To All the Boys I've Loved Before
By Jenny Han
4/5
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About this ebook
A Time Best YA Book of All Time (2021)
Lara Jean’s love life gets complicated in this New York Times bestselling “lovely, lighthearted romance” (School Library Journal) from the bestselling author of The Summer I Turned Pretty series.
What if all the crushes you ever had found out how you felt about them…all at once?
Sixteen-year-old Lara Jean Song keeps her love letters in a hatbox her mother gave her. They aren’t love letters that anyone else wrote for her; these are ones she’s written. One for every boy she’s ever loved—five in all. When she writes, she pours out her heart and soul and says all the things she would never say in real life, because her letters are for her eyes only. Until the day her secret letters are mailed, and suddenly, Lara Jean’s love life goes from imaginary to out of control.
Editor's Note
Fan-favorite romance…
Jenny Han’s teen romance streamed right into our living rooms — and our hearts — as a Netflix Original movie in 2018. Fall in love with the source material (and again with Peter Kavinsky) in this sweet and funny fan-favorite novel.
Jenny Han
Jenny Han is the #1 New York Times bestselling author of the To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before series, now Netflix movies. She is also the author of the #1 New York Times bestselling The Summer I Turned Pretty series, now streaming on Amazon Prime, as well as Shug, and Clara Lee and the Apple Pie Dream. She is the coauthor of the Burn for Burn trilogy, with Siobhan Vivian. Her books have been published in more than thirty languages. A former librarian, Jenny earned her MFA in creative writing at the New School. She lives in Brooklyn, New York.
Read more from Jenny Han
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Reviews for To All the Boys I've Loved Before
2,076 ratings174 reviews
What our readers think
Readers find this title to be a lighthearted and entertaining read. Although the story starts off weak, it picks up around page 80 and the main character develops and grows. The book is filled with relatable and endearing characters, and it is described as real, sweet, and fun. Some readers found it to be a cute and easy read, perfect for a few sunny days by the pool or on the beach. Overall, it is a great book that captures the feelings of youth and vitality.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5This was a little slow in the beginning, but once you get into the story and meet the characters you will fly through it. This is a really cute YA read and was something light and fun (just what I needed.)Lara Jean's was immature at times, and I was annoyed with her character in the beginning. This really did not seem like was about a Junior in HS. She did grow on my a little as the story went on. I really enjoyed Kitty and her quick wits.I was team Peter even with his sarcasm. The love triangle did not bother me as much with Genev. It was HS love and first loves. I liked the development of the relationship between Laura Jean and Peter. I thought the Josh aspect was weird and would have been strange if she ended up with her sisters ex-boyfriend and first love.Overall, I really enjoyed this. I know I am behind on reading this, but I can't wait to read the second book to see what happens with these relationships.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5“I think I see the difference now, between loving someone from afar and loving someone up close. When you see them up close, you see the real them, but they also get to see the real you.”Wow, I wish I’d read this book sooner. Getting around to buying and reading To All the Boys I’ve Loved before took me so long, but I’m glad I actually did it. It was such a cute story.Lara Jean was such a relatable character to me; she was shy and scared to love people up close. The whole “fake relationship “ was a little silly, but a fun story. It was a light, quick read. I was able to finish in two days. I’ll be honest, I did watch the movie first for this one. But, I feel like it was pretty close to the book, so I’m happy with that choice. I would recommend this book to anyone who is looking for something fun and cute. It wasn’t a serious read, though it did have it’s serious moments, and was just something fun to read to escape from life. I can’t wait to finish the series!
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5This was a cute read. I watched the movie prior to reading the book so I was comparing it pretty heavily throughout the entirety of reading the novel. I do prefer the movie but the book was super cute. I'm awful with faces when I'm reading books, I tend to just picture a person with whatever hair color they have but with a shapeless blob for a face so it was nice already having faces to match to characters. In Peter's case, it was a saving grace.Lara Jean was more naive than I anticipated and while it didn't bother me 95% of the time, there were a few moments where my main thought was just "Really? That's really your thought process right now?" Certain mindsets she had seemed completely unrealistic for a sixteen year old and it was very bizarre. Some of her thoughts regarding her interactions with Peter were very, well, naive and while they did seem true to someone who doesn't know how to navigate a relationship, it was frustrating to read. I absolutely adored her relationship with her family. I'm so happy Lara Jean's relationship with her sister Margot was such a crucial thing in her life. While I was watching the movie, I found myself really missing the emotional impact of her moments with Margot near the end of the film but the book really brought it all home. I found myself tearing up during a rather important interaction with her sister. I loved every single moment we had with Lara Jean and Kitty. Everything was so wholesome but kept the reality of family conflicts true. Lara Jean's friendship with Chris was bizarre to me. At certain points, she seemed like she had good friendship qualities but overall, she just seemed mean and someone who leeched off of Lara Jean rather than contributed to a healthy friendship. Josh sucked. He was pretty awful to read about, at least for me. Movie Josh is so much better than book josh. He was annoying to read about. He was overdramatic. There were certain moments where his friendship was nice to read about but overall, I found myself wanting to get done with his parts and move on. Some of the things he had the audacity to say and do were ridiculous. I plan to continue on with the series and I'm not looking forward to more scenes with Josh.Peter Kavinsky. Movie Peter is so much better than book Peter. I wasn't crazy about Noah Centineo in the film like everyone else, but having him portray Peter in the film was a good choice and REALLY helped how I viewed book Peter. Peter seemed like a real asshole for a big section of the book but when he was cute and not an ass, he was so cute. The estate sale scene is my favorite scene in the entire book and the fact that it wasn't in the film is OFFENSIVE. His character does grow as the book goes on, however, I wish he had just a little bit more growth and I think Netflix did that more efficiently. Overall, this was super cute. I want more of most of our cast so I'm definitely going to be continuing on with the series.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5You can't help but fall in love with Lara Jean and the people she surrounds herself with. The audiobook narrator is super delightful. Han knows how to write a real human biracial teenage girl with humor and depth.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The cutest, sweetest, loveliest, most adorable love story ever. Thank goodness I have two more to read because I dragged this first one out for so long so it wouldn’t have to end.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5This book was cute! Not anything particularly spectacular, but quite enjoyable—I loved the aspect of family in the story.Would definitely read again if in the mood for a nice, feels-y book that isn’t too long.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5This is such a sweet YA novel about the perceptions we have about reality, first love, even ourselves. It was a quick and light read. Nothing spectacular but it has a pleasant and genuine feeling to it.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Lara Jean is just trying to figure out how to run her life without backup from her older sister. To avoid hurting her sister she agrees to take a relationship with Peter... But getting to know someone under the facade is always eye opening. This was a lovely little coming of age story.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5My sister and I have been talking about this movie non-stop for a week. She's in her early 20's and I just turned 33 this month. I am a reader, and she really isn't. So I grabbed the book set on amazon. I got it at a steal for all three books using coupons and stuff, $13. I got a set for me and my sister. I'm pretty sure she is going to read these books. She already said she would so that is her Christmas Present. So I am a big fan of the movie, and I can say, so far, I am a fan of the first book just as much. There are definitely changes between the book and movie. However, it doesn't really make one better than the other in my opinion. They just sort of enhance each other in different ways. It's like the movie Serenity and the show Firefly to me. They are essentially the same story, just done a little different with the same people. You can really see the actor's from the movie fitting in these rolls of the book. I've watched the movie I think three times and just finished the book. All in a couple weeks. This book is definitely something that can be read multiple times, just like the movie. This book is supremely relatable to a young girl and her first crushes. You get to hear from Lara Jean's perspective of her past major loves that she has moved on from. You get to see more of each individual boys letter that she has written. Jenny Han has done an amazing job of making you understand what Lara Jean is feeling and has gone through. It is believable and realistic. I mean, hell, I still remember mine. I remember all my crushes and my absolutely love and the ridiculously embarrassing love letters I wrote to those boys. I can't wait for my daughter to read these when she hits that age because I think these are a sweet way to see another person going through the motions of multiple strong loves. I remember my mom talking to me about boys when I was a kid, and it was embarrassing and I didn't even want to relate to my mom. I feel like as a mom now, who was a boy crazy teen, I can see these (and the movie) being a really good way to talk to my future teen daughter. Other that the basic breakdown of the book. I don't have much else to say. I think it is an amazing book. I am really happy that I got this book set. I plan on reading the next book now. As a mom, I would recommend this. To the mom, and to the teen.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Lara Jean has been told she is pretty in a "quirky" way, and so is this book. Her engaging first-person narrative drives a she-said, he-said school romance. Through the various pairings, Lara remains innocent and virginal but not unbelievable. (The reveal of her older sister's sexual activity hit a discordant key to this reader). The book subtly pushes good family values (most of the adults are kind) and her portrayal of sisterly love is heart-warming. A good choice for a young reader who is not interested in/ready for high stakes dating and sex.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5This YA novel was a delight to read. Lara Jean finds herself in hot water after the love letters she wrote to the boys she's had crushes (or felt she'd fallen in love with) over the years are sent out. As the recipients include her own sister's recent ex-boyfriend and a popular jock, she soon finds herself navigating a new environment at high school in which her former flames now know about her feelings. And, of course, a few unexpected things to happen. This book was just fun and I highly recommend it to fans of YA literature.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I liked this YA novel-- thought the characters were great, and will continue on in the series, especially since the youngest daughter reminds me of my youngest granddaughter.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Lara Jean has a hatbox of letters she’s written, never meaning to send: They're not love letters in the strictest sense of the word. My letters are for when I don't want to be in love any more. They're for goodbye [...] My letters set me free. Or at least they're supposed to.But when the letters reach the boys they are addressed to, Lara Jean finds herself in an unexpected situation, with a pretend-boyfriend.Meanwhile, her older sister has started college, leaving Lara Jean to deal with more responsibility at home and without her sister’s companionship or support.Some stories have a story sense of place, this has a strong sense of aesthetic. Cute vintage, pinterest, baking-in-your-pyjamas aesthetic. I liked Lara Jean’s confidence in her own tastes, and how central her relationships with her father and sisters are to her life.However, the whole concept of something private being revealed in some way, made me feel kind of anxious...
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5This book is amazing, it’s easy to read, and it’s the kind of book that make you relax and want to know what happen next, i like the story from fake relationship they become lovers, stronger than anything, and her letter sent out is like destiny for her first love become her boyfriend.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5My Summary: Lara Jean is a girl who is perfectly happy with her life. She has two amazing sisters, a father who loves her, and her best friend Josh - who happens to be dating her older sister. Her life is quiet, happy, and full of love.But one thing Lara Jean doesn't have is a boyfriend. She's never been in a relationship, choosing instead to write letters to her crushes and never send them. By writing the letter, she is letting go of the person and allowing herself to move on. She's written five letters in total, and one of which was to Josh. So when the letters get sent out, Lara Jean is a world of trouble. Lara Jean thinks her life is over, but as she learns to speak her mind and tell those she cares about just how much they mean to her, she realizes that the best thing to come of the letters was the closure of them being read. My Thoughts: I really enjoyed the way that this novel's theme transitioned from romance to family. At first glance, it seems like it's going to be a predictable romance, but in reality it turns out to be so much more. Lara Jean's love for her sisters, her father, and her friend - even if she has a little bit trouble figuring out what kind of love she feels for him - made it easy to relate to her on every level. Who hasn't felt conflicted when it comes to looking out for everyone else's best interests over your own? I also really liked the supporting characters, and would definitely have liked to read/heard more from Josh and Margot's perspectives - especially about their relationship. The family aspect of the novel was so well done, and it was great to see a strong family bond present in a YA novel - the majority of them are decidedly lacking in happy families. The writing flowed smoothly, and the main character's voice felt very realistic. The plot was very character-driven, and the tone was perfectly suited to the subject matter.One last thing: can we just take a look at that cover? It's gorgeous! You definitely get a feel for the atmosphere of the novel just by looking at the cover.Final Thoughts: I recommend this novel to anyone who enjoys contemporary lit and romance, as well as anyone looking for a light read with some powerful messages.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I wanted to read this one since I saw it on YA Romantics, and loved the premise. I can only imagine the waves that letters helping her get over boys she'd loved were actually mailed. You can't take words back and I wonder what sort will be unleashed on unsuspecting boys. I wasn't expecting the strong family dynamics in this one, and it really was well done and a positive surprise. Our main character Lara is really close with her older sister Margot and younger Kitty. They band together to help their single dad (mom died). They really work for each other's happiness, and have a bond that only loss, time and being family can form. The first boy that Lara gets over is her older sister's boyfriend Josh. He was the next door neighbor and was around and friends with them even longer than he had a relationship with Margot, so I can def see where Lara would fall for him. Plus, he is a good guy, being nice and playing with Kitty, hanging out with their dad, and is thoughtful and fun. This is such a hard subject though because you know that it would only hurt the bond if Lara was ever to act on or admit her feelings, but we also know this will happen because of the summary, so I was anxious at how that would effect their friendship and relationship. I also couldn't pull for Lara to get him because I saw how much he cared for Margot. It still added another element to the story because I had to know if he ever felt anything back and how Lara continues to deal with it. Lara Jean herself is such a fun narrator. She is quirky and thinks a lot like me, she doesn't quite fit into the old crowd of friends she had, but she isn't unpopular persay. She is smart but she is more of a homebody than the average high schooler, also like me. She isn't perfect and that is what makes her even greater. She makes questionable decisions, says things that hurts her sister, and she has bad days. But she rebounds, she figures out a way to get through, and even when she makes a stack of lies, something I know I have done before, she doesn't weasel out of any responsibility of consequences. It was fun to watch her grow and deal with the changes in her life, and watch her to learn a person not just from a fantasy in her mind but up close and personal. The romance was different, and while I have read a setup that shares similarities it was pretty new to me, and interesting to see how it played out and how their decisions effected themselves, the other person and those around them. I ended up liking guy in question more than I thought that I could and he surprised me on more than one occassion (Lara too) at how deep he could actually be and what was hidden behind his good looks. I especially loved how he ended up being at the house with Lara and Kitty a lot and how he treated Kitty like a real person and joked with her, making her feel included and special. I liked that their dad tried so hard to be a good parent. He probably missed his wife so much he couldn't think some days, but he kept the girls, and they stuck together. He made the awkward talks with them, and tried to take back some of the responsibilities that the girls took on to help him, he tried to let them be kids. Even though he worked hard, he wasn't an absent parent, and when he was home, he did things with the family instead of holing up or going out. I enjoyed it and flew through the story. I will def be picking up the next book and can't wait to see more from the life of the Song girls, especially Lara Jean.Bottom Line: It was a fast, sweet, sometimes emotional book with a romance I could get behind, a premise I loved, a quirky main character, and sweet romance.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Mixed feelings. I was skeptical for a while because of the voice. She sounded 13, but she was 16. She wasn’t especially emotional, which I found strange. But here’s the (good) thing: this romance had something that you don’t often find in YA lit: playfulness and humor. YA has a lot of passion, drama, sensitivity, and physical intimacy of different kinds. Here, I felt like I was giggling along with the protagonist. They tease each other and make each other laugh and enjoy spending time together. It’s a bunch of little things that collect over time. It reminded me of what matters in real life. It was nice to read something that felt so natural and fun.That said I didn’t like the ending (or lack thereof). It was sooooo unsatisfying. Right at the end something sours things for Peter and Lara Jean. And they don’t really get resolved. On the final page we see Lara Jean intending to resolve things with Peter. But we don’t really get to see them together as a happy couple. I wanted to see that! What did we go through the whole book for? It seemed to focus more on the sisters than the couple. And truth be told, I was a little unsatisfied with what happens between the sisters, too. I can’t imagine letting go of the things they did to each other that quickly and did Margot ever really get what Lara Jean was going through? I dunno. I’ve never had a sister, so maybe I can’t understand. I kept trying to change the story or resolve it in my head after I finished the book. All this build up and then…blah. Not only did the book feel unsettled, it made me feel unsettled, which I did not appreciate. (Though obviously if I had this kind of reaction, she succeeded very much in getting me involved and caring about the characters.)
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I found myself really enjoying this book, I think it's about as honest and believable as you can get in teen fiction. Lara Jean is the middle girl in the song sisters trio. Raised by their father after their mother's sudden death, they are as close as sisters can get. That is until Margot, the oldest, goes to Scotland for college leaving Lara Jean to look after her younger sister Kitty and their father. As if things couldn't get any more trying Lara Jean's hat box containing love notes written to all the boy's she's had crushes on over the years goes missing and all the letters get mailed out! She's mortified and finds herself bumbling in and out of awkward situations. Truly adorable and awkward and relate-able. I can't wait to read the next in the series.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Lara Jean is the middle of three sisters being raised by their father. Their mother died when the youngest sister was very young. So Margot (oldest sister) and Lara Jean are "mom" to their youngest sister Katherine (Kit). Margot is dating a neighbor (Josh). All the sisters are close with Josh. Margot is leaving for college in Ireland and decides to break up with Josh. Lara Jean writes love letters to boys she has fallen for. These boys don't necessarily know she loves them and the letters are never meant to be seen by them. Somehow Lara Jean's letters get mailed and life gets complicated and crazy for her. Josh was one of her five crushes. All of a sudden Lara Jean has to deal with Josh knowing about her feelings for him when he just broke up with Margot. There is another boy at school that gets his letter. Chaos and emotional confusion ensue. Interesting look at a realistic situation. Good read. Looking forward to reading the sequel.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5TBH, when first this book was placed on my desk I wasn't too excited about it. Teen romance...ugh. Well, as a HS librarian I do professional developments about new books, and this book is relatively new, so I began looking at reviews and summaries for it. The book flap did this book NO JUSTICE! After reading rave reviews and more thorough synopses, I decided this book looked like a great read! After 2 1/2 days of reading this book, I fell in love with Lara Jean, Kitty, Peter and Josh. I was actually quite sad about finishing the book because I enjoyed the story so much. Great read for high school students and adults alike...I think everyone can find something to relate to in this book! :)
Happy Reading! - Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5This one was pretty good even though Lara Jean was pretty annoying at times. I didn't like the fact that she was having feelings for her sisters ex-boyfriend. It was just weird to me. Maybe if they only dated a little bit but Margot and Josh dated for TWO years! That's a long time in teenage years! So no, not cool Lara Jean. Margot was pretty bitchy most of the time for no real reason. Lara's other love interest Peter was a DB the majority of the time. Like seriously?? Why are you still so obsessed with your ex?? He says he'll always be there for her but he never says WHY exactly or explains it. Not that Lara Jean ever really give either Josh or Peter a chance to actually TALK about anything of importance before she runs off. Man, I currently have this rated as a 4 but now that I'm writing this I think it needs to be bumped down to a 3. I did really like Lara Jeans relationship with her father. It was really a sweet relationship even though I think it was horrible how the dad was so uninvolved and oblivious to what was going on. I was planning to read the next book soon but I'll probably hold off for awhile.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Lara Jean's older sister Margot just had to go to college in Scotland, all the way across the ocean. Now everything is changed and it's just Lara Jean, her little sister Kitty, and their dad. Things change even more when someone mails a stack of love letters Lara Jean wrote years ago to boys she's loved - but had NEVER meant for them to see. Embarrassing! She and one of the recipients decide to have a fake relationship so one of the other recipients - Margot's ex-boyfriend!! - won't think that Lara Jean still loves him. Which she definitely doesn't. Right?This book was decent, but I didn't like it as much as I thought I would. The letters actually didn't play much of a role at all. They didn't say anything embarrassing, there were only 5 of them, and only 2 of them mattered to the plot. I do like fake relationships so that part was very good. All the characters were well-written and interesting, but I thought it was very unrealistic that except for Genevieve, all of them were good, kind, friendly people. I was also annoyed that the ending just *stops*. I'm sure this was always intended to be a series, but nothing is resolved and no one even makes up their mind about who they like or what they want by the end of this book. It just ends. There's a Netflix movie coming out this summer and I will probably watch it. I might read more of the series if I find them for cheap (I bought this copy for 50 cents at the library), but I don't think I'll seek them out.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Good YA.
Pros:
Diverse main character (Korean-American). Need more of these.
Realistic portrayal of young relationships (when kissing is still a big deal) without being precious.
Touching but complex relationship among three sisters.
Reminded me a smidge of Rainbow Rowell's excellent book Eleanor & Park. - Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5I wanted to love this book, so much.Everyone else has been so enamored with the entire series but it just didn’t hold my attention. And that might just be the mood I’m in (a little bit edgier, at the moment).I loved Lara-Jean but I don’t think the story gave her enough of a chance to kind of get out from under herself.It was sweet, though. I’ll give it that. And there are so few stories with single dads and little girls that it totally had the “Aw” and appreciation factor, for sure. I think it was just maybe a little TOO sweet for me.I may, eventually, get to the rest of the series if I’m in the mood for a light little read but for the moment, the hype is kind of escaping me.I will, however, go check out the movie, since it is hounding me every time I open up Netflix.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Best for: Young adults.In a nutshell: Lara Jean writes letters to boys as a way to get over them. Somehow, they get sent. YikesWorth quoting: “It’s funny how much of childhood is abut proximity. Like, who your best friend is is directly correlated to how close your houses are; who you sit next to in music is all about how close your names are in the alphabet. Such a game of chance.”Why I chose it: The Netflix version of the book has been getting great reviews, so I figured I’d check out the book. After accidentally ordering the German-language one, I finally got my hands on it in English this week.Review:*Minor spoilers*A few months ago, my mother and I were talking on the phone and she shared that while she was cleaning up in my old room, she ran across a letter I’d hidden in a book. It was apparently something I’d written in middle school, and was to a boy who I don’t know anymore, but who I definitely remember having a crush on. She said she didn’t read it, but who knows. Regardless, when she told me about it, laughing, I told her to shred it. I was MORTIFIED.Guys, I’m 38. That letter was written at least 24 years ago. Even typing it out now, I’ve got slight butterflies in my stomach, because it would have been humiliating had it ever gotten to its intended recipient. Which is all to say - holy shit, does Lara Jean handle herself amazingly well when the letters she’s written get out. Luckily, none of the guys she sends them to are total assholes, which I guess helps. But still, I think the biggest take-away from this for me is that she doesn’t just immediately disappear into herself; she takes back what control she can to try to fix the situation. I think that sends a good message to readers.As far as the film is concerned, I think the changes they made make sense, but it’s odd to see Josh with so little screen time and Peter with so much. Also, I did not picture John Corbett as the dad, but he does a great job. The ending is a bit more Hollywood than the book, but again, I get it. They had 100 minutes; they made it work. If you had to pick one or the other, I’d say it’s about even for me, but I think the book every so slightly wins out.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Lara Jean is a slightly romantic high school student. You can't really blame her - she's been dealt a tough hand: her Mom died when she was younger, so it's just Lara Jean, her Dad, her older sister (Margot), and her younger sister, Kitty. And now, Margot-- her surrogate Mom-- is headed off to college, all the way in Scotland. To cope with her romantic heartbreak over the years, Lara Jean writes letters to the boys in question and sticks them in a hat box. But one day, she realizes the letters have somehow been mailed, leading to some awkward confrontations with some of her crushes: including Margot's ex-boyfriend. While dealing with the aftermath, Lara Jean has to grow up a bit and start thinking for herself.
This was one of those books that I must have read about somewhere, added to my library queue, and by the time it was available, completely forgot where I read about it, or why I wanted to read it. It was an incredibly fast read; I blew through it in about 24 hours. Lara Jean is a very engaging main character, who quickly draws you into her world. It's a mostly believable portrayal of the high school experience. My biggest issue with Lara Jean was that she seemed awfully young for her sixteen years at times; her voice (calling her parents Mommy and Daddy, for instance) and actions made her age hard to believe. While we are led to believe Lara Jean has been sheltered a bit by her older sister, it was still a little odd and off-putting at times. Also odd was the feelings she had for Margot's boyfriend (he becomes her ex quickly, but still factors into the story). It seemed strange that Margot would be so oblivious - and said boy, as well.
The book better excels when Lara Jean gets closer to another boy from her school - Peter Kavinksy, a popular kid. Their interactions were the real meat of the story and what kept me reading. Overall, I enjoyed the book, though its abrupt ending was a bit disappointing. However, there is a sequel featuring Lara Jean and several of the others in the story, so that's rather exciting. I shall add that to said library queue and be eager to see where life takes her. All in all, a cute read, even if it does feel like something is missing, or a bit off. A solid 3 stars. - Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5I’ll begin this review by acknowledging that by no stretch of the imagination am I a part of this novel’s target demographic. This saccharine tale of “heartbreaking” teenage puppy love—which represents the contemporary YA equivalent of Frank Norris’ pithy critique of realist fiction (“the drama of a broken teacup, the tragedy of a walk down the block, the excitement of an afternoon call, the adventure of an invitation to dinner”)—portrays nothing so much as it does the absolute banality of adolescent romance and utterly fails to do what the best YA fiction does: transcend the genre.Told from the perspective of Lara Jean Covey, a biracial (half Korean, half Caucasian) middle sister living with her widowed father and navigating the choppy waters of junior year, *To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before*—like the unfortunate Willie Nelson/Julio Iglesias duet from whose title it differs by one word—is assembled from a seemingly random hodgepodge of gimmicks and clichés: an older sister leaving home for college abroad, a precocious and “charming” younger sister, a secret stash of love letters that mysteriously find their way to the intended recipients, the popular jock who turns out to be sweeter than everyone thinks he is, the pretty and vengeful popular girl who turns out to be meaner than everyone thinks she is, the sweet and reliable boy-next-door (literally), the ascot-wearing gay kid…and did I mention that the half-Asian protagonist is an awful driver?So, to sum up, this is an adolescent version of a formulaic Harlequin romance—and it might not even be as harmless as all that, because it casually manages to reinforce some unfortunate ethnic and gender stereotypes. I’m still scratching my head over the implied similarity the book tries to draw between being biracial and being gay, but the real mystery might be how this mediocre effort ever ended up on the NY Times best-seller list.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Sweet, exciting, and occasionally tense. I really liked the book, the decisions the authors made, and the characters soon felt like family.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5What was this?Are these feelings?I don't want this. Make me not feel.I loved this book with passion. Please, please, please, give me my third book, Jenny Han.God, I love this woman. Her writing style is so easy to read, so real. And my life was broken and, at the same time, rebuilt. I'm in love with this story. I'm in love with the characters. I freaking love Kitty; I need her in my life.What I mean to say is: DROP EVERYTHING AND READ THIS BOOK. OR BOTH, IF YOU HAVEN'T READ TATBILB.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5**Warning! Although there are no outright plot spoilers in this review, there is a little bit of information about what characters are in this book and what I liked/didn't like about them. If you consider this a spoiler be warned!**I don't know about you, but whenever summer rolls around, I am always in the mood for a cutesy summery contemporary. To All The Boys I've Loved Before was that perfect summery read for me! I think my love of this book was born of a mixture of me being in the mood for it and the fact that it reads like an adorable rom-com. I would highly recommend this as a beach read, a fluffy read, or a read if you are looking to get out a the dreaded reading slump!To All The Boys I've Loved Before is about sixteen year old Lara Jean who, whenever she wants to get over a crush on a boy, writes them a love letter and shuts it away in her hatbox, never to think of it again. Her love life becomes a little more complicated when somebody mails out all of these letters, and I loved the crazy ride that ensued. Honestly, based on this premise, the book took a different direction than I was expecting, but that was okay because it gave me a story that I loved! Instead of the book being about the fallout from every letter, it focuses more on only two of the letters and the rom-com-like drama that unfolds from there. Complete with a fake relationship plot line (classic), awakenings of old feelings, and a wonderful dynamic with Lara Jean and her family,this book definitely deserves an A+ :)So, details of why I loved this book. Firstly, I loved the sister dynamic in the book. Lara Jean has an older sister, Margot, and a younger sister, Kitty. The age difference between these sisters is actually the same as the one between myself and my sisters, so they reminded me a lot of my own family! Every time Lara Jean would pick on Kitty I couldn't help but think they were exactly like my two sisters. I also identified with Margot because the nine year age difference between myself and my youngest sister creates a bit of a mother/daughter relationship as well as a sister relationship. I always love it when a book has an emphasis on a family as opposed to the family or parents just disappearing when the protagonist discovers their "destiny." Families in YA contemporaries are always my favourite and I loved the Song/Coveys just as much as the rest of them!Okay. Now let's talk about Peter. I loved what Jenny Han did with this character. I mean, he's an obvious love interest, but at the beginning I didn't like him. Peter is one of the first love interests that actually had to grow on me because he didn't have me wooed right away. Normally the protagonist is in love with the douchey guy right away, however, Lara Jean wasn't in love with him from the beginning (at least she didn't know she was ;)) Because of this, she shares tidbits about Peter that make him unlikeable, and I bought it. Peter was the unlikeable guy that I genuinely grew to adore, and I loved that! I loved seeing little sweet gestures shine through and seeing Lara Jean deal with all of her feelings about the whole situation. So, of course I loved Peter by the end, although I still have some questions...There were a few reasons why I docked half a teacup off my rating, one being the lack of resolution. Although this book could stand alone, I am SO glad there is a second book! There were certain issues regarding some of Peter's interactions with his ex-girlfriend that left me wondering, and Lara Jean unfortunately suffers from a syndrome that many characters in YA books and TV shows suffer from. That is IGNORING PEOPLE or when something bad happens they REFUSE TO TALK TO THE PERSON they are angry with. I swear this is something that annoys me more than most things. Communication is the key to everything! If there is a misunderstanding, talk to the person about it! Let's be real, every time a character is upset about something to do with another character, it's always a misunderstanding that is cleared up through CONVERSATION. Does this bug anyone else? It definitely happens too much for my liking :P Other than those few issues, this book is definitely a YA contemporary gem, and as I said, there is a second book and hopefully I will get a little more closure.Once again, I highly recommend To All The Boys I've Loved Before for a lovey summer read! It is super cute, fun, and the plot and characters are wonderful. This is the perfect book to read in the sunshine or lying on the beach. Now that I've read and loved this book, I want to look into Jenny Han's The Summer I Turned Pretty trilogy, and look forward to reading many more Jenny Han books in the future!
Book preview
To All the Boys I've Loved Before - Jenny Han
1
JOSH IS MARGOT’S BOYFRIEND, BUT I guess you could say my whole family is a little in love with him. It’s hard to say who most of all. Before he was Margot’s boyfriend, he was just Josh. He was always there. I say always, but I guess that’s not true. He moved next door five years ago but it feels like always.
My dad loves Josh because he’s a boy and my dad is surrounded by girls. I mean it: all day long he is surrounded by females. My dad is an ob-gyn, and he also happens to be the father of three daughters, so it’s like girls, girls, girls all day. He also likes Josh because Josh likes comics and he’ll go fishing with him. My dad tried to take us fishing once, and I cried when my shoes got mud on them, and Margot cried when her book got wet, and Kitty cried because Kitty was still practically a baby.
Kitty loves Josh because he’ll play cards with her and not get bored. Or at least pretend to not get bored. They make deals with each other—if I win this next hand, you have to make me a toasted crunchy-peanut-butter-sandwich, no crusts. That’s Kitty. Inevitably there won’t be crunchy peanut butter and Josh will say too bad, pick something else. But then Kitty will wear him down and he’ll run out and buy some, because that’s Josh.
If I had to say why Margot loves him, I think maybe I would say it’s because we all do.
We are in the living room, Kitty is pasting pictures of dogs to a giant piece of cardboard. There’s paper and scraps all around her. Humming to herself, she says, When Daddy asks me what I want for Christmas, I am just going to say, ‘Pick any one of these breeds and we’ll be good.’
Margot and Josh are on the couch; I’m lying on the floor, watching TV. Josh popped a big bowl of popcorn, and I devote myself to it, handfuls and handfuls of it.
A commercial comes on for perfume: a girl is running around the streets of Paris in an orchid-colored halter dress that is thin as tissue paper. What I wouldn’t give to be that girl in that tissue-paper dress running around Paris in springtime! I sit up so suddenly I choke on a kernel of popcorn. Between coughs I say, Margot, let’s meet in Paris for my spring break!
I’m already picturing myself twirling with a pistachio macaron in one hand and a raspberry one in the other.
Margot’s eyes light up. Do you think Daddy will let you?
Sure, it’s culture. He’ll have to let me.
But it’s true that I’ve never flown by myself before. And also I’ve never even left the country before. Would Margot meet me at the airport, or would I have to find my own way to the hostel?
Josh must see the sudden worry on my face because he says, Don’t worry. Your dad will definitely let you go if I’m with you.
I brighten. Yeah! We can stay at hostels and just eat pastries and cheese for all our meals.
We can go to Jim Morrison’s grave!
Josh throws in.
"We can go to a parfumerie and get our personal scents done!" I cheer, and Josh snorts.
"Um, I’m pretty sure ‘getting our scents done’ at a parfumerie would cost the same as a week’s stay at the hostel, he says. He nudges Margot.
Your sister suffers from delusions of grandeur."
She is the fanciest of the three of us,
Margot agrees.
What about me?
Kitty whimpers.
You?
I scoff. "You’re the least fancy Song girl. I have to beg you to wash your feet at night, much less take a shower."
Kitty’s face gets pinched and red. "I wasn’t talking about that, you dodo bird. I was talking about Paris."
Airily, I wave her off. You’re too little to stay at a hostel.
She crawls over to Margot and climbs in her lap, even though she’s nine and nine is too big to sit in people’s laps. Margot, you’ll let me go, won’t you?
Maybe it could be a family vacation,
Margot says, kissing her cheek. You and Lara Jean and Daddy could all come.
I frown. That’s not at all the Paris trip I was imagining. Over Kitty’s head Josh mouths to me, We’ll talk later, and I give him a discreet thumbs-up.
It’s later that night; Josh is long gone. Kitty and our dad are asleep. We are in the kitchen. Margot is at the table on her computer; I am sitting next to her, rolling cookie dough into balls and dropping them in cinnamon and sugar. Snickerdoodles to get back in Kitty’s good graces. Earlier, when I went in to say good night, Kitty rolled over and wouldn’t speak to me because she’s still convinced I’m going to try to cut her out of the Paris trip. My plan is to put the snickerdoodles on a plate right next to her pillow so she wakes up to the smell of fresh-baked cookies.
Margot’s being extra quiet, and then, out of nowhere, she looks up from her computer and says, I broke up with Josh tonight. After dinner.
My cookie-dough ball falls out of my fingers and into the sugar bowl.
I mean, it was time,
she says. Her eyes aren’t red-rimmed; she hasn’t been crying, I don’t think. Her voice is calm and even. Anyone looking at her would think she was fine. Because Margot is always fine, even when she’s not.
I don’t see why you had to break up,
I say. Just ’cause you’re going to college doesn’t mean you have to break up.
Lara Jean, I’m going to Scotland, not UVA. Saint Andrews is nearly four thousand miles away.
She pushes up her glasses. What would be the point?
I can’t even believe she would say that. The point is, it’s Josh. Josh who loves you more than any boy has ever loved a girl!
Margot rolls her eyes at this. She thinks I’m being dramatic, but I’m not. It’s true—that’s how much Josh loves Margot. He would never so much as look at another girl.
Suddenly she says, Do you know what Mommy told me once?
What?
For a moment I forget all about Josh. Because no matter what I am doing in life, if Margot and I are in the middle of an argument, if I am about to get hit by a car, I will always stop and listen to a story about Mommy. Any detail, any remembrance that Margot has, I want to have it too. I’m better off than Kitty, though. Kitty doesn’t have one memory of Mommy that we haven’t given her. We’ve told her so many stories so many times that they’re hers now. Remember that time…,
she’ll say. And then she’ll tell the story like she was there and not just a little baby.
She told me to try not to go to college with a boyfriend. She said she didn’t want me to be the girl crying on the phone with her boyfriend and saying no to things instead of yes.
Scotland is Margot’s yes, I guess. Absently, I scoop up a mound of cookie dough and pop it in my mouth.
You shouldn’t eat raw cookie dough,
Margot says.
I ignore her. Josh would never hold you back from anything. He’s not like that. Remember how when you decided to run for student-body president, he was your campaign manager? He’s your biggest fan!
At this, the corners of Margot’s mouth turn down, and I get up and fling my arms around her neck. She leans her head back and smiles up at me. I’m okay,
she says, but she isn’t, I know she isn’t.
It’s not too late, you know. You can go over there right now and tell him you changed your mind.
Margot shakes her head. It’s done, Lara Jean.
I release her and she closes her laptop. When will the first batch be ready? I’m hungry.
I look at the magnetic egg timer on the fridge. Four more minutes.
I sit back down and say, I don’t care what you say, Margot. You guys aren’t done. You love him too much.
She shakes her head. Lara Jean,
she begins, in her patient Margot voice, like I am a child and she is a wise old woman of forty-two.
I wave a spoonful of cookie dough under Margot’s nose, and she hesitates and then opens her mouth. I feed it to her like a baby. Wait and see, you and Josh will be back together in a day, maybe two.
But even as I’m saying it, I know it’s not true. Margot’s not the kind of girl to break up and get back together on a whim; once she’s decided something, that’s it. There’s no waffling, no regrets. It’s like she said: when she’s done, she’s just done.
I wish (and this is a thought I’ve had many, many times, too many times to count) I was more like Margot. Because sometimes it feels like I’ll never be done.
Later, after I’ve washed the dishes and plated the cookies and set them on Kitty’s pillow, I go to my room. I don’t turn the light on. I go to my window. Josh’s light is still on.
2
THE NEXT MORNING, MARGOT IS making coffee and I am pouring cereal in bowls, and I say the thing I’ve been thinking all morning. Just so you know, Daddy and Kitty are going to be really upset.
When Kitty and I were brushing our teeth just now, I was tempted to go ahead and spill the beans, but Kitty was still mad at me from yesterday, so I kept quiet. She didn’t even acknowledge my cookies, though I know she ate them because all that was left on the plate were crumbs.
Margot lets out a heavy sigh. So I’m supposed to stay with Josh because of you and Daddy and Kitty?
No, I’m just telling you.
It’s not like he would come over here that much once I was gone, anyway.
I frown. This didn’t occur to me, that Josh would stop coming over because Margot was gone. He was coming over long before they were ever a couple, so I don’t see why he should stop. He might,
I say. He really loves Kitty.
She pushes the start button on the coffee machine. I’m watching her super carefully because Margot’s always been the one to make the coffee and I never have, and now that she’s leaving (only six more days), I’d better know how. With her back to me she says, Maybe I won’t even mention it to them.
Um, I think they’ll figure it out when he’s not at the airport, Gogo.
Gogo is my nickname for Margot. As in go-go boots. How many cups of water did you put in there? And how many spoons of coffee beans?
I’ll write it all down for you,
Margot assures me. In the notebook.
We keep a house notebook by the fridge. Margot’s idea, of course. It has all the important numbers and Daddy’s schedule and Kitty’s carpool. Make sure you put in the number for the new dry cleaners,
I say.
Already done.
Margot slices a banana for her cereal: each slice is perfectly thin. And also, Josh wouldn’t have come to the airport with us anyway. You know how I feel about sad good-byes.
Margot makes a face, like Ugh, emotions.
I do know.
When Margot decided to go to college in Scotland, it felt like a betrayal. Even though I knew it was coming, because of course she was going to go to college somewhere far away. And of course she was going to go to college in Scotland and study anthropology, because she is Margot, the girl with the maps and the travel books and the plans. Of course she would leave us one day.
I’m still mad at her, just a little. Just a teeny-tiny bit. Obviously I know it’s not her fault. But she’s going so far away, and we always said we’d be the Song girls forever. Margot first, me in the middle, and my sister Kitty last. On her birth certificate she is Katherine; to us she is Kitty. Occasionally we call her Kitten, because that’s what I called her when she was born: she looked like a scrawny, hairless kitten.
We are the three Song girls. There used to be four. My mom, Eve Song. Evie to my dad, Mommy to us, Eve to everyone else. Song is, was, my mom’s last name. Our last name is Covey—Covey like lovey, not like cove. But the reason we are the Song girls and not the Covey girls is my mom used to say that she was a Song girl for life, and Margot said then we should be too. We all have Song for our middle name, and we look more Song than Covey anyway, more Korean than white. At least Margot and I do; Kitty looks most like Daddy: her hair is light brown like his. People say I look the most like Mommy, but I think Margot does, with her high cheekbones and dark eyes. It’s been almost six years now, and sometimes it feels like just yesterday she was here, and sometimes it feels like she never was, only in dreams.
She’d mopped the floors that morning; they were shiny and everything smelled like lemons and clean house. The phone was ringing in the kitchen, she came running in to answer it, and she slipped. She hit her head on the floor, and she was unconscious, but then she woke up and she was fine. That was her lucid interval. That’s what they call it. A little while later she said she had a headache, she went to lie down on the couch, and then she didn’t wake up.
Margot was the one who found her. She was twelve. She took care of everything: she called 911; she called Daddy; she told me to watch over Kitty, who was only three. I turned on the TV for Kitty in the playroom and I sat with her. That’s all I did. I don’t know what I would have done if Margot hadn’t been there. Even though Margot is only two years older than me, I look up to her more than anybody.
When other adults find out that my dad is a single father of three girls, they shake their heads in admiration, like How does he do it? How does he ever manage that all by himself? The answer is Margot. She’s been an organizer from the start, everything labeled and scheduled and arranged in neat, even rows.
Margot is a good girl, and I guess Kitty and I have followed her lead. I’ve never cheated or gotten drunk or smoked a cigarette or even had a boyfriend. We tease Daddy and say how lucky he is that we’re all so good, but the truth is, we’re the lucky ones. He’s a really good dad. And he tries hard. He doesn’t always understand us, but he tries, and that’s the important thing. We three Song girls have an unspoken pact: to make life as easy as possible for Daddy. But then again, maybe it’s not so unspoken, because how many times have I heard Margot say, Shh, be quiet, Daddy’s taking a nap before he has to go back to the hospital,
or Don’t bother Daddy with that; do it yourself
?
I’ve asked Margot what she thinks it would have been like if Mommy hadn’t died. Like would we spend more time with our Korean side of the family and not just on Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day? Or—
Margot doesn’t see the point in wondering. This is our life; there’s no use in asking what if. No one could ever give you the answers. I try, I really do, but it’s hard for me to accept this way of thinking. I’m always wondering about the what-ifs, about the road not taken.
Daddy and Kitty come downstairs at the same time. Margot pours Daddy a cup of coffee, black, and I pour milk in Kitty’s cereal bowl. I push it in front of her, and she turns her head away from me and gets a yogurt out of the fridge. She takes it into the living room to eat in front of the TV. So she’s still mad.
I’m going to go to Costco later today, so you girls make a list for whatever you need,
Daddy asks, taking a big sip of coffee. I think I’ll pick up some New York strips for dinner. We can grill out. Should I get one for Josh, too?
My head whips in Margot’s direction. She opens her mouth and closes it. Then she says, No, just get enough for the four of us, Daddy.
I give her a reproving look, and she ignores me. I’ve never known Margot to chicken out before, but I suppose in matters of the heart, there’s no predicting how a person will or won’t behave.
3
SO NOW IT’S THE LAST days of summer and our last days with Margot. Maybe it’s not altogether such a bad thing that she broke up with Josh; this way we have more time with just us sisters. I’m sure she must have thought of that. I’m sure it was part of the plan.
We’re driving out of our neighborhood when we see Josh run past. He joined track last year, so now he’s always running. Kitty yells his name, but the windows are up, and it’s no use anyway—he pretends not to hear. Turn around,
Kitty urges Margot. Maybe he wants to come with us.
This is a Song-girls-only day,
I tell her.
We spend the rest of the morning at Target, picking up last minute things like Honey Nut Chex mix for the flight and deodorant and hair ties. We let Kitty push the cart so she can do that thing where she gets a running start and then rides the cart like she’s pushing a chariot. Margot only lets her do it a couple of times before she makes her stop, though, so as not to annoy other customers.
Next we go back home and make chicken salad with green grapes for lunch and then it’s nearly time for Kitty’s swim meet. We pack a picnic dinner of ham-and-cheese sandwiches and fruit salad and bring Margot’s laptop to watch movies on, because swim meets can go long into the night. We make a sign, too, that says Go Kitty Go! I draw a dog on it. Daddy ends up missing the swim meet because he is delivering a baby, and as far as excuses go, it’s a pretty good one. (It was a girl, and they named her Patricia Rose after her two grandmothers. Daddy always finds out the first and middle name for me. It’s the first thing I ask when he gets home from a delivery.)
Kitty’s so excited about winning two first-place ribbons and one second place that she forgets to ask where Josh is until we’re in the car driving back home. She’s in the backseat and she’s got her towel wrapped around her head like a turban and her ribbons dangling from her ears like earrings. She leans forward and says, Hey! Why didn’t Josh come to my meet?
I can see Margot hesitate, so I answer before she can. Maybe the only thing I’m better at than Margot is lying. He had to work at the bookstore tonight. He really wanted to make it, though.
Margot reaches across the console and gives my hand a grateful squeeze.
Sticking out her lower lip, Kitty says, That was the last regular meet! He promised he’d come watch me swim.
It was a last-minute thing,
I say. He couldn’t get out of working the shift because one of his coworkers had an emergency.
Kitty nods begrudgingly. Little as she is, she understands emergency shifts.
Let’s get frozen custards,
Margot says suddenly.
Kitty lights up, and Josh and his imaginary emergency shift is forgotten. Yeah! I want a waffle cone! Can I get a waffle cone with two scoops? I want mint chip and peanut brittle. No, rainbow sherbet and double fudge. No, wait—
I twist around in my seat. You can’t finish two scoops and a waffle cone,
I tell her. Maybe you could finish two scoops in a cup, but not in a cone.
"Yes, I can. Tonight I can. I’m starving."
Fine, but you better finish the whole thing.
I shake my finger at her and say it like a threat, which makes her roll her eyes and giggle. As for me, I’ll get what I always get—the cherry chocolate-chunk custard in a sugar cone.
Margot pulls into the drive-thru, and as we wait our turn, I say, I bet they don’t have frozen custard in Scotland.
Probably not,
she says.
You won’t have another one of these until Thanksgiving,
I say.
Margot looks straight ahead. Christmas,
she says, correcting me. Thanksgiving’s too short to fly all that way, remember?
Thanksgiving’s gonna suck.
Kitty pouts.
I’m silent. We’ve never had a Thanksgiving without Margot. She always does the turkey and the broccoli casserole and the creamed onions. I do the pies (pumpkin and pecan) and the mashed potatoes. Kitty is the taste tester and the table setter. I don’t know how to roast a turkey. And both of our grandmothers will be there, and Nana, Daddy’s mother, likes Margot best of all of us. She says Kitty drains her and I’m too dreamy-eyed.
All of a sudden I feel panicky and it’s hard to breathe and I couldn’t care less about cherry chocolate-chunk custard. I can’t picture Thanksgiving without Margot. I can’t even picture next Monday without her. I know most sisters don’t get along, but I’m closer to Margot than I am to anybody in the world. How can we be the Song girls without Margot?
4
MY OLDEST FRIEND, CHRIS, SMOKES; she hooks up with boys she doesn’t know hardly at all; and she’s been suspended twice. One time she had to go before the court for truancy. I never knew what truancy was before I met Chris. FYI, it’s when you skip so much school you’re in trouble with the law.
I’m pretty sure that if Chris and I met each other now, we wouldn’t be friends. We’re as different as different can be. But it wasn’t always this way. In sixth grade Chris liked stationery and sleepovers and staying up all night watching John Hughes movies, just like me. But by eighth grade she was sneaking out after my dad fell asleep to meet boys she met at the mall. They’d drop her back off before it got light outside. I’d stay up until she came back, terrified she wouldn’t make it home before my dad woke up. She always made it back in time though.
Chris isn’t the kind of friend you call every night or have lunch with every day. She is like a street cat, she comes and goes as she pleases. She can’t be tied down to a place or a person. Sometimes I won’t see Chris for days and then in the middle of the night there will be a knock at my bedroom window and it’ll be Chris, crouched in the magnolia tree. I keep my window unlocked for her in case. Chris and Margot can’t stand each other. Chris thinks Margot is uptight, and Margot thinks Chris is bipolar. She thinks Chris uses me; Chris thinks Margot controls me. I think maybe they’re both a little bit right. But the important thing, the real thing, is Chris and I understand each other, which I think counts for a lot more than people realize.
Chris calls me on the way over to our house; she says her mom’s being a beotch and she’s coming over for a couple hours and do we have any food?
Chris and I are sharing a bowl of leftover gnocchi in the living room when Margot comes home from dropping Kitty off at her swim team’s end-of-season barbecue. Oh, hey,
she says. Then she spots Chris’s glass of Diet Coke on the coffee table, sans coaster. Can you please use a coaster?
As soon as Margot’s up the stairs, Chris says, Gawd! Why is your sister such a beotch?
I slide a coaster under her glass. You think everyone’s a beotch today.
That’s because everyone is.
Chris rolls her eyes toward the ceiling. Loudly, she says, She needs to pull that stick out of her ass.
From her room Margot yells, I heard that!
I meant for you to!
Chris yells back, scraping up the last piece of gnocchi for herself.
I sigh. She’s leaving so soon.
Snickering, Chris says, So is Joshy, like, going to light a candle for her every night until she comes back home?
I hesitate. While I’m not sure if it’s still supposed to be a secret, I am sure that Margot wouldn’t want Chris knowing any of her personal business. All I say is, I’m not sure.
Wait a minute. Did she dump him?
Chris demands.
Reluctantly I nod. Don’t say anything to her, though,
I warn. She’s still really sad about it.
Margot? Sad?
Chris picks at her nails. Margot doesn’t have normal human emotions like the rest of us.
You just don’t know her,
I say. Besides, we can’t all be like you.
She grins a toothy grin. She has sharp incisors, which make her look always a little bit hungry. True.
Chris is pure emotion. She screams at the drop of a hat. She says