Deceptions
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In a glittering world of lazy luxury, Sabrina reigns supreme. Invited to the most elegant parties, pursued by the most desirable men, she yearned for something more. . . . Her twin, Stephanie, is safely married with two adorable children and has everything in life that Sabrina lacks. But Stephanie longs to live like her rich and carefree sister. Changing places was to be their little secret. The game was never meant to get out of control. Neither of them dreamed how easy it would be to get lost in a maze of deceptions. . . .
Judith Michael
Judith Michael is the pen name of husband-and-wife writing team Judith Barnard and Michael Fain, who live in Chicago and Aspen. Among their New York Times bestsellers are the novels Deceptions, Possessions, Private Affairs, Inheritance, A Ruling Passion, Sleeping Beauty, Pot of Gold, and A Tangled Web.
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Deceptions - Judith Michael
Part I
Chapter 1
Sabrina Longworth stood at the window of the Quo Fu Antique Shop on Tian Jin Road and debated whether she should buy the fantastically carved jade chess set or the bronze dragon lamp. She could buy both, but she hadn’t even seen what was inside the shop. If she bought everything that took her fancy on a two-week trip through China, she’d go home a pauper.
When Stephanie arrived, she’d ask her what she thought. Maybe she’d buy the lamp for Stephanie. If, for once, Stephanie would let her buy her something.
From the shadows inside the dim shop, Mr. Su Guang watched the American lady, amazed at her beauty. Mr. Su, an artist and curator of antiques, had studied in America and had loved a fair-haired girl who took him to her bed and taught him to appreciate Western as well as Oriental beauty. But never had Mr. Su seen a lady as vividly beautiful as this one. Her deep auburn hair shone bronze and gold in the late afternoon sun and was held in a loose knot at the back of her neck by white enamel combs etched in gold. In the delicate oval of her face, her eyes were a dark midnight blue, wide-spaced, and her mouth was generous with the faintest downward curve at the corners giving it a vulnerable look. Watching her, Mr. Su wanted to offer his help. What man, he wondered, looking at that lovely mouth, whether laughing or weeping or in repose, would not feel the same way?
She was not tall, he saw, but she held herself like a queen, slender and graceful against the background of crowds of people walking and bicycling home, carrying live chickens or ducks for their dinner or pulling their purchases on makeshift carts. Occasionally the lady glanced at them, but mostly she studied his window display. And of all the objects there, she had fastened on the two finest. Mr. Su decided to invite her in and take from locked cases precious antiques he showed only to those who could appreciate them. Smiling in anticipation, he stepped forward. Then, abruptly, he stopped, his mouth open in astonishment at the vision in his window: the lady had become two.
In every way they were the same, even to the silk dresses that Mr. Su recognized came from a shop not far from his. But he had no more time to wonder, for in the next minute the two ladies entered his shop.
Inside the door they hesitated, waiting for their eyes to adjust from sunshine to the half-light of candles and kerosene lamps. Mr. Su stepped forward and bowed. Welcome. May I offer you tea?
The first lady, who had led the way inside, held out her hand. Mr. Su? I am Sabrina Longworth. I wrote to you about buying for Ambassadors, my antique gallery in London.
Lady Longworth! I have been expecting you. Yet now I find not one but two of you!
She laughed. My sister, Stephanie Andersen, from America.
America!
Mr. Su beamed. I studied in America, at the Art Institute of Chicago.
Mrs. Andersen looked at her sister. A small world,
she said, and turned to Mr. Su. My home is just north of Chicago, in the town of Evanston.
Ah! I have been there also, visiting the university. Come, come, let us have tea.
Mr. Su was excited by the luminous beauty of the ladies, brightening his shop as no candles could. Identical beauty, identical voices: low and soft, with a faint lilt he could not identify. How could one be from America and one from London when they both spoke with an accent vaguely European? They had been educated in Europe, Mr. Su decided, and, as he bustled about the tea table, he asked about their tour through China and the antique dealers’ groups sponsoring it. Lady Longworth,
he said, offering her a cup. She laughed and looked at her sister. Embarrassed, Mr. Su looked from one lady to the other. I have made a mistake.
He bowed. Mrs. Andersen. Forgive me.
She smiled. There’s nothing to forgive. Strangers often confuse us.
She looked again at her sister. The housewife from Evanston and the Lady from London.
Mr. Su did not understand, but he was relieved. They were not insulted. He resumed his chatter and, after they had drunk several cups of tea, he showed them his rarest treasures.
Lady Longworth, Mr. Su noted with approval, handled antiques with reverence and appraised them expertly. She was also, he discovered, an experienced bargainer. She knew intuitively when he had gone as far as he could within the price range set by the government, and she wasted no time in deciding to buy or to go on to the next piece.
Sabrina, look!
Mrs. Andersen was kneeling before Mr. Su’s collection of antique magic equipment. She turned the intricate pieces in her hands. I’ll buy one for Penny and Cliff. No, I’d better buy two, to keep peace in the house.
Working his abacus with swift fingers, Mr. Su added up Lady Longworth’s purchases, including the jade chess set and bronze lamp from the window, plus the cost of shipment to London. Then he took from his magic cabinet an ivory carving and held it out to Mrs. Andersen. With my compliments.
At her look of surprise, he said, You admired this but put it back when I told you the cost. Please accept it. You bought for your children; I would like you to have this for yourself.
She smiled with such delight that Mr. Su sighed for his lost youth. He bowed and held open the door as they thanked him, and he watched them until they disappeared around a corner in the narrow, twisting street.
How do we get back to the hotel?
Stephanie asked. She was carrying the bronze lamp, and Sabrina had the chess set, trusting neither to the shipping company.
I haven’t the faintest idea,
Sabrina said cheerfully. I thought I remembered how we got here, but these streets are worse than the maze at Treveston. That’ll teach us to escape our keepers and wander around Shanghai alone. We’ll have to ask someone.
Stephanie took from its box the carved ivory Mr. Su had given her. Did you see this?
Sabrina handed her the chess set and stood still to study the delicate piece. It was made up of dozens of tiny, fancifully carved figures, interlocked to form an openwork cube. One piece moved under her finger. It comes apart!
she exclaimed.
I’m afraid to try,
said Stephanie. I’d never get it together again. But isn’t it lovely? Ladies of the court, all intertwined.
Clever Mr. Su, telling us he thought the two of us together are like one person. Where do you think we are?
A bicyclist stopped beside them. May I help you?
he asked in careful English.
We’ve lost the Heping Hotel,
Sabrina said.
Lost? Ah, you have lost the way. It is indeed confusing. If you will follow me, I will lead you to NanJing Road East.
Does everyone in China speak English?
Stephanie asked.
We study in school,
he said casually, and rode ahead slowly as they followed.
You didn’t buy anything for Garth,
said Sabrina.
I probably will. I told you, I’m not feeling very generous toward him right now. Anyway, we have another week. Oh—!
What is it?
Only one more week. Such a little time. Before I left, two weeks seemed forever. Now I’ve gotten greedy. I wish . . . Sabrina, did you ever wish you could just disappear for awhile?
Lately I wish it about once a day. But usually what I want to get away from is me, and wherever I went, I’d still be me.
Yes, that’s what I meant. You always know what I mean.
The bicyclist turned a corner, looking around to make sure they were following. Maybe China is the farthest we can disappear,
Sabrina said.
Then perhaps I’ll stay,
said Stephanie lightly. And really disappear. For awhile at least. No more Stephanie Andersen. I’ll tell Mr. Su I’m Lady Longworth, staying on for a few weeks, and since you’re his best customer, he’ll be delighted to help me. That is, if you don’t mind my temporarily disappearing into your name and title.
Not at all, but if you’re going to be me, I’d appreciate it if you’d go back to London and solve my problems.
Only if you go to Evanston and solve mine.
They laughed. Wouldn’t that be a lark?
Sabrina said, and then the bicyclist turned again, pointing. NanJing Road East,
he said.
Before they could thank him, he was gone, blending into the hundreds of bicyclists, cars and pedestrians jamming the wide road. Stephanie walked slowly, staring with unseeing eyes at the shop windows. It would be a fairy tale,
she said. Living your wonderful life. The only problem would be fighting off your Brazilian millionaire.
Sabrina looked at her. I’d have to fight off your husband.
Oh, no; no, you wouldn’t. Garth mostly sleeps in the study. We haven’t made love in . . . a long time. You wouldn’t have any fighting to do at all.
They fell silent, passing the bookstore and walking on to the artificial-flowers store. Stephanie paused, gazing at the petals and leaves of colored paper and silk. Do you suppose we could get away with it? I’ll bet we could. Not for long, of course, but . . . we could do it.
Sabrina met her eyes in their reflected images overlaid with iridescent pink and red bouquets and nodded. Probably. For a few days.
She laughed. Remember, in Athens, when you—
We could look at ourselves from far away, from another life, and figure out what we want to do—well, I mean, I could figure out what I want; you always know exactly—
Not exactly, and you know it.
Well, then, we’d both have a chance to think about—
Ah, here you are!
Their guide, leading the tour group out of a nearby shop, began to scold them for wandering off on their own.
Let’s talk about it later,
Stephanie had time to say before they were swept up and taken back to the hotel for dinner and a four-hour acrobatic show.
But it was the next afternoon before they had a chance to talk. Stephanie wanted to window-shop on the rest of NanJing Road East. I keep thinking about it,
she said. Do you? Last night I was too tired to talk, but I thought about it, and this morning I haven’t been able to think about anything else.
I know.
Since the day before, the idea had clung to the edge of Sabrina’s thoughts. It’s one of those crazy ideas that won’t go away.
Not that crazy. Sabrina, I’m serious about it.
Sabrina looked at her. It wouldn’t solve anything—
How do we know? The main thing is that we’d get away from what we are now.
They were silent. Sabrina felt her blood quicken. Stephanie always knew what would strike home: to get away . . .
And we could do it,
Stephanie went on. We know so much about each other’s lives. We’ve talked about them and we think the same way—
They did. They both knew it; they always had.
Everything would be new, and we’d be able to think about ourselves in different ways. . . .
Her words tumbled out. You can’t do that when you’re in the middle of a life that has no time for thinking. And you’ve said so often you’d like a taste of my life, it’s so different from yours. . . . Listen, what do you have to do the first week you’re home?
Not much.
The idea had caught hold, and Sabrina’s thoughts flew ahead. I didn’t schedule anything in case I needed to recover from China. There’s nothing that really needs doing. Ambassadors could even stay closed for another week.
And there’s not much to do at my house, either,
Stephanie said eagerly. Penny and Cliff go their own way. You can call in sick at the office—Oriental dysentery or something. They all know about China; I had to get special permission to be gone for two weeks. Oh—but you’d have to cook for everybody at home.
Sabrina laughed. Her eyes were bright. I’m a good cook. How do you think I eat when Mrs. Thirkell is on vacation?
They don’t know what they’re eating, anyway,
Stephanie raced on. They’re always in such a hurry to be somewhere else. You’d really be alone most of the time.
They stopped at the paper-cuts store where intricate flowers, dragons, boats and hundreds of other folded creations were displayed. Sabrina could feel a familiar excitement building inside her, gathering itself, preparing to leap. She had felt it so often in the past, since she was a little girl: the pull of a challenge, the joy of a dare, the excitement of winning—gathering itself, preparing to leap. To be someone else . . .
she murmured.
To live another life,
Stephanie said. An adventure, Sabrina!
They smiled, remembering—twenty years ago, Sabrina thought. They were eleven, living in Athens. Their first great adventure.
They walked on. A week,
Stephanie said. Just one incredible week.
You might get greedy again,
Sabrina said lightly.
So might you.
A block from their hotel, in front of the Shanghai Cakes and Pastries Store, Nicholas Blackford bumped into them as he navigated with a stack of wrapped pastries. He smiled guiltily. It seems so difficult to diet away from home. I should have brought Amelia. You must scold me, Sabrina, as you used to when you worked in my shop and monitored my bad habits. Or am I speaking to Stephanie? Do you know, I am ashamed to say this, and I assure you it is no reflection on either of you, but Sabrina—Stephanie—I really cannot tell you apart.
Sabrina and Stephanie looked at each other behind the bald and bouncing figure of Nicholas Blackford. Strangers often confused them, but Nicholas had known Sabrina for ten years. Her eyes dancing, Sabrina swept a low curtsy to Stephanie. Lady Longworth,
she said in a clear voice. Welcome to Shanghai.
Stephanie stretched out her hand to help her up. Mrs. Andersen,
she said. How glad I am to be here.
Chapter 2
They were always moving. It seemed barely the blink of an eye from the time they settled in a house and arranged their furniture and hung up their clothes to the time when the servants would begin packing everything into cartons for the trip to a new city with a different language and a school full of strangers. It started when they were two years old in Washington, D.C., and from then on they moved every two years: Norway, Sweden, Portugal, Spain—and now they were moving again.
Not already!
Sabrina groaned when she came in from horseback riding and found her mother wrapping a fragile vase in a blanket. We just got here!
Two years ago,
said her mother. And Daddy and I told you last spring we’d be moving to Athens in August.
I don’t want to go to Athens,
Stephanie wailed, I like Madrid. I like my friends. And we were going to get the best sixth-grade teacher in the school!
You’ll make new friends in Athens,
her mother said calmly. The American school will have good teachers. And Athens is full of wonderful things.
Athens is full of ruins,
Sabrina grumbled.
Which we will explore,
said her mother, fitting the wrapped vase in a carton and stuffing crumpled newspapers around it. I’m sorry, girls, I know you don’t like it, but we don’t, either. It’s just something we have to—
Daddy likes it,
Sabrina said stubbornly. Every time we move he gets more puffed up and important.
That’s enough, Sabrina,
her mother said sharply. The two of you go upstairs and start sorting your clothes and books. You know how.
We’ve had enough practice,
Sabrina muttered to Stephanie as they went upstairs.
In fact, she was already beginning to be excited about Athens, but she couldn’t admit it because Stephanie was so miserable. Stephanie wanted to stay in one house and one school with one set of friends for years and years; she hated it when things kept changing around her.
But even if Sabrina was silent, Stephanie knew how she felt; they almost always knew what the other was thinking. I get excited by new things, too,
Stephanie said, throwing sweaters onto the bed. But wouldn’t it be wonderful to have a real home for awhile?
I don’t know,
Sabrina said honestly. Since we’ve never had one.
She didn’t think the rented houses had been so bad; Mother would walk in like a magician and make them beautiful and comfortable and soon they could hardly remember their old house. And that was exactly what happened when they moved to Athens in August. In a two-story white house that sparkled in the sun, with a garden and separate rooms for Sabrina and Stephanie, Mother filled the rooms with their furniture and rugs, putting everything in just the right places. Then, while their father went to the embassy to meet the staff and move into his new office, the three of them were driven in a limousine around Athens and its suburbs.
As they drove, the city crept through the windows of the car, making Sabrina quiver with anticipation. Everything was spread out, waiting to be discovered: strange smells and sights and sounds, new words to be learned and new songs to sing, folk tales to hear from the servants their mother would hire, new friends to trade stories with. She could hardly wait.
But Stephanie’s unhappiness kept her quiet and even made her excitement fade away. She drooped and picked at her dinner their first week in Athens, just as Stephanie did, until their father put down his fork with a clatter, saying, I have had enough of this. Laura, I thought you talked to them.
She nodded. I did, Gordon. Several times.
Evidently not enough.
He turned to face them.
We’re going to get a lecture,
Sabrina whispered to Stephanie.
I will explain this one more time,
Gordon began. Our State Department rotates members of the diplomatic service to a new post every two years. We do not question that policy. Do you understand?
It’s stupid,
Sabrina said. You’re always starting over and then you can’t do a good job.
I hardly think,
her father said dryly, that an eleven-year-old girl is in a position to pronounce the US State Department ‘stupid.’ Or to say that her father cannot do a good job. I’ve told you before that rotation prevents our getting personally involved in the affairs of other countries. Our first loyalty must always be to America.
He looked seriously at Sabrina and Stephanie. I might add that it is good for you, too. How else would you get to know so many countries?
You mean,
said Sabrina, as seriously as her father, it’s good for your career, so we’d better decide it’s good for us, too.
Sabrina!
Laura snapped, and held Sabrina’s eyes with her own until Sabrina looked away.
I’m sorry,
she said.
Laura picked up her wine glass. Tell us about your new school. You, too, Stephanie. No more pouting.
As Sabrina obediently described their math and science teachers and Stephanie listed the books they would read in literature and history, Laura watched them, frowning. They were becoming difficult to control. She was proud of them—her vibrant, spirited daughters, already beautiful and quickwitted—but too often they were also impudent and secretive, banding together in their struggle for independence. She had no idea what was the best way to handle them.
The problem was, she didn’t have time. Her time belonged to the diplomatic career of Gordon Hartwell. She had vowed silently at their wedding to push him and help him until he became an ambassador, perhaps even Secretary of State, and nothing in the years that followed had stopped her, not even the unplanned birth of twin girls.
She was Gordon’s partner, taking his place at meetings and receptions he was too busy or bored to attend; being at his side night after night at intimate dinners, banquets, tours for American senators, and entertaining American businessmen; and sitting with him in his study when he was thinking out loud to solve a problem.
He needed her. Once he had been poor and anonymous, a history professor in a small college in Maine. She had brought him her beauty and style, which added to his prestige, and also her wealth and sophistication, which eased him into the presence of the rich and powerful. Even now, when he had developed the smooth skills of a polished diplomat and had forged his own reputation as an expert on European cultural and political agreements, he needed her. They still had a long way to go, and he knew she would not let anything stop them.
Nothing ever stopped Laura when she made up her mind. She managed Gordon’s career, their nomadic life in Europe, their social life and her daughters’ upbringing. She concentrated on Gordon, but she made sure that competent servants cared for Sabrina and Stephanie and whenever possible took a few hours to guide their growing up herself.
From the first, she insisted they be brought up as separate individuals. Why should they be peas in a pod simply because they were identical twins? So their bedrooms were furnished in difierent styles, they dressed differently from each other and were given different presents to help them develop separate interests.
And once again Laura got what she wanted: her girls were different. She thought Sabrina was most like her, always eager to tackle the unknown, while Stephanie resembled Gordon: calmer and more cautious. Gordon saw that, too, and though he didn’t spend much time with them, when he did it was Stephanie who got most of his attention while Sabrina watched with dark, somber eyes.
But they were not quite as different as Laura liked to believe. Even she could not deny that their minds worked together, often in startling ways, and the instinctive bond between them was so strong she knew no one could break it unless they did it themselves.
But that made their restlessness even more difficult to handle: two adolescents, not one, pushing for independence.
Why can’t we explore the city by ourselves?
Sabrina asked. We’ve hardly seen any of it.
You’ve had those school field trips,
Laura said. She was brushing her hair at her dressing table and red glints flashed in the mirror.
Ugh.
Sabrina made a face. We’ve seen every statue and church between here and heaven, but in a whole year we haven’t met one real live person except at school—and they’re Americans! Just let us go for a little walk. Just around the embassy. We never get to do anything!
No,
Gordon said. He was adjusting his black tie at the triple mirror. They were going to dinner at the king’s palace.
Why not?
Sabrina wailed.
Sabrina,
Gordon said sharply. Keep your voice down.
Stephanie stood beside her father. Why not, Daddy?
Because there are dangers,
he said, ruffling her hair. For young girls, and especially for American girls whose father is a member of the embassy.
What kind of dangers?
asked Sabrina. Mother goes out alone; she’s a girl and she’s related to you. Is she in danger? Why can’t—?
Sabrina!
Gordon warned again. If I tell you there are dangers, you will trust my word. I can tolerate the refusal of the premier of Greece to take my word for something, but I will not tolerate it in my daughter.
But what can we do around here?
Sabrina ignored Stephanie’s cautioning hand on her arm. You go out and leave us stuck with the servants, you get to see Athens and meet people and have fun . . . Everybody gets to be with you but us!
Laura fastened jeweled combs in her hair. We do spend time together—
We don’t!
Sabrina burst out. Mostly it’s just when you’re showing us off to old people from America!
Before Laura could make an angry response, Stephanie drew her attention away.
Most of the time you’re with Daddy or doing your own shopping. And Daddy’s always working. Other families aren’t like that. They have weekends together and they eat together and have a real family.
The only family we have is us,
Sabrina finished. Stephanie and me—we’re our whole family!
Silence, both of you!
Filling his pipe, Gordon spoke to their reflections in the mirror. Some professions take the cooperation of a whole family. We work for our country. It would be selfish to think of ourselves first.
You think of getting promoted,
Sabrina flashed, and then shrank back from her father’s look.
You know nothing about what I think and you will not comment on it here or anywhere else. Is that clear?
Sabrina met her father’s look. If you talked to the Russians like you talk to us we’d have a war.
Laura stifled a laugh. Gordon flung down his tobacco pouch and Sabrina watched the shreds of tobacco fall like skinny worms all over the rug. Leave the room,
her father said.
Just a minute, Gordon.
Laura stood, tall and magnificent in black silk and long white strands of pearls. Sabrina hated her for being so beautiful and distant, and at the same time she wanted to crawl into her arms and be loved. But the only person who ever hugged her was Stephanie. Sabrina wondered if her parents ever hugged and kissed. Probably not. They’d wrinkle their beautiful clothes. But then her mother surprised her. The girls do need more attention,
she said. I’m going to take them on some of my shopping expeditions.
Oh—!
cried Stephanie.
But Gordon shook his head. I think not.
Laura sighed deeply. Gordon, I am doing the best I can. I know you don’t approve of the places I go, but I assure you they are simple working-class neighborhoods, not dens of terrorists. And I have to go there to find the best buys.
What terrorists?
Sabrina asked.
There are no terrorists,
said Gordon in exasperation, but he looked at his watch, and Sabrina knew that meant he had lost interest in them. Take them if you insist, but use the limousine.
Of course.
Laura fastened her silk cloak. Shall we go?
The shopping expeditions began the next day after school. Trailed by neighborhood children who called them the three beautiful American ladies, they hunted for antiques and works of art in shops, markets and private homes. Laura called it her hobby, but it had long since become her passion. She studied in libraries, talked with museum curators, attended auctions and watched furniture and art restorers at work. Over the years their rented houses became showplaces of her purchases: gleaming woods and mosaics, sculptures and paintings, leaded glass and finely woven fabrics. By the time she began taking Sabrina and Stephanie with her, Laura had become an expert appraiser and bargainer, supreme in her own world, where Gordon never came.
She also had become an advisor to friends and the international set that mingled socially with diplomats. They called on her so often that, had she not been Gordon Hartwell’s wife, she could have made a different life on her own. But she loved the glittering social life Gordon gave her, so she kept both her passions and taught them to her daughters.
Sabrina and Stephanie, eleven years old, for the first time became friends with their mother. They shared her private world; they spoke her private language. She poured out her knowledge and they absorbed it hungrily, as if it were love.
The three of them browsed in dingy shops where old people gossiped in corners and dust tickled their noses, and they visited homes where whole families gathered to show them rugs and paintings that had been theirs for generations. But best of all were the open-air markets, with row after row of stalls hung with rugs, baskets, tapestries, vases, even furniture, and standing in front of each someone shouting, Buy this! Buy here! Such a bargain!
Sabrina and Stephanie wanted to buy everything, but their mother ruthlessly separated the fake from the genuine, brushing aside protestations from vendors who expected Americans to be gullible. Laura was in control, absolutely confident, and Sabrina and Stephanie watched her with wide-eyed wonder: this was a different woman from the one they knew at home, where she was Gordon’s wife.
But those afternoons came only once or twice a week, and by spring Sabrina was chafing to see more of Athens, Let’s ask if today we can shop somewhere new,
she said as they climbed into the embassy limousine after school.
Theo, the chauffer, spoke to the rear-view mirror. No shopping today, Miss. Your mother told me to bring you to the embassy.
Oh, no!
Stephanie cried.
Sabrina struck her schoolbooks in frustration. Daddy probably wants to show us off again. Well, I won’t do it. I’m going to do my buck-teeth smile.
Stephanie brightened. And I’ll cross my eyes.
Grinning grotesquely, Sabrina hunched her right shoulder to her ear.
Eyes crossed, Stephanie stuck out her tongue and licked her chin.
They studied each other’s demonic poses and imagined their father, tall and proper, saying to solemn visitors, Meet my daughters,
and they collapsed on the back seat in a fit of giggles.
Damn, damn,
grumbled Theo, and they looked up; what did they do wrong? But he was cursing a traffic jam caused by an automobile accident ahead. We’ll be here an hour,
he said, throwing up his hands.
Sabrina and Stephanie looked at each other with the same wild, wonderful idea. Each of them reached out to a door handle and, without a word, pushed down, swung open the doors, slammed them shut and sped down the street, ducking around corners and pushing past shoppers. Theo, lumbering after them and shouting their names, was left far behind.
We did it, oh, we did it,
Sabrina sang. Now we can explore by ourselves.
The earth felt light and airy beneath her feet. Oh, Stephanie, isn’t it wonderful?
Wonderful,
echoed Stephanie.
Hand in hand, they strolled through shops and crowded squares, chewing on sticky baklava they bought from a street vendor, reading Greek signs aloud to practice their vocabulary and pausing at butchers’ stalls, where they listened in fascination to the gruesome sound of air whistling through sheeps’ lungs frying in oil. Finally Sabrina looked at her watch and sighed. Well, it’s been half an hour; we’d better get back before Theo gets unstuck.
But before they could turn, they heard shouts and a clatter of running feet, and Stephanie ducked as a stone struck the building near her head.
Terrorists!
Sabrina exclaimed. She looked around, grabbed Stephanie’s hand and pulled her down a flight of stairs to a heavy door that was partly open. They slipped inside, shutting it tightly behind them. The room was dark after the bright sun and it took them a minute to see three children huddled in a corner. When Sabrina came close, the baby began to cry. Oh, don’t,
Sabrina said. She turned to the oldest, a thin boy about their age with straight eyebrows and a shock of curly black hair, and said in Greek, Can we stay here a little while? Some men are fighting in the street.
The boy and his sister spoke rapidly in Greek and Sabrina and Stephanie looked at each other helplessly; it was too fast for them to follow. But they recognized the boy’s intent look as he stared at them; they had seen it many times. He smiled broadly, pointing at each of them. You are a mirror,
he said slowly in Greek, and they all laughed.
From the street above came loud crashes and men’s voices shouting to each other. An acrid smell drifted into the room. Sabrina and Stephanie twined their fingers tightly together. They were all silent, listening. The smell burned in their noses, and then they heard gunshots.
The boy moved, herding his sister and the baby to a cot and covering them with a blanket. He was scowling in an effort to look brave. When Stephanie whispered, What should we do?
he pointed to the door.
Sabrina became angry. You know we can’t go out there,
she said in Greek. The shouts were louder. Those are terrorists.
The boy looked at her defiantly. It is a war of independence.
Sabrina looked bewildered and he shrugged at her ignorance.
She ran to the high window and climbed on a box to look out, but the boy ran after her and pushed her away. She fell to the floor. Stephanie cried out, but Sabrina scrambled to her feet. He’s right. Somebody might have seen me. I just wanted to know what was making the smell.
Burning cars,
said the boy.
Burning—? Why would they burn cars?
To block the street.
He muttered, Stupid American girl.
How do you know we’re Americans?
Sabrina asked. The boy threw up his hands in despair, and then they heard banging on the doors up and down the street.
We’ve got to hide!
Stephanie said wildly. They mustn’t find us!
Where can we go?
Sabrina asked the boy urgently. Please, we shouldn’t be here. You could be in trouble if they find us. Is there another room?
He hesitated, then pointed under the cot. They pushed it aside with the little girls still on it and saw a trapdoor in the floor. The boy put his fingers in a notch on one side and pulled it up. Taking a deep breath, Sabrina slid through the opening, holding out a hand for Stephanie to follow. The door slammed in place above them and they heard the cot scrape the floor as the boy pushed it back.
It was so dark they could not see each other or what was around them. The air was damp, with a cloying odor. A cellar, Sabrina thought, but the ceiling was too low; they banged their heads when they tried to stand up. There was knocking on the door of the room above and they stayed still, crouching in the damp blackness. Stephanie’s fingernails dug into Sabrina’s hand. With her free hand Sabrina swept back and forth in the darkness for a place to sit. She felt the hard-packed dirt of the floor and then something like burlap. Burlap with lumps. A sack of potatoes. That was the rotting smell: they were in a vegetable cellar.
They sat together, arms around each other, heads touching. A few inches above them boots clumped back and forth, and rough voices asked rapid questions. Sabrina heard the word guns
and the boy’s No.
But then she heard drawers being pulled out and crashing to the floor.
Shudders ran through Stephanie’s body as she gasped for breath. Sabrina tightened her arm around her shoulders. Wait,
she breathed close to her ear. They’ll be gone soon. Hold on to me.
She closed her eyes; it was less scary than not being able to see anything.
My stomach hurts,
Stephanie whispered. Sabrina nodded. So did hers. The smell of rotting vegetables stuck inside her nose and she could taste it deep in her throat. It made her gag. She buried her nose against her jacket and took a deep breath. That helped. Above them the men were arguing. The baby began to cry. And in the blackness Sabrina felt something crawling up her leg.
She jerked back just as Stephanie felt it, too, and gave a little scream, trying to stand up. Sabrina pulled her down. Don’t,
she whispered. She thought the baby’s crying had covered Stephanie’s scream but she couldn’t be sure. She brushed Stephanie’s legs and her own. Spiders. One clung to her fingers and she crushed it against the dirt floor.
She was shaking all over. She’d tried so hard to be brave, but Stephanie’s fear had seeped into her. Now with each footstep above them she felt herself being dragged into the open. They’d be raped. They’d be killed or held for ransom. They’d be cut up in little pieces and sent back to their parents one piece at a time and Mother would cry. They had never seen their mother cry, and thinking about it made Sabrina start crying, as if the full terror of the afternoon only became real when she thought of her mother crying over them.
Then suddenly it was over. The boy said loudly, My father.
A man asked, Where?
and the boy answered, On Cyprus.
The men’s voices changed; one of them laughed and said, A patriot.
The footsteps moved out the door and up the steps to the street. The door closed. Only the thin wailing of the baby could be heard.
Sabrina was steadily brushing her legs and Stephanie’s, holding Stephanie tightly with her other arm and breathing into her jacket. In the sudden silence she had a new fear: What if the boy kept them there? He probably hated them for hiding while he faced the men alone. What if he put something heavy on the door so they couldn’t get out? She sprang up, hitting her head so hard it made her dizzy, but she pushed at the ceiling, trying to find the trapdoor. Where are you?
Stephanie whispered frantically, but Sabrina was desperately moving her hands back and forth on the ceiling. Something sharp jabbed her fingers, and just as she realized it was a nail in the trapdoor the boy opened it. She blinked in the light, limp with relief and shame. He was as young and afraid as they were; how could she have thought he would hurt them?
When the boy had pulled them up, Sabrina and Stephanie stared at each other. They were filthy, their skirts torn, their faces streaked with tears and dirt. Sabrina’s fingers were scraped and bloody, and when she moved a spider fell out of her hair. Seeing it, Stephanie violently ran her hands through her own hair. The boy was replacing the drawers the men had flung to the floor. On the cot, the little girl and the baby lay still, their eyes wide and blank.
Now that it was over, Sabrina became curious again. What did they want?
she asked.
Guns,
said the boy. They are Greek patriots fighting for independence in Cyprus.
Sabrina remembered something about it from school. Why are they fighting here?
To get rid of the Turks.
The boy spat out the word.
But are the Turks here?
No. In Cyprus. Fighting Greeks. My father is there. I should be with him, fighting the Turks.
Then who is in the street?
Sabrina demanded, stamping her foot in frustration.
Greeks and Turks and police,
the boy said, as if it were obvious.
Stephanie was feeling better. She knew Sabrina was ashamed because they had hidden, and she began to feel ashamed, too. Where is your mother?
she asked the boy.
Dead. My aunt was to be here, but she is late.
Dead! Oh, Sabrina, we should—
But Sabrina was looking at the boy intently. Would you really fight?
she asked.
If I had a gun,
he answered, I would kill.
Sabrina’s eyes were dark with wonder. What’s your name?
Dmitri Karras.
They stared at each other.
The room was quiet; outside, the noise had faded, leaving only the crackling flames of the burning cars. Sabrina,
Stephanie said. It’s late. Shouldn’t we go? And maybe—if their mother is dead—we could—
—take them with us,
Sabrina finished.
Dmitri drew himself up. I take care of my sisters.
Yes,
Sabrina said. But come for awhile. Come for dinner,
she added as graciously as her mother in the embassy reception room. Our chauffeur will bring you back whenever you want.
Dmitri could not take his eyes off her: so proud and beautiful. Like a queen. He hated her and he loved her. Okay,
he said at last.
And so it was that firemen arriving a few moments later came upon five children walking down the street—a Greek girl carrying a baby, and a Greek boy with eyes riveted on two identical American girls, scruffy with dirt but real beauties, their faces framed in auburn curls. The firemen took them to the police, who drove them to the address they gave, which the police knew was the American Embassy, and there was going to be hell to pay.
One of the policemen had telephoned ahead, and a crowd was waiting on the embassy porch. Laura flew down the walk to gather Sabrina and Stephanie to her, exclaiming in dismay at their torn, dirty clothes and the blood on Sabrina’s hands. Gordon followed, his face like stone. As he reached them flashbulbs exploded on all sides from the cameras of thirty reporters who, like everyone else, had thought Cypriots had kidnapped the twin daughters of the American chargé d’affaires.
Sabrina leaned against her mother in the wonderful warmth of her arms. Everything was all right. They were home. Then, remembering Dmitri, she looked around and caught a glimpse of him through the crowd of jostling reporters.
Wait!
she commanded loudly. She and Stephanie pulled away from Laura and went to Dmitri. These are our friends. They saved us. I’ve invited them to dinner.
Sabrina!
Her father’s voice lashed her. Not another word. You have done enough damage with your recklessness and impudence. How many times must I warn you—?
Sabrina stared, open-mouthed and stunned. They were home. Why was Daddy scolding her? He hadn’t even hugged them. She hurt all over and she was so tired and she had felt so safe when they saw the embassy and then Mother had held them . . . Why was Daddy making her feel so awful? Tears filled her eyes and spilled over. She tried to stop them, but they ran down her cheeks and she tasted them on her lips.
—a self-indulgence that shows you have no regard for my career. This time you have dragged your sister into it and these children, too, whoever they are. You are to go inside this instant; I will decide your punishment when—
That’s not Sabrina! You’ve mixed us up!
Through her tears Sabrina saw Stephanie hammering on Gordon’s arm. Stephanie was crying, too. That’s Stephanie, not Sabrina, you’ve mixed us up, you can’t blame her in front of everybody, she didn’t do anything and, anyway, we both had the idea, we got out of the car at the same time, Theo will tell you, and then the fighting started and we hid, and you can’t blame Sabrina—Stephanie—either of us, it’s not her fault!
The reporters moved in, taking pictures. Sir, if the young ladies—Sabrina? or Stephanie?—would tell us what happened—
Gordon, struck dumb, was looking from Sabrina to Stephanie and back again. Sabrina heard him mutter, How the hell am I supposed to—?
but Laura took over, stepping in front of him.
No interviews, please,
she said. The girls are exhausted from their ordeal, and not well.
She was not well herself, still gripped by the paralyzing fears and guilt she had felt all afternoon: she had never done enough for her children, and now they might be dead. But the clamoring reporters and the danger of a scandal touching Gordon aroused her to her duty, and she pushed her anguish down, out of sight. It would wait. Later, she would recover, in private.
Sabrina, Stephanie, take these children inside. Get some food and wait for me in your father’s office. Now!
she said, and they ran up the walk with lights flashing in their faces. Behind them, a recovered, suave Gordon promised the reporters a statement the next day.
But sensational stories appeared in the morning papers without Gordon’s official version, each one featuring large pictures of Sabrina and Stephanie with the Greek children. By then the girls were locked in their separate bedrooms, but a Greek maid brought the newspapers with their breakfasts and later, when Gordon and Laura were out, unlocked their doors. Sabrina danced into Stephanie’s bedroom, holding the paper. I’ve never had my picture in the newspaper before. On the front page, just like Mother and Daddy! And it says they found Dmitri’s aunt! Oh, Stephanie, isn’t it amazing, so many things happening at once?
Stephanie sat by the window. She was confused; everything seemed upside down. Daddy fired Theo,
she said.
Sabrina stopped in midnight. I know.
She sat in the window seat. That wasn’t fair. Daddy knows it wasn’t his fault. I wish he hadn’t fired him. But everything else is so exciting—
But what about the bad things?
Stephanie cried. Mother and Daddy are furious and the ambassador told Mother we’re uncontrollable and Americans aren’t supposed to get involved in street fighting—
We weren’t,
Sabrina interrupted.
And then it was our fault that Theo got fired and I feel bad.
So do I.
Sabrina looked out the window. The cuts on her fingertips hurt, and she pressed them against the cool glass. Everybody’s mad at everybody. We really made a mess. But, still, it was exciting, wasn’t it? All shivery and—oh, I don’t know—important. More real than school and books and movies. Dmitri cared about things so much. So did those men. It was an adventure, Stephanie!
"I know . . . and it was exciting—now that it’s over—"
Everybody at school will see it in the paper—
—and be so jealous—
I’ll bet they never had an adventure like that—
Even if they did, they’d be scared, not as brave as you.
I was scared, and you know it. Every time they walked above us—
But you were brave, too, Sabrina. You always are. I wish I was.
Don’t be silly, of course you are. You told Daddy you were me.
Oh, I had to do that, after I was such an awful coward in that cellar. At least now we’re both being punished, instead of just you.
Did you see Daddy’s face? Was he confused!
Mother knew.
She knows what clothes we wear.
But Daddy hardly ever looks at us.
They fell silent, thinking about their father.
Stephanie,
Sabrina said slowly. What if you couldn’t have adventures without bad things and good things both?
Would you want to give them up?
Oh, I don’t know. I suppose not. I just wish I had some way of knowing ahead of time—
But we don’t.
They watched a bird light on a tree branch near the window, so close they could see each feather. Sabrina loved to sit like this, next to Stephanie, comfortable and peaceful. Sometimes she wished she was as calm as Stephanie and didn’t talk back to her parents and teachers, or think danger was exciting. But she was so restless, and there were so many tantalizing things to try, that she couldn’t sit still for long. And, strangely, she thought Mother secretly liked her best that way. So sometimes she talked back or tried something risky in gymnastics (with teachers yelling at her not to, which made it even more fun) just so Mother or other people would admire her and love her.
But mostly she got excited about doing different things because there was so much to discover. What I think,
she said to Stephanie, who was sitting quietly, waiting for her to go on, is that I’d rather have some bad things happen than not have any adventures at all.
Stephanie thought about it. Well,
she said finally. It’s a good thing you’re here. Because if you weren’t, I probably wouldn’t have any adventures. Ever. And I wouldn’t like that, either.
* * *
Later that year, they read about the settlement of the war in Cyprus. Dmitri and his sisters had gone away with their aunt, and Sabrina and Stephanie devoured stories in Greek newspapers and magazines, hoping to find news of anyone named Karras. But there was nothing, and in the fall they moved to Paris without knowing what had happened to them.
Gordon Hartwell was appointed chargé d’affaires of the US Embassy in Paris in the summer of 1960, the year President Makarios took office on the independent island of Cyprus and John F. Kennedy was elected President of the United States. But whatever changes occurred in the world, life for Sabrina and Stephanie was the same as in Athens. Their rented house was in an enclave of Americans; they attended the American school; they shopped in the famous flea markets on the edge of Paris only with their mother, never alone.
But Laura knew that explosive pressures were building in Sabrina and when the girls were fourteen she let them go to social events for the sons and daughters of diplomats from other embassies. There were picnics and swimming parties, dances, tours of the wine country, excursions to soccer games, horse races, tennis and bicycle races and ski holidays. They made friends from a dozen countries, and their speech soon blended the accents and vocabulary of all of them. It was as if they had their own country, separate from the rest of the world.
But then, once again, everything changed. At dinner one winter night their parents told them the great news that Gordon had been nominated by the President, and confirmed by the Senate, as ambassador to Algeria. But, Laura added, there was a problem. Speaking quickly so the girls could not interrupt, she reminded them that Algeria had just won its independence from France and it was still unsettled, possibly even dangerous for foreigners. It was certainly no place for teenage American girls.
But there is a boarding school in Switzerland,
she went on, that we have looked into.
They had selected it from a dozen recommended schools. Juliette Institut International de Jeunes Filles was a high school of impeccable reputation. Under the amiable dictatorship of Professor L. E. Bossard, wealthy young women became cultured, superbly trained in sports and educated to the entrance standards of any French, American or English university. Its rules were strict, its students closely supervised. Professor Bossard would make sure that no scandal would attach to Juliette—or the parents of its girls.
Gordon would take up his new post in the spring, Laura told Sabrina and Stephanie. She would stay with them in Paris until the school year ended. Then Gordon would join them and they would drive to Switzerland to see the girls safely ensconced under Professor Bossard’s wing.
Sabrina looked somberly at her parents. This was what her mother had worked for all these years: Gordon as an ambassador. And now that she had succeeded, she was sending them away. It’s not Algeria,
she said. It’s because Daddy’s an ambassador and you’re sort of one, too, and you don’t want to worry about us maybe doing something embarrassing to such very important people.
Laura slapped her face. It was the only time she had ever hit her, and she was ashamed immediately afterward. Forgive me,
she said to Sabrina. But for you to talk to me that way—
She didn’t mean it,
Stephanie said quickly. It’s just that we don’t want to go away.
I meant it,
Sabrina said. And I do want to go away. I don’t want to be with people who don’t want me.
Laura’s eyes flashed, but she said smoothly and emotionally, Of course we want you; we’ll miss you both terribly. But we can’t turn down this appointment because of you. Algiers is a city still in turmoil, the schools are not—
It’s all right,
Sabrina said. I understand.
Her stomach was churning and she hated her mother, and her father, too—looking out the window as if he weren’t involved at all. It sounds like a wonderful school. We’ll have a wonderful time, won’t we, Stephanie? I guess we ought to practice our French some more; it is a French school, isn’t it? We ought to start now, I guess. Stephanie, do you want to come upstairs with me and begin to practice our French?
There was a long silence. The Hartwell family sat unmoving around the dinner table in the beautiful home that Laura had made for them in Paris. They were suspended on a breath of air, waiting to be carried in different directions.
Then Sabrina stood, followed by Stephanie, and the two of them went upstairs, to be together.
Chapter 3
At exactly 10:00 P.M., the mahogany doors of the grand ballroom in the Hotel Geneva swung open on a Venetian palace of papier-mâché and paint. Marbled columns supported a vaulted ceiling, and arched windows looked out on painted canals with gondolas and poling boatmen. The varnished ballroom floor was surrounded by a hundred round tables, each set with an orchid centerpiece and china and silver for four. As the doors opened the room became a kaleidoscope of four hundred young men and women in tuxedos and ball gowns crowding in for their graduation ball.
They came from ten select men’s and women’s schools on the shore of Lake Geneva, and they knew each other from years of chaperoned social events, trips to the great cities of Europe and sports competitions. Only that morning, they had competed in the annual Lake Geneva Sports Festival, their last chance before graduation to win trophies for their schools, their names etched impressively in brass or silver for victories in archery, sailing, fencing, swimming, horsemanship and soccer. From early morning until midafternoon, they struggled, hair slicked back, skin streaked with sweat and dust, muscles taut with the lust for victory. Now, polished and sophisticated, they mingled in the other kind of sports festival sponsored by their schools: finding a suitable partner for marriage.
Stephanie, in a froth of lemon yellow chiffon, her hair falling in heavy waves down her back, sat with Dena and Annie in the gilt armchairs at their table and watched for Sabrina to come in. She had to talk to her; so much had happened, so many new feelings danced inside her, and there was no one else she could share them with, not even her two closest friends.
It wasn’t that she needed Sabrina as much as she used to; they had made separate lives, with separate friends. In the beginning, when they arrived and drove up the hill from the shore of Lake Geneva, they had huddled together, watching the road climb through vineyards of honey-green leaves edged with red and then, at the crest of the hill, pass through an iron gate into a park and on to the square stone castle that was Institut Juliette. Stephanie was assigned a room on the fourth floor with Dena Cardozo, Sabrina on the