Violet
By Scott Thomas
3.5/5
()
About this ebook
Three decades later, loss returns—her husband killed in a car accident. And so, Kris goes home to the place where she first knew pain—to that summer house overlooking the crystal waters of Lost Lake. It’s there that Kris and her eight-year-old daughter will make a stand against grief.
But a shadow has fallen over the quiet lake town of Pacington, Kansas. Beneath its surface, an evil has grown—and inside that home where Kris Barlow last saw her mother, an old friend awaits her return.
Scott Thomas
Scott Thomas created the Gospel Coach Training and Certification system and has coached hundreds of pastors. Scott has served as president and network director of Acts 29 Network and as an elder at Mars Hill Church. Scott has a Masters in Missional Leadership and has been married for thirty years to Jeannie, with whom he has two sons. He planted and replanted churches for sixteen years as a lead pastor. Scott has taught for Resurgence Training Center in Seattle and is a conference speaker in the US as well as a consultant for both Western European church planting and Canadian church planting. Scott wrote Theological Clarity and Application (Zondervan, 2010) and has written blogs for Acts 29 Network, The Resurgence, Mars Hill Church and ChurchPlanting.com.
Read more from Scott Thomas
Kill Creek Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Gospel Coach: Shepherding Leaders to Glorify God Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The Making of the Potterverse: A Month-by-Month Look at Harry's First 10 Years Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Listen 'n' Learn Spanish with Your Favorite Movies Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Big Red Book of Spanish Vocabulary: 30,000 Words through Cognates, Roots, and Suffixes Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
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Reviews for Violet
28 ratings2 reviews
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Many years ago Kris lost her mother to cancer while at their family lake house. Yet she remembers the lake house as a place of comfort. It is for that reason that she packs up her daughter Sadie and heads out to this long abandoned home in hopes of helping Sadie recover from the recent loss of her father. Time may have colored Kris's memories because they are far more cloudy than the waters of the crystal clear lake.
I picked up this book not only because of the description but because I loved the author's previous work "Kill Creek." After reading Violet I can now say that Scott Thomas is on my list of must read authors. Violet took me to a place of great emotional turmoil. It is a story of love and loss, and much of the first half focuses on the way our own minds try to deal with traumatic events. Gradually this story moves from unnerving to frightening as Kris Barlow remembers her past through her daughter's eyes. There is something at the lake house that Kris has forgotten, but it remembers her, and has been waiting for her return.
5 out of 5 stars
I received an advance copy for review. - Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/53.5/5 Stars!
VIOLET is the second major release from Scott Thomas. The first being KILL CREEK, which I adored. I liked this book as well, but not quite as much.
Kris Barlow and her daughter Sadie have recently suffered a tragedy that will change their lives forever. Sadie has now gone from a lively young girl to a quiet withdrawn one. In an effort to take their minds off things, Kris decides that they will spend their summer at a cabin on Lost Lake where she used to go as a child with her parents. They discover the home in a serious state of disrepair which keeps them busy for a while and Kris begins to see positive changes in Sadie's behavior. When they go into town, though, they get strange looks; one townie even tells Kris she needs to keep a close eye on her daughter in this town. Not long after that, back at the cabin Kris hears Sadie talking and giggling and thinks she is finally on the road to recovery. But is she really? Will they get the emotional healing they were seeking? Why were the townsfolk acting so strangely? You'll have to read VIOLET to find out!
I love a slow burning story, (see my reviews of Straub's GHOST STORY and/or Thomas Tryon's HARVEST HOME), and this one does start off slowly-but I was all hey, no worries, it's cool. But about 100 pages later I wasn't finding it so cool. Don't get me wrong, time was spent describing the town and its residents, (fine) the complicated goings on within the Barlow family, (fine), but the incredibly detailed sanding of the deck and the cleaning of rooms? Not so much.
If I set that aside and just focus on the family mysteries and how they unfurled, I feel more satisfied. Mr. Thomas had me intrigued with the story, which is why I kept going, but even in that area, I felt like it took too long for anything of substance to happen. Lots of teasers and a little foreshadowing will only hold me for so long. When the action did start though, I was glued and I dug the denouement in a BIG WAY(!), I just felt like it took too long to get there and It pains me to say it.
One thing that worked for me on all levels is the music featured. (Kris finds an old mix tape and plays it almost continuously when working on or in the cabin). For me, even when the music wasn't mentioned, I was still hearing it in my mind, playing behind the scenes I was witnessing. I thought that was done deftly and I appreciate the skill required for it to blend in the way it did.
I seem to be in the minority on this book as most of my reviewing clan seem to have loved it. All I can say is, please remember this is just my opinion, and if you were thinking of giving VIOLET a try, please do! I probably just read it wrong. I DO recommend this book, in spite of the things I've mentioned, but I was hoping so hard to LOVE it, and it just didn't happen.
Recommended!
*Thank you to Inkshares and to NetGalley for the e-ARC of this book in exchange for my honest feedback. This is it.*
Book preview
Violet - Scott Thomas
PROLOGUE
UNDER THE RIVER
SHE KNEW ALMOST nothing about the history of the town.
She did not know that once upon a time, the town was not a town at all but a wound in the gypsum hills overrun by Johnsongrass, musk thistle, and milkweed. In those days, the Verdigris River slithered like a brown, muddy snake through the lowlands, the curve of its back brushing up against the towering stalks of thick weeds. The Kiowa called this place p’oiye tsape t’on, meaning hidden water,
because not a glint of sunlight on the surface of the river could be seen from the steep ridges overlooking the area. There was no reason to go down into the impenetrable brush. There were no animals worth hunting there, no vegetation worth picking.
The town itself seemed to appear out of nowhere, a collection of small, one-room structures along a dirt road etched into the wild countryside. At one end of the basin, the gypsum hills parted like stone curtains, just enough to allow the road to enter. At the other end, the dirt path hugged closer to the river, following its curve around the bluffs. And then, suddenly, the path shot straight north as if startled out of the odd valleys, back into the vast Kansas prairie.
She did not know that the town’s name, Pacington, was nothing more than a bastardization of the original words. But many had forgotten its origin. By the time the first shop owners opened their doors along Center Street, the Native Americans living in Southeast Kansas had long ago been relocated
to Oklahoma. As more and more white settlers found their way between the river basin, fewer bothered to consider the people who had lived there before them. The untamed tangles of brush and vine along this section of the Verdigris belonged to the town of Pacington.
She vaguely remembered the stories her father told her about the day the Army Corps of Engineers began construction on a reservoir just outside of town. Their intention was to control flooding to the farmland along the river, but on the second day, workers broke through into a chasm hidden beneath the river floor, unleashing a body of water buried eons ago by the shifting earth. It swirled up through the lazy current of the Verdigris and pushed its edges deep into the surrounding forest. In a matter of minutes, the river became a lake, the fleeing water moving too quickly for man or machine to escape. Two workers lost their lives that day. They were swept down into an ancient abyss, the depth of which easily swallowed fifty feet of a toppled crane. The equipment was recovered, but the bodies were not. Some said they just kept drifting down, down, deeper into the dark, endless waters of that underground lake, forever falling into the earth.
Those unlucky enough to own property along Lower Basin Road were paid a reasonable sum by the government. The peak of one roof breaking the water’s surface was all that was left to remind them of what they had lost. A new site farther south, near the town of Oologah, Oklahoma, was chosen for the intended reservoir, and so the Army Corps of Engineers left behind an accidental body of water and more than a little of their pride.
In a single day, Pacington was transformed from a river town to a lake town. For a while, the government’s blunder appeared to be a blessing in disguise. The water in what became known as Lost Lake
was remarkably clear, a sliver of glass nestled between the red gypsum hills. The cool blue oasis was a summer destination for locals desperate to escape the sweltering heat of Southeast Kansas and Northeast Oklahoma. Pacington was a refuge.
The contrast between the pristine appearance of the lake and the brownish-green waters of the Verdigris River that fed into and from it were striking. The explanation was fairly mundane: the floor of the lake was essentially a crater in the earth, composed of the lighter solid granite than existed beneath the muddy bed of the rest of the Verdigris. That did not stop some from viewing Lost Lake as a natural—or in some cases, supernatural—wonder.
She had first glimpsed the sparkling ripples playing across the lake’s surface when she was four years old. That was in 1982, and the town had been a quaint lakeside resort for over two decades. That was the Pacington she remembered. That was the place where mornings were for sleeping in late, where afternoons were filled with hiking and fishing and rowing, where evenings were painted pink by brilliant sunsets above the hills as her father grilled largemouth bass over a smoldering mound of charcoal. She could smell the life of the forest on the air and stare into an infinite field of diamond-like stars at night. She could imagine anything in the Pacington of her memories, for it was a land where lakes could spring from the ground without warning. It was a place of creation.
Yet there was much she did not know. She did not know that, in this place of beauty, something dark and malicious was mutating beneath her mother’s sun-kissed skin. She did not know that her parents had been aware of it since she was three, or that it was the reason her father had bought the summerhouse on the shore of Lost Lake. She did not know that every summer, her mother was getting sicker, that every day they spent was not the beginning of their life together but the end. She did not know that, after she went to bed, her parents cried and held each other, that they tiptoed out of the lake house one night to make love on the shore.
She did not know of the unspeakable things that came after she left—the shadow that fell over Pacington, the pain and fear that twisted through the town like a barbed, poisonous vine.
Perhaps it was for the best. Sometimes it is easier to not know. Life is happier lived in ignorance.
But that does not mean the unspeakable things are not there. They are simply hidden, like water beneath the ground, searching for a way to flow into the light.
CHAPTER ONE
THE ROAD SLICED a gray line through the black night. Beyond the beams of her headlights, the land was at the mercy of the moonlight. She imagined the road ending without warning, driving over the edge, plummeting into an infinite nothingness, until her screams became a song for the darkness.
It was silly to think such things, but the threads of her life, the loose pieces she had tried for so long to keep in place, had finally unraveled. And so she drove, her eyes on the farthest edge of the headlights’ reach, staring at that line where vision failed and the world became shadow.
Kris Barlow glanced at herself in the rearview mirror and saw a stranger staring back at her. The soft glow of the dashboard deepened the hint of crow’s feet that stretched from the corners of her eyes. Her porcelain skin attempted to peek through large clusters of freckles. She wished her mother had forced her to wear sunscreen when she was little, as Kris did religiously with her own daughter. But that was a different time, before words like SPF
and reapply
were drilled into the vocabulary of children. She recalled the odd satisfaction of slowly peeling away thin layers of dead, translucent skin, trying to keep a large section intact. Once, she managed to remove a patch as large as the palm of her hand. She placed it carefully over her right cheek and admired herself in the bathroom mirror, feeling like a lizard as the edges of the old pulled back to reveal the new.
Kris stared at her face in the rearview mirror. When had she become this person? If the measure of her lifespan were her father, who passed away at eighty-two, then she had officially reached the midpoint. If it were her mother, Kris was knock-knock-knockin’ on heaven’s door.
In the back seat, something shifted.
Kris adjusted the rearview mirror until she could see the pale form of Sadie leaning against the side window. The seat belt held her upright, her head hanging limply, chin against her chest. Spirals of red hair twisted down around her sleeping eyes. An iPad and a notebook lay on the seat next to her, both untouched since they’d hit the road.
That was me, a thousand years ago. Kris could still picture her father driving, his hands obediently at ten and two, and her mother reading by the soft glow of a penlight.
Back then, they’d always waited until her father was done with work before hitting the road. It was less than a two-hour drive, so leaving their home in Blantonville at seven or eight in the evening did not seem like such a big deal. They would hear his key in the lock, and Krissy would leap up from the beanbag chair in front of the living room television and race to throw her arms around his waist. It was Daddy, still in his work clothes, the perfect pleats of his slacks, the smooth brown leather of his belt, the stiff, starched shirt and wide, striped tie. As a child, Kris grappled to understand exactly what her father did for a living.
I sell insurance,
he had told her on more than one occasion. It’s like the promise that someone will be there if things go wrong.
Now she knew the truth. Insurance meant hours of phone calls and stacks of paperwork. It meant dealing with a company that searched for any conceivable loophole to get out of paying what they had promised. It meant waiting months, sometimes even years, before the check arrived, if it ever did.
Kris knew the people who were there in an instant when things went wrong, and the insurance company was not one of them.
Not that she had wanted anyone there. Not the neighbors who arrived on her doorstep with still-warm casserole dishes in their hands, as if potatoes covered in cheese and corn flakes could resurrect a loved one. Not the parents from Sadie’s school, who secretly hoped for the destruction of others’ happiness to prove that their own miserable existences were not as bad as they feared. Not the relatives who’d never thought she was good enough in the first place, the ones who’d placed him on that pedestal and convinced her that she had to rise up to his level.
They had not seen what she had seen. None of them were there when the police called in the middle of the night. They did not know the ice-cold panic of realizing your entire life had just been shattered into a million jagged pieces by the ring of a cell phone.
She knew. She knew the uncanny artificiality as she arrived at the Lake County Coroner’s Office in downtown Black Ridge, Colorado. The reception area could have been the front desk of any small-town motel. A fake plastic plant, its warped green leaves covered in dust, stood in the corner beside an oddly placed wooden chair, white stuffing peeking out at the seat cushion’s edge. A random collection of fashion and outdoor magazines lay spread across a glass coffee table, as if anyone there to identify a body would want to first flip through a six-month-old issue of Guns & Ammo. The beige walls of the room did not appear to have been painted that color; rather, the original white had curdled over the years, aged by the medicinal stench of embalming chemicals and the dread of those who walked through the front door.
This is a waiting room, she thought. This is purgatory.
No one had been there to greet her. Not the officer who had woken her at three in the morning, when Jonah should have been home, snoring beside her. Not whoever had left the front door unlocked in anticipation of her arrival. She was welcomed only by the soft rattle of a loose air-conditioning vent and the noxious aroma of chemicals and raw meat seeping in from another room.
Kris blinked, and the highway was once again before her.
She could hear the steady hum of tires skimming across asphalt, hundreds of miles of rough, uneven surface peeling tiny bits of rubber away like sunburned skin.
She knew there was no use searching the radio for music. On the open prairie, closer to dawn than dusk, she would find only static and the rabid shouts of a fire-and-brimstone preacher.
Reaching to the center console, she felt for the charging cord leading to her cell phone. For a moment, her thumb traced the edges of the home button as she considered opening Spotify or Audible, anything to fill the silence.
Behind her, Sadie whimpered softly.
Kris took her eyes off the road just long enough to glance over her shoulder. Sadie had shifted, but her eyes were still closed, head slumped, her curly red hair draped over her face.
Kris let the phone slip from her hand.
Don’t wake her. Let her sleep. We’ll be there in a few hours.
Far off in the distance, she could barely see the headlights of an approaching car, two pinpricks hovering like the eyes of an animal stalking through the night.
A raccoon.
Or a fox.
Fox.
That had been his name.
Howard Fox.
She had seen the name before she saw the man. It was printed in a large, sweeping script at the center of a very official-looking certificate adorned with a gold-leaf stamp and a thick, shimmery blue border:
THE COLORADO CORONER-MEDICAL EXAMINER ASSOCIATION HEREBY CERTIFIES THAT
HOWARD FOX
HAS COMPLETED THE REQUIRED CURRICULUM FOR DEATH INVESTIGATION
The term had plucked a sour chord from her already frayed nerves.
Death Investigation.
The sudden opening of a door had startled her, and she had felt her entire body stiffen.
Like the bodies that were growing ever more rigid in the back room.
Like Jonah’s body.
A plain, slightly doughy man wearing round, wire-rimmed glasses was standing in the doorway. His mouth was frozen in the habitual hint of a compassionate smile, the exact same expression he offered every confused, distraught visitor who stumbled through the front entrance.
I’m so sorry,
Howard Fox said. His voice had a strange, thin quality to it, as if he were constantly fighting a sneeze. I didn’t expect you so quickly. I thought you were coming from farther away or I would have been here to greet you.
I live—
Kris’s words caught in her throat. She swallowed and tried again. I live in town. I’ve seen this place before, but I’ve never been inside …
No reason for you to,
Howard replied, his brow furrowing in a robotic attempt to convey sympathy. Please, follow me. If you’re ready.
He did not wait for confirmation before turning and disappearing through the open doorway. Perhaps he knew that if he left the decision to Kris, she would freeze in place, her muscles refusing every command to keep her from entering that room.
From seeing Jonah.
No, not Jonah. The thing that had been Jonah. The mangled shell he had left behind.
Instead, she took a step without realizing it. And then another. And another.
A waft of frigid air greeted her, and she shivered, her entire body prickling with gooseflesh.
Howard waited off to her left until Kris was well into the room, then he swung the door shut behind her. The door latched into place with a dull thud that echoed softly off the surfaces of the hard, cold room. This place was not for the living. It was a place of dissection, of splitting rib cages and weighing organs like lettuce at the supermarket.
Metal shelves were crowded with plastic bottles full of instruments soaking in neon blue and yellow liquids. Several cabinets made from sleek stainless steel lined the other walls. A massive LED spotlight stretched down from the ceiling on a hinged arm like the staring, cyclopean eye of an alien creature, projecting a cone of bright, pristine light onto the black plastic sheet that rose into a vaguely human shape.
I know this is a very difficult thing to do,
Howard said from just over her shoulder.
Kris flinched. She had forgotten he was in the room with her.
Take all the time you need—
I want to see him,
Kris said, cutting him off.
Are you sure?
I don’t want to think about it. I just want to do it.
Howard nodded. Right. Of course.
The rubber soles of Howard’s bright white Nike sneakers squeaked on the equally pristine tile floor as he crossed to the gurney. He grasped the top of the plastic sheet with both hands. Kris could see the hairs on his knuckles blowing like cattails in an invisible breeze from the overhead AC vent. Nearby, an exhaust van whirred as it sucked the air from the room and into what must have been the brightening purple sky of approaching dawn.
But Kris had no way of knowing anything about the outside world, about anything outside of that cold, sterile room.
Howard pulled back the sheet. He took a wide step to the side and clasped his hands in front of him.
Whenever you’re ready,
he said.
Kris’s mind tried to stop her. Wait—
But she was already moving, her legs propelling her forward before her brain could override them. Her hip bumped the edge of the gurney. She was there.
At first her mind could not make sense of the shape before her. There were no familiar landmarks to convince her that what she was seeing was a face. Where the cheekbones normally would have protruded, there was a deep valley that ran horizontally over the tip of what should have been his nose. Something had smashed it all in.
The steering wheel.
The airbag never deployed,
Howard said, as if reading her mind. Could probably sue the automobile company, you know, if you …
He let his words drift off, perhaps realizing that it was not the time to speak of litigation.
Below the mashed, indented thing that had once been his nose, Jonah’s lips were closed, and yet Kris could see the top row of his teeth. Her brain stuttered, bare wires crossing, the contradictory images causing a split-second glitch in the system.
And then she realized what she was seeing: the impact had folded Jonah’s top teeth up so that they pointed straight out from his face, and the edges of his incisors had been forced through the skin above his upper lip. He looked as though he were eating his own mouth.
Dark, thick blood traced a line between the side of his face and the surface of the metal gurney. Kris followed this like the red line of a river on a state map—up past a chewed piece of flesh that could be pieced together, with some imagination, to resemble an ear—to the source of the blood: a wet, matted clump of long, brown hair just above his temple.
There were diamonds in his hair, nestled like stones in seaweed. They glistened in the fluorescent light.
No, not diamonds, she knew. Glass.
Shattered pebbles of tempered glass, embedded in his scalp.
The entire right side of his head was completely flat, like a cartoon character hit with a frying pan. The once-sturdy skull was nothing but a patch of bloody sludge. She could press her fingers into that red mud if she wanted to, digging her fingertips all the way into the spongy gray center of his brain.
Jonah had been starting to show his age—his toned body beginning to sag in places, his face puffy from drinking, silver peppering his brown stubble whenever he put off shaving for a week—but she had always been able to look at him and see the man she had fallen in love with all those years ago.
Had loved, Kris thought.
Still loved, another voice insisted. This was hopeful Kris. Naïve Kris.
Hated, a third Kris chimed in. The voice echoed up from the blackest depths of her mind.
She looked down at the swollen, battered face of her dead husband, one eye bashed to a deep purple, sealed shut like a heavyweight boxer in the twelfth round, the other open, staring upward at some profound knowledge revealed only to the dying. Was it love that kept her from instantly glancing away in disgust? Or had her heart flipped a switch to survival mode, the same sensation one feels when slowing down to gawk at a terrible accident on the highway, that sense of morbid relief that washes over as one realizes, Not my time. Not yet. Not yet.
With clenched teeth, Kris leaned closer to Jonah’s tortured corpse. Her right hand began to tremble, and she quickly clamped her left hand around her wrist to steady it, but the sensation was loose, working its way up her arm and across her shoulders. Her entire body shook, each breath a series of sharp, staccato thumps, like a car driving over a bad stretch of road. She forced her lips within inches of that torn, dangling flap of shredded flesh that had been Jonah’s ear.
You asshole,
she whispered as fresh tears slipped down her cheeks. You dumb, selfish son of a bitch. I’ll never forgive you for this. Never.
The sound of an explosion, like a shotgun blast, thrust Kris brutally back into the present.
The Jeep was veering sharply to the left, into the other lane.
Sadie was instantly awake, crying out in desperate confusion, not with words—she hadn’t spoken more than a handful since her daddy died—but with an animalistic howl. The fear in that sound sent a sheet of ice grazing across Kris’s skin.
Instinctively, Kris clamped both hands down on the steering wheel, the toe of her right boot mashing the brake pedal.
The back of the Jeep began to skid.
Sadie’s high-pitched screams mixed with another shriek that, for a second, Kris could not place.
Tires. The shriek of rubber tires trying to grip the asphalt.
She jerked the wheel to the right. The Jeep reentered her lane, but Kris realized immediately that she had overcorrected. The car careened across the lane at a dangerously sharp angle. Beyond the dirt shoulder was a barbed-wire fence marking the border of someone’s farmland.
She was instantly aware of two things—the pale orb of the moon reflected in the glass of the windshield, and the sensation that the Jeep was leaning to the left, that half of the vehicle was struggling to keep up, an animal with a lame leg.
Hold on!
she heard herself yell back to her daughter. Kris turned the wheel to the left, just enough to keep the car from leaving the shoulder and entering the shallow ravine that cut through the weeds beside the fence. At the same time, she let off of the brake, waiting until the Jeep was under control before returning her foot to the pedal.
Brake. Release. Brake. Release. Brake.
They were slowing.
Now there was a new sound, the unmistakable thwump-thwump-thwump of a flat tire trudging over the dry ground.
Kris pressed her boot down hard onto the pedal and the Jeep skidded to a stop. Dust billowed around them. She watched as it wafted into the headlight beams, twin souls escaping into the night.
She glanced over her shoulder at her daughter. Sadie’s eyes were wide in frozen panic. But she was quiet. She did not cry.
She’s trying to be strong. For you.
It’s just a flat tire. Everything’s okay,
Kris assured her There’s a spare in the back. I’ll change the tire. It’s fine, Sadie. We’re fine. I promise.
Kris reached for the door handle. She felt something tug on the back of her shirt.
Sadie was leaning forward in her seat, an arm stretched out to stop her mother.
It’s okay. It won’t take long. I’ll be right outside.
Sadie’s fingers loosened, just enough for Kris to pull the fabric of the shirt from her grasp.
Kris opened the door and stepped out.
A cool wind whipped over the prairie and curled around her body. Kris pulled stray auburn locks from her face and tucked them behind her ear. She looked down at the front tire. The metal rim rested on deflated rubber. A flap of black tread dangled from an open wound near the top of the tire.
Like Jonah’s ear, dangling from the side of his head.
Her legs began to tremble. The tremors worked their way up her torso and into her shoulders. Her body quaked.
She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply through her nose. She could smell the Kansas countryside: the ripe green wheat; the powdery earth of the dirt shoulder; the harsh bite of burned rubber still lingering in the air.
It’s just a flat tire, she reminded herself.
Her body calmed. She opened her eyes again.
The moon had disappeared behind a thick layer of clouds. Even the stars seemed to have retreated into the black sky. The ground below her was gone. She was floating in an abyss.
Kris Barlow stared at the point where the headlights lost their battle with the dark and the night consumed them. She had to believe there was a road in that void beyond the headlight beams. She needed the road to be there.
Because she could not go back.
Not yet.
Not yet.
CHAPTER TWO
THE SOUND OF the car had changed. The chorus of tires now had a soprano, as the spare tire—a compact donut whose tread was half the width of the others—worked double time in its frantic effort to keep up.
Kris glanced down at the speedometer. A sticker affixed to the sidewall of the donut had warned not to push it past fifty miles per hour, but only when the needle was edging closer to seventy did she ease up on the accelerator.
She could feel her destination drawing her forward into the darkness like a magnet.
In her chest, something fluttered, like the tickle of feathers. It was as if the Jeep had suddenly dropped down a steep hill, even though the road before her was as straight and level as the last hundred miles.
It was the same sensation she had felt when she woke two nights before, her body slick with cold sweat.
Filling her mind had been a perfect image of the house. It could not have been more clear if someone had held a photograph before her eyes. Eventually the house faded, her eyelids drooped, and Kris fell back asleep. But even in the morning, she could not shake the residual image, burned like a nuclear shadow into her brain.
The house. Surrounded on both sides by trees. The blue sky reflected in its windows. The shimmer of sunlight on the lake just down the steep slope of the backyard.
It had been a week since they lowered Jonah into the ground. In that week, Sadie had not cried. She had remained silent, choosing instead to communicate through simple nods and shakes of her head.
Kris had cried, alone in her bed at night. She had clamped her hands over her mouth, trying to muffle the sounds, hoping Sadie was fast asleep. First she had cried out of sadness, then anger, then loneliness as she realized this was the rest of her life.
When she had slept, she dreamed of a deep black hole in the earth, of staring into that darkness as if waiting for something to emerge. She knew something was down there. She did not want to be near when it came roaring out of the blackness, and yet she could not look away. She stared into the impenetrable depths, fully aware that the thing down there in the shadows was staring back with wide, unblinking eyes, its lips curled over slick, wet teeth. And then the image of the house had reappeared, and Kris no longer felt like crying. She no longer worried about the thing in the hole in the earth.
The next morning, she had dragged the large, black trash barrel in from the garage and began clearing the refrigerator of the leftovers from Jonah’s wake—trays of hardening cheeses and drying meats, aluminum pans of gelatinous pasta, drawers of wilted lettuce and shriveled carrot and cucumber slices.
She remembered their faces, the family and friends who had stopped by to offer condolences. The pity didn’t bother her; she had expected that. Nor did the morbid curiosity of those who came simply to see how a middle-aged woman dealt with the death of her husband. No, the one thing she had not prepared herself for was the hint of accusation in some of their eyes. She had not thought they would choose sides. And yet a few of them—not many, but enough to convince her it was not coincidence—smiled with narrowed eyes that said, You brought this on yourself. They thought they had accomplished something by judging her, by gloating in the face of her pain.
But they no longer mattered. There was the house, and the house called for her to return. It was an opportunity to heal. It was hope.
School was over by then, and Sadie had missed the last few days of her second-grade year. So when Kris announced that they would be going away for a couple months, her silent little girl simply shrugged. Then Sadie returned to her bedroom, where she buried her face in her pillow, as if hoping that when she opened her eyes, the illusion of happiness she had known since birth would be restored.
This is a good idea, Kris had told herself. The house is exactly what we need.
She waited for the second voice to speak. It always did, especially when she felt conviction. It spoke in that irritatingly unsure tone, as if it felt a sense of purpose in casting doubt. It was only a fleeting moment, and then, just as she had expected, Timid Kris worked a fissure into the peace like water in a stone, splitting it with her favorite word: But.
But … this is her home. She might be better off here, with her friends.
They’ll only remind her. They won’t let her move on, Kris shot back.
In the pitch black, far in the recesses of her mind, something squeaked: a tiny door creaking open, just a crack, enough to let that taunting third voice through. Her shadow voice. From behind that door, Shadow Kris purred, It doesn’t matter where you go. Her daddy’s dead. And what if, God-forbid, something happens to you? What then? Sadie will be alone. All alone. All alone …
Kris squinted as she imagined forcing that little door shut. Even then, she could still hear the soft scratching of nails against its far side and the muffled whisper of the truths she wished were lies.
We’re going, Kris had thought. We have to go.
No sooner had she made this mental declaration than she was overcome by a sense of dread. The house might not be available.
Not long after her mother’s death, Kris’s father had made it available for rent. They had become a family of two, and a trip to the lake for summer vacation no longer held a sense of release. Besides, Dad was spending more and more time in his woodworking shop behind the garage, and Kris was often out with her friends, riding bikes along Sycamore Creek or hanging out in the empty bleachers at the middle-school football field. When she pedaled into the garage each evening, she could still smell the earthy odor of sawdust and whiskey in the air.
A real estate agent in Pacington had handled the day-to-day—drawing up the contracts, supplying keys to renters, hiring the cleaning crew. And so it went, as far as Kris knew, the modest two-story house on the rocky slope overlooking Lost Lake’s crystal-clear waters abandoned to a revolving door of strangers.
When her father finally passed away from cirrhosis a year ago, it had occurred to Kris that she should phone the agent, if for no other reason than to make sure the rent money wasn’t going straight into his pocket. But she never made that call.
Now the idea of spending the summer at the lake house had taken root in her mind, and she knew she could no longer ignore it.
According to Google, there was only one real estate company in Pacington: Mid-Nation Realty. Clicking on the link took her to Mid-Nation’s homepage, where buttons in the lower right corner offered two options: buy
or rent.
She had clicked rent
and mentally crossed her fingers.
She could not recall the exact address, although the words River Road
materialized from the roiling black fog on her distant memories. It was the antiquated nature of the name that allowed it to survive the erosion of time: the River
the road had once chased had been swallowed by the lake decades ago.
She had typed these words into the search window, tapped the return key, and watched as a new page loaded. She had felt her chest hitch and a cool breath suck quickly between her barely parted lips.
The thumbnail image was barely one inch by one inch, but she recognized the house instantly. After all, it had been appearing in her mind practically every hour on the hour. She slid her finger over the trackpad and clicked.
In a bold sans serif font, the listing christened this property a Charming Summer Home on the Shores of Breathtaking Lost Lake!
There was a gallery of nearly twenty pictures, and as she scrolled through them, she felt as though she were seeing through a tear in the fabric of time. In a way, she was. The soft focus and faded colors instantly told her she was looking not at the multiple-megapixel snapshots of a modern digital camera but at photos taken on actual film. The glowing orange date stamp in the corner of each photo confirmed this: 4/23/98.
At the bottom of the screen, a rectangular box contained the words: Check for Availability.
For the second time, Kris had drawn in a nervous breath as she forced her finger down on the trackpad.
All of June was wide open, as was July and August and September. Unless there was a problem with the site, the lake house at 106 River Road was free and clear through the end of December.
Kris had sat back from the iMac that was wedged into a too-small shelf in the mudroom, and she realized she was smiling.
Okay. This could work. This could actually work.
She clicked the contact us tab, and a fresh email opened in a new window. There was no way she was paying the listed rate of $105 a day for a house her family had owned since she was five. Her fingertips flew over the keys, the driving rhythm of her typing growing faster and faster until her eyes could barely keep up with the words as they scrolled across the screen. She hit send without looking back through what she had written. And then she waited.
Thirty minutes later, a ding announced the arrival of an email from Mid-Nation’s one and only agent, Darryl Hargrove. His response began with the expected pleasantries. He knew Kris’s father well and had been saddened to hear of his passing. He had been a good man
who was always pleasant
and very proud of his family.
How the hell Darryl Hargrove knew that her father was proud of his family was anyone’s guess. The next few lines proved to be less helpful. Yes, Hargrove admitted, their lake house was available, but it hadn’t been rented in some time and probably needed some sprucing up.
He could offer Kris any number of other summer homes around Lost Lake or, better yet, a house in town just off Center Street, a block away from Pacington’s best shops and restaurants.
Free of charge, of course.
A house off Center Street hasn’t been stuck in my goddamn head like the catchiest pop song ever written, Kris thought. What she wrote in her reply was considerably more polite. A little dust didn’t scare her. She wanted their house, please and thank you.
This is going to be good,
she had whispered to herself as she waited for those other voices in her head to announce their protest. But they remained strangely, suspiciously silent.
Kris had packed their things in a single afternoon. Duffel bags full of clothes. Cardboard boxes of items she knew Sadie would miss—stuffed animals, blankets, chapter books, and, of course, art supplies. The girl had never picked up a sketchpad or notebook that she didn’t desperately need. Before the accident, back when Sadie had a shimmering light behind her eyes, she would sit for hours filling blank pages with her drawings. Sometimes they were landscapes crawling with colorful insects and exotic beasts. Other times they were intricate designs and patterns of her own invention.
But in the days since Jonah’s death, not a single notebook was opened, not a single crayon was picked up. Kris packed them anyway. She longed to see that light again. She could not allow herself to believe that it had been snuffed out.
Two days after waking to the impossibly real image of the lake house in her mind, Kris and Sadie were on the road. They drove out of Black Ridge as the sun broke over Mount Ash, the shadow of its jagged peak like a broken tooth. In her rearview mirror, the mountains of Colorado sank down below the horizon, and the shimmering waves of the Great Plains stretched out before her, beckoning them like the mirage of a waterless sea.
Gold fire burned a line across the horizon, melting away the night. Soon the deep blue would fade like a bruise, and the sky would become a robin’s egg, its color swept away in places by wisps of white cloud.
They were headed straight for the house. Despite the fact that there was still over eighty miles to drive, Kris could feel it there, just past the edge of the world. She was on the descent, like a rocket being drawn back to Earth by the pull of gravity. This arc in the highway would deliver them straight to its door.
It was waiting for them.
Empty.
Eager for their arrival.
In the back seat, Sadie shifted uncomfortably. She said nothing, but Kris knew what this sound meant, the refrain of every child, dead father or not: Are we there yet?
Not much longer,
Kris assured her.
Tell me about the house, she imagined Sadie asking. Kris rarely heard her daughter’s voice these days. When Sadie did speak, her words were flat and emotionless. They no longer danced on the sweet, lilting breeze of her childish voice. They bore a cautious skepticism no eight-year-old should know.
The house …
Kris began. She could see it again, right in front of her. She forced herself to look through it, to keep her eyes safely on the road ahead.
The first thing you’ll notice, when we get close, is the lake through the trees.
She remembered being a little girl, sitting up in her seat to peer out the side window of her father’s station wagon. Through the trees, she glimpsed it—light on the water—and a shiver of excitement stirred in her chest. It was as if the branches had parted just enough to let her, and only her, see through, as if she were getting a peek at a magical place.
But the house … the house was the true gift. The same thought occurred to her each time they rumbled slowly through the open gate and down the smooth concrete drive: the forest had given this house to them. A thousand years ago, the forest had opened up and there it was, built from the wood of the trees, from the stones of the earth.
Unbuckling her seat belt, little Krissy would slip to the edge of the vinyl seat and peer over her mother’s shoulder as, through the windshield, a fairy-tale illustration came to life before her eyes.
A simple brick path leading to the house cut a passageway between bushes thick with wildflowers. Honey bees clung to the petals, their legs fat with pollen. To one side, ringed at its base by patches of orange butterfly milkweed blooms, was a ceramic birdbath. The statuettes of two bluebirds perched, motionless, on either side of the basin. Birds of all sizes and colors—cardinals, blue jays, finches, sparrows—flocked to this shallow pool, its water warmed by the summer sun, just as people in neighboring towns flocked to Lost Lake. The front yard was alive with the buzz of insects and the cheerful whistles of songbirds.
At the end of the path, three steps rose up to the porch. Four columns of stacked river rock, held in place by gray mortar, rose three feet from the wooden floor, and then thick pine trunks sprouted from the top of each one, as if the trees had forced their way up through the stone to be part of the house.
The outside of the house was painted a pristine white, and it glowed in the sunlight as if it had been sprinkled with fairy dust. Around each window was a cherry-red frame that popped against the white clapboards like lipstick on a shirt collar.
There were two things in particular that filled young Krissy with the sensation of being a princess spirited away to a secret retreat in the woods. The first was the thick-cut western cedar roof, gray and weathered nearly to the point of petrification. The humid summers had warped the shingles into their own unique shapes. Wedged into the wide spaces between the shingles were dried leaves from autumns past. Patches of bright green moss dotted the roof. This was the roof of a princess’s hideaway, like the fairies’ cottage where Princess Aurora was taken as a baby in hopes that her delicate fingers would never feel the cursed prick of a needle.
The other was the oval window on the right side of the second story. It, too, was trimmed in a brilliant red, but its shape, when coupled with the sunlight glinting off its textured glass, gave it the appearance of a coin at the bottom of a fountain. When the shade was pulled halfway down, it looked like the house was winking—
Winking?
Sadie whispered in disbelief.
The sound of Sadie’s voice jolted Kris. She hadn’t realized she’d actually been speaking aloud. She rose up in her seat to get a better look into the rearview mirror. Sadie was staring out the window, watching the countryside flash by, her face slack, expressionless.
Yeah. That’s right, sweetie.
Flicking on her blinker, Kris steered the Jeep over to the next exit ramp and onto Highway 75. A mere ten miles more and they would leave the highway altogether, exiting to a narrower two-lane road that dipped low between hills much rockier than the lush green mounds of the Flint Hills through which they had just passed.
I can even remember the way the place smelled,
Kris told her daughter. Right when you walk in, it’s like the wood in the walls is still alive. At the back of the house, it’s all windows, the whole wall. They look like they stretch up to the sky. You can see the lake from there, behind the house. Sadie, you’ve never seen water as clear as this. It’s like liquid glass. And behind, that’s the red hills, redder than the windows on the house, and you have to wonder if this is just …
She didn’t say it. She couldn’t. Not aloud.
So her mind finished it for her: … make believe.
The highway, as straight and narrow as every other road they had driven on since entering the Sunflower State, began to dip into the basin of Southeast Kansas. Without warning, the road sloped sharply down as it