Our Man in Havana
4/5
()
About this ebook
James Wormold, a cash-strapped vacuum cleaner salesman in Havana, finds the answer to his prayers when British Intelligence offers him a lucrative job as an undercover agent. To keep the checks coming, Wormold must at least pretend to know what he’s doing. Soon, he’s apparently deciphering incomprehensible codes, passing along sketches of secret weapons that look suspiciously like vacuum parts, and claiming to recruit fellow operatives from his country club, all to create the perfect picture of intrigue.
But when MI6 dispatches a secretary to oversee his endeavors, Wormold fears his carelessly fabricated world will come undone. Instead, it all comes true. Somehow, he’s become the target of an assassin, and it’s going to take more than a fib to get out of Cuba alive. Her Majesty’s man in Havana may have to resort to spying.
Named one of the 20 Best Spy Novels of All Time by the Telegraph and adapted into the classic 1959 comedy starring Alec Guinness, Our Man in Havana is “high-comic mayhem . . . weirdly undated . . . [and] bizarrely prescient” (Christopher Buckley, New York Times–bestselling author).
Graham Greene
Graham Greene (1904–1991) is recognized as one of the most important writers of the twentieth century, achieving both literary acclaim and popular success. His best known works include Brighton Rock, The Heart of the Matter, The Quiet American, and The Power and the Glory. After leaving Oxford, Greene first pursued a career in journalism before dedicating himself full-time to writing with his first big success, Stamboul Train. He became involved in screenwriting and wrote adaptations for the cinema as well as original screenplays, the most successful being The Third Man. Religious, moral, and political themes are at the root of much of his work, and throughout his life he traveled to some of the wildest and most volatile parts of the world, which provided settings for his fiction. Greene was a member of the Order of Merit and a Companion of Honour.
Read more from Graham Greene
The Power and the Glory Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Brighton Rock Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Orient Express Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Quiet American Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Heart of the Matter Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Travels with My Aunt Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The End of the Affair Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Journey Without Maps Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The Ministry of Fear Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Twenty-One Stories Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Confidential Agent Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Loser Takes All Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The Comedians Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Eleven Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A Gun for Sale Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A Sense of Reality: Stories Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A Burnt-Out Case Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Captain and the Enemy Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The Lawless Roads Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The Man Within Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5It's a Battlefield Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The Collected Novels Volume Two: The Heart of the Matter, The Quiet American, and The Power and the Glory Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Collected Novels Volume Three: Orient Express, It's a Battlefield, and A Gun for Sale Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Collected Novels Volume One: Brighton Rock, The End of the Affair, and Our Man in Havana Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5May We Borrow Your Husband?: & Other Comedies of the Sexual Life Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Collected Novels Volume Five: A Burnt-Out Case, The Captain and the Enemy, The Comedians, and The Man Within Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Related to Our Man in Havana
Related ebooks
Travels with My Aunt Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Ministry of Fear Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Confidential Agent Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The End of the Affair Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Comedians Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Underworld: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A Gun for Sale Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Man Within Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The Naked and the Dead: 50th Anniversary Edition, With a New Introduction by the Author Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Old Man and the Sea: The Hemingway Library Edition Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Constant Gardener: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Twenty-One Stories Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Steppenwolf: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Loser Takes All Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5For Whom the Bell Tolls: The Hemingway Library Edition Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Bonfire of the Vanities: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Wonder Boys Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Big Sleep Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Jungle: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5In the Lake of the Woods: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5All the Names Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Single & Single: A Novel Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Gorky Park Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5God's Favorite: A Novel Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5May We Borrow Your Husband?: & Other Comedies of the Sexual Life Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsClosing Time: The Sequel to Catch-22 Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5A Most Wanted Man Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A Burnt-Out Case Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Smilla's Sense of Snow: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A Farewell to Arms Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Thrillers For You
The 7 1/2 Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Perfect Marriage: A Completely Gripping Psychological Suspense Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Only Good Indians Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Leave the World Behind: A Novel Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Rock Paper Scissors: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Sympathizer: A Novel (Pulitzer Prize for Fiction) Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Pretty Girls: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Paris Apartment: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Animal Farm Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Eyes of the Dragon Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I'm Thinking of Ending Things: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Dark Tower I: The Gunslinger Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Institute: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Fairy Tale Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Razorblade Tears: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Housemaid Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Girl Who Was Taken: A Gripping Psychological Thriller Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Family Upstairs: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Long Walk Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Last Flight: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Hidden Pictures: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Lying Game: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Pet Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Mr. Mercedes: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Mr. Penumbra's 24-Hour Bookstore: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Cryptonomicon Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Shantaram: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Finders Keepers: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Maidens: A Novel Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5We Have Always Lived in the Castle Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5
Related categories
Reviews for Our Man in Havana
1,247 ratings64 reviews
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Graceless, gormless Wormold, a British sales agent for an American vacuum cleaner company in barely pre-Revolution Havana, has a problem. His adolescent daughter Milly, a manipulative and materialistic minx, spends well beyond his paltry earnings in her quest to ensnare the Red Vulture. That's a person, not a bird, one Captain Segura, who is the police torturer and possessor of a cigarette case covered in human skin. (An assertion Milly makes but Segura denies.) Wormold is fighting a losing battle, trying to sell a home appliance that's less useful than a broom in a country that's teetering on the brink of collapse. The power goes off too often to make it a sensible purchase, despite Wormold's trips to Cienfuegos (the Cuban Navy's main port) and points east (where the Revolutionary Army is strongest) to drum up business. What he *does* drum up is the interest of the state security apparatus. You see, Wormold is a British spy.Good heavens, not a real one! He was worrying his way through a daily daiquiri with his German friend Dr. Hasselbacher when a Brit called Hawthorne inveigles him into the bathroom. That sounds, well, louche is I suppose the least offensive term, but it's what happens so have a séance and take it up with Greene if it's too sordid for you. What Hawthorne wants, I suppose, is a reason to visit Havana from his base in more-staid Kingston, Jamaica. (In 1958, when the book takes place, Havana was the Las Vegas of the Caribbean.) It also doesn't hurt his standing with MI6 to have a sub-agent in uneasy, revolution-bound Cuba. Wormold gets the nod, though to be honest I don't see a single reason why...oh wait...Milly the Minx is spending Daddy into bankruptcy (her initial salvo when we meet her is to demand a horse to go with the saddle she's just bought) so of course Wormold is in need of funds. Money always talks to men with debts. From that match-to-fuse moment, a farce of atomic power begins to whirl from one end of the world to the other. Some sage adivce given to Wormold by WWI veteran Hasselbacher, to make his reports to London out of whole cloth on the principle that no one can disprove a lie, leads to Wormold's entire life being turned upside down. As he hurries from fire to fire atop an ever-increasing reactor fire of anxiety-into-terror, Wormold's lies begin to morph into the truth. Hawthorne's sub-agent becomes London's Agent of the Month, so to speak, as the wildly inventive reports he files bear fruit. As the book was written long before the events of the Missile Crisis, it really seems as though Greene was prescient: He has Wormold invent secret bases where mysterious equipment (drawings attached to his report were actually of a scaled-up vacuum cleaner) was being assembled. MI6 wants photos, of course; Raul the pilot (an invented sub-agent of Wormold's) suddenly dies in a crash. This is evidence that Wormold is onto something, obviously.More and more of Wormold's fabulous reports are borne out as his "contacts" begin to suffer for his lies. Wormold himself comes in for assassination by the Other Side! He averts his fate, being a devout coward, and then has to do the worst-imaginable thing to escape his fate. (Read it, you'll see.) In the end, Greene can't design a better fate for Wormold and Milly than the one he puts on the page. It's perfect, it flows naturally from what's happened in the story, and it's hilarious. The humor of this book, like most of Greene's work, is dark to black. Be warned that there is little of this sixty-year-old send-up of National Security run amok that isn't viewable as critical of the State from 2019's perspective as well. Is that sad or inevitable, or perhaps both?My favorite moment in the story comes when Wormold, busily inventing actions for his fictitious sub-agents to get up to, muses on the creative process:Sometimes he was scared at the way these people grew in the dark without his knowledge.Beautifully said, Author Greene. Just beautiful. And so very true.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Greene takes our unlikely spy on a mission in pre-Castro cuba
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Excellent book. Graham Greene is one of my favourite authors. His prose flows very well, his dialogue is witty, his characters are lively. This spy spoof in Cuba brings a lighthearted poke at the genre.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5A fine book.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5A divorced father with a demanding and manipulative teenage daughter and an iffy vacuum cleaner business in Havana, Wormold takes to spying for British Intelligence. He’s mainly in it for the money though, and quickly learns to manipulate the system, filing expense reports for fabricated agents and sources, which necessitates fabricating intelligence. He’s so successful that he’s sent a secretary and radio operator, the quicker to get the reports out. He soon makes enemies while some of his fake intel appears to be coming true.Graham Greene manages to humanize and squeeze humor out of the dark side of Wormold’s spying business, despite some actual danger. Nobody turns out quite as bad as first seems, except some you wouldn’t expect.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Loved it! Great short mystery story with comedy and interesting characters.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5When an unassuming British vacuum salesman, living in Havana, is offered a side job with England's secret service he must acquiesce. Mr. Wormold has no desire to become a spy but his teenage daughter has drained his bank account and with spotty power lines the vacuum business is not a bustling one. He goes about being a spy in a most unconventional manner and it has dire consequences.I found this book very entertaining and quite humorous. A fun read which is much more than I expected. Greene captures the hot and steamy Caribbean atmosphere, pre-revolution, and populates it with well defined characters. Aside from the laughable moments, Greene is also uncannily prophetic for when it comes to fake news and a potential missile crisis, he's already got it covered. I highly recommend this quick read.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I'm very disappointed this book isn't on my 1001 Books list. But, it was so good - funny and prescient - that I can forgive it. I bought it because of the Penguin Classics cover (not the one shown here) which turned out to be a good reason! It's a short read, as many mid/early 20th century novels are. Highly recommended.
- Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5Humoristisch spionageverhaal, met een typische Greene-ondertoon. Vooral stilering Wormold, als man die tegen zijn zin en kunde in een onmogelijke situatie komt en daar nog uit weggeraakt. Typisch Greene-thema van de verantwoordelijkheid (en het geweten).
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Graham Greene obviously had fun writing this wonderfully satiric send-up of the espionage business. I smiled through most of the book, and often laughed aloud ... and yet the story never veers so far into farce that the reader is able to entirely forget the very real events in Russia and Cuba that made espionage a necessary evil during this perilous moment in world history. Because this IS Graham Greene, the character development is a step above the norm: the main character, Wormold, is delightfully unexpected; his daughter is engagingly manipulative; and even the corrupt chief of police, a man who carries around a cigarette case fashioned from human skin, turns out to be something more than the cartoon characiture of a bad guy that he might have become in a less gifted author's hands. And it's not only espionage that falls victim to Greene's wit: he also throws satiric darts at such deserving targets as Catholicism, Americans, Cuban culture, and do-gooder international organizations, to name a few.In summary, thoroughly recommend this to anyone who enjoys their humor with a dose of intellectualism. I've read it twice already, and can imagine picking it up again sometime in the future!
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A fairly gentle 'romp' through the world of 'pretend' espionage. Set and written quite a few years back it is hardly a hard-hitting novel, but I don't think that was ever intended. A few giggles, but not belly laughs -but for all this an amusing read.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Graham Greene seemed to enjoy setting traps for his characters. I don't suppose that that's too uncommon among thriller writers, but Greene was also a good enough writer to make his characters into real, likable people rather than mere plot-driven puppets. "Our Man in Havana" is, by any measure, a good book, but I found watching poor Jim Wormold get painted into a corner by his own opportunistic untruths to be a distinctly uncomfortable experience. Still, there are other reasons to read this one. Greene seems to be using the flashy, fast-talking Hawthorne to poke fun at the cloak-and-dagger genre, and his portrayal of young MIlly Wormold's Catholicism is wonderfully open to interpretation. The novel's real attraction might be its setting, Cuba on the edge of Castro's revolution. It's hard not to read about Cuba without getting a hint of somebody's nostalgia, but the Havana that Greene describes here seems impossibly far away, separated, as it is, from the contemporary reader by both time and politics. Greene's describes it here as an infinitely corrupt place whose amusements are dimmed by the main character's sadness and attachment to his own past. "Our Man in Havana" has an ending right out of a movie, but it's still recommended to readers who like sad tales from sunny places.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Graham Greene's entertainments are very much alike, just like Dick Francis mystery novels. But they are so much better than Dick Francis novels.This entertainment is particularly enjoyable. It contains all the usual Greene tropes assembled in the most appealing manner. The characters are thin and tremendously enjoyable. The dialogue is drily witty and occasionally hilarious. There are tragic deaths and miserable lives. Minor characters are, inevitably, killed but not for the usual Hollywood reasons. Rather their deaths are utterly tragic and symbolic of the casualties of global conflict. There are cynical policemen and alcoholics of every profession. As in "The Ministry of Fear" and "The Third Man" the protagonist's minor actions set into motion important and inevitably tragic events. He gets the girl, but soberly, and in a mad, arbitrary, and merciless world.Jeremy Northam's reading is excellent.
- Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5Humoristisch spionageverhaal, met een typische Greene-ondertoon. Vooral stilering Wormold, als man die tegen zijn zin en kunde in een onmogelijke situatie komt en daar nog uit weggeraakt. Typisch Greene-thema van de verantwoordelijkheid (en het geweten).
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Mr. Wormold is British. He lives in Cuba with his daughter. He sells vacuum cleaners. He is not very successful. Life is dull. Then Mr. Wormold becomes 'our man in Cuba'. Recruited by the British Secret Service because he was in the right bar at the right time (or was it the wrong bar at the wrong time?), Wormold now has to adjust to the life as a spy on foreign ground. Not knowing anything about the intelligence business he fakes reports to his superiors in London, invents subagents and makes a fair living doing this. But then his invented agents start being involved in 'accidents' and his fake reports begin to have an effect on reality.Among the reasons I like this book is the great set of characters. There is the vacuum cleaner salesman turned spy Wormold, his daughter Milly who is especially Catholic when in need of a favor, the German Dr Hasselbacher who still finds the time to see a few patients while drinking the rest of the day, a brutal Cuban police captain who divides people into a 'torturable' and a 'non-torturable' class, and secretary Beatrice who falls in love with Wormold on first sight. This makes for a cast for a humorously written Cuban spy story that manages to entertain as well as to criticize. Greene succeeds in taking his readers to 1958 Havana and experience Cuba, the spy business and one small character finding his way in the big intelligence arena. Greene probably gave one of the best fitting descriptions of Our Man in Havana himself when he said that it "was potentially a very funny plot which if it comes off will make a footnote to history."Our Man in Havana is a great novel. It made we want to know more about Wormold, read more stories about him. It made me want to go to Havana. I love it when a book does that to me. 4.5 stars.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5An enjoyable, though dated (early 50s), story of a British vacumn cleaner salesman in Havana, who is enlisted by British Intelligence to report on the goings-on of various people he may be in contact with. Needing money to keep his 17 y.o. daughter in style, he takes the money and makes up various "contacts" who report to him -- also making up the information. Things start getting out of hand when some of his "reports" get the attention of the "others" whoever they may be and people start dying or almost dying. Not exactly a laugh a minute, but interesting in sort of spy versus spy, slightly sarcastic way.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A wonderful story of an anti-hero caught up in circumstances. Kind of a serious Walter Mitty. A great read.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Jim Wormold is an ordinary guy, struggling to make enough money to provide all the things his teen-aged daughter wants. As a Brit living in Havana, he gets recruited by secret service and can't pass up the salary. But, he doesn't know how to be a spy, so he makes up his reports and his agents. Then, things begin getting out of control....Very funny, with very human characters.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Great times. I like my comedy deadened with a bit of despair about the world, and here it is. Why he calls this an 'entertainment' is beyond me; it seems to have almost as much reflection about morality and politics and religion as any of his 'serious' novels. Highly recommended.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I have never been disappointed by anything Graham Greene has written. This book has everything. Adventure...espionage and humor.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Very funny and well written. A vacuum cleaner salesman in Havana (pre revolution) is recruited by the British Secret Service to be a spy and recruit his own sub network of spies - for which he can claim expenses and income. Not set up to really be a spy, he takes advice from a friend and just makes it all up. Sometimes with little scraps of truth but more often just entirely ficticious. It all seems to be ok until his bosses back in London, and their enemies in Moscow, Washington, etc, all start believing him.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
So many great lines... "You are interested in a person, not in life, and people die or leave us.... But if you are interested in life it never lets you down. I am interested in the blueness of cheese." - Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Not a bad book by any means, but the 150-page set-up seemed to be really excessive when compared to the 50-page climax. Overall, it was a clever, humorous take on the ultra-serious world of international espionage. I don't say this very often (ever?), but I think this book would have worked better as a short story.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5This is the first Graham Greene I've ever read, and I'm sorry I waited this long. I can see how he certainly influenced Le Carre, not just in his genre, but in his straightforward, solid style. Not a lot of wasted words here, but vivid nonetheless. I almost felt as if I were watching movie while reading this, though this apparently was not one of his novels that were originally film treatments.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5James Wormold is a vacuum cleaner salesman in 1950s Cuba. Wormold is unable to say no to his daughter, Milly, and her extravagances are driving him to bankruptcy. When an MI6 agent named Hawthorne approaches Wormold with an offer of spy work, he accepts and is given the code name 59200/5. Unfortunately, he has no useful information. Desperate for the money, he makes up intelligence based on newspaper reports, which the British fall for. Seeing an opportunity, Wormold takes names from a list of country club members and invents an imaginary network of sources, all of whom need paying.
Wormold begins to send fake reports, mainly about a weapons-system "currently being developed" by the Cubans. London is shocked and surprised. Before long, things get out of control. Covert sub-agents, both those whose names were just taken from the Country Club directory, as well as those living only in Wormold's imagination, begin to die and suffer attacks. Reinforcements come from London. Wormold is in a panic now and doesn't know what to do.
Our Man in Havana can be read as a both a thriller and a satirical comedy. It's a fascinating look at the human condition, as well as international intrigue and the spy world. This entertaining novel is enjoyable reading for anyone who wants to understand the fifties, the Cold War, and the Cuban Revolution. - Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I'm not familiar with satire or spy novels, but I still got a lot of enjoyment out of this.
- Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5Nice start. Typical Greene characters: expat vacuum cleaner salesman plodding thru Cuban life, one hyperCatholic countryclubing teen daughter, and one German drinking friend. Then the caricatures start: the Brit secret agent, the head of intelligence without any, the MI6 Miss Moneypennyesque bureaucrat, and most sketchily drawn, the evil Cuban torture chief.
Now, a bit of a spoiler:
Torture for the reader begins when the new woman from the agency arrives (knows French--close enough for Intelligence work). A Brit comedy of bad manners ensues starting with the soda water episode and the torturer. We know the book will end badly at that point.
Codes get more complicated, agents die, and the atomic vacuum cleaner blasts off. Our expat is almost poisoned but, as must in a comedy, all ends well with salary, marriage, England, and finishing school for the daughter.
Probably sounds funnier than it is. BTW, best scene is MI6 reviewing the vacuum cleaner plans sent by secret diplomatic pouch early in the book. - Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Equal parts funny and tragic, a vacuum salesman gets drafted into MI-6 in Cuba. Pre-Castro Cuba.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Greene's classic spy comedy offers an entertaining comment on the farcial business of foreign intelligence and spycraft. So much information is publicly available that it surpasses clandestine information in quantity and quality. Secrecy does not improve information quality. It makes it vulnerable to all kinds of curveballs.The author also had a keen nose for a rotten regime, setting the story in Cuba just before the Cuban revolution revealed the fragility of Fulgencio Batista's regime. Greene sets up a wonderful cast of protagonist types whose predictable behavior still doesn't prematurely reveal the plot. Recommended.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Classic cold war spy satire. A quick, light, fun yet very rewarding, witty and enlightening book.
Book preview
Our Man in Havana - Graham Greene
PART ONE
CHAPTER 1
1
‘That nigger going down the street,’ said Dr Hasselbacher standing in the Wonder Bar, ‘he reminds me of you, Mr Wormold.’ It was typical of Dr Hasselbacher that after fifteen years of friendship he still used the prefix Mr—friendship proceeded with the slowness and assurance of a careful diagnosis. On Wormold’s death-bed, when Dr Hasselbacher came to feel his failing pulse, he would perhaps become Jim.
The Negro was blind in one eye and one leg was shorter than the other; he wore an ancient felt hat and his ribs showed through his torn shirt like a ship’s under demolition. He walked at the edge of the pavement, beyond the yellow and pink pillars of a colonade, in the hot January sun, and he counted every step as he went. As he passed the Wonder Bar, going up Virdudes, he had reached ‘1,369’. He had to move slowly to give time for so long a numeral. ‘One thousand three hundred and seventy.’ He was a familiar figure near the National Square, where he would sometimes linger and stop his counting long enough to sell a packet of pornographic photographs to a tourist. Then he would take up his count where he had left it. At the end of the day, like an energetic passenger on a trans-Atlantic liner, he must have known to a yard how far he had walked.
‘Joe?’ Wormold asked. ‘I don’t see any resemblance. Except the limp, of course,’ but instinctively he took a quick look at himself in the mirror marked Cerveza Tropical, as though he might really have been so broken down and darkened during his walk from the store in the old town. But the face which looked back at him was only a little discoloured by the dust from the harbour-works; it was still the same, anxious and criss-crossed and fortyish; much younger than Dr Hasselbacher’s, yet a stranger might have felt certain it would be extinguished sooner—the shadow was there already, the anxieties which are beyond the reach of a tranquillizer. The Negro limped out of sight, round the corner of the Paseo. The day was full of bootblacks.
‘I didn’t mean the limp. You don’t see the likeness?’
‘No.’
‘He’s got two ideas in his head,’ Dr Hasselbacher explained, ‘to do his job and to keep count. And, of course, he’s British.’
‘I still don’t see …’ Wormold cooled his mouth with his morning daiquiri. Seven minutes to get to the Wonder Bar: seven minutes back to the store: six minutes for companionship. He looked at his watch. He remembered that it was one minute slow.
‘He’s reliable, you can depend on him, that’s all I meant,’ said Dr Hasselbacher with impatience. ‘How’s Milly?’
‘Wonderful,’ Wormold said. It was his invariable answer, but he meant it.
‘Seventeen on the seventeenth, eh?’
‘That’s right.’ He looked quickly over his shoulder as though somebody were hunting him and then at his watch again. ‘You’ll be coming to split a bottle with us?’
‘I’ve never failed yet, Mr Wormold. Who else will be there?’
‘Well, I thought just the three of us. You see, Cooper’s gone home, and poor Marlowe’s in hospital still, and Milly doesn’t seem to care for any of this new crowd at the Consulate. So I thought we’d keep it quiet, in the family.’
‘I’m honoured to be one of the family, Mr Wormold.’
‘Perhaps a table at the Nacional—or would you say that wasn’t quite—well, suitable?’
‘This isn’t England or Germany, Mr Wormold. Girls grow up quickly in the tropics.’
A shutter across the way creaked open and then regularly blew to in the slight breeze from the sea, click clack like an ancient clock. Wormold said, ‘I must be off.’
‘Phastkleaners will get on without you, Mr Wormold.’ It was a day of uncomfortable truths. ‘Like my patients,’ Dr Hasselbacher added with kindliness.
‘People have to get ill, they don’t have to buy vacuum cleaners.’
‘But you charge them more.’
‘And get only twenty per cent for myself. One can’t save much on twenty per cent.’
‘This is not an age for saving, Mr Wormold.’
‘I must—for Milly. If something happened to me …’
‘We none of us have a great expectation of life nowadays, so why worry?’
‘All these disturbances are very bad for trade. What’s the good of a vacuum cleaner if the power’s cut off?’
‘I could manage a small loan, Mr Wormold.’
‘No, no. It’s not like that. My worry isn’t this year’s or even next year’s, it’s a long-term worry.’
‘Then it’s not worth calling a worry. We live in an atomic age, Mr Wormold. Push a button—piff bang—where are we? Another Scotch, please.’
‘And that’s another thing. You know what the firm has done now? They’ve sent me an Atomic Pile Cleaner.’
‘Really? I didn’t know science had got that far.’
‘Oh, of course, there’s nothing atomic about it—it’s only a name. Last year there was the Turbo Jet; this year it’s the Atomic. It works off the light-plug just the same as the other.’
‘Then why worry?’ Dr Hasselbacher repeated like a theme tune, leaning into his whisky.
‘They don’t realize that sort of name may go down in the States, but not here, where the clergy are preaching all the time against the misuse of science. Milly and I went to the Cathedral last Sunday—you know how she is about Mass, thinks she’ll convert me, I wouldn’t wonder. Well, Father Mendez spent half an hour describing the effect of a hydrogen bomb. Those who believe in heaven on earth, he said, are creating a hell—he made it sound that way too—it was very lucid. How do you think I liked it on Monday morning when I had to make a window display of the new Atomic Pile Suction Cleaner? It wouldn’t have surprised me if one of the wild boys around here had broken the window. Catholic Action, Christ the King, all that stuff. I don’t know what to do about it, Hasselbacher.’
‘Sell one to Father Mendez for the Bishop’s palace.’
‘But he’s satisfied with the Turbo. It was a good machine. Of course this one is too. Improved suction for bookcases. You know I wouldn’t sell anyone a machine that wasn’t good.’
‘I know, Mr Wormold. Can’t you just change the name?’
‘They won’t let me. They are proud of it. They think it’s the best phrase anyone has thought up since It beats as it sweeps as it cleans.
You know they had something called a purifying pad with the Turbo. Nobody minded—it was a good gadget, but yesterday a woman came in and looked at the Atomic Pile and she asked whether a pad that size could really absorb all the radio-activity. And what about Strontium 90? she asked.’
‘I could give you a medical certificate,’ said Dr Hasselbacher.
‘Do you never worry about anything?’
‘I have a secret defence, Mr Wormold. I am interested in life.’
‘So am I, but …’
‘You are interested in a person, not in life, and people die or leave us—I’m sorry; I wasn’t referring to your wife. But if you are interested in life it never lets you down. I am interested in the blueness of the cheese. You don’t do crosswords, do you, Mr Wormold? I do, and they are like people: one reaches an end. I can finish any crossword within an hour, but I have a discovery concerned with the blueness of cheese that will never come to a conclusion—although of course one dreams that perhaps a time might come … One day I must show you my laboratory.’
‘I must be going, Hasselbacher.’
‘You should dream more, Mr Wormold. Reality in our century is not something to be faced.’
2
When Wormold arrived at his store in Lamparilla Street, Milly had not yet returned from her American convent school, and in spite of the two figures he could see through the door, the shop seemed to him empty. How empty! And so it would remain until Milly came back. He was aware whenever he entered the shop of a vacuum that had nothing to do with his cleaners. No customer could fill it, particularly not the one who stood there now looking too spruce for Havana and reading a leaflet in English on the Atomic Pile, pointedly neglecting Wormold’s assistant. Lopez was an impatient man who did not like to waste his time away from the Spanish edition of Confidential. He was glaring at the stranger and making no attempt to win him over.
‘Buenos días,’ Wormold said. He looked at all strangers in the shop with an habitual suspicion. Ten years ago a man had entered the shop, posing as a customer, and he had guilelessly sold him a sheep’s wool for the high-gloss finishing on his car. He had been a plausible impostor, but no one could be a less likely purchaser of a vacuum cleaner than this man. Tall and elegant, in his stone-coloured tropical suit, and wearing an exclusive tie, he carried with him the breath of beaches and the leathery smell of a good club: you expected him to say, ‘The Ambassador will see you in a minute.’ His cleaning would always be arranged for him—by an ocean or a valet.
‘Don’t speak the lingo, I’m afraid,’ the stranger answered. The slang word was a blemish on his suit, like an egg-stain after breakfast. ‘You are British, aren’t you?’
‘Yes.’
‘I mean—really British. British passport and all that.’
‘Yes. Why?’
‘One likes to do business with a British firm. One knows where one is, if you see what I mean.’
‘What can I do for you?’
‘Well, first, I just wanted to look around.’ He spoke as though he were in a bookshop. ‘I couldn’t make your chap understand that.’
‘You are looking for a vacuum cleaner?’
‘Well, not exactly looking.’
‘I mean, you are thinking of buying one?’
‘That’s it, old man, you’ve hit it on the nail.’ Wormold had the impression that the man had chosen his tone because he felt it matched the store—a protective colouring in Lamparilla Street; the breeziness certainly didn’t match his clothes. One can’t successfully follow St Paul’s technique of being all things to all men without a change of suit.
Wormold said briskly, ‘You couldn’t do better than the Atomic Pile.’
‘I notice one here called the Turbo.’
‘That too is a very good cleaner. Have you a big apartment?’
‘Well, not exactly big.’
‘Here, you see, you get two sets of brushes—this one for waxing and this for polishing—oh no, I think it’s the other way round. The Turbo is air-powered.’
‘What does that mean?’
‘Well, of course, it’s … well, it’s what it says, air-powered.’
‘This funny little bit here—what’s that for?’
‘That’s a two-way carpet nozzle.’
‘You don’t say so? Isn’t that interesting? Why two-way?’
‘You push and you pull.’
‘The things they think up,’ the stranger said. ‘I suppose you sell a lot of these?’
‘I’m the only agent here.’
‘All the important people, I suppose, have to have an Atomic Pile?’
‘Or a Turbo Jet.’
‘Government offices?’
‘Of course. Why?’
‘What’s good enough for a government office should be good enough for me.’
‘You might prefer our Midget Make-Easy.’
‘Make what easy?’
‘The full title is Midget Make-Easy Air-Powered Suction Small Home Cleaner.’
‘That word air-powered again.’
‘I’m not responsible for it.’
‘Don’t get riled, old man.’
‘Personally I hate the words Atomic Pile,’ Wormold said with sudden passion. He was deeply disturbed. It occurred to him that this stranger might be an inspector sent from the head office in London or New York. In that case they should hear nothing but the truth.
‘I see what you mean. It’s not a happy choice. Tell me, do you service these things?’
‘Quarterly. Free of charge during the period of guarantee.’
‘I meant yourself.’
‘I send Lopez.’
‘The sullen chap?’
‘I’m not much of a mechanic. When I touch one of these things it somehow seems to give up working.’
‘Don’t you drive a car?’
‘Yes, but if there’s anything wrong, my daughter sees to it.’
‘Oh yes, your daughter. Where’s she?’
‘At school. Now let me show you this snap-action coupling,’ but of course, when he tried to demonstrate, it wouldn’t couple. He pushed and screwed. ‘Faulty part,’ he said desperately.
‘Let me try,’ the stranger said, and in the coupling went as smooth as you could wish.
‘How old is your daughter?’
‘Sixteen,’ he said and was angry with himself for answering.
‘Well,’ the stranger said, ‘I must be getting along. Enjoyed our chat.’
‘Wouldn’t you like to watch a cleaner at work? Lopez here would give you a demonstration.’
‘Not at the moment. I’ll be seeing you again—here or there,’ the man said with a vague and insolent confidence and was gone out of the door before Wormold thought to give him a tradecard. In the square at the top of Lamparilla Street he was swallowed up among the pimps and lottery sellers of the Havana noon.
Lopez said, ‘He never intended to buy.’
‘What did he want then?’
‘Who knows? He looked a long time through the window at me. I think perhaps if you had not come in, he would have asked me to find him a girl.’
‘A girl?’
He thought of the day ten years ago and then with uneasiness of Milly, and he wished he had not answered so many questions. He also wished that the snap-action coupling had coupled for once with a snap.
CHAPTER 2
He could distinguish the approach of Milly like that of a police-car from a long way off. Whistles instead of sirens warned him of her coming. She was accustomed to walk from the bus stop in the Avenida de Belgica, but today the wolves seemed to be operating from the direction of Compostella. They were not dangerous wolves, he had reluctantly to admit that. The salute which had begun about her thirteenth birthday was really one of respect, for even by the high Havana standard Milly was beautiful. She had hair the colour of pale honey, dark eyebrows, and her pony-trim was shaped by the best barber in town. She paid no open attention to the whistles, they only made her step the higher—seeing her walk, you could almost believe in levitation. Silence would have seemed like an insult to her now.
Unlike Wormold, who believed in nothing, Milly was a Catholic: he had been made to promise her mother that before they married. Now her mother, he supposed, was of no faith at all, but she had left a Catholic on his hands. It brought Milly closer to Cuba than he could come himself. He believed that in the rich families the custom of keeping a duenna lingered still, and sometimes it seemed to him that Milly too carried a duenna about with her, invisible to all eyes but her own. In church, where she looked more lovely than in any other place, wearing her feather-weight mantilla embroidered with leaves transparent as winter, the duenna was always seated by her side, to observe that her back was straight, her face covered at the suitable moment, the sign of the cross correctly performed. Small boys might suck sweets with impunity around her or giggle from behind pillars, she sat with the rigidity of a nun, following the Mass in a small gilt-edged missal bound in a morocco the colour of her hair (she had chosen it herself). The same invisible duenna saw to it that she ate fish on Friday, fasted on Ember Days and attended Mass not only on Sundays and the special feasts of the church, but also on her saint’s day. Milly was her home-name: her given name was Seraphina—in Cuba ‘a double of the second class’, a mysterious phrase which reminded Wormold of the race-track.
It had been long before Wormold realized that the duenna was not always by her side. Milly was meticulous in her behaviour at meals and had never neglected her night-prayers, as he had good reason to know since, even as a child, she had kept him waiting, to mark him out as the non-Catholic he was, before her bedroom door until she had finished. A light burnt continually in front of the image of Our Lady of Guadalupe. He remembered how he had overheard her at the age of four praying, ‘Hail Mary, quite contrary.’
One day however, when Milly was thirteen, he had been summoned to the convent school of the American Sisters of Clare in the white rich suburb of Vedado. There he learnt for the first time how the duenna left Milly under the religious plaque by the grilled gateway of the school. The complaint was of a serious nature: she had set fire to a small boy called Thomas Earl Parkman, junior. It was true, the Reverend Mother admitted, that Earl, as he was known in the school, had pulled Milly’s hair first, but this she considered in no way justified Milly’s action which might well have had serious results if another girl had not pushed Earl into a fountain. Milly’s only defence of her conduct had been that Earl was a Protestant and if there was going to be a persecution Catholics could always beat Protestants at that game.
‘But how did she set Earl on fire?’
‘She put petrol on the tail of his shirt.’
‘Petrol!’
‘Lighter-fluid, and then she struck a match. We think she must have been smoking in secret.’
‘It’s a most extraordinary story.’
‘I guess you don’t know Milly then. I must tell you, Mr Wormold, our patience has been sadly strained.’
Apparently, six months before setting fire to Earl, Milly had circulated round her art-class a set of postcards of the world’s great pictures.
‘I don’t see what’s wrong in that.’
‘At the age of twelve, Mr Wormold, a child shouldn’t confine her appreciation to the nude, however classical the paintings.’
‘They were all nude?’
‘All except Goya’s Draped Maja. But she had her in the nude version too.’
Wormold had been forced to fling himself on Reverend Mother’s mercy—he was a poor non-believing father with a Catholic child, the American convent was the only Catholic school in Havana which was not Spanish, and he couldn’t afford a governess. They wouldn’t want him to send her to the