To Believe in Women: What Lesbians Have Done For America - A History
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In this “essential and impassioned addition to American history,” the three-time Lambda Literary Award winner and author of Odd Girls and Twilight Lovers focuses on a select group of late-nineteenth- and early-twentieth-century lesbians who were in the forefront of the battle to procure the rights and privileges that large numbers of Americans enjoy today (Kirkus Reviews).
Hoping to “set the record straight (or, in this case, unstraight)” for all Americans and provide a “usable past” for lesbians in particular, Lillian Faderman persuasively argues that the sexual orientation of her subjects may in fact have facilitated their accomplishments. With impeccably drawn portraits of such seminal figures as Susan B. Anthony, Carrie Chapman Catt, and Eleanor Roosevelt, To Believe in Women “will raise eyebrows and consciousness” (Dianne Wood Middlebrook). As Faderman writes in her introduction, “This is a book about how millions of American women became what they are now: full citizens, educated, and capable of earning a decent living for themselves.”
A landmark work of impeccable research and compelling readability, To Believe in Women is an enlightening and surprising read.
“For those who need a dose of pride and a slice of history, Faderman’s portraits should strike a popular note. ‘To Believe in Women’ is a decent starting point for learning about these pioneers and their contributions to American life.” —The New York Times
Lillian Faderman
Lillian Faderman is an internationally-known scholar of lesbian history and literature, as well as ethnic history and literature. Her many honours include six Lambda Literary Awards, two American Library Association Awards, and several lifetime achievement awards for scholarship. She is the author of Harvey Milk: His Lives and Death, The Gay Revolution, Surpassing the Love of Men, and Odd Girls and Twilight Lovers.
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To Believe in Women - Lillian Faderman
Contents
Title Page
Contents
Copyright
Dedication
Epigraph
Acknowledgments
Introduction
HOW AMERICAN WOMEN GOT ENFRANCHISED
The Loves and Living Arrangements of Nineteenth-Century Suffrage Leaders
Bringing the Suffrage Movement into the Twentieth Century: Anna Howard Shaw
Victory: Carrie Chapman Catt
Two Steps Forward . . .
Photos I
HOW AMERICA GOT A SOCIAL CONSCIENCE
Mother-Hearts/Lesbian-Hearts
Social Housekeeping: The Inspiration of Jane Addams
Social Housekeeping Becomes a Profession: Frances Kellor
Poisoning The Source
HOW AMERICAN WOMEN GOT EDUCATED
Mental Hermaphrodites
: Pioneers in Women’s Higher Education
Making Women’s Higher Education Even Higher: M. Carey Thomas
The Struggle to Maintain Women’s Leadership: Mary Emma Woolley
The Triumph of Angelina: Education in Femininity
Photos II
HOW AMERICAN WOMEN GOT INTO THE PROFESSIONS
When More Women Enter Professions
: Lesbian Pioneering in the Learned Professions
Making Places for Women in Medicine: Emily Blackwell
Carrying On: Martha May Eliot, M.D.
The Rush to Bake the Pies and Have the Babies
Conclusion: Legacies
Notes
Index
About the Author
Copyright © 1999 by Lillian Faderman
All rights reserved
For information about permission to reproduce selections from this book, write to [email protected] or to Permissions, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company, 3 Park Avenue, 19th Floor, New York, New York 10016.
www.hmhco.com
The Library of Congress has cataloged the print edition as follows:
Faderman, Lillian.
To believe in women : what lesbians have done for America—a history / Lillian Faderman.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 0-395-85010-x
1. Lesbian feminism—United States—History. 2. Lesbians—United States—History.
I Title.
HQ75.6.U5F35 1999
305.48'9664'0973 —dc21 99-26209 CIP
eISBN 978-0-547-34840-7
v4.0616
TO PHYLLIS—AGAIN
FOR EVERYTHING—AGAIN
I have forgotten everything I learned at Bryn Mawr, but I still see you standing in chapel and telling us to believe in women.
—from a letter to Bryn Mawr’s president, M. Carey Thomas, from an alumna
Acknowledgments
It would be impossible to write a book of this nature without the help of the numerous archivists and special collections librarians who very kindly assisted me in finding the papers I needed and often led me to materials that were invaluable for my research. My thanks to the staff at the Swarthmore College Peace Collection, the Huntington Library, the Nantucket Historical Association, the Bancroft Library of the University of California at Berkeley, the Bryn Mawr College Archives, the American Philosophical Society Library, the Archives and Special Collections at the Allegheny University of the Health Sciences, the Sophia Smith Collection at Smith College, the Vassar College Special Collections, the Wellesley College Archives, the Cornell University Rare and Manuscript Collections, the Schlesinger Library of Radcliffe College, and the Mount Holyoke College Archives and Special Collections.
I am especially grateful to Patricia Albright of Mount Holyoke College, Wendy Chmielewski of the Swarthmore College Peace Collection, Amy Hague of Smith College, Wilma Slaight of Wellesley College, Ellen Shea of the Schlesinger Library, and Jeanne Tempesta, head of Interlibrary Loan at California State University, Fresno.
I want to thank the friends and colleagues who very generously gave me their time, insight, and encouragement, reading numerous drafts of my manuscript and/or patiently listening to me spin out my ideas. My special gratitude goes to Joyce Brotsky, Rosie Pegueros, Dana Shugar, Linda Garber, Barbara Blinick, Steve Yarbrough, and Priscilla Allen. Heather Phillips and Sara Cable kindly shared with me their work on Pauli Murray. Joan Organ shared her work on Florence Allen. Margaret Bacon shared her work on Mildred Olmsted. Phyllis Irwin’s assistance with research and photography has been precious to me.
It would not have been possible for me to complete this book without the gift of time from my university and the help and understanding of the dean of the School of Arts and Humanities, Luis Costa.
I thank John Radziewicz, my editor, and his very patient assistant, Jenna Terry. As always during our twenty-year relationship, Sandra Dijkstra continues to be a wonderful agent and a good friend.
I thank Dawn Seferian for her early faith in this project and Steve Fraser for his good suggestions during the all-too-brief time I was fortunate to work with him. My special thanks go to my superb manuscript editor, Liz Duvall.
1
Introduction
Not-men, not-women, answerable to no function of either sex, whose careers were carried on, and how successfully, in whatever field they chose: They were educators, writers, editors, politicians, artists, world travellers, and international hostesses, who lived in public and by the public and played out their self-assumed roles in such masterly freedom as only a few medieval queens had equalled. Freedom to them meant precisely freedom from men and their stuffy rules for women.
—Katherine Anne Porter, on nineteenth- and early twentieth-century lesbians
THIS IS A BOOK about how millions of American women became what they now are: full citizens, educated, and capable of earning a decent living for themselves. It is also a book about how Americans developed a social conscience and adapted the goals of various reform movements into laws. But it departs from other such histories because it focuses on how certain late nineteenth- and early twentieth-century women whose lives can be described as lesbian were in the forefront of the battle to procure the rights and privileges that large numbers of Americans enjoy today.
For a variety of reasons, many of the women at the center of this book would not have used the noun lesbian
to describe their identity, or even have been familiar with the word. However, using materials such as their letters and journals as evidence, I argue that that term used as an adjective accurately describes their committed domestic, sexual, and/or affectional experiences. I also argue that in their eras, lesbian arrangements freed these pioneering women to pursue education, professions, and civil and social rights for themselves and others far more effectively than they could have if they had lived in traditional heterosexual arrangements.
Lesbians Before Lesbian Identity
The emotional and sexual lives of many of the women discussed in this book were often complex. Most of them lived before the days when sexual identity was defined by clear-cut labels, and the noun lesbian
would not in any case have been entirely adequate to identify all of them. Mary Dreier, for example, shared her life with another woman in a relationship that was almost certainly sexual, but she was also in love with a man she could not marry, and she probably did not consummate her attraction to him. Mildred Olmsted was married for most of her life and had a child with her husband, yet she was sexually uninterested in him, and throughout her marriage she continued a relationship with a woman that was emotionally and erotically intense. Still others loved and lived with women only. They may or may not have had sexual relationships with those women, but regardless, they saw them as their domestic spouses, partners, or lifelong loves. The binary paradigm of homosexual/heterosexual would probably have been baffling to many of them even if they had known those terms. However, what all these people had in common was that beloved women were centrally implicated in their emotional lives, and to a greater or lesser extent, their intimate relationships with other women helped enable their achievements.
To Believe in Women will perhaps be seen as being in opposition to postmodernism, which does not recognize the possibility of reclaiming women of the past as lesbians. Academic postmodernists might point to the precarious status of identity—the instability, indecipherability, and unnameability of sexualities—and conclude that lesbianism cannot really be discussed, particularly in regard to history. With their epistemological doubts, they would be suspicious of any attempt to construct a coherent pattern out of complex human lives in order to create a grand narrative
of history. Grand narratives—indeed, any such theoretical speculations, they would argue—must ultimately expose themselves as passionate fictions.
I believe that such arguments have merit and serve as an important corrective to a simplistic temptation to name the lesbians
in history. As the postmodernists claim, it is impossible—especially when dealing with historical figures—to make safe statements about identities, which are so slippery in their subjectivity and mutability. However, if enough material that reveals what people do and say is available, we can surely make apt observations about their behavior. That is what I have attempted to do in this book. I use the term lesbian
as an adjective that describes intense woman-to-woman relating and commitment. Thus, I will admit at the outset that my subtitle is somewhat misleading. If there had been more space on the title page, and if the phrase had not been so aesthetically dismal, I might have subtitled this book, with greater accuracy, What Women of the Late Nineteenth and Early Twentieth Centuries, Whose Chief Sexual and/or Affectional and Domestic Behaviors Would Have Been Called ‘Lesbian’ If They Had Been Observed in the Years after 1920, Have Done for America.
When I slip into the shorthand of referring to these women as lesbians,
readers might keep my alternate subtitle in mind.
While most of these women appear not to have had what we in the later twentieth century have called a lesbian identity,
they somehow recognized each other. On what basis? Perhaps it was because they fought together to expand women’s possibilities, they were usually not living with a husband, and, most important, they were ostensibly engaged in a romantic and committed relationship with another woman. They often knew each other well. Anna Howard Shaw, the suffrage leader, was close not only to other suffrage leaders such as Susan B. Anthony and the woman Anthony called her lover,
Emily Gross, but also to women such as M. Carey Thomas, the college president, and her partner, Mary Garrett. Thomas was also friends with Jane Addams, the social reformer, who, along with her partner, Mary Rozet Smith, was friends with the suffragist and politician Anne Martin and her partner, Dr. Margaret Long. When Addams and Smith visited Boston, they often dined or stayed with the writer Sarah Orne Jewett and her partner, Annie Fields.
These women seldom wrote to each other without also sending regards to the partner of the correspondent; Love from both of us to both of you
was an oft-repeated phrase in their letters. When female couples traveled with other female couples, it was taken for granted that each woman would be sharing a room with her partner and not with another friend. Sleeping arrangements were understood to be as inviolate as they would be with husband and wife. Those qualities and lifestyles these women shared and recognized in each other apparently constituted an identity
of sorts, though there is little evidence that they gave a name to it.
In the context of their day, the general absence of a name for their loves and lives is not surprising. I have found no articulated concepts of lesbianism in the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries with which they would have been entirely comfortable. Inverts
were seen by most sexologists as pathological, and since these women believed their discontent was not pathological but rationally based on the unjust treatment of females, they would not have dubbed themselves sexual inverts,
no matter how much sexologists’ definitions of the invert fit them. The term homosexual
too would probably have felt foreign to most of them, since regardless of whether their relationships were specifically sexual, they were also much more than sexual. Nor would other nineteenth-century views of lesbianism, such as the images of the lesbienne in French decadent fiction and poetry, have seemed acceptable to most of them.
However, though most of the women discussed here may not have articulated, even to themselves, that their choice of a female mate instead of a husband was lesbian,
sexologists writing at the end of the nineteenth century made the point emphatically, characterizing the leaders of the women’s movement as sexual inverts.
In his 1897 work, Havelock Ellis even laid the blame for what he said was an increase in female homosexuality on the modern movement of emancipation,
which encouraged women’s intimacy with their own sex
and taught them disdain
for women’s conventional roles.
Ellis’s supposition ran counter to a theory proposed several decades earlier and generally accepted by him that homosexuality was congenital. The true homosexual, sexologists insisted, suffered from a hereditary neurosis. But Ellis explained an apparent contradiction by asserting that the homosexuality of women who came to that aberration
through the emancipation movement was only a spurious imitation.
However, he continued his argument, the true homosexual often assumed leadership in women’s rights movements, where she made other women spuriously
homosexual. She could intellectually seduce other females because her congenital anomaly
of homosexuality occurs with special frequency in women of high intelligence who, voluntarily or involuntarily, influence others.
Despite the charm of this supposition, I will not argue as Ellis does that the leadership for women’s rights and re-form came from lesbians because of the high intelligence
associated with their anomaly.
Rather, it seems that women of this time who formed domestic partnerships with other women were much more likely to be effective as social pioneers than women who lived with husbands.
The Virtues of Lesbian Domesticity
Almost all of the women discussed in the pages that follow had a primary relationship with another woman that lasted for twenty years or more. However, there was no one model of domestic and affectional arrangements among them. In some cases, such as that of Anna Shaw and Lucy Anthony, one member of the couple mostly kept the home fires burning while the other traveled the continent to procure women’s rights. Lucy Anthony, who would surely have been called a femme
if she had lived in the mid-twentieth century, had no interest in a public role for herself, yet she believed ardently in the women’s movement and felt that by taking care of the charismatic and politically effective Shaw, she was contributing to the cause.
In contrast, other women worked together with their partners to advance women’s position. Emily Blackwell and Elizabeth Cushier were both pioneering doctors in the New York infirmary that Emily founded. Frances Willard and Anna Gordon both led the Woman’s Christian Temperance Union. Carrie Catt and Mollie Hay were both suffrage leaders on a national level. Tracy Mygatt and Frances Witherspoon both worked on issues of peace and civil rights.
In other cases, one woman made her considerable fortune available to the reform work in which her partner was engaged, thereby empowering the beloved partner while promoting a cause in which she too believed. Jane Addams was able to put Hull House on the map in part because of the many excellent projects that the generosity of her wealthy partner, Mary Rozet Smith, permitted her to pursue. M. Carey Thomas became one of the first female college presidents in 1894 because Mary Garrett, with whom Thomas lived until Garrett’s death, in 1915, told the trustees that she would give Bryn Mawr a large yearly endowment if, and only if, Thomas headed the college. Miriam Van Waters became a powerful women’s prison reformer with the help of the purse and political clout of Geraldine Thompson, with whom she had a long-term committed relationship.
In Surpassing the Love of Men and Odd Girls and Twilight Lovers, I traced how the successes of the women’s rights movement by the late nineteenth century meant that so-called romantic friendships of earlier eras could become Boston marriages
: committed relationships between two women who, having gone to college and then found decent-paying jobs, could set up a household together rather than marry men out of economic need. In To Believe in Women, I will show how many of those women also shared the excitement of pioneering. They went where no women had gone before—not only into colleges and universities, but also into the polls, the operating rooms, the pulpits, the legislatures, the law courts. It was often their same-sex partnerships and commitments that made those exciting explorations possible.
Why were women who lived in committed relationships with other women so apt to be the most effective early leaders in the movement to advance women and in many other reform movements? At the end of the long, strong first wave of the women’s rights movement, in 1920, Crystal Eastman, who had had two husbands and numerous male lovers, characterized what she believed to be crucial differences between heterosexual relationships and female-female relationships. Heterosexual marriage, in her summation, posed a danger to certain women:
Two business women can make a home
together without either one being over-burdened or over-bored. It is because they both know how and both feel responsible. But it is the rare man who can marry one of them and continue the home-making partnership. Yet if there are not children, there is nothing essentially different in the combination. Two self-supporting adults decide to make a home together: If both are women, it is a pleasant partnership more often than work; if one is a man, it is almost never a partnership—the woman simply adds running the home to her regular outside job. Unless she is very strong, it is too much for her, she gets tired and bitter over it, and finally perhaps gives up her outside work and condemns herself to the tiresome half-jobs of housekeeping for two.
In our post—second-wave-of-feminism era, when egalitarian heterosexual relationships are not as rare as they were several generations ago, the fears of women such as Eastman may seem overwrought; but they clearly mirrored those of many of her cohorts and predecessors. For example, in a 1906 essay for Harper’s Bazaar, The Passing of Matrimony,
Charlotte Perkins Gilman expressed great relief that women no longer had to strive desperately to find a husband and that more and more women were in fact choosing to remain single. As Gilman phrased it, they were refusing to be yoked in marriage,
which demanded that they give up the dream of self-realization.
While there were marriages that were exceptions to these complaints, even with cooperative and well-meaning husbands, women often felt conflicts over attempting to balance professional and domestic life.
Because many women’s rights leaders believed that an unmarried woman could be more committed to the cause than one with a husband and children, they not infrequently hoped to encourage young women not to marry. As Susan B. Anthony phrased it on the occasion of her fiftieth birthday party, at which an army of movement women demonstrated how greatly they revered her, "I am so glad of it all because it will help teach the young girls that to be true to principle—to live to an idea—though an unpopular one—that is to live single—without any man’s name—may be honorable. But did the loneliness of single life not appear formidable to many pioneering women? If a woman chose not to be
yoked in marriage, was she not condemned to solitude? The women who are the subjects of this book believed that through their intimate relationships with other women they found escape from loneliness while maintaining their
dreams of self-realization."
With regard to many of these women, it is impossible to determine which came first, the realization that it was important to remain single if they wanted to achieve or the desire to achieve because they knew they must since they did not want to marry. Did they fight for women’s rights because they did not have the opportunity to marry? Or was their opportunity to marry foreclosed by their fight for women’s rights? Or did they realize that they must fight for women’s rights because they preferred not to marry? Whatever the case, their same-sex living arrangements permitted them far more time for social causes and other pursuits than was available to those who were busy running a multiperson household before the days of modern conveniences and with raising a family before effective birth control could limit the number of pregnancies. It is not surprising that in Frances Willard and Mary Livermore’s biographical dictionary, A Woman of the Century, more than half of the 1470 biographies of women of achievement were of those who had never married or who were widowed young and never remarried. In the same vein, in her study of the twenty-six leading suffragists from 1890 to 1920, Aileen Kraditor talks about a number of women leaders who married and then withdrew from activity because of family responsibility.
It was not easy to be a wife and mother while one led a revolution in the nineteenth and early twentieth centuries.
Moreover, women in relationships that we would describe today as lesbian truly had a unique interest in the advancement of women and a psychological advantage in effecting that advancement: they were fighting for their lives, or at least for the quality of their lives. If no man was going to represent them at the polls or in politics, they needed the vote and they needed power to effect social changes. If no man was going to support them, they needed education and good jobs. They had the luxury as well as the necessity of greater female chauvinism than the woman whose significant other
was a man. The 1970s lesbian feminist term woman-identified woman
was cumbersome and unlovely, but it expressed something of the feeling not only of lesbian feminists of the second half of the twentieth century but also of many of the leading women’s rights activists of the nineteenth century. Regardless of whether a woman became a pioneer by volition or necessity, if she had a relationship with another woman, not only could she escape the inevitable loneliness of the single life, but also such a relationship might have made her feel double the plight of females in her era; it might have enhanced her desire to stand shoulder to shoulder with other women in order to lessen that plight.
Women who knew they were not going to marry also had less fear of offending men than a woman whose burning ambition was to be a wife. They could afford to be more militant and more devoted to pioneering pursuits in the cause of women, since they did not have to care what men thought. Through their commitments to each other and their freedom from heterosexual dependence, they were in the best position to wage the necessary grueling and often brutal battles on behalf of women.
Gender Trouble
The individuals who are the subject of this book might all be said to have had gender trouble,
in the sense that they could not accept the restrictions inherent in the notion of gender: they were dissatisfied with the way the category woman
was constructed, and they were frustrated by the limitations placed on them as forced members of that category. They desired the privileges that were associated with men. Such desires demanded that they break into the masculine
public sphere, claim it for their own, and thereby neuter the notion of gender-appropriate spheres. However, many leaders who were particularly effective in the nineteenth century strategically disguised the fact that gender was a concept with which they wished to dispense. If, as Judith Butler has argued, all gender is performance, most of the heroes of this book can be said to have performed the role of woman
while conducting their battles to invade the public spaces belonging to men.
These women also recognized that the category of gender was artificial and as changeable as dress,
as Carroll Smith-Rosenberg phrased it with regard to modernist women. But they were quite the reverse of certain female inverts of the working class in their day, who claimed men’s privileges by literally changing their dress and traversing the world in men’s drag. By donning women’s drag (both literally and figuratively), many of the pioneers concealed their intent to claim male privileges. They believed that they must perform woman
publicly in order to change what woman
meant. Yet in private, traditional gender notions had little meaning for them.
It was in fact these women’s secret understanding of the sham of gender roles that fueled the movements that eventually gave women the vote, the right to a higher education and a profession, and the power of influence over public policy. But because most of them believed—with justification—that their society was not ready for unalloyed radical approaches, they often argued that changes in woman’s sphere were necessary not because women were just like men and gender was an absurd notion, but precisely because women were different from men. With essentialist arguments—which their own lives patently contradicted—their strategy was to proclaim that women’s special gifts were desperately needed in the muddle of nineteenth- and early twentieth-century society. For example, they claimed a place for females in politics by insisting that women should have more say in public policy because they were morally superior
to men. Though few of these leaders were biological mothers, they insisted that if the influence of the mother-heart,
which (they publicly declared) was intrinsic to all women, were expanded to spheres outside the home, everyone would profit.
They did not call attention to what they certainly understood: that once woman
succeeded in moving into the public sphere, the constructed category of woman
—as a domestic being—would be altered beyond recognition. The rights and privileges they were demanding in the name of woman
and her moral superiority
had the potential to revolutionize (and eventually did revolutionize) the way woman
was conceptualized.
These women’s refusal to characterize their discontent as gender trouble gave them one more reason not to identify with the sexologists’ depiction of women like them as inverts. Nevertheless, case histories of female sexual inverts often described these pioneering women quite precisely, their public masquerade notwithstanding. As Krafft-Ebing depicted the female sexual invert, even in childhood she preferred male
occupations, the rocking horse, playing at soldiers, etc., to dolls and other girlish occupations. The toilet is neglected and tough boyish manners are affected.
The sexologists could not move beyond their fixed notion of appropriate gender behavior and its inevitability, even in childhood, in those they deemed normal.
Thus they would surely have considered a woman such as Susan B. Anthony to be abnormal—inverted
—since she envied male freedoms and resented the limitations foisted on women. Anthony bitterly complained that beginning in girlhood, the female was sacrificed to clean clothes, glossy curls and fair complexions.
She characterized this fictive yet autobiographical girl as wishing she could be a boy like my brother, so I would wear long boots and thick pantaloons, romp on the lawn, play ball, climb trees.
The sexologists made precisely such sentiments central to their definition of female sexual inversion. If they had seen Anthony’s letters concerning her women lovers,
they would have had no doubt whatsoever that she was a textbook specimen of an invert.
Almost all of the women discussed in this book experienced inverted feelings
(as the sexologists would have dubbed them) such as Anthony’s. If sexual inversion
signified discontent with women’s roles, envy of the broader possibilities that men had claimed for themselves, and love of other females who would succor them and help them fight their battles, these women were indeed sexual inverts. Yet they did not want to be men, as the sexologists claimed, as much as they wanted the rights and privileges their society had accorded to men alone.
Obviously, my valorization of these women’s leadership is not meant to imply that there were no heterosexual women leaders in the nineteenth and early twentieth centuries. However, heterosexuality is almost always a tacit assumption we make about those whose actions have been socially useful or heroic. By emphasizing what I call the lesbian presence
in movements that have bettered America, I aim to bring to the forefront what has been unfairly neglected and for too long unspoken.
PART I
HOW AMERICAN WOMEN GOT ENFRANCHISED
2
The Loves and Living Arrangements of Nineteenth-Century Suffrage Leaders
I shall go to Chicago & visit my new lover—dear Mrs. [Emily] Gross—en route to Kansas. So with new hope & new life . . .
—Susan B. Anthony
FROM ITS INCEPTION, women’s fight for the vote was largely led by women who loved other women. It was a grueling battle. As Carrie Chapman Catt, the leading spokesperson at the time the Nineteenth Amendment was passed, summed it up, success was won only after 56 state referendum campaigns, 480 legislative campaigns for state suffrage amendments, 47 state constitutional conventional campaigns, 277 state party convention campaigns to get suffrage planks in the party platforms, and so forth and so on. What Catt did not say in her dry summation was how many female couples (including herself and her partner, Mollie Hay) were in the forefront of the struggle, and how their intimate relations helped them endure and stay focused on their elusive goal through years of discouragement.
In view of the distrust of marriage that was prevalent among so many of the woman suffrage pioneers, as well as their era’s disdain for illicit
heterosexual relationships and illegitimate
pregnancy, which was a danger of loving a man out of wedlock, where could these leaders have turned for intimacy and succor if not to one another? To whom else could they have trusted themselves? Where could they lay down their shields? As Susan B. Anthony wrote to Anna Dickinson, her Dear Anna Dicky Darly [sic],
she needed Anna to help soothe her when she was exhausted by the frays of her public battles. The relationship renewed her, she told Anna: Somehow your very breath gives me new hope and new life.
She understood that Anna too needed encouragement, and she coaxed the younger woman from her dark moods by sweet blandishments: "Ah, Anna, your mission will brighten and beautify every day if you will but keep the eye of your own spirit turned within . . . [where] that precious jewel of truth is to be sought—and formed—And darling—you will find it & speak it, and live it—and all men and women will call you blessed. Such often-reiterated support, which was frequently peppered with what we might today call sexy and reassuring flirtation, was vital to pioneering women who regularly faced the hostilities of those who saw them as
unsexed or
grim." To know they were not so to each other gave them the emotional fuel to carry on the tiring and often lonely battle.
Overcoming Real
Women
Throughout the woman suffrage movement, antisuffrage women insisted that real women neither wanted nor needed to be enfranchised. Even when both houses of Congress had already passed an amendment that required only state ratification before equal suffrage became the law of the land, the antis
were still insisting, as the female officers of the Michigan Association Opposed to Woman Suffrage declared, that, as women, we do not want the strife, bitterness, falsification and publicity which accompany political campaigns. We women are not suffering at the hands of our fathers, husbands, and brothers because they protect us in our homes. . . . Keep mother, wife, and sister in the protected home.
Unlike them, the women who are the focus of this book eschewed the protected home
for themselves. They actively sought the strife of worldly engagement from which female antisuffragists, who typically presented themselves as the true women,
in keeping with the Victorian construction of that concept, claimed to wish to be sheltered. They relied on each other rather than on fathers, husbands, and brothers. Because they would never be represented in civil matters by a spouse, women’s enfranchisement was crucial to them—indeed, a sine qua non, since all other progress for which they worked, such as higher education and entrance into the professions, would be meaningless if women continued to be second-class citizens.
In the hostile nineteenth-century media, these women were not described as lesbians but rather as females who were manlike, or unsexed.
Despite the pioneers’ common ploy—their argument that women needed the vote to extend moral housekeeping and nurturance to society—the media often emphasized their gender-inappropriate
wishes for a place at the polls alongside men. Newspapers and journals dramatized the point by accusing those whose appearance was not conventionally feminine of being male. For example, the St. Louis Dispatch meanly proclaimed that Sojourner Truth, an African-American abolitionist and women’s rights advocate, is the name of a man now lecturing in Kansas City.
(Tired of such repeated slanders, Truth bared her breast on the lecture platform at a women’s rights convention in Indiana.)
The accusation that suffragists were unsexed was intended to be a weapon of denigration that would discourage other women from joining the movement, but obviously it also revealed the widespread fear that suffrage would actually threaten a woman’s biological capacities and thus—the argument expanded in geometric proportions—the future of the human race. The New York Herald, for example, used the term to indicate disgust with the minister Antoinette Brown and her cheering audience of five thousand at a national suffrage convention in 1853, a gathering of unsexed women, unsexed in mind, all of them publicly propounding the doctrine that they should be allowed to step out of their appropriate sphere to the neglect of those duties which both human and divine law have assigned them.
The reporter’s tirade concluded with the hysterical question, Is the world to be depopulated?
Such allegations would surely have been difficult for any woman to bear, but the sting must have been especially painful for heterosexual women whose very stock in trade was their ability to present themselves to men as womanly. It is possible that for a time many women turned away from the suffrage movement because they feared working with unsexed
women and becoming unsexed
themselves.
There were, of course, married women and women who hoped to be married in the suffrage movement from its inception. Some, such as Elizabeth Cady Stanton, were even among the most unladylike and unconventional of the suffragists; her husband and seven children notwithstanding, Stanton saucily declared in the mid-nineteenth century, It is a settled maxim with me that the existing public sentiment on any subject is wrong.
But for the most part, women who intended to make their lives with other women rather than placing themselves on the marriage market had greater freedom in asserting leadership within the suffrage movement: they could feel that they had much less to lose if they were called unsexed than the average woman, who depended for sustenance, emotional and otherwise, on men.
There were also, of course, men who actively supported suffrage for women and to whom such allegations would not have mattered. Yet the problems in being a heterosexual suffrage leader, even if married to a supportive man, remained complex. Nineteenth-century wifehood and motherhood were not compatible with work for the cause. For example, the suffragist leader Lucy Stone married Henry Blackwell when she was thirty-seven years old. Eight months later, the suffragist orator Antoinette Brown married Henry’s brother, Samuel. Both of the women’s careers in the suffrage movement came to a standstill for a long while.
They did not cease working because their husbands opposed suffrage. In fact, Henry Blackwell convinced Lucy Stone to marry him in 1855 by promising that he would work by her side for women’s enfranchisement, and he was true to his word. Yet neither he nor Lucy could foresee her societally inculcated guilt, which the marriage brought to the surface. Lucy continued her active career in the suffrage movement right after her daughter, Alice, was born, in 1857. However, when she lost a second child in 1859, she became so anxious about Alice’s well-being that she gave up her work for the next seven years in order to be a full-time mother. Though she was again an important figure in the suffrage movement by the end of the 1860s, Lucy’s correspondence with her husband indicates that she felt uneasy because she was not a better homemaker. Henry Blackwell also felt guilty, as Alice reported after her mother died in 1893: Papa . . . has been blaming himself for marrying mamma at all. He says he spoiled her career.
Whether Henry Blackwell’s guilt was at all merited, Alice, who also became a suffrage activist, apparently believed that there was some justice in his self-accusation. She herself chose other women as her loves and never married.
Susan B. Anthony (who declared to her diary when she was eighteen, I think any female would rather live and die an old maid
) was horrified when strong suffragists were lost to the cause through the effects of heterosexual marriage. When Antoinette Brown married Samuel Blackwell in 1856, her career as a lecturer for suffrage came to a halt for eighteen years while she busied herself bearing seven children and raising the five who survived infancy. Anthony foresaw such dangers to the movement; in terms that were only nominally joking, she wrote to Antoinette after the second pregnancy in 1858, Not another baby, is my peremptory command.
But obviously Susan Anthony had no control over what went on in the Blackwells’ bedroom.
Similarly, when Ida Wells, the African-American woman suffrage and civil rights leader whom Anthony had befriended and supported, became Mrs. F. L. Barnett in 1895 and then had two babies, Anthony could not hide her distress. Wells reported in her autobiography that when she was Anthony’s houseguest in the course of a lecture tour that took her to Rochester, New York, Anthony would bite out my married name in addressing me.
Finally Wells asked her, Don’t you believe in women getting married?
Anthony answered, Oh yes, but not women like you who had a special call for special work. . . . You are distracted over the thought that maybe [your eleven-month-old baby] is not being looked after as he would if you were there, and that makes for a divided duty.
The most consistently effective early suffrage leaders had no such divided duty.
A Closer Union Than That of Most Marriages
: Female Couples Among the Early Suffragists
Many of the early leaders of the suffrage cause began their careers as abolitionists. In 1840, eight women who had been involved in the American antislavery movement hoped to attend the World’s Anti-Slavery Convention in London as delegates, but the convention voted to ban them from participating. The women claimed that the experience was an epiphany for them, malting them understand that they, like the enslaved Africans whose freedom they worked to procure, had been kept socially and legally inferior to white men. They did not give up their abolitionist sentiments, but their frustration led two of the rejected delegates, Lucretia Mott and Elizabeth Cady Stanton, to call a convention of their own, devoted to women’s rights, in 1848. Other frustrated female delegates to the world antislavery meeting, such as Mary Grew, joined them. Out of that meeting in Seneca Falls the women’s rights movement was born.
Female same-sex love was common among this first generation of social activists, but regardless of whether such relationships were sexual, they were usually characterized as romantic friendships.
Mary Grew, for example, described her life with Margaret Burleigh in such terms in 1892, just after Burleigh’s death, when Grew responded to a condolence letter from the younger suffragist Isabel Howland:
Your words respecting my beloved friend touch me deeply. Evidently you understood her fine character; & you comprehended and appreciated, as few persons do, the nature of the relation which existed, which exists [still, despite the death of Burleigh’s body] between her and myself. . . . To me it seems to have been a closer union than that of most marriages. We know that there have been other such between two men, & also between two women. And why should there not be. Love is spiritual, only passion is sexual.
Since Howland was herself romantically involved with women, Grew’s conviction that Howland comprehended and appreciated
her relationship with Burleigh as few persons do
may have conveyed a special recognition between them of an unnamed identity. Under the guise of romantic friendships, such relationships might still be widely condoned in the nineteenth century. They were acknowledged by many observers as an affection passing the love of men.
Both Grew and Burleigh were revered among abolitionist and suffrage women. Grew was for many years a high official in anti-slavery societies. She was an especially powerful speaker for the cause and had successfully challenged the early prohibition within the movement—shared even by her abolitionist father—on women speaking in mixed gatherings. Like most female antislavery lecturers who were agents for the American Anti-Slavery Society, she never married in the conventional sense, but she lived most of her adult life with Margaret Burleigh, a schoolteacher. Burleigh also worked closely with Grew, both in the antislavery movement and for women’s rights. After the Civil War, in 1865, they fought side by side against the move to disband the Pennsylvania Anti-Slavery Society, on whose executive committee they both served. Their argument was radical at the time: the society’s work had not finished with the Emancipation Proclamation, they insisted, but needed to continue until the constitutional amendments granting the former slaves full citizenship were ratified.
To their abolitionist and suffrage acquaintances, Mary and Margaret made no secret of the fact that they shared both a home and a bed. Nor did they hide from their friends their general distrust of heterosexual relations and the married state. To young William Lloyd Garrison II, who was contemplating marriage, Mary preached, When I say that I think you are qualified to be a good husband, I think I say a great deal, for that manner of man is rare.
Even well-intentioned men failed at matrimony, she said, because of the low ideal of a wife’s position . . . [and] the marriage relation,
a relation from which she believed she was saved through her union
with Margaret Burleigh.
Once Grew turned to the cause of women’s rights, she became a leading figure in that movement as well. She fought successfully for a married woman’s property law in Pennsylvania. She was the founding president of the Pennsylvania Woman Suffrage Association in 1869 and continued as president until 1892, and she became the national president of the American Woman Suffrage Association in 1887. Almost until her death at the age of eighty-three, she was a dynamic and popular speaker for social causes. The suffragist Emily Howland (Isabel’s aunt) spoke of the admiration of Grew’s fellow workers in the movement in summing up her life on her eightieth birthday, in 1893: The largesse of life is yours, dowered with a brain alive to the issues of your time and heart aglow with service for truth, blessed with a friendship as rare as the friend [Margaret Burleigh] was noble—your joy is all immortal.
As much as the old maid
was reviled outside the women’s rights movement, those within believed that in a life such as Grew and Burleigh shared, nothing was missing.
How the Suffrage Movement Got Off the Ground: Susan B. Anthony
Susan B. Anthony began her public career as a lecturer for the American Anti-Slavery Society and the temperance movement. She turned to the cause of women’s rights in 1852, after being denied permission to speak at a temperance rally because she was a woman. As a result of that experience, she helped form an all-women’s temperance organization, and there began her close working relationship with Elizabeth Cady Stanton. Stanton led Anthony even further into women’s rights issues as they began organizing state and national women’s rights conventions and presenting formal demands to the New York legislature for improvement of that state’s laws on married women’s property. Before they could begin their daily work, however, Anthony had to help the overburdened Stanton with housekeeping and care of her seven children so they might, as Anthony described it, sit up far into the night preparing our ammunition and getting ready to move on the enemy.
Their relationship was not simply a working one. Though a wife and mother, Stanton characterized it in terms that were almost romantic and revealed the depth of emotion that spurred them on in their shared work: So closely interwoven have been our lives, our purposes, and experiences that [when] separated, we have a feeling of incompleteness.
She provocatively quipped about her love for Susan Anthony, I prefer a tyrant of my own sex, so I shall not deny the patent fact of my subjection; for I do believe that I have developed into much more of a woman under her jurisdiction.
Though Stanton was as committed to suffrage as Anthony, she was less mobile than her friend, who did not have responsibility for a husband and numerous children. Anthony could more easily travel for the cause. In the years after the Civil War, it was she who could invest the most time in working for an amendment to the Constitution that would grant suffrage to all American women and not just to the male freedmen.
In