Girl Unknown: A Novel
By Karen Perry
3.5/5
()
About this ebook
Girl Unknown by critically acclaimed author Karen Perry is a powerful novel that “Explores emotional danger with relentless, surgical accuracy.”
—Tana French, New York Times bestselling author of The Trespasser and In the Woods
David and Caroline Connolly are swimming successfully through their marriage’s middle years—raising two children; overseeing care for David’s ailing mother; leaning into their careers, both at David’s university teaching job, where he’s up for an important promotion, and at the ad agency where Caroline has recently returned to work after years away while the children were little. The recent stresses of home renovation and of a brief romantic betrayal (Caroline’s) are behind them. The Connollys know and care for each other deeply.
Then one early fall afternoon, a student of sublime, waiflike beauty appears in David’s university office and says, “I think you might be my father.” And the fact of a youthful passion that David had tried to forget comes rushing back. In the person of this intriguing young woman, the Connollys may have a chance to expand who they are and how much they can love, or they may be making themselves vulnerable to menace. They face either an opportunity or a threat—but which is which? What happens when their hard-won family happiness meets a hard-luck beautiful girl?
Karen Perry
Karen Perry is the pen name of Dublin-based authors Paul Perry and Karen Gillece. Together they wrote Girl Unknown. Paul Perry is the author of a number of critically acclaimed books. A recipient of the Hennessy Award for New Irish Writing, he teaches creative writing at University College, Dublin. Karen Gillece is the author of several critically acclaimed novels. In 2009 she won the European Union Prize for Literature (Ireland).
Related to Girl Unknown
Related ebooks
The Story of My Face Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The Number of Man: (a short story) Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Omen Days: A Ghost Story: (a short story), #2 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDeaf Row: A Mystery Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Fire Killer: The BRAND NEW edge-of-your-seat crime thriller from Ross Greenwood Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Night Book Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5After She'd Gone Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Sisters of Blue Mountain: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5After Everything You Did: An absolutely addictive crime thriller Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5You Can Go Home Now: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Mountain in My Shoe Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Catch Your Death Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Killing Streak Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The One That Got Away Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsLady Chevy: A Novel Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsStolen Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Cursed Man: A Psychological Thriller Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5And She Was: A Novel of Suspense Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Woman Inside: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Suicide ( A Private Detective Mystery Series of crime mystery novels Book 9) Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWhat Jonah Knew: A Novel Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Mourning Hours Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHollow Man Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Friends Don’t Lie Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Lucky Eight: A gripping and unputdownable crime thriller Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Stolen Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Snow Killer: The start of an explosive crime series from Ross Greenwood Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Full Cold Moon Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Other Side of Everything: A Novel Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The Sacrifice of Lester Yates: A Novel Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5
Suspense For You
Then She Was Gone: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Housemaid Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Leave the World Behind: A Novel Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Pretty Girls: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Stories of Ray Bradbury Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5None of This Is True: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Perfect Marriage: A Completely Gripping Psychological Suspense Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Lagos Wife: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5It Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Fairy Tale Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Last Thing He Told Me: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Lying Game: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Institute: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Long Walk Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Girl Who Was Taken: A Gripping Psychological Thriller Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5If We Were Villains: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Paris Apartment: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Last Flight: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Maidens: A Novel Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Finders Keepers: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I'm Thinking of Ending Things: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Mr. Mercedes: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Misery Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Whisper Man: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5You: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Zero Days Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A Flicker in the Dark: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Holly Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Brother Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The It Girl Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Related categories
Reviews for Girl Unknown
63 ratings19 reviews
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5David and his wife Caroline live an ordinary life with their children Robbie and Holly. There family life is ripped apart by the arrival of Zoe who claims David is her father. I really enjoyed this book. There is something about these domestic thrillers that has me hooked. This book is no different. From the beginning I am drawn into the story.The story is told from the point of view of both David and Caroline. Both are affected differently with Zoe on the scene. In true domestic thriller fashion Zoe is perhaps not what she seems. There is plenty in this tale that kept my interest and I really wanted to see what was going to happen next. The story builds to climax with the twist. I didn't guess but could see where it was going.What I enjoy about this type of book is that the characters are ordinary people, with ordinary lives and it just shows that married life is not always bliss. Secrets and lies in a family life.I haven't read any books by this author before but would certainly read more. A very entertaining read about family life with a twist. I highly recommend this book.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Girl Unknown is the first thriller that I've read this year, and I have to say that it was a nice change of pace. Although this book wasn't everything I wanted it to be, there was a lot to love. Imagine a family that is trying their best to knit their lives back together, when suddenly a bomb is dropped in their midst. A previously unknown person, an unexpected daughter, falls right into the middle of their rocky relationships. That's the premise behind Girl Unknown. How do you deal with someone who might not be exactly who they say they are?The fact of the matter is that this book is not what I was expecting, because I was expecting more of the thriller aspect and less of the familial drama side of things. That being said, Girl Unknown is going to greatly appeal to any reader who is very into character personalities and drama that you can cut with a knife. Karen Perry uses most of this book to show us the character perspective of what Zoe is to each of them. As the story unfolds, we find out more and more about how Zoe is definitely not what she seems to be, and see why the choices that David and Caroline make are really pushing things towards their climax. If we're talking intense studies on character psyches, this book has that in droves. What it lacks though, because of this, is real forward movement.See, the book spends so much time dealing with the slow decline of David and Caroline's relationship and Zoe's manipulation of them, that it doesn't have a lot of time to spend on the thriller portion of the story. This felt like a read that was very easy to anticipate. The plot was well formed, but it was also easy to see where Zoe's story was going next. As such, there was never that surprise or shock that usually comes along with books like this. It was interesting, well-written, and had great characters. It just didn't have any oomph to it.So, that's why I'm on the fence about this book. Technically, it's fairly perfect. It's not a bad read, by any means, and actually flies by pretty quickly. It just didn't catch me up in its web like I expected it to. I wanted more punch, and more pizzazz. If you appreciate thrillers that are more formulaic, and take a deep dive into the the inner thoughts of the characters, you'll definitely love Girl Unknown.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/53.5 STARS As I read Girl Unknown I knew there was more to the story. There had to be a catch with Zoe. I had so many guesses and loves trying to follow the clues. Karen Perry threw so many twists and turns into the book that I knew the truth was buried in there somewhere. My struggle was David and Caroline. Their marriage was troubled before Zoe entered the picture and when she came into their life it became even more troubled. I didn’t like that David didn’t even consider Caroline’s concerns about Zoe. He didn’t put any thought into them, didn’t try to understand where Caroline was coming from, and just brushed her off. I got it, Zoe is his daughter he wants to love and trust her yet the signs were all there that she was trouble. The ending was the wonderful. When I got to the last few chapters I could not stop reading. The pace picked up, the secrets were shared, people were held accountable for their actions, and the final twist…never saw it coming.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5I guess I might call this a good beach read - the pages keep turning, with not a lot of characters or plot points to keep in mind. Although it is written by two authors, a man and a woman, and is framed in alternating chapters, by husband and wife, I didn't find the voices of the latter much different. The plot is fairly straightforward, quite obvious from the very beginning. There's something wrong with Zoe - what is it and what will happen because of it? The ending comes with a not very satisfying twist, and the lack of depth of character, particularly Zoe, was disappointing in a purported psychological thriller. Not very psychological and not very thrilling.
- Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5Girl Unknown is not one of the better books I’ve read. To begin with it was slow but the pace did pick up as the story of a very dysfunctional family continued. I appreciate LibraryThing allowing me to read this book but I do not recommend it as a good read.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Girl Unknown is written by two authors - Paul Perry and Karen Gillece. I mention this right off the bat as Girl Unknown is told in alternating chapters from a husband and wife and I wonder if each author took on one of the personas writing the book.David is a university professor. He is stunned when one of his first year students comes to his office professing to be his daughter. When DNA results prove that she is, he wants her to be part of his family, along with his son and daughter. But his wife Caroline, while welcoming Zoe on the surface, has her own doubts about Zoe's motives. And being privy to both David's and Caroline's take on the situation, the reader does as well.I did not like David at all. Even though he starts out trying to do the right thing, I found him somewhat entitled and smug. Without giving anything away, as the book progresses, his thoughts and actions became increasingly disturbing to me. Caroline has made mistakes in the past and is far from perfect, but she is the character I was on side with the most. Zoe is a manipulator, beguiling David and toying with his wife, children and friends. I wondered what her end game was.Kudos to Perry and Gillece for creating such strong reactions in this reader. Their depiction of this couple's interactions is really well done. And I liked the back and forth of the chapters, seeing the same events through different eyes. As the cracks in their foundation widen with the addition of Zoe, the reader knows that things are not going to go well. And it was here that I grew saddened (and a little frustrated) with the inability of this couple to actually be honest with and listen to each other and to actually see what is going on in their lives.Those looking for a fast paced thriller won't find it in Girl Unknown. Instead it is a slow burn, with the tension and the inevitable outcome building with every chapter. But, I was caught unawares by the final turn the ending took. An unsettling, literary family drama.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I received this book as part of the Early Reviewers program. David and Caroline seem to have it all- a wonderful marriage and two kids. When a teenager, Zoe, appears in David’s college office one day with the claim that David might be her father, the family dynamics immediately change. Wanting to believe in his newly found daughter and have the opportunity to get to know her, David makes choices that affect both his wife and kids that give the appearance of prioritizing his new daughter over his current family.However, as details emerge, Zoe is not the innocent daughter that she is portraying herself as. Karen Perry tells an amazing well thought story with such well developed characters that pull the reader, grab you, and keep you reading frantically until the last stunning chapter and final page!
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5This is a page turner suspense novel that will keep you turning pages until the end. It's the first book that I've read by this author but definitely won't be the last. David and Caroline appear to be a successful young family. David is a college professor, Caroline has just gone back to work in advertising and they have two children. When everything changes, the cracks start to develop in their marriage and their family and its unsure whether they will survive. The change is brought about by Zoe, a student in one of David's classes who tells him one day that she thinks she is his daughter - someone he never knew existed. He wants to get to know her better and after a few meetings with his family, he invites her to live with them. His wife is very unsettled by this new addition and doesn't know whether to trust her. As the happy family of 4 becomes a family of 5, will the new addition make them stronger or tear them apart?The story was intriguing and suspenseful but I really didn't like any of the main characters - especially David and Caroline - they were well written but both very weak people. I can overlook my dislike of them and stay say this this is definitely a book worth reading.Thanks to librarything for a copy of this book to read and review. All opinions are my own.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Girl Unknown is a book about a dysfunctional family and what happens to them after the arrival of a young girl named Zoe. David and Caroline Connolly struggle with the appearance of Zoe who claims to be David's daughter from a relationship before David married.David has never forgotten his first love and now he becomes excited at the possibility of new beginnings with an unexpected daughter. But all is not what it seems. Zoe is cool and calculating with Caroline. Their other two teenage children are not sure if Zoe can be friend or foe. The family slowly unravels and tension mounts. I enjoyed how each chapter is told by a different family members viewpoint. This story starts off very slowly and gradually builds with suspense. But stay tuned for that twist at the end. I enjoyed reading this one. I received a complimentary book from Librarything Early Reviewers in exchange for an honest review.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5I don't generally read thrillers, but I have read Gone Girl and Girl on a Train, even saw both at the movies. Girl Unknown fits that category as a psychological thriller, although I am not sure I realized that when I requested it from the Early Reviewer program. Regardless, it was a nice change of pace from my usual fare. The authors, (Karen Perry is a pen name) Karen Gillece and Paul Perry, sure do know how to set a mood. I felt tension from the first words to the very last. The story involves a history professor and his wife and two children in Dublin, Ireland. They have a number of family issues, such as the professor's mother's health, and a brief affair that the mother had that they seemingly had overcome. They also each had some job issues that they are dealing with. This melodramatic saga is told in alternating voices of the husband and wife, giving their own unique perspective about the events and circumstances of their life.One day a student of the professor tells him she thinks he is her father, from a long ago affair with her mother. He was never informed by the mother and now the mother is dead. Slowly but surely the girl becomes part of the family's life, but not in a good way. Increasingly, she has a negative effect on each member of the family. It escalates in a way that begins tearing the family apart. What bothered me most was that if there was just a bit more communication between family members her effect would have been somewhat minimized. But even more than that the girl's motivation is never made clear. Is she just a sociopath or is there something more than that? I don't know. But it did keep me reading.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Whoa... I love me a great page turner, and this one did the job. Trapped in the house from the recent snow, I took advantage of some reading time. This book caught my attention from the beginning and kept my interest throughout. I thoroughly enjoyed it. It is actually still sitting on my nightstand - not ready to put it in the study, as I am debating on passing it on to have someone to discuss it with. Great read! I do like the other cover better.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Even though the story line has been done many times, the writing duo of Paul Perry and Karen Gellece has written a gripping, dark, psychological novel that I found hard to put down. It's about a loving family who already had some problems but when Zoe enters their lives, finds their world turned upside down. Zoe claims to be the daughter of college history professor, David, and he immediately invites her into his family's lives. The story is told in alternating voices of David and his wife, Caroline, and it was interesting to read the different viewpoints of what was going on with Zoe. Caroline who sees through Zoe's conniving, selfish, and mysterious ways, decides to do some investigating on her own. Caroline knows how Zoe is negatively affecting their two children, 11-year-old Holly and teen-age son, Robbie. As Zoe becomes involved in all aspects of the family's lives, their strained marriage becomes more tenuous.As a college professor, I felt the character of David was portrayed as much too gullible to be immediately taken in by Zoe's claim that he was her father. It was hard to relate to him and I wondered when he would take charge of the situation. This novel is well-plotted and it's a page-turner.Thanks to the publisher, Henry Holt & Company, via LibraryThing, for an ARC in exchange for my honest review.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5"Girl Unknown," by the Irish writing team of Paul Perry and Karen Gillece, is an interesting look at how easily a well-establihed life can be disrupted by a single event from one's past. In this case, the event is admittedly a significant one: David Connolly seems to have fathered a child some 18 years ago that he doesn't find out about until his "daughter" announces it to him during his regular school office hours. David is the father of two (or so he thinks it's only two), a boy a couple of years younger than his "new" daughter and an eleven-year-old girl. It is when David invites his big surprise to meet the rest of his family that things almost immediately become tense. The two females in his family are more than a bit suspect of Zoe, but the two males wholeheartedly embrace her as a member of the family. And then things begin to become strange. Who is Zoe? Is she what she claims to be? Is she a sociopath...a psychopath? Is she dangerous, or is she just a child looking for some stability in her life?Readers will keep turning pages to find out...and still might not be entirely sure at the end. This one is quite a ride.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Absorbing and suspenseful family drama - I wouldn't necessarily call it a thriller but it kept you guessing and intrigued. There were some plot points that weren't clarified or resolved but overall this was a quick and easy read.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5David and Caroline Connolly are are busy, professional parents raising two children. Their lives are interrupted when a young lady arrives and declares she is David’s daughter. The entire family is affected by the arrival of Zoe and their lives will be changed in numerous ways.A great read, a page turner with interesting characters.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Wow, this book was terrific!!! After reading a bunch of duds lately, I really needed a gripping read, and this was it in spades. I love a great adult psychological thriller, and this just ramps up the tension. The viewpoint alternates between the husband and wife, who already have a rift between them from past issues, and then suddenly, a daughter the husband didn't know about enters their lives and brings that family down even more. I couldn't put it down! A great read and highly recommended!
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5This novel's interesting premise unfolds in both expected and unexpected ways, leaving a seemingly happy family irrevocably broken. David Connolly, a university professor, is stunned when Zoe, a student in one of his classes, claims to be his daughter. David and his wife, Caroline, are struggling to restore their relationship after her brief affair, making the timing of this news even more difficult. David's long-ago love for Linda resulted in her pregnancy, although she didn't share it with David and they went their separate ways. Zoe is manipulative and devious with a complicated past. Her relationship with the Connollys and their children develops slowly, and leads toward a stunning conclusion. The suspense is palpable. My thanks to LibraryThing and to Henry Holt and Company for the opportunity to review this book.
- Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5There's an old saying that goes"Same Old, Same Old". That's how I felt reading Karen Perry's new book Girl Unknown. I've read this plot so many times. I think that's why I didn't connect with the characters. It wasn't until the last few chapters that I started to get a little interested.The writing was good and the book flowed but the plot of an unknown girl coming into a family's life causing problems and the consequences of her actions have been done again and again.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Wer denkt, dass Karen Perry eine Autorin ist, der denkt wie ich – und liegt ebenfalls falsch. Es ist ein Autorenduo und besteht aus Karen Gillece und Paul Perry. „Girl Unknown“ ist ihr drittes gemeinsames Buch, auf das ich mich schon lange gefreut habe, weil ich in den letzten Monaten ein Faible für solche Settings entwickelt habe – weg von den hard boiled Krimis, hin zu den Thrillern, deren Spannung eher psychologischer Natur sind. Ich kannte Gillece und Perry davor nicht, aber mit „Girl Unknown“ haben sie mich überzeugt.David ist Dozent für Geschichte an der UCD, der University College Dublin, und spätestens jetzt wissen wir auch, wo die Geschichte spielt. David ist Mitte vierzig und mit Caroline verheiratet, mit der er zwei Kinder hat, Holly und Robbie, sie elf, er fünfzehn. David ist mit Leidenschaft Akademiker und hofft, dass er bald einen eigenen Lehrstuhl bekommt. Als er von seiner späten Vaterschaft erfährt, ist er kurz verwirrt, später aber glücklich. Die Mutter kannte er vor einem halben Leben von der Uni in Nordirland, wo er einige Zeit war. Er lässt zwar einen Vaterschaftstest machen, aber eigentlich ist ihm das Ergebnis egal – er hat Zoë sofort ins Herz geschlossen.Caroline hat das mitnichten – nicht nur weil sie nicht ihre leibliche Mutter ist, sondern weil sie ihr nicht traut. Als sie Zoë auf der Uni konfrontiert, ist das junge Mädchen flapsig und keineswegs unsicher, noch weniger schüchtern. Aber sie kann David gegenüber nichts sagen, weil ihre Ehe nach einer Affäre, die sie vor einem Jahr hatte, noch immer auf tönernen Füßen steht.Es beginnt mit dem Prolog, in dem man einer Möwe begegnet und der auf den ersten Blick unbedeutend ist. Später kann man ihm jedoch den „Foreshadowing“-Stempel aufdrücken. Dann kommt Kapitel eins und schon werden wir vom Flügel der Möwe in die Geschichte gestoßen – die Möwe fliegt weiter, weil das Fliegen ihre Natur ist. Und der Leser liest weiter, weil – ihr ahnt es – das Lesen eben seine Natur ist. Und so lesen wir und lesen und können nicht mehr aufhören, ergötzen uns an dieser feingliedrigen Konstruktion dieser grandiosen Geschichte. Immer wieder wechseln mit jedem Kapitel die zwei Ich-Erzähler David und Caroline und erzählen uns im Nachhinein, wie sie das Leben mit der plötzlich aufgetauchten Tochter Zoë erlebt haben. Alles dreht sich in der Geschichte um Zoë, diese optisch engelhafte Erscheinung mit ihren blonden Locken und der zarten Figur – eine Harfe in die Hand und sie kann zur Geburt Jesu erscheinen.Aber sie ist alles andere als engelhaft, oh, ist sie gerissen wie sie alle gegeneinander aufhetzt, Vater, Mutter, Tochter, Sohn. Und genau das ist das Salz in dieser Buchstabensuppe von der man noch und noch einen Nachschlag will. In Zoë steckt Schwarz und Weiß, Yin und Yang, Dr. Jekyll und Mrs. Hyde; und als Leser will man nur noch wissen, wie es endet, also blättert man Seite um Seite weiter, wühlt sich durch diese knisternde Spannung, versucht Zoës Intrigen zu durchschauen und scheitert doch daran.Das klingt alles sehr einseitig, sehr undifferenziert, aber ich bin noch nicht fertig. Denn eines hat das Lesen anfangs doch etwas verlangsamt: nämlich die von Karen Gillece verfassten Kapitel über Caroline, in der sie uns von ihrem Familienleben und ihrer Affäre erzählt – so zäh diese anfangs im Gegensatz zu Davids Kapitel sind, so wichtig sind sie für den weiteren Verlauf der Geschichte. Und was mir auch gefehlt hat, war eine Erklärung zu Zoës Verhalten - man kann als Leser zwar mutmaßen, aber die Wenigsten von uns werden eine psychologische Ausbildung haben, um die richtigen Schlüsse zu ziehen.Was soll ich sagen? Das Buch ist einfach verdammt gut. Kudos an Gillece und Perry, die meine Erwartungen mehr als erfüllt haben.Tl;dr: „Girl Unknown“ von Karen Perry ist ein irrsinnig packender Psychothriller, den man, einmal angefangen, nicht mehr aus der Hand legen will. Mit einer irrsinnig gut konstruierten Geschichte und einem Mädchen, das es faustdick hinter den Ohren hat, die das Salz in der Suppe ist.
Book preview
Girl Unknown - Karen Perry
PROLOGUE
The water is cold but there is a promise of heat in the early morning air. It will not be long before sunlight reaches the garden. Insects buzz and rustle in the undergrowth, the scent of lavender drifts from pots on the terrace. Drips roll from the edge of the diving board, making lazy plopping sounds as they meet the rocking surface of the pool.
A seagull landing on the wall casts a beady eye downward into the water, scouting for food, or maybe just curious. The drips from the diving board slow.
The bird surveys the garden, the squat silent house beyond, shadows on the terrace. It raises a wing and with its yellow beak jabs at its feathers, rearranging them. It straightens up, folds back its wing.
Something in the water rolls—or rather someone. [The watchful seagull blinks.] The water darkens. A figure submerged, a face tilted, the mouth open but no shining thread of bubbles.
That sound—the drip-drip of blood hitting the slick surface of the pool before moving slowly through the blue-green water, mingling until it disappears.
PART 1
CHAPTER 1
DAVID
I should, I suppose, go back to the beginning—to the first time we met. The first time she spoke to me, to be precise, for I had seen her before—spotted her among the first-year faces staring out at me from the lecture hall. It was hard not to notice her, not with that hair. A great glow of it, radiantly blond in long loose curls like a soft release of breath. In the dimness of Theater L, it caught the light and reflected it back, golden and iridescent. I noticed the hair and the bright moon-shaped face beneath, and I thought: new penny. Then my mind turned back to my slides.
There is an energy on campus during those first weeks of the new semester that is like nothing else. The air is charged with the frisson of possibility. A cheerful busyness takes hold, giving a new life and sheen to every faded surface, every jaded room. Even the most hardened staff veterans have a spring in their step for that first month, and there is a sense of hopefulness that’s infectious. Once the madness of Freshers’ Week has worn off, and the pace of lectures and tutorials has been set, a briskness falls onto campus like a flurry of autumnal leaves. It zips through the corridors and stairwells, hurries across the wide-open spaces where the students gather to talk and drink coffee. I felt it too—the beat of possibility, the urge to get a head start on the year. After seventeen years working at this university, I was still not immune to the buoyant lift of first-term energy.
It was a couple of weeks into the semester when she approached me. I had just given my Thursday morning lecture on modern Irish history and the students were filing out from behind their desks, a buzz of conversation rising as they climbed the steps to the exit. I was closing my laptop and putting away my notes, silently calculating whether I had enough time to go to the common room for a coffee, when I felt someone’s presence and looked up. She was standing across from me, holding her folder against her chest, her face half hidden behind the long golden strands of her hair.
Dr. Connolly,
she said, and immediately I caught the hint of a Belfast accent.
Yes?
I was wondering if I could talk to you?
I slid the laptop into my bag, fixed the strap over my shoulder, and noticed a kind of wariness hovering behind the big round eyes. She was fair-skinned and had a scrubbed-clean look about her unlike so many of the female students who come to class layered in makeup, a miasma of chemical smells surrounding them. This girl was different—there was a freshness and a simplicity to her appearance that set her apart and made her appear terribly young.
Of course,
I said briskly. I have a meeting in a few minutes, but you can walk with me, if you like.
Oh. No, that’s okay.
Disappointment, a faltering expression that piqued my interest.
Perhaps some other time,
she said.
My office hours are on Fridays between three and five. You’re welcome to drop in. If that doesn’t suit, you can always e-mail to arrange an appointment.
Thank you,
she said politely. I’ll do that.
We walked together up the steps to the exit, not speaking, an awkwardness between us.
Well, good-bye then,
I said, checking my watch and ducking into the drift of students heading toward the stairs.
By the time I reached my meeting, I had forgotten her. Funny, recalling it now. Such a momentous thing, our first meeting. Since then, I’ve come to look at that moment as the point in which my life split—like a page folded over and creased down the middle so everything fell into before or after.
My office is on the third floor of the Arts Block. It’s covered with book-filled shelves and framed prints: the 1916 Proclamation, prints of two William Orpen sketches from the trenches in World War I, a framed and faded photograph of my grandfather with others from the Royal Dragoon Guards, and finally a cartoon from the New Yorker featuring two academics squabbling—the last, a gift from my wife. There’s also a family photograph of the four of us hiking the Hell Fire Club in the Dublin Mountains that I had taken with my phone last summer: Holly’s hair is wind-tossed, Robbie is grinning, and Caroline’s eyes are watering—we look happy, individually and as a family, my arms circling us all in a messy embrace, the city and suburbs, this campus and office, a distant blur in the background.
The closest thing I can see of that outside world and the most appealing feature of the office is the window that takes up the entire southern wall and looks out onto the courtyard at the heart of the building. A small copse of birch trees grows there, and throughout the year I like to look out onto the changing colors of the leaves and watch the passage of the seasons.
I’ve spent my entire adult life—apart from three years working for my PhD at Queen’s University, Belfast—on this campus. I’ve loved every minute of it and I considered myself lucky to be here, gradually moving up the ranks from adjunct to associate professor, and I love the interaction with students at lecture and seminar level. I love the curious and inquisitive minds I meet, the irascible and sometimes irreverent arrogance of the students’ interrogations of the past. I’ll admit I was ambitious, and I’ve had to work hard. It’s not like things came easy for me, not like others who seem to have a natural flair for reading the past. My work was painstaking, but it brought its pleasures.
Even so, she arrived at a special moment of opportunity in my career. My old teacher and the head of our department, Professor Alan Longley, was due for retirement in two years’ time. He had hinted strongly on more than one occasion that his position could be mine—if I played my cards right, so to speak. Of course, head of department would mean more work, but I was ready for the extra responsibility and willing to accept the challenge. Such was my life: the happy construction of work I had built around me, until last autumn, that is.
Back then, during those weeks in September, as the light changed and the air took on the first chill, I knew next to nothing about her. Not even her name. I don’t think I thought about her again until that Friday afternoon when I held my student hours. The first of them began trickling in shortly after three—a second-year student wanting to discuss his essay, a final-year student already nervous about the prospects of graduation, another considering a master’s. One by one they came, and I found I began to search for her among them, each time expecting to see her bright moon-shaped face appearing around my door.
In my office, there is a low coffee table and two small armchairs I brought from home and this is where I conducted my meetings with students. I don’t like the power imbalance when I sit and stare at them from behind the desk. I kept the door open throughout these meetings, with both male and female students alike. You see, years ago, when I was a junior lecturer, a colleague was badly stung by an accusation from a female undergrad who claimed he had molested her in his office. I remember at the time being shocked; he was such a weedy guy with an unattractive habit of sniffing continuously while concentrating on a point. Strange though it may sound, I couldn’t imagine him having any sexual desires. Most academics are normal people, leading their lives in the manner of any professional person. Some, however, are cloistered, ill-equipped to cope beyond the protective confines of the university. That was Bill, a hardworking historian, but naive, it has to be said. Not an unkind man, and quite gentle really, and the accusation hit him like a rocket. Overnight, he became this wild-eyed loon, determined to proclaim his innocence, often at the most inopportune moments—in school meetings, in the staff room over coffee, once at an Open Day. The claims were investigated by the disciplinary board and deemed to be unfounded. Bill was exonerated. The student graduated and left. Bill continued with his work, but a change had come over him. He no longer came for coffee with the rest of us, and he avoided all social interaction with students. It was no surprise when, a year later, he announced he had taken up a position at a university abroad. I’ve no idea where he is now, though I think of him from time to time, whenever some other scandal erupts on campus or when I feel the weight of some female student’s gaze a little too heavily upon me.
Something about the way she had looked at me that day, the way her voice had faltered, made me think of Bill. I was curious, but wary too. The doe-eyed ones, the ones who look young and innocent, they are the ones you have to be careful of. Not the savvy girls with their Ugg boots and fake tan—they can hold their own and have little interest in pursuing a man like me. I’m forty-four years old, the father of two children. I eat well and I exercise regularly. Most days I cycle to work, three times a week I swim. I try to take care of myself, you could say. Now, I’m not the best-looking man in the world, but I’m not the worst. I’m just shy of six feet with dark hair, brown eyes, and sallow skin. My dad said we had Spanish blood flowing through our veins: From the sailors on the Armada, shipwrecked off the West of Ireland all those years ago.
I don’t know if that’s true or not. But after what happened to Bill, I have to presume it’s not beyond the realm of possibility that an impressionable young student might develop a crush. But I’ve been married seventeen years, and I was aware how costly a stupid mistake could be. Besides, I had too much to lose.
I suppose that’s what flickered across my mind the first time we spoke. Her reluctance to walk and talk with me—as if the weight of whatever she wanted to discuss required privacy, silence, the full focus of my attention.
That Friday, I fully expected her to come to my office. She didn’t. I have to admit I was disappointed. There was no explanation—not that I needed or expected one. Nor was there an e-mail seeking an appointment. The following week, I did see her again in my lectures, her eyes fixed on the notebook in front of her, but when the hour was up, she filed out of the theater with the other students.
The matter went clean out of my head, and would, I’m sure, have been forgotten about in time. I was busier than ever, juggling my lectures and research along with various other work commitments, not to mention all the administration I had to do. I would also be talking to various media outlets about the 1916 centenary celebrations in the coming months. Caroline had started a new job. Between us we shared the school drop-offs as well as the kids’ after-school activities. Life was full. I was busier than ever. I was happy. I know that now.
Then, one afternoon, in October, returning to my office from a school meeting, I found her sitting on the floor next to my door. Knees drawn up, hands clutching her ankles. As soon as she saw me, she got to her feet and pulled at her clothing.
Can I help you?
I asked, my hand searching in my pocket for the key.
Sorry. I should have made an appointment.
You’re here now.
I opened the door. Come in.
I went to my desk, placed my bag on it. The room was chilly. I walked to the radiator and ran my fingers along its top. The girl went to close the door.
No, you can leave it open,
I said.
She gave me a slightly startled glance like she wished she’d never come.
Let’s sit, and you can tell me what’s on your mind.
I took one of the armchairs, but she just stood fiddling with the zipper on her sweater. She was small and thin, bony wrists emerging from the cuffs of her sleeves, which had been picked and unraveled. Nervous fingers constantly moving.
What’s your name?
Zoe,
she said quietly. Zoe Harte.
Well, Zoe. How can I help you?
I asked while tidying a bunch of journals at my desk.
Her hands became still and in a voice that came out clear as a bell, she said, I think you might be my father.
CHAPTER 2
DAVID
Students come through my door every day of the workweek. Some of them have ordinary questions, course-related queries. Others are in trouble. They want your help. They may not even know what’s wrong. And then again others are trouble. Over the years, I have had my fair share of problem cases. They have ranged from benign to complex. But none of them was like this. None of them spelled trouble so clearly and lucidly, or announced the problem with such a candid, if sheepish, clarity.
I don’t understand,
I said.
Can I close the door?
No, I don’t think that’s a good idea.
I gestured for her to sit down in the chair opposite.
I know it’s probably a shock,
she said, taking a seat and putting her bag down by her feet.
A shock?
I said. More of an intrusion, or a preposterous allegation, than anything else. I inspected my itinerary for the day. It was full: one meeting followed by another. The module review committee was going to be particularly taxing. I also needed to get to the library to talk to Laurence about the oral histories he was sourcing for me from the British Library.
Well, yes … I’ve come in here out of the blue and revealed to you that I am your daughter.
Sorry, I’m still struggling to follow. Why is it you think I might be your father?
I said.
Her expression didn’t change. Shy, meek even, as if she were here against her will. I’ve been thinking about how to put it so it wouldn’t come out as bluntly,
she said, leaning forward slightly. It doesn’t seem to matter which way I turn the phrases over. You are my father,
she coughed awkwardly into her sleeve. I thought it would be better to tell it to you straight rather than dancing around it, if that makes sense?
The planes of her face were smooth. It was an open face, an honest one. Her eyes were green, wide and clear. Her hair fell over her face occasionally and she had to push it back every so often—a kind of tic, I supposed.
Actually, it’s a relief to tell you,
she said, giving me a watery smile. You’ve no idea. I’ve tossed this around for ages: sitting in your lectures, knowing all the time you’re my father and that you had no idea. It got so I couldn’t bear it. I felt like I had to tell you.
Her voice, though tentative and soft, had the earthy guttural of the North in it—and because of all the reading and research I was doing recently, I thought about those American soldiers during World War II stationed in the various towns of Northern Ireland—Coleraine, Ballycastle, Portstewart—and their unwritten legacy: the ones who left behind sons and daughters they may never have known about, while others were sought out later in life by their offspring. I had always thought this a joyful, if complicated, legacy—an ancillary tributary to the river of the past—an enriching one even.
Still, I became annoyed at the vagaries of my own mind and the distraction the girl had brought about to my day: her prank, the articulations of an unsound mind—whatever it was.
I took my notebook into my hands, drew myself up from the chair, and walked to my desk. I felt the short fuse of my temper fizzle.
Again, what makes you think that I’m your father?
The smile fell from her face. She reached into her bag for a tissue. I could tell she was struggling to maintain her composure. Perhaps I had been too curt. I had after all a duty of care to her as a student. She was young, lost; it must have been very difficult for her to pluck up the courage, however misguided it was, to come in to talk to me.
Listen,
I said, you’re clearly upset. And believe me, it’s not the first time I’ve had a student here in tears. University life can be daunting. People struggle. But there is help out there if you ask for it. Let me give you the number of someone in student services who can help.
I went behind my desk and wrote the number on a Post-it. Claire O’Rourke, a counselor on campus, was an old friend. As I wrote out her number, I wondered briefly what Claire would make of the girl’s claims.
Ripping the page off the pad, I went to hand it to her but she didn’t reach out for the note, she didn’t look at it at all.
I returned to my desk.
If you don’t want the number, that’s your call,
I said. The situation had grown tiresome. I had work to do. I’m trying to offer you help, but I can’t force you to take it.
I tapped the space bar on my keyboard, stirring the computer to life. The monitor brightened and the image of Robbie and Holly dissolved before me.
My mother’s name was Linda,
the girl said. My hand released its hold of the mouse. Linda Barry,
she added.
Linda Barry? Hearing her name seemed to prod an unhealed wound inside my unconscious mind. I felt like I was dreaming or as if time was playing tricks. My mouth dried up a little.
Linda Barry?
Just like that I was transported to another time, another place, as if her name were a password to the past—to my past, to a younger, more feckless, and passionate young man and to the time that went with it. The password took me to pain too. I felt winded, and all at once on guard.
I looked at the girl for any signs of resemblance. The figure of another student appeared in the doorway.
Dr. Connolly?
Not now,
I said testily. I’m in the middle of something,
I switched off the monitor. Come back later…
A little over a year ago, she told me about you,
the girl said, her voice barely a whisper.
She told you about me?
She thought I needed to know,
the girl said, pulling at the strands of her sleeve.
I could tell she was waiting for me to say something while the possibility of what she revealed began to ghost its way through my mind.
She told me when she was a student at Queen’s University, you were her course tutor,
she said. She told me how you had become friends, and how, for a while, you were lovers.
It felt wrong—listening to a student discussing me and Linda, describing us as lovers. Could it be true? Did Linda have a child?
I thought about that weekend we spent in Donegal before we split up. Three days in a remote part of the countryside. It had felt like I was shrugging off my previous life: the years of study, the immersion in academia receding from memory, like waking from a long dream. Beneath the surface, there had lingered the knowledge of a parting. Soon, I would be returning to Dublin to take up a position in the university from which I had graduated three years before. The life I had lived in Belfast, at Queen’s University, would draw to a close. And this relationship, this love affair—I had no idea how much it meant to me—it too would be put to rest. We both knew it, although neither one of us had said so.
The girl held a hand to her lips and I saw there in the rounded shape of her face a resemblance. A simplicity that could have been plain were it not for the liveliness of her eyes—Linda’s eyes, or were they? I couldn’t be completely sure.
I don’t see how…
I began.
She said your affair was brief. Afterward, she went abroad to do a master’s degree. That’s when she discovered she was pregnant.
I had, by then, completed my PhD and returned to Dublin. I had met Caroline again and our relationship—broken for those three years in Belfast—had resumed. After Linda, after the swirling highs and lows, I felt ready for something solid, stable, and dependable. But she never told me.
What a relief it had been to climb into marriage, to feel the solid structure of it form around me. But with this girl in my office, I was again at sea. The roar of waves in my ears drowning out much of what she was telling me. I kept thinking of Linda with a baby, my baby. How could she not have told me? How could she have gone through all of that alone?
This must be difficult,
she said, regaining her composure. It’s got to be a lot to take in.
With a slim frame, all wrists and knees, jeans clinging to thin legs, heavy oxblood-red boots, there was something vulnerable about her: even if she had just lobbed her little grenade and set me reeling.
Yes, you could say that.
I know,
she said, an uneasy smile spreading across her face. But you have to know that I don’t want anything from you.
You don’t?
Nothing!
she said, laughing nervously. It’s just I thought you should know.
And that’s all? There’s nothing else?
I asked.
She started to pick again at her frayed cuffs.
Just to talk, I suppose.
To talk?
She squirmed, grew sullen. The shield of hair had fallen over her face again. She made no effort to push it back. Quietly, from behind it, she said:
I just wanted to get to know you a little.
It was a reasonable request, I supposed.
Did Linda put you up to this?
I asked. Does she know you’ve come to see me?
In retrospect, I see how foolish I was—how ridiculous I must have sounded—to think an old girlfriend had spent the last eighteen years hatching a plan to bring about my undoing.
My mother’s dead.
Dead? Said so matter-of-factly. The first time I kissed Linda it was because she had dared me to. Go on,
she had said as I walked her home from an evening guest lecture. You know you want to.
I had played dumb, but all the time, I was stepping closer to her, and she was stepping closer to me, until her hands gripped the pockets of my coat and my hands found their way to her waist. It was not a lingering kiss. She had pulled away, and I had felt I had been on the brink of making a terrible mistake, though unsure whether the mistake was to follow her or to let her slip away.
How strange and unreal it is to hear of an old lover who has passed away. To think the time you shared is no longer a common memory between you, no longer a testimony subject to agreement and dissent, no longer a space of contested but cherished moments—like the rising smoke from a bonfire on a Halloween night in Belfast. Gone—like the fading autumn light at sunset. Such a death is like a sudden pull in the heart, a brief awakening, and the realization that the lost lover’s life had continued all that time you were apart.
I’m so sorry,
I said to the girl. What happened?
Ovarian cancer. It’s just coming up to a year.
Now this timing made some sort of sense: a young woman whose mother has recently died seeks some kind of replacement to make up for the loss. It’s possible. Psychologists might call it transference, and stranger things have been known to happen, certainly, on this campus. But I was curious.
And when did Linda tell you about me?
I asked.
She pushed back her hair:
It was toward the end.
Is that why you came to this university?
She blushed, squirmed in her chair.
I dunno. Maybe. I’ve always liked history, and with Mam gone, I just wanted to get away, you know? Start over somewhere new.
Whatever about the truth of her claim, I couldn’t help but admire her a little, the curious tilt of her chin, the bravery in her optimism.
A sudden rap on the open door startled her. She stood up quickly. Another student appeared in the doorway.
Dr. Connolly.
Just a moment,
I said.
The girl was already fixing the strap of her satchel over one shoulder. I should go,
she said.
Awkwardly, beneath the gaze of the other student, we said good-bye to each other. I turned back into the room, went to the window, and waited for the young man to sit. Below in the courtyard, staff and students sat at tables among the birch trees; the noise of their conversation rose into a barely audible hum. Shadows moved overhead, the day darkened. The student behind me cleared his throat.
Would you mind waiting?
I said, making for the door. I’ll just be a moment.
She was at the stairwell by the time I caught up. Hair falling over her shoulders, strolling away. I called to her and she turned. A door opened and a flurry of students came streaming out, passing us in a noisy group.
I wanted to ask you,
I said, have you told anyone else? Any of your friends? Anyone in the class?
No,
she said.
Can I ask that you don’t? Please. Not yet, not until I’ve had some time to take this all in.
Don’t worry,
she said, her voice flat and unreadable. In her eyes, there was a flash of pity. I felt a nudge of something too: shame perhaps. However foolish, I still believed I could contain whatever it was that had been released.
I won’t say a thing,
she said slipping into the stream of students passing, leaving me there, sweat on my palms, holding on to the rail, conscious that I was about to be swept up by something beyond my control.
CHAPTER 3
CAROLINE
I can remember when it began.
One afternoon in early autumn, I had been called away from the office unexpectedly because of David’s mother, Ellen. There had been an incident.
I was just settling her with her tea tray and the TV on, when my cellphone rang, David’s number appearing on the screen.
Caroline?
I was just going to call you.
Why?
he asked. Has something happened?
Something in his voice: a scratch of irritation or a wrinkle of concern.
Who is it?
Ellen asked, her voice quavering with nerves.
It’s David.
I turned up the volume of the TV, then pulled the door closed gently behind me.
In the hallway, I sat down on the stairs and felt the carpet rough at the back of my legs, a musty smell rising from it.
Your mum,
I told him. She went wandering again.
Oh Christ.
She’s fine—
What happened?
I told him about the phone call I’d received. Ellen’s neighbor, Marion, had phoned, sounding breathy and rushed: You told me to call if ever something happened. I listened as she told me how she had found Ellen in Tesco crying in the Frozen Food section, not knowing where she was or how she would get home. It was not the first such