Lust: & Other Stories
By Susan Minot
4/5
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About this ebook
Twelve stories of women caught in the emotional turbulence of romance in Manhattan For the twelve narrators of Susan Minot’s breathtaking collection—artists and lawyers, teenagers and thirty-somethings—love in New York doesn’t come easy. And as they struggle to reconcile their yearnings for romance with their needs for independence, they face resistance to emotional commitment at every turn. In intense snapshots of these women’s most intimate moments, Minot brings to life their dreams and disappointments, hopes and heartbreaks, and highlights the emotional fissures that divide women and men. This ebook features a new illustrated biography of Susan Minot, including artwork by the author and rare documents and photos from her personal collection.
Susan Minot
Susan Minot is an award-winning novelist and short story writer. She is the author of Monkeys, Folly, Lust & Other Stories, Poems 4 A. M., Rapture, and Evening, which was adapted into the feature film of the same name, starring Meryl Streep. Minot also wrote the screenplay of Bernardo Bertolucci’s Stealing Beauty. Her most recent book is Thirty Girls. Minot was born in Boston and currently lives with her daughter, dividing her time between New York City, where she teaches, and an island off the coast of Maine.
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Lust - Susan Minot
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Lust
& Other Stories
Susan Minot
For Davis
Ah, I have asked too much, I plainly see.
OVID
The Loves
Contents
squre.gifONE
Lust
Sparks
Blow
City Night
squre.gifTWO
Lunch with Harry
The Break-up
The Swan in the Garden
The Feather in the Toque
squre.gifTHREE
The Knot
A Thrilling Life
Île Sèche
The Man Who Would Not Go Away
A Biography of Susan Minot
ONE
Lust
LEO WAS FROM a long time ago, the first one I ever saw nude. In the spring before the Hellmans filled their pool, we’d go down there in the deep end, with baby oil, and like that. I met him the first month away at boarding school. He had a halo from the campus light behind him. I flipped.
Roger was fast. In his illegal car, we drove to the reservoir, the radio blaring, talking fast, fast, fast. He was always going for my zipper. He got kicked out sophomore year.
By the time the band got around to playing Wild Horses,
I had tasted Bruce’s tongue. We were clicking in the shadows on the other side of the amplifier, out of Mrs. Donovan’s line of vision. It tasted like salt, with my neck bent back, because we had been dancing so hard before.
Tim’s line: I’d like to see you in a bathing suit.
I knew it was his line when he said the exact same thing to Annie Hines.
You’d go on walks to get off campus. It was raining like hell, my sweater as sopped as a wet sheep. Tim pinned me to a tree, the woods light brown and dark brown, a white house half hidden with the lights already on. The water was as loud as a crowd hissing. He made certain comments about my forehead, about my cheeks.
We started off sitting at one end of the couch and then our feet were squished against the armrest and then he went over to turn off the TV and came back after he had taken off his shirt and then we slid onto the floor and he got up again to close the door, then came back to me, a body waiting on the rug.
You’d try to wipe off the table or to do the dishes and Willie would untuck your shirt and get his hands up under in front, standing behind you, making puffy noises in your ear.
He likes it when I wash my hair. He covers his face with it and if I start to say something, he goes, Shush.
For a long time, I had Philip on the brain. The less they noticed you, the more you got them on the brain.
My parents had no idea. Parents never really know what’s going on, especially when you’re away at school most of the time. If she met them, my mother might say, Oliver seems nice
or I like that one
without much of an opinion. If she didn’t like them, He’s a funny fellow, isn’t he?
or Johnny’s perfectly nice but a drink of water.
My father was too shy to talk to them at all unless they played sports and he’d ask them about that.
The sand was almost cold underneath because the sun was long gone. Eben piled a mound over my feet, patting around my ankles, the ghostly surf rumbling behind him in the dark. He was the first person I ever knew who died, later that summer, in a car crash. I thought about it for a long time.
Come here,
he says on the porch.
I go over to the hammock and he takes my wrist with two fingers.
What?
He kisses my palm then directs my hand to his fly.
Songs went with whichever boy it was. Sugar Magnolia
was Tim, with the line Rolling in the rushes / down by the riverside.
With Darkness Darkness,
I’d picture Philip with his long hair. Hearing Under My Thumb
there’d be the smell of Jamie’s suede jacket.
We hid in the listening rooms during study hall. With a record cover over the door’s window, the teacher on duty couldn’t look in. I came out flushed and heady and back at the dorm was surprised how red my lips were in the mirror.
One weekend at Simon’s brother’s, we stayed inside all day with the shades down, in bed, then went out to Store 24 to get some ice cream. He stood at the magazine rack and read through MAD while I got butterscotch sauce, craving something sweet.
I could do some things well. Some things I was good at, like math or painting or even sports, but the second a boy put his arm around me, I forgot about wanting to do anything else, which felt like a relief at first until it became like sinking into a muck.
It was different for a girl.
When we were little, the brothers next door tied up our ankles. They held the door of the goat house and wouldn’t let us out till we showed them our underpants. Then they’d forget about being after us and when we played whiffle ball, I’d be just as good as they were.
Then it got to be different. Just because you have on a short skirt, they yell from the cars, slowing down for a while, and if you don’t look, they screech off and call you a bitch.
What’s the matter with me?
they say, point-blank.
Or else, Why won’t you go out with me? I’m not asking you to get married,
about to get mad.
Or it’d be, trying to be reasonable, in a regular voice, Listen, I just want to have a good time.
So I’d go because I couldn’t think of something to say back that wouldn’t be obvious, and if you go out with them, you sort of have to do something.
I sat between Mack and Eddie in the front seat of the pickup. They were having a fight about something. I’ve a feeling about me.
Certain nights you’d feel a certain surrender, maybe if you’d had wine. The surrender would be forgetting yourself and you’d put your nose to his neck and feel like a squirrel, safe, at rest, in a restful dream. But then you’d start to slip from that and the dark would come in and there’d be a cave. You make out the dim shape of the windows and feel yourself become a cave, filled absolutely with air, or with a sadness that wouldn’t stop.
Teenage years. You know just what you’re doing and don’t see the things that start to get in the way.
Lots of boys, but never two at the same time. One was plenty to keep you in a state. You’d start to see a boy and something would rush over you like a fast storm cloud and you couldn’t possibly think of anyone else. Boys took it differently. Their eyes perked up at any little number that walked by. You’d act like you weren’t noticing.
The joke was that the school doctor gave out the pill like aspirin. He didn’t ask you anything. I was