Open Road Summer
By Emery Lord
4/5
()
About this ebook
"A fabulously entertaining story of friendship, healing, and love." --Elizabeth Eulberg, author
of Better Off Friends and Revenge of the Girl with the Great Personality
After breaking up with her bad-news boyfriend, Reagan O'Neill is ready to leave her rebellious ways behind. . . and her best friend, country superstar Lilah Montgomery, is nursing a broken heart of her own. Fortunately, Lilah's 24-city tour is about to kick off, offering a perfect opportunity for a girls-only summer of break-up ballads and healing hearts.
But when Matt Finch joins the tour as its opening act, his boy-next-door charm proves difficult for Reagan to resist, despite her vow to live a drama-free existence. This summer, Reagan and Lilah will navigate the ups and downs of fame and friendship as they come to see that giving your heart to the right person is always a risk worth taking.
A fresh voice in contemporary romance, Emery Lord's gorgeous writing hits all the right notes.
Emery Lord
Emery Lord is the author of Open Road Summer, The Start of Me and You, and When We Collided. She lives in a pink row house in Cincinnati, with a husband, two rescue dogs, and a closet full of impractical shoes. www.emerylord.com Twitter: @emerylord
Read more from Emery Lord
When We Collided Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Start of Me and You Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Names They Gave Us Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
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Reviews for Open Road Summer
102 ratings13 reviews
What our readers think
Readers find this title to be a delightful and enjoyable read. They love the friendship between the characters and the slow burn romance. The author's writing style perfectly captures the emotions and the summer atmosphere. Readers were so engrossed in the story that they didn't want it to end. Overall, this book is highly recommended for those looking for a captivating and heartwarming read.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I loved this book. I loved the friendship between Regan and Dee, and I loved the slow burn Regan shared with Matt. Emery Lord's style perfectly captures the fun, the heartbreak, and just that good-time summer feeling.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Regan, BFF to a rising country music star, narrates this summer road trip/concert tour. Lilah, or Dee, to her friends is dealt a blow when an innocent picture is cropped to look salacious, and posted online with the intent to damage her reputation. Management brings in a former child star to be an opening act/pretend boyfriend. Of course, sparks fly between Reagan and the pretend boyfriend.
This book was much better than I thought it would be. Earlier this year I read a book that felt like a Disney movie special. (shudder) Open Road Summer was more realistic and felt like a semi-accurate portrayal of life on tour for an underage entertainer who wants to keep her values.
Reagan and Dee's friendship was strong and felt very real. Some of the reviewers have commented on Reagan's slut shaming of other girls, which she did do often, but I felt like it was a proactive reaction to being a slut shamed herself. It didn't bother me, as a reader. - Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I really enjoyed reading your book. I read enthusiastically and understood the story. ... If you have some great stories like this one, you can publish it on Novel Star, just submit your story to [email protected] or [email protected]
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Nashville fangirl in me had a blast reading this book. I've become quite hooked on country music since I started watching and a YA book with a country music theme became a must have.
A most enjoyable light read. With some angsty drama stuff. Self proclaimed party girl Reagan is trying to pull herself together after an incident which left her arm in a cast, so road tripping with her BFF squeaky clean teen country music star Lilah Montgomery on her cross country tour sounds like a perfect way to spend the sum me.
I loved Reagan and Lilah (Dee to her closest friends). Their relationship was wonderful (though not without little drama sparks). There's a few paparazzi scandles popping up whilst on the tour, people trying to tear dowwn squeaky clean Dee. I loved how Reagan stood by her friend and did her best to help with diffusing the situations.
Then hottie friend of Dee's another country star (formally boy band, in a kind of Jonas brothers type act, now the brothers have grown up and moved on trying to reinvent himself) the charming Matt joins the tour as Dee's support act. He and Reagan have to try and deal with each other and their growing attractions to each other. I loved Matt. Matt was a charmer from the start, and a totally swoon worth book boyfriend (at least for me).
Usually song lyrics working their way into books, even original ones, irritate me, but the song lyrics worked into this particular story worked exceptionally well (could just be the budding country fan in me) but I felt they did a great job of managing to portray things the characters couldn't quite bring themselves to say out loud in some case.
It was fun to read, though there were certain aspects of Reagan's personality that did grate on my nerves quite a bit. She makes no secret of her wild past. Yet when any other girl (who isn't her squeaky clean BFF) comes into the picture (girls in clubs, bars, other girls at school) they're all described as obvious in dressing in tight clothes, attention seeking and basic slut shaming. Yet Reagan herself wears tight fitting clothes and does the similar things. Okay, she's trying to calm down and nicely flawed, but the slut shaming and unnecessary girl dislike was what really knocked it down from a five star read for me.
It wrapped up well. It did get kind of over dramatic and angsty towards the end, but concluded in a good believable way. While there were something things about it that annoyed me, it was still a very enjoyable, entertaining read.
Crosses off a square for my Summer Bingo challenge - Road Trip! - Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Really enjoyed this book. Read it so quickly and want it to last longer.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Yes!!!!!
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5So wonderful with words that I read the damn acknowledgement...
- Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5For starting out as a fun, blatantly Taylor Swift-esque story from the best friend's point of view, this takes a hard left turn. Seriously, if this book doesn't scream TSwift at you from page two, you need to reread. It's exhausting how much it's bashed over your head. Another that is exhaustingly sprinkled among the slut-shaming and immaturity is the camera metaphors - we get it Reagan, you know how to use a camera. I was expecting this to focus a lot more on Dee and Reagan's relationship - and it does, for about the first half of the book, if that. Suddenly Former Tween Heartthrob Romantic Interest appears and friendship takes a backseat to constant mooning and forced inner dialogue about how Reagan simply can't like him! Oh no! But of course she does, with much inner turmoil and heavy-handed sexual tension. Reagan also doesn't have sex with him, because she is a Changed Woman, even though she wants to, because this is a Teen Novel and sex is bad and if you have sex you will get arrested and smoke and drink and date an abusive adult at the age of 16 just like Reagan. You don't want to be Reagan, you want to be Dee who Will Love Her Ex-Boyfriend Forever since teen love is bulletproof even under the weight of pop stardom.There is little swearing, especially from Bad Girl Reagan (maybe because she's turning a new leaf) until The Boy's friend Corinne shows up and she gets jealous. From nearly-no-swearing to three instances of a catty, girl-hating, jealous "bitch" slung in twenty pages, not to mention the blatant slut-shaming of concert-goers just for being excited to see Boy Toy on stage and dressing "provocatively," which is only okay when Reagan does it. This jealousy even causes a nasty, violent rift between Reagan and Dee, because Reagan can't restrain herself from taking her frustration out on her best friend. Yet the girl does turn out to be Bad News and kisses The Boy, which means Reagan is absolutely justified for judging a heartbroken, vulnerable stranger after ten seconds - from her actions to her outfit to her freckles and glasses. Everyone kisses and makes up in the end, no damage done, except we never hear from Corinne again after she shows up at Reagan's house and apologizes for her actions and asks her to forgive The Boy, and Reagan is vile to her. She served her purpose, which was creating drama and tension, so who cares what happens to her, right?Ridiculous.
2 people found this helpful
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5What first intrigued me about this book was the fact that it featured a strong female friendship. I was so excited to see a contemporary not based completely on romance! And, for the most part, I got my wish. Reagan and Delilah are the best of friends; ones who support each other through thick and thin, even when one or both of them may be wrong. They had this special connection that just seemed to fly off the pages. When Matt Finch comes into the scene, I was afraid that a weird love triangle would come out of it, but I’m happy that it wasn’t the case at all! Matt was such a joy! Very swoony and charming and just all around great. The romance between him and Reagan was adorable. Reagan on her own was a kind of self-destructive and a bit… naive so liking her took some work. Heck, I think I started to like her by the end of the book. But that’s okay, because seeing her evolve throughout the book was worth it. There’s an absolutely wonderful summer atmosphere going on. It’s full of tour buses, concerts, heat, and country music. I loved everything about it. I know a lot of bloggers have been saying it, but it's true, it felt sort of like a Taylor Swift concert tour. I loved the way the book ended, it was funny, swoony, and happy all around. It really brough summer to life. This is definitely a book you'll want to have on your summer books list. It has a powerful friendship, swoony romance, and goofy moments all around. The music aspect is really well though out, and entertaining as well.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Review courtesy of Dark Faerie TalesQuick & Dirty: Amazing coming of age story featuring friendship, romance, and humor. I loved every minute of this book and would highly recommend it to anyone looking for a great beach read this summer!Opening Sentence: The fans scream for her, but they don’t really know the girl on the magazine covers— the girl with the guitar and the easy smile.The Review:Reagan O’Neil needs to make some changes in her life. She just recently broke up with her loser boyfriend and decided that she needed a change of scenery. Summer just started and Reagan’s country superstar best friend, Lilah Montgomery (or better known as Dee), is starting her cross country music tour and Reagan is going to go with her. Its’ just the distraction she needs to get her life back together and she gets to spend the summer with her best friend. Then comes along, Matt Finch, the young heartthrob that is going to be the opening act for Dee.Reagan has promised herself a drama-free summer and with Matt around that is becoming more and more difficult. He is too charming for his own good, but at the same time he is a good person. Reagan has made some very poor decisions when it comes to the guys she dated and she’s not sure she is a good match for someone like Matt. But with the help of her best friend, she comes to realize that taking risks for love is always worth it, even if you get burned in the end.Reagan is my type of girl. She is beautiful, confidant, snarky, and always has a comeback on the tip of her tongue. But she is also insecure, dramatic, and makes some really dumb decisions. Her flaws made her more realistic and her good qualities made her likable, so she was a very well rounded character that was easy to love. Also, one of the things I liked the most about her was how loyal she was. She has been best friends with Dee for most of her life and even though their friendship has had some rough patches they are always there for each other no matter what. Reagan has also had a rough few years and has made some pretty poor decisions that lead to pretty severe consequences, I love that she owns up to the fact that shes not perfect and has made mistakes. She is trying to change her ways and make herself a better person which made me respect her. I instantly connected with Reagan and my adoration for her just grew throughout the story.Matt was a total heartthrob that was easy to swoon over. He hasn’t had the easiest life, but I loved that he still has such a positive outlook on life. He became famous at a young age which is never an easy thing to deal with, but I felt that he was a genuine person that was just so likable. I also loved that no matter what Reagan threw at him he was always willing to throw it right back at her. He was never fazed by her abrupt attitude and every time she tried to push him away he always stayed constant. They had awesome chemistry but they also were really compatible. Matt was such a wonderful character that makes you feel all gooey inside which is exactly what a love interest should do.Open Road Summer is the perfect beach read. One of my favorite things was that the romance was not the main driving force of the plot. I actually thought that Reagan and Dee’s friendship was a much more significant part of the story and I really liked that. Getting to see a friendship that is more important then your current fling made the story much more realistic. Now don’t get me wrong, I love good romance stories, but its also nice to see such a great friendship story done so well. Also, that’s not to say that the romance wasn’t great because it was perfect! The pacing was spot on and from the very first page I was completely hooked. The ending was amazing and I loved how realistic it was. This is the first book I have read by Lord, but her writing is phenomenal and I will be picking up anything else she writes. I would highly recommend this to anyone that is looking for a great contemporary romance full of heart, love, and friendship.Notable Scene:“Yes!” Dee’s voice is hard to understand through her honking and the suitcase’s insulated sides. “This is going to happen.”She tugs at the zipper, leaving an open space at the top. I poke my head out the top to see Dee, doubled over in laughter. Maybe it’s funny because we’re so tired, so overwhelmed and desperate to laugh. But no matter the reason, I laugh so hard that it feels like a muscle spasm in my stomach. I couldn’t stop if my life depended on it. Dee’s all-out raucous laugh reminds me of being eleven again, of sleepovers where we woke her mom up with our giggling. Girls, Mrs. Montgomery would say, it’s time to quiet down and go to sleep, even though she seemed to be hiding a smile of her own.“Get my camera, get my camera,” I say. Dee retrieves my camera from my bag, holding it with shaking hands. She steadies herself, taking a picture that I hope won’t be blurry.I’m jolted by a rhythmic knock at the door, and Dee nearly drops my camera in surprise. I’m still too slaphappy to panic about my beloved camera’s well-being. For some reason, the chance that the hotel staff will see me zipped into a suitcase is even funnier to us. Dee unzips the suitcase enough that I can wriggle an arm free, and I keep tugging at it as she runs to answer the door. On her tiptoes, Dee peers out the peephole and then throws the door open with full body enthusiasm.The guy at the door looks a bit older than us, with light brown hair that curls slightly at his ears. If this is a hotel concierge, he’s the hottest one ever. Like, of all time. And here I sit, a barefoot jackass in an empty suitcase. I bolt up, ?uf?ng my hair before he can see me.FTC Advisory: Walker Childrens/Bloomsbury provided me with a copy of Open Road Summer. No goody bags, sponsorships, “material connections,” or bribes were exchanged for my review.
- Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5“I think it's the bravest thing in the world - to run straight at love, even knowing how badly you could get hurt.”
*siiiiiiigh* Even though this book has so many flaws, I still liked it. I am a sucker for roadtrips because the rush in anticipating what's next is exciting. Exhilarating, even. I feel strangely energized like change is a very welcome thing.
What I liked:
1. The friendship
I love books with strong female friendships where there is no trying to pull each other down. I love it when they share inside jokes, when the other one is also thinking what the other is thinking. What Reagan and Dee have isn't fake. Sure, they fight over some petty things but that's natural, right? That means they care.
2. The songs
Yeah dude, I know. Some of them are overly cheesy that I have to roll my eyes. But some of them gave me chills so that's saying something.
“Oh, you know I'm only human;
I bend and fall and break
You cut me and I bleed
I'm a mess for you to make
So forget the words and give me deeds
My heart was yours to take.”
3. The love interest
Well, of course I love Matt. He's what the fuss is all about! I like him because of his confidence and sarcasm. (Seriously, that's just the part where he and Reagan are alike.) He's charming when he wants to be but he's hurting when you dig deeper past his cockiness.
What I didn't like:
1. The main character
Gaah, this girl. I swear she's the most infuriating person in the planet. Okay, I understand. She had a lot of baggage of she went through difficult times but it's just not right to drag everybody down with your misery.
2. Slut-shaming
"These girls have no self-respect, and even if they couldn't see me, I make a face of disgust."
SERIOUSLY?! This was just disappointing. How can Reagan think that these girls wearing provacative/sexy dresses have no self-respect when she's wearing those things, too? Ugh.
3. Ending
I don't know. I just don't like it. It was not really explained well and very much open-ended. I don't like open-ended books, thank you very much. It is just annoying when I read a book, focused my time on it,just to see it ended nowhere.
Overall, a good contemporary romance and a perfect summer read but this has flaws I can't overlook. I won't rate this one star since I enjoyed this one to some extent. I am certain that this won't be the last book that I'll read from this author, though. - Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Rising country star seventeen-year-old Lilah (Dee) Montgomery is on her summer tour and takes her best friend, bad-girl Reagan O’Neill with her. Reagan, coming off bad relationships, has resolved to reform beginning this summer. When the tabloids print a photo of Lilah and her ex-boyfriend with hints of her pregnancy, her good-girl image is tarnished. Her publicist signs Matt Finch as an opening act, replacing the local area talents, hoping to divert media attention with speculation that Lilah and Matt are a couple. Matt, in a brother band, the Finch Four, several years earlier, is currently under the radar. His good looks and squeaky clean image are enough to start new rumors. The only problem: no matter how much Reagan tries not to, she’s falling for Matt and vice versa. Can she have a relationship with a ‘good’ guy? If the media finds out, how will that impact Lilah?Open Road Summer, Lord’s debut novel, is truly fun ‘chick-lit’. Lilah, Reagan and Matt are characters readers will immediately like. Lilah’s pain at leaving her ex-boyfriend, who let her go to follow her dream, will pain readers. Reagan’s uncertainty about life and love will resonate with teenage girls, whether ‘good girls’ or ‘bad girls’. Readers will want Matt’s and Reagan’s relationship to thrive. Lord also provides a realistic look at the lengths paparazzi and the media will go to invade a star’s privacy. Since Open Road Summer is due out in April, this reviewer recommends it as a well written beach read.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I wanted to read Open Road summer because it sounds like a great book for summer, and even though it is just now spring in US, I am longing for the warmer days, and it sounded like this book would be perfect. I was hoping for a good mixture of light and heavy, friendship and romance, and the wonderful cover for the book also drew my attention. You got a sense of the characters pretty quickly in Open Road Summer, Reaghan has been in some trouble, and made some bad choices, and Dee with stage name Lilah is the shy inside sweet girl that fame hasn't changed yet. They balance each other out, and while they have a long standing friendship, we clearly see how it plays out for them. The support and how they are just there together is wonderful to read about. I loved the focus on their friendship, how they are there for each other no matter what and they can transition from deep and meaningful to hilarious like zipping one in a suitcase in seconds flat. I am a hit or miss with roadtrip stories, as well as stories with the musician as main character or romance interest, but the combos in this one worked out for me and avoided some of the cliches and troupes that usually can turn me against them. Matt is the romantic interest, and I felt the attraction and chemistry between him and Reaghan right away. I think he found it refreshing that she told it like it was and was more interested in her friendship with Dee than being a fangirl over him. Matt is a genuine good guy, and he's funny, takes Reaghan's sarcasm and the walls she has built up around herself to keep from being hurt again. At first they have to keep everything secret because Matt and Lilah are "dating" in the eyes of the public and paparazzi because they twisted a picture and it was taking down Lilah's clean and wholesome image, and a relationship could make that from taking over publicity. It gives an interesting look into the life of a celebrity, how their lives can be twisted and as a consumer it is just easy to believe what we are fed. It also shows the fragility at times of life in general, how one seemingly inconsequential choice can make such huge waves, but also the strength of human spirit to overcome what keeps being thrown at us. Matt and Reaghan both have some hard things in the past and it is nice to see them finally let down some walls and let each other in. Matt and Dee have this sibling type relationship, they tease each other, are comfortable with one another, and they manage to use their long time friendship to help bolster the impression of their relationship to the media. But it is hurting Reaghan knowing that her and Matt share something. But she struggles a lot with the effect it would have on her friendship and the perception of her best friend, and I so appreciate that this is a huge thing for her, and she has learned from her past and is trying to make better choices and decisions. It was good to know that Dee has her own love interest at home, and that thread makes the story even more layered. Even though Dee and Jimmy had broken up because he thought it was better for her career, we see that Dee has held onto her deep feeling for him, and she loves that he saw her before she became a star and was an awkward and gangly girl instead of poised and together country singer. The ending was well done. It wrapped things up well for the characters but it still kept a realistic ending. There were hopes and dreams yet to be fulfilled but that is life for a teen. I like that it gave a glimpse of what could be for the characters but also wrapping up the themes and threads from this one. This turned out to be just the read I needed, a great balance of light with emotions, and a warm summer read. Bottom Line: Open Road Summer manages the perfect blending of light and fun, flirty to serious romance, strength and beauty of friendship and all that I hoped it would be.
Book preview
Open Road Summer - Emery Lord
Author
CHAPTER ONE
Nashville to Charlotte
The fans scream for her, but they don’t really know the girl on the magazine covers—the girl with the guitar and the easy smile. Her given name is Delilah, and they think she goes by Lilah. But anyone who really knows my best friend calls her Dee. They think she’s seventeen, and she is. But she never acts seventeen. She acts either thirty years old, like a composed professional, in record-label meetings and interviews, or twelve years old, with me—giggling like we did back when she still had braces, back when our summer plans were nothing more than sleepovers and swimming at the pool. They think she wrote the songs on this album while getting over a breakup. But they’re wrong. She’s not over it. Not even close.
On the side of her tour bus, there’s a ten-foot-tall picture of Dee surrounded by a field of wildflowers. The shot captures her hand midstrum against a twelve-string guitar. Next to the picture, Lilah Montgomery
is scrawled in a cursive font meant to mimic Dee’s handwriting. Fans wait in line for hours to get that same signature on posters and T-shirts. The newest album is called Middle of Nowhere, Tennessee, and the title song has been number one for two weeks already. It’s an upbeat song—a happy one, but it was written more than a year ago.
Middle of nowhere, Tennessee,
Exactly where I want to be.
Our initials carved in the old oak tree,
And every road takes me back home.
Middle of nowhere, Tennessee,
Dancing on the porch, you and me.
This is where I was born to be,
No matter how far I may roam.
The song, like so many others, was written for Jimmy.
I feel out of place here, in the expansive parking lot behind Muddy Water Records, outside Nashville. This is the starting point for Dee’s summer tour, and all three passenger buses are lined up, waiting to take us on our way. Dee wafts within the crowd, making cheerful introductions between the families of her band and crew, all here to say good-bye before the buses depart. I’m hanging back, waiting for her, when I sense someone in my peripheral vision. Someone who is not so subtly staring at my legs. There’s plenty to see, since my hemline is pushing the limits of public decency.
Hey,
the guy says, eyeing me in an overeager way that makes me feel embarrassed for him. Are you part of the backup band?
Sure.
This is a lie. I smirk, but it’s forced. I’m not in the mood, not after the month I’ve had. Besides, he’s not my type. Neatly trimmed hair, tucked-in polo shirt. One glance at him and I’m repressing a yawn.
I’m Mark Tran,
he says. I’m the assistant lighting director for the show.
Reagan O’Neill,
I reply. Then I launch the grenade. I’m seventeen.
It lands. Boom. My new friend Mark pinkens as he mutters something about it being nice to meet me. You can only have so many guys hit on you before it gets terribly, almost insultingly boring. My appearance and collection of tiny clothes are like flypaper, drawing in good boys and bad boys, boys younger than me and men old enough to be my father. Their reactions make it easier to tell the difference between the harmless guys and the ones who are venomous—the ones who will make it sting. But sometimes they fool me.
Dee greets her violinist’s mom with an enveloping hug. The woman looks startled, her eyes widening over Dee’s shoulder. My best friend is a hugger, with arms like an unhinged gate. At the mere thought of embracing strangers, I cross my arms, which triggers a splintering pain in my left wrist. I’m wearing my leather jacket despite the early June humidity, hoping that no one notices how tightly the left sleeve fits over my blue cast. The persistent ache feels like a reminder that I can’t keep making bad decisions without breaking more pieces of myself.
Reagan,
Dee calls, waving me over. You ready?
I walk toward her, my tall shoes thudding against the asphalt. This sound is my touchstone, and it follows me anywhere I go. Unless I’m sneaking out of the house. In that case, I use my bare feet to dodge the creaky stairs. Today I chose my heeled motorcycle boots to go with a summer dress made of thin floral-print cotton. Contradiction suits me.
Dee signs a few more autographs for the family members of her band and crew as we try to move toward our tour bus. One girl looks eleven or twelve, and she’s trembling like she’s had espresso injected into her veins.
I think you’re the prettiest person in the whole entire world,
the girl says as Dee signs a photograph of herself, and I listen to your music, like, every single day.
Though I’ve seen emotional fans with Dee before, my first thought is: This is so weird. Dee doesn’t think it’s weird. Without a moment of hesitation or a look of confusion, she squeals a thank-you and hugs the girl, who clutches on to her, stunned.
To her fans, Dee is the best friend they’ve never had, and I guess that part isn’t so weird. Dee’s the only real friend I’ve ever had—the one who comes running even though I’d never admit I need someone by my side. She jokes that she keeps bail money in her nightstand; I joke that she’d be my one phone call. Only I’m not joking. She would be.
Dee hooks her arm through mine as we walk toward her family. I already said good-bye to my dad, standing on the porch of our farmhouse before Dee’s mom picked me up. I didn’t want to do the drawn-out, forlorn farewell, because neither of us is forlorn. We both know we need a break. He needs a break from my causing trouble and bickering with my stepmom, and I need a break from … well, from my whole life, really.
I stay back, crossing my arms again, as Dee hugs her dad—a long, clinging hug that reminds me that leaving isn’t so easy for her. Mrs. Montgomery is hugging Dee’s aunt Peach, who is our summer chaperone. After Peach boards the tour bus, Mrs. Montgomery waves me over, and I uncross my arms. The casted one aches, of course, but I don’t let myself linger on that anymore.
You girls are going to have such a fun summer.
She clasps her hands against my shoulders. I can’t wait to hear about it.
To her credit, Dee’s mom doesn’t admonish me to behave or warn me not to get Dee in trouble. No, Mrs. Montgomery has never been like that, even though I probably deserve it. She hugs me as she always does, like I’m her own daughter.
You call if you need anything, okay?
Dee’s mom whispers as she releases me. This is such a mom thing to say when leaving a daughter at summer camp or at college or, I suppose, on a concert tour. It’s nice to have someone say it to me.
Beside me, Dee crouches down, pulling both of her little brothers into one big hug. She whispers something to both of them, and they nod obediently in response. When she stands back, her eyes are glistening with tears.
None of that,
her mom says. We’ll see you opening night. You won’t even miss us.
That’s not true. Dee would love to have her family on tour, but her parents think it’s important for her brothers to stay grounded in reality. They’re in elementary school, and they should have summers of cannonballs into the pool and makeshift lemonade stands. They should have a childhood that’s based on more than their sister’s fame—a childhood like Dee’s.
Now Dee’s mom holds her close and says something in her ear. Advice, I suppose, or an affirmation of how proud she is. Mrs. Montgomery is a songwriter for a big label on Music Row, but she’s never been a performer. She filled their house with Emmylou Harris and Johnny Cash, and she showed Dee by example that she could make her very own music. Dee’s parents never pushed her toward this career, but her DNA twists into bars of music instead of double helixes.
With one last squeeze, Dee untangles her arms from her mom’s neck. She exhales deeply, linking her pinkie with mine. Let’s do it.
So, with Dee glancing behind us one last time, we step into our home for the next three months. My laptop and camera bag are already on board, and my one massive suitcase is packed in the undercarriage of the bus. Dee designed the interior of the bus herself. Both sides are lined with long leather couches—cushy and deep like the one in her parents’ living room. One couch sidles up to a retro dining nook while the other ends near the compact kitchen area, which is complete with a sink and a well-stocked refrigerator.
I plop down on the right-side couch, cozying against the throw pillows. Dee had them made with a floral fabric to look like the wildflowers on her album cover. There’s a full-size bed in the back, where Peach is already lying down, and two bunks tucked into the bus’s side wall.
Dee nestles into the couch across from mine, turning so she can look out the tall windows at her family. They can’t see her, but she presses her palm against the glass. Her other hand rests on the couch, lingering near her two ever-present cell phones: one for personal contacts and one for work calls. The personal phone holds only a few numbers.
Everyone in the crowd waves as the bus lurches forward. Dee waves back even though no one can see her but me. The bus driver honks the horn a few times, and just like that, we’re on our way to everywhere. Dee keeps looking out the window, watching as the scenes of downtown slide into images of our small town on the east side of Nashville. The snapshots of home pass us by—the wide trees and fields of crops and little houses, each with its own American flag. Outside, the sky is darkening, and so is Dee’s mood. She’s wringing her hands absentmindedly, smoothing a fingertip over her polished nails.
Real-life Dee doesn’t have shiny pink nails. She has dirt under her fingernails from playing with her little brothers. She’s still in full makeup from the press conference earlier, and, with false eyelashes too dark for her fair complexion, Dee looks like a higher-contrast version of herself. Her blond hair is in loose waves that end exactly at her shoulders, the same cut and style as my own. The only difference is that Dee’s natural coloring looks like an American landscape—country-sky-blue eyes and hair the color of Tennessee wheat fields, golden strands with darker undertones. My hair is nearly black, and I have jealous green eyes. In a fairy tale, she’d play the good fairy. I’d be the evil witch’s screwup second cousin.
Dee’s working through something in her mind, hugging herself as one hand toys with her necklace. The necklace is her trademark talisman—a thin chain with a tiny horseshoe that rests right on the hollow of her throat. Jimmy gave it to her for her fourteenth birthday, and she’s never played a show without it. The necklace suits Dee so perfectly—the gold color and the simple, delicate charm—that it seems intrinsic, as much a part of her as the tiny scar on her chin or the freckles across her shoulders.
Hey,
I say, finally figuring out why she’s so preoccupied. That reporter from earlier … she doesn’t know anything. I think her hair was proof of that.
Dee tries not to smile, but she can’t help it. I like to think of myself as the devil on her shoulder, happy to say the things that she’s too polite to think. I don’t want it to be like this, you know. Missing him makes me feel weak and pathetic.
I know.
When she talks about Jimmy, she almost never says his name. She doesn’t have to. He’s the him
in every sentence that really matters; he’s the he
in every song.
She shakes her head. I brought this on myself by writing the songs that I wrote. Of course they were going to ask. I just have to take it.
Thinking back to this afternoon’s press conference, I bite down on the insides of my cheeks—a habit I’ve developed since I quit smoking last month. The media session, held in the event room of the record label’s building, was mostly uneventful, but one reporter got pushy.
Your first album was all about falling in love,
the reporter said. This album seems to be mostly about heartbreak. Can you speak to that?
Dee’s smile stayed glued on, but I know sadness swelled in her lungs. In interview prep, Dee’s publicist quizzes her with painful questions like they’re multiplication flash cards. I knew she could handle this question, but she looked so diminutive up on the platform, sandwiched between her bulky manager and her towering publicist at a long table.
Eh,
Dee answered smilingly, trying to sound casual. "I didn’t want to be seen as a one-trick-pony songwriter, so I focused on something other than falling in love—falling out of love."
That’s another thing the fans have wrong about her. They think she’s a celebrity, and she is. But she’s also a real girl, one who fake-smiles until she can close her bedroom door and sob.
Did you recently end a relationship that caused you heartbreak?
It was the same reporter, butting in without being called on. My noncasted hand gripped into a fist. Perhaps a long-term relationship with a high-school boyfriend, as it’s been rumored in the tabloids?
Behind the microphone, Dee caught her smile right before it dropped to the floor. The only relationship I’m in is with my guitar. We’re still very happy together; thank you for asking.
Laughter spread through the crowd of reporters. Even Dee’s sour-faced publicist, Lissa, almost smiled. Dee moved on with press-conference pleasantries, but my edges are harder than hers and always have been. She forgives, forgets, moves on; I smolder quietly like embers, waiting for just enough fresh air to rage into a wildfire. Needless to say, that reporter better hope she never comes up against me. I grew up in a minefield of mean girls, and their snarky shrapnel made me bionic. Now I’ve got a stockpile of verbal ammunition and a grudge against anyone who crosses Dee.
Dee sighs and slides over to my couch, still with the same solemn look on her face.
Reagan, I can’t tell you how much it helps to have you here.
She’s the only person I know who can say sentimental things and still sound completely real. She glances toward the back of the bus and says in a quieter voice, Peach is great, but it’s not the same.
Peach is Mrs. Montgomery’s youngest sister. When Dee was little, she couldn’t say her aunt’s real name, Clementine. She called her Peach instead, and now everyone else does, too. Dee takes after Peach, with her fair skin and naturally blond hair. But Peach is taller, with straightened hair and feathery bangs.
I smile at her. I wouldn’t have missed it.
Actually, I almost did miss it. My dad was reluctant to let me spend my summer traveling the country on a tour bus with only Dee’s twenty-six-year-old aunt as the chaperone. He isn’t much for parental mandates, so I assume that my stepmother was pulling his puppet strings. Fortunately, they both hated Blake, the guy I was dating at the time, and would have done anything to put distance between us. They finally agreed to the tour when I mentioned college applications. I plan to use the tour as a way to add to my photojournalism portfolio. By summer’s end, I should have shots from all over the country.
For me, this summer is more than a pleasant detour; it’s a necessary diversion. For the past year, I’ve been stuck in the life of a normal junior in high school, passing the time with people I don’t especially like at parties that aren’t especially fun. So I made my own fun, and it did not go very well. Meanwhile, Dee has been performing at award shows, shooting magazine covers, and completing the Middle of Nowhere album.
Peach emerges from the bedroom area in the back of the bus. When Dee opened for the band Blue Sky Day last year, she needed a guardian to accompany her on tour. Dee’s parents couldn’t come because of her brothers, so Peach volunteered. She wound up dating Dee’s banjo player, Greg, which explains her eagerness to join up on this tour as well. Dee requires very little supervision, so Peach spends her time hanging out with her boyfriend and fielding phone calls from Dee’s management team.
True to form, Peach is holding a magazine. She keeps up with all the gossip websites, too, checking for articles about Dee. I’m always tempted to read what people say about Dee, but my temper can’t handle it.
Thought you might want one.
Peach smiles as she hands me the open magazine. It’s not out till next month, but we got a few first-run prints for approval.
Thanks,
I reply before she retreats to the bedroom. I examine the front of the magazine, which happens to be a favorite of mine. I never would have thought Dee could land the cover of Idiosync; she’s the first country artist ever deemed cool enough for it. The magazine’s aesthetic is edgy and urban, which is how I’d describe my own sense of style—but never Dee’s. In the picture, she’s wearing red ballet flats and a tight navy blazer over a white collared shirt and jeans … while riding a mechanical bull at a Nashville saloon. Instead of some trying-to-be-sexy rodeo-girl pose, Dee’s holding on with both hands, head tilted back and laughing. She looks taller than her petite stature—only one inch taller than me—and it makes me wonder if other people in magazines are smaller in real life. BUCK THE MAN, the title screams. Dixie darling Lilah Montgomery talks prep-school style, small-town roots, and bucking off pop music.
Dee grins at me, pointing at the bold-font headline. "Lissa is not happy, so, naturally, I’m thrilled. She’s making them change the title of the article."
Most of Dee’s look
has been a bickering match with her publicist at some point or another. The wardrobe battle raged on for months. Dee has a very specific sense of style, which is inspired mostly by the old movies she watched with her mom when she was little—shrunken blazers; girlie skirts or modest, colorful dresses; and delicate ballet flats. When Dee was starting out, Lissa fussed that her style was too collegiate for our target demographic.
The record label wanted her in cowgirl boots, but Dee refused. After her first album, Dee was offered a promotional deal for J.Crew’s new teen line. Lissa’s eyes spun like a slot machine landing on dollar signs, and she never mentioned Dee’s clothing choices again.
I skim the article, hoping the interviewer played nice. Idiosync mocks clichés, which is why I like it, but if they made fun of Dee, I’ll have to cancel my subscription and send anonymous hate mail.
Country chanteuse Lilah Montgomery is everything you expect and a whole lot more that you don’t expect. She is a giggly blond gamine, she is affably coy about her personal life, and she is unpretentious to the point of eating a messy cheeseburger in my presence. In the two hours I spent with Lilah Montgomery at Smokin’ Pistols Saloon in Nashville, she proved sweet as pecan pie. But this rising star will raise her voice, all right. Just ask her if she plans to veer her upbeat country-gone-folksy songbook toward the pop music scene.
Never,
she insists. Her voice carries vehemence, a resounding finality that defies the usual public-relations doublespeak. No, let me rephrase that. I won’t change the way I write music; I won’t change my subject matter or add bass beats or refrain from using a banjo and harmonica in my backup band. But if people who enjoy pop music also enjoy my music, wonderful. I’m thrilled. But I won’t compromise who I am as an artist or songwriter.
Industry critic Jon Wallace calls her a musician’s musician
—an artist focused on instrumentation, on perfecting complicated harmonies and pioneering her own sound. Lilah cites Patty Griffin, Joni Mitchell, and Dolly Parton as her biggest musical inspirations, though her music is pointedly more cheerful than her inspirations suggest. Where does that extra spark come from? Her mother—songwriter Laura Montgomery.
While I read, Dee’s spinning her work phone in the palm of her hand without looking at it. Instead, her gaze shifts around the tour bus as if she’s tracking the flight pattern of an aimless gnat. When Dee’s mind darts around, her eyes do, too.
Hey,
I say. Relax.
Yeah, yeah.
She waves her hand at me. I’m relaxed.
This would be a lie no matter when she said it, even in her sleep. The first time I saw a diagram of nerve endings in my biology book, I thought they looked like tiny, splayed-out hands or the bird’s-eye view of a leafless tree. I’m pretty sure Dee’s nerve endings look like coiled springs.
Terry texted me again. He won’t give it up.
Terry, her manager, is relentless.
Which ‘it’?
Performing ‘My Own.’ Not gonna happen.
She taps her fingers on her phone, standing her ground.
The song is an upbeat powerhouse, complete with hand claps in the chorus.
On my own, you’ll see,
This ain’t no Les Miserables.
I’m wild and free and I’m seventeen,
And I’ll make it my job
To show you how good my life can be;
Ain’t no pain in my alone.
I’m happy to be just little ol’ me,
And I’ll make this world my own.
She thought if she could write a song about being happy without Jimmy, maybe it would become a self-fulfilling prophecy. That plan didn’t work, but her label loved the song enough to put it on the record. Dee cares deeply about honest performances, and she can’t make herself prance around stage while singing a lie to her fans. When Dee refused to include My Own
in the tour set list, Terry’s face looked like an oven-baked ham—pink and almost steaming.
The sky is nearly dark now, smudges of clouds across an inky sky, and the bus window reflects my image back to me—the sharp collarbones that have long been my least favorite feature, the wavy hair that’s hard to manage without the use of my left hand. But, worst of all, behind thick black eyeliner, my eyes look tired. And I am tired—weary, even—but at least I’m here, hiding in Dee’s life until I can handle my own.
As we barrel toward North Carolina, I take in the last glimpses of Tennessee that I’ll have till late August. I don’t think I’ll miss Nashville, except maybe the country sky at night, the way every centimeter is flecked with stars. It’s something I could never capture in a photograph, the hugeness of the universe and the smallness of everything else. When Dee and I were little, the world seemed so vast—so impossibly, frighteningly vast that we could never make it our own.
Does the sky go on forever? Dee asked me the summer we met. We were lying on our backs in the cool grass, facing up. She’d gotten a book of constellations for her eighth birthday, and we were using it to search the sky.
Yep, I told her. It’s called infinity.
Infinity, she repeated. There was a pause as I traced Ursa Minor with my finger, and I could feel her looking over at me. Do you think we could be friends for infinity? she asked.
After a moment, I said, Yeah. I’m pretty sure we could be. She linked her pinkie with mine, our secret signal, and the planet spun on beneath the starlight. These days, the world doesn’t seem nearly big enough to outrun our problems.
My eyes follow a blinking airplane light, and its steady path leaves me thinking about how far we’ve come. It’s no secret that Dee has come a long way from the middle of nowhere, Tennessee, but, as the cast on my arm reminds me, I have, too. The difference is: I still have a lot farther to go.
CHAPTER TWO
Charlotte
I’ve been to Dee’s concerts before, of course, but never like this. Nothing is like this. We spent yesterday at the concert hall, as Dee and the band did a final dress rehearsal, but now this place is a never-ending fun house of Dee look-alikes. Younger girls stand with their moms alongside countless girls our age in matching outfits—blazers and horseshoe necklaces and ballet flats. I even spot a decent number of good-looking guys. I’ll come back for them when I’m done with my phone call.
I’m hunting for a place quiet enough to wish my dad a happy birthday because even Dee’s dressing room is too noisy. When I mentioned that I was stepping out to call my dad, I pretended not to notice Dee’s freshly waxed eyebrows lift in surprise. She recovered quickly, though, and gave me an encouraging smile.
Of course Dee doesn’t expect me to check in with my dad. My family life belongs in the lyrics of a bad country song. My mom walked out on us when I was eight, and my dad took it badly. He moved the two of us from Chicago to his hometown of Nashville, presumably to be closer to the Jack Daniel Distillery. Even though he quit drinking when I was twelve, enough damage had been done. I was mad at my mom for abandoning us and mad at him for abandoning me emotionally. Not even Dee’s good influence could keep me from trying to hurt my parents the way they hurt me. At least that’s what my court-appointed therapist thinks, and I hate to admit that she’s probably right. I also hate to admit that she’s court-appointed.
My track record started with mouthing off in seventh grade and skipping a few study halls in eighth grade. Freshman year of high school, I flirted with senior boys and made out with them in their cars, just to feel that rush of it all. I snuck out of the house to parties, where I smoked, drank bad beer, and needed Dee to help me home. After Dee left on