Banished From Grace: Fall From Grace, #1

Chapter One

As I performed CPR, I felt some of her ribs crack. Gosh, I was being as careful as possible.

Do you think you could be a little less rough on the steering? I’m trying to save a life here and don’t want to fall off this bed.

One of my pet peeves was performing compressions on top of a bed while it was actually driven to the operating theatre. The patient I was doing CPR on was technically dead, but the monitor strapped to her belly indicated the little life she carried still had a heartbeat. This is the life we were going to save by emergency c- section, and if it was going to happen, I had to keep the mother’s heart beating enough to allow the blood flow through the umbilical cord.

Sharp left ahead! The ambulance officer steered us around the corner.

Sharp was not the word for it. I jolted against the opposite wall as we went around and headed straight for her abdomen. If I landed on her belly I would definitely create a bigger problem; the placenta feeding the baby could detach away from the wall and its oxygen and nutrition supply would be stopped; the surgeon would have to move fast. Maybe not fast enough to save this life.

Putting my hands on both sides of the bed, I attempted to reduce the impact to a slight blow, but a hand came up from nowhere and pushed me to the side. That must have been Tucker the driver, anticipating my landing. I repositioned myself continuing compressions; 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, followed by a sharp breath. I could see the surgeon preparing for surgery as he washed his hands meticulously clean, allowing the scrub nurse who held out his gown for him to put his arms through, then his gloves.

Full history Nardia; see if we can save the mother too.

Thirty year old female, thirty weeks pregnant, first child, married and she is the victim of a car crash. I contacted antenatal before arrival; they stated a normal no-event pregnancy, last visit was three days ago with nil issues at that stage.

I can’t find a pulse so you better continue compressions ‘til the last second. The incision was made with no anaesthetic; I should add that to documentation later. I could not believe my job some days.

About to make the first incision. Nardia, hop down please. Cutting through subcutaneous tissue now – bleeding present – that’s a good sign. We may be able to save the mother after all. CPR can be quite exhausting, so I was more than happy to be done.

I knew the mother was just about gone from this world. I could feel her soul slipping away now; she was not supposed to live and I could not do anything here to help her.

The surgeon pulled the baby out and I heard one of the nurses present gasp. The baby was not breathing and presented signs of cyanosis – a bluish colour to his skin – that indicated he had not received enough oxygen from the mother's blood supply. She had most definitely lost too much blood from the impact of her head hitting the windscreen. When will society learn that driving while intoxicated kills people? The team commenced CPR, attempting to force life, but to no avail.

I could see the essence of the baby’s soul rising from the body, then as time froze, he arrived – the most magnificent being you had ever seen, surrounded by a rainbow ray of light. Looking at him was like seeing fireworks at the point of the explosion; so breathtakingly beautiful it was hard not to sigh.

Nardia, my child, it has been a long time. The angel spoke with so much reverence.

Yes, it has been Benilde. I have been doing as asked.

Child, you always do, but I see this time you have not acted as I would have expected. Can you not feel the greatness in this infant’s soul, the pure unselfishness this child will become? This child is so unique and we will protect him until he can protect himself.

I cannot feel it, why can I not feel it? I could not help but panic as I responded to his question.

Nardia you have a gift. We allow you to choose who is worth saving, as long as you don’t bring attention to yourself, but you will be made to save who we say or there will be punishment; we don’t wish to make your life unfair or unjust.

I understand, Your Grace.

Peace be with you child; you will be rewarded. The magnificent angel bowed after speaking, signalling his departure.

Everything caught up so quickly, time had restarted, and I raced around the operating table and demanded to help. I only have to touch the baby and he will be okay.

Nardia, you just did compressions; it’s okay, let us deal with this. One of the older nurses was trying to soothe me.

No, I can help! I’m specially trained in the resuscitation of babies.

You’re not thinking right – back off Nardia! That was Jessica.

Oh, I wish I could tell Jessica to shut up. I could see more of the baby’s essence leave this world. A pounding started in my head with a not particularly nice voice yelling at me, Save that baby! I was now dodging around to get to this infant; everyone around me must have thought I was losing it.

Calm down. We can’t do any more now, we have done enough. If only the doctor knew.

One of the baby’s fingers was hanging down next to Jessica’s waist. As she gave one last breath I extended my body as much as I could and lightly touched the little finger. The connection was enough because I forced everything I had into that little finger. His finger glowed and the glowing warmth worked its way up into his entire body. Upon reaching the lungs the first inspiration was made, then another, then a loud shrilling cry.

I could hear the crying but all I could pay attention to was the tiny snowflake fragment of his soul floating back to his body. This boy was so special; those fragments were a magnitude of bright colours, shimmering and blinding my vision.

I had done something so beautiful today. Who will this boy be? A doctor, a human rights activist, a president, a saint ... just maybe.

Through this whole charade I was oblivious to the actions behind me, where the other team of doctors were trying to save the mother; they had contained the blood loss and had injected the necessary drugs into her veins to restart her heart. The defibrillator was charging up its shock and after asking people to stand clear, three shocks were delivered, then a few breaths into her mouth. The shocks and breaths were repeated, but nothing happened.

I’m going to roll this patient over and I want you to check her back for any bleeding, as it may give us an indication whether there is an underlying reason she is not responding. The first surgeon was still working on the mother, dictating tasks.

She was rolled over and her shift pulled up. This revealed extensive bruising and bleeding around her kidney region; this may be our cause. This information was relayed back to the doctor.

She has not had a pulse for about twenty minutes, and who knows how long she was lacking in oxygen. Maybe the brain damage is too irreversible to be able to restart her body, replied Jessica.

Sadly, I believed she was correct. The time of death was called at twelve hundred hours, and now it was someone’s responsibility to inform the husband. Luckily, I was not a doctor. I would get the better of the jobs and perform the after death preparation of the body. I would rather do the last caring act possible for this new mother, which involved washing, redressing and making her look as peaceful as possible.

Chapter Two

It was never a pleasant feeling informing a family member that his or her loved one had died. I really felt for this new father. Here he was grieving for his wife and also trying to be happy about the birth of his child. I almost felt relieved for the child, having not known his mother, for he would not feel the sorrow. But as I had a lot more experience in this category, my relief was squashed by the child’s curiosity in the upcoming years.

And who am I? Well that is a very good question. I will tell you what I know, the rest I will find out someday ... hopefully.

I don’t remember my childhood, and maybe I never had one. My earliest memory was waking up in an abandoned, decrepit building made of wood. I couldn’t remember who I was or what I was doing there. I had walked outside and there were people everywhere, packing up their horses and carts. I was very curious and walked up to one of the ladies who was wearing an elaborately embroidered dress and rings on each finger.

Where am I?

Get away from me. You could be diseased. She swiftly kicked me away from her.

I repeated, Where am I?

St. Giles.

I still did not understand where I was and I didn’t get any more information from this woman before two soldiers approached me and crossed their swords against my chest and forced me into a dwelling with a red cross painted on the doorway.

If you do not go in there, we will kill you. You people have been ordered to stay inside and not leave ‘til the town’s people have left. This guard spoke to me in sympathetic tone.

A very old and thin man approached me. Come my child, we will not hurt you.

I looked at his beautiful brown eyes and only saw compassion in them, and I stepped inside the door and closed it behind me.

My name is Brom, who are you? You seem to not be aware of what has happened here. This caring man was wearing a dirty brown shirt full of holes and blackish-brown pants. 

I do not know who I am. What were the guards talking about?

Our people are dying. With every passing week we are losing hundreds. The rich can leave, but the poor are not allowed to. They think we have caused this and are spreading it.

Can I help? What can I do?

We only have five who are not sick now. I would advise you to leave as soon as you can. Others have fled through the forest to the next town to escape the death here.

Why don’t you leave?

I have lost my wife, I have lost my only son. This baby is sick and is the only family member I have left and I will not leave him. Now he is sick – I want my family to see a loving face when they leave this world.

I looked down at the tiny baby, so small and fragile and my stomach churned, as if I was sick. If a full-grown, healthy adult could not survive this illness, how could a small baby? I started caring for the sick, learning everything I could from Brom. He was no expert, and really had no nursing skills at all, but he kept them safe and comfortable.

I had been in the small house for two months when I started to think maybe I had a real gift for helping the sick. Only half of my patients died compared to all of Brom’s. Most of my people were making a miraculous recovery, as they had gone from near dying to walking again within a few days. Brom said I had become a lucky charm for the town folk of St. Giles. Yet the small baby was slowly growing sicker.

One night I was placing logs on the fire and Brom approached me frantically, crying and shaking. I knew the time had come, the one I most feared. I knew this would break him, to lose his last living relative. The little baby, named Oliver, was coughing up blood and having seizures, and we both knew it would not be long now.

Can you please hold Oliver? I need to change his blankets; he is sweating and I just want to make him comfortable for his last few hours.

Sure. Taking the infant, as Brom was only just keeping himself together, I was surprised I was even allowed to hold the baby. His breathing was becoming slower and more irregular and at the time I thought he had stopped all together. Brom brought the blankets over and little Oliver gave one last beautiful smile and stopped breathing. Brom dropped the blankets and just stared, shaking all over.

Brom, he has gone to a better place. I didn’t know if this was true but I felt it so strong in my bones, I knew I had to be right.

I am going to get his christening gown; his parents would have wanted that.

Brom returned with the gown and a wooden set of rosary beads. The beads gave me butterflies in my stomach, as something in my mind was trying to come to the surface, and then time stopped. What was happening? Who was this person in front of me, or more like what was he? It looked like a man, but he had these wings coming from his back and the light was shining so brightly from him I feared if I looked too long I would go blind. Long blonde hair cascaded down his slender frame, sitting over a white shift that reached the floor.

My name is Benilde; I am your guide, a healing guide.

What was he talking about?

We angels have bestowed you with a gift – this gift we want you to use to help those who are sick and near dying. You have the power to be able to choose who you wish to heal, and others who you will recognize as special and who will make a difference to humanity.

Is that why the people I have cared for the last two months survived?

No, these people have gotten better because they were always going to get better, but this baby, you can save him. All you have to do is touch the baby and will it, and your determination will force life back into his body. He will live once again. 

It couldn’t be that easy? Was I becoming ill? Was this death starting to seize me, making me see things?

This is a very special gift. Not many possess this, and you will need to keep this secret. His manner was very serious as he spoke.

Okay, I did not really understand this, but why not give it a try? Um, okay, thanks.

We will meet again. That, I was not too sure about, as I was pretty sure this was a hallucination.

Time started back up again. How was any of this possible? I don’t know much, but this was impossible. The infant’s body was limp in my arms. Looking up at Brom’s tear-filled eyes, I realised I should at least try. This kind and caring man had taken me in, taught me all he had known and never judged my situation; for him I will try my hardest.

As I cradled little Oliver in my arms I looked down at his body and said to myself, please bring this child back to life. This was not going to happen. If I could do something as wonderful as this, I would have done it over the last few months, time and time again. I would let no one die. It is simply impossible. People don’t just walk around and perform these kinds of miracles. Oliver had not taken a single breath for about three minutes already and his skin had turned a grey pasty colour. The redness around his eyes cleared, his cough ended and with one breath, colour returned to his skin, he smiled the loveliest smile and stared into his grandfather’s eyes.

Brom cradled the babe in his arms and lovingly stroked his face. Brom knew what had happened was not right, but he remained the loving mentor I had come to respect over the last few months.

Chapter Three

The first time I healed was many years ago. I have lived a very long life, and to this very day I still question who I am. I have lived for around three hundred and ninety-two years, yet