To Fly Again: Surviving the Tailspins of Life
By Gracia Burnham and Dean Merrill
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To Fly Again - Gracia Burnham
Preface
Ross Perot has helped many who find themselves in need. Having followed news of the Burnhams’ captivity and Gracia’s return to America, Ross Perot stepped in to offer Gracia and her children help and support. The Burnhams view him as one of their heroes.
* *
Missionaries Martin and Gracia Burnham dedicated their lives to helping others. For over fifteen years, they lived and served among the poor on the Philippine islands of Luzon and Mindanao. But their work was interrupted in May 2001 when they were captured and held hostage for over a year by members of the Abu Sayyaf terrorist group.
The U.S. government worked diligently to rescue the Burnhams, finally sending a military team into the jungle to advise Philippine government troops. On June 7, 2002, after a year of pursuit, Philippine soldiers surprised the kidnappers and launched a rescue attempt. Gracia was rescued but Martin was killed in a gun battle between the kidnappers and the soldiers.
During their hostage ordeal, the Burnhams lived by these words:
GREATER LOVE HATH NO MAN THAN THIS, THAT A MAN LAY DOWN HIS LIFE FOR HIS FRIENDS.
Throughout their missionary careers, they had been inspired by these words from Isaiah:
WHO WILL GO? SEND ME.
As you read this book, you too will be inspired to serve others, even during difficult times.
Ross Perot
Introduction
There’s something slightly odd about me writing a book on handling upheaval in your life—when my life still isn’t all that well put together. Whenever I go out to speak these days, I cringe when people come up afterward and gush, I admire you so much! You are such a special person!
I want to look behind me and see whom they could possibly be talking about.
One day after I’d gotten all dressed up for a speaking engagement—you know, heels and everything—I headed to the van and reached for the door handle. Peering inside . . . I thought a bomb had gone off. Trash was everywhere. I decided it wouldn’t do for Mrs. Featured Speaker to show up in such a messy vehicle.
I grabbed a box from the garage and began throwing stuff into it: empty McDonald’s cups, a plate and fork with dried food on it, one of the kids’ change of clothes, even some crayons (my kids are long past the crayon age—what were those doing in there?!). I would have used the minivac on the floor to get the rest of the dirt only I knew I couldn’t find it in the messy garage, and I was out of time anyway.
So I just drove away and made it to the church on time, where I was greeted with warm words of admiration. If they only knew.
But here and there along the way over the past year or two, I’ve gleaned some fresh understanding of what’s really important in life, and what is secondary. I’ve had time to reflect on the meaning of my jungle ordeal, and how it applies to the stresses other people are going through. God has been teaching me some perspectives that perhaps make this book worthwhile after all.
A lot of his teaching seems to come while I’m driving—which can be dangerous. It’s about the only time I can sit still and concentrate for an extended period. I often have to pull over into a parking lot or a gas station to write for a while.
Sometimes when I get home and look at the notes I’ve scribbled, they make no sense. But other times, they spark more ideas, and some are included in this book.
One night, my oldest son, Jeff, simply had to get to an auto repair shop before it closed. I had just arrived home and was getting a bowl of chili for myself.
Can I just eat this chili first?
I asked him.
No, no, Mom—we gotta go!
he urged. You follow me, so you can bring me back after I drop my car off.
I trudged out to the van and began following him down the road, chili bowl in one hand. All of a sudden, I had this great thought for the book!
In that moment, I realized something. Gracia, you cannot keep following Jeff while eating a bowl of chili and recording your thoughts at the same time. You’re just going to have to let the thought go.
So that’s what happened. I never got to write down my brainstorm, and it’s lost forever. The world will never know how brilliant it was!
But other thoughts have been captured. As you read this book, I hope you don’t think I’m preaching at you, or that I have it all together. I’ll be the first to tell you that I don’t. And my kids would second that. I’m just a person with a unique story whom the Lord has graced over and over again.
God knows all about the crosswinds that batter our lives—yours and mine—tossing us, like a fragile aircraft, into a tailspin. He calmly guides our shaky hands on the stick, showing us how to level out again and keep flying safely. We won’t crash after all.
I started this book with fear and trembling. As I wrote, it helped me. Maybe it will help you, too.
1
Unfinished Lists
I found an old list of mine the other day—the unfinished one I left on the little desk beside the kitchen counter of our home in the Philippines when I left that fateful day to meet my husband in Manila. I expected to whisk Martin away for an anniversary weekend by the sea and return home a few days later. As the world now knows, we never got back to that home. We spent the next year in the ruthless hands of the Abu Sayyaf, a Muslim terrorist group that demanded one million dollars for our release. Martin, my husband, came back to America in a casket. I returned in a wheelchair with a bullet hole through my right leg.
Months later, a dear couple who had come to Martin’s funeral kindly volunteered to pack up our belongings in that home in Aritao and ship them to me. When the truck rolled up to our house in Rose Hill, Kansas, where I had begun rebuilding my life with our three growing children, I watched the crates come off the back. Eventually, amid clothes and files and Martin’s tools and beloved photos of happy days, I came across my steno pad. The list from May 2001 said:
Do end-of-month bookkeeping.
Move furniture in the guesthouse.
Move our mattresses back here. (We had loaned some of our bedding to the mission guesthouse, which was having a large crowd just then.)
Service the radio battery.
Order name tags for Jeff’s clothing. (Our son needed them for boarding school.)
Fix up the computer table in the library.
Mike Fulford says SIL/Wycliffe owes us 191 gallons of avgas. Resolve this. (Avgas is fuel for airplanes.)
Do next week’s menu.
Put Martin’s toolbox away.
Pay the helpers.
How busy I was! How productive! I was a take-charge, get-it-done missionary wife and mom. Of the many small joys in life, few compared with the quiet pleasure of marking something off my to-do list. The fact that eight or ten or a dozen other items still awaited my attention did not diminish the reward of telling myself, Well, at least I got that one done.
I heard about one man who, in making his lists, would add a few tasks he had already taken care of—just so when he got to the end of the paper, he could go back and strike them out again. Psychologically, it felt good to tell himself he had already accomplished a few things. Now the rest of the list did not seem so daunting.
Lists supervise our lives, it seems, whether jotted in Day-Timers, on yellow stickees, on pastel notepads made especially for the purpose, on the back of grocery store checkout tapes—or only on the front wall of our minds. A mother’s work is never done, says the old proverb. And instinctively we know, whether we are parents or not, that if we don’t itemize the specific tasks somewhere, the work will get totally out of hand. That was why I tried to keep my steno pad close at hand: I wanted to stay on top of everything.
And then—in a moment of time—everything changed. I became a hostage who had lost all control of my life, my schedule, and my future. I could only sit on the ground and stare at the jungle, wondering what would come next. Did the unfinished items on that list back in the kitchen ever get done? I had no way to find out. In fact, to this day I still don’t know. My world had forever shifted.
* *
Since my return to the States, I’ve met many other people whose world has been rocked unexpectedly. I spoke not long ago to a support group of cancer victims, survivors, and caregivers. The invitation had come for a date just a few weeks before Christmas, and I wasn’t sure I should accept in light of preholiday busyness. But in the end, I said yes and afterward was glad I did.
I arrived that morning to find some two hundred people gathered in an upstairs hall. As I waited in the front row, an attractive young woman came up to me. She introduced herself and pointed out her husband, whose hair was now gone because of chemotherapy. You know, this has been a really tough time for us,
she said. We have three little kids. But the Lord has been faithful to help us so far. We’re looking forward to your message of hope.
I took her hand and told her I appreciated her making the effort to come. Soon it was time for me to stand up and begin my talk.
As you know, I stand before you today as a survivor of sorts,
I began. My battle was not against cancer, of course, but against the schemes of a group of killers in the Philippine jungle.
I went on to recount how it all broke loose for Martin and me: the trip to the Dos Palmas Resort, the romantic evening, the sudden banging on the door early the next morning, the scramble for my clothes, the gun barrel in my back as I was prodded down the catwalk to the waiting speedboat, the boat’s escape onto open water, and my whisper to Martin just then: We are in big trouble.
I paused and looked across the room of somber faces. In that one moment, I lost all control of my life. I would be told from that point onward where to sleep, how to dress, what to eat (if at all), even where to go to the bathroom. If I didn’t like the options, which I often didn’t, that was just too bad. My existence was out of my hands.
The audience quickly began to identify with my predicament, it seemed. They, too, had been going along living a normal life, or so they thought, until the fateful day in a doctor’s office somewhere when the person in a white coat said, "Your lab results came back, and I’m