Being Gay Being Bi Whatever

© 2013 IANBRADLEYMARSHALL. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

All Images are produced in collaboration with Alexander J Petricca, an outstanding people’s photographer of Liverpool and are under copyright © Alexander Petricca 2010-2012

Published by AuthorHouse 02/27/2013

ISBN: 978-1-4772-4989-5 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4772-4990-1 (e)

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

CONTENTS

Dedication

Acknowledgments

Foreword

Introduction

I AM WHO I AM

Trilogy

Sweet Seventeen

Conscience

Cumuppence

Reconciliation

Saturday

Sounds Of The Night

A Gay Man’s Spontaneous Reflections

Reflections Of A People At Peace In The Capital

What’s The Matter Lad?

In Memoriam Alexi Shostakovich

The Price Of Complacency

Narcissus In Blackpool

Diamonds An American Friend

Be Yourself

Lighthouse Tribute To An Escort

The Right To Love

Love Is . . 

Taking For Granted

Versatile

Old Compton

They Came In The Night

They’ll Remember You

They Came In The Night

A Tribute To The German Resistance Movement

You Threw Them Away, Remember?

All Images are produced in collaboration with Alexander J Petricca, an outstanding photographer of Liverpool and are under Copyright © 2012 Alexander Petricca. All rights reserved

Art and Design by John-Paul Henry

DEDICATION

Dedicated to the memory of Michael Causer and through his good name the Michael Causer Foundation by which his name and life’s work carries on

www.michaelcauserfoundation.org.uk

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Writing this Anthology is one thing. Publishing it is another. And it is true with every book that behind the author is a group of people who know how and when to encourage, how to touch the rudder or squeeze the author’s elbow in the writer’s more strident moments or moments of doubt.

These are many, but on this page I’d like to thank that very close-knit group that has also protected me and been prepared to say things I do not wish to hear!

To Mum and to my sisters Carol and Vanessa and to Andrew Fairbrother, you have been very patient and your wise counsel in place of Dad is priceless. And to Dad, of course, for his quiet support during the manuscript’s initial drafting. In arriving at this point of truly coming out as the man I am, not as I’ve pretended to be for nigh on forty years, I have you, Andrew, to thank from that first coffee in 2004 in Liverpool.

To John-Paul Henry, freelance designer and creative from Liverpool, it has been an exciting project working with you JP and I place on record that it is your design and eye for detail that has brought us this beautiful publication and the placement of the images which I left entirely to you to do. And you have done it to perfection. We have had some exciting moments, some great arguments and out of which comes the truth of that very special maxim: that a three-stranded chord is not easily broken. Such is the way that true and powerful friendship is formed.

To Alexander Petricca, my very loyal friend and photographer, who has, again, brought together the portfolio of images and choreographed the stunning backdrop from anxious beginning to relief and happy realisation that, after all, we are natural and normal and worthy members of society. The task I set you was a difficult one, and, as you did with Meanderings, so you have succeeded again. I will therefore overlook the persistent misdemeanour of addressing me as batman just so long as you don’t drive up in that three-wheeler Reliant. Got that robbo?!

To David Sansome of NSW Australia, I am indebted to you for your constant encouragement from so far away, being one of those who have enabled me to see that the work must be done and that I have a responsibility to everyone to do this and to be a lifeline, and to encourage me to use material from a long time past because it just might be of help today. Thanks David.

To John—my one time long suffering adjutant who dared, on a long past distant parade square, to march on and remind the CO that if he gave the order he was about to give then he would have the whole parade facing the wrong direction. I’ll never forget that squeeze of the elbow (from where my expression comes), your smartly stepping back one pace, exchanging salutes and me thinking, ‘hell that was close!’ And you’ve spent a lifetime repeating that little exercise in my more trying moments! Above all for the bench to lean on as Dad slipped away and that very important preparatory chat in the kitchen beforehand. Only you could have given that chat. Thanks John. And Susan—thanks for coping with us both! As you said—‘put two military together and you’d think they fought and won the cause all on their own!’ As was proved when we went to see the latest Bond and forgot to pick you up!

To my publishers, with special mention to Liza Brown, Valerie Raines, Kim Cavannah, Lily Pedaria and especially Frances Garcia for pulling the whole thing together and reaching out so that, as you beautifully put it, not just either side of the pond but global too!

To Andrew Gilliver for so kindly writing the moving and powerful foreword and which beautifully explains that third part of the title, Whatever. Your Foreword stands truly on its own Andrew and brings hope to countless young and older people.

Finally, to Andy and Dean who, for the last 14 months have given me immense support in a difficult year of bereavement but also the more strident moments of homophobia. Guys, being your resident author is something I cherish beyond measure. My heartfelt thanks. You are the epitome, and proof, of all that is good about enlightened Liverpool. And your Captaincy of Spartans RFC Manchester Dean proves where our community should and must stand in the world. Keep leading us all.

Ian Bradley Marshall

Stanley Street Quarter

Liverpool

Great Britain

January 2013

FOREWORD

by

Andrew Gilliver

It is with tremendous pleasure that I write these few words on what it is to be gay, bi, queer… (or whatever you are happiest calling yourself).

Whatever and whoever you are, the most important thing that any of us can be in our life is to be true to ourselves and to really listen to that truth, always.

It is the truth that is so often betrayed by those who wish to deny us the right to be whoever we were created to be, a most blasphemous act if you believe in a divine creator who makes all of us in his (or her) image.

I knew, like millions of other young people, that I wasn’t quite the same as most boys by the time I started primary school, or rather I found out because I was told that I was ‘different’. I was completely oblivious to any particular problem with this until people started telling me that I couldn’t behave in the way that seemed most natural to me because that