Sleep Recovery: The five step yoga solution to restore your rest
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About this ebook
If you're suffering from insomnia or interrupted sleep, or waking up feeling un-refreshed, you're not alone. This compassionate and practical guide to recovering your sleep helps you to repair the physical, mental, emotional and energetic habits that may be sabotaging your sleep. You'll find your personal sleep type, put in place healthier habits and re-learn how to rest deeply and easily. You'll find your best pathway to sleep recovery, with results you can see immediately, and that build over time.
Includes: simple yoga stretches and powerful breath practices to settle you for a good night's sleep, and super-charge your energy in the morning; restorative yoga postures and mindfulness to give you energy all day; and all the information you need to troubleshoot your lifestyle to support better sleep. The book is illustrated throughout with inspiring line drawings and instructive diagrams.
Using the practical wisdom in this book, you'll learn to wake up happier and healthier, at every age and stage in your life.
Lisa Sanfilippo
Lisa Sanfilippo is a recovered insomniac who has tried, in her worst hours, every therapy, potion, pill and prop to help her sleep – and finally found a sustainable way to wake up happier. She's led herself and others to better sleep since 2009. Lisa is a qualified psychotherapist, a senior yoga teacher and teacher trainer at Triyoga, the UK's premiere yoga studio, and trains yoga therapists with Yogacampus in London. www.sleeprecoveryyoga.com @sleep_recovery www.lisayogalondon.com
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Sleep Recovery - Lisa Sanfilippo
Contents
INTRODUCTION TO SLEEP RECOVERY: Waking up happy starts now
SLEEP RECOVERY: A new approach
STEP 1: Repair your body
STEP 2: Replenish your energy
STEP 3: Reclaim your mind
STEP 4: Restore a sense of calm
STEP 5: Release fear, reawaken happy
A final note
Acknowledgments
Index
INTRODUCTION TO SLEEP RECOVERY
Waking up happy starts now
WE ALL KNOW A MAGICAL UNICORN SLEEPER: lucky people who can do whatever they want, put their bodies in bed at any hour, close their eyes, and wake up eight hours later with no problem, feeling totally refreshed. I’m not one of those people. I have to take care with what I do all day for my sleep to stay in tune. And even if you were once such a magical beast with easy, carefree sleep, I’m guessing this isn’t the case for you right now – so what we will do together in this book is uncover simple things you can do for yourself, any time, anywhere, to ensure you get the good-quality sleep you need so you wake up refreshed, with plenty of energy for the day ahead. You’ll never have to worry about your sleep again.
For many years now, I’ve been holding workshops that gather people together to sort out what’s going on, and to help them find lasting sleep solutions. If you were there, I’d ask you to raise your hand when I get to the problem(s) you recognise:
◆ Are you struggling to fall asleep, even though you’re exhausted?
◆ Are you waking up in the middle of the night with your mind – or your heart – racing?
◆ Are you waking up after only a few hours’ sleep and feeling like the day drags on in a fog?
◆ Do you seem to sleep forever and still not feel rested?
◆ Are you here because you want to help your partner, your child, or a friend who’s having trouble sleeping?
By raising your hand and looking around, you’d see how many other people in the room share your problem with sleep. Then I’d tell you that I too had most of those problems, and wish I’d known that I wasn’t alone. I’ve had nearly every kind of sleepless night and all manner of insomnia, but I’ve learned to repair my sleep and manage my energy all day – and because of this, I know I can help you find your way through it.
Insomnia and me
As a long-suffering insomniac, I bought every lotion and potion, tried every technique, tool and prop, every herbal remedy, aromatherapy, and pillow spray: you name it, I tried it. These all failed to get to the root of the problem. What I came to understand is that sleeplessness is a symptom of something else in our lives that has gone out of balance.
During a bout of devastating night-after-night insomnia in my mid-twenties, I visited my doctor in desperation. She checked me over and found nothing wrong with my breathing, my thyroid or my hormones: there was nothing physically wrong with me that would cause insomnia. She then gave me a great gift by refusing to prescribe sleeping pills; since I was so young, she worried that she’d be encouraging a lifetime of dependency. This was a good call on her part: I had to find a non-drug way to get to sleep and stay asleep. She suggested that I start doing yoga, and work with a counsellor or therapist. What she could see – but didn’t articulate in so many words – was that my sleep problems had multiple roots, in my body and mind: my psychology, my nervous system, my emotions and maybe something deeper still.
I decided that if I didn’t do something about my sleeplessness and the chaos it caused me, I’d be in for a life sentence. Out of desperation, and because I really wasn’t willing to tolerate a lifetime of crippling exhaustion, I took her advice – and in the process became a yoga therapist and psychotherapist myself.
How I learned to ‘just relax’
Back when I was at my lowest ebb, if you’d told me to ‘just relax’ I’d probably have wanted to shout at you: ‘I AM TRYING TO RELAX!’ If I could, I really would have, but I genuinely didn’t know how. Life involved perpetual low-level tension, some part of which would never budge. Times that were supposed to be fun (senior prom, graduation day, birthdays, vacations, at the hairdresser, even in a massage) were not: on edge the whole time, the knot in my stomach was a constant. The sense of tightness and its companion, anxiety, got worse when I’d try to sleep. I’d get into bed, slowing down for the first time all day, and notice the buzzing in my legs, shoulders bunched up to my ears, brow permanently furrowed – even my feet felt tight.
My first yoga class came free with my membership to a gym occupying a converted bank in Brooklyn. The basement cardio studio, free weights occasionally crashing into the floor overhead, was yogafied with foil-wrapped tea lights around the perimeter of the room. As the grey-haired yoga teacher, clad in floaty linen, offered each maddeningly slow stretch, I held back the urge to bolt from the room. But her voice was firm and soothing and her poetic suggestions held my interest. ‘Lift your arms and ribbon your breath up your spine.’ ‘Okay,’ I thought, ‘I’ll play’. I bent, and I breathed.
About half an hour into the class, we did this twisting thing. The teacher described its action ‘like wringing out a wet towel’ and when I wrung, a disturbing pain shot through my chest and back. Unravelling from the position, I felt something else, the opposite of pain – a tingly feeling in my ribs. The knot in my stomach felt smaller and one of my shoulders sank lower than the other. Interested, I gave in to the idea of seeing the class through to the end. In the locker room mirror afterwards, my eyes looked bigger than usual, the creases in my forehead softened. My lungs seemed to take in more air and my customary fast stomp home was more of a saunter, like floating on a cushiony pair of sneakers.
What I know now is that a deep stretch, paired with smooth, even breathing, gets the muscle fibres to unstick themselves, and knots in the muscles, called adhesions, can begin to unravel. It can feel like something is being torn apart, because that’s exactly what’s happening. When I stretched areas of my body that I’d never felt before, I became aware of places I’d never related to until then. The space and openness, the increase in circulation and the relaxation that came from it made the discomfort and the oddity of it worth it, and I’ve come to associate that sensation with deeply pleasant softening and clarifying.
These days, I do yoga as if I were tidying a room: opening up the cupboards and cleaning out even the places I couldn’t initially see. It’s a lot like the way the Japanese tidying guru Marie Kondo suggests we declutter: whisk everything into the centre of the room – clothes out of the drawers, turn out the closets, empty the laundry baskets and get all the boxes out from underneath the bed, see it all together to become aware of what’s really there – and then make choices. Throw stuff away, or put it back in a more organised way.
The yoga stretches bring different parts of your body into focus. Feeling all the little creaks and tweaks from every part means I stop squirrelling tension away in hidden cupboards and corners in my body. This stretching consciously with breath is a clear-out – not turning a power hose to the place, when a fine feather duster will do the work. The practice I do, and which I offer you in this book, is subtle and kind. I find it pleasant enough to seduce me into doing it, rather than it feeling like an obligation, simultaneously calming but strong. Doing the pre-sleep yoga stretches cleans the gunk out of my body so that it’s clear and spacious – ready for good rest.
The sleeplessness epidemic
During the height of my insomnia, I was convinced I was the only one awake in the middle of the night, thrashing around in the sheets, my limbs twitching. I now know it wasn’t just me and that, since then, the global problem has become a whole lot worse: perhaps we’ve even reached a ‘sleeplessness epidemic’. Today, in many Western post-industrial countries, including my native United States and my now-home in the UK, up to 20 per cent of the adult population has clinically diagnosable insomnia, meaning that one in five of us meets the clinical definition: because of our sleep problems, we are significantly impaired – that is, more than three times per week for more than three months at a time – in our day-to-day ability to function. And even greater numbers of us are simply unsatisfied with our sleep or worried about it.
I’ve seen insomnia and sleep problems go from something suffered in silence to a common complaint; and it seems that, as a society, we have become obsessed with sleep. Not a day goes by when I don’t see a new sleep-related product advertised or a new article in a broadsheet, tabloid or social media post offering ‘top sleep tips’. It’s not surprising: we’ve spent nearly a generation thinking sleep was something negotiable – and quotes like ‘I’ll sleep when I’m dead’ and ‘Sleep is for wimps’ have been thrown about by everyone from rock stars to politicians.
A recent wave of books now highlights how important sleep is to our well-being on every level. It seems strange to me that we would need to read these books – almost like saying ‘eating is important’. But then again, in our culture, the basics have become problematic. As we have become alienated from our bodily, creaturely selves, the very things we rely on for our survival – eating and sleeping – have become deeply disordered for so many of us. Another creaturely urge – sex – seems similarly problematic, with people feeling alienated or over-indulging in unhealthy ways in record numbers. You may argue with me, but I believe that when done well and in a healthy way, getting good and nourishing sleep, like sex, involves intimacy, safety and awareness. So, recovering our sleep restores trust, tenderness, and sensitivity to our bodies and to every aspect of ourselves: body, energy, mind, emotions and spirit. This book gives you a map to find your way back to a connection with your creaturely self.
A cue that change is needed
If you can’t sleep, you may have some of the same thoughts and feelings I did when in the depths of my sleep-deprived desperation:
I can’t let go.
I can’t stop.
I can’t trust.
I just need to get this next thing done.
Something isn’t right.
I can’t even remember how it feels to rest.
Something keeps waking me up.
The fundamental key to Sleep Recovery, which underpins every step in this process, is that when some part of ourselves is out of balance, we get cues that say ‘change is needed’. These cues may start as whispers, then become exclamations, and if you don’t listen, then finally your whole system is shouting at you. While for some people the whispers and shouts come through in the form of digestive problems, skin breakouts or other health problems, for me – and for the people I describe in this book – sleeplessness is the message that something is wrong. It’s like the ‘canary in the coal mine’ telling us that something isn’t right, that change is needed.
If, like I was, you are miserable enough, or are tired of feeling less than your best, you too will be motivated to make changes to restore your sleep – and you don’t need to spend years putting the pieces together. I’ve laid it out for you. The approach I offer is the result of over 20 years’ research into medical, psychological, traditional and even some very non-traditional approaches – and while the programme is yoga-based, there is nothing woo-woo about it; you won’t have to become a contortionist, change religion or join a cult! I have simply brought together the most useful parts of all these disciplines, which, together with my own experiences of sleeplessness, my training and clinical work as a yoga therapist and psychotherapist, and my work with hundreds of people, along with a little trial and error, have contributed to the creation of this five-step guide. Sleep Recovery gives you the knowledge, tools and resources to repair your own natural ability to rest, starting tonight, and will enable you to do this for the rest of your life.
The tools and practices in this book are ones I’ve used for years, and I’ve seen them change people on every level. I’m not an expert in all things sleep now as a career choice, or because it seemed interesting academically. The things I’ve learned and offer you here have been my lifelines. The tools have helped me to repair my body, mind and emotional responses, the most elemental parts of my life, and sharing them with other people feels meaningful and soulful. It’s this sense of purpose that I see many of my clients have lost, and part of the waking-up process that sleeplessness can nudge us into is about just that – meaning, value and a sense of purpose.
I no longer worry about my sleep, and I generally have plenty of energy – because I use the meditation or restorative practices during the day if I need them. These aren’t just things I do for my sleep, but practices of nourishing myself through body, energy, mind, heart and soul. What I’m offering you as practices for sleep recovery are actually tools for awakening – for feeling a sense of wellness, spiritedness and joy. I will help you get to the root of your sleep problems, and if you follow the five steps described and do the practices along the way, you’ll sleep more, rest more deeply and wake up, on the whole, happier and healthier.
How to use the five-step programme
In each step in this programme, you’ll get new information and tools to repair the places where your sleep has broken. When I teach group classes, I spend one week on each of the steps. Reading the whole book once and then doing a step each week is a great way to maintain momentum and see results. You can, of course, spend more time with each step. Start at the chapter that grabs your attention most and adapt as you need. But remember – it only works if you are willing to take action, make changes, and put what you learn into practice.