Carniepunk
By Rachel Caine, Rob Thurman, Kevin Hearne and
3.5/5
()
About this ebook
Come one, come all! The Carniepunk Midway promises you every thrill and chill a traveling carnival can provide. But fear not! Urban fantasy’s biggest stars are here to guide you through this strange and dangerous world. . . .
RACHEL CAINE’s vampires aren’t child’s play, as a naïve teen discovers when her heart leads her far, far astray in “The Cold Girl.” With “Parlor Tricks,” JENNIFER ESTEP pits Gin Blanco, the Elemental Assassin, against the Wheel of Death and some dangerously creepy clowns. SEANAN McGUIRE narrates a poignant, ethereal tale of a mysterious carnival that returns to a dangerous town after twenty years in “Daughter of the Midway, the Mermaid, and the Open, Lonely Sea.” KEVIN HEARNE’s Iron Druid and his wisecracking Irish wolfhound discover in “The Demon Barker of Wheat Street” that the impossibly wholesome sounding Kansas Wheat Festival is actually not a healthy place to hang out. With an eerie, unpredictable twist, ROB THURMAN reveals the fate of a psychopath stalking two young carnies in “Painted Love.”
Rachel Caine
Rachel Caine (1962–2020) was the New York Times–, USA Today–, and #1 Wall Street Journal–bestselling author of more than fifty books across multiple genres, from adult thriller to urban fantasy/science fiction, as well as works for young adults. With millions of copies sold, she was a frequent guest at conventions in the United States and around the world. Her popular book series include the Morganville Vampires novels, the Great Library series, and the #1-bestselling Stillhouse Lake books. Caine lost her fight with a rare and aggressive cancer, soft tissue sarcoma, in November of 2020.
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Reviews for Carniepunk
122 ratings12 reviews
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5This is a collection of urban fantasy stories; they all have some sort of a carnival theme to them. Most of the collection was pretty good. Like with all of these anthology collections there were a few stories that were amazing and a few that I intensely disliked.My favorites were “The Three Lives of Lydia” by Dawson (this is set in the world of Sang which I adore), “The Cold Girl” by Rachel Caine (just an amazing story), “Hell’s Menagerie” by Kelly Gay (this was set in the Charlie Madigan world which I love and was a great story), and “Daughter of the Midway, the Mermaid, and the Open, Lonely Sea” by Seanan McGuire (I am a huge McGuire fan and loved this story).Overall this is a decent collection of urban fantasy stories from some of the most popular UF authors out there. I enjoyed the dark carnival theme throughout. You can see below for ratings and brief descriptions of each story.“Painted Love” by Rob Thurman (4/5 stars)This was an interesting story about an entity that likes to experience humanity. When he accidentally gets involved with a sociopath he takes matters into his own hands. I enjoyed this; it was creative and creepy.“The Three Lives of Lydia” by Delilah S. Dawson (5/5 stars)I always love revisiting the world of Sang...Dawson writes amazing short stories (I like them better than her full length novels). This was beautifully written and very dark. It follows Lydia and Charlie’s story. I absolutely loved it.“The Demon Barker of Wheat Street by Kevin Hearne (4/5 stars)A great short story featuring Atticus and Granuaile going to a carnival that is not what it seems. Very fun and well written. This was a great addition to the Iron Druid Chronicles“The Sweeter the Juice” by Mark Henry (2/5 stars)I didn’t really like this one. It was set in a post-apocalyptic zombie world and features drug addicted trannies tracking down a new drug that is supposed to truly transform them. It was weird and hard to read and not enjoyable.“The Werewife” by Jaye Wells (4/5 stars)I liked the irony of this story; it was darkly humorous and interesting. It’s about a guy who is exasperated with his wife-turned-werewolf.“The Cold Girl” by Rachel Caine (5/5 stars)This was a really good story about a girl stuck in a relationship with an abusive boyfriend. When she finds out about some very dark secrets of his, her life is in danger. However, the boyfriend gets exactly what he deserves in the end. This was a very good story and I really loved it.“A Duet with Darkness” by Allison Pang (4/5 stars)This was a decent urban fantasy story about a woman who has magic powers related to hearing music. She is apparently bound to a demon already but is tempted with a magical violin by another demon. This was beautifully written and a well done story.“Recession of the Divine” by Hillary Jacques (2/5 stars)This is about a woman named Olivia who is trying to eke out a living as an insurance adjuster. However it ends up Olivia isn’t exactly mortal. I didn’t really like this story much it was boring and I almost stopped reading it a couple times.“Parlor Tricks” by Jennifer Estep (3/5 stars)This is a quick story about Gin and Bria going to a carnival to find a missing teen. What they find is an expert Air Elemental. This was okay; this set in the Elemental Assassin world.“Freak House” by Kelly Meding (4/5 stars)This is about a half djinn heroine who goes to a super expensive freak show to find her djinn father. I assume this is some background around how the heroine got into Para law enforcement but I am not sure. This would have probably been better with some more background on the heroine. It was a well done and entertaining story though.“The Inside Man” by Nicole Peeler (4/5 stars)This was a super creepy clown story that I enjoyed. It features some of the side characters from the Jane True series as they go to investigate a case for a manticore who hires them.“A Chance in Hell” by Jackie Kessler (3/5 stars)This story was okay but definitely not my favorite. It’s about an ex-succubus who has to save her friend from a demon at a carnival who is trying to steal her friend’s soul. Lots of sex in this one and not all that easy to read. I was a fan of Kessler’s Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse series but this story wasn’t great.“Hell’s Menagerie” by Kelly Gay (5/5 stars)I love the Charlie Madigan series and it was wonderful to revisit this world. This story features Emma (Charlie’s daughter) and Emma’s “father” Rex. They venture into Charbydon to rescue some Hellhound puppies. This was a bittersweet story that I really enjoyed. It was great to watch Emma coming in to her own powers.“Daughter of the Midway, the Mermaid, and the Open, Lonely Sea” by Seanan McGuire (5/5 stars)I also loved this story. I am a huge fan of McGuire and really enjoy her writing style. This was an excellent story about a teen who is fighting against becoming a mermaid. Her mother is part of a traveling carnival and has already succumbed to mermaidism. This was beautifully written.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5AN S&S anthology of S&S authors, set to a carnie theme. Good assortment of tales, mostly dark fantasy (set to YA, Urban Fantasy, etc.). The opening and closing stories were the best, "Painted Love" by Rob Thurman and "Daughter of the Midway, the Mermaid, and the Open, Lonely Sea" by Seanan McGuire. Also enjoyed Delilah S. Dawson, Allison Pang, Rachel Caine, and... heck, all of them were enjoyable in one way or another. Many were tie-in stories to the authors' novel series. Good recommendation. 4.25 out of 5 stars.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A solid set of stories revolving around the midways, freak show tents and rides of the ever magical traveling carnival. The lights may glitter and the games may beckon, but watch where you walk and who you talk to, or you may never go home again. Of course, in this world the carnival's no safer for its crew....Not a happy, happy, joy, joy read - although the carnage and violence might make Ren & Stimpy giggle. Standouts for me: Rob Thurman's, which opens the book, Kevin Hearne's druid's outing in the heartland, and Seanan McGuire's mermaid tale. The others, while eminently readable tend to blur in my memory. Worth borrowing, but not necessarily buying.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Normally with any anthology they’ll be a few stories I like and some I either hate or just don’t get. ‘Carniepunk’ is an exception; there are a few stories I love, a lot I like and none I hate or don’t get. I’m not sure if it’s because of the subject matter or because of which authors have work included in it, but this is a great collection. These carnival themed stories are very dark, but, for the most part, not gruesome. The only annoyance I found was that a number of the stories were set in worlds that are the settings of series and had some presumption that the reader would be familiar with that world; on the other hand, these stories provided an introduction to some series I might follow up on.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A wide range of stories, all with a carnival or side show as part of the theme. We’ve got things that happen due to who runs or works at the carnival as well as the carnival just being the setting for where something takes place. I currently read or had read books by 6 of the 14 authors, but after reading this found 4 or 5 others I wouldn’t mind checking out. For most of the stories it’s the side show that’ll get you. All are a decent length for being short stories and there are plenty of good authors to discover in this book. Painted Lot by Rob Thurman. Not related to any current series. 2.5 stars. Doodle, a world traveler that hooks up with someone for a couple of weeks just to observe and experience, is spending time with a psychopath carnival worker who has marked his next victim. The story is heavy on philosophy and we don’t get much of a picture on Doodle. Didn’t do much for me.The Three Lives of Lydia by Delilah S Dawson. Part of the Blud (steampunk) series. 4 stars. A woman wakes up naked in another world full of vampires, werewolves and other scary things, but for the first time has met someone who sees the real her. The story goes from decent to really good when the story twists and we learn Lydia’s true story. The Demon Barker of Wheat Street by Kevin Hearne. Iron Druid Chronicles. 4 stars. A druid, his female apprentice and his telepathic dog attend the Wheat Street Festival while out of town and find the side show is run by demons with a much darker agenda than just taking an entrance fee. The magic is not wild or flashy – and not even always available as they fight for their lives to shut them down. I do read this series and it makes a nice edition. The Sweeter the Juice by Mark Henry. This doesn’t appear to be related to any series. Horror. 2 stars. The story takes place after an apocalyptic zombie plague where zombies are still attacking and the barter system is left in its wake. A transgender must find a drug as barter for her doctor to continue treatments and it can only be found in Coney Island. I give it only 2 stars because I don’t enjoy reading horror and I felt uncomfortable during the entire story. I know that some will feel that “uncomfortable” is what makes a horror a story good and would rate this higher.Werewife by Jaye Wells. . This doesn’t appear to be related to any series. 4 stars. A wife became a werewolf after a visit to the carnival a year ago and full moons are rather stressful for her husband. So when the carnival comes around again, he wants to go and get some answers. Told from the husband’s point of view which is a nice twist on a werewolf story. The Cold Girl by Rachel Caine. Not sure if this is related to a series. 3 stars. A girl learns the guy she’s been in love with for years has a different side she discovers when looking in his phone while at the carnival. In this case the carnival and the person running it aren’t necessarily the scariest things around. Liked the outcome.A Duet With Darkness by Allison Pang. From the Abby Sinclair series. 3.5 stars. Mel is a musical prodigy who can see music and notes as colors—she has Wild Magic—and joined a band instead of the normal path a talented violinist would take. She longs to shine but is held back on purpose by her partner, a fallen angel. But the lure of playing a special violin at the carnival… well pride is a sin. I found the story interesting. Recession of the Divine by Hillary Jacques. Unknown if this is related to anything else. 2 stars. A loss assessment contractor investigates fire damage at a game booth at a carnival and it’s obvious something bad is going on. She’s taken captive when they realize she sees people’s memories and her captor wants to use her to get rich. He has no clue who or what she is. I found the story confusing as there isn’t a clear delineation between the memories picked up and what’s actually happening. But I’m reading an ARC, so perhaps some of that will be edited yet.Parlor Tricks by Jennifer Estep. Elemental Assassin series. 3 stars. Detective Bria Coolidge asks her sister, the assassin known as the Spider, to join her at the carnival while she asks questions about a missing teen last seen at the carnival the night before. Gin’s elemental skills are needed to save themselves when they learn the truth. A decent addition to the series.Freak House by Kelly Meding. A Strays short story. 4 stars. Shiloh’s djinn father is missing and she gets a lead on him in Denver and has to hook up with Julius who was contracted to locate a missing leprechaun when they learn of an exclusive traveling show of freaks that only the rich are invited to see. I’m new to this author but out of all of the stories in this anthology, this one presents the background information in the best manner. I enjoyed the writing style and the story.The Inside Man by Nicole Peeler. A Jane True short story. 4 stars. When the biggest, meanest supernatural boss in Chicago tells the gals at Triptych they need to discover why his sister and everyone in her town seems to have become dull with no memories, they really can’t say no. They find a clown enthralling entire towns and taking their memories. This story has a much different feel than the others in this anthology. Not only with what’s happening, but how the girls deal with the situation. A Chance in Hell by Jackie Kessler. A Hell on Earth story. 3.5 stars. A former succubus is dragged to the carnival by her roommate who is teaching her how to be more human when she notices the barker is a demon of greed who would like nothing more than getting his hands on her new shiny soul. As always, the author injects humor throughout the story.Hell’s Menagerie by Kelly Gay. A Charlie Madigan story. 4 stars. Teenage Emma heads off into Charbydon (hell) knowing she’ll get in trouble with her mother, Charlie, along with the school for using their portal to get there. But the puppies and their mother of a hellhound she’s close to have been kidnapped and Brim, the hellhound tracks them to a menagerie at a carnival filled with creatures that wouldn’t be allowed on Earth. Emma is determined to release all of the creatures. I’ve missed that last book or two. Emma comes into her own in this story; finally understanding how to use her powers. I’ll have to go back and read the books I missed.Daughter of the Midway, the Mermaid, and the Open, Lonely Sea by Seanan McGuire. Unrelated to a series. 3 stars. Ada grew up in the Miller Family Carnival, the daughter of a mermaid who is their side show headliner. Problems arise for Ada when the carnival returns to the town where her mother joined the carnival almost 18 years ago. It’s not the carnie folks that are creepy in this story.Read as an ARC provided by Edelweiss/Above the Treeline.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I was supplied with an early release copy of the book via NetGalley.This anthology was a challenge for me based on premise alone. Even when I was a kid, I was not a fan of circuses or carnivals. I have never had a clown phobia or anything like that, but something about those places has always carried a creepy vibe for me. So reading an entire anthology about carnivals? Oooh boy. I was creeped out before I even started reading. The good thing about short stories is that I can read in small bites. For many anthologies like this, there tend to be a few stand-out stories and the rest are mediocre. I was really impressed by what Carniepunk offered. There were only a few stories that left me feeling confused or meh or were straight out too dark for my liking, but I enjoyed about 3/4 of the lot. Some were so outstanding that now I want to read more by those authors. I also want to note that all of the stories here are on the dark side of urban fantasy. This isn't light and fluffy stuff. It's about souls and demons and midways that lead straight to hell (or are in hell to start).To elaborate on a few of my favorites:- "Daughter of the Midway, the Mermaid, and the Open, Lonely Sea" by Seanan McGuire. This story ended the book, and wow, there's a reason for that. It's beautiful and tragic, and offers a completely fresh take on mermaids. I also liked that it came from the perspective of someone in the circus family.- "The Demon Barker of Wheat Street" by Kevin Hearne. Kevin is a friend of mine, and I love his Iron Druid series. This was a fun tale with Atticus, Oberon, and Granuaile and a carnival that offers options far more unhealthy than deep fried Twinkies.- "Freak House" by Kelly Meding. I haven't read any of Meding's novels, and this story really piqued by interest in her world. Her half-djinn protagonist has some unique powers, and I just plain loved the voice.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5This is probably one of the creepiest anthologies I’ve read. I think there are only 2 stores that I skipped. Not because they were bad or anything, but one didn’t appeal to me, and the other, I have a healthy fear of clowns, and I just couldn’t do it.
This anthology is sure to keep you on your toes. I absolutely loved the Jaye Wells short story. It was twisted, and awesome. Also if you read the one by Jennifer Estep, make sure you’ve read to at least book 4 in the Elemental Assassin’s series, otherwise there are big spoilers. I plan on picking up books by some of these authors, especially Kevin Hearne.
I love how every story had the carnival aspect to it. Some of them the whole event didn’t take place at a carnival, but that’s where the dilemma began, or ended. There’s just something about carnivals that makes them seem magical.
I highly suggest this book. You’ll find yourself wanting to join in the festivities, or run in fear. - Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5My library was offering several short stories as audio books so I gave it a try.
I read a lot of Seanan’s McGuire’s stuff and I wasn’t disappointed in this at all. It is a standalone story and give a good sense of what makes a great writer. The story covers a teen girl whose mother is a real mermaid with the carnival she travels with. As the story unfolds you find out that this is the only life she has ever known and everyone is family. But they have returned to a town they haven’t been to in 17 years and some people have a long memory. A good buildup and a bittersweet ending to this story. - Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5Too dark for me, but I read most of them and quite enjoyed the Kevin Hearne, Rachel Caine and Seanan McGuire stories.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Kevin Hearne (THE IRON DRUID series) had announced he was a contributor to this anthology a few months before the release date, and so I felt compelled to get it. Especially since it had a short story from the IRON DRUID series Hearne writes. However, seeing that it had several authors I have read, it added to value of what I was getting. This was a great read, each story having something to do with carnivals, whether it was twisted and dark, or revenge, or finding a missing person. Hearne's contribution sticks out to me, as does Estep's short of the ELEMENTAL ASSASSIN. As usual, there were a couple stories that didn't hit the mark for me, but overall, was a good read - even if you are afraid of clowns!
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5That was far too brief :-)
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Very well done to all the authors on here! I love how the varied stories, stacked themselves, one on top of the other, to convey the sheer exhilaration of attending a carnival, and the fact that all may not be as it seems, at the same time. Visit at your own peril! I’d go anyway!! Thanks!!
Book preview
Carniepunk - Rachel Caine
Painted Love
Rob Thurman
Love is a bitch.
There’s no getting around it.
But I’ll get to that later.
First . . . first came Bartholomew.
On any given day someone can be a hundred different people. I’m not talking Sybil here, and no voices in the head, but no one is singular within themselves. They’re good . . . help a little old lady with her groceries. They’re bad . . . steal a magazine from a newsstand. Sometimes they’re smart, sometimes stupid. Sometimes loving as they give their child a kiss on the cheek and murderous in the next minute when they jack a car and kill a man in the process. People are people. Hateful and peaceful. Content and miserable. Honest and deceitful. With all of that inside fighting for control every minute of the day, it’s a wonder everybody’s not banging their heads against the wall. And those around you—even you yourself—aren’t ever quite sure what they’re going to get from moment to moment.
I knew that just like I knew from watching him that Bartholomew was nothing like that—the exception that proved the rule. Bartholomew wasn’t at war with himself or his darker emotions. With Bartholomew it was all about Bartholomew. What he wanted and what he’d do to get it. Love wasn’t a bitch to him, because he loved himself inside and out.
All the best sociopaths do.
It wasn’t just my luck to hook up with one—it was an occupational hazard. I’d seen more of the world than most and it wasn’t by drifting. I always had a plan. I’d long found that the best way to travel was to find someone who was going somewhere you wanted to be, stick with them, and keep your mouth shut. You’d be surprised how little they minded, mostly because if you picked the right ones, they were entirely self-centered. They were generally puzzled to one day realize they’d picked up a buddy, wonder how you’d slithered in under their radar and become a fixture in their lives. But that’s another thing about people: they didn’t want to ask too many questions. Some people didn’t like to look stupid, some people didn’t like to make waves, and some people—the smartest people—generally didn’t want to know the answer.
And the ones like Bartholomew—they ultimately couldn’t bring themselves to believe someone had put one over on them. After all, that’s what they did, not what was done to them.
I was good at it, what I did. Maybe you could say I used people, but I did it out of harmless curiosity. My talent for hanging around by blending into the background was useful, but I didn’t put it to the same use Bartholomew did his. He worked at a carnival, which was what had interested me in the beginning. I’d seen a lot of things as I made my way around the world, and a carnival was more or less next on my list. I came across Bart on a week away, whoring and drinking mostly, heard his glib stories about where he worked, and there found my opportunity.
His ego was my ticket to ride.
When he returned to the carnival with me tagging along, I saw his work. I don’t mean him giving away stuffed prizes or running a few rides or ushering people into a mirrored maze, although he did do all those things. Nope, Bart’s true occupation was hurting people. Sometimes for entertainment, sometimes for profit, but always with the zeal you find in those who truly love their jobs.
Bart . . . he couldn’t get enough of his job.
Not that it was my problem. I wanted to see what the life in a carnival was like, and that’s what I would do. If Bart liked to play mind games with gullible people, it was their fault that they weren’t a little sharper, now, wasn’t it? Or at the very least it wasn’t my fault. I was just along for the ride. Speaking of . . .
His carnival was one helluva ride.
It had been settled for two weeks in one small scrubby field on long-bladed grass that cut like knives, and spectators’ feet had stomped its grounds down into dry, pitted dirt. There was a Ferris wheel that made the most god-awful sound as it creaked up and around. It was the groan and rattle of a dragon’s dying breath—the last dragon in the darkest of ages, its final breath heated by fire and coppery with sacrificial blood somehow caught and bottled to run some unimaginable, infernal machine. Only instead of all that, it ended up wheezing its way through a garishly lit wheel that, instead of grinding their bones to dust, spun screaming children along in paroxysms of delight. That dead dragon was probably embarrassed by it all.
I liked it.
Then there was the carousel. If you’ve ever read any book, seen any movie, heard any carnie tale, you know carousels are where the very best and worst things happen. Depending on which way you spin, depending on what animal you choose to ride, Fate either kisses you on the lips or slits your throat. I loved those stories, because they got it right. That’s exactly how fate was: capricious as fuck. She would ignore the biggest decision in a person’s life yet gleefully wipe your slate in a fatal do-over on something as innocent and simple as a merry-go-round.
Perched proudly upon it was one particularly shifty-looking red-and-black-striped tiger with faceted red glass eyes that glittered like bloody tears. I wondered where he’d take you if you climbed in his saddle. I doubted it was Disneyland.
The maze of mirrors: now, that was creepy, flat-out. If you looked just the right way, took the fastest glimpse over your shoulder, you could see your reflections turn to shadowed doppelgängers with sharp teeth, hungry smiles, shadowed holes for eyes, and taloned hands pushing against the glass that locked them away. Hardly anyone did, though, look just right. But I did, each time grinning and giving a friendly wave to my predatory images across a hundred gleaming surfaces. The clawed hands waved back and, blinking in curiosity, the eyes of soot and silver would give me a wink. You caught us. Point to you.
I wasn’t superstitious and, no, not crazy. I’d traveled the world. I kept my eyes open and I’d seen things. Boring things, astounding ones, and everything in between. What I saw in the carnival was nothing unbelievable. It was more of a pitcher plant where careless flies were caught in the sticky nectar and slowly slid down to be devoured by digestive juices. If you weren’t careless, you’d be fine. If you were careless . . . hey, carnivals weren’t the only thing in the world that would eat you. In fact, after several days of following Bart through the maze of booths and rides, I’d come to the conclusion that carnivals weren’t built. They grew. They accumulated, like a feast of flies on a hidden carcass. One day there was an empty field, the next the carnival bloomed like an ebony poppy. Eventually people—and things—came, populated it, and there you go.
A slow-moving predator came to life.
Some people were carnival people. They knew the carnival and the carnival knew them. They belonged. They were black poppies, too, only on a smaller scale.
Others were just people: good, bad, and indifferent, but all of them blind. They did the work, though, and the carnival needed them. They weren’t the careless type, living the nomadic life, and they survived. I wondered what it was like to be blind like them. I’d seen a good deal of the world, but even with my first step, I’d always been able to see.
Bart, do you have change for a fifty? Oh, look at your new friend. He’s cute.
The girl smiled at me. Becca? Yeah, Becca was her name. I’d heard it in passing the day before. She worked the psychic booth with her sister, and if she was older than fourteen, I’d need to see a birth certificate as proof.
I tried hard not to smirk back at her smile. Hey, I was cute. I worked on being cute. People, even self-centered, oblivious, or gullible people, didn’t want someone with serial killer vibes following them around.
Bart smiled back at her, so friendly and affable that manufactured goodwill oozed out of his pores. Doodle? He’s all right. He hitched up with me on vacation. I thought I’d show him the sights.
It was a joke to him. Bart’s kind didn’t do anything for anybody, but Becca liked me, and Bart . . . Bart liked underage girls. And underage boys. Vulnerable women. People humiliated and naked, bound in chains. And that was only the top layer of porn stuffed in his footlocker. I didn’t want to know what the second, third, or fourth layer showed.
Change for a fifty, yeah? Anything for you, sweetheart.
Becca was young, with long waves of hair dyed cotton candy lavender, round blue eyes, small white teeth that showed when she laughed, and exactly five freckles spread across her nose like a spray of cinnamon chips on a Christmas cookie. Wearing a long, filmy green dress, all the better to look psychic and ethereal, she reminded me of a mermaid curled happily on a rock counting flying fish. She looked innocent and sweet and oh-so-gullible.
A combination Bart absolutely could not pass up.
Of course, sociopaths with questionable taste in porn weren’t always as smart as they thought they were. There was a gleam in Becca’s blue eyes that said she wasn’t nearly as gullible as Bart thought. And if it hadn’t been for me, his new pal, I doubt he’d have seen even a smile from her.
I hadn’t run into the problem of being too cute before. Cute was harmless, cute was safe, and cute let me hang around as long as I liked. Unfortunately, this time it was helping out a predatory dick, and that annoyed me. As I’d thought before, whatever games Bart played weren’t my problem. I was a traveler. I couldn’t get bogged down by people’s troubles. There were always going to be problems, and there were always going to be Barts in the world. I couldn’t change that.
But I didn’t like being used as bait in a trap. That’s all. I just didn’t like it.
Maybe Bart would behave himself and in a few weeks I’d be gone. Off to someplace new with someone hopefully somewhat less problematically evil than good old Bart.
Good-bye, Doodle.
Becca smiled at me again. The two front teeth were separated by a tiny gap and her smile was all the more perfect for it. She thought my name was funny, I could tell. But I didn’t mind. I liked it. That was me. Humble Doodle, nothing less, nothing more.
He’s the quiet sort,
Bart laughed. His laugh was perfect, too, but completely false. Becca’s smile was a warm summer rain. Bart’s laugh was a snow globe—cold glass and fake plastic whirling around, trying to fill the void beneath the hard shell. Doesn’t say a word. But come back and visit him anytime. I do enough talking for the both of us, Miss Becca.
Becca tilted her head. Maybe.
Then she smiled again, this time at Bart, and headed back to the psychic booth.
Just like that, I saw the gleam of good sense sputter and go out of her eyes. It wasn’t her fault, not really. She was fourteen and Bart was a good-looking twenty-one-year-old in a carnival where her working age group was limited and dental hygiene was not the word of the day among most. Bart was blind, the most interesting parts of the carnival a mystery to him, but he was a black poppy, too—a different sort, but he’d eat you all the same.
I sighed. This had every sign of fucking up my good time here.
Bart frowned at me. At least you’re good for something.
That would be Bart, only noticing me when I did something for him—whether I’d meant to or not. The Bartholomews of the world . . . Bigger assholes could not be found.
While Bart continued to sucker people into trying to win teddy bears in a game so rigged Vegas would’ve been proud, I did my best to forget about little girls with lavender hair and concentrate on my sightseeing. I perked up as the Poodle Lady passed by us. She was a grandmotherly type with hair as short and curly as that of her dogs, pink cheeked and plump and with a thousand fake diamond rings, bracelets, necklaces, even a tiara. When the sun hit her, she glittered wildly, a star about to go supernova. She was a sight, but that wasn’t what interested me.
It was the poodles.
I loved the poodles.
I whistled low and soft as they trotted by, bedecked in ruffled collars. All white, they were tiny dandelion drifts blowing across the ground, yipping and excited from their last round of acrobatic tricks. As one, each furry face turned my way at the whistle too soft for the Poodle Lady to hear. Each mouth opened and each pink tongue twisted to change into a tentacle with pulsing suckers and fully as long as each dog’s entire body. Each eye turned the blind silver-white of fish that lived so deep underwater that sight wasn’t necessary.
It tickled me. Cthulhu slept, but his goddamn poodles roamed the earth.
Then they were only ordinary poodles once again and they scampered on, one stopping to lift a leg on Bart’s booth.
Hey, you little shit!
he snapped, tossing a teddy bear at it with malicious force. In a fraction of a second the stuffed animal was nothing but shreds and stuffing and, after pissing on that as well, the poodle was gone.
A few minutes later five clowns wandered by, following the Poodle Lady to the lunch tent. I didn’t bother with them. Clowns were the biggest disappointment in the carnival. They were supposed to be cannibalistic, murderous, child-stealing monsters with jagged metal teeth and makeup mixed of blood and ashes. But no. They weren’t. They were just ordinary people who liked to make people laugh. Which, don’t get me wrong, is nice in theory and all. Still . . .
Disappointing.
That’s what happens when you buy into a stereotype. You think nightmares using intestines to make balloon animals and you get slightly dumpy, sort of sad, average people who had determined that if they couldn’t laugh themselves, they would do their best to make others laugh. Noble, but a little bit boring. I wouldn’t have minded seeing Bart, the porno-loving sociopath, end up as a balloon animal, as he seemed set on ruining my playing tourist.
Finally, Bart closed up the booth a few hours later to grab a meal himself. I went along, too, not that he would notice if I ate or not. Luckily, I could get by on little. Roaming the world will teach you that. Refrigerators and microwaves were rare in my life. I had eaten goat once in India. . . . I still felt rather bad about that.
Bart loaded up a paper plate with barbecue and long, slinky fries dripping with grease. Sitting down at a picnic table, he dug in, and I rethought the goat issue. The food here looked as if that long-digested goat had vomited on a plate and then handed you a fork. Bart obviously didn’t mind, as he plowed through the mess. I reflected on how he had a grin and a wave for everyone who walked by except the Poodle Lady, and I wasn’t surprised. The clowns had their masks of greasepaint and Bart had this mask. The friendly guy who was enough of a flirt for the women and a bit of the roguish con man for the men—it was a good disguise. It said, "I’m good, but not too good. Too good can’t be real, and Bart was smart enough to know that. He relied on the wink and the grin and the
I might cheat you at cards, but not for money."
He made you like him, and there weren’t many masks better than that. Everyone here fell for it, even the black poppies, who I’d have thought would’ve known better. He really was that good.
But on that day, I learned I was wrong after all. One person did see through him.
Remember when I said love’s a bitch?
Yeah. . . .
Now is when I come back to that.
Love is a bitch.
That’s what people say. I hadn’t come to the conclusion about how often people were right—I was a little naïve on the subject, I admit it—but in this case, with this one nugget of knowledge, the people were in the know. On the money.
Love is a bitch, and this being my first encounter with it, I wished the saying was longer. Love is a bitch . . . but here’s how you deal with it. A nice list with bullet points would be appreciated. Some pictures, maybe? I’d take stick figures if that’s all that was available. I wasn’t proud. I traveled the world, but that didn’t mean I was always wise in the ways of it. Any assistance I could get, I would happily take. I was stuck with Bartholomew, however, and helpful he was not. What he knew about love, he wasn’t telling, which rather sucked for me, as I’d hooked up with him to learn more about the world I was traveling and life in general. I tried to learn from everyone I’d teamed up with. So far all I’d learned from Bartholomew about love was that he didn’t much care for it. Correction: he didn’t much care for it unless he could twist it to his benefit.
Like he was thinking about with Becca.
Becca, who was too young to know better.
Bartholomew, I want you to stay the hell away from my little sister.
Her sister, though, she knew about the big bad wolves in the world. And where the huntsman would carry an axe, she would carry a shotgun.
Bart looked up from his plate with rage. Unadulterated fury that someone would dare tell him what to do. I looked up and . . . shit . . . I was head over heels. Love. There it was. There she was, and nothing in all my rambles had prepared me for it.
Whatcha talking about, Starling my darling?
His hand white-knuckled around his plastic fork, but his voice was smooth as honey and slippery as butter. Becca came over for change and to see my buddy, Doodle. She’s a kid, for God’s sake. What? You think I don’t know that?
Bart was probably smirking on the inside about how very well he did know that . . . about how much he liked that.
I’d picked up on Becca having an older sister who played the psychic, but I hadn’t seen her in my few days at the midway. Bart didn’t cross her path . . . or maybe she didn’t cross his. Didn’t want to. As she sat down opposite him, I saw it in her eyes when she looked at him. . . . Here There Be Monsters reflected in onyx mirrors. It might as well have been painted on Bart, which was rather ironic, to her gaze at least. She knew. She knew about wolves and monsters and how a man could be all that and worse.
Starling’s dark eyes passed over me. Doodle?
There was scorn in her voice, but it was for Bart, not me. I hoped. "Do you think your buddy there is going to have me thinking you’re nothing but a puppy, all big eyes and milk breath? Sugar, you’re trying to pull the wool over the wrong set of eyes. I know wickedness when I smell it, and you are rank with it."
I hadn’t noticed it in Becca, but Starling had a trace of a southern accent. Around twenty-four or twenty-five, she had hair that wasn’t long like Becca’s, but a short cap of dark red streaked with the black stripes of a tiger. It cupped her head less like a gentle hand and more like a warrior’s sleek helmet. Her eyes were dark and fierce, but she had the same five freckles. It was incongruous—the same as if you walked the plains of Africa and a tiger lifted its head from its kill to show a spattering of shooting-star freckles across its bloodied muzzle.
Sappy, yeah?
Head-over-heels. What can I say?
Can you blame me? I mean, seriously, a tiger with freckles. Who wouldn’t fall for that?
Wicked? Jesus, Starling, you’ve known me six months now.
And it wouldn’t be any longer than that. Bart was the type to piss where he lived. His stays would be short and his exits in the middle of the night, leaving pain and regret in his wake. Sometimes maybe worse. What have I ever done to you? What have I ever done to anyone?
His hand relaxed on the fork, but it twitched. It was the kind of movement that made me think that had he had metal instead of plastic, she might have been stabbed with it.
I don’t know. What did you do to Mr. Murphy? How’d you come by his booth? One day he’s there, the next he’s gone, and there you are with your easy smile, pretty talk, and dead eyes. And don’t tell me he sold it to you. Murph loved the carnival, and as far as I can tell, you don’t love anything but yourself.
A short fingernail painted copper hit Bart in the chest. So, here it is, Bar-tho-lo-mew, you don’t touch Becca or I’ll get my daddy’s old bowie knife out and make sure you don’t have a damn thing left to touch anyone with ever again.
Eyes narrowed, face flushed with anger, unpainted lips peeled back from her tiger’s teeth, she was . . . amazing. And then she was gone, turned and striding out of the tent with her long silk skirt doing nothing to conceal long legs loping after another gazelle to take down.
Bart, unfortunately, was no gazelle. He wasn’t a tiger, either. Bart was a hyena through and through. He only took down the weak and the vulnerable, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t dangerous. If anything, this adversary would make him more dangerous . . . thinking, plotting, and full of an ego that was not going to take this lying down.
And Starling, as demanding and feisty as the bird she was named for, knew him. No one else at the carnival did, but she knew. She might actually be a little psychic, putting truth to that label on her booth. If I’d learned anything in this world, it was that things you think are aren’t, and things you think aren’t can be. Everything under the sun . . .
Mr. Murphy . . . That was a new name I didn’t know anything about. Bart could be a bigger predator than I’d thought, a pack of hyenas all on his own. Which wasn’t good—not for Becca. Starling had tried to push around Bart, command him. Bart was a man . . . (a thing) . . . you didn’t tell what to do, because sure as shit, he’d do exactly the opposite for spite alone.
Well, fuck.
What did I do about that? About little Becca? About her gloriously wild sister? I was Doodle. While the Barts of life walked around with hands dripping pain or blood, Doodles, we didn’t get involved. I was always on the outside looking in. I wanted to see the world, I didn’t want to be the world. It was too complicated. Standing up for something, I didn’t know how to do that, to be that. I was content being the camera, not the subject.
I only wanted to watch. I only wanted to see.
What about Starling, anyway? She’d watched me, but she hadn’t seen me, not really. Sometimes I blended in a little too well, and blending in with Bart’s kind wasn’t the way to her heart, that was for damn certain. I shifted a little and grimaced at how that had come back to bite me in the ass. Bart hissed and glared at me, raising a hand to aim a slap in my direction.
Stopping at the last moment, he snapped, low and mean, Son of a bitch.
Then he stared at where Starling had sat. Or just a fucking bitch—period.
The rest of the evening and night, Bart spent thinking. What he was thinking, he didn’t say out loud. I wasn’t surprised. If it was close to the thoughts I was working through, words like that . . . they do something to the air. They taint it with shadows and the smell of week-old roadkill. Words like that—I’d heard enough of them in my life, and I didn’t care to hear any more of them.
When Bart went to bed that night, I left as I always did. Sometimes I lay in the grass and watched the stars. I waved to them, too, like I did the reflections in the mirror maze . . . just in case. Sometimes I’d investigate the carnival further, which was how I discovered that the magician had four arms and his hat had teeth. No wonder he kept a giant cage constantly full of at least twenty-five doomed rabbits. I let them go. That wasn’t much interference.
Tonight I found a family sitting outside their trailer. The mother and father were listening to music, drinking wine, kissing, and laughing, laughing, laughing. Here was the love Bart knew nothing about. I watched from the dark, then wandered behind the trailer, where someone else had wandered as well. Their little boy. He was two, two and a half. Baby ages are hard. Strawberry-blond hair stood on end and pudgy hands were waving in a vain attempt to catch fireflies. He saw me, pointed, and laughed.
I smiled at him and whispered, Hi.
I pointed to my chest. Doodle.
He pressed his finger against my nose. Doodle!
He laughed again.
Doodle,
I agreed. I liked kids. Kids were uncomplicated and easy to understand. I didn’t have to worry about keeping my head down and not being noticed. Kids accepted. They weren’t suspicious or judgmental. They took me at face value and it didn’t matter what I knew or didn’t know. If I wasn’t always sure how to behave, because I was a little different, it didn’t matter. To them being Doodle was enough. I was about to ask what his name was, although I wasn’t so good with talking—words were difficult to get out for me—when I heard his mother calling. Reluctantly, I trudged back into the dark.
He called after me. Doodle! Doodle!
I heard his mother laugh at him. Who are you talking to, silly bear?
Those were two nice memories. Love and wine; a little boy and fireflies. I’d keep those when I moved on.
I wandered some more, watched the stars, and got back to Bart’s trailer by morning. It was important, as a professional hanger-on, not to be gone long enough to be noticeably absent. That led to second thoughts about poor Doodle. I wouldn’t want Bart to get too used to being without me—not yet.
I expected him to start a campaign to win Becca’s trust. Buy her a gooey, sugary pastry, all fried dough, cherries, and powdered sugar. Talk to her as if she were a grown woman, not a fourteen-year-old. Try to get her to brush off Starling’s warnings as an over-protective big-sister reaction. It would’ve been typical pedophile behavior.
But Bart proved me wrong. Bart showed he wasn’t typical . . . not in this case. Maybe he would be normally, but Starling had stood up to him, beat him down, and seen him for what he really was. She saw through his mask, and of all the things she’d done, that was the worst. No one saw Bart for what he was. If they did, how could he continue being what he was? How could he get away with it?
He couldn’t.
She might tell others. They might believe her. Bart couldn’t have that.
No, he could not.
While he sulked among the teddy bears, taking dollars in exchange for guaranteed failure, he kept his fake smile plastered to his face, though he mumbled under his breath. I couldn’t make out words—just the static buzz of what were likely psychotic ravings.
Bart had been a mistake. I should go now. Before I spent the next night and the one after peeking in the window of Starling and Becca’s trailer.
Too late.
No self-will at all, that was me. When Bart turned in, I was at their trailer window. The curtains were the brilliant green of Irish fields, with a crack between the two halves. It wasn’t a large one, but large enough that I could see through. It was late, with Bart exhausted by his porn for the night and already asleep. But Starling was still up. She was curled up on a tiny couch with a cup of tea, wearing pajamas patterned with ice cream cones. Her bare feet were pink with copper-painted toenails, her smooth cap of hair was ruffled in completely ridiculous spikes and cowlicks, and the curve of her lips was relaxed. She was a long way from the gypsy psychic
she’d been while facing down Bart, when she was dressed in silk and beads with black ice for eyes, nails the color of a Burmese sunset, and teeth bared in threat. It was different now, a picture of domestic bliss. . . .
Until you noticed the giant bowie knife that was cradled on the cushion next to her. That made it even better.
Perfect domestic bliss.
I laughed. I couldn’t help it. A she-tiger sat in ridiculous pajamas, drinking tea, studying her toenails to see if they needed repainting—and had her knife at the ready for Bart in case some wicked piece of anatomy needed to be treated like a breakfast sausage.
Love could be wine under the stars, but love could be this too.
I’d never felt it before, not really, but love . . . I didn’t have the words for how it made me feel. I was Doodle and words weren’t my thing. But I felt and I wanted and I dreamed and Starling, she was all of that. She was a tiger, my tiger, and she wouldn’t ever back down from anything.
Laughing had been a mistake, though. She whipped her head toward the window and was up and moving. She was fast, but I was faster. I’d traveled far and wide and learned you had to be fast to survive.
Later I returned and tried the back where the bedroom would be. It was a small trailer, only big enough for one foldout bed. I saw Starling and Becca tangled up like children under the blankets. Becca slept curled up on her side, doing her unconscious best to scoot Starling out of the bed onto the floor. Starling slept—out of self-preservation, probably—on her stomach with one arm hooked around the edge of the mattress as if it were a lover of last hope. Lavender and tiger-striped hair mixed together in the dark, inseparable.
My heart warmed. Becca was less Starling’s sister and more her cub. Starling would kill Bart and wouldn’t shed a tear over it. Such was the way of the wild, and that was another good thought and memory to keep. Fierce protection and soft hair mixed under piles of blankets.
It was enough. I didn’t spy anymore. I wanted to see new things, but I didn’t want to dirty them . . . unless they were already dirty, and then there wasn’t much more I could do there anyway. I learned that when one of the poodles chased me back to Bart’s trailer. I nearly lost a strip of my hide to a fast-moving tentacle, but I still loved the little monsters. They were so damn funny.
—
THE NEXT DAY was the same as the others. Or so I thought until that night, when Bart spent three hours digging up Mr. Murphy and moving him farther away into the woods. Starling had spooked him. And Bart spooked me. He didn’t know I was there, watching. He wouldn’t have known if the whole carnival was there, cheering him on. He was muttering to himself with flecks of saliva flying from his mouth and a body tense with absolute molten rage. This time I could hear what he was saying: "Bitch, bitch, bitch. Fucking whore. Telling me. Telling me what I can do. She’ll be sorry. She’ll be so fucking sorry, she’ll beg. She’ll beg and beg and beg—she’ll beg. . . ." After that it was more incoherent, the rage a language all its own.
Shit, Doodle, I thought with grim resignation, what have you gotten yourself into now?
Breakfast was not good. I kept wondering why I was still here and not in the wind. That was my number one rule, the Doodle motto: Watch but don’t participate. Don’t get involved. You’re different, you’re weird, and no matter how harmless I tried to look, people wouldn’t want me around once they knew me—the real me. I was a freak.
Wasn’t that ironic? In a carnival where there were no freaks anymore and the word itself was now bad and wrong, I was still a freak. Just a different kind of one.
Facts were facts: if people knew me, they would shun me. That meant I couldn’t let anyone see behind the mask or through the reflection. I wanted to talk to Starling and tell her all the places and things I’d seen. The world was huge and its mysteries and secrets never-ending. I wanted to see her small, fiercely suspicious face smooth into smiles. I wanted to see her throw that neatly shaped head back in reckless laughter. I wanted to make fun of her pajamas and have her make up an outrageous fortune for me. Most of all, I wanted to sharpen her bowie knife for her and tell her never to warn men like Bart first, to just go ahead and put them down.
I wanted all those things, but I knew that Starling, for all her wild ways, wouldn’t react differently from anyone else when it came to me. I was too different, and while the world changed all the time, that wouldn’t.
Couldn’t.
I watched as Bart shoveled down his breakfast. Wondering. Wondering. What should I . . . The thought was interrupted. The couple from three nights ago walked by, swinging their little boy hand in hand. He saw me and squealed, Doodle!
His mother, ponytail swinging, looked over and smiled. "There is a Doodle, isn’t there? Hey, Doodle." She laughed cheerfully. It wasn’t the throaty wine laugh from before, but I still liked it.
Bart was not thrilled. You get more action than I do, asshole,
he mumbled under his breath while waving at them and giving them the patented Bart smile, that cork against a human bottle of psychopathic rage and hate. See the smile, but never look past it.
The mother didn’t, and they were past us and gone. I relaxed slightly. Bart had something planned for either Becca or Starling, I knew that. I didn’t want to add any further collateral damage.
By that time Bart was done. He left his plate and cup on the table, uncaring, which wasn’t a good sign. You didn’t do that in the carnival. You cleaned up after yourself—always. The mask was slipping.
—
THAT NIGHT IT dissolved and Bart—the real Bart—came out to play.
I could hear a thousand crickets when Becca slipped out the trailer door and Bart approached her with, Hey, sweetheart, where you going?
I saw the flash of wariness in her eyes. Her sister had told her about Bart and, unlike most girls Becca’s age, she believed. She listened to her big sister, and now she wanted nothing to do with Bart.
Oh . . . Bart . . . and Doodle.
Her smile was a small, pained thing, because it was meant to include me. But as everyone had seen that I stood with and behind Bart since I’d arrived, it didn’t throw Bart off. Her voice wasn’t casual and breezy as she hoped. It only showed her fear and her weakness, and I could see Bart was already high at the sight of both. I’m just going to Bartleby’s.
She tilted her head toward the next trailer. We’re out of milk for Star’s tea.
It was barely dark. It was just next door, but even so, I found it hard to believe Starling would let her go alone . . . not when the big bad wolf lived just across the way.
Tea.
Bart rolled the word around his mouth. She drinks tea. The bitch drinks tea. How fucking boring. I’m surprised she doesn’t drink acid, for all the shit that comes out of her mouth.
Becca was frozen. In her life probably no one had ever talked to her that way, not even in a carnival. Bart used that. And he clubbed her down with one blow of his fist. She was a puddle of green and heather and ivory silk at his feet.
I hissed. This was wrong. Wrong. The world could be a bad place. I knew that. From the beginning I knew and had promised to stay out of it—for the very reason that I was as wrong in my way and my help might not be any better than the things I tried to stop. I watched. That’s all. That’s . . .
Why, Bart? Why, you asshole? Why’d you have to go and screw everything up?
He buried a hand in Becca’s hair and dragged her back into the trailer, dropping her on the floor and locking the flimsy door behind us.
Doodle this and Doodle that,
he sneered at her. "You never had a word to say to me until goddamn Doodle came along."
That was why. It was why Bart had messed things up for me and Becca, and it was why I had to fix it. If I hadn’t been here, this wouldn’t have happened. Mr. Murphy would’ve—already had—but not this.
Becca? Did you open the door? I told you not to go outside after dark without me.
Starling came out of the tiny bathroom and stopped short at the sight of the unconscious bundle that was her sister. Becca?
She sounded lost, but she wasn’t. I don’t think Starling had ever been lost in her life. She stood, short hair damp, the wet gloss of red-and-black stripes screaming Beware!
Wrapped in a scarlet robe, feet bare like before, she was a queen and Bart should’ve feared her. But Bart was an idiot.
I wasn’t. When she whipped that man-eating knife from behind her back and lunged to stab him in the chest, I applauded, unnoticed. Bart spat curses and grabbed her neck to throw her to the ground, the knife still in him. Starling was a fighter, but she was small. Five foot three at best. Barely a hundred pounds. But no matter the size, a tiger is still a tiger. She was back on her feet in a fraction of a second, her hands back on the handle of the knife, trying to shove it in deeper. It had gotten hung up on a rib bone, more’s the pity.
This time Bart grabbed her throat and held on, choking fast any screams she might’ve made. With the other hand he pulled the blade out of his flesh. You fucking bitch.
His teeth were bared, his eyes full of fury, but a cold fury. When rage burns, at least it’s quick. When it’s cold, it can make a death last forever. Slice by slice by slice.
Holding the knife just under her chin and above his hand, he seethed curses that seemed to crawl over