Something, Maybe
By Elizabeth Scott and Lisa Fyfe
3.5/5
()
About this ebook
I wonder what it would be like to do high school things. To go out on the weekends. To kiss a guy. To have a normal life. A real one.
Everyone thinks their parents are embarrassing, but Hannah knows she's got them all beat. Her dad made a fortune showcasing photos of pretty girls and his party lifestyle all over the Internet, and her mom was once one of her dad's girlfriends and is now the star of her own website. After getting the wrong kind of attention for way too long, Hannah has mastered the art of staying under the radar...and that's just how she likes it.
Of course, that doesn't help her get noticed by her crush. Hannah's sure that gorgeous, sensitive Josh is her soul mate. But trying to get him to notice her; wondering why she suddenly can't stop thinking about another guy, Finn; and dealing with her parents make Hannah feel like she's going crazy. Yet she's determined to make things work out the way she wants -- only what she wants may not be what she needs....
Once again, Elizabeth Scott has created a world so painfully funny and a cast of characters so heartbreakingly real that you'll love being a part of it from unexpected start to triumphant finish.
Elizabeth Scott
Elizabeth Scott grew up in a town so small it didn't even have a post office, though it did boast an impressive cattle population. She's sold hardware and panty hose and had a memorable three-day stint in the dot-com industry, where she learned that she really didn't want a career burning CDs. She lives just outside Washington, DC, with her husband; firmly believes you can never own too many books; and would love it if you visited her website, www.elizabethwrites.com.
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Reviews for Something, Maybe
213 ratings26 reviews
- Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5A sweet teen romance - interesting to read, but the other two I've read by Scott have been edgy and unique, so this one was a bit of a letdown. Hannah is the daughter of a Hugh Hefner-wannabe and the equivalent of a playmate. She and her mother, Candy, live in a small town, and her father lives in New York and isn't much of a father at all. Hannah works as a clerk at BurgerTown to supplement the money Candy makes "chatting" on webcams. Hannah works with two boys, one she really likes and one she can't stand but is clearly the sweeter of the two. It seems to take her way too long to realize what's really happening with these guys, which makes it a little frustrating to read.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Hannah's parents take embarrassment to a whole new level - her aging playboy dad is the star of a reality show and her mom poses as Candy Madison, running a paid website in her negligee. Hannah's perfected the art of being invisible, which is a shame when it comes to the object of her longing, a coworker named Josh. How can Hannah retain her invisibility and still get Josh to ask her out? Is she doomed to be alone forever? This is a really sweet, romantic story and I think it might be my favorite of Elizabeth Scott's (so far, anyway!). It's predictable but in a good way. It's funny and touching and a great feel-good read.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Hannah's mom is a webcam girl and her birth dad is a Hugh Hefner type. Her entire life is an embarrassment through no fault of her own. She is fearful of getting close to anyone for fear that she may open a can of worms that reveals that she is just like her parents. She finds herself swooning over her classmate/co-worker, only to find out that he is nothing like she believed him to be... he actually has a massive crush on her mom ((!!!)) and is a real jerk. BUT the guy that she has found herself thinking/talking about more and more ends up being so much more. :-)
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I thought this was a cute story. It reminded me of Bloom quite a bit. The main character was frustrating at times when I wish she'd open her eyes and pick the right boy, but it wasn't too bad. I also wish the end wrapped up the story of her best friend more (or AT ALL), but the rest of the story was really cute.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Life as a teenager already sucks, but when you’re the product of a playboy and his bunny (now ex), it sucks even more! When Hannah has to wonder if a boy actually likes her or wants to use her as an “in” to meet the Internet vixen also known as her mother, there is a MAJOR problem! Not to mention the whole ICK factor. Hannah has to sift through normal teenager stuff, a pain-in-the-behind job, a longtime crush, a longtime annoyance, a mother who doesn’t do the usual motherly things, and a disappearing father who may have changed his feathers. something, maybe does not have too much going on – nothing too grand at least – and focuses on the basics of a teenaged life. Even the romance is not too intense – simply sweet as Elizabeth Scott has been known to deliver. Hannah proves to be a funny girl who was tragically born into a life where her parents leave much to be desired, although she cannot help but love them. If you are looking for a quiet and sweet book to add to your summer TBR, add this one to the pile!
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5the novel something, maybe encompasses a girl with two famous parent, in the beginning she loves a boy that doesnt even notice her the proagonist struggles with being noticed by him and finding the courage to talk to him, throughout the middle she preserves through finding out that he isnt what she thought he was. by the end she has learned that the boy she loved was always by her side.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5extremely good book. shows how people can be a fake and a liar. would recommend it to all of my friends who read. great book
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5This book is an average book about Hannah who is in high school with a lot of problems that is bringing her down. Her mother works at home talking to people on the net in her underwear. Her real father, Jackson, only talks to Hannah when he needs her for his TV show since it brings more viewers. Her step-father is dead because he had cancer at the last stage. Hannah really likes to be alone, even has only one friend who doesn't even go to her high school. Working at Burger, Palace with one friend who she finds annoying, Finn, and one that she finds her soul mate, Josh. Hannah's father suddenly calls her to come visit her in New York and Hannah doesn't want to be used again. Finn expresses his feelings toward Hannah and Josh seems to be getting more closer to her too. Will Hannah be able to face her dad? Will Hannah fall in love with her friend or her soul mate?
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5It's another fascinating premise from Elizabeth Scott, delivered with elegance that is not typical when dealing with trashy parents such as Hannah's. The romance is reminiscent of that seen in another of Scott's books, Bloom. It too features honest, realistic narration. It's captivatingly written in a gentle style that flows very well. The book is a lot deeper than the book description makes it out to be, filled with blurbs of Hannah's special brand of wisdom, very much like a Sarah Dessen novel. The few characters featured were marvelously characterized in great detail, making them truly come to life. The one thing that did bother me was how strangely similar, romance-wise, the story is to that of Meg Cabot's first Princess Diaries book, dealing with a character with similar motivations and even the same name, as Josh. The love story, as a result, was pretty predictable. It's quick read, with a simple linear story. Something, Maybe defines a dysfunctional family and shows that families truly do come in all different varieties, but no matter what, there can still be familial love. The story is a little unresolved, but with that, it still feels very complete, and the ending is fits perfectly with the rest of the novel.Rating: 4.5/5
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5I guess I started this, because I thought the premise could be interesting. But it turned out so much of the book bugged me. And yet, not enough to not finish. It had a love triangle that I spotted right away. Also loads of the usual teen angst. I found her relationships with her estranged father and her mother interesting, almost like she was the parent, but in very different ways. Her father spends much of their time trying to manipulate her, and her mom is full of bad advice. At one point she even tells her, don’t love anyone. At parts all I could do what shake my head, and wonder how a girl like this could be normal at all. Then it felt to me, like the ending was wrapped up well enough, but abrupt. The best I could say for this book, is it had an original background story. But maybe a girl actually in the young adult reader category would enjoy it more.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5!7-year old Hannah is trying to stay under the radar, which is hard when your mom makes a living through adult entertainment on the internet, and your dad is a famous ageing playboy who lives every moment in front of reality TV cameras. Add in two very different boys, and you get a sweet high school romance, with enough realistic family drama to keep the characters realistic.I enjoyed this story, although I didn't fancy Josh at all, at all. So the two lad dilemma was a no-brainer for me.I'd give this to people looking for a light romance.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Being the daughter of two famous people can definitely have its drawbacks. Hannah is trying to find herself confidence lurking somewhere in the shadows of the bright lights surrounding her parents. Her mother is still grieving over the loss of Hannah's step-father. Her biological father only seems to be interested in her when ratings are low. Hannah is convinced Josh is the perfect guy for her. Finn, a boy at work and school is purely there as an annoyance. Her best friend Teagan cheers her on and tries to be the voice of reason. Will Hannah's efforts to remain invisible fail? In the end will she realize she shines just as bright as those who truly care about her? Definite recommendation from me.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Hannah's whole goal throughout high school has been to remain invisible. Wouldn't you do the same if your mother was a former Playboy Playmate equivalent and your father was the equivalent of Hugh Hefner? So far she's managed ok, but things start to change when her long-time crush, Josh, finally starts talking to her. Yet at the same time she finds herself developing feelings for Finn, a jock who she can't imagine herself liking. Things escalate when her father, who's been out of her life for 5 years, suddenly calls. But does he really want to see her or is he just trying to boost the ratings on his reality show? A humorous look at being embarrassed by your parents.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I suppose the best thing to say to describe my feelings on this book is that I have very mixed feelings about it. I love all of the other Elizabeth Scott books I have read, and this one was no disappointment. It was nicely written and full of things that kept me entertained, such as Hannah's mother who works as a webcam girl, her father who remains absent in her life except for when he needs to promote his show, and Hannah's job at a call center for BurgerTown. But many of the outcomes in this book were predictable, and I found myself very annoyed with Hannah a lot of the time. That's not to say she isn't a likeable character - I enjoyed reading about her quite a bit. But I grew very frustrated when she would talk about how she had no friends and was seen as invisible and a nobody, when it appeared to me that she really wasn't doing that badly. She had her best friend, Teagan, who she spent a lot of time with, and she was able to chat and joke effortlessly with Finn and Josh at her job at the call center. To me, that does not count as not having friends or being seen as a nobody, as all three of these people seemed to enjoy her company quite a bit. She also put zero effort into her appearance, and that annoyed me a bit as well.However, all that being said, I thought that the book had many small redeeming qualities that when put together made for a worthwhile read. It's definitely worth reading at least once, in my opinion, as even with the predictable and annoying parts it was very well-written and quirky enough to be memorable.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5I had heard raving reviews about Elizabeth Scott, but for some reason this book just didn't amaze me. If I had a word for it, it'd be "Meh." I'm hoping Elizabeth Scott will surprise me when I read another one of her books. So, overall the plot was pretty great, the idea was there. There were lots of unexpected twists and turns like *SPOILER ALERT* The guy she was crushing on having the hots for her mom.*END SPOILER* But the delivery just wasn't right, there was nothing "special" about her writing. And I could have loved her characters more, especially Finn, if she wasn't lacking in the delivery. Because Finn was like a cute puppy dog, and I really liked him. Also, the book was very short, 215 pages, so I think it was just difficult for her to pack everything in to that small amount of pages, everything just went so fast. In conclusion, the book had the potential to be great, but it just didn't amaze me.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Elizabeth Scott is a favorite author with my high school girls...they will love this one too! This is quite a change from Living Dead Girl; this is quirky and funny in places. Teens will identify with Hannah as she attempts to become invisible at school to avoid being humiliated. Great read.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5I kept hearing about Elizabeth Scott's books and when I saw Something, Maybe sitting on the library self I had to pick it up. The story was cute but pretty predictable. I loved Finn and thought he was the sweetest guy despite Hannah's obliviousness towards his feelings. I mean come on, was she really that blinded by her infatuation with Josh? Despite that it was an enjoyable story and I think a lot of readers would be able to relate to her aversion to taking the risk of putting her feelings out there. While not one of my favorite YA romance books it was nonetheless a quick, fun read.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I've really enjoyed Elizabeth Scott's other chick lit titles, so I was prepared to enjoy this one as well. For some reason it seemed too short and not well developed, unfortunately - maybe the story she wanted to tell wasn't suited to the shorter format. Hannah, the main character, is dealing with some serious emotional fallout from an inattentive famous father who has a habit of using her; the death of a beloved stepfather; a mother who seems to basically do softcore internet porn; a crush on a useless tool of a boy; etc. She's got "issues." I liked Hannah, but her character wasn't as defined for me as heroines of previous Scott titles; she's sort of wishy washy and oblivious - diffuse. I felt for her, but I didn't feel her, if you get my drift.Nevertheless, it was an enjoyable 2-3 hours that I spent reading it, and I'll definitley seek out Scott's other titles.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Title: Something, Maybe Author: Elizabeth Scott Publisher: Simon Pulse Number Of Pages: 217Summary From Jacket Flap: I wonder what it would be like to do high school things. To go out on the weekends. To kiss a guy. To have a normal life. A real one. Everyone thinks their parents are embarrassing, but Hannah knows she’s got them all beat. Her dad made a fortune showcasing photos of pretty girls and his party lifestyle all over the internet, and her mom was once one of her dad’s girlfriends and is now the star of her own website. After getting the wrong kind of attention for way too long, Hannah has mastered the art of staying under the radar..and that’s just how she likes it. Of course, that doesn’t help her get noticed by her crush. Hannah’s sure that the gorgeous, sensitive Josh is her soul mate. But trying to get him to notice her; wondering why she suddenly can’t stop thinking about another guy, Finn ; and dealing with her parents make Hannah feel like she’s going crazy. Yet she’s determined to make things work out the way she wants-only what she wants may not be what see needs…. Once again, Elizabeth Scott has created a world so painfully funny and a cast of characters so heartbreakingly real that you’ll love being a part of it from unexpected start to triumphant finish.Review: I have never read anything by Elizabeth Scott before but I want to read every book she has written now! I loved Something, Maybe because I felt like I was there with Hannah experiencing what she was experiencing and because the writing was fantastic. I loved the characters and I think they are really well developed . It was a really great love story that I think I will have my friends read because it is really, really good! I hope there is a sequel. Overall I think that it is an awesome love story.I recommend this book if you like romance, Elizabeth Scott novels, and Young Adult novels.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Summary: 17-year-old Hannah tries not to get noticed. But with a mom who makes a living wearing skimpy clothes in front of a webcam, and an estranged 70-year-old dad with a reality TV show featuring him and scantily clad “special girls,” it can be hard not to come across as a freak. When Hannah finally wants someone to notice her—namely her crush Josh—will the right things get noticed?Review: This was a sweet story. I really wanted to fall in love with it like other YA book bloggers are doing, but I didn’t. I didn’t dislike it, but it was just okay for me.Putting on my writer hat, here are the reasons I think this one fell short: * Predictable—You can see the plot turns coming a mile away. I don’t mind that with middle-grade novels, but in YA I want to be surprised, at least once. * Kind of slow—The first half dragged for me. It seemed like Hannah was just shuffling between work, school, and driving around with her best friend while they deconstructed her love life.On the other hand, it’s hard to beat a first line like this!"Everyone’s seen my mother naked."
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5All Hannah James wants is to be a normal teenager. But it’s not easy when your father is Jackson James, a sleazy celebrity famous for partying at his mansion with beautiful women, or as he calls them, his “special girls” (scantily clad young women who parade around with little on or sometimes nothing at all). Her mom, Candy Madison, a former “special girl”, makes her living by doing live web chats in her lingerie. With eccentric parents like hers, Hannah only wants to fly under the radar at school and avoid the inevitable whispers, insults and stares from the other teenagers. She tries to be invisible by dressing in baggy clothes and wearing no makeup. Money is tight, so she also works at a call center along with best guy friend Finn and the dreamy Josh. Josh is the only person Hannah does want to notice her. He’s a deep “thinker” who writes poetry and reads Dostoyevsky, but every time she tries to talk to him, Finn annoyingly interrupts and ruins the moment. But the more Hannah does get to know Josh, the more she wonders wonder why she’s always thinking about Finn. Guess sometimes what you want, really isn't what you need, right?Hannah was such a well constructed character. She was a strong, intelligent young woman with a sharp biting wit, and her voice was completely believable for someone her age. Elizabeth Scott really knows how to capture teenage voices and put them into believable dialogue. The following are two of my favorite excerpts from Hannah’s narration. The humorous way she relays everything going on around her was so entertaining-"Josh doesn't date guys like me. He dates tall, skinny, dark-haired girls who care about political causes and social injustice and wear short, gauzy dresses that I could never get away with wearing. Ever. Plus they always have cool names like Arugula or Micah." (Page 10"Josh tries to shrug, but ends up looking all broken and sad. I know this is terrible, but he looks amazing when he’s miserable. He also looks like he needs someone to help put him back together, and I so want that someone to be me!" (Page 101)From the start of this novel, it was completely obvious which guy was best for Hannah. But I was so drawn in by the passion and skill of Scott's writing that it held my interest and made for an entertaining ride. I enjoyed the love triangle between Hannah, Josh and Finn. As an outsider looking in, it was easy to recognize how phony Josh was, but I could also relate to why Hannah would be infatuated with him. In fact, I imagine I would’ve easily felt the same way myself at seventeen! Finn had real heart and soul though, and he was always the one I rooted for. It was so satisfying to read how his relationship with Hannah evolved, and so sweet how he would blush so quickly around her, or get all tongue tied. He really "got" Hannah and I loved how quick he was to defend her or help her smile when she needed a friend.The unusual family dynamics of the book definitely made for a unique read, and I appreciated the way Scott dealt with the deeper issues of love and loss in a sincere way and didn’t have to resort to clichés. It was also impressive how well adjusted Hannah was for someone with such unorthodox parental figures. Her empty relationship with Jackson was downright sorrowful though. He treated her with a detached, flighty sort of affection. The worst part being that everything was captured on film and manipulated by his reality tv crew into whatever ratings spin he was looking for. After witnessing those antics, it was easy to understand how Hannah needed to have something consistent in her life to depend on. I could easily put myself in her shoes and imagine how hard it would be to take risks, especially growing up with the type of lifestyles her parents were leading.The character of her best friend Teagan added an interesting dynamic to the book as well. While dealing with her own insecurities, Teagan was not afraid to shoot from the heart, and tell Hannah what was best for her. Those types of friends are priceless, and when you’re a teenager, you need a solid support system like that more than anything. BOTTOM LINE: This was my first Elizabeth Scott novel. After completing it, I understood why she is such a popular teen romance novelist and I can’t wait to read more of her books. Something Maybe was an endearing, feel good read that will definitely evoke a happy sigh from readers at the end, and I’d highly recommend it.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5This book was really cute, and I enjoyed the characters.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Kind of book I'd want to read during summer! Which I did :) and finished in a day.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5awesome book
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Jnj
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Feelings can change...
Book preview
Something, Maybe - Elizabeth Scott
one
Everyone’s seen my mother naked.
Well, mostly naked. Remember that ad that ran during the Super Bowl, the one where a guy calls and orders a pizza and opens the door to see a naked lady with an open pizza box (The pizza that’s so hot it can’t be contained!
) covering the bits you still aren’t allowed to see on network television?
That was her. Candy Madison, once one of Jackson James’ girlfriends, and star of the short-lived sitcom Cowboy Dad. Now she’s reduced to the (very rare) acting job or ad, but she was relatively famous (or infamous) for a few days after the football game with a pre-game show that lasts longer than the actual game.
Whoo.
You might think the ad caused me nothing but grief at school, but aside from a few snide comments from the sparkly girls (you know the type: unnaturally white teeth, shining hair, personalities of rabid dogs) and some of the jock jerks (who, of course, were watching the game, and like both pizza and naked women—not a stretch to figure they’d be interested), no one else said anything to me.
But then, no one really talks to me. That’s good, though. I’ve worked long and hard to be invisible at Slaterville High, an anonymous student in the almost 2,000 that attend, and I want it to stay that way. (The school website actually boasts that we’re larger than some colleges. I guess overcrowding is a good thing now.)
However, the ad has caused me nothing but grief at home. When it aired, traffic to Mom’s site, candymadison.net, tripled, and she worked to keep it coming back, giving free chats
(where she sits around in lingerie and answers questions about her so-called career and Jackson), and pushing her self-published autobiography, Candy Madison: Taking It All Off. We actually sold ten of the twenty-five cases of the thing stacked in our garage.
And the press coverage? Mom loved it. The ad only ran once, because some senator’s kid saw it and…you know where I’m going, right?
Of course you do, and naturally, the ad became extremely popular online. Celeb Weekly magazine did five questions with her, and Mom pushed her website and book and then talked about how she was always looking for interesting, quirky character roles.
The week it ran, Mom bought ten copies of the magazine at the grocery store and wandered around the house grinning and flapping the interview at me. The phone rang almost hourly, her brand-new agent calling with offers (mostly for work involving no clothing, which Mom turned down) and an invitation to appear on a talk show.
Not a classy talk show, mind you, but still, it was a talk show. She said yes until she found out the show was about Moms Who Get Naked: Live! Nude! Moms!
and backed out. Not because she objected to being called a mom. Or because she knew—because I’d told her so—that I’d die if she did it.
It was the nude
thing.
I’ve never done any nude work!
she said to her agent. I’m an artist, an actress—all right, yes, the ad. But I was wearing a pizza box! I want to be taken seriously. What about getting me on the talk show with the woman who says ‘Wow!’ all the time and gives her audience free cars? I could talk to her.
The Wow!
lady wasn’t interested, Mom’s new agent stopped calling, and today, when we go to the supermarket, Celeb Weekly doesn’t have her picture in it.
I don’t understand,
she says. I got so much e-mail from my fans after that interview, and they all said they’d write to the magazine and ask for more. Do you think I wasn’t memorable enough?
I look at her, dressed in a tight, bright pink T-shirt with CANDYMADISON.NET in sequins across the front, and a white skirt that barely skims the tops of her thighs. Her shoes have heels that could probably be used to pierce things.
You’re very memorable, Mom. Did you get the bread?
I don’t eat bread.
Is she pouting? It’s hard to tell. She’s had a lot of chemicals injected into her face.
I know, but I do,
I say, and take the Celeb Weekly she thrusts at me.
Sorry,
she says. I’m just in a bad mood. They could have at least run one picture!
I know, but they…
I say, and trail off because there’s Mom, in the back of the magazine under Fashion Disasters!
The picture of her they’re running was taken at the premiere of a play she did way (way) off Broadway a week ago. The play ran for exactly one night. She played a nun (now you see why the play lasted one night) and wore a dress with what she called strategic cutouts
to a party afterward.
The caption under the picture reads, Note to Candy Madison: Sometimes pizza boxes ARE more flattering!
What?
Mom says, trying to look at the magazine again. Did I miss something? Is there a picture of me? Or, wait—is Jackson in there?
Um…Jackson,
I tell her, and she looks at me, then pulls the magazine out of my hands and sees the picture.
And then she starts jumping up and down. Never mind that everyone in the grocery store is watching her even more than they usually do, most with resigned Oh, why must she live HERE
expressions on their faces, and a few with Oh, I hope she jumps higher because that skirt is covering less and less
grins.
I’ll go get the bread,
I say, and get away. She’ll be done jumping when I get back because she’ll have seen the caption. At least this means we won’t have to buy ten copies of the magazine. I would rather have food than look at pictures of celebrities. (Call me crazy, but I just think it’s a better choice.)
I am glad it was a picture of Mom (though I wish it was a better one) because I would so rather look at her than Jackson James, founder of jacksonjamesonline.com, the home of JJ’s Girls, and current star of JJ: Dreamworld. He’s 72, acts like he’s 22, and once upon a time Mom had a child with him. Check out any online encyclopedia (or gossip site) if you don’t believe me. The photo you see—and it’s always the same photo—is of me and Jackson. It was taken when I was a baby, but still. It’s out there.
When I get back, Mom has seen what they said about her, but still wants a copy of the magazine.
I don’t think that many people look at the captions, do you?
she says as we’re heading out into the parking lot, stroking the glossy cover of Celeb Weekly. I can’t believe I’m in here again.
Her smile is so beautiful, so glowing. So happy.
Mom almost never looks happy. Not really.
I bet plenty of people will see the picture,
I say, which isn’t a lie. I’m sure plenty of people will. But I bet they’ll read what’s under it too. She doesn’t need to hear that, though. Not now. I put the last of the groceries in her car and say, I’ll see you after work, okay?
She nods, and when she hugs me, I tug her shirt down.
two
When you’re a 17-year-old girl living in a town famous for nothing but its proximity to the interstate and enormous collection of strip malls and subdivisions, there aren’t a lot of high-powered job opportunities.
There are, however, many—many—jobs in the fast food industry, and one of them is mine. I work for BurgerTown USA (a division of PhenRen Co., which makes fertilizer—tell me that doesn’t make you think twice about your BurgerTown Big Bite) as a drive-thru order specialist.
In other words, people tell me what they want to eat, I type in the appropriate code/key, and then read them their automated total. The catch is, I don’t actually do it at the restaurant.
When you go to a BurgerTown in New York or California or Massachusetts or Wyoming or Georgia (really, anywhere except Hawaii and Alaska), your drive-thru order comes to a call center like mine, and I’m the one who takes your request for extra-large fries.
Well, me or one of my moronic coworkers (this doesn’t include Josh).
BurgerTown has these call centers because of cost-efficiency,
which basically means they want on-site BurgerTown employees—the ones stuck in the actual restaurants—to have more time available to wipe off tables. Or mop floors. Or clean bathrooms. Management is very proud of the fact that they no longer need to hire outside cleaning crews.
Needless to say, on-site BurgerTown employees don’t like us call center employees much. Mom once mentioned I worked for BurgerTown when she was cheating on her diet of the moment by eating fries, but reported that, The girl who took my order made a face when I said you worked in the call center.
Did your food taste funny?
I asked.
Funny how?
Mom said. Hey, have you seen my red, white, and blue thong?
Never mind,
I said, but if I ever go to BurgerTown—which I won’t, because I’m so sick of asking people if they want fries or pies or Big Bite combos that the thought of eating there makes me not hungry, which usually takes some serious effort—I wouldn’t say I worked at the drive-thru center. Ever.
Why?
Well, you see, saying something like that is a surefire way to get the BurgerTown special—the spit meal.
We even have a secret code for it at the center. When someone’s a real ass, the kind of person who says, Now, what kind of meat do you use in your hamburgers? Will my tomato be fresh? Oh, and I want two pieces of lettuce, not one. And make it fast, ’cause I’m in a hurry!
we put in their order and then hit**.
It’s just one of those things you find out after you’ve worked at BurgerTown for a while (all right, a day) and everyone does it.
Well, not everyone.
Josh, my coworker and soul mate (though he doesn’t know it yet) says that eating at BurgerTown is punishment enough.
All that meat and grease and saturated fat destroys your body,
he says, and I totally agree with him, really, but sometimes after I’ve dealt with a total jerkass who thinks ordering $4 worth of food means I owe them an ingredient reading or whatever—well, sometimes they still get the special.
Finn gives them too, which really does mean I should stop because Finn is so—well, he’s your average 17-year-old Slaterville male, and they can be described in one word. Bleagh. Unlike Josh, Finn’s interests don’t include making plans to help others, and as far as I can tell, his favorite thing to do is be annoying, especially to me. I’m pretty good at ignoring him.
Anyone seen Polly today?
he asks. Josh? Hannah?
Josh and I shake our heads and Finn grins at me. She must be on break.
I laugh. (Okay, I’m mostly pretty good at ignoring Finn.)
Josh doesn’t laugh, and I sigh, wishing I could be serious like him. But the Polly thing is funny. She’s always on break
because even though she supposedly works here, she’s actually only been here a couple of times. I can understand why she doesn’t come in, though. She’s 22, her claim to fame is that she was once home-coming queen, and now she works (well, works
) here. Some life.
She gets away with never being here because her father, Greg, is our boss, and I think he’s afraid to call her out on how she doesn’t work because it would mean discussing Polly’s favorite activity, which is hanging out with her 47-year-old married boyfriend, whose wife just happens to be Greg’s wife’s younger sister.
It’s like a soap opera, only more boring because Polly is about as smart as a sponge and Greg spends his workday sitting in his closet of an office smoking pot.
Adults are so classy.
That’ll be $10.22,
Josh says, and smiles at me as he checks to make sure the order went through. I guess he doesn’t think I’m awful for laughing about Polly. Good.
I know I’ve already mentioned this, but Josh really is my soul mate. He’s smart, kind, and, best of all, isn’t a complete dog like every other guy in the whole world.
Josh cares about things. He writes poetry (I’ve seen him working on it in Government), and is always going to coffee shops for political/social discussions.
He even reads—he’s always carrying around huge novels with tiny print and the kind of covers you only see on books you have to read for school. But he reads them because he cares about his mind. I love that.
He’s also pretty cute.
Okay, he’s gorgeous. Hard-not-to-stare-at gorgeous. He’s got black hair and deep brown eyes and the most beautiful smile. Plus he’s tall—but not too tall—and thin (but not scrawny), and he’s just. so. out. of. my. league.
Josh doesn’t date girls like me. He dates tall, skinny, dark-haired girls who care about political causes and social injustice and wear short, gauzy dresses that I could never get away with wearing. Ever. Plus they always have cool names like Arugula or Micah.
Hannah is not a cool name. Hannah is an ordinary name.
I actually wish Hannah was my only name.
But it isn’t. My mother, in all her wisdom
—and because she was facing a paternity suit—named me Hannah Jackson James. Before I moved to Slaterville, I never thought about my name. It hadn’t mattered before. Not at school, and definitely not to Mom or José, who was my stepfather. I even…well, I even sort of liked it.
I didn’t like it when we moved here. Jackson was more popular back then; his website and his castle and his collection of girlfriends weren’t quite the joke they are now, but in Slaterville, which prides itself on being a sunny, welcoming community (there are actually signs when you get off the interstate)—well, let’s just say some people didn’t want Jackson James’ former girlfriend or his kid around.
Mom didn’t care—she was dealing with other stuff then—but me? I cared. Teachers raised eyebrows. Kids in my new seventh-grade classes said—well, they said a lot of things. Mostly about Jackson, which didn’t bother me because, by then, I hated him.
But some of the stuff was about Mom, and that did bother me.
It went away after a while. Not until I’d had a miserable time in seventh and eighth grade, not until I’d decided to become invisible girl, but it did go away. And now, if someone does say something, I can handle it.
The thing is, though, I would love a normal mom. A mom with a job that doesn’t involve sitting around in her underwear reminiscing about how one time she and Jackson went to a club and had sex on