How My Ordinary Became Extraordinary
By Teri Benson
()
About this ebook
I thought I needed some excitement in my life. Rushing to the hospital for eighteen hours of open-heart surgery wasn’t what I had in mind.
How My Ordinary Became Extraordinary invites you inside my harrowing journey through one of the worst heart conditions possible. After waking up to find my life fractured by my condition, I fought to reassemble the pieces into a normal life. But when climbing the stairs felt like hiking Everest and brushing my teeth became an actual accomplishment, it didn’t take long to feel discouraged.
This is the true story of my recovery from an aortic dissection and the people and mindsets that pulled me through it. Whether you are standing atop your personal mountain or still scaling the cliffs, this book is for you.
Teri Benson
Teri Benson was born and raised in Logan, Utah. The middle child between two brothers, she grew up spending as much time outdoors as possible. Summer was for water skiing, swimming, and riding motorcycles in the foothills and mountains with her older brother, while winter was for skiing and more skiing. She moved to the Salt Lake area about thirty years ago. She has three amazing kids: Dallin, Jace, and McCall, who are the center of her life.
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How My Ordinary Became Extraordinary - Teri Benson
How My Ordinary
Became Extraordinary
By Teri Benson
Smashwords Edition
Copyright 2013 by Teri Benson
Smashwords Edition, License Notes
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only, and it may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
Table of Contents
Acknowledgments
Prologue
Chapter 1: Just a Little Chest Pain
Chapter 2: Aftermath
Chapter 3: Learning to Breathe
Chapter 4: First Steps
Chapter 5: Moving Forward
Chapter 6: Standing Solo
Chapter 7: Homeward Bound
Chapter 8: The Stairs
Chapter 9: Bed, Bath, and Body Irks
Chapter 10: Nightfall
Chapter 11: Perseverance
Chapter 12: The Small Stuff
Chapter 13: Physical Therapy
Chapter 14: Giving Thanks
Chapter 15: Parties and Prayers
Chapter 16: Progress
Chapter 17: Somebody to Lean On
Chapter 18: Zumbathon
Chapter 19: Victories
Chapter 20: Pressing On
Chapter 21: Christmas
Chapter 22: A New Year
Chapter 23: Reality Check
Chapter 24: From the Jaws of Defeat
Chapter 25: Opening Up
Chapter 26: Understanding
Chapter 27: Round Two
Chapter 28: Embracing the Extraordinary
Chapter 29: New Life
Chapter 30: Sunrise
Epilogue
Appendix A: Photos
Appendix B: Other Perspectives
About the Author
The dialogue and events in this book have been reconstructed from memory, and are not intended to represent a word-by-word portrayal of what happened.
Acknowledgments
On an ordinary day in October 2012, a small, seemingly insignificant chest pain changed my life forever. This book is the true story of my grueling recovery from an aortic dissection in my heart.
I am forever grateful for an amazing surgeon, Dr. Schorlemmer, and his team, who worked for over eighteen hours to save my life.
I thank my Father in Heaven for the healing power of prayer and for all of the miracles that took place to let me keep living. I can’t express how grateful I am for a rare second chance at life.
I want to express my love and gratitude to my amazing family and friends for being there for me during this very challenging recovery.
Thank you to Mike for believing in me and for making my dream for this book come true. And to Amy, thank you for all your patience and your amazing talent for helping me tell my story.
To Dallin, Jace, and McCall, you are so strong and truly amazing. I am so proud of you. I am so blessed to still be here and to be your mom. I love you guys sooooo much!
Prologue
Sunday Morning, October 28
When I woke from the dead, the first thing I heard was a beeping sound. At first I thought it might be an alarm clock, but then hums, whirs, and other noises joined in—sounds that didn’t belong in my bedroom. This wasn’t right. Where was I?
I opened my eyes to see a sterile-looking room, filled with strange equipment and computers, all of them making noise. I blinked as my brain tried to catch up with what was happening. Was I in a computer lab? How did I get here?
I realized I was lying in a bed, with miles of cords and IVs connecting me to the machinery like something out of a science fiction movie. I could feel something sticking out of my neck with a grip like a claw, but I didn’t know what it was. A handful of tubes ran down my torso into my stomach, disappearing under the blankets. Another tube stuck out of my nose. I felt detached from my body, but I knew something was terribly wrong. Nobody else was in the room. For whatever reason, I’d been left here. I couldn’t remember why.
I needed to go home. I needed to find answers.
But first I just needed to climb out of the bed. Okay, Teri, I told myself, you can do this. You just need to grab the handrail on the bed and pull yourself up.
I lifted my arm to reach for the rail.
Pain exploded across my arm as if someone had just smashed it with a sledgehammer. My arms shook, and I felt weaker than I’d ever felt in my life. I looked at my hands and saw that they were swollen so big that I could barely move my fingers. My mind raced. My heart pounded. What had happened to me?
I couldn’t stay here. I had to escape. I had to get away from this, whatever it was. I eyed the bed railing and decided on option two. If I rolled over and lifted my leg over the rail, then I could use it to push myself up. I brought my other arm across my body to grab the rail to help me roll onto my side. Pain washed over that arm, too, but I gritted my teeth. I could do this. I could do this…
The PAIN…UGH, the pain! Every part of me screamed for relief.
Closing my eyes, I made one last desperate grab for the rail. My puffy fingers closed around the metal bar. YES! Now I just needed to lift my leg up and over. My skin felt clammy and my entire body trembled with the effort. Almost there. Almost there.
Where are you trying to go?
cried a female voice. I looked up and saw a woman in scrubs rushing over to me. Her brown hair was pulled back and her badge said her name was Brooke. I recognized that she must be a nurse. That meant I was in a hospital. Why?
Tears welled up in my eyes as I lay there clutching the rail. I just need to go home,
I whispered. It hurt to get the words out. My mouth and throat felt dry and tender, like I hadn’t used them in days. How long had I been here?
You’re not going anywhere,
said Brooke as she lifted me back to a reclined position and adjusted the cords and tubes around the bed. You need to be here. You’ve been through a lot of trauma. You’re very sick. We’re here to help you, but you need to stay calm.
I felt so tired that I gave up and let her move me. My thoughts tried to break through the fuzzy feeling in my head and figure out what happened. A few flashes of memory came to mind—pain, a car ride to the hospital, a man in scrubs speaking to me, my daughter’s tear-filled face, more pain—but I couldn’t put the pieces together. The tears kept flowing as I started to drift off. Please just let me go home, I thought. Please just let this be a dream.
My eyes closed. The beeps and hums of the medical machines faded. A floating sensation slowly filled my whole body, and the pain evaporated, melting away into the air. Ohhh, yes. I remembered where I was before this—a place so beautiful that words couldn’t describe it. It was more like a feeling than an image, an overwhelming sense of joy and well-being. It felt like someone had turned love into a blanket and wrapped me up in it. I had been there, and I never wanted to leave.
I could see it all around me again now. I reached out to grasp it, but it slipped through my fingers.
I wanted to go back there. I wanted to stay there forever, in that world of light and endless sunrises.
Instead, I fell asleep. I woke later to a world of nightmares.
Chapter 1: Just a Little Chest Pain
Five days earlier
Tuesday, October 23
Beeping filled the room, pulling me out of sleep. Noooo…
I groaned, slapping at the alarm clock. The red lights displayed six thirty, the start of another day, but I felt like I’d only had an hour or two of rest. I finally slammed my hand down on the snooze button and silenced the horrible noise.
Ten minutes later, I hit the button again.
Another ten minutes, another snooze.
After half an hour went by, I decided I really should get up. The thought of going to work made me groan and bury my head under the blanket. So much paperwork. So much mediocrity. So much ordinariness.
I need to make a change,
I said to myself. Find a new job or something.
I needed something to revitalize my life. I needed to do something new, something challenging and unexpected.
I glanced at the clock and groaned again. First I just needed to get out of bed and take care of my responsibilities. Revolutionizing life would have to wait until later. Maybe next week.
After I forced myself through my morning routine and made it to the office, the day crawled by like any other. I sat at my desk, doing whatever I could to keep busy, and watched the clock. I closed out a few files that had been paid in full and prepared bills of sale to send to clients. I talked with coworkers. I ate lunch. I did more work. I made it through.
When five o’clock finally arrived, I decided to stop at the gym on my way home and run on the treadmill. I considered skipping the exercise for one day, but the routine was good for me, and I knew I’d feel better if I followed through. Discipline, Teri, discipline.
I decided to run four miles of sprint intervals rather than my full workout. As I fell into the rhythm of my running, allowing my thoughts to focus only on my movement, I felt some of the stress of the day melt away. Those few minutes of quiet solitude, just me and the treadmill, always gave me an energy boost and helped calm my mind.
It was hard to believe that one year ago I was just starting this regimen, and now I was in the best shape of my life—such a big change over such a short period of time. It was a difficult period of time, definitely. Maintaining a workout schedule is never easy. But seeing the results made it more than worthwhile. I may have felt stagnant in other areas of life, but at least I had my health.
That evening as I was getting ready for bed, a small, stinging pain erupted right in the middle of my chest, about the size of a fifty-cent piece. I reached to touch it, wondering what it could be. Some kind of heartburn? What did I eat earlier? Nothing spicy—maybe it was just indigestion? It was uncomfortable, but I decided it would probably pass. I needed to sleep if I wanted to be awake at work the next day.
After lying in bed for several minutes with the pain not subsiding, I started to feel a little irritated. It was late, I was exhausted, and I could see the clock numbers ticking away the time I had left before I needed to be up again. Yet the pain wouldn’t go away, and my worries grew.
Frustrated, I grabbed my iPad and searched for stinging pain in chest.
Nothing specific came up, but I found plenty of recommendations to see your doctor for any kind of chest problem.
By this point, it was one thirty in the morning, so seeing my regular doctor was out. I thought about other possibilities, but decided I was making a big deal out of nothing. This was ridiculous, I thought. I lay back down and shut my eyes, determined not to let the pain keep me from resting.
Get up.
My eyes opened. What was that?
Get up, go put on your sweats, and have McCall take you to the ER.
My heart started racing. I knew that voice. It was the voice of my dad, who had passed away ten years earlier. I didn’t know if I was actually hearing him speak or if it was just in my mind, but the stern tone told me I needed to obey.
I went to find McCall, my nineteen-year-old daughter and youngest child. She was still awake (teenagers…) and I asked her to drive me to the ER. She wasted no time in getting up and getting dressed while I waited for her downstairs.
While I was waiting, my middle child, Jace, came to see what was going on. What’s up, Mom?
he asked, blinking sleep out of his blue eyes.
I blushed. It all felt silly when I had to say it out loud. I have this stupid little stinging pain in my chest, and I just want to get it checked. I’m having McCall run me over to the ER.
His forehead creased with worry. Should I come with you guys?
No, it’s no big deal,
I said. We’ll be back in an hour or two. Just go back to bed.
He nodded and returned to his room just as McCall came bounding down the stairs, her long blonde hair tied back and a sweatshirt hiding her slight frame. All set,
she said. Let’s go.
The drive to the ER only took about ten minutes. The waiting room was empty as we walked in. Apparently it was a slow night for emergencies.
How can I help you?
asked the nurse at the desk.
I told her I had a small pain in my chest, and while it was probably nothing, I just wanted to be sure. I know it’s not a heart attack,
I said. I had one of those three and a half years ago, and this feels nothing like it.
She nodded. Follow me, please.
She took us into a room and checked my blood pressure, which was normal. Then she had me change into a hospital gown. I reluctantly stripped down, wondering if maybe I shouldn’t have bothered coming in. This was an awful lot of fuss for a minor chest pain. I refused to put on the hospital non-skid socks. They looked silly. McCall tied up the back of the gown, and I seated myself on the bed. McCall began folding up my clothes and sticking them in the bag left by the nurse.
I laughed. McCall, you don’t need to put my clothes away. We’re not going to be here that long.
She shrugged. I already put them in there. You can get them out again later.
A moment later the doctor came in and listened to my heartbeat. Do you have a heart murmur?
he asked with an unreadable expression.
No.
He kept moving the stethoscope around my chest and back, still giving no indication of his thoughts. I want you to have your blood work done,
he finally said.
Uh…okay.
A nurse came in and drew four vials from my arm, then left with the doctor. McCall and I sat and waited. The stinging grew worse. We waited some more. McCall started to become frustrated, and I could tell she was tired. So was I. Maybe this was a mistake. I just wanted to go back to bed.
He finally came back in. Your blood work looks fine. No enzymes peaking, blood markers look good.
Yay! That meant I could leave.
He paused. I want to get a quick CT scan, though, just to make sure.
The nurse came back with a wheelchair to take me for the scan. She looked at my attire and said, I need you to put on the socks.
I gave in, now thinking about something that I found even more unnecessary. I really don’t need a wheelchair. I can walk. Especially with these safety socks.
McCall rolled her eyes. Mom, just get in the wheelchair so we can go home.
I sighed and complied, feeling ridiculous as the nurse wheeled me to the CT room. Really, this was all so much overkill.
However, laying there and listening to the machine whirr and hum as it analyzed me, I started to feel the first flickers of fear. What if they found a problem? What would that mean? I blinked to clear my eyes. I would not cry.
This was ridiculous. Nothing was wrong. And if there was, it couldn’t be anything that bad. Maybe just a minor complication from my previous heart attack. Nothing I couldn’t handle.
I waited in the room with McCall while the doctor looked over the results. When he came back in, his face had a serious expression. He explained some medical jargon that I didn’t quite understand, but his last sentence caught my attention fully. An ambulance is on its way here,
he said. It’s going to transport you to St. Mark’s Hospital. You need to have open heart surgery tonight.
Wait.
What?
Open heart surgery?
Did he just say open heart surgery?
WHAT?
They’re going to cut my chest open? Why?
What does this mean?
No, this can’t be right.
You’re really going to cut my chest open?
No. No. Why could I possibly need this?
As panicked thoughts raced through my head, I tried to force myself to stay calm. I looked at McCall and swallowed. Well…this can’t be good.
Neither of us laughed, and the tension in the room thickened.
They started an IV in both of my arms and put some sort of oxygen thing on my finger. There was a red light on it, and I tried to concentrate on that instead of the fear I was feeling. It reminded me of science fiction movies, so I made another attempt to lighten the mood. I raised my finger and showed it to McCall. ET phone home.
She laughed, and it broke some of the anxiety we were both feeling. Do that again. I need to video it.
So I did, and we both laughed together. I felt a little calmer. I would be fine. Everything was going to be all right.
After that, my memory went blank.
***
A glimpse of my nephew Ethan leaning up against the wall.
What was he doing here?
Blank spots.
People in scrubs, their heads covered with hats and masks, looking down at me. One of them was my friend’s daughter-in-law. I made the bridal jewelry for her wedding. I recognized her beautiful brown eyes.
I know you.
More blank spots.
A place of unimaginable beauty.
Familiar faces…but who were they?
Where was I?
Why couldn’t I touch the ground?
So warm and peaceful. Love surrounding me.
Amazing, brilliant colors.
Indescribable beauty rushing by me.
The most exquisite flowers I’d ever seen.
I had never felt like this before.
I knew I was in the presence of something very powerful.
Can I stay here forever?
I reached for them, stretching as far as possible.
Something pulled me back.
Pain.
Unbelievable pain.
Darkness.
Chapter 2: Aftermath
Sunday, October 28
The next thing I saw was McCall’s face.
When she noticed my eyes open, she lit up with joy. Mom? Mom! You’re okay!
What’s happening?
You’ve had heart surgery, Mom.
WHAT?
Where was I?
Why couldn’t I move?
What happened?
I took a look around. Tubes, monitors, and IVs filled the room and the bed. My two sons, Dallin and Jace, stood near McCall and my mom. My brothers, Wayne and David, were near the door. Everyone looked both terrified and relieved.
Why were they here? Why was I here? Everything seemed like a messy blur.
One feeling broke through all the chaos—my throat burned with a desperate thirst. The roof of my mouth felt like sand. Before anything else could be sorted out, I knew I needed something to drink. I’m thirsty,
I said, expecting one of my kids to help me.
No one moved, so I couldn’t tell if I’d gotten the words out. Hello? I need water.
McCall spoke softly. You can’t have any water yet.
What? Why not? I was dying of thirst! My thoughts jumbled together. How did I get here? Why wouldn’t they let me drink anything? Were they trying to kill me? I needed to get out of there. I had no idea what was going on, but I knew I needed some water or I was going to die.
Please get me water. Please, please get me water.
David stepped closer to the bed. We want to give you a blessing.
The movement scared me, and I tried to shrink away. Don't touch me! You’re trying to kill me.
I licked my dry, cracked lips. Get me some water or just let me die.
Teri, we just want to give you a blessing,
said David.
No. You can give me a blessing if you get me water.
The nurse said you can’t have water yet.
I don’t care. I need it.
He kept talking, but I didn’t listen. Instead, I fought with my unrelenting thirst and tried to remember what had happened and why my family was now torturing me. The last thing I remembered was taking McCall to the ER. But if that was true, why was I the one hooked up to all of the machines?
I tried to move again, and pain set my entire chest on fire. I groaned under the onslaught. What was causing that? What had happened to me? What was going on? My vision started swimming with dark