1,36; 3,47
01/26/86 Spaceman Spiff is going down. He fights to control his damaged spacecraft. Spiff careens through the alien canyon but ejects right before impact. Mom asks whether he's done running through the house or if he is going to fall down the steps again. Calvin thinks Spiff has regained consciousness at the feet of a sarcastic alien. 1,37; 3,48
01/27/86 Calvin calls Dad at work. He asks how Dad's day is going and comments on the pretty day. Calvin wonders if Dad will be bringing any presents home tonight. He just thought he'd ask. Then, Calvin tells Dad that he supposes he wonders why Calvin called. Calvin is standing on a ladder, wrench in hand, with water all over the floor. 1,38; 3,49
01/28/86 Calvin informs Dad that his poll results took a dive. In particular, the Overall Dad Performance
rating is especially low. The polls show Dad's drop started the day before. Dad yells that Calvin didn't get dessert the day before because he flooded the house. Calvin walks off, suggesting a new line of work for Dad
. 1,38; 3,49
01/29/86 The giant slimy octopus oozes across the beach. His presence terrorizes the community. His tentacle grabs an unsuspecting tourist. A muffled scream lingers in the air. Mom looks down at Calvin on the floor and asks if he wants something. 1,38; 3,49; 14,30
01/30/86 Calvin sees Moe coming. Moe demands the ball, calling Calvin a twinky. Calvin gives Moe the ball and says you should never argue with a six-year-old who shaves. 1,39; 3,50; 14,26
01/31/86 Calvin is in a swing as Moe comes up indicating Calvin took his favorite swing. Calvin agrees and asks Moe about that. Moe ponders that while Calvin tells us Moe's train of thought is still boarding at the station. 1,39; 3,50
02/01/86 Calvin tells Moe he was wondering something. Calvin wonders if Moe's maladjusted antisocial tendencies were the product of his berserk pituitary gland. Moe stands there confused. Calvin says Moe is great, and that we should give him a hand. 1,39; 3,50
02/02/86 Dad is trying to read Calvin the story of Little Red Riding Hood
. Calvin keeps changing the wolf to a tiger. As Dad gets to the part about the hunter shooting the wolf (or tiger in this story), he changes his mind. He says the tiger pounces on the hunter and Little Red Riding Hood, eating them and living happily ever after. Calvin thanks Dad for the good story as Hobbes tries to hold back tears. 1,40; 3,51
02/03/86 Calvin is doing some math conversions dealing with bushels and pecks. He asks Hobbes what a peck is. Hobbes, of course, replies that it's a quick smooch. Calvin laments that he just doesn't math at all. 1,41; 3,52
02/04/86 Calvin asks Mom if he can have some money to go to the movies with Hobbes. The movie title is The Cuisinart Murderer of Central High
. Not surprisingly, Mom declines and informs Calvin there are much better ways he can spend his afternoon. As he goes back to his bedroom, Hobbes asks what Mom had said. Calvin states that she went off on one of her irrelevant tangents again. 1,41; 3,52
02/05/86 As they gaze into the evening sky, Calvin asks Hobbes whether he believes their destinies are controlled by the stars. Hobbes believes they can do whatever they want with their lives. Calvin answers Not to hear Mom and Dad tell it
. 1,41; 3,52
02/06/86 Standing behind a snow berm, Calvin asks whether Hobbes is ready. Hobbes replies no. Calvin continues to make snowballs and yells to Hobbes to hurry up. Hobbes, standing on a lever and fulcrum with a huge snowball at the end says he's now ready. 1,42; 3,53
02/07/86 Sledding down the hill, Calvin asks Hobbes whether he believes in life after death, reincarnation. As they go zinging through the trees, Hobbes covers his eyes and tells Calvin to just steer. 1,42; 3,53
02/08/86 Mild-mannered Calvin dashes into the hall closet, where he transforms into Captain Napalm, protector of the American Way. Although Captain Napalm has superhuman powers, he cannot open the closet door and has to yell for Mom. 1,42; 3,53
02/09/86 Calvin is taking a bath. He worries he might drown with no one there to rescue him, so he brings Hobbes into the tub. Hobbes disguises himself with bubbles, then Calvin gets one of Dad's hats for Hobbes to wear. As Calvin goes off to get a tie to add to the disguise, Hobbes tells him to hurry because Mom is coming. As Calvin walks naked behind Dad, who's reading a book, we hear Mom yelling at Dad for taking a bath in his best hat. 1,43; 3,54
02/10/86 Mom wakes Calvin for school. Calvin says he's not going to school anymore. Mom replies that he has to, because it's the law. Calvin asks why Hobbes doesn't have to go to school. Mom tells him it's because he's a tiger. Calvin asks Hobbes what being a tiger has to do with it, and Hobbes replies that tigers wreck the grade curve. 1,44; 3,55
02/11/86 As Calvin and Hobbes pull the sled up the hill, Calvin asks Hobbes whether it's better to live in security or to take risks and live on the edge. As the sled is ready for the trip down the hill, Calvin and Hobbes sit on the sled. Calvin states that he believes it's best to accept danger and live to the fullest. As the sled goes down the hill, Calvin says that by Hobbes' silence, he must agree with Calvin. However, Hobbes isn't on the back of the sled after all. 1,44; 3,55
02/12/86 Calvin sits at a desk at home making Susie Derkins a valentine. Hobbes comments on how cute Susie is. Calvin is putting lace around the heart-shaped valentine. Hobbes is sure Susie will like it. Calvin writes that he hates her, and that she should drop dead. 1,44; 3,55
02/13/86 Calvin goes to a florist to get a valentine bouquet. The worker comments on what a sweet little boy he is. Calvin doesn't see what he's looking for. When the worker asks if he had something special in mind, Calvin replies he was hoping for a dumpster he could root through. 1,45; 3,56
02/14/86 Susie calls Calvin a baloney brain. She yells at him for giving her a hate-mail valentine and dead flowers. She smacks him with a snowball. As she walks off, she smiles and thinks Calvin likes her because of the valentine and flowers. Calvin, buried in the snow, thinks Susie likes him because she noticed the gifts he sent. 1,45; 3,56
02/15/86 Mom is sitting at the table when Calvin walks by dressed in his coat and hat. Puzzled, Mom goes upstairs and opens the bedroom door. There, she finds Calvin has opened the window letting snow into the room. Calvin is working on a snowman. Mom just covers her face. 1,45; 3,56
02/16/86 Calvin asks Hobbes what it's like to be in love. Hobbes describes your heart falling into your stomach, you sweat and get woozy and that you babble like a cretin until she leaves. Calvin is surprised that is what love is. He felt that way once, but thought it was cooties. 1,46; 3,57
02/17/86 Moe informs Calvin it will cost fifty cents to be his friend today. Calvin wonders what happens if he doesn't want to be Moe's friend today. Moe tells Calvin he'll be scraped off the wall with a spatula. Calvin wonders what's a little extortion among friends. 1,47; 3,58
02/18/86 Calvin tells Hobbes he got the new record from Scrambled Debutante. He shows Hobbes the lyric sheet and tells Hobbes the songs glorify violence, mindless sex, and deliberate use of dangerous drugs. Hobbes is sure Mom will have conniptions if she sees the lyrics lying around. Calvin says he sure didn't buy the record for the music, as he throws the album into the trash can. 1,47; 3,58
02/19/86 Calvin asks Mom if she will drive him to town. Mom wonders why she should drive him. She states that it's a perfect day and asks what he thinks feet are for. Calvin replies that feet are for working the gas pedal. 1,47; 3,58
02/20/86 Miss Wormwood tells Calvin he's not paying attention again. Spaceman Spiff is trapped. He dives for the air lock. Miss Wormwood grabs his shirt as he's hanging out the school window. She tells him, Nice try, Calvin
. 1,48; 3,59
02/21/86 Calvin returns from school and tells Mom he's home. He asks Mom if she fed Hobbes today. Mom rolls her eyes and says it must have slipped her mind. Calvin tells her she should just douse him with steak sauce before he goes into his room. 1,48; 3,59
02/22/86 In the middle of the night, Mom and Dad awake to Calvin yelling for Mom. He yells that he's thirsty. Mom dutifully stumbles off to take care of things. She gives Calvin a cup, to which he questions if this is just water. 1,48; 3,59
02/23/86 As Mom is driving Calvin home, the car breaks down. Mom starts yelling at the car, and Calvin encourages her to go ahead and swear. Mom gets out of the car to look under the hood. Calvin suggests she kick the car, because that works on TV. Calvin notices all the cars going by on the road and worries no one will stop. Hobbes suggests they honk the horn. They do, as Mom holds her ears in pain. Calvin and Hobbes cheer as someone stops. The man asks whether Mom wants a tow truck. Mom replies that he should call the police and report an infanticide. 1,49; 3,60
02/24/86 Calvin asks Hobbes for some homework assistance. He asks what a pronoun is. Hobbes states it's a noun that lost its amateur status. Calvin isn't so sure, but figures he might get a point for originality. 1,50; 3,61
02/25/86 Dad lets Calvin out of the car, but tells Calvin to leave Hobbes inside. Calvin tries to convince Dad to let Hobbes come, but Dad says no. Calvin asks for the window to be left open to give Hobbes some air. As they walk off, Hobbes asks Calvin to see if Dad will leave the keys so Hobbes can listen to the radio. 1,50; 3,61
02/26/86 Dad informs Calvin that he and Mom have decided Calvin should have an allowance. With that, he will learn the value of money. Calvin hunches over, rubs his hands together, and rants that he's rich, can buy off anyone, and that the world is his. As Calvin continues to rant about power, prestige, and being free, Dad yells to Mom that he blew it again. 1,50; 3,61
02/27/86 Calvin says he wants to be a radical terrorist when he grows up, Mom just mumbles. Calvin then says he's going to inhale a can of pesticide, Mom just mumbles. Calvin says he's going to watch TV all night, Mom replies That's what you think, Buster!
Calvin notes that you can never tell if they're listening or not. 1,51; 3,62
02/28/86 Calvin notices a movie in the paper, Vampire Sorority Babes
. Hobbes points out that you need to be eighteen to enter. Calvin indicates that's no problem. The cashier at the theatre notes this is a new one as Calvin, with Hobbes on his head wearing a long coat, orders two....he means one ticket. 1,51; 3,62
03/01/86 Calvin thinks it's time to have a new Dad. He asks when Dad's term runs out. Dad informs Calvin that he's been appointed for life. Calvin laments about a recall vote or an impeachment. Dad says there are no provisions for either one. Calvin asks if Dad wrote that constitution himself. Dad adds that Mom helped with it, also. 1,51; 3,62
03/02/86 Calvin asks how many monsters there are under his bed. Only one replies. Calvin and Hobbes decide they outnumber the monster and can get him with a baseball bat. As they grab the bat, the voice under the bed tells the others to quit shoving. Calvin and Hobbes yell for Mom as the monster mutters thanks to Maurice, for ruining things. 1,52; 3,63
03/03/86 Moe threatens Calvin with tasting asphalt in fifth period. Calvin calls fifth period Studies in Contemporary State-Sponsored Terrorism
...also known as gym class. 1,53; 3,64
03/04/86 Mom hangs up the phone and says she can't find a baby-sitter anywhere. Dad suggests that since they will only be gone a couple hours, they can leave Calvin unsupervised. They both break out laughing. As both of them wipe tears of laughter away, they ask seriously, what they should do. 1,53; 3,64
03/05/86 Mom tells Calvin they'll be out a couple hours and to be good and watch TV. Calvin and Hobbes rejoice at the news and head to the telephone to call Videorama to rent a VCR and some movies. Hobbes wants Calvin to ask for Attack of the Coed Cannibals
. 1,53; 3,64
03/06/86 Mom and Dad come home and note the house is still standing. They figure Calvin has gone to bed. Since his light is still on, Mom enters the bedroom. A bucket of water falls down on her head. She wants to know if Calvin watched a scary movie. Huddled under his covers, he says no. But he adds that Mom shouldn't come in because the rug is rigged, also. 1,54; 3,65
03/07/86 Calvin, with bat on shoulder, throws a baseball into the air. He takes a big swing at it and hits the ball. SMASH! Glass shatters. Calvin happily notes that it was only his first try. 1,54; 3,65
03/08/86 Calvin is in the sandbox happily making a sand city. He declares it downtown Tokyo. He yells and stomps through the sand city. He declares it Godzilla. 1,54; 3,65
03/09/86 Calvin wants a grenade launcher. He wonders when Christmas is. How about his birthday? Both too far away. He asks about his allowance, which he's already spent. He wonders if he has any stocks or war bonds he could sell. Mom yells that she's trying to work. Calvin asks if he can have some soap. Mom tells him to take all he wants. Calvin then sits at a table set up next to the family car which is marked, with soap on the windshield, 4 Sale Cheep
. 1,55; 3,66
03/10/86 Calvin is complaining that it's cold outside in the snow. Hobbes tells him he should get a good fur coat like he has. Calvin looks at Hobbes, then puts Hobbes over his shoulder. Calvin wonders if Hobbes ate cement for breakfast as Hobbes reminds Calvin that this wasn't his idea. 1,56; 3,67
03/11/86 Calvin drops a quarter into the snow. He tries to find it, but Hobbes tells him he'll have to wait until the snow melts. Calvin won't have any of that, so he gets hold of a hair dryer and goes to work on the snow. 1,56; 3,67
03/12/86 Calvin wants to show Hobbes something weird. He puts a slice of bread in the toaster and pushes the lever. The toast pops up. Hobbes wonders what happened to the bread. That's the weird thing Calvin wanted to show. 1,57; 3,67
03/13/86 Calvin sits in the barber's chair for a haircut. Calvin orders the top shaved, the sides dyed pink and cut in horizontal stripes. Mom tells the barber to give Calvin the usual. Calvin comments the barber knows which side his bread is buttered on. 1,58; 3,68
03/14/86 Finished, the barber gives Calvin a mirror and asks what he thinks. Calvin gushes about how great the haircut looks and is probably the best he's ever received. Calvin knows better than to criticize a guy with a razor. 1,58; 3,68
03/15/86 Calvin comments that it's too bad the world is ending soon. Hobbes asks for clarification. Calvin tells him comets are harbingers of doom, and that Halley's Comet spells the end. Hobbes informs him that is only a superstition. Calvin realizes he better write his book report. 1,57; 3,68
03/16/86 Hobbes is eating as Calvin and he come down the hill in the wagon. Calvin offers a beverage, which then spills out of the can. Hobbes is asked if he wants dessert as items fly out of the wagon. Calvin tells him they'll be landing soon as they fly off the edge of the hill. Crashed below, Calvin declares that the seat belt light is off and thanks Hobbes for taking Flight 240, non-stop to Stoney Gulch. Hobbes reminds himself not to take the dinner flight next time. 1,59; 3,69
03/17/86 Calvin comes to Dad looking for reassurance that he's loved. Dad tells him yes. Calvin wonders if that would be true if he did something bad, something really, really bad. Suspicious, Dad wants to know what Calvin has done. 1,60; 3,70
03/18/86 Calvin informs Dad his poll results are high and that Dad's political stock could reach a record high with a little push. Dad tells Calvin to go help Mom with the dishes. Calvin laments the political suicide of Dad's decision. 1,60; 3,70
03/19/86 Calvin sees Moe coming and comments that Moe isn't smart, but is streetwise. After Moe passes, Calvin clarifies that means Moe knows which street he lives on. 1,60; 3,70
03/20/86 Calvin stops Dad from bringing his car into the garage. Calvin says Dad needs to give him a quarter before entering. Dad asks why he should pay to put his car into his garage. Calvin informs him that if he doesn't, the garage door will be brought down onto the car. Calvin, sitting on his bed, comments that Dad is a cheapskate. 1,61; 3,71
03/21/86 Hobbes is hanging in a tree, lowering a rope. Calvin thanks him for helping put up the tire swing. Hobbes wonders where he got such a nice tire. Dad, standing in his garage, is next to his jacked-up car with one tire missing. 1,61; 3,71
03/22/86 Hobbes asks Calvin what he's eating. Calvin tells him it's his new favorite Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs
. He offers Hobbes a taste, and Hobbes chokes on the sweetness. Calvin states they're a little bland until you scoop sugar on them. 1,61; 3,71
03/23/86 Calvin and Hobbes are playing war. Calvin is the defender of liberty, Hobbes the godless Communist oppressor. They square off and shoot each other with suction darts. They see they each have a dart stuck in them. Calvin suggests that it's kind of a stupid game. 1,62; 3,72
03/24/86 Calvin asks to be dismissed from the dinner table. Mom wants him to finish his salmon. Calvin wants to bring the supper to his room while he studies, and Mom consents. Calvin happily gives Hobbes the salmon and asks how the homework is coming. Hobbes is having a bit of a problem with a subtraction problem, so he answers Atlanta, Georgia
. 1,63; 3,73
03/25/86 Calvin offers to show Susie a magic trick. He asks for a quarter. Then, he says he'll disappear. Susie doesn't think it's very funny and starts pounding Calvin as he pleads that it was a trick. 1,63; 3,73
03/26/86 Calvin finds a decoder ring in his cereal. He tells Hobbes they can now send each other messages in code. He chuckles that Mom and Dad won't be able to understand them at all....not that they do anyway. 1,63; 3,73
03/27/86 Mom pokes her head into Calvin's room and tells him to rise and shine. As Calvin grumbles, she says the early bird gets the worm. Calvin doesn't think that's much of an incentive. 1,64; 3,74
03/28/86 Calvin decides he and Hobbes need to look cooler
. Calvin says cool people wear sunglasses, so he pulls out a couple pair. Hobbes wonders if it's cool to bump into things. Calvin tells him not to move, just to hang around. 1,64; 3,74
03/29/86 Calvin asks Dad if he will buy him a flamethrower. Dad tells Calvin not to be silly. Calvin fumes, then asks Dad if he'll buy it if Calvin doesn't use it in the house. 1,64; 3,74
03/30/86 Hobbes grabs Calvin's blanket so a parachute can be made. Calvin jumps out his window, planning to float gently to the ground. Instead, he plummets to the ground and crashes. Hobbes figures Mom will have a fit about the rose bushes. 1,65; 3,75
03/31/86 Calvin is in the doctor's office wondering what the doctor is doing. The doctor shows his tongue depressor, the stethoscope, and Calvin wonders if they will hurt him. Finally, the doctor pulls out an ear light. Calvin asks what that is, and the doctor tells him a cattle prod. Calvin keels over, while the doctor says little kids have no sense of humor. 1,66; 3,76
04/01/86 Calvin is in the doctor's office getting his arm swabbed. He asks if the doctor is going to put a leech on it, if he's being bled, or going to amputate. As Mom is reading a magazine, Calvin yells that the shot went through his arm. He yells that he's dying and hopes the doctor's malpractice insurance is paid up. Calvin calls him a quack and yells for his Mom, as she buries her face into the magazine. 1,66; 3,76
04/02/86 Calvin, as Safari Al, hacks through the jungle. A giant gorilla rips through the foliage and grabs Safari Al. The gorilla says Clean your room
. Calvin, in his room, looks at Mom who tells him again to clean his room because it's a jungle in there. 1,67; 3,76
04/03/86 Calvin and Hobbes are outside at night looking for UFO's. Calvin tells Hobbes to keep watching the moon since aliens like to sneak up from behind it. Mom comes up behind them and yells for Calvin to get back into bed. Calvin says that mothers, on the other hand, sneak up behind the pachysandra patch. 1,67; 3,77
04/04/86 Calvin, lying in bed, tells Mom he doesn't think he'll go to school today. Mom replies that she does think he'll go. Calvin reiterates that he doesn't think he'll go. Calvin, standing at the bus stop, says Rats
. 1,68; 3,77
04/05/86 Calvin and Hobbes, lying in their sleeping bags in their tent, wish each other a good night. As we look at the tent in the moonlight, one of them asks if the other believes in ghosts. We then see both of them, wide-eyed and teeth clenched, with a baseball bat awaiting the daylight. 1,68; 3,77
04/06/86 Calvin's lunch bag attacks him. After a titanic struggle, Calvin kills it with his thermos. He shows Susie that the lunch is bleeding jelly. Susie now realizes why the seat next to Calvin wasn't taken. 1,69; 3,78
04/07/86 Calvin believes there is a boy in communist Russia who has only known censorship and oppression. He believes this boy may have heard of America, where you can live in a land of freedom and opportunity. Calvin would like to meet that little boy.....and tell him the awful truth. Dad tells him to be quiet and to eat his lima beans. 1,70; 3,79
04/08/86 Calvin tells Hobbes that when he gets ready to take his bath, he puts his ducky in first. Hobbes asks if that's for companionship. Calvin informs him that it's to test for sharks. 1,70; 3,79
04/09/86 Calvin and Hobbes go treasure hunting. Calvin has an ancient map that says where to dig. Hobbes is surprised to find a wallet full of money right where the map said. Calvin admits that it's Dad's wallet that Calvin buried last week. 1,70; 3,79
04/10/86 Spaceman Spiff spies a Zarg. He readies his blaster. Susie turns around and warns Calvin that if he shoots her with that paper clip, she'll have him hauled to the principal's office so fast he'll think he's in a time warp. Spiff is confounded by his jammed blaster. 1,71; 3,80
04/11/86 Mom notices Hobbes has a torn seam and gets the sewing kit to repair him. Hobbes says it's just a little cut, and that no surgery is required. Calvin tells Hobbes he's just getting a couple stitches and wonders what the big deal is. Hobbes informs him that Mom doesn't use any anesthetic. 1,71; 3,80
04/12/86 Hobbes sits up in bed and tells Calvin he had a peculiar dream. Hobbes explains he dreamed he was fighting a ferocious weasel and wonders what it means. Calvin rolls over from the covers, and we see he's all torn up. Calvin angrily tells Hobbes it means he will be sleeping on the floor tonight and calls him a nincompoop. 1,71; 3,80
04/13/86 Calvin poses a moral question to Hobbes. If Calvin did something bad, would he have to tell Dad about it? Hobbes questions him about how bad a thing it was. Calvin hypothetically might have done something really bad to the car. Hobbes probes about how easily the car could be fixed. Calvin figures if he could find the car, it could be fixed. Given all that, Hobbes grabs a suitcase as Calvin brushes up on his Spanish with I am el fugitivo
. 1,72; 3,81
04/14/86 Calvin pleads to Dad that he wants to stay up late. After all, he can. Calvin says it's not fair. Dad acknowledges that life isn't fair. Calvin wants life to be unfair in his favor. 1,73; 3,82
04/15/86Spaceman Spiff is being chased by a scum being. He spots his hovering spaceship and heads for the ladder. As he climbs, the scum being is upon him, and he knows he's too late. Miss Wormwood has told Calvin three times that recess is over and to get inside. 1,73; 3,82
04/16/86 Calvin, in a paper hat and standing in his treehouse, declares as dictator that he is the sole voice of government. He'll tolerate no dissent. He alone will decide the good. As he keeps proclaiming, Mom comes up and tells him it's time for bed. As she carries him to the house, he asks whether they can vote on it. 1,73; 3,82
04/17/86 Calvin asks Hobbes what he'd wish for if he could have anything. Hobbes wants a big, sunny field to be in. Calvin incredulously says A stupid field!?
He tells Hobbes to think big, about riches, power, anything. Hobbes just lies down and takes a nap. Calvin looks at him and says it's hard to argue with someone who looks so happy. 1,74; 3,83
04/18/86 Calvin stands on a pier with a bucket in his hand. He calls Here fish!
and holds the bucket out. Nothing happens. Calvin figures they must know that one. 1,74; 3,83
04/19/86 As Calvin sits on a rock with his fishing line in the water, a fish crawls up on the rock and bites Calvin in the butt. Hobbes comes by and asks if the fish are biting. Calvin tells him to drop dead. 1,74; 3,83
04/20/86 Calvin has a cough, so Mom heads off to get cough medicine. Calvin tells he it was Hobbes coughing. Hobbes says it was not, but Calvin tells him the cough syrup tastes awful. Hobbes refuses to take the medicine. Mom comes into the room and gives it to Calvin as he loudly protests that Hobbes was coughing. Calvin gags on the medicine. He then tries to convince Hobbes it tastes real good and to try some. Hobbes isn't buying that story. 1,75; 3,84
04/21/86 Calvin, trying to build a model airplane, can't get it to look right. He complains the directions are impossible. In a fit of anger, he smashes the model with a hammer. He then declares the airplane a victim of antiaircraft fire. Hobbes notes Calvin's planes do seem to run into those. 1,76; 3,85
04/22/86 Calvin tells Hobbes that Tommy told a funny story at school. Hobbes wants to hear it. Hands on hips, Calvin admits the story itself wasn't very funny, but the way Tommy told it was. Tommy was drinking milk and when he laughed, it went up his nose. 1,76; 3,85
04/23/86 Moe tells Calvin he has two periods to live. He warns him that in gym class, Calvin will be turned into hamburger casserole. As Calvin walks off, he says he hates gym class. The coach thinks violence is aerobic. 1,76; 3,85
04/24/86 Calvin yells Where's my jacket?
. He says he's looked everywhere. He's looked under the bed, over the chair, the stairs, the floor, the kitchen. Then he finds it and complains about who put it in the closet. 1,77; 3,86
04/25/86 Calvin waves his hands and says Hocus-Pocus. Abracadabra!
He commands his homework to do itself. He opens his textbooks, sees the homework isn't done, and says Rats
. 1,77; 3,86
04/26/86 Calvin and Hobbes are lying in the grass on the hill. Calvin asks if Hobbes ever thinks about the end of the world as they know it. Hobbes asks if he means nuclear war. Calvin clarifies he was referring to Mom catching him letting the air out of the car tires. 1,77; 3,86
04/27/86 Hobbes is sitting in the wagon at the top of the hill. Calvin is standing in skates with an umbrella in his hand. He asks if Calvin thinks this will work. Calvin is sure. Down the hill they go, racing around trees, crashing over bumps, until finally they fly off the end of the pier into the lake. Calvin yells that he's flying. In the water, Hobbes asks how it was. Calvin thinks it is great, and that they should get some other kids and charge them for the ride. 1,78; 3,87
04/28/86 Spaceman Spiff, in his spacecraft, closes in on the Zargons. He's going to teach that alien scum that virtue is its own reward. Susie asks Calvin what the capital of Poland until 1600 was. He replies Krakow
. Susie thanks him as Calvin keeps shooting at the Zargons...krakow, krakow, two direct hits. 1,79; 3,88
04/29/86 The tyrannosaurus lumbers across the valley. He's three stories call with six-inch teeth. He comes upon a tribe of cavemen trying to flee. He devours them one by one. Calvin is roaring as he drops popcorn into his mouth. Mom yells at him to eat quietly. 1,79; 3,88
04/30/86 Calvin asks Hobbes what a word in his book means. Hobbes looks at the word and turns frizzy with his eyes opening wide. He tells Calvin he doesn't know. Calvin yells that he does, too, know. He wants to find a dictionary. 1,79; 3,88
05/01/86 Calvin asks to watch the Killer Prom Queen
on TV. Mom says no. Calvin asks if he has to eat the slimy asparagus. Mom says yes. Calvin asks if he can stay up until midnight. Mom says no. Calvin decides there is an inverse relationship between how good something is for you and how much fun it is. 1,80; 3,89
05/02/86 Calvin wants to see what happens when popcorn is popped without a lid. First one, then several kernels go flying out of the pan. Calvin thinks that's more fun than exploding a potato in the microwave. 1,80; 3,89
05/03/86 Mom tells Calvin they're going to the store. Calvin wants to bring Hobbes, but Mom tells him to leave Hobbes at home. Calvin yells that he wants Hobbes to come with them. We see Calvin carrying Hobbes out the door saying if you can't win with reason, go for volume. 1,80; 3,89
05/04/86 Everyone is going out to dinner. Calvin is taking a bath, while Hobbes uses Dad's cologne, wears a tie and sport coat, looking like something out of GQ
. As they're sitting at the restaurant, with Hobbes in a chair of his own, Dad is wondering how he got talked into this. Calvin is asking the waitress for the wine list. 1,81; 3,90
05/05/86 Mom and Dad are talking about the $200 contractor bill. Mom offers that it's all part of raising a child. She then asks Dad if he's sorry they had Calvin. He asks her the same thing. Mom won't answer since she asked first. She suggests it wasn't all her decision. Dad counters with his remembering his original offer to buy a dachshund, but she didn't want that. 1,82; 3,91; 14,23
05/06/86 Calvin and Hobbes are lying on their backs on the hill. Hobbes asks if Calvin believes there is a God. Calvin thinks about it, and decides that somebody's out to get him. 1,82; 3,91
05/07/86 Spaceman Spiff closes in on the alien vehicle. The alien is unaware of its imminent doom. Spiff readies his frap-ray blaster.