The Dysfunctional Proposal: The Dysfunctional Chronicles, #4
By Hadena James
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About this ebook
Nadine's path has crossed with assassins before. But, this time, she and her two closest friends, Alex and Kenzie have come so close to death, they are being taken into protective custody. What Nadine hadn't counted on was Melina also being there and Melina is convinced one of the trio is pregnant.
Between shopping for baby supplies, a visit to the salon, Melina's pregnancy hex, and assassins hot on their trail, will any of the girls get out alive, sanity intact?
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The Dysfunctional Proposal - Hadena James
June 24
The day started normal enough. I got up, kissed my husband good-bye, stopped at Panera and got a bagel for breakfast, and headed into work. I worked through lunch, so I had pizza delivered. After work, I meet up with Alex and Kenzie for dinner. As we were leaving, normalcy ended. I felt a burning sensation in my chest. Blood blossomed on my shirt. I drew my gun as my knees gave out. I sank to the ground with the sound of gunfire fading away.
At this point, I had two thoughts. The first was that I couldn't believe some wanker had shot me in an Applebee's parking lot. The second was that I needed to watch less British television because I had used the word wanker.
July 1
You don't get it. I am not going into protective custody. I have done that and I did not enjoy it,
I told my brother Ivan. I had gotten out of the hospital a few days before. Surgery had been difficult and it still hurt whenever I moved. I was set to start physical therapy in a few days.
It is just until we figure out who went after you. All three of you were shot and you all have an extensive list of enemies,
Ivan was nearly pleading with us.
The us
was Alex, Kenzie and myself.
Do you have any idea what it is going to be like locked up with your sister while you guys drag your feet to find our would be assassin?
Alex asked.
Oh my God, she'll drive us nuts,
Kenzie moaned.
We have good leads, it won't take us long,
Ivan assured her.
If you had good leads, you wouldn't be here,
Alex countered.
You'd be out tracking down the bastard,
Kenzie added.
Bastards,
I corrected. They had pulled a different slug from me than from her.
I had been lucky; the bullet had grazed my left lung going through my shoulder. A few inches lower and it would have pierced my heart. Alex and Kenzie had deemed our shooters incompetent. Both were also nearly fatally shot, but like me, a scar was all they would have to show for their wounds as well. Kenzie had been shot twice. The first went through her arm, hit a rib and stopped. It had lost too much momentum to deliver a fatal wound to the heart. The second had gone even wider, hitting her in the hip. Alex had been clipped in the head. The bullet grazed her skull and damaged her ear. Her hair was finally starting to grow back where it had been shaved, but the doctors insisted it be removed again. Alex had a reverse mohawk on the side of her head.
You don't even know if one of us was the specific target and the others were just in the way or if they meant to take out all three of us,
I said.
Yeah, Nadine was shot first, Alex was shot in the head, and I was the only one shot twice,
Kenzie said.
Ivan let out a long, deep sigh and balled his fists. He had tried very hard during the last week not to share any information with us. I was pretty sure I had seen him popping antacids more than usual. And every once in a while his face would suddenly turn bright red.
And what happens if it does take weeks? I'm supposed to visit a surgeon to reconstruct my ear in a few days. Nadine has breathing treatments and Kenzie has physical therapy,
Alex said. I watched Ivan's face go a mottled shade of red.
I give up!
He threw his hands up in a wildly animated gesture.
Have you had your blood pressure checked lately? It seems high,
I said as my brother took another antacid and a couple of Advil, dry swallowing both.
It is high!
Ivan shouted. Probably because I have a sister and two cousins being gunned down in parking lots and refusing protective custody.
We lived,
I said.
This time! What about next time?
Ivan was still shouting.
You're going to have a heart attack if you don't relieve some stress. Maybe you should have a 'spa day.'
Kenzie told him, get a nice massage, turn off your phone and pager, do the sauna, maybe take up golf.
This is not a joke,
Ivan said.
We know. I am currently hoping you don't blow a gasket in my living room. Mom would give me hell for it,
I answered.
Jesus Christ!
Ivan began pacing around the room like a caged animal.
Put an officer outside. I have six Great Danes and an ex-special forces husband. We'll be fine,
I assured him.
I hate your life,
Ivan sat down. His entire demeanor decomposed in front of us. He suddenly looked much older and very tired.
I thought it was getting better. I haven't been shot at in about four months,
I pointed out. And that was technically Zeke's fault.
This made Ivan smile. It only lasted a few seconds, but I imagined it was the most he had smiled in a week.
Fine, I will stick an officer here, but under one condition,
Ivan turned a sizzling glare on our cousins. Keep your noses out of it. Stay inside where the protection will be useful. No investigating. If I catch you investigating, I will not make protective custody optional.
How would we investigate? Nadine wheezes, Kenzie has trouble moving her arm, and I was shot in the head,
Alex answered.
Ivan gave her a look that said he didn't buy it, but stood up anyway. He gave us all one more glare before leaving.
Do we have any mutual enemies?
I asked, once I heard his car pull away.
All three of us? I don't think so. The IRA is mostly defunct and that would make Alex the collateral damage. But she was the only one shot in the head,
Kenzie said.
The Russians would make Kenzie the collateral,
Alex said.
Can we ascertain anything based on the wounds and order?
I pressed forward.
I think mine was meant to be a heart shot, but I surprised them when I crouched down,
Alex said.
Same here, I turned to find cover when they hit me,
Kenzie said.
They used crappy guns,
Alex added. None of them had the penetration to do the job. However, Ivan won't tell us the makes, just that more than one caliber of bullet was found.
Or they weren't loaded properly,
Kenzie offered.
Homemade bullets without enough powder?
I asked.
Well, I didn't break out in a rash or have a serious allergic reaction,
Kenzie answered. Kenzie was allergic to metals. The last few times she'd been shot, the bullets had caused anaphylactic shock.
Plastic bullets?
I asked, letting the doubt show in my voice.
I have a theory, but it is wildly ridiculous,
Alex said.
My husband makes me carry around a baggie full of pearls,
I reminded her.
Good point,
she grinned. Kenzie is allergic to magnetic metals, but she does fine with non-magnetic metals. What if the bullets were made of a non-magnetic metal?
Like what?
I asked.
Silver,
Kenzie answered.
Why would someone make silver bullets and shoot us with them?
I frowned at them.
I told you it was outrageous and ridiculous,
Alex slumped back into the couch where we were all sitting.
Once we had all left the hospital two days earlier, we had been together non-stop. The girls had even kicked Zeke into the spare room. However, he'd