The History of Us: A Novel
By Leah Stewart
3.5/5
()
About this ebook
Sometimes home is the hardest place to go
Eloise Hempel is on her way to teach her first class at Harvard when she receives the devastating news that her sister and her husband have been killed in a tragic accident. Eloise leaves her life in Cambridge and moves back into her family’s century-old house in Cincinnati, pouring her own money into the house’s upkeep and her heart into raising her sister’s three children, Theodora, Josh, and Claire.
Nearly twenty years later, the now-grown children seem ready to leave home, and Eloise plans to sell the house and finally start a life that’s hers alone. But when Eloise’s mother decides that they should all compete for the chance to keep the house and Claire reveals a life-changing secret, the makeshift family begins to fall apart and ultimately must decide what in life is worth fighting for.
Leah Stewart
Leah Stewart is the critically acclaimed author of The History of Us, Husband and Wife, The Myth of You and Me, and Body of a Girl. The recipient of a Sachs Fund Prize and a NEA Literature Fellowship, she teaches in the creative writing program at the University of Cincinnati and lives in Cincinnati with her husband and two children. Visit her online at LeahStewart.com.
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Reviews for The History of Us
41 ratings11 reviews
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Absolutely loved the development of this group of characters and their interactions---it seemed just as if I was there listening to each of them think and talk to each other. I grew to like all of them and their problems---really beautifully written and read in the audio version by Cassandra Campbell.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The book begins with Eloise Hempel reveling in her life as a successfully published, Harvard Professor. She can hardly believe that she has achieved this dream. Her life is shattered with one phone call from her niece - her sister and brother in law have died on vacation and Eloise's mother is, well a useless piece of blubber unable to care for her three grandchildren. When Eloise arrives her mother, Francine basically decamps saying she can't handle things and leaves Eloise with the children. The eldest, Theo is afraid of leaving her grandmother's house so Eloise gives up everything she worked for to rear the children in her mother's monstrosity of a house in Cincinnati.The book then jumps in time to the children's adulthood. They have all received excellent educations and each one has a talent that Eloise has let fly. The children themselves though (if you ask me) are a bunch of entitled, whining, spoiled brats. Eloise is far from perfect but she never set out to be a mother and these kids are all about me, me, me. I had serious problems on a number of levels with this book the biggest one being there not being one likable character. It's hard to invest in a book when you really don't care about anyone in it. But the book did evoke strong emotions in that I wanted to scream at these kids because they didn't realize how good they had it; yes their parents died but they had someone who took rather good care of them and they weren't cold, starving or lacking for anything.*sigh*Books about this generation about drive me batty. Can you tell? I guess that perhaps I am just too old and I'll leave it at that. The writing is good which is the only reason I finished the book. I don't know if the author was intentionally keeping her characters stupid or blind to what was going on around them or the reader was just supposed to ignore that a woman studying for her post graduate degree (Theo, the eldest) had no concept of what it cost to run a big house in the city or to educate three children. Or that any of the kids understood the money involved in their upbringing. Or that none of them could figure out the romantic status of their aunt. Seriously - are they THAT self involved? If this is truly how this generation is being raised I'm glad I'm old. OK - I suppose I should rant in a book review....The characters ARE very well developed and there is a strong plot. This just was not a book for me.Rating:
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5There’s that saying that you can’t pick your family. You know the one and have probably marveled at its truthfulness at one family event or another over the years. That’s sort of the point of The History of Us. It’s all about family, and all the great and annoying qualities you wouldn’t trade for the world mostly because those defining moments in life become great blog fodder. Yes, that.Eloise Hemple is a newly minted college professor when she receives a call informing her that her sister and brother-in-law have died in an accident. She rushes home and somehow never leaves; staying to raise children that aren’t hers but children she can’t live without --- the only part of her sister she has left. Life veers into the unfamiliar and instead of writing well-received research papers on her topic of choice, she’s struggling to pay the heating bills, ballet lessons, and save for college for three children that were not part of the future she imaged, and so carefully planned, for herself.I wanted to feel sorry for Eloise but I couldn’t because she wouldn’t let you. She knew from the moment she took that call that her life would never be what she thought, and hoped, it would be. Her three children (and they are her children), Theo, Josh, and Claire, are a different story though. Her niece Theo is a self-righteous, annoying person who thinks she’s been slighted her whole life. Yes, she lost parents but Eloise went out of her way to ensure she never lacked for anything giving up any hope of a life she might have had for Theo’s sake. When Eloise finally starts to want a life of her own after raising the three siblings, Theo balks and does everything she can to blame her for any bit of unhappiness she feels or has ever felt. Josh, well, he copes like he always does. Claire throws every plan on its head with a decision no one saw coming. All in all, life in most families.There are the ones you feel sad for, the ones you get annoyed by, and the ones you just like no matter what. Stewart manages all the personalities well and doesn’t let you like or dislike anyone of these characters too much. It’s a heartwarming story and if you happen to like family drama, I’d give this one a try. You’ll be annoyed, you’ll possibly want to yell at a character or two, then you’ll finish the book, grab a glass of wine and head back in that room with your family knowing it will all work out somehow. Or at the very least, you’ll come out of it with a story to tell.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5This was just published in 2013 and what a good book! I love how this author writes. It's another book about family relationships (4 members) and thwarted desires, and responsibility, and choices and love. I read it straight through today; couldn't put it down. It takes place in Cincinnati and deals with ballet, music, teaching, lesbianism and more, lol.
- Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5I found this a book of very variable quality writing. Some aspects were well written, but much of it was too 'tabloid' for my liking. The three orphaned children were not at all sympathetically or deeply developed, and their lives seemed to be stuck in early teenage romanticism. The 'lesbian' aunt was portrayed as being willing and able to easily switch from her long-time female relationship to having a sexual relationship with a man, with really minimal self examination. OK, I'm not a lesbian myself, but I reckon there's not many who would behave as superficially as this person. This book is indeed very location-oriented (Cincinnati), as other LibraryThing reviewers have observed, and that's not necessarily bad. A much more respectable author, Elizabeth Hay, has said "location is everything" but when she writes you can see the truth of her statement. Leah Stewart's writing does seem to me to be a bit less profound in making out that geographic connection. On the other hand, I've never been to Cincinnati, so I'd have to allow that possibility that it is the sort of place that doesn't have so much impact.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5I received this book free as part of a Goodreads first-reads giveaway. That said, this was the first book I've read from this author and I only moderately liked it. It is about a somewhat self-centered woman who regrettably inherits her sister's three children (after she dies in a tragic accident), and is ill-equipped for the challenges that being a responsible guardian brings. I kept trying to really get into this book but I just couldn't, and consequently it will probably not be remembered for long. The story never really reached a crescendo to me. It was just about people struggling within their dysfunctional environment...trying to deal with relationship drama, as well as their own feelings about each other. I was never really pulled in and I didn't feel intensely about anyone in the story. The writing was good, and I found myself laughing out loud at times, but the story just didn't thrill me. Also, the author used too many "F" words unnecessarily, and that was becoming a bother to me as I don't feel that a truly great story needs a lot of profanity for it to be a success. It is for these reasons that I rate the book 3 stars.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Really lovely your shared ppt book, we like in this book basically matter over good family show amzing
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Loved the relationships in this book, the doubts about what do to next, what move to take, realistic and refreshing.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The book begins with Eloise Hempel reveling in her life as a successfully published, Harvard Professor. She can hardly believe that she has achieved this dream. Her life is shattered with one phone call from her niece - her sister and brother in law have died on vacation and Eloise's mother is, well a useless piece of blubber unable to care for her three grandchildren. When Eloise arrives her mother, Francine basically decamps saying she can't handle things and leaves Eloise with the children. The eldest, Theo is afraid of leaving her grandmother's house so Eloise gives up everything she worked for to rear the children in her mother's monstrosity of a house in Cincinnati.The book then jumps in time to the children's adulthood. They have all received excellent educations and each one has a talent that Eloise has let fly. The children themselves though (if you ask me) are a bunch of entitled, whining, spoiled brats. Eloise is far from perfect but she never set out to be a mother and these kids are all about me, me, me. I had serious problems on a number of levels with this book the biggest one being there not being one likable character. It's hard to invest in a book when you really don't care about anyone in it. But the book did evoke strong emotions in that I wanted to scream at these kids because they didn't realize how good they had it; yes their parents died but they had someone who took rather good care of them and they weren't cold, starving or lacking for anything.*sigh*Books about this generation about drive me batty. Can you tell? I guess that perhaps I am just too old and I'll leave it at that. The writing is good which is the only reason I finished the book. I don't know if the author was intentionally keeping her characters stupid or blind to what was going on around them or the reader was just supposed to ignore that a woman studying for her post graduate degree (Theo, the eldest) had no concept of what it cost to run a big house in the city or to educate three children. Or that any of the kids understood the money involved in their upbringing. Or that none of them could figure out the romantic status of their aunt. Seriously - are they THAT self involved? If this is truly how this generation is being raised I'm glad I'm old. OK - I suppose I should rant in a book review....The characters ARE very well developed and there is a strong plot. This just was not a book for me.Rating:
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Drastic rumpasan.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/52.5
Book preview
The History of Us - Leah Stewart
Part One
Here & Now
2010
1
The house was on Clifton Avenue near the intersection with Lafayette. It, and the houses around it, had been built by men of note and wealth in the nineteenth century, when Cincinnati, Queen of the West, City of the Seven Hills, was as grand as its nicknames, when it meant something to be a river town. From the street the lawn sloped up to the house, so that the eye rose to it and then kept rising, drawn upward by decorative bricks to the gable with the half-moon window, the two high chimneys on either side. To the guests arriving for a party on a bright evening in late June, the house gave the impression of turning its face up to meet the sun. Even the people who’d been there before were struck again by the old-fashioned loveliness of the place. The way the arches of the porte cochere conjured images of the elegant necks of horses, the skirts of ladies alighting from carriages. The way the columned, semicircular portico and the bay windows above it resembled the top tiers of a wedding cake. As they grew close they noted the wrought-iron grille on the front door, the leaded-glass windows, and then inside they marveled at the chandelier in the entryway, the elaborately carved woodwork, the tiles around the fireplace with their raised seashells, the walls of the living room, upholstered in a faded pink damask with a pattern in gold.
Standing in the living room with a sweating gin and tonic in her hand, Eloise accepted compliments on these marvels, answered questions or directed the asker to Theo, who knew much more about the house than she did, and tried to resist saying anything she was thinking. Like for instance that she took little pride in the house, which she’d done nothing to earn, unless having lived there as a child counted as a kind of work. She couldn’t have afforded it even at Cincinnati prices, and certainly not in any city where she would actually have liked to live. She didn’t say, either, that she hated that stupid fabric on the wall, that to her its Victorian qualities were stultifying rather than charming, and made her feel like she’d been squeezed into a corset and offered a fainting couch. That fabric would be long gone if the house were actually hers rather than just hers to maintain. She understood the desire to make a romance of history, to see the work of long-dead artisans as proof of humanity’s capacity for beauty, as a graceful intrusion of the past upon the present, like a benevolent ghost drifting through the attic in a long white gown. You could touch the glinting gold thread and imagine the weaver who’d made it, the lady of the house who’d chosen it, the workers who’d tacked it to the walls and filled in cotton batting, the partygoers of a hundred and more years ago who’d gathered before it like you and your friends gathered now, and you could think of how the past and the present telescoped and yet stayed firmly apart, of how we imagine and yet fail to understand other lives in ways that are both beautiful and sad, of the awesome brevity of a human life. Or, if you were Eloise, you could look at the fabric, at the room, at the house and for that matter the city, and see reminder upon reminder of all that had been lost.
Eloise had lived in the house from birth to eighteen, and then again from twenty-eight to—when? There was still a blank for that answer, like the one left for the death year on the gravestone of a person still alive. She was forty-five now, and still there, complaining about the dust and the creaky floors and the way the cold blew through the rope windows, original to the house and, like the front door, both too beautiful and too expensive to replace. When the children were younger she used to joke that once she’d been a prisoner in the house, and now she was the warden. But in truth prisoner was still how she felt—not all the time, but on her bad days. Among the things Eloise didn’t say was that as soon as she could get Francine to—finally, finally—sign the house over, she planned to put it on the market and start wishing hard.
I can’t imagine what it was like to grow up in a house like this,
said Marisa Li-Silva, who was the girlfriend of Eloise’s young colleague Noah Garcia, the one Eloise frequently worried would leave their department for a job on one of the coasts. He was standing there, too, reading the label on his local microbrew. He’d been to the house once before and was leaving the exclaiming to Marisa.
I didn’t really know any better,
Eloise said.
I mean, that chandelier!
Marisa said.
I know,
Eloise said. It’s sparkly.
You must have had a point when you realized that this wasn’t, you know, typical,
Marisa said. She was very pretty, and dressed like she expected the paparazzi, and Eloise felt a two-pronged pang of sympathy: for Theo, because Eloise suspected she had a crush on Noah, and for herself, because Marisa lived in L.A. and might compel Noah to move back there.
I guess,
Eloise said. I mean I had plenty of friends who didn’t live in houses like this. Though this is an old city, by American standards, and so most of the houses are old. Hardwood floors, stained-glass windows, fireplaces, plaster walls. For newer houses you have to go to the suburbs. That’s where you have to go if you want to be able to pull a nail out of your wall without leaving a two-inch hole.
But this isn’t just old, it’s a mansion,
Marisa said.
Noah glanced up from his beer to say, Imagine what this place would cost in L.A.
Marisa said, without looking at him, It’s not like we could afford it here either,
and Noah said, We could afford a lot more here than we could in L.A.
You know what I do remember?
Eloise said, as if stepping between them. I remember seeing some old movie—something black and white, with the actress making a dramatic entrance down a grand staircase—and thinking, That looks like my house. I think that’s what made me realize the house was a mansion. Not life but the movies. After that my sister and I dressed up and took turns being the beautiful lady on the stairs and being the admirer below.
Rebecca,
Marisa said.
What?
Eloise asked.
"I bet it was Rebecca, Marisa said.
That’s a big scene in that movie."
Marisa knows everything about every movie ever,
Noah said.
Well, you work in Hollywood, right?
Eloise asked.
I do,
Marisa said. She hesitated and said nothing more, probably, Eloise deduced with a glance at Noah’s resolutely neutral expression, because her job and the separation it required was a source of conflict between them. Eloise knew from comments Noah had made that he’d tried and failed to get Marisa to move to Cincinnati with him a year ago, when he’d taken the job at Wyett College, where Eloise was the chair of the History Department. The subject needed changing, because Eloise sympathized with Marisa but couldn’t say so, because she wanted Marisa to lose this fight. If Noah moved to be with her it would leave Eloise’s department without a specialist in Latin America and her with one less colleague who wasn’t certifiably insane.
Do you like that beer?
she asked Noah, and he said he did and asked where she’d gotten it, so, glad of the excuse, she called Josh’s name and waved him over. Josh, her sweet-natured, reliable nephew, ever ready to deploy his endless resources of charm. He walked up wearing a smile. He said, Hi, Josh Clarke,
and shook their hands, and Eloise watched Noah and Marisa lift their heads to meet his eyes, wondering if she’d ever get used to how tall he was, when once upon a time he had been so small. She said, Noah wants to know where you got the beer.
Jungle Jim’s,
Josh said. Have you been there?
Noah shook his head.
You have to go,
Josh said. "It’s this huge grocery store about a half hour north of us. But grocery store doesn’t even begin to describe it. It’s a grocery amusement park. It’s an acre and a half of everything from Amish butter to candies from Thailand. They have this international section along one wall that’s made to look like shops in different countries—England, Italy, France. They have every kind of beer you could possibly imagine, and lots you’ve probably never heard of. Plus animatronic animals."
Marisa looked at Noah. How come you’ve never taken me there?
Noah looked back in some surprise. (A) You never want to go anywhere, and (B) I didn’t realize it was so awesome,
he said. He raised his beer to Josh. Tell her more good things about Cincinnati,
he said.
Josh laughed. Well,
he said. We have a good ballet.
Oh, right,
Noah said. Your sister.
His sister?
Marisa asked.
Claire,
Eloise said. She’s a ballerina. She started her training with the academy here. She’s actually about to leave for New York to dance in a company there. Her flight’s on Monday.
Wow,
Marisa said.
I know, right?
Noah said. There are a lot of artists here.
I meant, wow, she’s leaving for New York on Monday,
Marisa said. Because that’s where you want to go if you’re a ballerina.
I guess they do think of New York as the big time,
Josh said, but the company here is really good. One of the principal dancers is coming tonight. Claire’s former teacher. Or maybe she’s already here.
I don’t think so,
Eloise said. But we’ll introduce you when she gets here. There’s also the symphony, and a good regional theater, and opera in the summer. Art-house theaters. Good music venues. Lots of bands come through.
You know the band the National?
Noah asked. They’re from here.
That’s right,
Josh said.
Have you been to Music Now?
Noah asked Josh. To Marisa he said, That’s the festival the National guitarist curates. I told you about it.
I’ve been, but not to the last one,
Josh said.
It was awesome, man, totally awesome. Joanna Newsom is a fucking angel. What kind of music are you into?
Oh, mostly that kind of stuff,
Josh said. He had reasons for changing the subject now, Eloise knew, but she wished she could have stopped him before he changed it back to Marisa’s job. She was, Eloise remembered as soon as Marisa said it, the assistant to a film producer—and though she answered Josh’s first few questions briefly and warily, with occasional glances at Noah, as soon as she got going on a script she’d just read it was all smooth sailing. The script had come in from a college friend of Anita—that was the producer-boss—and Anita had asked Marisa to read it and write a nice note, pretending to be her. Anita couldn’t bear to be the one to crush her old friend’s dreams, even if the note would be in her name, which was a point neither Eloise nor Josh understood but didn’t press. Anyway the script had turned out to be good! And now Anita was letting Marisa make notes on it. She was going to let Marisa talk to the writer. Maybe, maybe this would be the first film Marisa actually had a hand in getting made.
You didn’t tell me any of this,
Noah said. He was obviously a little aggrieved but working at not sounding like it.
Well,
Marisa said. It just happened, you know.
She gave Noah a quick look and then turned back to Josh and smiled. How sad, Eloise thought, to be afraid to share good news with your partner because he’d just take it as one more win for your side. Josh wore a worried expression. He hated tension, confrontation, bad feelings of any kind. Eloise could see that he wanted to rescue them all.
Here’s an idea,
he said to Noah. Maybe she can get Joanna Newsom to play on the soundtrack and you can meet her.
"That is an idea," Noah said.
Marisa laughed. Don’t even think it. I don’t want to compete with an angel.
You know you’d win,
Noah said, putting his arm around her, and Josh turned to Eloise with a smile of complicit pleasure.
She smiled back, if a little weakly. This party was taking so much effort. Other people wore her out, because—as her friend Heather was fond of pointing out—she felt compelled to entertain them. Well, she was used to everybody looking at her when she talked, wasn’t she? The older she got the clearer it became to her that she liked other people best when they were contained by the seats in her classroom. These days she had parties out of a sense of obligation more than an anticipation of pleasure. This particular party—a celebration of the house’s one hundred and twentieth birthday—she hadn’t wanted to have at all. It had been Theo’s idea. Why?
Eloise had said. Houses don’t have birthdays. People will think they have to bring gifts.
For the house?
Theo asked. What do you give a house?
Furnace,
Eloise said. Roof.
She ticked off the items on her fingers. Water heater. New wiring. Paint. New pipes.
You’re afraid the guests will show up with new pipes?
I hope they do,
Eloise said. We haven’t done any plumbing in a while.
It’s not just a birthday party for the house,
Theo said. It’s a going-away party for Claire, since she won’t let us throw her one. We just won’t tell her that.
Eloise still shook her head. I think it’s weird to throw a going-away party for a house.
"For Claire, Theo corrected.
The house isn’t going anywhere, is it?" Eloise, startled to realize her slip of the tongue, agreed to the party rather than answer that question.
Hey,
Josh said now, spotting something past Eloise. Isn’t that Adelaide now?
Eloise followed his gaze to see a dark-haired, long-necked woman being ushered inside by one of Eloise’s friends from book club. I think so,
she said.
Got to be,
Josh said. Look at her. That woman is definitely a ballet dancer.
Will you go talk to her?
Eloise asked. I’ll see if I can find Claire.
Eloise moved through the crowd across the foyer to look into the dining room, where people gathered around the hors d’oeuvres laid out on the table. No Claire, but she did see Theo, talking to Josh’s boss, Ben. He was looking through the photo album Theo had made when she was supposed to be working on her dissertation, filled with every picture of the house she could locate, arranged in her best guess at chronological order. Now she was pointing out photos and narrating like a tour guide. Theo, with her mobile, expressive features, her tendency to gesture expansively, was the sort of person whose appearance seems to change with her mood. Happy and animated, as she was now, she was lovely. This is about the time my grandparents bought the house, in 1958. Some of the woodwork had been painted
—she said this with a shudder—but they restored it to how it would have looked when it was built.
When was it built?
Ben asked.
Eighteen ninety,
she said. "It’s in the Colonial Revival style, although it has three stories instead of the usual two. Do you know how we came to call the floors of a building stories? Because of the murals on the different floors. So if you were on the third floor you were on the third story."
That’s a good fact,
Ben said.
I know,
Theo said. I like that one. It’s good to know where things come from.
Do you write about houses? Like, architectural history?
No,
Theo said. Not at all. I’ve just researched this house, and the city, too, because I’m interested. I could tell you where the oldest house is, or where there used to be water—
Where there used to be water?
Yeah, like in Northside—one of the streets has newer houses than the others, because that area was water. Or, Over-the-Rhine used to be separated from downtown by a canal. Did you know that? That’s how it got that name, because German immigrants called the canal the Rhine. When they were taking the canal out, that’s when they got the idea to build a subway. But of course they never finished it.
Listening to her niece, the pleasure in her voice as she imparted these facts, Eloise winced. She’d tried without success to break Theo of her fondness for their hometown. Theo had come back for graduate school four years before despite offers from more prestigious schools, and moved back into the room she shared with Claire as though she’d never left. She put an I LOVE CINCINNATI bumper sticker on her car and wore T-shirts that said MADE IN OHIO or showed photos of local landmarks under the words THIS IS WHERE I’M FROM. Local landmarks, plus a shot of police in riot gear and one of Pete Rose grabbing his balls with a fuck-you expression on his face. It’s the complete picture,
Theo had said in answer to whatever wry comment Eloise had made. Cincinnati’s gritty.
In Cincinnati you could make a virtue of grittiness, take pride in not living in some cleaner, wealthier, wussier city, though that was a problematic stance if you lived in a house like theirs. Even if it was a six-minute walk from a hot spot of crime, even if a friend who lived two streets over once had to dive under a car to avoid getting caught in cross fire. Did Theo’s civic pride extend to the high crime rate? The conservative provinciality of the population, the intractable problems of the urban poor, the low self-esteem? To identify so strongly with a city like this—what did that say about you? In Cincinnati when locals asked where you went to school they meant what high school. In Cincinnati when locals met a newcomer they asked, "Why’d you move here?" It was a dying city, no matter how Theo winced and protested when Eloise used that term. One day the electricity would blink off, the shops would close their doors, the people would get in their cars and drive away. Abrupt as a cardiac arrest.
A hand slipped into Eloise’s and squeezed. She looked over to see Heather, who released her hand before Eloise could pull away. So careful of Eloise’s desire for secrecy, even as it clearly hurt and sometimes angered her, even as Eloise went on spending nights in Heather’s bed and then introducing her as her friend.
Eloise wanted to reach out and push Heather’s dark hair back behind her ear, smooth it where the humid weather was starting to make it frizz, but she didn’t. Heather wore the necklace Eloise had bought her the week before at an art fair, a sparkly glass pendant on a black cord. The gold in the glass seemed to call forth gold in her brown eyes. I really like how that looks on you,
Eloise said.
Thanks,
Heather said, her fingers going to the pendant. How are you doing?
I’m feeling guilty.
Eloise pointed her chin at Theo. She loves this house.
I know, but she can’t stay here forever whether you sell it or not.
Eloise sighed. She didn’t know how to make Theo understand that the house was, like many family legacies, as much a burden as a gift. Francine might have hung on to ownership of the house even after she moved to Tennessee, but she’d handed over its upkeep as if she were breaking a curse, or passing it on. Theo would say the place was more gift than burden, but she wasn’t the one who had to offer up a four-figure sum to Duke Energy every month. She could complain about the cold (because winters in Cincinnati were quite cold) or the heat (because summers in Cincinnati were quite hot) without immediately thinking of how much these vagaries of temperature would cost her. Cold winters and hot summers—this unfair combination was another of the grievances against Cincinnati on Eloise’s very long list.
She’s twenty-eight years old,
Eloise said. Why does she have to be told to move out? Why doesn’t she want to do it on her own? And Josh. He’s been back a year. He’s still not even talking about getting his own place.
She looked at Heather. I stunted them somehow.
Don’t start that again,
Heather said. You always encouraged them. They’re just broke. Times like this make you hesitate to spend money. And the house is really big.
I hope someone won’t hesitate to spend money on this place,
Eloise said. Or I’ll never get rid of it.
Have you talked to your mother?
Not yet. I thought I’d call once Claire is gone.
You think she’ll actually do it this time?
That’s what she said, the last time I asked. She’d sign it over once Claire was grown.
Eloise made a face. But who the hell knows. She lives to torment me.
You can just walk away,
Heather said. Move in with me. You know I won’t charge you rent.
But then I have no savings. I have nothing to show for everything I’ve put into this place.
Eloise gave her a rueful smile. I’m tiresome, I know. I repeat myself. Are you sure you want me in your house, saying the same things over and over?
Heather pretended to consider. Do I have to listen?
Some of the time,
Eloise said. But we can bargain. We can work that out.
She looked back at Josh, checking on him, and saw him talking with apparent ease to Adelaide. I have to go find Claire.
She went upstairs a while ago with a couple of her friends.
Eloise nodded, took a step toward the kitchen, then stopped. Heather,
she said, am I wrong to want to sell this place? Does it mean too much to them?
You’re not wrong,
Heather said. They love the house, I know, but they don’t pay the property taxes.
Eloise found Claire in the den on the second floor, talking to two of her friends. They’d been dance majors together at the performing arts high school, but while Claire went on to a career in dance the other two were going to college, and perhaps because of that they treated Claire as if she were a little bit of a celebrity. It sometimes bothered Eloise that people were so careful with Claire, as if she were fragile, as if she were so special as not to be quite real. True, she was lovely, with her fairy-child eyes, her long, long neck. She looked so delicate, so ethereal, and yet she was anything but.
Claire, move your butt,
Eloise said, startling the friends and making her niece smile. Adelaide’s here.
Claire scrambled to her feet with less than her usual grace. She worshiped Adelaide. She’s in the foyer talking to Josh,
Eloise called after Claire as she and her friends disappeared out the door. For a moment, Eloise lingered, reluctant to return to the fray. This room, repository for the television and the video games and the music in all its assorted formats from records to iPods, had been the playroom when she and Rachel were young, and then the TV room as they grew older, the place they spent much of their time, the more formal first floor being the domain of their mother. Eloise still felt like that part of the house didn’t quite belong to her.
Why didn’t she just move in with Heather, whether her mother gave her the house or not? Why was she dragging her feet? Maybe it was because she’d never imagined finally leaving this house only to move across town. But here was the truth: Eloise was forty-five and this was where she had a job and friends and a secret girlfriend and a house she might or might not be able to sell. This was, now and forever, where she was from.
In the first year or so after coming home for the children, and intermittently since, she’d lived with an intense awareness of elsewhere. In this land, which encompassed New York and Boston and other northeastern cities and towns, life went on at a higher volume, a more rapid pace. While she waited to cross the street, its people built bridges. Their sky was bright with city lights and philosophies. She had recurring dreams of being not just late but incapable of arriving—some party or meeting or class already under way while the minutes sped past on her clock and she stood stupefied at the bathroom mirror, unable to comprehend why she was still half-dressed, why she hadn’t yet brushed her hair. Elsewhere—once upon a time she’d been able to go there by car or by plane. Now she needed a tornado.
2
When the party was finally over, Eloise went up to her room and lay down on top of her quilt with one arm flung in dramatic exhaustion over her eyes. She heaved an enormous sigh, and at that moment Theo came in, said, That’s how I feel, too,
and lay down beside her. Then Claire, so silent on her dancer feet that Eloise didn’t notice her until the bed shifted under her weight. At times like this, when the girls came to her like children, warm and sleepy, seeking contact, it was easy to forget how old they were. It was easy to forget not to call them the children.
At most she could get away with the kids.
Certainly they were still kids to her, even at twenty-eight and twenty-six and nineteen. They were still her kids, even if it had taken her years to stop flinching when people called them that, as if in claiming them as hers she was stealing from Rachel.
That was too many people,
Theo said.
It was your idea,
Eloise said, feeling amused, annoyed, and a little sad. Theo was so like her—throwing herself into maniacal organization of a party she hadn’t actually enjoyed.
So I don’t get to complain?
Yes,
Eloise said. I believe that’s in the contract.
I had fun,
Claire said.
That’s because you didn’t have to think of things to talk about,
Theo said. You never have to think of things to talk about.
I wouldn’t say never,
Claire said. It’s only because people have so many questions about ballet.
Eloise took her arm off her eyes to look at her niece. What do they ask you?
"They ask what my favorite ballet is, and if I’ve done The Nutcracker. They tell me what ballets they’ve seen. Usually The Nutcracker. Claire shrugged.
They ask if all the men are gay."
Eloise laughed. Haven’t they heard of Baryshnikov? Do women ask you that more, or men?
I don’t know,
Claire said. I haven’t paid attention.
From below they heard Josh’s footsteps on the stairs, then silence. Shhhh,
Theo said, and she and Claire giggled childishly. Where is everybody?
Josh called. Why am I cleaning up by myself?
Up here!
Eloise shouted.
His footsteps resumed and Theo whispered, Hide!
The girls giggled again.
Now, children,
Eloise said. Be nice to your brother.
We’re always nice to our brother,
Claire said, and it was true, they mostly were. Every so often two of the kids bonded in a way that excluded the third. Sometimes it was Theo who got left out, sometimes it was Josh, walking around with an aggrieved and mournful air. It was never Claire. Nor was she ever the one to instigate the excluding. She was the prize in a silent game of tug-of-war. For all Eloise could tell Claire didn’t even notice.
Josh came in the room slowly, nodding as if to say I see how it is. He stood over the bed and crossed his arms. Gazing up at him, Theo said, Man, you’re tall.
Dude,
Claire said. Dude, you’re tall,
and the girls giggled again.
Josh ignored them. What do we have here?
he asked. You guys snuggle like kittens in a basket while I pick up beer bottles?
We’re tired,
Theo said. We’re not as naturally charming as you. We’ve been working hard.
Natural charm takes it out of you, too,
Josh said.
I wouldn’t know,
Eloise said. My charm is entirely unnatural.
You make it look easy, though,
Theo said. Every time I looked at you, you had a circle of people around you, hanging on your every word.
Eloise winced. I talked too much,
she said. You guys are supposed to stop me from holding forth like that.
People like to hear you talk,
Josh said. You’re interesting.
Eloise wanted to ask, Am I really interesting? Or do I just coast on having once been interesting?
But for God’s sake, woman, spare the kids your self-pity. Play something for us, would you?
she said to Josh.
Oh, good idea,
Theo said. I haven’t heard you play in ages.
Such demanding women,
Josh said.
Come on, Joshy,
Claire said, and the nickname she’d used in her baby years worked on him, the way they’d all known it would. He shrugged in that agreeable way of his that sometimes drove Eloise mad—yes or no! she wanted to scream—and sometimes, like now, made her want to squeeze and kiss him like she had when he was a child, tousle his curls, bring out his sweet and joyful smile. He left the room to get one of his guitars, and Eloise said, I’m surprised he’s willing to play.
It’s for Claire,
Theo said.
It’s for all of us,
Claire said, and Theo said, No, it’s not.
Josh returned, sat in the chair at the end of the bed, and began to tune the guitar. What should I play?
A lullaby,
Theo said and yawned.
A lullaby,
Josh repeated. He strummed, strummed again, staring at the ceiling. Then he sang, his voice low and mournful, Phone rings in the middle of the night. My father yells, what you gonna do with your life?
Eloise laughed. Josh had started playing this melancholy version of the song—which at one point had been the girls’ favorite—years ago. He’d always loved taking familiar songs and changing the tone, making a sad song an upbeat jaunt, a happy song a dirge. Emotion for him was malleable, manageable, while for Claire it was a wave you rode, for Theo something you compartmentalized, analyzed, pretended you could control.
On the chorus they all sang. At the end of the song they clapped, but Josh wasn’t finished. We had a party and now we’re tired. Oh, who is gonna clean up the house tonight? Oh, Theo dear, this party was your idea. You’d better go and pick up the beer. You’d better go and pick up the beer.
Everybody better stop saying the party was my idea in that resentful way,
Theo said. "The house will hear you