The 52: Discover the True You in 52 Simple Lessons
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The 52 - Deanne Mincer
walking...
Lesson 1
LOVING YOURSELF
Here we go! This is a lesson on love, my favorite topic. Try this: say to yourself, I love myself completely NOW.
Say it on the hour. Say it before sleep and on rising. Say it when the phone rings or the dog barks. Say it when someone says something upsetting or when you do something you wish you hadn’t. Find a cue to remember those words. Write it down and put it on a sticky note where you can see it. No one else needs to see it. Say it even if you are saying it by rote. Even if you find it hard to believe. Just keep saying it–like a mantra.
This lesson on love is one of the most popular topics in my classes. I always tell my students about one of my best friends, a kindred spiritual sister and artist, who told me this story:
She was teaching a special children’s art class at the ashram (a spiritual monastery) where she lived. Her guru (spiritual teacher) requested that she take on this task of teaching the children. As the class ended and the children’s parents arrived, it was my friend’s responsibility to inform them of what had been taught in the class. When she began to speak to them, only gobbledygook came out of her mouth. Try as she might, she could make no sense. They stared at her in amazement. She grew embarrassed and then felt like a fool. To make matters worse, she felt that she had disappointed everyone, especially her guru. After everyone left she sat in meditation, looking, praying to know why this humiliation had happened and what to do about it. Then the answer came! She was given explicit directions. She was told to take out a sheet of paper and write and say, I love myself completely now,
over and over again until she knew it to be true. Until the pain and humiliation subsided and until she remembered that there was NEVER a reason to do anything but love herself completely.
Everything happens with purpose.
Now, you can do this. Even when you are ashamed or lost or fearful. Let the words sink into your heart. The love will move through you and around you. You will call forth potent powers of love to surround you. But you must say it, silently or out loud, all week long.
In Believe in Love, Swami Gurumayi Chidvilasananda said:
The great devotional scriptures of India teach us that to cultivate and purify our experience of love is a sadhana, a genuine spiritual path. On this path, the means is love and the goal, again, is love.
I love myself completely NOW! Say it and see what happens. When you KNOW that it is true and nothing will ever change this, a spark of light will be ignited within you. The Light of Divine Love.
Lesson 2
HOW CALM AND RELAXED ARE YOU RIGHT NOW?
The body is the temple of the spirit.
—Amrit Dasai
It’s time to scan your body. That’s right. It’s the body that seems to contain your Eternal and Divine Spirit. Just how light, happy, and full of love can you be if your body is tight with anxiety, like a twisted knot? It is important to take every part of our being into account on this joyous ride of Love. We don’t overlook any aspect of ourselves, including our physical presence.
LOVING AND NURTURING YOUR BODY
This is the focus of Lesson Two—getting to know when and how your body reacts to stress. Tense muscles. Tight jaw line. Scrunched shoulders. The back held in a noose. Do you recognize these stress symptoms? Some bodies choose to display stress in one or two or all of these ways at once. Then most of us walk around all day long, unconscious and never noticing. But, once you know, you can start eliminating the body’s reaction to stress and negativity. You can have a new dialogue with your body, while being compassionate and kind all the while. You can learn to love your body as another expression of your being.
Here is what to do: talk soothingly to your body, reassuring it and sending it love. Go ahead, shoulders, take a little break. Soften up,
you might say, or There you go, you tense back, how about a little rest right now? Stretch out. Doesn’t that feel good?
It’s your body, after all. You can have a friendly chat with it. You might not want to do it out loud if you are in a public place, but then people will maybe just think you are talking on your cell phone. Or that you are a little odd. No matter!
I used to work in a place that was vibrating with tension. Executive decisions were made, and then rescinded all the time. It was the land of the ten-minute decision—in ten minutes there would be another, conflicting decision. The stress was palpable and everyone worked in close contact, seated in the same area. The only retreat was a bathroom stall. I would go in there and stand for a minute or two and imagine a flow of soothing warm water pouring over my body, washing away tension. I imagined the stress dripping off of my fingers and pooling at my feet, then flowing away. It worked, even in a bathroom stall. If it could happen there, it could happen anywhere. But that was then. Now I don’t need to go anywhere; I can do the scan and the imagery where ever I might be. You can too, once you are used to the idea.
Remember your body reacts to what you think about it and say to it. It knows when you are sending it nurturing and love. You can love ALL parts of your being at once. Try some of these ideas:
• Honestly scan your body and be aware of tightness and stress. Consciously give it permission to let it go.
• Repeat this scan often throughout the day and even at night in bed, if you are awake enough to notice.
• You will see that your body reacts to these changes. Each time it will be easier to calm the body.
• Think of any parts of your body that have been problematic or are sensitive to negative thoughts. You may not like certain parts of your body or the way the body looks. Actively send kindness and love to these places in particular.
• Imagine Love and Light massaging and filling those parts of your body. Perhaps inhaling Love and Light and then exhaling away judgment, pain, and anything negative lodged in those spots.
• Take a class in deep rest and meditation. I teach Yoga Nidra (sleeping meditation), and it works so well at deflating stress, and can also take you to a level of consciousness where you surpass the body and only Love exists. Divine Love: A Unique Yoga Nidra Experience,
made in concert with Sacred Acoustics, is now available as a CD. It is designed to bring deep calm and elevated consciousness.
• See your body, from which you will surely part one day, as another expression of Divine Consciousness, of God. Treat it with tenderness and respect while you have it.
• Say these words over and over until they ring in your mind—I love my body and myself completely NOW.
I am honored to join you in learning to love yourself more. It is the true purpose in living.
Lesson 3
WHAT’S THE USE OF WORRYING?
Do you think that worrying is a modern-day problem? Here is what Ovid, born in 43 B.C. and a Roman poet, had to say:
"Happy is the man who has broken
the chains which hurt the mind,
and has given up worrying once and for all."
Can you imagine giving up worrying once and for all? Especially now, in a world where we seem to dwell on subjects like these: the undulating economy; terrorism and shootings; countries at war. Will we have enough money to put our children through college? Enough money to support us into old age? Enough money to buy food for tomorrow? What is our future? Can we find a job? Is the planet over heating? Why am I so depressed? On and on, more and more...
STOP! Has your worrying level gone up just by reading these questions? STOP! Put them in the box or slot them into worry time. Worrying about all this is useless, non-productive and dangerous. STOP NOW!
LET GO OF WORRYING
I like what William James, the psychologist/philosopher, had to say about worrying:
If you believe that feeling bad or worrying long enough will change a past or future event, then you are residing on another planet with a different reality system.
I think, at least for now, we all seem to be on the same planet. The facts are in—worrying is wasted. It is time to break the habit! While loving yourself completely NOW and calming your body, you take the next step and stop worrying. Let it go. Give it up. Trust in Supreme Consciousness. All this worrying stuff is out there in another realm some of us call maya (illusion). But more on that later. Right now we are just being practical.
There is a song from World War I titled, Pack up Your Troubles in an Old Kitbag and Smile, Smile, Smile.
It goes on to ask us what’s the use of worrying?
and advises that it never was worthwhile.
You may think these lines are simplistic, but they fall on the truth. You CAN pack up your troubles and learn to place them in a healthier context. And smile, smile, smile.
Here’s an idea I got from a friend and wonderful meditation teacher. Put one of those stretchy bracelets on your arm. Whenever you have a worry thought, switch it to the other arm. Or take some object, place it on your left then move it to your right whenever a worry erupts. You will quickly become aware of how often you worry. You might be moving it back and forth all day long. Count this as a bonus. At least you will know what you are thinking. In fact, you can try this with any number of thought patterns. First you have to be made aware of your worrying habits.
Here are some suggestions you might try:
• Become aware of your worry patterns. Use the idea just suggested or just mentally note whenever you have a worry thought. Don’t be harsh with your self. This is not a reason to feel guilt. You are simply observing and learning.
• Put your worries in your worry box.
Each time you note a worry thought, rather than immediately obsess about it and create anxiety, write it down on a piece of paper and put it, literally, in a box. Then, when you are ready to address your worries, pull it out along with the others you have accumulated, and go ahead, worry. Limit the time you give to this. Worry away!
• Schedule a specific worry time.
Take your worries, as they arise, and note them in your mind, but do not spend any time on them. Then, at your chosen time— maybe on the hour of the clock and for two minutes— go ahead and worry like crazy. With wild abandon, worry. When the timer
goes off, put them away again. Or choose one or two times a day when you will worry. Keep it contained so worrying is not running amuck throughout your day.
• Honestly evaluate what the worrying has done for you and to you. It won’t take long before you realize that it is wasted effort.
• Do not mistake worrying for problem solving. They are two different things. One has a concrete outcome, the other does not.
• Throughout this process, remember that you can always return to your affirmation, I love myself completely NOW. Let it remind you that worrying (and nothing else) will ever take that love away. It emanates from a source far too powerful to be set aside by our behaviors.
I hope that you will try some of these methods if worrying presents a challenge for you. I care! Be assured of this. And besides, you wouldn’t want me to be worrying about you, would you?
Lesson 4
BLAH! BLAH! BLAH!
TURN OFF THE CHATTER
Never miss a good chance to shut up!
That’s what Will Rogers had to say. He was a humorist, actor and cowboy, popular in the 1920s and 30s. Maybe he was before your time. I like this quote so much. It fits right into these weekly lessons.
Think about this: If we are not actually talking or listening to some form of chatter, our minds are all too happy to fill in the space. Tearing from subject to subject. Interjecting thoughts, judgments, and instant analysis of any old thing. Playing the same tired tapes over and over. Don’t we grow weary with all the activity? What a relief to shut up and take a break.
How would you feel about giving some time to silence? Does it seem strange to you? Does your mind object? Who IS the one doing all that thinking, after all? Who is there in the stillness? Could there be someone who witnesses all the falderal? Is it possible that you’ve been so busy with noise that you haven’t noticed that some one else is there? Could it be YOU? Maybe it is time to get acquainted with the true you, the silent one who is in every moment of your life—waking, sleeping, thinking, and dreaming.
I am curious. Does it feel like you are meeting another part of yourself as you dip into silence? Or, if you have been meditating for a long time, maybe you can venture back into the time when you first noticed that someone—YOU—was watching. Most of us are astonished that there is someone other than the prattling mind within us.
In that stillness, when all the blabbering has stopped, you may notice that something subtle and powerful begins to happen.
To the mind that is still the whole universe surrenders.
These are the words of Lao Tsu, the venerable Chinese philosopher who lived in the fifth century, BC. and is the author of the Tao Te Ching. His wisdom has resonated through the ages and carries much commonality with other spiritual and religious paths.
Of all the topics I have covered, one has drawn the most readers and attention. It is the easiest of all. It is based on the above quote. And then there is this:
Be still and know that I am God.
—Psalm 46:10
Silencing the mind. Being still. Resting in the quiet. Isn’t it an irony that this, the stillness, is the way to find peace and Truth? Especially as we live in a world ever more addicted to activity, noise, and interaction? We have filled our lives with chaos, with traffic and cell phones, with texting and talking, with 24/7 news feeds, with headsets and busyness. Do you think this has made us lighter and happier and more loving?
In Week One, we gave ourselves this reminder, to repeat over and over: I love myself completely NOW. For Week Two, we scanned our bodies to wipe away tension and stress. During Week Three, we targeted one of the thought habits that causes stress and discomfort: worrying. Now we take this week to choose the wonder