Spinning Forward
By Terri DuLong
3.5/5
()
About this ebook
A New Englander born and bred, the last place Sydney Webster expects to find herself starting over is on an island off the coast of Florida. Yet here she is in Cedar Key, trying to pull herself together after her husband's untimely death--and the even more untimely revelation of his gambling addiction. Bereft of her comfortable suburban life, Syd takes shelter at a college pal's bed and breakfast, where amidst the bougainvillea blossoms and the island's gentle rhythms, a plan begins to form. . .
Syd never considered the possibility of turning her passion for spinning and knitting into something more than a hobby, but when the unique composition of her wool draws attention, a door is opened--the first among many. Yet even as she ventures out of her comfort zone, Syd finds herself stepping into the embrace of a community rich with love, laughter, friendship. . .and secrets. And as long-hidden truths are revealed, Syd faces a choice: spin a safety net--or spin decidedly forward and never look back. . .
"Poignant, absorbing, humorous. . .a debut that tugs at the heart."
--Sophia Nash, author of A Dangerous Beauty
"Captures the essence of what often lies in each of our hearts. Don't miss it!"
--J.L. Miles, author of Cold Rock River
Born and raised in north of Boston, Terri DuLong now resides with her husband, two dogs, and three cats on an island off the west coast of Florida. A retired Registered Nurse, she began her writing career as a contributing writer for Bonjour Paris, where she shared her travel experiences to France in over forty articles with a fictional canine narrator. Terri's love of knitting provides quiet time to develop her characters and plots for her future novels.
Terri DuLong
Born and raised north of Boston, Terri DuLong was previously a resident of Cedar Key, Florida. She now resides on the east coast of the state in Ormond Beach with her husband, three dogs, and two cats. A retired registered nurse, she began her writing career as a contributing writer for Bonjour Paris, where she shared her travel experiences to France in more than 40 articles with a fictional canine narrator. Terri’s love of knitting provides quiet time to develop her characters and plots as she works on her new Ormond Beach novels. You can visit her website at terridulong.com or at her Facebook fan page, facebook.com/TerriDuLongAuthor.
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Reviews for Spinning Forward
74 ratings18 reviews
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5A cozy story with a number of characters to enjoy. I selected the book for the knitting angle, but it was not all that central to the story. OK for a relaxing read. I would say it was moderately well written with beautiful descriptions of the scenery on the island. Perhaps it was just the formatting in the kindle version, but the transitions between events were often without warning. Themes of birth, death, love and commitment are explored.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Great story of what to do when life turns you curve after curve. Well-written and great characters. Awesome debut novel...can't wait for more.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Another enjoyable book to relax and read. This is the first of I think three in a series. Nice knitting features also.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Spinning Forward is a debut novel written by Terri Dulong. Her writing is reminiscent of Debbie Macomber but she definitely spins her own style within this novel. I enjoy women's fiction and books about knitting and that cover with the pink yarn definitely drew me in. This isn't a cotton candy fluffy novel, it is a wonderful tale of friendship, new beginnings and connections of the heart. Sydney is from New England and finds herself starting over in her 50's on the island of Cedar Key in Florida. Her husband died suddenly revealing secrets that she had never known as she tended to take a passive, behind the scenes role in her life and marriage. She stays with her college friend Ali who owns a Bed & Breakfast and must find a way to go forward. Sidney turns her passion for spinning and knitting into a specialty shop and must find her way within the community of Cedar Key. There is love, friendship, secrets, challenges and reaching forward to a new life. Spinning Forward is full of wonderful characters and the charm of small community life. I did enjoy the story as it's not too heavy or romancy but has a good balance of charm and wit. Some of the story was predictable but that didn't sway my enjoyment of this novel.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5This book was charming. Although I agree with the reviews that it is very predictable, it is also the kind of nice happy ending that you need to read from time to time. My only real quandry with this book is that the main character was really whiny. This has no reflection on Dulong's writing however. Her style is just descriptive enough, and to the point - it flows and makes the reader want to keep turning pages. A nice, quick read.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5What would you do if you were recently widowed and you found out you didn't know your husband at all? After packing up and moving to a tropical island B&B, Sydney decides to open a yarn shop, which starts a tumultuous relationship with a moody man. There are long-buried secrets on this island, one which may make Sydney question everything she knows about herself. This was an engaging spin on the mid-life crisis genre.
- Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5This is a story about a women trying to rediscover herself after losing her husband. Syndey the mother of one daughter, relocates to the lovely town of Cedar Key. She is invited to stay in a room owned by a college friend. Syndey meets some interesting people and attempts to start over again. While I liked the characters and the description of Cedar Key I found the story to be very predictable. I knew exactly where the author was going with each story line and character. This book left me wanting much more from the story. If I had not received this book from Library Thing to read and review, I would have set this one aside after the first 50 pages.
- Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5This is the story of 52-year-old Sydney Webster, who finds herself starting over after 28 years of marriage to a rather unexciting, but stable physician. Trouble is, he wasn't as stable as she thought - he had a gambling addiction that she was unaware of until he died. Sydney moves to Florida to live at a college friend's bed and breakfast, and starts taking knitting classes. I wanted to like this book, but it just didn't have enough originality or spark in the writing - the chapters start with cliches, such as "Life is what happens when you are making other plans." The book's heart is in the right place, but I just think the concept has been executed better in the Friday Night Knitting Club series.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Sydney Webster, a widow, was evicted from her home after the death of her husband, an addicted gambler who left his estate in debt. She moves to Cedar Keys, Florida, to stay with her friend Alison, where she hopes to rest and to learn what direction her life should take. This engaging first novel, by author Terri Dulong, relates the story of Sydney’s self-discovery using her gifts of knitting and spinning yarn while finding healing and growth among friends and family. This book is warm and satisfying story, highly recommended by this writer.Happily, Terri Dulong, a LibraryThing Author, is planning the release of Book 2 of the Cedar Keys series in November 2010.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I received Spinning Forward by Terri DuLong as a Library Thing Early Reviewer. This isn't the type of book I typically read, but I did very much enjoy it. I found the dialogue to be a bit stilted and the Southern dialect to be unrealistic. Maybe it's regional, but I don't know very many people who use "it sure nuff is" or call people Miss So'n'So as often as Ms. DuLong inserted those two Southernisms into conversation. However, as she lives in Florida and I don't, I could be wrong! The plot is very predictable, but that's ok. The relationships between the characters were very well-done. I particularly enjoyed the Blue Moon scene near the end, and, as a knitter, I enjoyed the knitting references, too. I will pass this one on to my mom, who I think will really enjoy it, and I have already recommended it as a choice for her book club.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Spinning Forward transforms Sydney Webster from a fifty something woman who has been observing her life from a detached prospective to a person actively alive. In the past Sydney seems to have been peripheral to herself. The death of a husband she really didn't know and the loss of all her creature comforts forces her into self discovery. As I watched Sydney flounder, suffer and stive to become comfortable with herself, I found myself questioning how many choices in my life have been active ones. Sydney Webster reminds us that living in the now is an ongoing challenge.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Fast, enjoyable read. A coming of age story about a women in her fifties. Sydney is forced to start over after the sudden death of her husband and discovery of his gambling addiction. With a month until she is evicted from her home, Sydney decides to visit her best friend from college who owns a bed and breakfast in a small coastal town. Sydney grieves and finds the life she never knew she was missing.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Sydney was living a comfortable life until her husband died in a car accident. Soon after, a knock on the door signals the end of that life and sets her on a new path. She visits her college friend (who just happens to own a B&B) in Florida. Ali ends up being not only a great friend but also a guide of sorts - to Sydney finding her true self. Not an easy task.There are also surprises in store for Sydney. She discovers information that brings new layers to her life. One piece of information is an unbelievable coincidence. She meets wonderful people who offer her acceptance and help. I really liked these characters although I wanted to know more about each of them. Since this is the first in the Cedar Key series I'm sure I'll learn much more about them.I enjoyed Spinning Forward - maybe because I'm about the same age as Sydney and could identify with a few of the things she was forced to face (not so much the major issues but other things women of the same age group might deal with). Because of that, I think this would be a good selection for book groups. Lots to discuss. A Reading Group Guide can be found at the end of the book.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Sydney Webster finds herself having to start her life over again at the age of fifty-two due to the unexpected death of her husband.....and the aftermath of his gambling problem. Her best friend from college, Alison, offers her sancutary at the bed and breakfast she owns in Cedar Keys, Florida. Sydney is an avid knitter and spinner and one night, while being observed spinning with some pretty unusual fiber, by one of the other guests, she is offered an opportunity to do something that she is already passionate about: knitting and spinning. With the help of the motley group of resident of Cedar Key, she finds renewed hope, love and is able to find a piece of herself that she never knew existed. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book and am grateful for the opportunity to read it. I felt that the characters were well rounded and easy to relate to. The story had a good flow to it and was very hard, at times, to put down! It's my understanding that this is a first in a series. I can't wait to visit with Sydney and Cedar Key again! Those that enjoyed other books of this genre, such as "The Friday Night Knitting Club" and "The Knitting Circle", I believe would like this book as well.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Spinning Forward by Terri DulongContemporary Romance- October 27th, 20094 ½ starsSpinning Forward is about new beginnings. Syd Webster moves to a small island after her husband dies. Things work out just when you don't expect them to sometimes. And this is the case with Syd. Somehow finds herself: opening a yarn shop, getting to know her biological mother with the little times she has left, and meeting a wonderful man. These were all things that Syd never expected, especially since she has a 26-year old daughter and had initially planned to just take life one day at a time. However, Syd is learning to meet with both triumph and disaster and all that comes with leading a very busy life in a small town. This was a magical and intensely gripping novel. I especially liked reading about Syd’s relationship with her mother even though the story becomes so emotional. Get those tissues ready! I found Spinning Forward to be more of a life story, with bits of romance sprinkled into the rich story telling. Terri Dulong’s writing style reminded me of works by Debbie Macomber and Catherine Coulter and is sure to please fans of contemporary romance who love a lot of heart in their stories.Reviewed by Sophia from the Bookaholics Romance Book Club
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5This book isn't the type that I usually choose to read, but I'm glad I got to read it. The story was about a newly widowed 50-something year old woman who moves to a new town to start over. Being good at knitting, she opens a yarn shop, but that's not a major part of the story. The book is mostly about mother-daughter relationships, finding yourself, and how it's never too late for anything. The ending was a bit sad but also heart-warming and hopeful.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I read this book during the read-a-thon and it was a true joy to read. I enjoyed the character of Sydney. She's a fifty-something that has just lost her husband and her house and has to start over completely. Who wouldn't be floundering after all of that? Add to it that she was just going through the motions of life and doesn't really know what to do and you have a great character who struggles to grow and change through the book.I was captivated by the small town of Cedar Key. I live on the coast myself and even though my area is growing, it once had that small-town feel, so I felt right at home. I adored the supporting characters. Allison, her best friend. Dora who ends up being a big help and even the eccentric characters in the story really make it. Everyone plays a role in Sydney's new life and they are all interesting characters themselves, who I look forward to reading more about.There are several things that contribute to the storyline and I don't want to give away anything about the plot. But suffice it to say it's very engaging and interesting the whole way through. I couldn't put it down and I enjoyed every minute I read. Sometimes you get bogged down when reading a book straight through during a read-a-thon, but that did not happen with Spinning Forward. When I finished I immediately wanted to go back and hear more about the characters which since this is book one in the Cedar Key series, I guess I will get to and I look forward to it.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Spinning Forward makes me want to move right down to Cedar Key. With a warm, small town cast of characters interested in helping each other, the novel makes the reader think, "What would I do if I had to start my life over?" Sydney Webster, the main character, is relatable in her process of beginning anew in middle age. While bits of the plot are improbable, that's what makes it fiction. Based on the title and cover, I was expecting a heavy emphasis on knitting (ala Debbie Macomber's Blossom Street series). Much to my surprise, that emphasis was not there, making this novel appeal to the non-knitting readers as well. It's a fun read, and I look forward to seeing more from this author.
Book preview
Spinning Forward - Terri DuLong
Forward
1
Whining drew my attention to the fawn-colored Boxer curled up beside the bed. Lilly had been my constant companion for four years and now she was my salvation. With my home, my assets, my life as I knew it taken from me, Lilly was my one factor of stability.
Living on an island off the west coast of Florida wasn’t something that I planned to be doing at age fifty-two. Twenty-eight years of marriage to a successful physician provided a lifestyle that I not only enjoyed, but took for granted. Okay, so maybe Stephen wasn’t the most passionate and romantic man on the planet, but he created a sense of security in my life. That is, until his Mercedes crashed into a cement barrier on I-495 in Lowell, leaving me a widow with no sense of direction and no knowledge of a secret he harbored.
Two weeks following his funeral, I had been working my way through the grieving process when I was zapped with another shock. I opened the door of my Lexington, Massachusetts home to find a sheriff standing on my front porch, knowing full well this wasn’t going to be good news. My first thought was concern for Monica, my twenty-six-year-old daughter.
Are you Sydney Webster?
he’d questioned.
Yes. Yes, I am. What’s wrong?
Despite the chill of the October day, beads of perspiration formed on my upper lip.
He’d cleared his throat and with downcast eyes passed me a large envelope.
Ma’am, I’m sorry to have to deliver this to you, but it’s a certified notice for your eviction.
"My what?" I felt lightheaded and gripped the door frame.
Eviction of premises. You have thirty days to pack up your belongings and vacate the house.
I’d thought it was a joke. Somebody had seen Stephen’s funeral announcement in the paper and was playing a prank on me. The house had been paid for years ago. Nobody could just show up and kick me out of my own house. This didn’t happen to law-abiding citizens.
Clutching the envelope with sweaty palms, I’d torn it open and removed an official-looking piece of paper. All I saw was a blur of words, making no sense out of what was happening.
I’m sorry, Mrs. Webster,
he’d told me. I really am. I’ll return in thirty days at nine A.M. to make sure your belongings are removed and obtain the house keys from you.
This is a mistake,
I babbled. A major mistake.
Closing the door, I slid down the length of the wall, my sobs shattering the quiet of the house.
And here I was five weeks later on an island off the west coast of Florida. In a quaint but small room at the Cedar Key B&B, and I knew for certain none of it had been a mistake. Stephen’s secret vice of gambling and the events that followed were what had brought me to this small town of nine hundred permanent residents, relying on the hospitality of my best friend Alison.
Come on, girl,
I said, swinging my legs to the side of the bed. Time for you to go out and for me to get some coffee.
The bedside clock read 6:15. At home I never woke before 9:00 and was amazed that in the week I’d been staying at Alison’s B&B, I didn’t sleep beyond 6:30. Slipping into sweat pants and a T-shirt, I grabbed my pack of cigarettes and with Lilly close at my heels we descended the stairs to the porch.
Opening the door to the small L-shaped dining room, I saw a middle-aged couple quietly conversing over coffee and made my way to the kitchen.
Mornin’,
Twila Faye said as she removed freshly baked blueberry muffins from the oven.
Twila Faye was Alison’s right hand running the B&B and I liked her. She’d raised her only son alone after her philandering husband had left town twenty years before with a tourist visiting from Macon, Georgia. Raised in the Boston area, I didn’t know much about Southern women, but I knew Twila Faye represented what they called true grit.
Pouring myself a cup of dark, strong coffee, I asked if Alison was around.
Lord, child, she’s already out for her walk with Winston.
I should have known. I felt slothful when I had discovered that Ali woke seven days a week at 5:00 A.M. She never varied from her routine. Up at five, she prepared muffins, brewed the coffee, squeezed oranges for fresh juice, and by 6:00, her guests had breakfast waiting for them. Then she rounded up her Scottish terrier for a walk downtown to the beach.
I looked at the clock over the table and saw it would be another twenty minutes before she returned.
I’m going to sit in the garden with my coffee,
I told Twila Faye.
Take one of these muffins with you.
Patting my tummy, I shook my head. I’m trying to lose the twenty pounds I packed on this past year. I’ll have some cereal later.
Settling myself on the swing in the far corner of the garden, I lit up a cigarette. Blowing out the smoke, it crossed my mind once again that perhaps smoking was another bad habit I should consider discarding.
I watched Lilly sniffing around the artfully arranged flower beds. Bright, vivid azalea bushes in shades of red. Yellow hibiscus gave forth cheer even on a dreary day. And dominating all of it was the huge, four-hundred-year-old cypress tree. I looked up at the leaves creating shade over the garden and wondered about something being on this earth that length of time. Having withstood tropical storms and hurricanes, drought and floods, it stood proud and secure. Right now secure was the last thing I was feeling. I had an overpowering urge to climb the tree. All the way to the top. And maybe absorb some of the positive energy that it seemed to contain. But with arthritis recently affecting my knees, I decided to stay put on the swing.
Physically, I was in pretty good shape for my age. If we discount the extra twenty pounds and smoking, that is. But emotionally, my life was a train wreck.
Good morning,
Ali called, walking through the gate along the brick walkway. Let me put these shells inside and I’ll join you with coffee.
I nodded and smiled. Ali always had a way of cheering me up. Ever since our college days as roommates, she’d always been there for me as a good friend. A no-nonsense-type person, she stepped in when I called her about my eviction. She demanded I drive down with Lilly, a few belongings, and stay with her at the B&B. She apologized that the second-floor apartment in the Tree House was rented till January, but I could stay in one of the rooms in the main part of the house. The Tree House was detached and located on the side of the garden. Ali had her apartment on the first floor and sometimes rented the one above. Feeling like a homeless person—actually, I was—I was grateful to have any space where Lilly and I could stay. But I won’t lie…going from a 4,500-square-foot luxury home to a 12 x 12 bedroom with adjoining bath was like giving up a BMW 700 for a military jeep.
I see you still haven’t given up those disgusting things,
Ali said, settling in the lounge beside me.
I snubbed out my cigarette in the ashtray and remained silent. I could have said plenty. Like she was the one that turned me on to cigarettes in the first place, during our freshman year in college. Everyone smoked back then, until it became a health issue long after our college days. I also could have said, unlike her, I hadn’t dabbled in smoking pot. But I let it slide and took a sip of my coffee. The only rule that Ali had imposed when I moved in was no smoking inside the B&B.
Ali flung the long salt-and-pepper braid hanging over her shoulder to her back. She hadn’t changed much since our college graduation. Tall and still very slim. Only faint lines beside her eyes attested to the passing years. She was wearing shorts that showed off her long legs, and a crisp white blouse. Her bronze tan reminded me of the days we used to spend (without sunscreen) on the beaches of Cape Cod.
So what are your plans today?
she asked.
Plans? I was beginning to feel like an inert creature since arriving in Cedar Key. I had ventured downtown a couple of times. Taken a few walks with Lilly. Read a couple books. But other than that, I felt lost. It had even crossed my mind a few times that maybe I should return to the Boston area. Which always led me to question, to what? My life, as I knew it, had been snatched away from me.
As if reading my mind, Ali said, Look, Syd, I know you’ve been through a hell of a lot these past couple months. Losing Stephen and then the eviction, but you’ve got to pull yourself together and decide what you’ll be doing for the rest of your life. You can’t just turn off.
Anger simmered inside of me. What the hell would you suggest I do? I have no job. I haven’t worked as a nurse in twenty-six years. I’m not sure I’d even remember which end of a syringe to use. I have no training in anything else. My bank account is on low. I have no clue what I’m going to do.
I swiped at the tears now falling down my cheeks.
Ali reached over and patted my hand. I don’t mean to be hard on you, but it’s very easy for a woman in your situation to regress. You’re in a funk and you need to do something to get yourself moving forward. What happened to that girl I knew in college? The take-charge, independent woman, who knew where she was going and how she was going to get there?
She married Stephen,
I said and realized that was true. He wasn’t supposed to die at fifty-five. And he sure as hell wasn’t supposed to leave me financially insecure. It’s damn difficult not to be angry with the rotten hand life suddenly dealt me.
As soon as I said the words, I felt embarrassed. Alison had gone through similar circumstances twenty years before. Gary had died suddenly after a three-month battle with cancer. Leaving her alone, with no children and no future. Within a year of his death, she had shocked me with the news that she was uprooting. Relocating to an island off the west coast of Florida where she had vacationed as a child. She explained the place was calling to her and she felt certain she could heal there. She had been right. Purchasing the B&B had turned her into a savvy businesswoman, and given her an increased confidence. Something I definitely lacked.
That’s total bullshit and you know it. Life isn’t fair, so you move along and make the best of it.
I sighed and reached to light up another cigarette. Sometimes all of this feels like a dream. In the blink of an eye my entire life has changed. Stephen was well regarded in our community and at Mass General. We had a wide circle of friends and entertained lavishly. Sure, he had been preoccupied recently, but I thought it was his work. Certainly not illness. When the autopsy revealed a massive coronary had caused the accident, I thought it had been a mistake. Just like I thought the eviction was a mistake. Imagine—he was a compulsive gambler all those years and I didn’t realize it.
You allowed Stephen to run the household financially. He paid the bills, he balanced the checkbook. You’re being a little hard on yourself, Syd. I’m not saying it was right, but since you had no idea where money was going, how could you know he’d taken out a second and third mortgage on your house?
I nodded and felt ashamed. But I should have known. I should have paid more attention, but Stephen made it so easy for me not to. I remembered the conversation with our attorney the day I was slapped with the eviction notice.
Whose name is on the deed to the house?
Calvin asked.
My mind had gone blank. Whose name? Our name,
I told him, clutching the phone to my ear. What difference does it make?
A big difference, I’m afraid. And Stephen’s name is on there.
Yeah, so? Okay. His name is on there,
I’d told Calvin with impatience.
"You’re not following me, Syd. Only Stephen’s name. Your name isn’t on the deed. Did he purchase your home in his name only?"
What the hell difference does that make? I’m his widow and beneficiary. Why would I be evicted?
Calvin’s insistent voice repeated, Did Stephen purchase the house in his name only?
Yes,
I had whispered.
I ran a hand through my hair and looked at Ali. I should have gotten that deed changed years ago. It was the week before Thanksgiving and I was due to deliver Monica any minute. We got an early blizzard that year in Boston and Stephen assured me I didn’t need to attend the closing. I guess I always felt we were married and the house was half mine anyway, even though my name wasn’t on the deed. Over the years there never seemed a reason to change things. Now it’s come back to bite me.
Ali sipped her coffee and remained silent.
I still find it hard to believe that Stephen mortgaged our house to pay off some large gambling debts. And then, making it worse, he defaulted on the loan and was three months in arrears.
Syd, sometimes you never know the person you’re living with. Really know them. I’m sure Stephen’s stress level was off the charts. Knowing that the bank was about to take possession of your home for non-payment.
Anger flared up again inside of me. And now they’ll sell the house for close to a million and I’m left a bag lady. Literally.
Ali smiled. I’ll never let you be a bag lady. You don’t need to worry about that. But speaking of bags, where’s that spinning wheel and knitting bag you brought down here with you?
Up in my room,
I replied with no enthusiasm.
Maybe that should be your plan for today. Sit out here, enjoy the great weather, and do some knitting. That always relaxes you and allows you to think clearly. Try to focus on what you might like to do. Fifty-something is the new thirty—you have the rest of your life ahead of you.
As always, Ali was right. Feeling sorry for myself was getting me nowhere. Maybe I needed to regroup and figure out where I might be going.
2
Sitting in the garden with the late-afternoon sun creating lacy patterns on the grass, I watched Lilly romp and play with Winston. She sure seemed to have settled in quite well. My eye caught the flashy pink bougainvillea draped along the fence and gate. Circular flower beds held purple lantana with butterflies hovering above the blossoms. It was easy to see why Ali had been drawn to this place. I was captivated with the dramatic green of the old cypress tree. The circumference was at least ten or eleven feet, with thick, knotted roots emerging from the ground. My life was in limbo, but sitting beneath the majestic tree provided me a certain amount of tranquility.
I leaned forward toward my spinning wheel and heard a woman’s voice.
My goodness, I haven’t seen one of those since my grandmother’s attic.
I recognized her as the guest in room four. Yeah, it does have an authentic look. That’s what attracted me to it. The brochure said it has the look of wheels from the Baltic area of Poland and Scandinavia. In fact, a well-known spinning-wheel historian said that the manner in which the wheel was built is as close to being historically correct as he’d seen.
Oh, it’s absolutely lovely.
The woman reached to touch the walnut finish. And what on earth are you spinning? Is that dog fur?
I laughed and nodded. Yeah, this happens to be Winston’s fur.
What a clever idea. So you spin the fur into yarn?
Sure. Just like alpaca or any other kind of fiber. Then you knit with it.
Excitement spread across the woman’s face. Oh, my goodness. If I mailed you some fur from my Bailey—he’s my Old English sheepdog—would you be willing to spin it for me?
When I hesitated, she added, I’ll pay you for your services, of course.
Pay me for my services? To spin dog fur? Well, uh…I’ve never really done this for other people. I mean…
I’d need enough to knit myself a sweater. I’d be the hit of my knitting club, I can tell you that. How’s two hundred dollars? Would that be adequate?
I was flabbergasted that somebody would offer me money to do something I enjoyed.
I’ll add another hundred,
she said. I know it’s presumptuous of me to even ask you. But I adore my Bailey and he’s getting on in years. To think I could have a part of him with me forever. I’d be so indebted to you. By the way, I’m Lucille—Lucille Graystone, but you can call me Lu.
I had no idea if the price was too high or maybe not enough. It did involve a certain amount of work to prepare the fur for spinning. After being properly cleaned, it then had to be carded. Not to mention the labor of spinning it. I knew how I felt about Lilly and couldn’t think of the day she’d no longer be with me so it was easy to understand how Lu wanted a keepsake of Bailey. Besides, I was desperate to earn some money.
Alright,
I told her. I’ll do it for you, but I have to explain what you need to do before mailing it to me. Plus, you’ll require quite a bit of fur for a sweater unless you want to combine the fur with another yarn.
Lu threw her head back laughing. Bailey sheds so much, quantity won’t be a problem.
Well, hey girlfriend, you could be on to something here,
Ali said later that evening. You might want to think about opening your own business. Spinning pet fur for devoted owners.
We were sitting on the porch after supper enjoying a glass of sweet tea.
I don’t think so. I haven’t a clue about running a business.
Neither did I when I bought this place.
I shook my head. No, I’ll do this favor for Lu, but I wouldn’t know where to begin starting a company. I do need to begin thinking about a job though. Any ideas?
Alison sighed. Hmm, not really. Unless you’re a merchant, most of the jobs on the island are cleaning, waitress positions, or clerks. Minimum pay.
Oh, God. I haven’t been a waitress since my college days.
The emptiness I’d been feeling since Stephen’s death overwhelmed me as moisture filled my eyes. What the hell am I going to do, Ali? It’s not like I’m sixteen again and can run home to my parents. They’re both gone now anyway. Monica has been extra cool toward me since she found out about the foreclosure on the house. Not that I’d ask her for help anyway.
Ali remained silent, sipping her tea thoughtfully. After a few minutes she said, I hate to be so brutally honest, Syd, but I guess the time has come for you to figure out what you want to be when you grow up.
I flashed her a nasty look. With raised eyebrows, I said, What’s that supposed to mean?
"You’ve always been somebody’s daughter, wife, mother. You know yourself you relied on Stephen way too much and as a result you lost your own identity over the years. Haven’t you ever wondered about the real you? Who you are inside? Not that person created by other people. She paused for a second.
Have you ever thought about searching for your biological parents?"
I sat up straighter in the chair and took a deep breath. Oddly enough, after losing Stephen it had crossed my mind again to wonder if the woman who had given me life might still be alive. Perhaps I wasn’t completely alone in the world. I’d shared my adoption story with Ali years ago, but we hadn’t discussed it recently. There was nothing earth-shattering about it. Vanessa and Bob Sherwood had been unable to have children of their own. They applied to adopt a child and brought me home when I was three weeks old. I had been told as a young child that I was adopted and it always made me feel special. When I got to be a teen, I became curious and questioned my mother about that other woman. All she could tell me was that I’d been born in New York City, March 19, 1955. I weighed 7 pounds, 12 ounces. I assumed that the woman who had given me away was young and unwed. The typical story.
I reached for a chip from the bowl in front of us and shrugged. I always wanted to search, but I felt it would be a betrayal to my parents. They gave me a good life. You know that.
Yeah, but I remember when Monica was born. You questioned if maybe she’d inherited looks or traits from your real parents and it bothered you. I tried to encourage you to begin a search. I think your parents would have understood. It’s only natural to be curious and want to know exactly where we came from. Genes aren’t everything in forming us, but they do matter.
Ali was right. It wasn’t that I felt like a misfit in my adopted family, but I had always felt a void. I used to wonder if maybe my smile was passed on from a cousin or aunt that I’d never met. Had my mother enjoyed knitting like I did? I hadn’t seemed to get many traits from my adopted parents.
Do it,
Ali said.
I looked at her with surprise. Do what?
Search for your biological mother,
she said forcefully. You’re floundering, Syd. You’ve lost all that you knew as your way of life. You need to move on and maybe locating some information about that woman will help you to do that. We all need a touchstone. Something to make us feel whole and understand why we’re the person we are. I think the time has come for you to discover that.
I recalled shortly after Monica was born that I went so far as to research A.L.M.A. on the Internet. Adoptee’s Liberty Movement Association was located in Denville, New Jersey. I never bothered to list my own name though. Maybe I was afraid of what I might find. But now, at age fifty-two, I had a compelling need to search for my roots. Find out where I had come from. And perhaps enable myself to find out where I was going.
You could be right,
I told Ali. Maybe it’s an innate desire in all of us. Whether we admit it or not.
I took the last sip of my tea and placed the glass on the table. Could I use your computer tomorrow to list myself on A.L.M.A.?
Ali put up her hand for a high five. Absolutely. And something else I think you should do is scout around town for some space and see about opening a knitting shop. There’re a few shops downtown that are being refurbished. I’d bet anything one of them would be perfect for you.
I thought of my bank account dwindling down to nothing after putting a deposit for a lease. And stock? Where would I get the money to order supplies to get me started? After voicing my misgivings to Ali, I was sorry I’d mentioned it.
I can give you a loan, Syd. You know I would.
"Yeah, I know you would, and I don’t want you to. If, and I say if, I’m going to do this, it has to be on my own. I’m just not sure I’m ready for that step. What if it falls apart and I lose everything?"
For Christ’s sake, life is a risk. You’ll certainly get nowhere if you don’t take a chance. It’s the same with your search. If you don’t even try, you’ll never find your biological mother.
Ali always gave me something to think about. She pushed me to pursue things I wouldn’t ordinarily do. Like the time in our sophomore year in college she found out I couldn’t swim. She insisted I could and after three weeks of her instruction at the college pool, she proved me wrong.
I let out a deep sigh. I’ll think about it,
I told her. Wanting to change the subject, I asked when I was going to meet the mysterious Paul.
Ali laughed and then surprised me as a crimson flush covered her face.
"I told you. He works for a large pharmaceutical company in Atlanta. It isn’t that easy for him to get down here a lot. And