Past Perfect: Freedom from Perfection in Life and Faith
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Stephen Mitchell
Stephen Mitchell's many books include the bestselling Tao Te Ching, Gilgamesh, and The Second Book of the Tao, as well as The Selected Poetry of Rainer Maria Rilke, The Gospel According to Jesus, Bhagavad Gita, The Book of Job, and Meetings with the Archangel.
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Past Perfect - Stephen Mitchell
loving
Past Perfect
We seem to be obsessed with perfection. It’s everywhere, permeating our conversations, our language, our advertising, our films and our religion. It’s not only widespread across our culture; it has roots deep in the beginnings of our civilization.
I hope to convince you that for the sake of our faith and wellbeing, we need to free ourselves from this pre-occupation. I admit to being as guilty as anyone of accepting a gift with the words It’s absolutely perfect!
but beyond such social niceties, we need to recognise that a search for perfection may inhibit our growth and sabotage any attempt to improve our lives. Equally, I certainly wouldn’t want to imply that everything is imperfect since that too relies on ideas of perfection. There’s no need to content ourselves with second-best, we can move beyond perfection, past perfect, embracing life, providing opportunities and creating a more just and secure world in which everyone can flourish.
From my standpoint as a retired Anglican priest, I concede that the church is similarly preoccupied with the perfect. I sing the hymn Holy, holy, holy with as much enthusiasm as the rest of the congregation but I know that the line perfect in power, in love and purity
is little more than poetic alliteration.
I began this exploration after writing God in the Bath (O Books, 2006) in which I said that wherever we are, we are in God, for God is that in which we live and move and have our being.
When as Christians we say we believe in God, it’s an almost literal use of the word in. We believe in God. God is our environment, our world, our life… . It shouldn’t therefore be difficult to believe in God. We shouldn’t have to struggle to get our heads around impossible questions. We are already in God. Belief isn’t like taking an exam, it’s like taking a bath. We need to learn to relax and let ourselves be revived in God’s presence.
At the time I took it as understood that God embodied perfection, so was I saying that whatever it is we live and move and have our being in is perfect? When later my wife was dying of Motor Neurone Disease, it seemed an increasingly ridiculous claim to have made.
We use the words perfect and imperfect in a variety of ways to describe ourselves and the world and values such as beauty, goodness and love. However our present understanding of these is very different from that of the past, due to a huge shift in our thinking. It renders the term perfect redundant and demands a revision of our theology.
This isn’t only a theological and philosophical concern, as an obsession with the perfect blights our lives in practical ways. I am a perfectionist
people say at an interview when asked to confess their faults. It’s usually a self-deprecating way of saying I am totally committed to completing work to the highest possible standards
. However, perfectionism that seeks something beyond this can inhibit creativity, leave us indecisive, and undermine our confidence. An even greater concern is that it may cost lives; research suggests that exposure to a relentless demand to be perfect, (a concept sometimes referred to as socially prescribed perfectionism), is linked consistently with feelings of hopelessness, eating disorders (particularly amongst young people), and in extreme circumstances attempted suicide.
My thanks to the team at John Hunt Publishing for their professional expertise and help. I am indebted to the late Tony Guinle, a friend, journalist and raconteur who read the first draft of these ideas with great insight and persuaded me to complete the project. My daughters, Frances and Jennifer, have been a huge encouragement, Frances challenging my thinking from her experience as a counsellor, writer and musician. Above all I want to thank Elaine who has spent many hours helping and encouraging me to produce a readable text.
Perfect Day
Nothing’s perfect, they say, but it seems we are repeatedly bombarded by promises to the contrary. According to adverts on the internet, a perfect pizza, plumber, pen or pet is only a phone call away. The perfect property is just down the road. It makes the estate agent’s day to unlock the front door and hear the client’s Wow!
Everyone, it seems, is looking for the wow factor. Surprise and amazement, and the recognition of beauty, ability, courage and sheer determination are all expressed in a Wow!
as extraordinary talent, outstanding achievement, virtue, self-sacrifice or saintliness overwhelm us.
Wow! It’s perfect!
we may add. It’s the perfect house with a bathroom to die for and a kitchen at the heart of the family home. Wow! But what does the perfect
add? Are we really saying that here is something not only good, not even very good, nor even something that has the elusive X factor but perfection itself? And what is that?
Our word perfection
comes from the Latin word perficio meaning to complete. The Greeks used the word teleios from telos meaning end – end that is not only in the sense of bringing something to completion but also in the sense of being directed towards a particular end or goal. It is in this way that we say the house is perfect. It’s just what we’ve been looking for, the goal of our search. It ticks all our boxes. It’s the complete package. We won’t find a better one and our search is at an end. Yet while this house, with its views across the countryside and acres of ground is just right for me and my family, it isn’t perfect for the young bachelor. It’s not what he’s looking for. Is perfect always a relative idea – perfect for me or for him?
Our everyday use of perfect reveals some other interesting and puzzling aspects of the word. Take the idea of perfection in sport, for example. In 1984, Jayne Torvill and Christopher Dean, added to their considerable ice-skating achievements by becoming Olympic