Always Yours, Baby: The Baby Saga, #4
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How could someone so pure want filth like him?
Damon Comb was no stranger to pain, hunger, loneliness, and abandonment. Being given a family that would die for one another didn’t erase six years of torture. It didn’t take away the nightmares. She did. She was everything someone like him should never be allowed. She was goodness and strength and she made him human.
How could someone so broken complete her?
Willa McClain had it all, a family that adored each other, the love of an entire town and a future she worked her butt off to get. But all she wanted was the boy with the sad blue eyes and the crooked smile. He was her best friend, her protector and the only one who really understood her.
How could a love like theirs be extinguished?
But nothing ever lasted forever. Damon knew better than anyone how quickly the tides could change. Can he keep his past at bay before it consumes the only light in his dark world? Can he finally tell Willa the truth, or will his fears tear them apart forever?
How could love so strong ever fail?
Airicka Phoenix
Airicka Phoenix is a multi genre author of over twenty-five bestselling novels starring strong female leads and sexy alpha heroes. She started her journey after never finding the type of books she wanted to read. Her love of tortured souls and forbidden romance carried her into writing her own hard-earned happiness. Currently, she lives on the outskirts of Toronto with her babies and can be found hard at work on her next project. For more about Airicka, visit her at AirickaPhoenix.com
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Always Yours, Baby - Airicka Phoenix
Also by Airicka Phoenix
Games of Fire
Betraying Innocence
TOUCH SAGA
Touching Smoke
Touching Fire
Touching Eternity
THE LOST GIRL SERIES
Finding Kia
Revealing Kia
REGENERATION SERIES
When Night Falls
THE BABY SAGA
Forever His Baby
Bye-Bye Baby
Be My Baby
IN THE DARK SERIES
My Soul For You
Kissing Trouble
SONS OF JUDGMENT SAGA
Octavian’s Undoing
Gideon’s Promise
STANDALONE
The Voyeur Next Door
ANTHOLOGY
Whispered Beginnings: A Clever Fiction Anthology
Midnight Surrender Anthology
Dedication
For the lovers of Willa & Damon.
And the lovers of my books.
Always Yours, Baby
Chapter One ~ Damon
When are you going to tell her?
In the process of checking his watch, Damon paused. His fingers rapped once on the rough grain of the picnic table in irritation before curling into a loose fist next to his elbow. Loose wisps of autumn wind swept through the clearing, pushing locks of dark hair into his eyes that were impatiently swept back.
Whenever I feel like it,
he muttered into the phone. She’s not ready.
The she in question stood several yards away, surrounded by a field of knee-high grass and wild flowers. The late afternoon sun glittered through her unbound hair, turning the sleek strands a deep, rich gold that lifted around her thin shoulders with every crisp breeze. She hadn’t moved in the last ten minutes. Every so often, Damon could just hear the quiet snap of camera shutters and the whir of gears as the device clutched to her face captured the setting sun clamped between two jagged points in the distance.
I think you should just do it.
Annoyance twisted lines between his eyebrows as he fought not to just hang up on his friend. Since getting married and starting a family, Jared Dumont had inexplicably grown a vagina. Suddenly, it was inexcusable for anyone to be single. Like he wasn’t happy unless the world was as perfectly matched as he was. His wife, Calla, was no better. It had gotten to the point where Damon didn’t even want to answer his phone. They were relentless and he had no patience to be lectured about something he already knew.
I think you two should mind your own damn business,
he muttered in return before hitting the off button and stuffing his phone into the pocket of his jacket.
Sensing his mood shift the way only Willa could, she turned. Twigs snapped beneath the heels of her boots. The light glittered off the surface of her blue eyes and shimmered like sunlight bouncing off clear, tropical waters. Pale strands drifted over pinkened cheeks and were absently brushed aside with a gloved hand. Her head went to the side even as her lips bowed into a sheepish smile that wrenched his heart.
I’m sorry.
She started towards him, long legs devouring the distance between them effortlessly. You should have told me I was taking so long.
Damon rose as she reached the weather worn table positioned precociously beneath a twisted and bare tree that had seen better days. Part of one bench was snapped off and the rest was still upright out of sheer grit. But it had been a welcome companion in the last several hours.
You weren’t.
With a soft laugh that held traces of the disbelief furrowing her brows, Willa shook her head. We’ve been here five hours.
He knew it. His ass had been asleep for most of it. But for her, he shrugged.
Didn’t notice.
Smiling with a brilliance that overruled all the wrongs of the world, she went to him. Her camera was set gently on the table and she put her arms around his shoulders. It was always awkward. She was so small. Her embraces pulled his back into a curve. But it was worth it to feel her in his arms, to feel her warmth and be surrounded by the sweet scent of her.
I’ll make it up to you,
she promised, tickling the side of his neck with her cool breath. She drew back and peered into his face. I’ll pay for dinner.
She always offered.
Deal.
He always agreed, but he’d never let her.
Still smiling, she released him and went about gathering her equipment. Damon watched her and marveled at her captivating grace; she moved the way dancers took the stage, with elegance and purpose. Watching her always reminded him of some elaborate ballet that spoke to his soul.
Ready,
she said, swinging her camera case over one shoulder.
He beat her to it before she could grab the rest. She packed for work the way most women packed to go for a month long cruise around the world. He had talked her into leaving most of her stuff behind once and regretted it when she got to the place she was photographing and realized she needed a lot of it. She hadn’t said as much, but he had known she was upset. The only problem with that was she hadn’t been upset with him for talking her into leaving the stuff in the first place; she’d been upset with herself and that always killed him.
Thank you for coming with me,
she said as they started the fifteen minute walk back to the highway and his Jeep.
Their combined footsteps echoed through the patch of clearing surrounded by a jagged terrain of piercing mountains and trees. He had no idea how she found the place, but it was an hour out of town, in the middle of nowhere. Damn straight he was going with her.
I wasn’t doing anything today,
he said. Besides, I like watching you work.
Beaming, she slid her arm through his and hugged it to her chest. I know it’s boring for you.
Her head pillowed on his shoulder. But I like having you with me.
Neither spoke as they followed the winding path through the wilderness towards the main highway. Leaves shivered above them, filling the silence with their quiet rustle. A few tore away from their branches and drifted to earth where they lay abandoned with all the others in a damp carpet of rot. Beside him, Willa sneezed into the crook of her elbow. Her sniffles drew his attention down to the redness of her nose and the slight shiver that passed through her.
Where’s your coat?
he demanded, stopping and glancing back in the direction they’d come from, wondering if they’d left it behind.
Rubbing the sleeve of her sweater beneath her nose, Willa sighed. I left it in the car. I didn’t think it would be this cold,
she explained when he frowned at her.
It’s October,
he reminded her as he gently set her things down at their feet. What did you think it would be like?
Undoing the zipper of his coat, he shrugged out of the heavy wool and swung it around her hunched shoulders, ignoring her protest.
Put your arms through,
he ordered.
But you’re going to get sick!
she complained.
I’m fine. Now do it!
Reluctantly, she slid her hands through the sleeves. He zipped it up all the way to her button nose, then reached into the collar to fish out her hair.
Willa yelped and scurried forward, away from his touch and deeper into the circle of his arms.
So cold!
she hissed, bouncing on the spot.
Hold still,
he muttered, biting back his grin as he reached for her again, this time careful not to let his fingers brush the back of her neck.
Her hair slipped through his fingers like fine silk threads. They tumbled down her back and over her shoulders in a downy sheet that framed her perfectly oval features and the wide dominance of her blue eyes. Still careful not to touch skin, he combed the strands back from her temples and tucked them behind her ears. The late afternoon light sparked off the tiny gold hoops in each earlobe.
She seemed so delicate with her head tipped back to his and her eyes filled with too much trust. He doubted it even crossed her mind that he could do just about anything to her and no one would ever know; she hadn’t told anyone where they were going, or when they would be back, or that they were even heading out of town. They were completely isolated and surrounded by miles of wilderness.
But she had never seen him as a threat. All their lives, she had been the one steady force in his life, the singular thing holding him steady when his world had spun wildly out of control. She had been the only person to take one look at him and immediately love him without ever asking for anything in return. And he loved her. God, how he loved her.
Better?
At her nod, he hoisted up her equipment cases, waited for her to hook her arm through the crook of his and began walking. Good. Let’s go. Someone promised me pie.
Willa laughed and snuggled closer into his side. You hate pie.
What kind of crazy person hates pie?
he mused.
You!
She poked him lightly in the ribs with a slim finger barely visible beneath the cuff of his sleeve. You say it’s wrong to bake perfectly good fruit.
Damon wrinkled his nose. I do say that, don’t I?
He exhaled heavily. Well, I stand by my moral outrage.
Chuckling, she laid her head on his shoulder once more and inhaled deeply. I can’t wait until winter.
I can,
he grumbled. Hate winter.
I know, but I love it. Everything is so beautiful when it snows.
A smile turned up her lips, exposing small, white teeth that were only slightly uneven where her canines came out too far. Remember that year you created icicles on our roof?
Damon winced. Vividly.
Her laugh rippled through the trees. I was so scared Dad was going to kill you.
It was close,
he agreed, remembering that winter morning all too well.
It had been his first Christmas back from school and he’d been broke thanks to the insane number of textbooks he’d had to get for the semester. He hadn’t told anyone, but he hadn’t wanted to come home that year, simply because it meant not being able to give Willa anything Christmas morning. The year before, he’d gotten her a camera and the pure adoration on her face had been a thing of magic. He had wanted that again. He had wanted to be the person who gave her exactly what she wanted, and photography equipment wasn’t cheap.
Willa was only sixteen, but even then, she’d had the artistic eye like her mother; everything she captured in her lens became a piece of beauty. The whole town loved her work; it was showcased everywhere. She had a gift, one that brought people joy and she deserved the best to keep doing it.
That year, the thing she had wanted was icicles. Not the small ones that dangled from windowsills, but long, jagged ones that looked like monster teeth. He’d helped her look everywhere for even one with no avail. Come the night before Christmas, he’d climbed up on her roof with a hose and sprayed water all down one side of the house. He’d almost frozen to death, but come dawn, icicles had rained from the gutters and dangled just over her bedroom window in a jagged sheet of spikes.
She had been elated.
Her dad ... not so much.
But Damon had always understood her love of winter. For her it was a time of fantasy, of glitter and make-believe as a child. For him, it was a reminder of nights he’d gone to bed hungry and so cold, he’d soiled himself for warmth. It was memories of dragging on every stitch of fabric in his closet with numb fingers to keep from dying in the night. It was lying in the dark and watching his breath shudder out of him in sharp, white pants. So, no, he had no love for winter.
Damon?
Willa’s quiet murmur drew him out of those days as it always did. It washed over him in a flood of warmth that chased away the icy tendrils of bile and hatred that curdled deep in his gut. What are you thinking about?
She knew of his life before her aunt and uncle had adopted him. She had seen the wild, angry child he had been at six. But he had never told anyone the extent of what he’d gone through before Cole and Beth McClain stepped into his life. Not even Willa, whom he told everything to. That was a darkness he never wanted touching her, not even in thought.
Pie,
he muttered, putting a disgusted edge to his tone.
Willa laughed and hugged his arm harder. You’re so strange.
His beat up jeep sat exactly where he’d parked it earlier that morning. He moved to the passenger’s side door and yanked it open for her before rounding to the back and gingerly setting her cases into the hatch. The sky overhead rolled with dark, vengeful clouds and he knew they had an hour before they were hit, whether by snow or rain was still unclear.
Slamming the back hatch closed, he circled around to the driver’s side and slid in behind the wheel. Willa was already seated, belt in place, door closed, snapping pictures of the sky through the windshield.
I think it’s going to snow,
she predicted, making him wonder—not for the first time—if she really could read his mind.
Hope not.
He propelled the vehicle onto the road and headed towards home. We have a move this Friday.
That was another reason he hated winters. Being a mover meant heaving heavy objects out of places in all manner of weather. Sun and rain weren’t so bad. Snow meant ice and nothing was more dangerous than balancing a three hundred pound piece of furniture down icy steps.
Are you hungry?
he asked the woman next to him.
A little, but I can wait.
She peered over at him, her camera in her lap. I have to work tomorrow until seven.
Want me to pick you up?
No!
she said almost instantly, as though she knew he would offer. You promised Jared and the boys you’d play poker with them tomorrow, remember?
He did, but that didn’t mean he wanted to go. He knew the moment he walked in through those doors, they’d start on him about Willa and when he’d man up and tell her how he felt. Hell if he knew why it was so important to them, but they had made it their life’s mission to get him laid, by any means necessary, and he just wasn’t like that. It didn’t matter to him how long he had to wait. He wasn’t in a hurry. Willa was his in all the ways that mattered most.
Who the hell sets up a poker game on a Thursday night?
he muttered grudgingly. I can still swing by and—
Don’t you dare!
she scolded him. You need to spend time with your friends and I’ll be fine. Our apartment is two minutes away from the shop.
Ten minutes and eighteen seconds, to be exact. He knew because he had selected that particular apartment for that very reason—its proximity to the studio and his peace of mind, especially after what had happened. That night still gave him nightmares. The fear was forever lodged deep in the recess of his subconscious, a bitter reminder of just how easily he could lose her if he wasn’t careful.
It had been raining with a vengeance that had closed the entire town down. The roads were flooded in all directions and most of the houses were forced to evacuate. Willa had been on her way home for the weekend, despite Damon’s protest for her not to. The storm warning had been in effect. She even left early to try and avoid the worst of it. But the rain had hit her part way between home and town. Her car had swerved into a ditch and she’d hit her head on the steering wheel, blacking out. No one had known until the hospital had called Damon’s phone. He’d never been so scared in his life. Not ever. When school ended and she returned home, that fear would surge up every time she went to work and came home. It got to the point where he’d feel physically sick every time she left the house.
He found the apartment in the local paper, a two bedroom suite not ten minutes from the studio. He brought the matter up before the entire family one weekend, stating his case and insisting it was the right thing. Her mother and Beth had agreed. Sloan had not. It was too far and he didn’t like Willa living on her own, even if she had been twenty two. That was when Willa had suggested Damon take the spare room he had initially picked to be a darkroom for her. She had insisted and he hadn’t argued. Neither had Sloan, to Damon’s surprise. One year later, they were still in the same place. He still went home to her every night, spent every free hour with her and, more times than not, got to hold her all night in his bed. The only thing missing in their relationship was sex, and while he wanted it desperately, he would wait for her to give him the green light that she wanted it too. That hadn’t happened yet.
The sky was an ugly smear of dark gray by the time they rolled into Willow Creek. The roads were filled with people leaving work and heading home for the evening. Damon turned off the main road leading home and pulled into the parking spot across the street from Libellule, the studio/boutique Willa ran with her mother, aunt and sister. He parked and shut off the engine.
In the seat next to him, Willa blushed and shot him a sheepish smile.
You know me too well,
she teased.
He turned to her. You got an hour, then I’m going to get you fed.
Unsnapping her belt, she leaned over the middle console and kissed him on the cheek. Don’t know what I’d do without you, Damon.
With the fading sun playing across the warm surface of her eyes and shining like liquid gold through her hair, it was impossible not to reach for her. His hand lifted and combed lightly through the silky strands, pushing them off her temple to curve behind her ear.
You’ll never have to find out,
he promised.
Apprehension flickered across her face, twisting a line between her thin eyebrows before it was gone and she was smiling again.
Come on. I want to show you the pictures I took.
Giving his hand, still cradled against the side of her face, a light squeeze, she eased out of the Jeep. Damon waited a second longer before following her inside.
Libellule was a fancy clothing shop for women on one side manned by her business savvy sister, Calla, and a chic portrait studio on the other, run by Willa and her mom. Damon knew Beth owned half the shop, but she was rarely there, if ever. Most of her time was spent playing nurse at the hospital.
That evening, Calla Dumont was at the front with two year old Colten perched on her hip. The toddler was sucking lazily on his thumb with his blond head resting on his mother’s shoulder while she scrubbed at the glass counter with a rag. The sight was like some ad out of those parenting magazines describing working moms and multitasking. Calla, in her sleek white pencil skirt and scarlet, off the shoulder sweater looked more like she belonged on some runway, not cradling a two year old while dusting. Yet, she somehow pulled off looking ridiculously gorgeous and motherly. Her blonde hair was a halo of curls twisted into an elaborate knot over her bare shoulder. Gold hoops glinted from her ears, matching the pendent at her throat and the watch on one wrist. The only other piece of jewelry was her wedding rings, which sparked brightly with every vicious scrub of the cloth.
Dame!
Colten spotted him first and both arms shot up in a silent demand. Up!
Heart swelling as it always did when the boy was around, Damon marched over and scooped the toddler out of his mother’s arms and tossed him once into the air before hugging him close.
Hey, little dude, you being good?
Colten beamed. I eated cheese.
Ate,
Calla corrected. I ate cheese.
Damon ignored her. No kidding.
He adjusted his grip more firmly under the boy’s bottom. Save me any?
Colten shook his head, making his tight curls bounce. I eated.
Poking his chubby little stomach where it had become exposed between the hem of his t-shirt and corduroy pants, Damon scowled even as Colten squealed and doubled over in giggles.
That wasn’t nice,
he scolded. For that, I should toss you into the garbage.
Colten was still giggling, even when Damon’s hand circled his tiny ankle and he was released. With a squeak, Colten swung out of Damon’s arms, tilting sideways and then upside down as he plummeted to the ground.
Damon!
Calla shrieked, arms flinging out across the counter like she could somehow catch the boy. But she was too far and Colten screamed with glee as Damon swung him like an upside down pendulum. His shrieks melted into squeals of laughter that filled the whole shop.
All innocence, Damon blinked up at his sort of stepsister. Yeah?
You crazy, stupid son of—
Hey!
Damon gasped. Children!
Breathing hard, ashen face slowly bleeding back with color, Calla glared at him like she would have liked nothing better than to stab him with the stapler next to her hand.
He was still holding Colten upside down when the bells above the door jingled and Jared stalked into the shop. He took one look at Calla’s irate expression and his son’s upside down one and arched a brow.
Did I miss something?
"Your friend nearly dropped Colten."
Damon rolled his eyes. "I did not nearly drop him. He peered at his best friend.
I did drop him. See?"
He held the boy up by his ankles in display.
Colten giggled and waved at his father. Hi daddy!
Giving a snort he wisely smothered behind a cough, Jared moved forward and snatched his red faced son out of Damon’s hold. The boy grinned with all the delight in the world as he was hoisted into his father’s chest.
Hey, champ. Uncle Damon being mean to you?
I eated cheese,
Colten declared.
Again?
Jared glanced at his wife. Is he on a cheese diet that I don’t know about?
Calla drew in a breath, rolled her eyes heaven ward and let the air out. He hasn’t had cheese in a week. I have no idea why he keeps saying that.
Jared chuckled and ruffled a hand through his son’s hair. Ready to go home, Mister?
Colten nodded eagerly. Dame coming?
Sorry, little dude, I can’t. But I’ll see you tomorrow,
Damon promised, flicking Colten in the nose playfully.
Untroubled by that fact, Colten turned blue eyes to his mother. Home, Mommy. Come.
Calla’s face immediately softened. She skirted around the counter and pressed a kiss to the boy’s round, flushed cheek.
Mommy has to stay a little longer, but I’ll see you at home, okay?
She kissed him again. Be good for daddy.
’k,
the boy agreed, wrapping chubby arms around his father’s neck and resting his head on his father’s shoulder. Home, Daddy.
Rubbing his small back, Jared leaned down and kissed Calla, long and slow.
I’ll see you at home, baby,
he murmured. Don’t be long.
Touching his face, Calla nodded. I won’t be.
With a final kiss, Jared turned to Damon, who reflexively stiffened.
We still on for tomorrow night?
Damon nodded, partially relieved. I’ll be there.
You better be,
Jared warned. I’ll find your aaah ... butt,
he corrected quickly.
"Yeah,