Life After Life

Distracted by the wall-to-wall buildings and the cars driving by on the street, Kendel walked into the wide base of an ornamental streetlight, banging her knee and shin. Shocked by the pain, she stopped breathing.

John heard her gasp. Seeing that she was somewhat stunned, he said, Rub it, Kendel. Rubbing it helps to ease the pain by making sure the circulation of blood still happens. It spreads out a small pain so the pain can fade away.

Nnnnn..., Kendel said as she vigorously rubbed her knee and shin.

Blood? she said. I have blood? You talk like it might come out.

~~~~~

Since she had first seen it, Kendel had been glancing at the wall. It looked like a curtain made out of clear water, but it was moving in ripples, so she could not see through it to the other side....

What is that? Kendel asked John, while she stared at the flowing, crystal-like wall.

John looked at it, and then said, "I don't know for sure. I would call it the door into Paradise, or death, or baptism. I believe it may also burn away the chaff, that is, the hate and anger and so forth, in a person's life.

~~~~~

LIFE AFTER LIFE

Logan C. Cowart

Smashwords Edition

Copyright © 2009 by Logan C. Cowart

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

The characters and events in this book are fiction. Any resemblance to anyone in the real world is entirely coincidental.

Summary: Looking for her biological family, Kendel returns to the world from Paradise, where she is mugged, suffers partial amnesia, and must reconcile the evil and suffering in the world with the concept of a loving God.

[1. Christian beliefs. 2. Pain and suffering. 3. Paradise — Fiction]

~~~~~

For my wife, Judy —

the sunshine of my life.

~~~~~

Life After Life

Note: One cubit, an ancient measure of length, is eighteen inches, half a yard or just under one-half meter. One span, or a hand-span, is one-fourth of a cubit, four and one-half inches, or less than one-eighth of a meter. One K-day is one thousand days.

~~~~~

Prolog

(Paradise)

SEEING IT FOR THE FIRST TIME from the edge of the forest, she realized that LandsEnd had been well named.

The large white house stood alone in a field of long grass. Surrounded by forest on three sides, the far side of the field fell away in a sheer cliff overlooking a sea of empty sky. In the warm breeze, the grass waved like a river, flowing over the edge in a waterfall of air.

To Kendel Patterson, this part of Paradise seemed wild. The trees were taller, the forest darker, and even the waving grass gave the region a sense of isolation, as if it did not belong in Paradise. Lowering her backpack to the ground, Kendel knelt beside it and closed her eyes in prayer.

Abba, You have given me everything: Life and joy and peace, all my families, my brothers and sisters, and the children I taught. I’m still hoping to find my biological family, to find out where I came from. It's been a long journey since I heard Go to LandsEnd. Learn from John Collins. Now I'm here. Please help me to do my best to learn what You want me to know.

Kendel opened her eyes and breathed-in the warm fragrance of the tall cedars in the forest around her. Alone on the trail, she decided to change into something nicer than the clothes she had worn for the last five days; she hoped to make a better first impression when she knocked on the door at LandsEnd. She pulled her best dress and matching shoes out of the backpack, unrolled the dress, shook it out and laid it over the backpack. She took off her traveling clothes and reached for the dress when a flicker of movement to one side drew her attention.

She turned her head and froze motionless. Her sight locked on the golden eyes of the largest wolf she had ever seen. A beautiful silver-gray and white, it was sitting less than fifty cubits away. It was taller than she was, and she guessed it could cross the distance between them in two bounds.

Lowering her gaze to the ground, Kendel slowly picked up the dress and pulled it on over her head. For some reason she felt less vulnerable than she had when she was just standing there in her underwear.

Hi, she said softly. My name is Kendel, what's yours? This was just a rhetorical question since wolves do not talk, but she knew they could recognize people after being with them for a while. The wolf yawned and looked away, apparently bored with her. Kendel felt more at ease. She knew she was perfectly safe, logically speaking, but physically, she still had tiny prickles of fear on the back of her neck.

Kendel put on her shoes and folded her traveling clothes into the top of the backpack. She hoisted the pack into place, turned to the wolf and said, Well, maybe I'll see you later.

As she started down the trail toward the white house, Kendel heard a Yaolp behind her as the wolf yawned again, loudly. Turning to see past the edge of the backpack, she saw the wolf looking up the trail at her felt boots, right where she had left them.

Oh, thank you, she said, as she walked back toward them. How could I have forgotten to pack those? Next thing you know, I'll be forgetting my own head.

The wolf turned and looked directly into her eyes. Kendel felt a strange tickling shiver travel up her spine, and she again lowered her gaze. She set the backpack on the ground, put away the boots, and picked it up again. She opened her mouth to say goodbye, but couldn’t.

The wolf was gone.

She turned around slowly, looking in every direction. There was no sign of the wolf. Except for the lingering trace of fear, it was as if it had never been there.

(World)

DETECTIVE PAUL ANDERSON maneuvered his way through the zoo of paperwork and noise of Central Precinct into the Lieutenant's office and shut the door.

Have a seat.

Paul sat.

We have a problem, the Lieutenant said. First of all we have some sadistic.... He stopped, took a deep breath and started again.

We talked to each of the three victims and we have a pattern. Each of them went to a party with other kids from the high school — different parties, a month apart. Their memory goes blank, and when they wake up, they are tied up in some basement where an adult man in a ski mask comes in and.... The lieutenant stopped, closed his eyes and took another deep breath.

I should have left it to the psychiatrists to get the details, he said. "It makes me sick to remember. Anyway, we have enough DNA and trace evidence to show that there are two or three others, probably classmates, involved in drugging and then delivering the victims into the clutches of this serial ... psychopath.

The problem is: We can't test the kids without a warrant, and we can't get a warrant without a reasonable suspicion. So, we really need to put someone inside the school as soon as possible.

I have worked on this for three weeks, said Paul. I need to recruit someone, maybe off the street, and I need Angela's help.

I can see to that, the Lieutenant said. Meanwhile, the mayor transferred enough money into the department to pay for the background work. Out of that, I can allocate ten thousand to you now for miscellaneous expenses, but we have to account for it, so keep the receipts. Good luck with recruiting someone. Just make it fast.

(World)

EPIDERMOLYSIS BULLOSA.

Again.

In this case, a death sentence.

Again.

Sarah Johnson leaned over the hospital bed where her four-year-old daughter, Kendra, lay. She reached out and, light as a feather, brushed the red-gold hair out of her eyes, careful not to put any pressure on her skin.

E. Bullosa. She thought. A birth defect where the skin is so sensitive, it breaks out in painful blisters at a normal touch. At least Kendra's case was not the worst. In severe cases, merely swallowing caused blisters in the esophagus and the child died before walking.

Kendra lay on the bed. Her arms, legs and body were wrapped in soft bandages to keep her from bumping or scraping her skin against anything that might make the blistering worse. She opened her eyes, looked up at her mother and smiled.

I love you, Momma, she said in a fragile voice.

I love you, too, said Sarah, and she smiled at her daughter. But the smile did not stop the tears that ran down her cheeks.

Dear God in Heaven, thought Sarah. Please help take care of my little Kendra. Please keep her from hurting so much. And when she dies, please take care of her for me.

~~~~~

1 ~ The Edge of Paradise

(Paradise)

KENDEL SHIVERED with anticipation. She was here, at LandsEnd, finally. She walked toward the large square house along the path worn through the tall grass. The upper floor hung over the surrounding porch like craggy eyebrows over deep-set eyes. As she drew closer, the house loomed over her. Four steps up from the field of grass, Kendel crossed the porch and set her backpack down next to the front door. She rang the doorbell and waited.

A low rumble grew louder on the porch as a small boy rounded the corner on roller skates. Seeing Kendel, his mouth gaped open in surprise.

Kendel glanced down at her dress to make sure she didn’t have a big smear of mud down the front, or something worse. Thankfully, it was still clean — It was ankle-length and deep green, embroidered with gold thread in a pattern of twisted vines along each side of the front and back.

To avoid an imminent collision with the boy skating directly toward her, Kendel stepped to one side at the last moment and leaned against the front door. Just as he skated past, the door opened behind her and she began to fall backward.

* * *

WHEN OLD-JOHN OPENED the front door to Paradise, he was startled at the young woman who stumbled back over the threshold. Fortunately, she recovered her balance before falling down, then turned to face him. This was not one of the other kids, come to play. Her red-blonde hair was pulled down into a long thick braid, framing her freckled face and brown eyes. She looked slightly embarrassed.

God be with you, she said. My name is Kendel Patterson. That’s K-e-n-d-E-L, Kendel.

Okay, Old-John replied. I’m John Collins. Welcome to LandsEnd.

Old-John thought she was dressed like a princess compared to himself, wearing a flannel shirt and jeans. He could not help glancing beyond her, as if the rest of her retinue were out there, somewhere.

She followed his glance toward the distant trees and said, I saw a large wolf in the forest a short time ago. Have you seen it before?

No, John replied, still looking at the trees. But it shouldn't be a problem. Then he turned his head and looked at her.

Kendel smiled.

The expression on her face was so bright that John suppressed the urge to step back and shade his eyes. He wanted to put on sunglasses, but it would be a useless thing to do; the glare coming from her was not physical light, but intense happiness. He wondered briefly if the world had dulled his own heart to the point where he could no longer tolerate pure joy.

Please, come in, he said. He stepped to one side and held the door open. John thought about her name. Mixing Japanese and Hebrew, the name KEN-d-EL would mean Sword of God, but he could not imagine it; her innocence surrounded her like an aura.

She reached down, picked up the backpack with one arm, swung it to her shoulder and stepped into the entryway. John was impressed. He shut the door while Kendel slipped off her shoes and lined them up beside the others, set the backpack on the floor under the hanging coats, and walked barefoot through the entryway into the living room to the right.

John took three steps through the entryway and paused where he could see into the living room. She had stopped in the center of the dark red, patterned carpet, directly beneath the chandelier hanging three cubits above her head. He watched as she scanned the bookshelves flanking the fireplace and then turned to face him. She smiled with apparent excitement.

I came here to learn from you, she said.

Oh, God, John thought. I can't ... possibly ... do this. ... Can I? He stood at the edge of the room, thinking about it. It still hurt that the last person he trained had apparently given up the way and disappeared into the world. But then, maybe Elaine had not returned because he had not explained everything well enough. Maybe he could explain things in more detail and it would turn out differently. On the other hand, maybe he wouldn't have to. Maybe Kendel had misunderstood something.

John said, Why did you come here? How did you hear of this place?

I was told, 'Go to LandsEnd. Learn from John Collins,' she replied.

John exhaled slowly, relaxing to the inevitable. It was far too simple, and perfectly clear. He walked into the living room, sat down and motioned for Kendel to sit also.

He looked away from the brightness of her smile and asked, How long have you been in Paradise?

Just over 50 K-days, she replied.

So, you’ve been here in Paradise for fifty-thousand days. Can you translate that into World-Time, into years?

The puzzled look on her face, followed by her question, Years? told much about her.

How old were you when you came to Paradise? John asked.

Hesitating slightly, she answered, Just over one.

John closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and let it out slowly as he calculated ... One thousand days is 3 years minus 10%. So 51 thousand days times 3 is 153, minus 15 would be 138 years ...

John opened his eyes, and looked directly at Kendel. Okay, one year is usually only 365 days long. You look like you could be between sixteen and twenty years old, but you are actually about 138 years old. So, if anyone ever asks how old you are, please don’t tell them you are 138 years old. They would think you were lying to them.

Under the intensity of Kendel's gaze, John stopped talking. He looked away. Where was I? Oh yes. What do you know about pain and suffering?

She paused and a look of confusion passed across her face. Well, she said, I read some of the classics, like the book of 'Job' in the Bible where God admits that good people can still suffer. Also, I read 'The Problem of Pain,' and a few other books, but I don’t agree with some of them. And I've watched some PV, but that made me feel kind of sick, so I'm not sure what to think about it.

John closed his eyes. He reached up with both hands and rubbed his forehead, running his fingers through his salt-and-pepper colored hair. He opened his eyes and said, "I understand. The Point-View is very large and very graphic. If you view old news-clips through a small television, it won’t overwhelm you as much.

The real problem, he continued, is trying to answer the question, why is there pain and suffering? Most of the people asking that question don't know the difference between causes and purposes.

She looked puzzled. Causes and purposes?

Causes, said John. Cause and effect, like, whose fault is it that this happened to me? Like, who threw the rock that landed on my head? But purposes are more like reasons or side effects. Something bad may happen, but something good, a purpose or a reason, can still result from it.

Seeing Kendel still looking somewhat confused, John explained. "Remember in the book of John, when Jesus healed the man who was born blind?

"His disciples asked him, 'Who sinned, this man or his parents that he was born blind?' They were asking for a cause, but Jesus answered with a purpose.

"He said, 'It was not this man's sin or his parents that he was born blind, but it was so the works of God could be shown in him.'

"Then Jesus spit in the dirt, put the mud on his eyes and told him to go across town to wash in the pool of Siloam. When the man did that, it healed his eyes and he could see.

Everyone was amazed that he had been healed, and many people praised God for it. So, the answer to the question of why the man was born blind was not a cause, it was a purpose — So Jesus could heal him.

OLD-JOHN! A strong voice echoed through the house, letting its demand settle into the