Breaking the Bow: Speculative Fiction Inspired by the Ramayana
By Vandana Singh and Anil Menon
3.5/5
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Vandana Singh
Vandana Singh is a writer of speculative fiction and a professor of physics at a small and lively public university near Boston. Her critically acclaimed short stories have been reprinted in numerous best-of-year anthologies, and her most recent collection, Ambiguity Machines and Other Stories (Small Beer Press and Zubaan, 2018) was a finalist for the Philip K. Dick award. A particle physicist by training, she has been working for a decade on a transdisciplinary, justice-based conceptualization of the climate crisis at the nexus of science, pedagogy, and society. She is a Fellow of the Center for Science and the Imagination at Arizona State University. She was born and raised in India, where she continues to have multiple entanglements, both personal and professional, and divides her time between New Delhi and the Boston area. She can be found on the web at http://vandana-writes.com/.
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Breaking the Bow - Vandana Singh
Editors
Introduction
Anil Menon
A long time ago, the story goes, a young prince, the heir to a great South-Asian kingdom, threaded Siva’s mighty bow and won the heart of a brave princess. The story of what happened next, a story which begins where most love stories end, the story of the Ramayana, has been told and re-told countless times over the centuries. Hold on to a story long enough and it begins to make a people. The long shadow of the Ramayana explains why a popular Indian brand of cockroach poison is called Laxman Rekha Chalk; why a recent Bollywood superhero movie should have a villain named Ra-One; and why for some Indians the word Ram-rajya (Rama’s State) is a political ideal and not a mythical era. South-Asians have held on to this tale.
However, the twenty-four stories in Breaking the Bow are not about holding on to this great and ancient tale. They are about letting go and making ourselves anew. The Ramayana is important to this project as an inspiration, a context. To take the road not taken requires a road that has been taken. We are (mostly) interested in the road not taken.
This is very hard to do with the Ramayana. The idea that there is the
Ramayana is one of those South-Asian facts: true wherever it is not false. As A.K. Ramanujan’s wonderful must-read essay 300 Ra-mayanas shows, there are many Ramayanas. The tradition is to depart from the tradition. There is the Jaina Ramayana. The Kashmiri Ramayana. There is Brij Narain Chakbast’s Urdu Ramayana. The Muslim poet Masihi’s Persian Ramayana begins with traditional Islamic invocations. If the great archeologist H.D. Sankalia is right, there is a Lord Rama story in the Zend-Avesta. Kamban’s Tamil version, Kambaramayana, would surprise fans of Tulsidas’ Ramayana for the respect it accords Lord Ravana. Kamban’s radical influence can be seen in works as recent as Mani Ratnam’s Raavan (2010). Even more radical is the Chandravati Ramayana. Composed by a sixteenth-century female poet and bhaktin, it is mostly about Sita; a feminist Ramayana. And this is just the subcontinent proper. There are the Ramayanas from Thailand, Malaysia, Burma and Cambodia. There are many Ramayana versions, many departures.
What usually happens in such a situation is that a tradition develops in the method of departure. The story is re-imagined with shifts in points of view, minority characters are given a voice, value systems are inverted, settings are modernized and/or the story is relocated in space and time. A few stories in this collection also adopt some of these traditional techniques. Despite our suggestion that writers avoid straightforward retellings, some of the Ramayana’s characters were not so easily silenced. For example, Lord Ravana’s sister Surpanakha—mutilated by Lord Rama and Lakshman for her inappropriate amorous advances was the subject of many sympathetic treatments. It was the quality of these retellings, not their ideologies, that persuaded us to include them.
Still, such retellings are the exception. We are aiming for a different kind of departure. Most of the stories in this anthology belong to the genre of speculative fiction. Spec-fic includes science fiction, fantasy, magic realism, slipstream, surrealism, neo-modernist and postmodern lit, and many other sub-genres.
What make a story speculative? A simple answer, not entirely accurate, is that a speculative story is a non-realist story. In a realist story, the story’s context—the stuff that needn’t be told- is this world, the actual world, common-sense world. In a realist story, if two lovers meet in Navi Mumbai, the reader can be reasonably certain they are meeting in Maharashtra, India. But in a non-realist story, there are no such guarantees. Navi Mumbai could a video game, the belly of a whale or the renamed capital of Sweden.
Just as topology evolved out Euclidean geometry by relaxing the set of permitted transformations, speculative fiction evolved out of realist fiction by relaxing various constraints. Stories no longer need to be about human or pseudo-human characters. They don’t need to be set on this earth. They don’t need to be located in the past or the present. They don’t need to be written in any known human language. They don’t need to respect science or sense . Their telling could be as rigorous as a mathematical deduction or as mischievous as the square root of a cheeky orange. Such freedom is challenging, not to mention frightening. To use an old Sanskrit term, it takes a certain chutzpah.
The ancient South-Asians had chutzpah. They imagined our universe as existing for a duration of 311 trillion years (100 Brahma years), about 23, 000 times larger than the scientific estimate for the current age of the Big Bang universe (~ 13.5 billion years). They imagined multiple universes, frothing in the event-sea of creation and destruction. They imagined space and time as being illusory in the absolute and relative across the sea of universes. They imagined consciousness in all of matter, not just human beings. Divinity didn’t frighten them. The Rig-Veda ex presses doubt on the omniscience of the creator. The ancients imagined weapons that could flatten mountains, unravel minds, devastate entire armies, destroy worlds and even annihilate the gods themselves.
The South-Asians were also fascinated with language. As the linguist Frits Staal remarked, what geometry was to the Greeks, language was to the ancient South-Asians. This fascination, combined with their speculative imagination, led to stories that pushed the boundaries of what was possible with language: self-reflective stories, meta-fiction, fractal stories, frame stories stacked eight or nine levels deep, stories in which reality and fiction merged seamlessly, stories that encoded other stories, stories which questioned embodiment, gender and identity…
Of course, as in all feudal societies, the storytellers were not to disturb the sleep of the privileged few. Predictably, the stories suffered. They could not explore moral, political or social issues with much honesty. The truth was fixed in advance. The stories were afraid to question anything directly. Imagination had to hide in women’s tales, live in kitchens, speak in regional tongues, sink underground. In time, there was no need to worry about offending anybody; when have the mute offended the deaf?
In this context, A. K. Ramanujan’s comment that no Indian— at least, no Hindu- hears the epics for the first time acquires an ironic flavor. The Ramayana with its fantasy tropes should arouse the adbhut rasa—the savor of wonder—but it cannot, because in India the pleasure of a first contact with the epics is not possible. Or more accurately, the savoring of the epics as a novel experience is not possible. The epics come in many diverse versions, but diversity is not novelty. We need the novum for wonder, and that is precisely what tradition cannot offer.
But speculative fiction can. This was brought home to us by Pervin Saket’s Test of Fire, written at a fiction workshop Vandana, Suchitra Mathur and I had conducted at IIT-Kanpur in 2009. I wasn’t excited to discover that the story had Sita as its protagonist. I had read quite a few stories centered around Sita. In fact, just before coming to Kanpur I had read Namitha Gokhale’s anthology on Sita. Pervin’s interpretation of Sita didn’t break any taboos. In its disappointment at Sita’s treatment, it wasn’t particularly radical. Yet Pervin’s Sita felt new. It soon became clear that the other participants also sensed a difference. Pervin, with a clever choice of setting, had moved an ancient tale virtually forward in time. The result was a taste of the adbhut rasa, the quintessential taste of science fiction.
Pervin’s story reminded us that we once again had a literature un afraid of the imagination. We began to wonder about the sort of departures that speculative fiction—not just science-fiction—could make possible. Consider Arthur C. Clarke’s use of the Odyssey in his novel 2001. Superficially, there is little in Clarke’s novel that reminds one of the Odyssey. Yet unlike many retellings, Clarke’s Bowman recaptures the existential loneliness of Odysseus. Perhaps that’s because our horizons are now pinned to outer space, and as we stand with Clarke’s Bow man we become Odysseus gazing outwards at the glittering infinite sea.
Clarke’s telling was as elegant as his setting was essential. We wondered if something similar would be possible with our own great epic.
I am glad to report our authors rose to the challenge. This is an inter national effort. We have authors from India, Sri Lanka, United States, Britain, France, Holland and Dubai. Some like Manjula Padmanabhan, Tabish Khair, Priya Sarukkai Chabria and Abha Dawesar are very well known, but we also have many new voices. The result is a one-of-a-kind anthology. Delicate fantasies such as Shweta Narayan’s Falling or Aishwarya Subramaniyan’s Making sit next to K. Srilata’s philosophical Game of Asylum Seekers, Pratap Reddy’s murder mystery Vaidehi and Sucharita Dutta-Asane’s magic realist From Sita to Vaidehi. Sometimes, like the long-lost twins in the Hindi movie Ram Aur Shyam, stories mirror each other because they are so different. Priya Sarukkai Chabria’s poetic Fragments From The Book of Beauty is city-twin to Molshree Ambastha’s amusing Why Me? Molshree’s story, written in the heart felt, irony-free style characteristic of Ram-leelas, perhaps has the best last line of all the stories.
We found other mirrors. Kuzhali Manickavel’s The Ramayana As An American Reality Show is in its way as hallucinogenic as Tori Truslow’s Machanu Visits The Underworld. Similarly, Neelanjana Banerjee’s Exile parallels Lavie Tidhar’s cyberpunk This, Other World. The desolate alternate history of Abirami Velliangiri’s Great Disobedience meets the grim archeology of Swapna Kishore’s Regressions. You will find many voices, many novums, many rasas. Bring a large spoon.
Acknowledgements: All editors should be so lucky as I was to have a co-editor with the sensibility and judgment of my friend Vandana Singh. Our anthology also exists because of the investment and imagination of the people behind Zubaan Books, especially Urvashi Butalia and Anita Roy. This independent press has the stoutest heart in all of Indian publishing. A heartfelt namasthe to Shweta Tewari for shepherding us through the process; our many bleats and excuses must have been in credibly annoying. And finally, Saras, for making my orbits around the sun such fun.
Introduction
Vandana Singh
I first heard the Ramayana when I was very little. From time immemorial, the epic has been carried down through the generations as an oral tradition. I heard it from my mother and my paternal grandmother; the Amar Chitra Katha comic books came much later. My grandmother was particularly fond of the Bal Kand in the Ramcharitmanas of Tulsi das, which describes in beautiful verse the childhood antics of the young hero, Ram, and to this day I can sing or recite parts of it.
It was my grandfather—a man of great intelligence, sensitivity and integrity, who first gave me a hint that there were multiple Ramayanas. He loved many aspects of the ancient texts, particularly the Upanishads, and was the first person to inculcate in me an appreciation of the sounds of poems in Sanskrit, especially the Geet Govind. Yet he did not hesitate to criticize when he had good reason to do so. (One of the great freedoms of Hinduism is surely the lack of a Big-Brother-style religious police to prevent you from having your say). I remember him raging about some sections of the Manu-smriti, or pointing out an absurdity in the Vishnu Purana. Once he told me that there were many versions of the Ramayana, and that some versions contained interpolations that were clearly anachronistic, containing references that belonged to times later than that of the original story. I didn’t think much about it then, being in my pre-teen years and distracted by cricket and climbing trees, but I remembered this later when I came across references to Ramayanas from the point of view of the villain, Ravana, and from Sita’s vantage point as well. Now I think of the Ramayana as a kind of palimpsest, a tapestry in multiple layers, a creation of many voices through the ages, an entity always in the making, and thus always alive.
Even as a child, I had, in a sense, encountered many Ramayanas already, because my mother’s version and my grandmother’s version, although both derived from the one written by Tulsidas in the late sixteenth century, were embroidered by their own interpolations and interpretations. During the Ramlila festivities in Delhi we would watch the great effigies being erected, and the young Ram, much painted and made-up, draw his great bow to let loose a flaming arrow. Straight to the navel of Ravana it would go, and the firecrackers inside the giant would burst into a great and noisy conflagration. Then there would be enactments in neighborhoods, and Ramayana ballets on TV. The characters in each were transformed, made alive, each in a different way. I still recall the great death-dance of Jatayu, felled in battle with Ravana when Jatayu attempted to prevent the kidnapping of princess Sita.
It was my grandfather who told me that the Ramayana is not simply a story of the victory of good over evil, but like that other great text, the Bhagavad Gita, it is also a metaphor for the battle in the soul. This stayed with me, as did my grandmother’s unexpected radicalism. She loved the Ramayana, and as a young woman she left home during the freedom movement to join the Salt Satyagraha, something quite unexpected for a girl from a good family in the India of the day. She loved the Ramayana and she hated the caste system. It was only later that I understood that the vanquishing of evil takes place as much in the soul as in the battleground.
There are many retellings of the Ramayana but where this book de parts is that the stories are not retellings. They are distributaries of the great network of rivers, that is the Ramayana tradition; they are modern additions to the Kathasaritsagara— the ocean of streams of stories—of the Ramayana. They are unique in that, as befits the imaginative scope of the ancient storytellers, the setting is not limited to earth but might be the cosmos itself, and the actors and tellers are as varied as a single mother in present-day India and a time-traveler from the far future. Speculative fiction, I believe, comes naturally to us Indians, since we have a tendency to embroider and prevaricate, to let the imagination run riot, and to argue incessantly. To me speculative fiction has a great revolutionary potential—merely by asking the question what if?
we might overturn the established order, the conventional point of view; thrones may tremble and the mighty fall. Thus speculative fiction allows the alien (sometimes indistinguishable from the female, or a member of the other race) to tell its story. And in doing so, speculative fiction, as a new form of fiction, is completely consistent with a very old way of looking at things. Let me explain by telling a story from the ancient Upanishadic traditions. The divine principle, the story goes, was once undifferentiated. Nothing else existed but itself. In order to know itself the divine entity divided itself up into planets, rocks, stars, trees, humans, birds, all that now is. The great dramas of existence, including the war between good and evil, are all part of the attempt of the divine to know itself. The Sanskrit word ‘leela,’ which means play
in both the serious and the playful sense, refers to this cosmic drama. This idea is a wonderful metaphor for writers, who create worlds in order to know the world. In that sense, then, these stories that take inspiration from the Ramayana tradition both depart from it and are part of it. They are attempts at play
in the sense of leela,
with the cosmos itself as the grand stage. Through characters as complicated, intriguing, layered and flawed as those in the original streams of story that form the great Ramayana tradition, they explore what it means to be human in this universe. They are testament to the enduring power of the great epics. When Anil Menon first broached the idea of the anthology to me, as it emerged from the unforgettable first SF workshop at IIT-Kanpur in 2009,I was immediately enthusiastic. Anil did a great deal of the work in making this project a reality, including soliciting and screening stories. It was a great pleasure collaborating with him on the editing of the final stories; his instinct for fine storytelling, his acuity as an editor and his good sense and friendship are things I cherish. I should mention also that Anil insisted on a previously published Ramayana story from me, to which, after multiple hesitations, I agreed. Equally I am grateful to the intrepid team at Zubaan for their enthusiasm, creativity and courage, and for putting up with the vagaries of my schedule with unrivalled patience. And I am grateful to the authors whose stories I had the privilege to read and edit—they taught me a lot about writing. Since many of them are newcomers, I am both ecstatic and humbled by the great store of story-telling talent so evident in the India of today—another way in which an old tradition remains alive.
The Ramayana as an American Reality Television Show
Internet Activity Following the Mutilation of Surpanakha
Kuzhali Manickavel
Statement on Surpanakha’s Blog to Fans
Hi everyone. I just want to thank all my fans out there who have been so supportive of me during this very difficult time. The doctors say my ears are going to be ok but it might be a while before my breasts and my nose grow back completely. I can’t even begin to tell you how traumatized I am over this whole incident but I want my fans to know that your love and support means so much and is really helping me get through this. I am thankful for each and every one of you, love you guys.
Comments Are Closed
Invitation to Join ‘Legal Action Against Lakshmana Now!’ Facebook Group
On last week’s episode of The Ramayana, millions of viewers were shocked and outraged when Lakshmana cut off Surpanakha’s ears, nose and breasts on live television. Lakshmana has some serious anger management issues but we feel he has clearly crossed the line here. Take a stand NOW! Lakshmana needs to be held accountable for his actions! Show him that it’s NOT OK to cut somebody’s body parts off, even if that somebody is just a rakshasi! Join NOW! We are starting a petition to send to the network and we need EVERYONE’S SUPPORT!
Invitation to Join ‘Surpanakha is an Ugly Rakshasi Bitch and I’m Glad Lakshmana Cut Her Tits Off ‘ Facebook Group
Join this group if you agree that Surpanakha is a fucking rakshasi and rakshasis deserve to get their tits cut off ! Full video clips of Lakshmana’s awesome sword skills in H-D now posted! Also join the We Love Lakshmana! Group to show your support for a homeboy who isn’t scared to DO SOMETHING when people he cares about are threatened! Show some love for his awesome initiative that finally got that bitch off the show! YAY!
The Real Rama’s Twitter Updates
My beautiful wife is doing fine now. Sure feels great to have such a beautiful wife! Hope everyone is having a great day!
Had a nice, long talk with L about what happened. Sure feels great to have such a great brother! Hope everyone is having a great day!
Just want to say that I totally support L’s actions. I love my brother and my beautiful wife. Hope everyone is having a great day!
Fans who want to buy a sword just like the one L used on the last episode, go to my website! Hope everyone is having a great day!
So thankful for my beautiful wife and my brother and all you great fans out there, hope everyone had a great day!
Transcript of Interview with Lakshmana Posted at lakshmanaloyalists.com
Admin
: So there’s been some flacktalk about what you did to Surpanakha.
Lakshmana
: Aw man, you know.
Admin
: Some people are upset and.
Lakshmana
: Rakshasas are upset. Don’t say people are upset, I haven’t met any people who are upset by what I did to her.
Admin
: Well there are some people.
Lakshmana
: Well I just want to know what these people
would do if a rakshasi came and threatened their family. You know?
Admin
: Yeah,
Lakshmana
: Because I know that it must be real easy to sit at home in front of a television or a computer screen and think oh man, if that was me I would not have cut that bitch, you know what I’m saying?
Admin
: Exactly, yeah.
Lakshmana
: I mean like it’s so easy to say shit like that and just run your mouth when you’re not there. I live with the threat of those motherfuckers every single day.
Admin
: Absolutely.
Lakshmana
: And I know what they’re capable of. I know how their minds work. So if you want to support her, that’s your choice. But I’m thinking maybe that’s an easy choice for you to make if you don’t live with that threat or if you’ve never even seen a real rakshasa up front and in your face.
Admin
: Exactly. And I was just looking through some of these sup port sites and petitions and I’m thinking-
Lakshmana
: Fucking bullshit man.
Admin
: Totally.
Lakshmana
: Every last one of those fuckers would have cut her same as me if they were in my position.
Admin
: So no regrets?
Lakshmana
: Absolutely not. I mean if I cut a rakshasi, she probably deserved it.
Admin
: Oh man, we’re going to put that on some t-shirts. Ray, can we get that on some t-shirts?
Lakshmana
: For real?
Admin
: Oh absolutely. I think a lot of Loyalists will really vibe with what you just said and they’d be proud to wear a t-shirt like that. I know I would.
Lakshmana
: Well that’s great man and I just want to say thank-you to all my fans and supporters and you Loyalists especially for just showing us so much love and support and being there and just being real, you know what I’m saying? I just want to say I really feel ya’ll, I really do.
Comments Posted Below YouTube Clip Showing Lakshmana Cutting Off Surpanakha’s Breasts, Ears and Nose
haiyourstorysucks
: PWND rakshasi mofo
cakesmash47
: we are occupy your boobies haha
CRAZY88Z: uh, excuse me but I can see your tits. ALL OVER THE FLOOR!!!
WMDZINURTITZ: ROTFLMAO!!!!!!
chucklefuck: epiclulz
skwirlAIDS
: fake and gay
KumariLuvzAMonstr
: I know she’s a rakshasi and all but this is going too far IMO. Why didn’t r just tell her he’s not into her?
suckitSurpanakha
: um, she’s a RAKSHASI! And he’s RAMA! He rly haz to say something? Rly?
limpdik79
: It’s funnier if you listen on mute!!!
imdoinurmom
: Nowai, her screaming is the best part
oompaloompa94
: Somebody should remix this
lolwut84: Somebody should autotune her screaming
alex7893643
: Pretty good video! But I’ve seen better stuff on hot-gayteensexfullsucking.com. Check it out, you won’t regret trust me!!
gingershavsouls
: Rakshasis have souls!
nahtseejoo
: you can see her pussy when she falls down
jonezeezgrl
: I feel sorry for her
stormfrontjaiho: nigger
The Real Rama’s Twitter Updates
Thanks for all the congratulatory messages, feels great to wipe out a rakshasa army single-handedly. Hope everyone’s having a great day!
Leading group of saints and sages thanked us for making the forest a safer place. Hope everyone’s having a great day!
You can order my booklet ‘How to Wipe out a Rakshasa Army’ from my website. Hope everyone’s having a great day!
‘How to Wipe out a Rakshasa Army’ video tutorial now available for pre-order on my website. Hope everyone’s having a great day!
Message on Surpanakha’s Blog to Fans
Hi everyone. I didn’t really want to post this but I feel that my fans deserve to know a few things. By now you guys have seen what happened to Khara and Dusana. And I know a lot of people are looking at it like a certain guy is so awesome for killing a whole army of rakshasas by himself. But the way I see it, I just lost my brothers who were trying to stand up for me. I’ve been dissed, teased, lied to and I’ve lost a lot of things in my life and every single loss has made me stronger. So I just want to tell all the haterz out there who hoped I would break down or cry or kill myself or whatever, fuck you haterz. I just keep coming back, I keep coming back harder and stronger and the more hate you throw at me, the harder I come back. Haterz gonna hate but I feed off that hate. I’m a bad bitch and when I say bad, motherfucker you have NO IDEA how bad.
I know a lot of people have been saying stuff like I deserve to get cut and K and D deserved to die because we’re rakshasas and we shouldn’t have even been messing with humans in the first place. I’m not even going to respond to that because I’ve been hearing that shit all my life and I’m so over it. If that’s what you think, fine. I don’t give a fuck.
If a certain guy really wasn’t interested in me, he could have been straight with me instead of being a player and lying. He could have been real with me like I was real with him. But you know what? I’m so over him, I’m so over his perfect wife and I’m so over his psychotown brother. I really am. I think there are things that just happen and they are bigger than you and all you can do is take the lesson and move on. I’m about to head out and stay with my brother Raavana for a while. I’m very upset about what has happened and I just need to be with family right now. Big love to my fans.
Comments
GenCodemidget
: Why did you shape shift when you met this ‘certain guy’? I don’t necessarily mean this as a criticism. I guess I’m just interested in how this is ‘real’ or how his reaction was any less ‘real’ than yours and your implications of ‘real’. I mean, how real am I? I am just some pixels on a screen but does that make me less real than you? I’m just not sure I understand your constructs of reality and why you believe they are important enough to alter or why I should care. If you think I’m not real, does that mean I should change myself?
AnonymousHaider
: I think it’s neat how you came into a discussion about someone who got mutilated and had her brothers killed and made it all about yourself
GenCodemidget
: I don’t think that was necessarily what I meant to imply but I think it’s interesting you got that impression. I guess I’m more concerned about the concept of reality and its deconstruction. It’s something that mildly interests me, like when I go to the Combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell, how does everything there and its reality relate to me? And how is that reality more relevant than, say, a plastic bag?
AnonymousHaider
: Mmmm, combination pizza huts.
GenCodemidget
: I don’t think I meant to necessarily imply any thing about combination pizza huts but I think it’s interesting that you like them. I guess I’m ambivalent about them as reality constructs.
SurpaFan89
: Love you Surpanakha, stay strong!
Rakz4EVR
: Rakz gonna break it down like a crazy motherfucker. It’s a brand new day son, you better RECOGNIZE. We got your back S.
Surpanakha
: First of all, thanks for all the love you guys, you’re seriously the best fans ever and I am humbled and grateful for every single one of you. Second, to GenCodemidget. If I hadn’t shapeshifted and gone up to this ‘certain guy’, I would be dead right now. That’s what’s real. That’s reality. Do you run the risk of getting killed just for being who you are? If you don’t, you need to shut the fuck up. I’m not ashamed of who I am but I’m not stupid. And I know how people treat rakshasas, I live that. That’s my reality. It’s obviously not your reality so you need to be thankful for that and just step off because you obviously don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.
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Leaked Emails from Surpanakha’s Account to UltimateLoveGuru.Com-Free Love Advice From Real People Who Really Care! Not Outsourced!
Hi. I have this friend who really likes this guy. And she told him she liked him and he didn’t really say anything. Like he didn’t tell her to fuck off and he didn’t cut her or anything and that’s good, right? Anyway, she really likes him. She can’t stop thinking about him and she thinks they would make a great couple and he’s got some issues he’s trying to deal with right now and my friend knows she can really help him out. The thing is, he has this wife who’s really pretty and perfect. I mean she kind of just sits there but whatever, he seems to like her a lot. And my friend is nothing like the perfect wife. I mean, I know my friend is awesome in a lot of other ways but when people see her, they’re like whatever, you’re a fucking rakshasi, get the fuck out of my face, bitch. You know what I’m saying?
Anyway, this guy has a psychotown brother who cut off my friend’s nose and ears and tits because he thought my friend was disrespecting the perfect wife. And I didn’t even touch her! I didn’t even touch her and she was like all scared and screaming and shit. I didn’t even touch her. And anyway I’m looking at her and I’m like, bitch please. If I had business to take care of, I’m thinking that I would want a bitch that’s got my back instead of a bitch that just sits there and screams, you know? But whatever. Anyway, after that there was a lot of drama and the guy, the guy my friend likes, he killed my friend’s brothers. And even though that’s like epic disrespect she still really likes him. So what should my friend do? She has this plan which could totally work to get him to like her. I think it would work. I mean she told me about her plan and I really think she should do it but she would like your opinion too.
Hi!
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