A Humanist’S Introduction to God
()
About this ebook
In the beginning god the scientist was puttering, and invented life out of nothing. Imagine that. This might not seem like much to most people. But how many can say they have done as much?
Soon another chapter bounced along. While skinny-dipping god invented death. It did prove necessary. Paradise had been getting flabby and mediocre, almost as if a greenhouse and a menagerie were the best god could come up with.
Not necessarily next. All things, being in the present, did get a little jumbled. God invented sex. He was careful to keep the temperature down for us readers.
A chapter on consciousness, about which he had a few doubts, Plants had survived for billions of years even though rooted in one place. That took real genius.
And more, until god is handling eggs without breaking them, and driving leaves of grass through giant sequoia trees.
And more. Perhaps an introduction is just the beginning.
Charles S. Whistler
Charles Whistler moved to Florida as a young man and, on his way, discovered Zen, haiku poetry, and aphorisms. These were his beginning tools as an author. Writing seriously, humorously, exaltedly, and divisively about God gave him reason to leave a small trail, but growing confidence and dedication to his craft has allowed him to produce volumes of work. Reading and writing steadily, he has revised, been work shopped, and judged by qualified judges. Obviously commercial and scholastic successes are the true standard and the only guarantee of relevance and worth, but credentials and reputation, finally, are for readers only to define. His philosophy can be summed up as follows: Inspiration is a leaf Erratic in drift But like the arctic tern That flies from pole to pole Ever vigilant without rest Inspiration must be sustained By direction and dedication
Read more from Charles S. Whistler
The Mighty Unconquerable: The Latest Speculations on Love Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Baby on the Doorstep Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Related to A Humanist’S Introduction to God
Related ebooks
A Larry Comes Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Antic Creedoolies Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA Jolly Fellowship Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDark of the Center Line Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsLiberation: Freedom Is Everything Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsCrazy Street Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsLessons in Life; A Series of Familiar Essays Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsEve's Diary, Complete Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Other Places: Just Because We Don't Know It Exists Doesn't Mean It Doesn't Exist Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA Place Without Twilight Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsScraps of an Incoherent World Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Diaries of Adam and Eve Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Abu Omar Ha'akeem Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsTravels Through Time: Short Stories and Essays Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsEve's Diary Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Further Adventures of Robinson Crusoe Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA Good Life: Philosophy from Cradle to Grave Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Allenthology Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Chasing Grace Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBook of David Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Eve's Complete Diary Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5World of Noah and the Ark Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsEve's Diary illustrated Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Five Jars: A Fantasy Fiction Classic Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsStar Begotten Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Floating Girls: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Eclectic Harvest Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Five Jars Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Letter to a Great Grandson: A Message of Love, Advice, and Hopes for the Future Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsEve's Diary, Part 1 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Religious Fiction For You
The Gospel According to the New World Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5Warrior of the Light: A Manual Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Life of Pi: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Recital of the Dark Verses Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Women Talking Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Till We Have Faces: A Myth Retold Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Stranger in the Lifeboat Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Dark Tower: And Other Stories Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Red Tent - 20th Anniversary Edition: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Power and the Glory Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A Lineage of Grace Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Greatest Gift: A Christmas Tale Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A Woman Is No Man: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Magic Strings of Frankie Presto: A Novel Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The First Phone Call From Heaven: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Man in White: A Novel about the Apostle Paul Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Fifth Mountain: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Butcher's Daughter: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Disobedience: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Last Temptation of Christ Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Hell Is a World Without You Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Mountains of Spices Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Next Person You Meet in Heaven: The Sequel to The Five People You Meet in Heaven Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Eve: A Novel Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Temple Folk Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5When Calls the Heart (Canadian West Book #1) Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Gods and Kings (Chronicles of the Kings Book #1): A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Hidden School: Return of the Peaceful Warrior Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Angels Walking: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Related categories
Reviews for A Humanist’S Introduction to God
0 ratings0 reviews
Book preview
A Humanist’S Introduction to God - Charles S. Whistler
© 2011 Charles S. Whistler. All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.
First published by AuthorHouse 8/19/2011
ISBN: 978-1-4567-6142-4 (e)
ISBN: 978-1-4567-6143-1 (sc)
Library of Congress Control Number: 2011906955
Printed in the United States of America
Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,
and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.
Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.
Also by Charles S. Whistler
BEYOND CERTAINTY
www.authorhouse.com
or 888-280-7715
TABLE OF CONTENTS
A Humanist’s Introduction to God
PART I ICE CUBES AND MOCKINGBIRDS
PART II CHECKERS AND TOMATOES
PART III LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
PART IV CHEESE SANDWICHES AND RIPPLING STORE WINDOWS
PART V SWINGING DOORS
PART VI GRASS IN THE GOLD STREETS OF HEAVEN
PART VII RED-LETTER DAYS and GRANDMOTHER’S BUTTONS
PART VIII THE CHICKEN OR THE EGG?
DEDICATION
With affection and appreciation
To Sunday Morning Coffee
Martha - Bob
Catharine - Catherine
Bea - Terre
Anne - Romy
Christine - Muriel
Edith - Sally
and RPN
I will have to write another book
PART I
ICE CUBES AND MOCKINGBIRDS
God, the scientist, was in chaos early on—
Mixing, blending
Honestly he called himself a putterer
Creating stuff out of nothing—
Doing what he did best—
God was bending...time also
As he did all the...time
For you—
In normal...times
At this...time in the story
There was only god—
No hes or shes, hims and hers
Only the god
An it—
From this nowhere at the beginning
Of our story
God is using our standard pronouns for himself
As a convenience
For the habits of our ears—
Without us
The story would have started thus:
It? It told itself—
That’s all there was—
That’s all it was—
Alone in chaos
There was nothing else—
Not even chaos it would have supposed—
It? Where did it come from?
Chaos obviously
Was the first differentiation—
No masculine and feminine—
No he, she, you, them—
It hadn’t even thought far enough
To be sure there was an I
Certainly not a we—
For us it
would seem disrespectful—
But disrespect from where?
Maybe a capital letter It
Would have remedied
What didn’t exist to be remedied—
No. Pretension or repute also had no place
To its way of thinking—
It
would have to do it
For all...time, or whatever
Until something else
Should come along—
Now, back again to our ears
Remembering
God is always it—
God is always neuter—
All of a sudden he stumbled across something
new—
Miraculous how everything was always
New new new—
Stumbled isn’t exactly the right word
Waded
Kind of flapped his arms
And kicked his feet—
With a larger vocabulary he’d call it swimming—
This newly created miracle inundated him—
So much of it
It was almost out of control
Sort of like the stuff
For the briefest...moment he called evil
Until he decided it had no existence whatsoever—
He didn’t need that in his...life—
He was almost ready
To cancel this new invention too—
He hardly ever used his name in vain
But lordy this stuff was really getting to him—
It had a flair for disruption
All runny and drippy
And when he got it on himself
Evaporation would make it even worse
He felt fifty degrees cooler—
Later he would establish
Boiling and freezing points
For this liquid—
God predominately was a trial and error fellow
So it didn’t surprise him
That this enveloping, clinging invention
Inadmitedly was slightly out of control—
It waved and ran, washed over things
Swelled over beacons, flasks, scales
And what he might eventually call distilleries
If he could give this thing called fire
Working parameters—
The surge continued to, not annoy
Not god the imperturbable—
It could beguile and tease
And it made him react
In ways he hadn’t yielded to
In…eons—
God loved nonsensical words—
Wet—
Yes, that word described it—
Wet, and so much of it—
It was running through a dozen dimensions
Piling up
And then sloshing everywhere
Around his bachelor quarters—
As far as he knew
There was no other god he could socialize with—
Silly putty—
Close, but not quite right—
He wondered anew
How many things he rejected
Before he even knew of them—
What was it?
The mystery of things—
Like evil,
he wondered
If remnants of things remained—
He had already invented elements
So called, conveniently
Because they couldn’t be broken apart
Into simpler samples—
But god knew better—
He had taken two elements
Two atoms of hydrogen—
This was after his first choice helium
Ditzy stuff that made his voice pip squeak
In contrast to his normal rumbling tone
Part of an image that suited his demeanor
Most of the…time—
And one atom of oxygen—
God didn’t have to know
What precipitated the runny stuff—
As often as not these novelties merely happened—
He admitted he was pushing himself
To the edge of control—
At…times he hardly sounded like the one
Who should be in charge—
There it was
At the beginning of...time
Something completely different
Though there wasn’t much
He could compare it to—
Curiously, he was always at
The beginning of...time
Though there was nothing deja vu about it—
Runny and wet
And so much of it
More and more
Almost out of control—
But god the great improviser
Would get a handle on it—
At least that was the story he’d tell
After an unaccountable flood
Or one and one—
If the truth, what is truth, be known
God would be the first
To admit he was one odd duck—
He was not in favor of the idea
That he’d have to invent numbers
Before long—
Thinking all the…time—
If he wasn’t careful
He’d be called a know-it-all—
In one respect people will be just like him—
Every man will think he knows it all—
God would have to put it in a container—
He puzzled what kind—
Except for chaos
That he was thinking of calling his laboratory
He lived a Spartan life—
He had filled his...time
With little of anything else—
A container
Of what size and shape?
Novel ideas!
He experimented—
Cubes...like...boxes?
Oblong, flat paneled things, easy to carry
Like...shoeboxes?
Long strings? It was a theory—
He molded together
Some of his basic elements
Land, air, and fire—
Spongy?
They coalesced pretty well
But not reliably enough—
Ah, if he pressed greater quantities of them together
They would have density
And draw floating objects to themselves—
A force, a power
He’d let the name coast for a while
But gravity
carried weight—
And round—
A sphere was nicely symmetrical—
Being the economic fellow that he was
He liked trim control—
But this sphere, this ball
Was so smooth—
True, the water was controlled—
A ball of water?
The name