Family of Earth: A Southern Mountain Childhood
By Wilma Dykeman and Robert Morgan
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About this ebook
Wilma Dykeman
Wilma Dykeman (1920-2006) was a novelist, historian, journalist, educator, speaker, and environmentalist who pioneered in the areas of water pollution, civil rights, oral history, Appalachian Studies, and the empowerment of women.
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Family of Earth - Wilma Dykeman
Introduction
THERE WERE ALWAYS THOSE among us who loved life and knew it, who were never satiated by any of its simple duties or routine demands. But most of us forgot what life was until now, when war and death have come close to us and, in the tradition of Mephistopheles, asked us to sign away that trifle, life.
We awaken, we look about us—we listen to the musical thrush of life all around, we breathe, we taste, and suddenly we know that life was always within us, here inside and encompassing our every step. Suddenly, too, our loneliness has been thrust into our consciousness, and we realize that in this final imperative challenge we are each alone to answer as we will and can. What my mother and father would do, I know. But what we will do is something more complex. Do we find enough of the still woods, the remote stars, the long solitudes, within our souls to accept this loneliness and grow toward death as inevitably as the water before my house runs to the lake where it will merge into a whole and at last be still?
Perhaps some will believe that this book is of no contemporary moment, that it does not deal directly with the situation
which is at hand. But the earth is with us always and we are one family upon it. It is peace upon this earth for which we fight—good peace; it is life upon this earth for which we die—full life. It is what our peace and life have meant to us in yesterday that will enable us to fight and die today.
Perhaps, too, I can hope that this book will mean more than yesterday or today, something also of tomorrow. And if to any it appears presumptuous to write a book about one’s life, especially when that life has been so unimportant, then all I can answer is this: first, it is the only life I know intimately enough to write about and say what I would say; and second, every life, no matter how inconsequential in the tide of nationalities, has overtones of the universal and themes which are common to all men and all nature.
For each of us, there is a time that comes in our lives when we can look at the past and at the future and see them briefly, in sharp outline against the momentary pattern. This time is swift, and sudden and unexpected. It simply says, softly and unmistakably, Now you are no longer a boy or a girl; you are grown. A man or woman.
Then the second has gone, and the realization remembered has only whispered itself to you.
The world has changed. Or, perhaps more truly stated, you have changed toward the world. The perspective has shifted. The uncertain, unsteady birth pangs of a new phase of living grasp the mind, and everything learned must be relearned, everything stated must be restated.
This moment came for me after my father’s death. There was a funeral, which I disremember. Then my mother left for New York with his body, for that was where he was buried. We stood in the railway station and waited for the train to leave. I could see mother’s face in the square little opening of glass. She looked so unlike what she had ever been before that I could almost feel I did not know her. Her face was white with a pallid unhealthy whiteness that made her brown eyes appear over-large and strangely wounded, like the hurt eyes of some small stabbed animal which cannot understand its persecutor. It twisted my heart to see her face there in the window looking so.
With a great puff of steam and a screaming lurch of cars and brakes and engine, the train began to move. With a sickening sorrow, regret engulfed me; engulfed me for the words unsaid, the things undone, the moments only half completed. If time and the train could have stood for only a breath, only a space just wide enough to catch some of the raveled edges, some of the dangling threads. But the train did not stop. It gathered speed. Now the window was gone from sight, and already the engine was rounding the curve ahead. Like a rolling earthworm, the cars followed behind, roaring down the tracks, heading toward other places and other people. Around the curve they went and disappeared from sight.
The air was noticeably silent after the roll of sound. Even the paper boy was peddling his news without the shouted jargon of a minute ago. People hurried out of the station, bound for home and business. The rain dripped off the shed-like roof of the outer platform, and was quite visible, now that the train had gone. With steady precision the drops gathered, then fell with little puddling splashes.
I was quite alone. There were people there, some of my family, some of our friends. But I was alone—with the rain and the silent station and the quick preoccupied strangers. I knew that life would never be the same again, and vaguely I sensed that I would never be the same. (Oh, the mind is capable of quite dramatic realizations during these intensified moments of existence.) One of the props which I had depended on was gone, and from now on I would stand at least half-alone. There was responsibility too, and I had already begun to taste of that; and there would be thought of money, and the place, and all the new-found burdens which my mother would assume.
It was true. From that day on, I sensed responsibilities never explicitly given me. I learned of practicality. I learned something of the variability of people. With my father’s death, there came a shift in many attitudes of friends, of even family. I would scarcely have guessed that such a shift were possible. In short, I exchanged many young illusions for disillusion, and perhaps gained new, more bitter, deceptions in the bargain. I found less time for dreaming over a crawfish in the pond, less time for hunting where a lady slipper grew.
So it was we left our childhood and the peace that was a part of it. Now we had grown into a problematical world where answers were few and the truth was seldom unalloyed. We were our own questioners and the only source of answers to those questions. We looked and saw the rain along the dingy roof tops, saw the rain falling in the soot-filled apron of the city, and could hear the whistle far away of the train which bore our father and our mother.
THE TRUTH of the planets rolling through space with that mathematical precision which seems at once so accidental and so planned, is to me no more glorious or awful than the truth of two human beings born in different times and distant places, following through their life a pattern at once so accidental and so planned that in its course of unbelievable days and events they shall meet somewhere, somehow, and know one another. The mystery of how many thousands of years in the past, the tales of how many millions of people gone, will enter into the retelling of a tale as old and unique as life itself?
So it came about, by accident or plan, that in the eighteenth century while a Dutch settler was founding his home and raising his family in the then outskirts of a city called New Amsterdam, a Scotch-Irish wanderer in the Southern Appalachians had begun a family whose rambles were to carry them over the entire region of mountains where they were to build their homes. The Dutch family grew strong and worthy. They contributed a captain to the Revolution; they entered into the politics of a state which was to become a leader of the Union. They did not hurry to the wealth which was then so easy for the opportunist, but lived near the land, knowing the roots of their strength. Down in the mountains, the Scotch-Irish settled themselves and sang their ballads, built what they needed and grew what they ate, felt the seasons and humors of nature and waxed philosophical and humorous.
And in 1859, when there were yet only thirty-three states in the Union, when the land from Iowa to Oregon, from Missouri to California, was only a vast unsettled territory, and when men sat around their fireplaces and discussed the coming election of 1860, which was to be one of the most momentous in all history—between a lawyer named Lincoln and an orator named Douglas—a boy was born in a frame farmhouse in New York’s Putnam County. He was named Willard Jerome Dykeman. Two years after his birth, his state was at war with the section which would someday be his home.
Thirty-seven years later, in 1896, when men were discussing an election which was one of the most spectacular in all our history—between McKinley from Ohio and Bryan from Nebraska—a girl was born in the mountains of North Carolina. She was named Bonnie Ballard Cole. Two years after her birth, her uncles who were of age left for service in the Spanish-American War.
But before the girl was ever born, Willard Dykeman had gone to North Carolina. In the wander-hunger of youth he had spent a lonely year herding sheep with a mountain for his range and a small town named Asheville for his guide. What things did a young man far from home, isolated with the wind and mountains and sheep, think on? What did he find, being nineteen and with a country wide before him, to make him return home and build a life and family there? For return he did. In New York, he married and farmed and raised two children. Then that cycle of his life ended. His wife was dead, his farm work well done and no desire for more money, his children grown. And so again, he came to the mountains. Again he rested near Asheville—this time in the valley lying at the foot of the mountain where he had stayed when he was nineteen and the world was open before him.
This was when the long-begun cycle completed itself—when the Dutch and the Scotch-Irish, the North and the South, the mountains and the fertile farmlands—fateful opposite that each was, met and knew one another. For strange and peculiar polestar it was that led Willard Dykeman and Bonnie Cole to meet in this time and bring to their union the religion of nature and the philosophy of loneliness.
THE HOUSE my father and mother built soon after they were married, in which I was born, and where we lived until I was six years old, was a log house sitting back from the road among thick pines. The creek for which the valley was named, Beaverdam, ran in front of it. It was a comfortable picturesque house, with a long porch running along the front and the length of one whole side. In front of the side entrance stood three dogwoods, beautiful in the spring, and at the front entrance stood pines, beautiful in the winter. The steps to the house were great wide stones, showing the mark of my father’s drill, where he had been forced to cut them away from the parent boulder. Directly behind the house, and built into the side of a bank, was a cellar. There was a heavy door to the cellar and a carved latch which my father had made himself. Standing in the cellar, there was the damp cool feel of earth and the odor of broken roots mingling with the odors of apples and vegetables and cured meat. To me, this was a dark mysterious place, as cavernous and inestimable as all the belly hunger of