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    Fangs Rule
    Fangs Rule
    Fangs Rule
    Ebook110 pages48 minutes

    Fangs Rule

    By Amy Mah

    4/5

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    About this ebook

    A very funny self-help guide by Amy Mah (Vampire) for teenage vampire girls, the guide is fully illustrated and is written in an easy to follow A - Z format explaining everything a teenage vampire girl would need to know about living life as a modern Vampire. Q: What is fashionable to wear when eating out? A:  Well you are a vampire so whatever you wear it is fashionable and normally black to help hide the blood stains,   Fang maintenance & how to keep your claws sharp, the food appreciates a well-dressed vampire with well-polished fangs and claws.   Should you let a boy bite you on the first date? Sigh of course not it’s a date he has to hunt for the dinner. Easy to understand clear advice is given to every day problems Example: When you get an urge to bite: We all get those normal urges to bite things, and I must point out it is very normal, Claws are all well and good in a fight but a bite gives the extra advantage of getting a refreshing drink at the same time. Lots of girls worry about showing their Fangs in public believing that to show your fangs is rude but don't be shy they can be a girl's greatest asset (ok second greatest asset)

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherReardon Publishing
    Release dateFeb 2, 2015
    ISBN9781874192480
    Fangs Rule
    Author

    Amy Mah

    About the Author The Author Amelia Mah is a 20 something snarky, sarcastic and cynical author who has a very popular blog of how she sees the world from the point of view of a modern teenage vampire Following the success of her first book "FANGS RULE A girls guide to being a vampire" she had now expanded the idea of life as a teenage vampire into a full novel Amelia has given her avatar her own name so you can see the world first hand from a very bored teenage vampire that has been forced to remain a teenager for far too long She may have very good teeth and the ability to hang from ceilings but life is far from easy. Today's world is difficult for everyone, especially teenagers. They face the stresses of school, deciding whom to date, and the biggie of sex, just to name a few. Imagine all of those things ten times worse, and you might get an idea of what it's like being a living, breathing teenage vampire. At last, the world can read about the life of a girl with good teeth, her problems with strong sunlight that gave her spots, and the sunblock that made her hair go yucky and produced more spots. Yes, sunlight was dangerous, as she could be the first teenager in history to die from terminal acne! In her everyday life, older vampires expected her to walk about at night in the traditional female uniform, a see-through, 18th-century nightdress, without undies! Well, this female vampire knew why the cold winds blowing along the corridors were called, "male winds," so she wore her see-through nightdress over jeans and a very thick jumper. To be sure that people would still know she was a vampire, the jumper had a very large, pink bat on it. At last the world can read the diary of a girl with good teeth and Amy does have very good sharp teeth. She knows that the world is personally out to get her. You could say that life sucks for her. Everyday she faces death in many horrible ways and it's called going to High School.

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    • 5/5
      CoverI love, love, love this cover. The colors are much more vibrant when you're holding the book in your hand than what you see in a picture.Plot/CharactersThere's not much of a plot since it's an A-to-Z guide on being a vampire. The guide is smart, funny and educational ... no matter if you are a vampire or a human.The guide is being told to you by the author herself, Amy Mah - a self-proclaimed vampire.OverallEven though I have no inclination into becoming a vampire, I loved this book. I would recommend this to everyone ... whether you enjoy a quick, fun read or want to know more about being a vampire or you like quirky humor ... this book is for you. =)
    • 5/5
      For centuries, it's been said that vampires live amongst us. That their way of life is similar to ours, even if they live in secret. It's also been said they don't eat, sleep, or even breathe. Myths surrounding vampires also tell us that they've wings and can turn into bats, amongst other things.With this guide for the every day vampire girl, Amy Mah puts all those myths to rest. Vampires do breath and sleep and they very much eat. There's just a certain etiquette one must follow in order to acquaint themselves with the right or wrong way in which to live life as a vampire.Vampires go through the same hardships as we do, but as the guide defines, they have it harder than we do. From the moment they are born, (unless they're turned), every aspect of a teenage vampire girl's life is dictated. Heck, they're even contracted for marriage way before they're even born.Despite that fact, this delightful guide tells us the right way to go about things in the vampire world. Undies, lipstick, fashion, boyfriends, food - you name it, there's a rule for that. Regardless of what you're told immortality is not a given, as vampires can also die. A vampire's saving grace is the fact that they've a longer life span.As depicted within Amy's guide, etiquette and proper grooming is the key in getting the best out of the vampiric world. And if you ever thought that vampires don't date then think again. They do. Just their way of doing things is quite different from ours. Plus, there's the fact that they bite.This handy little guide on etiquette and all things vampire in a teenager's world is a definite must have. It'll definitely teach you a thing or two on how to stay alive and co-exist in today's vampiric, and human-alike, society.So if you ever find yourself skulking around in a dark alley and happen to meet a hunky vampire, or two or three, just remember the lessons learned in this cheeky little book Amy has put together. Remembering the golden rules of being a vampire will surely help you stay alive. And remember, don't forget to carry around one of those handy blood packs in case you ever get the munchies!I so totally enjoyed reading this book. It's humor and insight into a teenage vampire's world was truly delightful. Humans and vampires-alike will love the sass and spunk found within every page. The advice offered can certainly be implemented into just about anything.The illustrations found within the book were very beautiful and nicely put together. I felt each one added a deeper perception to the story. The pictures were certainly eye-candy for sure. A definite must-read!
    • 5/5
      A very funny short book detailing life as a vampire. Particularly great if you've read the book. Amy Mah's worldbuilding is great, and her take on vampires is unique and intriguing.
    • 4/5
      Originally Reviewed at:Mother/Gamer/WriterRating: 4.5 out of 5 ControllersSource: Author for Blog TourReviewer: MeFangs Rule is not your ordinary manga. Instead it’s an instruction book which just happens to be a KICK-A$$-rocking-good-time. The life of a vampire is not all it’s glamorized to be, especially for women. No, they have it rough. And by rough I mean their lives are dictated to them, even down to who they’ll marry. Crazy right? But if you want to live among the undead turnlings or fit into the full-blooded vamp society, then you’re in luck, because Amy lays down the law in her ultimate A-Z guide.With witty charm and a hilarious personality, Amy Mah holds nothing back as she divulges vampire secrets so every teenage (female) vampire can be prepared for the lifestyle they have to live. From human boyfriends, to kissing and killing, if you’ve questioned it, she’s answered it. If you were too shy to ask about it, she’s answered those embarrassing questions too. It’s silly yet insightful, and sometimes downright creepy. Still, I find it a necessary guide for every vampire loving, paranormal craving, manga reading fan. And trust me, if what she’s described is true, you will need to learn the secrets in case you one day cross paths with a hunky piece of vampire meat. Furthermore, according to Amy the older the vampire the better. A decent 50 to 100 age range gap is perfect.For those of you who crave, or at least get a kick out of, gorgeous illustrations, Fangs Rule has those too. Beautifully crafted. Vibrant. Pulsating with tons of energy. I can’t sing the praises of the artwork enough. It adds depth and character to the story. Giving just enough detail to make you WANT more. The cover is stunning. Don’t believe me, take a look.See…told you.Overall, Fangs Rule breaks the AWESOME-METER. I highly recommend it to everyone looking to add a little something different to their shelf. It’s definitely a one-of-a-kind story and I can guarantee once you read it you’ll fall in love with Amy Mah too.
    • 5/5
      Full, non-spoiler review courtesy at Book & Movie Dimension a BlogHave you ever read a book that is a guide on how to act a certain way. Well this much the same but its a manga and uses vampires along with some humor. So really just more fun. In Fangs Rule, readers get to read about the real habits of a vampire and the true/untrue myths surrounding vampires.Many of the truths about a real vampire are very hard to accept or there are new concepts about vampires that are created. It's a fun light read with a lot of good humor.Amy (Mah) Vampire is a young teen vampire girl that wishes to help her fellow teen girl vampires with this guide of a sort of ettiquette they must follow. She is very casual about it and invites us into her own experiences as a vampire as well as with added beautiful pictures of those in her vampire family. Manga book lovers should enjoy this all the while with many laughs throughout the very attractive artwork pages.Overall: Amazing read!Genre:Young Adult, Manga, Vampires Recommend Ages: 16 and Up

    Book preview

    Fangs Rule - Amy Mah

    My name is Amy. .........er..... OK, my full Vampire name is: Lady Amelia, Mistress of the Night Mare, and Alpha Female from the Family of the Pink Bat. Yes... that is why I prefer to shorten it to Amy Mah (Vampire).

    I should point out that I'm a real living full blood born Vampire not some cold blooded undead turnling. But I grew up in the human world - raised by humans - until I was discovered and adopted into the Pink Bat Family.

    Being a Vampire in the human world was very difficult. No-one had ever told me how a Vampire should act. Everyone just thought I was a teenage girl with strange dietary needs, anaemic or something, and I rattled from the number of iron tablets I took every day.

    What I should do? How I should act? I knew I needed blood but didn't know why or how to get it, and all the knowledge I had on Vampirism was from human books and movies telling all kinds of stuff about Vampires that was just stupid. Like telling me I could change into a bat - I know that's not true because I tried it.

    And believe me when I say it is not cool to be discovered at school flapping your arms up and down trying to fly, those sort of events kinda follow you about!

    So when living with humans I started writing my own little A -Z in my journal, recording what it's like being a teenage Vampire and putting right all the strange stories that are so not true. I know that a lot of it will be very obvious to you if you know anything about real Vampires, but I started it when I knew nothing at all. Even when I joined the Nest I started out being the lowest of the low, with very little knowledge and a rank below that of a cat. Er …… I think the cats probably still outrank me!

    As I said, it's just my scribbling but I hope you find it helpful, or at least amusing.

    Amy Mah (Vampire)

    k

    Amy Mah Vampire

    A

    ABOMINATION

    This is a swear word used to insult another Vampire, and can mean they have two heads or are wearing odd coloured socks. With the fashion police you're more likely to be killed for wearing odd coloured socks than for having two heads.

    AGE

    Vampires can look any age that's younger than their real age, so most go about looking between 20 and 40. You can also stick at an age and not change for years, or powerful older Vampires (like your parents) can slow down your ageing. No, I don't know how. Being a teenage girl is bad enough but being stuck as one for years and years is so not fair. OK, I get older, but I'm still a teenager. I look like a teenager and I act like a teenager, I feel like a teenager, year after year after frigging year! Sorry, I'm getting carried away, but I've had enough of teenage hormones.

    ALPHA

    Top Vamps, usually oldest family, best teeth in the Nest, and stronger with sharper bites. Er … they rule the place. Unless you are of high birth you start off as a Beta, if you think you deserve to be an Alpha then you can ask the Council to test you. If they agree then they'll raise your status, otherwise they might just kill you for wasting their time.

    Alpha Males get involved in the running of the place, by which I mean all the important stuff like the external businesses, controlling the pets (not just the sex sort) that work for us, and the political stance of the Nest when dealing with outer Nests.

    Alpha Females run the unimportant stuff to do with the Nest, like, everything that's not to do with politics and business. Not that we do the actual work, the maids do that, (FAMULA turned human girls the undead vampire that humans think we all are) but we have life of death control of them and they look to us for instruction. They would have originally been very close to Male Vampires (ex-sex pets) but soon learn to take orders from the Females. Knowing that a Male could kill you is fine but as my Aunt says a Female in power can make you wish you were dead.

    If the council upgrades your status to an Alpha Female then you have your family brand upgraded by having a circle of gold burnt into the skin around the family brand. Alpha Females have both benefits and disadvantages in life. They have more freedom and more rights than a normal Beta: as a Alpha girl you may not be a Vampire Queen but you can at times get away acting like a spoilt princess. The major disadvantage is that you are prime breeding stock for the greater glory of the Nest, so young Alpha Females sometimes run off and become Renegades if they do not wish to have a family too soon in life.

    B

    BASE

    When dating it is handy to know the code words of what you are doing with each other. Believe it or not others have also done it, and have even numbered it! So what at is 1st 2nd 3rd 4th and 5th base?

    First Base:

    OK, this is the one we normally call making out, and unless you are on heat it stops at kissing, hugging and generally grabbing at each other. At this stage bitting is out as a boy should buy you a meal and not expect to you to provide it!

    Second Base:

    Letting a boy feel you above the waist - you know where I mean. For some reason boys are fascinated with boobs, and with plastic surgery so easily available nowadays I don't see why

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