The Single Christian:Your Sassy Saved Single Girl's Guide to Sex, Dating and Relationships
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About this ebook
This fully updated Kindle version of The Sassy Saved Single Girl Dating and Relationship series is finally complete and ready for your consumption! More Sassy, Saved, Humorous content...including new stories and wild anecdotes.
This eBook contains re-written versions of Volume 1, Volume 2 and the BRAND NEW Volume 3. This book shares the lesson’s I have learned with a little grace, tact and a teeny bit of irreverence. I will tell some stories that will blow your mind! One of my goals is to encourage you to learn from my mistakes and grasp new ways of looking at things! Overall my biggest goal is to encourage you to fall in love with God! That’s the point of everything I say! If you can fall in love with Him first...the husband, big house, nice car, babies and whatever else you desire will fall right into place. Put Him first and you will never go wrong.
So girls, tighten up those Sassy stilettos straps...it’s going to be bumpy ride!
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The Single Christian:Your Sassy Saved Single Girl's Guide to Sex, Dating and Relationships - Loria Hubbard
The Single Christian:
Your Sassy Saved Single Girl’s Guide to Sex, Dating & Relationships
A book of encouragement, life lessons and pure humor.
LORIA-DIONNE HUBBARD
~~~
Smashwords Edition
http://www.savedsinglegirlsguide.com
https://www.facebook.com/sassysavedsinglegirl
http://www.sassysavedgirl.myitworks.com
http://www.youtube.com/user/savedsinglegirlsguid
Copyright © 2015 All Rights Reserved
This book contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. Unauthorized duplication or distribution of this material in any form is strictly prohibited.
Smashwords Edition, License Notes
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite ebook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
Table of Contents
Introduction
The Ultimate Man Wish List
The Gap Filler
You Have 3 New Matches
Why Buy The Cow?
The Other Woman
He’s Not My Real Daddy…He’s Just My Sugar Daddy
Keep Your Virtue…My Plea to the Smart Sassy Young Women (Interlude)
False Alarm
The 2011 NFL Draft
Fall for Him First
Save the Drama for Your Momma
Serial Daters
The Big Fat O
Not Every Woman Can Have a Big Ol’ Booty
Look Out for the Red Flag
Saved Men Don’t Have Sex
I Do!
To Love You More
Let’s Talk About Sex…Again
You Have Three New Matches Pt. 2
Who God Says I Am (Interlude)
The Real Reason People Get Married
Conclusion
Calling All Sassy Saved Single Girls!
About the Author
Introduction
It doesn’t feel like it, but it’s been two years that I’ve been working on my book. It’s amazing how God allows things to happen in your life that may influence someone else’s. I never thought I would be the Sassy, Single, Saved Girl that I am…at the age that I am! It would take a good looking man to pinch my butt cheeks to help me realize that I’m thirty, not married, yet in the sexual prime of my life. Theoretically I could be somewhere clawing off the clothes of the hottest man that walks by. I always thought I’d be married by the time I was nineteen…that dream…unrealized…is eleven years past due! BUT I recognize that my life is not for me. My life is meant to impact the women that God has placed in my life. I’ve always loved to encourage people and motivate them. And I love to talk so that’s a winning combination. I know that people look at me and don’t expect that I’ve experienced so much in my life. Growing up in church and later becoming a PK (pastor’s kid) has painted the picture that I’m perfect…I’m not! Now…this is a good time to throw out my disclaimer! I will tell some stories throughout this book that will blow your mind! I’m not trying to brag, boast, glorify the devil or even air my dirty laundry. But I know what I’ve been through…and I know what others in my life have been through. I also know that lessons learned from our experiences will help someone else. As a PK, people have the assumption that my life is Jesus, Jesus, Jesus 24/7-365! Or they assume that I’m a freak under cover. I’m sure you’ve heard people make reference to church girls being the freakiest women but knowing how to hide it. I won’t confirm or deny that assumption at this time; but I will say the things I’ve experienced and learned in my life have been good, bad, really good, really bad, beyond believable and breathtaking. This book shares the lesson’s I’ve learned with a little grace, tact and a teeny bit of irreverence. Overall my biggest goal is to encourage you to fall in love with God! That’s the point of everything I say! If you can fall in love with Him first…the husband, big house, nice car, babies and whatever else you desire will fall right into place. Put Him first and you will never go wrong. So girls, tighten up those Sassy stilettos straps…it’s going to be bumpy ride!
The Ultimate Man Wish List
Writing the ultimate man wish list…so what woman hasn’t done this?! I imagine that sometime in every woman’s life she sits down and drafts a wish list enumerating all the qualities of her dream man. Now…maybe she was only thirteen years old when she did it, but even a woman in the prime of her adult life should be able to admit she’s taken part in this nearly shameful activity. I mean, she at least had a list in her head even if she never actually put her thoughts on paper. Now, if you know of such a woman who has NOT done this, please drop me a line about this special lady. I’d love to meet her! But back to my story and confession, I have unyieldingly and methodically created three….ahem I mean four wish lists in my lifetime. The unfortunate part is I’ve had to do it four times. But don’t get it twisted; there’s no shame in my game! The last ultimate man wish list was written days before I started writing this chapter. I’m no different from the average woman. We write lists for everything! We make lists about what we need to pick up at the grocery store. We create wish lists on websites like Amazon or our favorite shoe retailer. We create lists of things that need to be accomplished in the days to come; all kinds of lists to help us stay organized, heck…there’s even a whole website devoted to pinning various tidbits of information to a wish list or board! So ladies if we can compose so many lists about everything else why then would it be thought of as strange to compile a man
wish list…seriously? Furthermore, why do we believe it’s such a bad thing? If we can construct the ultimate ‘to do’ list, even pair it with an alarm on our phones. Why not take the time to visualize and transcribe on paper the man we wish to spend the rest of our lives with?! My very first ultimate man wish list was created eight or nine years ago, probably closer to nine years by now because time flies so quickly. This wish list enumerated and described every quality my perfect boyfriend had. I wrote down everything, from his height to his shoe size. I remember sitting down at my Grammy’s cream colored kitchen table and writing out things I didn’t even know I wanted from a man. I wrote everything down…I mean everything this ‘perfect’ boyfriend would possess. During that time in my life, I like most women, was going through the typical dating cycles. I had only been back in Ohio for about a year after completing my first year of college in Norfolk, Virginia. That was a crazy experience in itself, but I’ll save that for another book! Anyhow, I was going through some pretty baffling times with guys and was truly sick of what I was putting myself through. I’ve never been the type of woman to just put up with something just to say I had it. So I wasn’t just going to put up with a basic, meaningless relationship just to say I was in one or just to say I had a man. (I know plenty of women and men who would rather deal with BS than be alone. I’ll also address that in a different chapter). So…for me; not settling for a meaningless, lifeless relationship meant cutting everyone off! Whether he was an acquaintance, associate, friend of a friend, friend with benefits, old pal, whatever….he was met with the hatchet. That can be easier said than done and the hardest thing for me to do was stop answering my phone. I was so fearful about explaining the changes I was making in my life, so I installed Mr. Number. Oh boy, Mr. Number was a Godsend. After downloading the free app on my phone I let him do all the work! For you ladies who are not acquainted with Mr. Number, he happily blocks calls by either ‘Hanging up’ or ‘Sending calls to voicemail’. The wonderful thing about this app is you can decide to be notified of the call or choose to never know who or when they called. So with the help of Mr. Number,
slowly but surely all my baggage was gone and my focus was back to where it should have been. I was now free to write out my heart’s desire. And through that freedom my first ultimate man wish list was born! And in less than two weeks, I met the man my pencil and paper created. What makes this situation so funny is my mom actually introduced me to him. Normally that would have been a cue for me to run the other way. I can’t see myself wanting to be with a guy my mother picked! Funny right! Well, he had every single quality I had wished for on that list. The height, skin color, talent, interests, shoe size and he could sang. I have to tell you, when I first met him I didn’t know right off he was the answer to my ultimate man wish list. The only reason I even met him was he was starting a choir in our city and my mom decided to join. Of course that meant she had to drag me along too. He had just moved to the area as he was attending the University not far from my apartment. I met him at the first rehearsal and at first glance he was a cutie…although I never thought about him in any way other than the choir director. After just a few weeks of knowing him, ‘Isaac’ made several attempts to get me to go to dinner before I finally gave in and accepted. My wish list creation and I dated just shy of two years! I consider our relationship one of the best I’ve ever had. Looking back on things now I realize at that time in my life he was what I needed. God made it so our paths would cross and as a result my life went in a different direction. A good direction that is still impacting me to this day! Because of him I was introduced to some integral people and end up attending the University I graduated from and now work for! Knowing him not only had a great influence on our two years together but now a total of seven or eight! Now…my second list is the one I believe to be the real McCoy. This list was the end all, be all of lists. Over four years ago I wrote, sealed and tucked away that ground-breaking ultimate man wish list. I am proud but somewhat embarrassed to admit it was another detailed, carefully crafted list. However, I did not get too crazy this time; I could’ve written a three or four page manifesto but I opted not to do that. Instead I wrote out only the key features my future husband should have. Of course I mentioned his physical appearance, type of job, important character traits and religious beliefs. Now ladies remember this is a couple years after the first list, so I was trippin’ over the fact that I was still a Sassy Saved Single Girl. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with being single but I did not want to be the single gal forever. As I said before, I always thought I’d be married by the time I was nineteen. My mom had my sister Daria and I in her early twenties and I wanted to have my kids young too! It felt like we grew up with our mom. We always went to places like expos, waterparks and the best time we had was at Disney World. My mom would have just as much fun as we did! I wanted to have that experience with my offspring! I didn’t want to be the oldest mother on the block. But I digress, back to my list. I bet many of you ladies are probably wondering why I even wrote those lists to begin with, but just follow me a little longer…all will be revealed. Now…I wasn’t happy that I was still fighting the battle as a single woman. Writing my ultimate man wish list gave me hope that soon my perfect husband would appear. In fact, it so encouraged me that all my thoughts revolved around marriage and my perfect husband. Literally, every thought! I can now say I actually began to obsess about it. Being single…and not married really worried me. I felt my time was running out. I guess I can toot my own horn and say I did a very good job of hiding my true feelings. On the surface level I looked good, but on the inside, that part of us that only our Heavenly Father can see…I was a mess. I’ll probably say this a hundred times, but I’ve always enjoyed my own company and for the most part played the single girl role to a ‘T.’ But my thought life was completely consumed with when and where my perfect husband was. I can recall having countless weird conversations with myself when random, gorgeous, dark skinned men passed by. Obsessed…huh!? After almost three years with no men on the horizon I decided to pull out the list and read what I still did not have. I still was not married and was not even dating! I couldn’t believe I was still in that situation. During that time, God was doing some phenomenal things in my family’s life. Opening up scripture and bringing enlightenment through different ministries. He really began to bless us, my parent’s ministry and our church. It seemed everyone was being blessed except me; I couldn’t help but question God. Why was I still alone?! Everyone had someone…and then there was me. I felt so defeated! All my list making seemed like such a waste of time. For a solid year I waited for my ultimate man wish list to produce a man. And what hurt more was this was the ‘special’ list that we had sealed and tucked away…awaiting God’s delivery! Years prior to the creation of this special list, my sister and I decided we were going to write down everything we wanted our ‘perfect’ husband to have. Once we completed these hopeful lists we sealed them and came together and prayed on behalf of our ‘special’ wish lists. We prayed and believed that God would bring these men into our lives. After my sister and I prayed we handed those lists over to my mom. Where she kept them I don’t know. I never saw that list again until almost five years later. The delivery of my ‘perfect husband’ never happened or should I say I’m still waiting for it to happen! After recovering the sealed list that I later found my mom had tucked away in her desk. I remember bringing it home and ripping it to shreds. Crying the whole time as I tossed this end-all-be-all ultimate man wish list into the garbage! At that point I knew I would never do another list…yet…on to the third one. Towards the end of 2010 I started playing around with the idea of creating a new ultimate man wish list. I was making some career changes in my life. I had just started my real estate business, which by the way God was really blessing. I was looking and feeling good. So I figured why not conjure up a man!? And back to the infamous ultimate man wish list I went. And like always, I started scribbling all the qualities my dream husband possessed. I noticed that this list wasn’t as extensive as the first two but it still was a force to be reckoned with. In fact, during that time I was vlogging on YouTube and used the list as the backdrop for one of my videos. You can see the life-sized list hanging behind me. I wrote it on a piece of paper the full length of my bedroom door! How’s that for determination?! And ladies, it wasn’t long after writing this list that I met the ultimate man wish list creation #3! At first it seemed we were just going to be very good friends, but quickly things began to change between us. We started having all the serious conversations that well established couples were having…marriage, kids, etc. And after a couple months of nearly dating we decided to take the plunge and see where things would go. So many times I