Always Kiss Me Goodnight

Published by Evernight Teen ® at Smashwords

www.evernightteen.com

Copyright© 2015 Megan Gaudino

ISBN: 978-1-77233-470-8

Cover Artist: Jay Aheer

Editor: Jessica Ruth

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

WARNING: The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal. No part of this book may be used or reproduced electronically or in print without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in reviews.

This is a work of fiction. All names, characters, and places are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

DEDICATION

To Mom and Dad. I told you all that time on the internet would pay off. Thanks for always supporting me.

ALWAYS KISS ME GOODNIGHT

Megan Gaudino

Copyright © 2015

Chapter One

It took a few minutes for my eyes to adjust to the harsh fluorescent lights in the building. It had been so dark outside it almost still seemed like night. The windowless brick walls inside the school didn’t help, either, or maybe it was just my mood.

Because of the rain I’d tucked my journal, a birthday present from my younger brother, under my sweater, only pulling it out now to slide it into the locker. I’d seen enough movies to know bringing a diary of any kind to a high school was a bad idea, but the pages of mine only held my vivid dreams.

Along with the journal, I was gifted a puppy. He kept me awake, which wasn’t a problem three weeks ago when I didn’t have to catch a bus, but he was quickly becoming the love of my life. That was a whole other source of grumpiness.

As I pulled out my monster of a history book a single piece of notebook paper fluttered to the ground. When it landed I could see my name was scrawled across the top of the page in a painfully familiar script.

Did you find your note from Aiden yet?

The voice was close to my ear, unexpected, and made me jump. When I turned around Amelia had suddenly appeared at my locker. To answer my best friend’s question I bent down to pick up the piece of paper. My maroon-and-gray plaid uniform skirt pinched my sides as I bent over. I ignored the feeling.

How’d you know this was a note from Aiden? I asked, pointedly waving the paper.

Saw him slip it in there this morning just before you got here. You really should lock your locker.

Why are you both here so early?

Amelia’s eyes widened slightly. I just like to be early, it’s my thing, and Aiden had to get that note in your locker.

I looked down at the brief note in my hand and sighed. It only added to my increasingly bad mood.

So, what’s it say? Amelia asked while rocking up on her toes and slipping her thumbs into the band of her skirt to rest her palms on her hips. I bet her skirt from last year still fit.

Aiden had written the note so small and sloppily that I had to go over the words twice before being able to comprehend the message. It said:

I’m so sorry about everything. Sit with me at lunch today like old times. I really need to talk to you. Please. Love you, Aiden.

He’s sorry, I told her as I folded the paper and shoved it between the pages of my book. I couldn’t meet her eyes.

Oh. We already knew that. Hasn’t he told you how sorry he is every day since he—

Cutting her off before she could finish that thought, I said, Yeah, and sorry doesn’t change anything. I didn’t need to hear it out loud. I thought about it enough without having to physically hear her say it.

Pulling the note back out so I could read it again, I took a deep breath and tried to make sense of it. Amelia read it over my shoulder but I didn’t care. I would’ve let her see it if she had asked.

My eyes were fixated on the last line, so I could say it over and over again in my head. He didn’t have to sign it love you. He could’ve just written his name. Actually, he didn’t need to sign it at all. Who else would it have been from?

Don’t get mad when I say this, okay? I think you should sit with him. She patted my arm, then slung her backpack over her shoulder. If you’d just talk to him, you’d know how awful he feels.

"Does that mean you know how awful he feels?"

Yeah. He’s been going bananas without you and needed someone to talk to since you wouldn’t listen. Besides, Aiden Varner has the kindest soul—I’ve seen it. He’s practically tortured right now.

Her admission of going behind enemy lines to talk to Aiden made me clutch my book to my chest. Not only that, she sympathized with him. She hated to see him like that. He was practically tortured? What about me? I could feel the heat on my face, meaning my cheeks were probably a splotchy red, and knew the moisture would be making its way to my eyes.

Then, suddenly, I was saved by the glorious ringing of the bell. I grabbed my notebook and slammed my locker shut, wishing Amelia’s fingers were in it. Oblivious to my thoughts, she walked beside me down the hall even though her physics class was in the opposite direction.

Not that I think what he did is forgivable, but it’s getting to you too. You can’t hold on to all that anger.

Yeah, was all I felt like saying.

But, Amelia continued as we reached my classroom, I think you’re being entirely too hard on him. You have to forgive him. It’s giving you bad karma. She frowned and waved her hand over me as if she were swatting away flies.

I grabbed her bangle bracelet covered wrist to make her stop. Okay, okay. I’ll talk to him. Just go to class.

She smiled hugely at me, causing her green eyes to squint. Your color’s already starting to look better.

Thanks, I guess.

Amelia turned and ran to the opposite end of the school. Despite her small frame, the weight of her backpack as it jostled on her shoulders didn’t seem to be slowing her down. I waited for the late bell to ring, hoping she would make it on time.

Somehow, I managed to snag my favorite seat in every class—far back corner, next to the window. As I was settling into the little desk I pulled out my notebook and got ready for a mindless period of note-taking. There was something extremely appealing about disappearing into the world of history, but as soon as the bell rang I was yanked out again. My classmates raced to the door while I slowly gathered my pencils before leaving.

The halls created a kind of anxiety for me, so I tried to avoid them as much as possible by running from class to class without stopping at my locker. In my mind I was a secret spy; in reality I was a scaredy-cat. Before I could make a mad dash to English Lit, the twins, Jill and Joann Johnson, cornered me and ruined my plans.

You all right? Joann asked with a sympathetic tone.

You look amaze, Jill added without waiting for me to answer.

Yeah, I’m fine. And thanks…I think. Even though I considered the twins my good friends they were the biggest gossips in the school.

We heard about the note. Do you wanna talk about it? Jill asked.

I’ve been freezing him out all week anyway, Joann folded her arms across her chest, even though I don’t know why. She narrowed her eyes at me.

I bet I could get one of the senior guys to beat Varner up. Jill’s eyes became alive at the possible excitement.

Combined the identical twins probably weighed two hundred pounds and standing on each other’s shoulders they’d be just about ten feet tall. Their shoulder-length copper hair bounced whenever they moved, and they bore a striking resemblance to pixies. Yet, they were two of the scariest girls in school.

Chill, really you don’t have to do that.

"We want to," they answered in spine-chilling unison.

"Really, I don’t want anyone beating him up. I don’t hate him…" No matter how hard I try to. I’m sitting with him at lunch today.

They stared at me with identical open-mouthed expressions. I had just given them a juicy tidbit into the little-known saga of Sophia and Aiden. Because of my tight-lipped tendencies, I knew the twins were dying to figure out why we were rarely seen together anymore.

Oh, they both chimed as they ran off with the new information.

Since I’d already had an unwanted encounter in the hall, I made the trip to my locker to dump books and get my journal. The leather smell that filled the tiny space comforted me. However, the folded note peeking from the pages of my book did not. I quickly pulled it out and read it a few more times, finding it necessary to torture myself.

While trudging to study hall with my head down I was having a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that in a mere forty-five minutes I was going to be sitting next to Aiden in the cafeteria.

When I opened the journal a few minutes later, I winched at the ruined page that resulted from me trying to write on the bus but then got an idea. The line was scratched right down the middle. If I wrote along the sides of the page I could play it off as a design. The dream I wanted to record was kind of dark anyway. The line seemed fitting almost.

I uncapped my black pen and began to jot down everything I could remember. The first thing I recalled was the puppy being a main focus in the dream. I sifted through the details, trying to find anything that stuck out for a possible name for the little guy.

The reason why he didn’t have a name, after almost a month, was because nothing seemed special enough. My mom warned that he’d never respond to anything if I didn’t just pick something soon but I didn’t fall for it. Shelter dogs learn to respond to new names after longer.

What I did remember from the dream was being outside running with a bright light blinding my eyes. It wasn’t high in the sky like the sun would be but much lower and moving rapidly toward me. It was a huge contrast to the rest of the scenes I saw. Everything else seemed dark, gray and black, swirling around me like a tornado.

Even though I was with the puppy and outside, we weren’t playing. I was scared and running toward him or maybe after him. The last thing I remembered was a high-pitched screeching noise. It sounded very familiar and common, but I was having a hard time placing it. Then there was nothing. The dream went totally black.

A shudder rolled through my body after I had written everything I remembered. I felt queasy and tired at the same time. I wiped the back of my hand across my forehead in an attempt to get rid of some of the perspiration that had popped up there.

My temperature was rising, leaving my skin hot—burning hot. Without drawing too much attention to myself I got up to open the window next to me. It slid effortlessly open and a cool breeze instantly burst through the screen. Not caring how crazy I looked, I leaned as far forward as I could and practically smooshed my face against the screen.

I took three deep breaths and started to feel better when I noticed something outside smelled magnificent. The rain had stopped and the sun was shining, but the aroma smelled just like rain with something else mixed with it. Like a fresh bar of soap right out of the box.

The school, which sat on top of one of the highest points in Fresh Springs, had the loveliest grounds even when doused in rain. But I was most certainly not smelling a flower. I turned around to face the class of sleeping or studying students. The intoxicating aroma lingered but not as strongly. It was definitely coming from outside. Relieved no one was paying any attention to me, I turned back to the window and scanned the trees again, not sure what I was looking for. Then, among the greens and browns of the dense woods, I saw a low-hanging branch just a few feet away from where I stood sway back and forth.

My gaze darted to the movement just in time to see someone, a guy, retreating into the woods. He wore a white shirt, but it didn’t look like my white uniform shirt, and black pants with a tarnished gold belt. His unruly flaxen hair danced in the breeze behind him.

I stared after him until his form completely disappeared; even the enchanting smell was gone. Without catching a better look at him I had no idea who he could’ve been.

The bell rang, releasing me from study hall, but I didn’t move. The classroom emptied, but I felt compelled to stay at the window. I wanted to see him again and, even weirder, I wanted that smell again.

There ya are! Amelia said, standing in the doorway. Come on, let’s go. The lunch line will be full of freshmen.

I shook my head, breaking the almost trance-like state I was in. Coming, I called to her.

As we walked to lunch Amelia prattled on about the weird tarot reading she had done that morning. It took a ridiculous amount of effort to pretend I was listening. And just as she predicted the lunch line was already long. But when we finally got to the front of the line I grabbed the first thing I saw and quickly paid for it.

It was a piece of pizza but it didn’t matter. I was entirely too nervous to eat anything because as soon as we cleared the line I spotted Aiden sitting alone at a table in the corner.

Okay, I’ll be right over there if you need me. She gestured with her elbow to the round table in the middle of the room, where we’d been sitting the past week. This is a good thing and you’ll be fine. She smiled reassuringly.

Good thing Aiden was sitting with his back to me, because I took such a long pause Amelia was already sitting down with the twins before I made the first move toward the table. Aiden had his arms stretched across the backs of the chairs on either side of him, making him seem long and lean. The completely ordinary high school cafeteria suddenly transformed into my nightmare—being face to face with Aiden again.

Why was I so afraid? It was just Aiden and he couldn’t possibly hurt me more than he already had. I had known him since the fifth grade and I did know how sorry he was. Besides, I was in the mood to hear more apologizing. I was in the mood to hear him, period. I missed him so much. Taking a deep breath, I made myself just do it. I walked quickly to the corner table and put my tray down next to Aiden’s.

Chapter Two

I guess you found my note, he said quietly.

I nodded.

I would’ve bought your lunch for you if you told me you were eating with me. His guitar took up only one other seat at the empty table and I wondered what he told his friends to keep it that way.

You don’t have to do that. I still couldn’t look at him.

Aiden cleared his throat and shifted in his seat. His fingers strummed nonexistent guitar strings while I sat there hating the tension between us. I knew how to make the awkwardness go away. All I had to do was forgive him and my life would go back to normal. That thought was so tempting the words almost escaped from my mouth to run to his ear.

You should’ve kept your birthday present. I haven’t missed one since you turned eleven.

I could recall every present he gave me over the past six years. A teddy bear for my eleventh, a diary for my twelfth, a blanket for my thirteenth, a scrapbook for my fourteenth, a bracelet for my fifteenth, and my personal favorite from last year: Mr. Bubbles the betta fish.

"It’s a good thing your present isn’t a Mrs. Bubbles. She would’ve suffocated in that unopened box."

I laughed at his dark little joke and finally met his gaze without thinking to stop myself. His gray-blue eyes sparkled in response to his laughter and the delight I felt while looking into his smiling eyes was reflected back to me in his face. It wasn’t a good idea to look at him.

He had cut his sandy hair short since the last time I actually looked at him and it suited him well. While most of the student body still held tans from the summer, Aiden’s skin remained smoothly pale and like me his uniform shirt seemed a bit snug. It made him look muscular, though.

I miss your laugh, he said with a sigh. Actually, I miss everything about you. When I didn’t answer we both became interested in our food. Did you get anything good for your birthday? he asked while still chewing.

Yeah, I did. My parents finally caved and bought me a puppy. My voice automatically softened at the mention of my puppy.

No way. Sophia, that’s great! What kind is it?

What kind was it? Um, I had no idea. He was a puppy and someday he would be a full-grown dog. Obviously I knew there were big dogs and little dogs, but I never considered that my puppy would one day grow into one.

I dunno, I finally admitted. Aiden laughed a deep chuckle and shook his head.

Okay well, what did you name it?

The wood grain table became very interesting in that moment while I chewed the inside of my cheek. I didn’t name him yet. I said it quick, like pulling off a Band-Aid.

The laughter that erupted from Aiden’s chest hurt my ears.

Sophia, he gasped out between laughs, you’ve had him for over three weeks, you don’t know what breed he is, and he doesn’t have a name?

All those things are true, but I’m naming him this weekend, I lied. I could’ve put off naming him forever. If anything, I was good at being a procrastinator.

I think that’s what I love most about you. You do everything on your own time.

There was the L word again. He insisted on saying it for some unfathomable reason. I’d blatantly ignored him for the past month. What made him think I wanted to hear that he loved me?

How’s senior year going so far? I decided to act like he’d never said it.

Well, it’s too early to tell if my classes are going to be harder than last year and I still don’t know what I’m doing next year, but none of that would matter if my girlfriend would talk to me more often. He smiled a half grin at me that used to make me see more colors than were on the spectrum and lightly elbowed me in the arm.

Right, I was reminded we’d never actually broken up. Instead of