Harmer John
By Hugh Walpole
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Hugh Walpole
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Harmer John - Hugh Walpole
VI
BOOK I
HIS ARRIVAL
CHAPTER I
HOW HE CAME TO OUR TOWN ON A STORMY NIGHT AND FOUND UNEXPECTEDLY A HOME
On a December night in the year 1906 a ferocious storm swept across our town.
There was nothing unusual in this: in Southern Glebeshire the winter is so often mild that the sea (impatient at the lassitude of the air) seems suddenly to rise, and to wish to beat its way across the narrow peninsula, to sweep the fields and hedges with its salt water: it calls the heavens to its assistance, the skies open, water pours out in torrents, the wind screams, shrieks, bellows–suddenly it knows that all is vanity, shrugs its hoary shoulders, creeps back muttering, lifts its hand to the sky in a gesture of cynical farewell, and lies, heaving, hoping for a more victorious day.
In the weeks around Christmas there is often such a storm, and, when other parts of England are showing gratitude sentimentally for the traditional snow, we recover from our torrents of rain to find the air warm, our skies mildly blue, the tower of our Cathedral stretching pearl-grey to heaven, and the Pol rumpled, with sunshine sliding to the sea.
But the storm while it lasts seems to shake our town to its very roots; you can almost feel wild hands tearing at the stones beneath your feet, rocking, rocking, rocking, hoping that at least one house may tumble....
On this especial evening, December 22, 1906, Mrs. Penethen, a well-known and respected widow, was sitting in front of her kitchen fire, her skirt drawn up to her knees, her toes resting on a wool-worked cushion, in her old old house in Canon’s Yard. The houses in Canon’s Yard are, as every one knows, the oldest in Polchester, and Mrs. Penethen’s was possibly the oldest in Canon’s Yard, so you can guess from that how old it was.
Mrs. Penethen had lived in that house for forty years: she had come into that same kitchen with the brown splashes on the ceiling and the two big warming-pans on the right of the oven when she was a blushing bride of twenty; she had borne two children in the four-poster upstairs, she had nursed her husband in the weeks of his fever, had seen him laid in his coffin, had seen the coffin carried down the crooked black oak staircase–and now there she sat with her feet upon the fender reading Thelma, by Miss Marie Corelli, and wondering whether she would hear the Cathedral clock strike ten through the storm.
She was not alone in the kitchen. There were also with her a cat, a dog and a sharp-eyed girl. The cat and the dog were asleep, one on either side of the fire; the girl was sitting staring straight before her. Her hands were clasped, not tightly, on her lap.
Mrs. Penethen was accustomed that her daughter Judy, who was now twenty-one and should know better, should sit for hours, saying nothing, doing nothing, only her eyes and her rising, falling breasts moving.
Through the icy cold and black waters of Thelma’s theatrical lumber her mind moved searching for her children. She was always carried away by anything that she read–that was why she liked novels, especially did they lead her into loves and countries that were strange to her. So she had, during the last two hours, been wandering with Thelma; her daughter’s eyes now dragged her back. Fifteen years of married life and no child! All thought of one abandoned–and then Maude. Four more years and then Judy. One more year and the sudden fever, and poor old John with his brown eyes, his side-whiskers and the slight hunch on his left shoulder, shoved down into the ground!
The book slipped on to her lap. She stared into the crimson crystal coals. John!... His hand was on her arm, his soft voice like a lazy cat’s begging her pardon for one of his so many infidelities. He always confessed to her. At first she had been unhappy; once she had run away for two nights, but he always told her that he loved her far the best, that she would outlast all the others. And she did. He was her lover to the very end, and kind and tender.... His brown eyes and the slight hunch on his shoulder.
He had been so sorry always for his infidelities, but he had never promised that there would not be another. He knew that he could not resist.... Here, in Polchester, there had never been a scandal because of him. Women loved him and kept their mouths shut. Not as she had loved him. Not as she had kept her mouth shut. Shut for forty years. That was why they called her a bitter old woman. She put up her hand to her hair. Perhaps she was bitter. Indifferent. She did not believe in people. Cats and monkeys, she had read somewhere.... Only in novels were they fine and noble.
She picked up Thelma again, saying as she did so:
Do you think the Cathedral’s struck ten, Judy?
Maybe,
said the girl.
It’s time Maude was home!
The girl said nothing.
Mr. Fletch is bringing her back.
The girl said nothing.
She read half a page, and the storm forced her to put the book down again. She looked up, listening, rather like a dog sniffing, with her grey hair parted, her fine sharp nose, her cool chin, her long shapely neck wrinkled a little now above the white collar of her grey dress, her hands long and thin, one like a spread fan before the fire. The storm! One of the worst for years. Every window-pane and door in the old house was whining and shivering. The gusts of wind came down the chimney, bringing with them flurries of rain that spluttered upon the coals. She heard a door banging somewhere above in the house. She got up, the book falling on the floor. She listened. Dimly through all the noise she heard the Cathedral chimes strike ten. Strange how dim when the Cathedral was almost next to their own house-wall! She stood listening. Was there not another sound? Some one knocking? She turned back to the room:
Did you hear anything, Judy?
The girl shook her head impatiently. Mrs. Penethen took the lamp from the table, went to the kitchen door and opened it. She stood in the little dark space between the two doors, listening, the lamp raised. The storm had suddenly died down, running now like an animal whimpering about the room.
Now unmistakably there was a knock on the outer door–a pause, and then two more. "With her free hand she pulled back a bolt, turned a key and opened the door a little way. A man was standing there. She always afterwards remembered that he had seemed there in the darkness, lit only by gleams from the blowing street lamp, gigantic.
Who is it?
she asked.
There was no answer. The figure stepped forward.
What do you want?
she asked more sharply, drawing back. The scurrying rain was keen against her face, and the wind, rising once more, blew her clothes against her legs.
I want some supper and a bed.
He drew nearer to her, and she saw that he was carrying a bag. She realised instantly that his voice was a foreigner’s.
I have nothing here,
she answered sharply.
There is a card,
he said, raising one arm, in your window. It says
Spare room for gentleman.’ "
The storm was now shouting at them, trying to drive them in. There is no room,
she screamed against the storm. Engaged.
Then she saw his face as he stepped back beneath the street lamp. It was the face of a boy. She had expected some foreigner, some hulking tramp threatening her. She was not afraid; she had only once or twice in all her life known fear. She knew how to protect herself. But now suddenly she realised that there was no need for protection–no need at all. Then she remembered that the voice had been soft, foreign, but an educated voice.
She moved back carefully into the house. You had better come in for a moment out of this,
she said, raising the lamp.
Thank you,
he said, and followed her in.
In the kitchen there was the light of the fire and the steady flame of the lamp set now on the table. She looked at him sharply, keenly, as she always looked at every one.
She saw now that he was not gigantic but tall indeed, well over six foot. Broad with it. Very broad in the oilskins that he was wearing, the collar turned up high and a seaman’s oilskin cap on his head low down over his brow. The first thing that she noticed seriously was the child-like face shining with the rain through the oilskin. It was as though a boy had dressed in his father’s clothes. But he was not a boy. Thirty, perhaps, or more. The mouth which turned up at the corners now, smiling, was a boy’s mouth. The eyes were bright blue and clear. A lock of damp black hair straggled down beneath the cap, touching his eyebrow.
He made a movement with his hand to push it back.
You’d better take that oilskin off,
she said severely. You’re dripping.
I don’t hope,
he said in a voice rather husky, with a foreign accent that puzzled her because it was strangely familiar, that you’ll think me rude for coming at this hour. My heartliest thanks for your courtesy.
He suddenly clicked his heels and bowed stiffly from the waist up in what she supposed was German fashion, in what at any rate was not English. Then he took off his oilskins, piling them on a chair. He was dressed in a decent dark-blue suit. He was certainly a very large man, as broad as he was tall. He was not fat, but his face was chubby, rosy and plump, his blue eyes staring with a little blinking bewilderment as though he were in truth a small boy suddenly wakened from sleep. He was a man though. He stood like a man, a little on the defensive, balanced stoutly on his legs, ready for any one. Perhaps he was a German, with his bow and his chubby cheeks, his blue eyes and his thick body. She didn’t like Germans.
You can rest here a minute or two if you care to,
she said, but you’d better be getting on soon if you’re wanting a bed to-night.
She looked at him, then added: There’s a hotel down in the town. In the market-place. Down the hill.
Yes,
he said, smiling at her, I were there and all was engaged.
He smiled so that she was compelled to smile too. She did not wish to. She was compelled. Then suddenly he saw Judy.
My daughter,
Mrs. Penethen said. My name is Penethen.
He bowed, then said: Hjalmar Johanson.
I beg your pardon.
Hjalmar Johanson. Svedish. Wait–I have a card.
He delved into his clothes and produced a very large pocket-book, then, after searching, a card. She read:
Hjalmar Johanson,
Gymnastic Instructor,
Certified Professor of Gymnastics, Stockholm.
Address: Amager Faelledvej II/5,
Kobenhavn.
Kobenhavn?
she repeated.
Yes. Copenhagen. That’s what you call it in England. But I’m a Swede. Half–and half English.
Half English?
Yes, my mother were English.
Having gone so far, accidentally as it were, without intending it, she felt that she must offer him some food and drink. Afterwards when, as she so often did, she looked back to the events of this evening, she wondered at her own actions. Unlike her to admit a strange man into her house without a question! But it seemed to her that she was caught by some force stronger than herself, and before she realised it he had drawn up his chair to the table and was eating the cold ham and bread and butter and drinking the beer, talking, laughing, jolly as though he had known them a hundred years. And had he not? It seemed to her that in no time at all he was completely familiar to her. She recognised a dozen little tricks–the foreign accent, the fling back of the head, the sudden dramatic gesture (this so un-English and yet so known to her), the smile that had in some way a touching childish crookedness, the corners of the mouth turning up so that it was saucer-shaped, clown-like, or rather a child laughing so eagerly that the whole face must share. Through it all the clear, steady blue eyes were the most familiar of any. Her own steady, earnest gaze seemed to be returned to her by his, so that their eyes held separate converse, gravely, honestly, apart from the rest of his tale, like two old friends who meet happily in a crowded inn.
As he talked Judy too was caught, Judy who never thought of a man. She turned in her chair to look at him, fixing upon him that same incredulous questioning glance that she had for all humankind. She said nothing, she did not move; she might have been a figure painted in pale blue and grey against her dark chair.
Yes, he was half English, half Swede. His mother was English, a Glebeshire woman indeed–family Polruan, Annie Polruan.
She had gone out when quite a girl with some English people to service in Stockholm. There she had met his father. He was a farmer–not a good man, no. He had been thrown from a horse and killed when he, the boy, was sixteen. The only child. He had had to work for his mother then. Had been all sorts of things in Stockholm, barber’s boy, waiter, sold newspapers, door-boy at a hotel, then because he was tall and strong he had been for some years an artist’s model. He liked that. Oh yes, he loved pictures–never could see enough of them, would go to Italy one day, Florence, yes, and Rome. Then an artist had been good to him and advised him because of his strength to go in for gymnasium, to be a physical instructor, or a masseur. Yes, there were many in Stockholm. He had gone through the course in Stockholm, doing it well. In the middle of it his mother had died. Yes, he had missed her terribly. It was his first great loneliness. He was so lonely, although he had many friends, that so soon as he had finished his course he went to Christiania. He was there for a year teaching gymnastics and doing a special medical course. Then he went to Copenhagen. Yes, the capital of Denmark. A very nice town. He did very well there, teaching exercises, making fat gentlemen and ladies thin, instructing schools. He made some money too–quite a bit. He was restless. His great ambition was to go to England and see where his mother had lived, and afterwards, perhaps Italy... Donatello....
Mrs. Penethen asked whether that was a place.
No, it was a man. A sculptor. Who made statues. Not the greatest, perhaps, but the kindest, the most human, the one to be loved most....
He pulled himself up. He was talking too long. But now he was here. In the town that his mother had always spoken of, with the Cathedral. He would perhaps live here. Make fat ladies thin, teach the children to be strong–and he had wonderful exercises.... He stopped again. After all, if he were to find a bed in the town....
It was at this moment that Mrs. Penethen said that after all she had a spare room. She had been speaking the truth when she had said that she had no bed. This room she did not let save to some one who would take it for a period, several months. But on such a night–and it was late–She was conscious of Judy’s sharp gaze. Yes, she was being impulsive, she who always acted so cautiously, but this man was honest, she would wager her life on it. And his boy’s face. She could not turn him out into that rain. She had the room. It would not take five minutes to make it ready. But some consciousness, perhaps, of her unusual impetuosity made her voice grim as she said to him:
You had better come and see it: you may not like it.
She picked up the lamp, raised it and walked ahead of him. He got up, pulling his big body together.
It will have to be a bad bed not to be right enough for such a night,
he said, laughing. He went with his bag after her up the dark stairs, having to bend his head beneath the door-post.
When they had gone the girl rose from her chair and stood in the middle of the room, listening. Her stare as she waited, one hand on her hip, was ironical, and at the same time rather pathetic, as though she had lost her way, wondered of whom she should ask her direction, but would have no real belief in the security of the answer.
Perhaps it’s Miss Midgeley,
she said aloud. But it was not Miss Midgeley. There were the sounds of a key fitting in the lock, of the door swinging back, of voices, and then three persons came into the room, two men and a girl.
The girl was at once the most noticeable, being quite remarkably beautiful. Her beauty shone through the ugly waterproof that reached to her heels, and in spite of the common cartwheel of a hat burdened with a multitude of cheap pink roses. She did not know how to dress, that was evident, but at once with her very entrance into the room she had taken the pins out of the hat and the hat off her head and was shaking the shabby roses in front of the fire, and so revealed her beautiful fair hair, masses of it, piled and crowned on the top of her tiny head. She was small and slight, perfectly proportioned, and giving the effect of being for ever on tiptoe for a flight,
as though at any moment she might be discovered to have wings and float out into the air, vanishing, a speck of white and gold, into the blue sky. As she turned from the fire to speak to her companions it could be seen that she was happy, excited, pleased. Her ulster had been thrown off and she stood there in her rather common pink dress, her bosom heaving, her eyes dancing, her feet still moving to some enchanting strain.
Oh, Judy, it was heaven!
she cried. You should have been there!
The two men were watching her each in his own way. The one was a big man, fat and fleshy, his face naturally red, turning in the veins around the nose to purple, the eyes small, the eyebrows so lightly marked as scarcely to be seen. He was jauntily dressed in a suit of light grey, and he wore a purple tie with a big horse-shoe pin. He had fat hands with short stumpy fingers. His air was genial but, for some reason to-night, a little uneasy–his age anything between fifty-five and sixty. His clothes fitted his stout limbs too tightly, just as the flower in his coat and the pin in his tie were too large. His companion was a pale, rather ascetic man, with a gentle smile and a courteous manner; nearly obsequious, he nevertheless gave the impression that he had his own private power. His name was Reuben Fletch. He wore a black tie and a neat pair of black shoes.
He was of a well-known Polchester family, had been born and bred in Polchester and had lived there all his life. He had lodged now at Mrs. Penethen’s for a number of years, was a solicitor by profession and a miser above all. He was said to be extremely able, to know neither conscience nor morals, and to have much power over important individuals in our town. He was forty-five years of age and unmarried.
The two men looked at the girl, the eyes of the stout man narrowing until they had almost vanished, and a very faint smile hovering about his lips. Fletch stared, his face immobile.
The girls as they stood together offered an interesting contrast. It was plain that they were sisters, and that they were Mrs. Penethen’s daughters; they had, both of them, something of her refinement in the sharp-pointed noses, the delicate ears and the white shapely necks; but all the life and colour seemed to have been stolen by the one girl from the other–stolen because Maude, the elder, had the air of a victorious captor, and in her lovely shining hair, her gleaming eyes, the soft colour of her cheeks, the grace and movement of her body, she seemed to proclaim her contempt for, her superiority over, the thin little lustreless girl at her side. Lustreless was what poor Judy was, her complexion pale, her mouth frowning, her whole body uneasy and awkward in its pose. A plain girl, even were Maude not there–plainer by far in contrast and from the power of some secret resentment and anger that she was feeling.
Maude turned round to the men. Make yourself comfortable, Mr. Hogg, do. You know my sister Judy?... Where’s mother?
Upstairs,
Judy said, staring at the two men as though she hated them.
She’s not gone to bed? I want my cocoa. You know where the whisky is, Mr. Fletch. I’m sure Mr. Hogg would like a glass.
Mother will be down in a moment,
Judy said. She’s showing a new lodger his room.
A new lodger!
Maude cried. At this time of night!–And mother said she wasn’t going to let the red room anyway. As though we hadn’t enough with Miss Midgeley as it is–
I know. She didn’t mean to let it. But he came in out of the rain, and mother took a fancy to him. He’s a foreigner–
A foreigner!
Yes. A Norwegian or Swede or something. And he’s about eight feet tall.
Judy threw all this out scornfully as though she had contempt for them all but wished to see what effect this news would have upon them.
Not very much apparently. The two men were seated at the table helping themselves to the whisky, and Maude broke out:
Oh well, bother it all anyway. I want my cocoa. It was a lovely dance, wasn’t it, Mr. Hogg? Didn’t you love every minute of it?
She danced a few steps and then stopped abruptly as the door opened and her mother came in, followed by the stranger.
It was strange to observe the effect that at once he made upon all of them. Perhaps Judy alone of all that group observed it. His height had something to do with the challenge that he always presented to any company that he confronted, but it was not only his height. No one, save possibly Miss Midgeley, quite defined it during all that time that he was in Polchester. Mrs. Penethen had her version, Mary Longstaffe had hers, Fletch certainly had his, Ronder his, Cole his–all of them different. Why, to this very moment, so many years afterwards, when it is all a legend, his arrival, his deeds, the after effects, that exact impression of his personality is still hotly debated. All I know is,
Mrs. Penethen herself used to say (she died in 1917), "you couldn’t be the same as you were before he came in, none of you. You fell in love with him at once or you couldn’t bear him. And I fell in love with him. Yes, that very first wet night when he was sitting at my table eating my bread and ham.
I’ve got a room,’ I said, just as though it were some one else speaking the words behind me, for I assure you I had had no more intention of letting that room that night than I had of sailing through the ceiling on wings. But there it was, from the first I couldn’t resist him!"
On this present occasion Mrs. Penethen saw the new arrivals and said shortly, Oh, so you’ve got back. Why, Mr. Hogg, good evening!
He got up and she shook hands with him, not overpleased at his presence it seemed. Pray make yourself at home
(here just a touch of irony perhaps). Oh, let me introduce. This is Mr. Johnson from Copenhagen. My daughter Maude, Mr. Johnson. Mr. Fletch, Mr. Hogg. Have a drop of whisky, Mr. Johnson, I’m sure you need it.
Johanson shook hands with every one, clicking his heels and bending from the waist. That little habit may seem unimportant in itself, but it had its later seriousness, as it led certain people in our town to speak of him as that German
at a time when Germans were not very popular with us because of Hoffmann’s proposed Town Hall.
He sat down very comfortably at the table next to Samuel Hogg, and was very soon telling that gentleman all about himself, his mother and father, Stockholm and Copenhagen, his hopes and his ambitions, it being always his simple way to believe that every one must be interested in hearing about himself just as he was interested in everything that they had to tell him. And Hogg sat with a smile, drinking his whisky.
From the first moment, however, eagerly though he talked, Johanson was conscious of Maude Penethen. He could not but be conscious of her with her wonderful hair, her perpetual movement about the room, her cries and laughter, her little coquetries and brazenries. And she also was conscious of him.
Mother, I want my cocoa. Never mind the men, mother, they can look after themselves. Ladies first. Oh, mother, it was heavenly. I danced every dance. Such a shame it had to be over so early. Lady St. Leath looked in for a moment, mother. Yes, she did. She spoke to Miss Cardigan and asked how the Club was getting on. She made us a little speech and said how glad she was we were all enjoying ourselves. Oh, she looked all right, but a little dowdy, you know, like she always is. She doesn’t know how to dress a bit, and they say her husband would give her anything she’d ask for. Oh yes, and Canon Ronder came, just for ten minutes, and danced with Miss Cardigan. Oh, mother, you would have laughed! He’s like a tub and she’s so skinny. He spoke to me, too, and asked how you were. And I was much the prettiest girl there. I’m sure I was. Wasn’t I, Mr. Hogg?
Indeed you were, Miss Penethen,
he answered, smiling at her.
Well, you shouldn’t say so even though you thought it, and you shouldn’t think it even though you were it,
said her mother. It’s not for you to say.
Maude laughed, drinking her cocoa, balancing on the edge of her chair and stealing glances at Johanson. Suddenly he looked directly at her. Their eyes met. She sprang up from her chair and danced about, flinging her arms around her mother, then rushing at Judy and kissing her, then pausing near Mr. Fletch.
You never danced with me once,
she said.
He looked at her full with his round black eyes. You never asked me,
he said.
Oh, I did! I’m sure I did! Hundreds of times. Never mind! There’s another on Tuesday–
Samuel Hogg got up. I must be going, Mrs. Penethen. It’s late. Thank you for your hospitality.
She did not try to prevent him, but said good night to him gravely. Maude saw him to the door, and there was some giggling and laughter, some low-voiced words before the outer door closed.
I’m sure it’s bed-time for everybody,
said Mrs. Penethen.
But even then the evening was not concluded. The farther door opened, and a little woman with a wrinkled face looked in:
Oh, I beg your pardon, but could I have another candle, Mrs. Penethen? Mine’s about done.
She stepped into the kitchen. Her face was a map of wrinkles, she wore a red woollen jacket and a grey skirt. She was just like a robin. Johanson happened to be near the door. She looked up and saw him.
Good heavens!
she cried.
Maude burst into laughter. Oh, I can’t help it.... I beg your pardon.... But the difference in height.... Oh dear.... Mr. Johnson so tall and Miss Midgeley–!
It was amusing! Mrs. Penethen herself smiled as she said:
Miss Midgeley, this is Mr. Johnson. He has taken a room here.
She looked up at him whimsically. It will never do for us to go about together,
she said drily. The whole town will laugh.
He smiled. They was always saying when I were a boy that I’d be a giant. I were as big when I were fourteen as I am now. There are plenty taller than me in Denmark.
No one had anything to say to this, so they all prepared to go to bed. Only Maude at the last, as he stood aside for her to pass, said, smiling up at him:
Good night, Mr. Johnson. I do hope the bed will be long enough!
CHAPTER II
THE REVEREND TOM AT HOME AND ABROAD
The steepest street in our town, and one of the steepest in Southern England, is Orange Street, and nearly at the top of Orange Street, just below the Monument, is St. Paul’s Church. The Rector of St. Paul’s at this time was the Reverend Thomas Longstaffe. He had been Rector of St. Paul’s for ten years now, coming to Polchester in 1897, Jubilee Year, the very week that Archdeacon Brandon died so tragically.
He was a widower, about fifty years old when he arrived, and with him a daughter of eighteen, Mary, a very pretty girl, the adored of his heart, his only child.
When he had been four years in Polchester a terribly tragic thing occurred. Mary Longstaffe was a very bright, clever girl, modern in her ideas, knowing many things that were entirely beyond the average Polchester young lady of that time. She even talked of going up to Oxford, which was thought very daring of her by Mrs. Sampson, Mrs. Preston and other ladies in the Precincts. The Precincts ladies in fact did not like her, called her fast, and did not invite her to their houses. In any case, the Cathedral set always kept to itself in our town, and Tom Longstaffe, being only Rector of St. Paul’s and not even a Minor Canon, would be, of course, outside it. A certain Major Waring, a retired Indian officer, lived in our town and had an only son who was at Oxford. Lance Waring fell violently in love with Mary Longstaffe, and throughout one summer they were always together, riding, playing tennis, walking, and dancing. Early in the September of that year he was thrown from his horse and killed. In October it was known that Mary Longstaffe was going to have a baby, and that Lance Waring was its father.
What horrified every one so terribly was that she stayed calmly on in our town for several months after this was known. She seemed to have no shame at all, and walked up and down the High Street and took her usual seat in the Cathedral just as though she were like every one else. Of course every one cut her, every one except old Mrs. Combermere, who was eccentric and just did things to show her eccentricity, and young Lady St. Leath, whose brother had married the daughter of Samuel Hogg the publican, once owner of a low public-house down in Seatown, who was queer,
therefore, in any case, and the perpetual sorrow and cross of the old Dowager’s life.
Mary Longstaffe had stayed in Polchester until Christmas of that year, and after that she vanished. It was rumoured vaguely from time to time that she lived in London, that she had a son, that she lived by writing for the newspapers; in any case she was not seen again in Polchester.
On the whole there had been considerable sympathy felt for poor Tom Longstaffe. He had always been a popular man: she was his only child, and he must be very lonely now without her. It all came of the girl having no mother and picking up all these advanced ideas. It was as likely as not that she had become one of these Suffragettes about whom now in London every one was talking.
Yes, the Reverend Tom was lonely, very lonely indeed. He was now, in 1907, sixty years of age, and for the five last years he had lived quite alone save for an old family servant. He was a short, thick-set man with a face red-brown, the colour of a pippin apple, grey hair, and a good strong chin. He was a man who adored sport of every kind and was never indoors when he could be out of it. This was the man known to most of the Polcastrians, a jolly, red-faced, kind-hearted sportsman with not too much of the parson about him.
Within this man there was another, a man deeply religious and passionately affectionate. He was never much of a reader, his sermons were so simple as to be called by many people childish, and he never spoke of his religion unless it were his duty to do so; it was, nevertheless, at the root of his whole life.
He was also, outwardly, nothing of a sentimentalist–nevertheless he had had in earlier years two friendships, and afterwards his love for his wife and his daughter, and these few relationships had been passionate in their hidden intensity. Of his two friends one had died and the other had married; his wife had endured two years of agony from cancer before her death; his daughter’s tragedy was common knowledge to every one. What he had suffered through these things no one save his daughter knew–nevertheless here he was, the cheeriest and merriest clergyman in Polchester.
The Rectory was a square grey-roofed building standing back from Orange Street and having a lawn and two old trees in front of it. To the left of it and almost touching it was the church, and to the right of it Hay Street, where was the famous Polchester High School for Girls.
It was a jolly old Rectory with solid, square rooms, plenty of space and light, and a fine view over Polchester from the attic windows.
On a certain day in January 1907 Tom Longstaffe suffered from an agonising temptation, and alone in his study on that grey January morning he wrestled with this temptation, knowing in his heart that he would be beaten by it.
He had that morning found on his breakfast table the following letter from his daughter:
11 Gower Street, London, W.C.,
January 3, 1907.
Darling Father–I am coming home. Podge and I can endure being away from you no longer. I think I could have held out a while more but for your last letter, which, for all its pretended cheeriness, gave the whole show away. If you miss me so much and I miss you so much, aren’t we sillies, when life is so short, to keep away from one another? And all for what? All for a lot of chattering old women about whose opinion we neither of us care a scrap. More serious than that is the one that if I come back to live with you I may damage your congregation. They may stay away because of me. Well, if they do I can but go away again. But why should they? It isn’t as though they didn’t know all about it and haven’t known for the last five years. And it isn’t as though I were going to make myself prominent in any way. They’ll never see either Podge or myself if they don’t want to. You shall give them their tea and listen to their outpourings just as you have always done. I shan’t expect to be asked to any of their houses, and you must go to them just as you have always done. I shall make that quite plain as soon as I arrive. They’ll be used to me in no time, and only pity you and love you the more because you have such a heavy burden to bear! (Isn’t that the phrase?) And meanwhile, oh meanwhile, darling Daddy, we shall have one another! Just think of that! Morning, noon and night we shall be together and shall be wondering all the time what we have been doing to have wasted five precious years of our lives away from one another!
It is true that I have Podge, and that he is everything a mother can want in a son, but he isn’t you–and I need you both. I do indeed. And so it shall be.
As to finances, we shall manage quite well. I’m becoming quite an authority on Housing questions, the Way the Poor Live (or Don’t Live), Women’s Suffrage and anything else you like. My articles are the astonishment of economic London!
After all this you will expect to see your daughter with ink (instead of vine-leaves) in her hair and holes in her cotton frocks. Wait! Only you wait! And you shan’t wait very long either. Whether you like it or no, I am coming–so Prepare! Your always loving
Mary.
This was the letter that caused him to pace up and down his study, his head a little forward, his hands closed behind his back, his short, rather stumpy body being moved forward in jerks as though by the action of some secret spring within him. As he moved, all his past life seemed to swing around him, up and down through the bare study, bare save for his untidy table with its crucifix, its piles of letters and papers, his arm-chair, a worn sofa–bare and grey in the ugly January light.
All his life, which seemed to him now in retrospect to have consisted only of one brief moment, had been engaged in this same war between his affections and his duty. There had been that first friendship made by him at Oxford–and he saw instantly a succession of pictures of English summers and bathes and cricket-matches and long walks in dusky evenings, an Italian holiday, a trip to Egypt–and how surprised they had both been by the emotion that after a while rushed in and filled their hearts, and how he, with his English public-school training, had been afraid of sentiment and feeling and had felt that his love for his friend was stepping in front of his love for God, and how he had gradually withdrawn... and his friend had married and that had been the end. Then came his meeting with the woman whom he married, his passionate adoration of her, her quieter affection for him, some aloofness that she had, something that he never quite touched. And then in the very middle of this, when his married life and his religious life seemed so utterly to absorb him body and soul, the sudden upspringing of that strange friendship with Charles Upcott, a man of over forty, learned, a scholar, grave, an indoor man, nothing in common–and yet this sudden friendship that flamed up in a day and burnt with a steady fire until Upcott’s death, a year after their first meeting, from pleurisy. Christina, his wife, had seemed to understand this friendship and fostered it in every way. She said that it was what he needed, smiling at him in that quiet, strange, aloof way that removed her sometimes so far from him....
Here, too, he had doubted and felt that he was in the wrong. It was not only the emotional quality, felt both by Upcott and himself, that his training told him was weak and sentimental between men (although his soul told him that it was not), it was also that