My Thoughts Are My Reality
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Martha Edmond
Early one morning in January, 1989, Martha Edmond was born in Vicksburg, Mississippi, Martha was raised in Vicksburg and lived there until she was 7 yrs old, when Martha was 7 she moved to California. When she left Mississippi she had this bitter feeling in heart, Martha knew that once she left Vicksburg her life would never be the same. As a child Martha was always happy and full of life when she was around her family, but whenever she was surrounded by people she didn't know Martha was very shy and quiet. Martha was very close to her older brother Joseph and her younger brother John, Martha always looked up to her older brother because he was more outspoken then she was and she wanted to be just like him. When Martha and her brothers moved to Mississippi everything seemed great in the beginning but very soon things became a whole lot worse. Martha use to see and hear her mother get verbally and physically abused by her step dad, Martha didn't understand why her step dad was abusing her mother but she knew she couldn't do anything about it. There were times when Martha's mom called the police on her step dad and have him arrested, while her step dad was locked up everything went back to the way they use to be before her step dad came into the picture. For some odd reason Martha's mom Angela would go visit her step dad in jail and they would act like nothing ever happened, the abuse went on until Martha was a teenager even though the physical abuse stopped the verbal abuse didn’t but she never gotten over it. When Martha was 13 she noticed that her mom wasn’t the mother she knew and loved, Angela became more like Martha’s step dad, her mom was more upset then usually she would get mad at every small thing Martha and her brother’s did. Since Martha was a child her mother was always harder on Martha’s older brother and when her got fed up he moved away to go stay with other relatives but when that happened that’s when Martha became the target of her mom’s anger. As a teenager Martha and her mom’s relationship changed for the worse, Martha became more distant from everyone and she always felt like she hated her mother and she believed that her mother didn’t care about her. When Martha started high school she stared cutting herself, she tried to make the pain go away by hurting herself and writing poetry but as she got older she stopped cutting herself and she started to take pills and other drugs for no reason at all. When ever Martha was in school she always seemed distracted with her problems she didn’t do her work in certain classes. Trying to numb the pain she felt, Martha would look in the medicine cabinet when every one was sleeping but whenever she felt lower than the ground she walked one Martha tried to commit suicide, this went on until Martha was an adult. Now that she’s grow Martha try dealing with her pain in a different way, even though Martha doesn’t abuse drugs any more she still feels tempted at times but she doesn’t let herself get weak until the point she wants to abuse drugs. Since Martha can remember she has always wanted to feel like she has a purpose in life or she wanted to feel loved and to fit in. The only time when Martha can remember she was happy was when she was child before she moved to California, no matter when she did Martha always felt like a failure and no matter what she did right it was never enough. Martha wasted so many years dwelling on her problems she let life pass her by while she stayed at one place in her life, but now she is determined to be the woman she always wanted to be. Poetry has always played a big part in Martha’s life and it has gotten her through some of the most trying times in her life like dealing with the death of a family member, trying to over come committing suicide and other hard times in her life, writing poetry gives Martha the opportunity overcome life experiences better than she has in the past. Martha is now walking with God and she do what she can to help the people around her, she is more positive and strong minded then ever before.
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My Thoughts Are My Reality - Martha Edmond
A GOOD FATHER IS
A good father is the bread winner
A good father is loveable
A good father takes care of a good mother
A good father will always be there for his children
A good father is always there and never leaves
A good father is someone like you.
Any male can make a baby, but it takes a real
man to be a father.
A GOOD MOTHER IS
A good mother is special
A good mother is strong
A good mother is independent
A good mother is caring
A good mother is loveable
A good mother is one in a million
A good mother is one call away
A good mother is a blessing from God.
AFTER THE STORM
After the storm I am
strong and wiser from all the
scars and pain you caused in the storm.
After the storm my heart is
full of love but unbreakable because
you will no longer have my heart.
After the storm my soul has
new life and no more pain and sorrow
from your unforgivable love.
After the storm my future is brighter
From my fear of failure and you can
no longer bring me down.
After the storm my thoughts are no
longer hateful and painful but smarter from
experience of the past.
After the storm I have a new life before death
because death has killed my old life but my
strength has rebirth my new life.
ALWAYS AND FOREVER
My heart will always love you
because you’re the only one for me
and Ima be here for you always and forever.
I got so much love for you in my heart
because your my ever want
and need, so without you in my life
my soul will never be the same
so you will continue to stay in my heart
always and forever.
Your love will be right here in my soul
so you will never have to have
the fear of being alone,
so I’m writing you this poem
so we can have each other
always and forever.
Trust me with your heart
and my love will ease
your pain and my love for you
will never change
so I’ma tell you how I feel and continue to
keep it real always and forever.
I promise you that I will give you my all
and my feelings for you will be unconditional
so you will be mine always. and forever.
ANGEL OF MY HEART
If I had to love one person forever
that person would be you,
because I would keep your memories in my heart.
If I had to give my heart to anyone
that person would be you,
so when you give me your love my pain
and troubles will go away.
I would take my life to save yours
so I would be in your heart forever,
so I would never leave you.
I would give you my all just to have
your love forever because without your
love I’m nothing.
When I look at you I see a giving, loving
and respectable person, that’s why I
love you so much and no one can’t
take your place in my heart.
APART OF WHAT YOU TOOK FROM ME
Apart of what you took from me was my
soul, cuz I can no longer feel for something
I lost a long time ago.
Apart of what you took from me was my life
and you see a part of me that’s left which
is a reflection of death.
Apart of what you took from me was my love
and now I can