We Speak for Ourselves: How Woke Culture Prohibits Progress
By D. Watkins
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About this ebook
Watkins introduces you to Down Bottom, the storied community of East Baltimore that holds a mirror to America’s poor black neighborhoods—“hoods” that could just as easily be in Chicago, Detroit, Oakland, or Atlanta. As Watkins sees it, the perspective of people who live in economically disadvantaged black communities is largely absent from the commentary of many top intellectuals who speak and write about race.
Unapologetic and sharp-witted, D. Watkins is here to tell the truth as he has seen it. We Speak for Ourselves offers an in-depth analysis of inner-city hurdles and honors the stories therein. We sit in underfunded schools, walk the blocks burdened with police corruption, stand within an audience of Make America Great Again hats, journey from trap house to university lecture, and rally in neglected streets. And we listen.
“Watkins has come to remind us, everyone deserves the opportunity to speak for themselves” (Jason Reynolds, New York Times bestselling author) and serves hope to fellow Americans who are too often ignored and calling on others to examine what it means to be a model activist in today’s world. We Speak for Ourselves is a must-read for all who are committed to social change.
Read more from D. Watkins
Where Tomorrows Aren't Promised: A Memoir of Survival and Hope Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Beast Side: Living and Dying While Black in America Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
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We Speak for Ourselves - D. Watkins
INTRODUCTION
A SEAT At THE TABLE
Did you know there are different types of black people?
Hello, young man,
a scholarly, Danny Glover–looking guy laced in tweed said. Are you enjoying yourself?
Yes, sir, this is a nice function.
He slowly looked me up and down. I cleaned up well—in my opinion anyway—but I did look out of place. You can really tell the difference between those three-thousand-dollar tailored suits and my cheap, thin H&M getup. I swear, if I made one wrong move, the pants and jacket would split in half. The people here dressed as if they attended galas for a living. Every person was cleaner than the next. Silk, sheer pocket squares, printed bow ties, sparkly accessories, and pointy little shoes could be seen in every direction, sliding across the gleaming marble floor. Multiple planet-sized chandeliers hung above us as tuxedoed servers offered crab balls, cucumber sandwiches, and some other hors d’oeuvres.
What is your name, young man?
D.—I’m sorry, Dwight Watkins, sir.
Ooh, okay!
he replied with a Kool-Aid smile, tilting his small oval frames to get a better look.
Watkins as in Watkins Ice?
No.
Watkins as in Watkins Security?
No, no.
I laughed.
So, what does your family do? What is your line of work?
I told him I was in between jobs and my family worked at the places that hired them.
He frowned at me. All his nonverbal cues clearly said I wasn’t the guy that he wanted to be talking to. Before I could get his name, he was already off meeting and greeting other guests.
I never knew there was a black elite until I was at an event for the black elite. We all know about rich black people like Oprah, Jay-Z, and Diddy, but they’re celebs. I’m talking about a wealthy class of non-famous African Americans who own art galleries, development companies, law firms, and medical practices. Jobs that I didn’t really see when I was coming up.
This event seems really nice,
my friend Tia told me without blinking as we entered. It’s the kind of place you need to be.
I am a back-alley-block-party, dinner-and-salad-fork-are-the-same type of guy, but I’m also a good sport who is willing to hobnob with the dress-shoe crowd. Tia would always tell me about her new elite friends and about their parents being doctors, lawyers, architects, or the famous first black something in whatever field. She was constantly impressed by them—their stories expanded her perspective and ultimately mine as I listened, trying to figure out a way to understand this world. The idea of black journalists, photographers, and legal millionaires who didn’t hoop or rap was foreign.
Before heading to the event, I almost choked myself out trying to learn how to tie a tie from a tutorial on YouTube—dude in the video talked way too fast and it sounded like he had hot food in his mouth. I wrapped the tie around my neck as if I was going to fix it before deciding to leave it in the car.
Tia’s artsy friend noticed us as soon as we entered and tugged her arm to make a few introductions. I’ll be back. You are okay, right?
she said as they drifted off. I nodded my head.
Can I get a double vodka with a splash of any type of juice?
I said to the bartender. Just enough juice to change the color. Thank you, bro.
No need to thank me, broooo, we are not mixing drinks,
he smugly replied, looking me up and down and up again before pointing to a menu.
You have to order off of this fixed list, thank you.
I didn’t trip, even though they had all the ingredients sitting out—I was determined to not be that guy. So I ordered off the menu, left a tip, and looked for a wall to hold up but instead encountered the tweed-Danny-Glover guy.
When Tia and her friend made their way back over to me, I jokingly told them about the exchange. Her friend told us that the Danny Glover look-alike was a professor who gives commentary on race, poverty, and surviving as a person of color in America. A race and poverty commentator with nothing to say to an unemployed black man, go figure.
I have since seen him appear on TV shows after a couple of killings of unarmed black males. He shared the same not-all-cops-are-bad-so-strategic-protest-will-equal-reform perspective that dominates mainstream thought on the black experience and appears on the pages of the thousands of race books that drop every month.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited about the number of race books flooding the publishing industry. We have an endless collection of black narratives, letters to racist and nonracist white people, and sensitive stories with the goal of making everyone feel safe enough to discuss America’s problem with people of color. Contemporary black writers are hard at work defining the systemic issues that plague the African American experience, while our white counterparts are doing the same—swooping in as super-allies, schooling their lost friends on what it means to be black, and offering step-by-step lessons on acknowledging their own privilege. These projects are cool, but what happens once we finish reading all of the books on race in America?
Even if a person decides to apply action to the content that they read, there’s another problem. Many of these books are missing the point. In fact, the authors of these books are among a huge tradition of thought leaders who missed the point, which explains why things never really change for most poor black people in America. These thought leaders define the black experience from a drone-like perspective—they have all the insight but strangely no connection to the black people they claim they are fighting for. The primary reason is that their books and language never include the very people who live the poor black experience every day.
I am talking about the experience of the black kids who are fighting to survive, the mothers and grandmothers who are holding families together, the men and women reentering society from incarceration—and what America has to offer other than the same hurdles it places in front of them. Hurdles such as poor housing, underfunded schools, and other social constraints that push young people into jail. The prison-industrial complex would not exist without failed policing strategies, lack of opportunity, and how black skin always seems to equal guilty in courtrooms across the country.
It is great that my people are trending on social media, cable news, and, well, maybe even in society. Still, in the midst of all the black narratives stacked on bookshelves, we have a problem—a major problem. People from the street are absent from them.
As I write this book, I’ve now been in and around the publishing world for four years. But I’ve been in the streets my whole life, which gives me a unique perspective. See, I’m not rich enough to be disconnected from my roots, but I’m just popular enough to get a few invites to private parties and events with top black thinkers, celebrity protesters (yes, this is a real thing), and the rest of the mouthpieces for the contemporary black experience in America. What I have observed from these functions is that many of the people who attend have something in common—they don’t know or really associate with black people who aren’t famous, social media celebrities, or from some type of fifty-generation Morehouse or Spelman family unless there is a camera crew around. Hence the lopsided selection of narratives we find.
I have nothing against anyone who has found success. However, many of these narratives don’t tie into a big part of the black experience in this country, which is wrong on an extremely profound level.
Every time I hit these events or crack open a book about race, I encounter the fearful Black Nerd, which is normally a scared, thin, wiry, bookish kid who had to find a special route to school to avoid gang activity. Of course, they outsmart the thugs. Next, they grow up to become successful only to oppress poor blacks who come from the same place as the gang members they once avoided. All the while, they write books about what it means to be black and oppressed. I witnessed so many people advocate for Freddie Gray, the unarmed black man from Baltimore killed in police custody, but shun black kids from his neighborhood every day.
When I get a chance to catch up with some of the influencers and thought leaders, I ask them about that fear and then explain to them how their fear is a luxury that many of us will never enjoy.
To craft a gang-free route to school out of fear is a luxury.
What if you can’t cut around the bad neighborhood because you live right in the center of it? In my neighborhood of East Baltimore, the devil knocked every day. Growing up, I couldn’t avoid the violence because it was in my apartment, or across the hall, or on my block. Every road was paved with roses and thorns. You could have great experiences with amazing people, but you could also get your head cracked along the way, and that’s how it is. The perspective of black people who know this but did not make it to college, to the boardroom, or out of public housing is often missed when these intellectuals attempt to define a contemporary black experience that is unfamiliar to them.
Many of my friends and I carry bullet fragments that click around in our joints when we walk. Our scars are badges of resiliency that we flash for any and every reason. I’ve had my head cracked. I’ve cracked the heads of others. Drugs have impacted everyone around my life, whether it was selling them, coping with addiction to them, or losing a family member or friend because of them.
All the while, in the midst of all the pain, many of us still share in the love of our family and community. Yes, family love does exist in low-income neighborhoods, although you wouldn’t know it because that narrative gets left out as our current elite class of mouthpieces rely on ’90s rap lyrics and censored BET movies to get their hood stories.
It’s time for some of these so-called thought leaders and black experts to fall back. I’m not knocking them for their attempts to interpret the poor black experience, just like I don’t judge the white liberal types who tackle me after book events so they can show me pictures of the black baby they just adopted. D.! They said we can name him whatever we want since he’s so young! So we are calling him Marcus, like Garvey!
(Yeah, this really happened, three times.)
Those people dibble and dabble in a world in which people like me are surviving. So, when I tell you that I just split a chicken box (four wings and fries with salt, pepper, ketchup, and hot sauce) with my homie Cook two weeks ago over in the Latrobe housing projects, and that he had never even heard of Black Lives Matter until I introduced him to it, you shouldn’t be surprised because the protest movement is not a universal black experience, especially when you are just trying to survive the day-to-day.
Cook laughed and responded, Why they rallyin’ to change a white system that work perfect for whites in a white country for? Good luck with that!
And, you can’t look at him like he’s crazy, because that’s just an assessment based on his experience. He reflects a common perspective among people like me, from the bottom, and you wouldn’t know because we normally don’t get invites to ivory tower galas and dress-shoe functions.
PART 1
DOWN BOTTOM
1
WHERE I COME FROM
The homies and I like to sit around and brag about who had it worse—you know, who was the poorest, who went to the dirtiest school, and who came the closest to being murdered the most times. This is fun for us. You might hear one of us say Walking to school on top of piles of broken glass and drug needles with busted shoes is a luxury, man! I had to walk to school on all of that without feet!
Of course, we all have feet. The conversations serve as a way for us to acknowledge our resiliency.
There is a lot of truth in our jokes. In fact, you might think of the jokes as a coping mechanism for dealing with hard truths. Some of us had it worse than others. People who are aware of our backstory always ask the same question, How’d you make it out?
The answer is simple: luck.
Luck is the one thing that bonds us. It’s why I’m now a writer, why my friend Tony instructs free fitness trainings, and why my cousin Kevin works with kids. We are all from the street, but we were fortunate enough to avoid being murdered or getting locked up for fifty years for a crime we didn’t commit. Well, there’s still a chance for these things to happen. We still live in Baltimore.
I’m from the east side of town—my neighborhood is called DDH, short for Down Da Hill, or what many of us call Down Bottom. The row homes in my neighborhood cascade downward on a series of sloping hills. Like most of East Baltimore, or Baltimore in general, every family isn’t poor or soaring below the poverty line, but the drug trade has affected us all, creating many different realities.
Some of us fell while others were able to fly.
THIS IS HOW IT WORKS . . .
My A1 from day one was Hurk, Wop seen it all, and I crushed on Nay.
Hurk’s mother was a junkie. His father, we don’t know. Fathers were rare back when we were growing up. His living situation was always dysfunctional and kids around our neighborhood reminded him about it daily: Ya mova smoke crack!
You ain’t got no daddy!
You dirty!
And so on. Hurk’s shoes would bust at the seams where the string unraveled. His clothes stunk. It wasn’t because the homie was