Madison St. Station
By Sam Fels
()
About this ebook
The fall and rise of the Chicago Blackhawks, is the most dramatic in North American sports. From drawing barely 3,000 people per game to three Stanley Cups, the turnaround was simply whiplash. Fans who have been through it all can hardly believe the ride, and no one was a better example of this than Sam Fels. A die-hard fan as a child, disconnected as the organization collapsed in on itself, and then pulled back in by their resurgence, Fels became something of a voice for it all through his blog (SecondCityHockey.com, TheCommittedIndian.com, FaxesFromUncleDale.com) and the independent, gameday program he wrote and sold outside the United Center every game between 2008 and 2016. There was no better seat for the transformation of the franchise than his post outside Gate 3. He documented every game, taking the ride with every other fan and welcoming all the new ones along the way, while trying to come to grips with this new hockey world and all the challenges life was throwing at him away from the United Center. But this is the story of every Hawks, and hockey fan riding the fortunes of their teams through the fortunes of their own lives. How we use our fandom to cope, to celebrate, to commiserate. And to drink. How the different phases of our life fit differently with our continued fandom, and vice versa. How we all grow up and yet hang on to something of our childhood. And how our fandom colors the biggest moments of our lives and change the way we see things outside of the arena. How being a fan keeps us company when we're low, adds to our highs, and continually fills us with anger and dread in between. Won't you take a ride?
Sam Fels
Sam Fels has spent the past nine years covering the Blackhawks on various blogs and platforms. From his own blogs-- SecondCityHockey.com, TheCommittedIndian.com, and FaxesFromUncleDale.com--and NBC Chicago, he has had a prime seat for the rise of the organization. He also wrote a gameday program for every home game which he sold from his very cold spot outside Gate 3. He is a native Chicagoan, and still lives in the city with his dog/gremlin PJ.
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Madison St. Station - Sam Fels
Epiphany
April 13, 2008
San Jose v. Calgary (Game Three)
I know. It seems weird that a book about the Blackhawks and being a Hawks fan (at this point you're probably thinking supposedly
) starts off with a game between the Sharks and Flames. Well, it is weird. But this is the night that started this silly little journey of mine, that would give me a unique seat to the rise and conquering of the NHL by the Chicago Blackhawks. All of it viewed from my cold little post outside Gate three or from the empty-can-littered desk at which I'm writing whatever this is.
I was living in Los Angeles at the time, half-heartedly claiming that I was there to do stand-up comedy but already figuring out that I didn't really have the stage chops to go anywhere with it. I had been out of work for a couple of months at this point, having decided that working overnights in various California casinos was taking too much of an emotional toll on me (that is if you gauge your emotional well-being by the regularity of crying in your car at dawn, which I think is a pretty handy way to do it). So needless to say, I was certainly at a prime point for a major pivot in my life and for whatever might cause it.
And even from L.A., I had caught Hawks fever again. This was after Jonathan Toews and Patrick Kane's rookie season. It was a season that proved how futile our hopes had been in the seasons before, all of them bestowed on kids never worthy of it, such as Mark Bell or Tyler Arnason or whoever else was a synonym for tomato can.
This was after the season that Bill Wirtz had died and the shackles that held held the organization back for so long had come off. This was after the first season Rocky Wirtz and John McDonough took over and ran the Hawks like an actual organization in the twenty-first century (which is about the extent of what they did despite all the claims of geniusness coming from their own offices, but that's for much deeper into this book). This was after the season during which the Hawks ever so briefly flirted with actually making the playoffs, even if they would have gotten fustigated by the Red Wings in no more than five games that year. This was right after the season that Patrick Sharp netted thirty-six goals, the kind of total no Hawk ever dreamed of approaching for years even if they'd been allowed to shoot on their own goalies. This was after the season when a bevy of other young players came up for a look, and it was easy to see that something was bubbling here, like some witches brew from some Shakespeare play I wrote a middling paper about in high school.
I'll remember the moment exactly for the rest of my life. I was walking back from the kitchen in our apartment where the carpet was dirty enough to create a new element or two and suddenly I froze, standing behind the couch, with the Sharks and Flames on the screen. I think the Sharks had just scored to go up 3-0, a lead they would eventually blow to lose 4-3. Randy Hahn, the Sharks play-by-play man, was losing his mind on the call and perhaps it was the volume that snapped my mind into gear (for once). And suddenly it felt like something hit the natural frequency within me. You don't get a lot of these moments in your life, so you tend to notice when they happen. I couldn't move. My muscles basically froze. I'm guessing not a lot of people get such a clear vision of what they are supposed to do with their lives so immediately. Let me tell you something: it's better than coke.
I was going to bring back The Blue Line.
Well, that's not exactly how it went in my head. At such stupidly dramatic moments like as this, your thoughts don't spill out before you so well spelled out. It was more a bunch of words crashing into each other like souped-up bumper cars, but I was able to decipher what it all meant in the cavernous space between my ears. I saw the words "Blue Line and
you and
write and
Hawks and could put it together. Toss in a
fuckstick" because that word is generally always just below the surface in my mind. To the point that every phone I've ever had has memorized it within ten text messages written.
I had to sit down after a few moments, basically to come to terms with everything and in the hopes that the numbness within me would subside. Of course, being a Fels meant I had to see what could go wrong with this plan. Like, in painstaking fashion. Not just light musing or introspection, but a full out audit of all the ways I would fuck this up, even just mere minutes after thinking of it in the first place. The first challenge, of course, was finding the people who did the original program to see if they had any interest in doing it again. I don’t know if I thought I would just write for them from Los Angeles or if I’d come home to take it over. I just knew I had to talk to them.
But what if I did have to do it on my own? Were there enough people like me who read The Blue Line who would want to read another version? Or had they all given up their Hawks fandom, never to return (like those on the Night Train)? Were they all Chicago Wolves fans now? Did they all die (if you spent any time in the standing room in the old Chicago Stadium, you know this was a reasonable question)?
I quickly began crunching numbers in my head, even though I had no concept of what the term crunching numbers
actually meant and still don't, which is probably why I ended up making up a job instead of getting a real one. How many per night would I have to sell to make this work? How much were these to produce? It didn't seem like it took too many sales to at least break even. Even with all the different disasters I could conceive of, like dragon attack or bail money for when the Younger Wirtz would assuredly have me arrested, I couldn't find any angle that made it seem impossible or not worth going for.
The coming days included calls to my father and brother to see what they thought. I searched out Mark Weinberg, who wrote The Blue Line, through various message boards. It all eventually added up. That one night, watching the Flames and Sharks, sprang the next nine years that saw me standing in the snow selling my booze-addled thoughts on the Hawks to my fellow drunks. What follows is my story, their story, and maybe just a little bit of your story too, even if you're not a Hawks fan. All told through the fuzzy vision of your intrepid writer.
So with all apologies to Nick Hornby for parroting (or outright stealing) his Fever Pitch model, let's go for a ride, shall we?
Indoctrination
December 20, 1987
Bruins vs. Hawks
Of course, the seeds were planted much earlier than that spring day in 2008. Everyone has their first game. This was mine.
To be honest, I don't remember the details that well. I know my father came home from...well, I'd say work but I'm pretty sure it was the pool hall. I know he asked my brother Adam if he wanted to go to the Hawks game that night, and I'm fairly sure he did so because he'd found someone at said pool hall who wasn't skilled enough at the table to hold onto the contents of his wallet (point of order here: my father was a professional copywriter at several Chicago ad agencies throughout the years, he just liked to spend his free time playing pool, and playing for money is just more fun, isn't it?). The point is, my father had disposable income and wanted to use it to take Adam to a Hawks game.
What I do know is that I popped up unprompted to declare that I wanted to join in. This was received by my entire family as if I'd just said I'd discovered a weird growth on my body. They all had their reasons, I'm sure. I had shown mild interest in hockey before that, given that my brother was a fanatic and when you're five or six years old you will do anything and everything your older brother is doing. I have vague recollections of watching the Oilers win the Cup. It was this thing they did back then. A lot. I know my parents bought me a floor hockey stick with Wayne Gretzky's name on it, though I'm not sure if I asked for it.
My excitement about attending this game was solely about going with my brother Adam, and not reflective of a huge interest in the actual sport myself. Still, he was surprised at my sudden desire to go. Most older brothers would have dreaded watching over their shithead little brother at something like this. Adam was delighted that even at this fragile age I wanted to do something so...well, older.
My father probably just worried about having to spend the money on an unforeseen third ticket. My mother naturally feared for my life/future. And if her little boy was so excited to go someplace like Chicago Stadium for a Hawks game at this tender age, was he already doomed? (Yes, he was.)
All of them had a common trepidation though, and that was the Chicago Stadium being somewhere you just did not take a small child, especially for a hockey game. My mother knew that the Stadium was on the west side, and this was a long time before the Mayor Daley Gentrification Plan started to crawl down Madison street. The neighborhood around the Old Stadium was, to put it mildly, colorful. I'm sure if my mother had had her way, none of her family would have stepped foot anywhere near it. My father, being unafraid of just about anything, knew that paying five dollars to a local resident to watch the car
(i.e. make sure the other residents didn't smash it to bits or truck it off to your friendly neighborhood chop shop) was just about the only danger one would find on a game night.
My brother and father's hesitancy surely stemmed from what went on inside the arena, and that was mostly just the sheer noise. It remains a memory now, and a fading one, but the Old Stadium for Hawks games was considered something of an asylum. And that wasn't inaccurate. Much like the crowd you see at metal shows, you didn't see these people anywhere else but Hawks games. You didn't run into them at the grocery store or see them walking dogs in the park. It's like they were kept in a pen under the Stadium and let out about three hours before puck drop. And my brother and father were convinced that I would not be able to handle the noise.
However, wasn't the noise the point? Any hockey fan, or soccer fan for that matter, or wrestling fan even, will tell you that the first thing they noticed about watching these events, or back then listening to them on the radio, was the noise, the crowd. The sound of a crowd completely losing their collective minds seeping through the speakers on the TV or the radio is what drew us in. What was it about this thing that made people so excited that they made noise rivaling a jet engine five feet away? Surely this was worth an investigation at the very least. I had to know. Their fears only intrigued me more.
Besides, I may have only been six years old, but I knew I was a cool six-year-old (and thinking so shows just how out of it I was). I hung out in my brother's room while he blasted Master of Puppets; how many six-year-olds could claim that? My brother let me hang around when his friends were over, usually playing Strat-O-Matic hockey (and now you can see where my benchmark for cool
became quite skewed). It didn't dawn on me that he was just being nice or trying to placate my mother. In my mind, Adam let me hang around because I was just that awesome of a kid. Here was this little brother that he just had to show off at Chicago Stadium? Pfft, I could handle that. I'd survived hanging out in my brother's bedroom after all, or even the halls of his high school once or twice. There was nothing I couldn't do.
It didn't take long for the rest of the family to see that any effort to keep me from this was
going to be futile. If it wasn't that night, it was going to be soon, so they might as well get it over with. Back then, it would have been a twenty-five or thirty minute drive from our apartment to the Stadium. That was long for a boy my age, because usually I was only in the car to go to school or the store. But this was somewhere NEW. My parents had no reason to take me in this direction before. Of course, when you're that age and you're told a neighborhood is bad, you're just about ready to see anything outside your car's windows. Would we be dodging gunfights on our way? Would there be fires? Roving packs of wolves? Perhaps for the first time, in my mind, I was headed somewhere I could seriously die (and no, not from the layers of secondhand smoke within the Stadium corridors, which probably will kill me sometime soon).
We arrived and my brother got out to find a scalper, which in those days didn't take long for a mediocre Hawks team in the middle of December. This was how we got tickets for the first several years of my fandom, because getting tickets from the box office at the Stadium was nigh-on impossible (remember, everyone else attending the games was kept under the ice, so their access to tickets was obviously that much easier). He quickly found three tickets, though what he didn't realize at the time was that they weren't together. I was told to get out of the car and go inside with my brother while Dad parked (perhaps to keep me from seeing where he might park and what he might have to do when he got there). So inside we went.
You've probably read countless stories of people's first baseball games: walking through the concourse and seeing glimpses of the sky through the gates before the splendor and the color and the vibrancy of the first viewing of the playing field hits you. The green of the grass, the beige of the dirt, the blue of the sky all making for a rich tableau that always brings us back no matter how old we get.
This was not how it worked at Chicago Stadium.
First off, the concourse at the Stadium was about four feet wide. I really don't have any idea how wide it was, because seeing any more than eight inches in front of you through the cigar and cigarette smoke would have been a minor miracle. Whatever glimpses you got from the concourse into the playing area were just more smoke-filled, dotted with very angry people in dingy lighting. Your shoes stuck to the floor, if said floor wasn't already flooded with what we only hoped was water. The smell of beer, or the beer-flavored water that Old Man Wirtz preferred, filled the air. That feeling that I could meet my doom on this night did not dissipate upon entering the gates.
I was home.
I don't remember much about the game. I do know that my father took the ticket that wasn't connected to the other two, and thus we didn't see him all game. You’d think this would have sent a small boy into utter panic, especially a boy who worshipped his father as I did and especially one whose day had been filled with terrors told of the surrounding neighborhood and didn't Dad go park in it and oh my god he's been eaten by those wolves while being shot by rats!
Actually, I didn't think about my father at all during the game. I was too transfixed. While the interior of the Stadium at first glance certainly would never match one's first glance of the field at Wrigley or Fenway or wherever else, the white of the ice was still mesmerizing. It didn't come through on our aging TV, and whatever iteration of SportsChannel the Hawks were on in those days wouldn't have had the production value to make it if we had a top-of-the-line one anyway. It just looked dull on TV. But in person? It nearly burned your retinas. It was so striking, and the lines so red. It was like the players were skating on a Vegas sign. As a small child you don't really watch the players at your first game, you kind of just stare at the ice.
But it wasn't just the ice. I couldn't help but have my eyes and (sadly for my mother) my ears scan the crowd. There were men (and really, only men) yelling things I'd never heard before with a fervor I could scarcely understand. Surely this must be the most important thing taking place on Earth if these people are getting this worked up about it. A fight broke out in the crowd every ten minutes it seemed, and it felt as if this was just part of the spectacle. People came either to fight with each other in the stands or at least to watch people fight with each other in the stands. And it never failed. And of course, the vocabulary expansion I was receiving that night would make me one of the more popular kids during recess at school the next few days.
But mostly, I sat in anticipation and fear of THE ROAR. No, not the marketed, slogan roar that the Hawks used in the arena's last year. No, this was THE ROAR that my brother and father were sure I was not ready for. Would it deafen me for life? Would it crush my head like I'd just heard the voice of God? (Yes, that's a half-reference to Dogma, a movie I've come to abhor as I've gotten older. We'll get through this together). I almost didn't want the Hawks to score, for fear of permanent injury from the wall of noise that I had no preparation for and that my still-developing ears would not be able to handle. And I also couldn't wait for the Hawks to score, because I had to know what they were so worried about and surely if I could survive this cacophony I was the coolest six-year-old boy in the history of time who would go on to slay his enemies and conquer the world.
Honestly, I couldn't tell you who scored. It was either Everett Sanipass or Denis Savard as I've looked this up. One obviously would have been cooler than the other (in case you're unlearned in the way of ‘80's Hawks hockey, as you probably should be, the latter would have been a cool moment for your first game where the former is just high comedy). I'm fairly sure it was only to tie the game at one or even just to pull the Hawks to within a goal. I know I didn't see it, because the people in front of me leapt up before the puck hit the net. But there it was. THE ROAR.
Yeah, it was loud. I know Adam immediately looked over to see if I was crying or scared or had, in fact, imploded. What he found was a gleaming smile on his younger brother. Usually boys my age only got this kind of smile from a new bike or Nintendo. I got it from a bellowing crowd of hockey fans that my parents didn't want me associating with.
Because how could one not smile when part of something like this? Something so raucous, so joyous, so COOL. And here I was, somewhere so dangerous, and what's better to any boy than to do what you're not supposed to do? And I BELONGED. I had to belong, because this noise did not kill me. I wasn't afraid of it. I could handle this. I'm sure it would have terrified all my friends, and this certainly wasn't a place for icky, scary girls (a main concern at six). This is where I wanted to be. I was one of these people, even at such a tender age when I shouldn’t have been identifying with anyone.
I don't remember anything else about the rest of the game except for the empty-net goal that the Bruins scored to seal the game at 4-2. Someone slid it from center-ice, and I remember watching the puck streak unaccompanied all the way to the net. And as soon as it hit the back of the cage, fifteen-thousand people simultaneously stood up to leave. It looked like a comedy skit of some kind. It was sort of my first experience with this kind of groupthink, where a large group of people has the same collective impulse without ever communicating it to each other. At that age I didn't really know that an empty-net goal meant the game was over everywhere but on the clock. But they all did. It made me want to be part of this sort of hive mentality even more.
We found my father after the game, and I'm sure I was relieved to learn he hadn't been shot by rats. I was bouncing all over on the car ride home because the result doesn't really matter at your first game. I have no doubts my father was dreading all the extra money he knew he was going to have to spend to send me along with my brother to games now. He must've known, from the expression on his young son's face, that this was now a part of me. Most teenage boys, as Adam was at this point, wouldn't have been thrilled to know they were now going to have to bring their little brother along to a lot of games. But not him. I think he was jonesing at the chance to mold his brother into the person maybe he didn't think he could be himself. Or at least into a fun, cool younger brother. Whereas both he and my father weren't very popular or happy as children, perhaps he saw this as another chance to make me one who would be. And as the only kid in class who was taken to a hockey game at that point, I certainly was well on my path.
Poisoned
January 1, 1988
Capitals vs. Hawks
The next month was spent constantly pestering my brother and father, wondering when I would get to go back to the Stadium. When you're six, the concepts of income, employment, time, commitments, and whatever else older people worried about didn't matter to you if you could even conceive of what they were. At that point, the world simply revolved around when would I get taken back to a Hawks game. I thought it should be everyone in the family’s first, second, and third priority. I didn't care that my father's employment status had become tenuous, or that my mother was making what money we had stretch barely over the educations for me and my brother, or that my brother was navigating his way through the college application process (and making a real hash of it as well).
I spent the intervening month regaling my school friends (ha, plural in hope only) with what I'd seen. I think most of them were completely unaware Chicago had a hockey team, and probably a fair few didn't even know what hockey was. Surely no one I went to school played the sport, and this was an age when some kids would have started.
I went to a private school. And this was my first indication of how being a hockey fan was going to make me a social or sporting other.
The parents of my schoolmates, if they were even sports fans at all, were Bulls fans. This was when Michael Jordan had basically taken over the world and with it the city's sporting attention (at least when the Bears weren't playing). And I was going to school with the offspring of the city's well-to-do and fresh crop of yuppies; all they knew was Michael Jordan. Yes, they all had the sweaters and collared shirts we’ve all associated with Bulls fans.
And I knew that was a group I wanted no part of. Did I have solid reasons? Assuredly no. George and Adam remained big Bulls fans, even after losing their season tickets to a price increase after Jordan arrived. I guess I just wanted to go full-bore into outsider
territory.
But moreover, the Bulls and their fans didn't seem cool, at least not to me at that age. I knew better. I beseeched my friends to inform their parents that there was something better going on. There was something faster and brighter and kind of scary and loud and it's where the coolest people hung out. Of course, this being just about the first generation of parents that shielded their kids from anything scary and loud, you can see how futile my efforts would have been. And their dads weren't getting Hawks tickets from the boss, but they sure as hell were getting Bulls tickets. It wasn't long before I became known as the hockey fan
in the class. In first grade, this was probably akin to having green hair in high school. This was stepping toward punk rock. If other parents found something dangerous about Chicago Stadium and the Hawks, didn't that make me dangerous? I liked the sound of that (and with my sugar-bowl haircut, I'm sure I terrified everyone).
Make no mistake, at least back then the feel of separation comes early to any hockey fan. There is a special feeling thinking that you have something, or you know something, that almost everyone else doesn't. Whatever,
I thought, I don't need them to join me on this. This is my thing.
At the same time, no matter how old you are as a kid you don't want to be separated from the pack in any fashion. The worst thing you can be is different, after all. I may have talked big about prematurely adhering to a punk rock philosophy, but that didn't mean I had anywhere near the commitment to the bit. Especially at an age where I didn't know shit about punk rock.
While I've come to realize that the rivalry between Hawks fans and Bulls fans is silly (and possibly also racially tinged), you can certainly see how it might have started. After all, the Bulls had a genuine world star and were knocking on the door of a championship and were on TV and all of it. The Hawks? If anyone knew when and where they played they sure didn't talk about it much. The feeling of being left out in the cold snapped in pretty quickly.
It was also during this month that I became aware of the ham-fisted way the Hawks were being run. Before attending a game, I didn't really know that the home games were not on TV. I didn't have much interest in watching any game on TV before that anyway, but after the hockey fuse was lit I obviously wanted to stay in touch. I thought it was a bit peculiar that you couldn't see Hawks games on TV because I knew I could see Bulls and Cubs and Bears games on TV whenever they played. But thanks to six-year-old optimism and early bedtimes, I didn't kick up much of a fuss. After all, I didn't have a TV in my room but I could sneak a walkman in after bedtime to listen to Pat Foley describe the anarchy that was going on to the south and west of home. You could sense how ridiculous the adults thought it all was. While my passions and love for the game and team were planted very early, so too were my problems and suspicions with them.
Anyway, perhaps just to lessen their annoyance, my parents sanctioned this trip, and it was the first game of hundreds that only Adam and I attended. I couldn't have been happier. Other friends had older brothers, and all they did was kick the shit out of them and scowl. My brother certainly kicked the shit out of me often—it was his right after all—but then he was excited to do stuff like this with me. I don't know if it was the hockey I so craved, or time away from my parents with Adam. It was probably both.
Up Close
March 13, 1988
Flyers v. Hawks
If there was any lingering doubt about my dive into the world of hockey, it was erased on this night. Any hockey fan or really anyone who has been to a game can tell you that it's a completely different sport when you get to sit up close. This was my first foray into the lower bowl of the Stadium.
Judging by the time of year, it must've been a reward for my brother's birthday and/or finding a college that was willing to lower its standards and risk its reputation to let him in. Whatever it was, I didn’t care.
I knew this was an event because Adam made sure in the days preceding that it was. We acquired the season tickets from a father of one of his classmate's, and I was told it was around the tenth row. I knew it was the kind of seats we would never get or be able to afford, so this was going to be a big deal.
Not only that, but this was the FLYERS. They were coming off playing in perhaps what is still the greatest Stanley Cup Final in history, losing in seven games to the Oilers the previous spring. While I knew the Oilers were the be-all and end-all of the league and sport, I also knew there was something different about the Flyers. The Flyers, and especially their fans, symbolized all of the elements that made going to a hockey game exciting and terrifying at the same time. While my brother would never admit to having any affection for them, looking back on it I know that he did. The Oilers were U2 or Bon Jovi. Yeah, they'd conquered the world and were the sport's biggest band,
but everyone knew who they were. They didn't speak for the real fans.
The Flyers? They were Guns N' Roses. Volatile, violent, capable of brilliance and madness from one moment to the next. The stories of what went on at their home arena, The Spectrum (you can figure out what most called it. Hint: it rhymed) made it seem like Thunderdome was an actual place in our country. They wore orange and black, which just looked so threatening, and they were coached by perhaps the most unhinged guy in the organization, Mike Keenan. These were the Flyers of Rick Tocchet and Mark Howe and Peter Fucking Zezel and most infuriatingly, Ron Hextall. Even at that tender age, I knew about him and the rage he basically sent every opposing fanbase into. All you had to do was watch one Flyers game on TV, and it wouldn't be too long before you'd have to ask someone, What is that noise?
The answer was invariably Hextall whacking his stick against both of his posts when the play was in the other end, mostly because it drove other fans nuts. He was known to be completely nuts as well, and one never knew when he'd simply Paul Bunyan anyone around him with his stick. This wasn't so much a hockey team coming to town but more of a biker gang that you hoped would leave town without spilling too much local blood.
We got to our seats and I sat in utter shock at how close we were. I tell most people that I've rarely enjoyed sitting very close at a baseball game, as I'm constantly attuned to not catching a foul ball in the teeth. That started early in my life. It was a similar fear sitting this close at a hockey game, but it wasn't a puck I worried about taking the full brunt of.
It's impossible to accurately describe the speed at which the game is played when you sit that close. You can't believe it. Things happen before you have time to focus on where they are, and then things pivot back the other way before you've fully comprehended what just happened. Whereas up top you can take it all in, this is pure adrenaline, especially in the ‘80's when the ice was a lot more open.
So considering the speed at which everything was happening, which my young eyes and nerves could barely handle, and knowing the reputation of the Flyers back then, I was more afraid of a human body (or just a severed head) flying through the boards and landing on me than I was about catching a wayward puck.
This was also the game at which some dickhead Flyers fan (redundant, I know) sent his two young daughters to carry a pro-Flyers sign down the aisle. Being young and being female almost certainly didn't shield them from hearing a few lord-knows-whats, such was the atmosphere. People in the section we were sitting in urged me, another child, to run up and take their sign away. To this day I still kind of regret that I didn’t. I would have been a hero to the entire lower bowl of the Stadium, though I almost certainly would have earned an ass-kicking for my brother eight ways to Sunday from the girls' father. This was the Old Stadium, encouraging children to fight in the stands for their own entertainment.
Denis Savard netted the OT winner, giving the Hawks a 5-4 win. Savard was everyone's first Hawks hero, and he always scored when they needed. All kids were pushed to love Savard, and I did, but I knew that picking him as my favorite player would be uncreative or easy. Even then, even after going off the beaten path to be a hockey fan at all, I had to steer a wider path in choosing my idols. Savard existed on a different plane than every other player the Hawks had then, because he was just so much more skilled than any of his teammates. It didn't feel so much like he was a Hawk but a player bestowed upon the Hawks. It was such an odd dichotomy: within this barely standing building filled with smoke and stale beer, populated by an angry mob that couldn't resist fighting each other and that constantly bayed for blood, existed this artist who glided over the ice and around any opponent. He was a painter in an arena full of people working with a drill. He was the flower that springs out of the sidewalk. I'm still not sure how he wasn't killed.
First Heartbreak
December 26, 1988
Blues vs. Hawks
I imagine being a parent to a sports-obsessed child comes with a lot of minefields that you never expected. You know that when you have a kid there are going to be hard, teachable moments that are simply torture to endure. The first time they hurt themselves. The first time they get bullied at school. The first time they strike out in little league. The first time their heart breaks. You should also prepare for the first time their favorite player on their favorite team gets traded, if they're so infected.
I couldn't possibly tell you why Rick Vaive became my first favorite Hawk. He was in Chicago for barely a hundred games, arriving before the previous season along with Steve Thomas for Eddie Olczyk and Al Secord (and this was far before I would ever realize how great it would be to get Eddie O out of town). Secord was my brother's favorite player, and maybe I thought it was funny to pick the player they got in return and needle him that way. Yes, I was kind of a jerk at this young age, at least to my own family. Maybe I thought it was too easy to pick Savard or Larmer, because they were everyone else's and even at that age I had to be contrarian. More likely, I think I just liked the way the #27 looked (remember this, it comes back into play). Or maybe I liked that you could have two v's in one name. Vaive
looked cool. It sounded cool. And for a good portion of his one full season in Chicago he had to wear a full visor thanks to a broken jaw. At seven, I probably thought that was cool too, because it was different. Rest assured, there was no rational reason.
Not that Vaive wasn't a useful player. He was. He scored forty-three goals in his one full season as a Hawk, though in the ‘80s the list of players that scored forty-plus goals included numerous hobos and carnival folk. He piled up 441 career goals in thirteen years in the league, and 537 points. He had himself a career.
Sadly, this was the day he was traded to Buffalo for a glorified obelisk in Adam Creighton. Rumors of the deal had popped up for a few days prior, as Mike Keenan, who had become the Hawks coach, craved a player you could park in front of the net and who couldn't be moved from there. Because in those days being able to stay anchored in that area required being able to survive assault with a deadly weapon. While Creighton couldn't actually do anything, he was big and hard to move simply by being big. Back then, this was a skill.
Adam spent the days preparing and needling me about the impending move. I think he knew I would be upset, and wanted to prepare the ground while getting some revenge on my Secord-departure joy (and if you think exacting revenge on a seven-year-old boy is a sign of sickness, you're A) correct, B) never had a little brother, and C) are not of our family).
The day finally came, and even though I thought I was prepared, I was still flattened. They were taking my Vaive away. If it could happen to him, why would I bother giving my heart to another player if they could be so callously and viciously ripped out of my life? And to Buffalo? That might as well have been Mars. I vowed to never, ever warm